..seriously....

Here's a llama, there's a llama and another little llama; fuzzy llama; funny llama; llama llama; duck; llama llama; cheesecake; llama; tablet; brick; potato; llama; llama llama; mushroom; llama llama llama; duck...

It's stuck.

*laughing laughing laughing!!*

Today's Reading

Certainly when you're contemplating the big, noticeable decisions, you make sure they align with your values and mission and personal purposes. But what about all the little momentary decisions you're constantly making?

Those seemingly small decisions have great power because there are so many more of them. And they're decisions you can often make without even thinking about them.

Those unthinking decisions are known as habits. A habit is a decision you make once that is carried out again and again.

Though each action done by habit may be small, the cumulative effect on your life can be enormous. The way to move your life in the direction you choose, is to make sure that all your many habits are working with you rather than against you.

Take the time and make the effort to align your habits with your values and purposes.

Ohhhhhh......

Lemme round up the spare change and see what I can afford......

I betcha Visa and Mastercard are accepted.

'Cuse me......

Sometimes I wander places and I'm....moved to say some things.
Sometimes I wander places and I'm silent. I know that's rare. I don't do 'silence' well. I enter, I roam around, I try to remember to introduce myself and ask permission to comment or remain.
Sometimes places I stumble in to seem.....well....private.

Most times I get this sense that there's something I can bring to the other people.
Sometimes, it's a sense of what that other person can also bring to me.

I don't suppose I always make it clear which happens where. I guess I've never felt compelled to make that compulsory. Maybe people don't care, or it's insignificant in the big scope of things?

Yesterday I went to a familiar 'hat hangin' place' to the question of 'why do you show up?'.
It was a humbly asked question.
I don't think I was prepared for it. I know I stumbled around, trying to make it make sense to the receiver. Leastwise it felt like stumbling.....

Really, I don't show up at places out of obligation.
It's rare that I do that in my life 'out here'.....it just doesn't happen in my life 'in here'.
True--I'm a creature of habit. True, I show up at predictable times, take my coffee--play a bit here and there......say what's true for me here and there--feast on life's happenings here, there and everywhere......and I move into what's in front of me.
That's not obligation for me--it's familiarity and 'home'. It's the familiarness of kind hearts, kindred spirits, the genuineness of those I've come to have a connectedness to. I'm just getting a 'daily dose' of a good thing.

If I had to explain it in universal terms, I'm not sure I could. Different places, different reasons--a connectedness that I cannot always place into words.....it's just where I land -- and it's a 'want to' landing, not a 'have to' landing.

I think there's multiple reasons the question still plagues me today.
I don't necessarily feel obligated to explain my presence anywhere--here or there... I go where I'm led to go, where I'm brought to, where I'm moved to go or stay or BE.
It's that simple for me.
Not that it's 'simply understood'. I don't suspect that the masses would 'get it'.
I think there's some degree of importance to ME understanding...and me only.

But I have this strange deal going with 'here'.

I don't need an audience.
I didn't start with one--I don't expect one. It's a joyous celebration that, on occasions, I have one.
What's important is 'there' and 'here'....
Okay. That sounds strange and in direct conflict to some of what I put into black and white in this same piece of garbled up mess that only I'll understand--which is exactly why HERE has been significant to me in the first place.......

LOL

Okay. So it bugs you that you were asked the question and struggled to put it into words.
Wait.
It bugs you that you were asked the question and struggled to put it into words that others would 'understand'.
Ain't about them understanding Mel--it's about YOU getting it.

I get it.

:-)

Wooohoooo.....I GET it!!

Focus Fairy

Stop worrying about what you're not getting done. Focus on being effective at what you're doing right now.
Fretting and complaining that there's not enough time will only waste more of your time. Just take one task, let go of your thoughts about everything else, and get it finished.

At any point in time, you're either focused on one thing or focused on another. It is always your choice to make.

When the distractions entice you to lose focus, remind yourself that you can always indulge in them later. And get right back to the work at hand.

