There is nothing funny about it.....

Trust me, I'm not laughing.

Neither is himself.

Guess who's got the flu--g'head........guess.

Tell ME I'm stinky, eh?!

Poor fella. He even suffered through a flu shot cuz he wanted to 'protect' me.
Oy.....


Good news though--I knew what to hand to him when the upchuck bunnies started happening.

Coke.
And mint lifesavers.

I've lived on those two things for the past three days.
Betcha he doesn't call me stinky for a very, very long time though...LOL
Oops....I just laughed..........

Stinky patient, stinky house

Okay--it's true.
I'm a lousey patient.

I never have been fond of being sick.
It interfers with my plans.

And you're suppose to be 'good' when you're sick. I'm not good. I'm not into following directions and I'm not into fitting into some neat little box.
That doesn't alter just because I'm feeling poorly.
I get more determined, more verbal (in the form of whining, apparently) and more obstinant.

No, I don