Things that make me happy

....the digital keyring the bug gave me for a prezzie.

....bug 'happy noises' as she wakes up and plays. (sheeshhhh...I'm such a Nana!)

....finding a bib in the laundry. (OH darn, I'll just haffta make a trip to return it!)

....above zero temperatures.

....weeding through photos of adventures. (digital ones of course...LOL)

....hearing the 'puter fan come on. (silly thing overheated...)

....the stacking snowman toy. :-)

....OH!! and winning a prezzie to pass forward!!!!

Today's Fairy Reading

What does it mean to take care of myself emotionally?

I recognize when I'm feeling angry, and I accept that feeling without shame or blame.
I recognize when I'm feeling hurt, and I accept those feelings without attempting to punish the source of my pain.
I recognize and feel fear when that emotion presents itself.
I allow myself to feel happiness, joy, and love when those emotions are available.

Taking care of myself means I've made a decision that it's okay to feel.
Taking care of my emotions means I allow myself to stay with the feeling until it's time to release it and go on to the next one.

I recognize that sometimes my feelings can help point me toward reality, but sometimes my feelings are deceptive.
They are important, but I do not have to let them control me.
I can feel, and think too.

I'm open to the lessons my emotions may be trying to teach me.
And after I feel, accept, and let go of the feeling, I ask myself what it is I want or need to do to take care of myself.

Did I mention......

....that she's a very happy baby.

A very good baby.

And a very happy baby.

QOTW 1.4.10

What do you do with all those photographs you keep taking? You know, the ones on your digital camera?



My first thought goes straight to the camera and "HE BOUGHT IT FOR ME!!!!"
The best offence is a great defense, I'm told.

k...well..... Truth is--I take a bazillion photos.
Cuz I hope one or two will turn out cool.
And then I download the bazillion photos.
And then I can't decide which ones to delete.
Or I think "I can crop that and it'll be good!"
And then I don't crop it and it sits in the folder with the bazillion other photos.
And it eats up the space on the laptop......and the desktop...

Or so I was told.

So I bought flash sticky things--cuz they go into the photo frames to display digital photos, dontchaknow.
And I rummaged for HOURS picking out which of the bazillions of photos I'd wanna have IN the photo frames.
And did I destroy the other ones NOT stored in the flash sticky thingie? Ummmmm.....no.
I might need 'em...
Someday. Maybe?

k....then there's the flash sticky thingies that just have bug photos--every one I've taken, soyaknow....cuz the girl wants a copy of 'em. (she seems to think I take good photos of the bug)....so there's now three flash sticky thingies of just bug photos...cuz what if I lose my hard drive where the ORIGINAL photos are stored?! OMG.....that'd be horrid!...hence the flash sticky thingies.....had to have another reason, dontchaknow)
And there's the flash sticky thingie that features 'the best of the bug' just for digital frame displaying purposes. (it's gettin' kinda full.....better get another flash sticky thingie.....)

Oh--and I did take all the photos from the floppy discs and put 'em on one of those flash sticky thingies. And of course I uploaded 'em to the desktop first so I COULD put 'em on the flash sticky thingie.....and of course I kept 'em there--cuz what if I lose the flash sticky thingie?!

Yaknow--I'm thinkin' one of those 'external hard drive' plug in through the USB port whozits might be a good plan for the bazillions of photos on the laptop/desktop.

Ummm.....yeah well....I think I failed to mention that what's on the desktop is also on the laptop.
I mean--c'mon......what if I'm ON the laptop and the photos I wanna look at are on the desktop?!!


<-- ALWAYS thinking!!



Ummm.....HE BOUGHT IT FOR ME!

Workin' on the chaingang....lalalala

Fairy Reminder

Loneliness and isolation are familiar states to most of us. We often protected our insecurities by hiding out, believing that we'd survive if others didn't know who we really were. But we discovered that our insecurities multiplied. The remedy is people - talking to people, exposing our insecurities to them, risking, risking, risking.

Our most hated shortcoming is not unique, and that brings relief. It's so easy to feel utterly shamed in isolation. Hearing another person say, "I understand. I struggle with that too," lifts the shame, the dread, and the burden of silence.

Sleeping with Bread

The examen, based on the spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius, helps a person hold onto what spiritually nourishes him by looking at what is giving him consolation in his life or causing him desolation. It allows someone to express his gratitude to God for the good stuff and turn to him for solace for the bad stuff.

Finger to keyboard moment--
Now is when I pause long enough to ask myself:

What have I hung on to that I would have been better served letting go of?
What have I let go of that I would have been better served holding on to?

Seems I have a 'habit' of letting go of things I need to hang on to and hanging on to things that I really just need to let go of.
Leastwise, this is what I'm told....and I don't figure I get told that for the other person's health!

Soooo....in this past week--

Things that needed let go of:

* There's been mounds of impatience with people who work at their own pace and not at the pace YOU think they oughta work at.
* The fact is--other people have a way of getting a job that doesn't match YOUR way of getting the job done. Job GETS done, isn't that what matters?
* People are going to make choices that don't quite meet your decision making expertise (insert laughter!!)/ You can let 'em make the choices and live with their successes and their growth opportunities. REALLY you can.
* Not everyone has the same principles for living that you have. Period. There's room for you OWN growth, donthca think? You grew at your own pace--so will others. (back to that 'impatience' thing again...)
* NO you don't get to tell others to 'get over themselves'. People have their own egos to deal with--you contend with YOUR OWN.
* You don't know what's good for other people. (attach that to all the above....)
* Human beings will have moods. SO WILL YOU.
* No, you don't get to predict what will happen next. Don't bother spending your energy there.
* 'Stuff' happens. No matter what you do--'stuff' will get to happen. And you'll get to 'deal'.
* Nope--it ain't 'fair'. But it is NOT without purpose!

And this week--

Things that needed held on to:

* My G-d really IS an awesome G-d.
* This too, shall pass.
* Things happen in G-d's time--and with (sometimes) a greater purpose than I could ever hope to envision.
* I'm just another child of G-d.
* G-d IS large and in charge.
* "There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance--that principle is contempt prior to investigation." Herbert Spencer

Ewwwwwww

k

Why would anyone mix sweet potatoes and corn?

I wouldn't let that stuff come CLOSE to touching on my plate.

ABSOLUTELY NO WAY would those two touch.

And they MAKE it blended up together to feed wee things?!?!


Small wonder it comes out lookin' ----- yeah..... *shudder*


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*note to self*

DO NOT make the bug eat anything blended together that you wouldn't NOT let touch on your plate.

I don't care if the mom delivers it for her daily dose of 'veggies'.
Plain ol' peas and plain ol' green beans come out 'icky' enough!

(just sayin'.....)

TFTD

Because you're not what I would have you be, I blind myself to who, in truth, you are.
—Madeleine L'Engle

Sometimes we expect far too much of the people around us, and because no one can ever live up to those expectations, we are almost always disappointed. But wouldn't it be better if we just let go, and let people be who they are? Then we'd be able to see them as they are - with all their beauty and goodness in which we take joy, and with all their faults, which we can also see in ourselves.

FYI

301 days until HALLOWEEN

(There's a 'fact' that brings me a 'happy' feeling..... Well....that and the fact that the fairy reading book is in the middle of the livingroom and NOWHERENEARME!!)

Excuse me while Mel FEELS her feeling(s)

Now, I'll note the reading fairies classified this as 'dust'.
Probably cuz the concept is as old as the hills and Mel hasn't bothered to 'embrace' it.

'Embrace' it.
FEEL the feelings....
*rolling eyes*

Ohforcryingoutloud.....

I don't know about anyone else, but that 'new agey' 'FEEL your feelings' jazz--I don't care WHO delivers it--is JAZZ. (that's the nicest word I could come up with at this moment....was gonna say 'bunk'.......and even that's kinda nice compared to the word I had run through my brain and thankfully not out my mouth!)

EMBRACE your feelings.
FEEL those feelings.

Right.
I'll acknowledge 'em, go for what's true and MOVE on.

Yaknow--I had a gal at work who made me nutz with her "Relax, release.....let go" that she chanted too frequently.
Yeah, yeah, yeah...much nicer than "GET OVER IT, Mel!" but c'mon...."relax, release.....let go"?!

Do I strike ya as the kind who'd "relax, release.....let go"?!
I suppose--but only if you're not checking for gouge marks from me fighting to hold on as someone/something is ripping that whateveritisI'mholdingonto from my clutches.

"Relax, release.....let go....."
"FEEL your feelings....."

k.
K!

I'm all about it being 'okay' to feel everything you feel. Feelings aren't wrong, they're just--feelings. You have 'em--you don't haffta to act on 'em. Or in my case, you don't even bother to give yourself permission TO act on 'em cuz ya KNOW they're just freaking feelings.....

Sheeeeeeeshhhhh.
Frankly, mine stem from 'stuff' that involve a whole lot of creative brain work.

I imagine.
I ruminate over stuff I don't really KNOW.
I worry....and invent problems which three quarters of the time don't bother to materialize.
I come to conclusions without investigating--I assume. The old "contempt prior to investigation" happens over and over and over and over again.
I don't get the facts--sometimes cuz I don't WANNA know--and I borrow troubles/worries and wonder.
I don't wait, I don't investigate, I don't check things out....and I don't bother to look past what my creative little brain is telling me.

Damn itty bitty shitty committee.....

FEEL my feelings......
......yeah, yeah, yeah....

How about "GET THE FACTS before you start going half cocked on that brainfodder".
THAT'D serve me better.

k.

I'm leaving a sticky note in the reading book for the reading fairies.
I'm sure they'll appreciate it.

*rolling eyes and tossing book*

Fairy Dust

It's okay to have and feel our feelings - all of them.

....wriggle bug....

Nope--there IS no slipping into the next room to get her bottle/toy/snack. OH no...she's scooching, and pulling herself up and flip flopping and wriggling all over the place. UP, down, UP....down, UP, UP NOW!

*laughing*
She is sooooo close to taking off on her hands and knees. And boy is she gonna be quick!

Small wonder pooooor granddad looks worn out this evening.

I'd blame my part day at work--but even after I got home.....he's UP, down, UP.....down, UP, UP NOW with 'she who must be cuddled and loved and played with'......and apparently 'catered to'.

Or, maybe she's now the one with the SWMBO title?

Though--come to think of it, he did insist she nap.

Not that he put her down, of course--

<-- mean Nana with dumb rules.

I guess he figured if I put her down I'd maintain the title?

*laughing*

UP, down, UP.....down, UP, UP NOW!! Yup...she is allllllllllll over the place.

...........but then again, so is he......

*laughing*

I'm thinkin' they'll both sleep incredibly well tonight.

Welcome to a New Year

Just do it Fairy

Sometimes it's really hard to get going. We put off things we don't want to do, or are afraid to try. We occasionally feel overwhelmed by the size of a job to be done, like clearing out the cellar or reading that long book for a class.

But think a minute. If Beethoven had thought about how complicated it was to write his Ninth Symphony, with all those instruments and voices and notes to blend together, do we really think he would ever have started? But he didn't get overwhelmed. He sat down and wrote just one small note, and then another, and a third. It took him months, but writing one note led to a second, and, one note at a time, he completed it.

We begin the same way with whatever tasks we have ahead of us. Each tiny bit of progress helps us go on to the next part. We begin by reading one page of that book, or taking one box of junk from the cellar. That's all we have to do. The rest will follow almost on its own. The trick is to begin.

What needs to be done today, and how do I start?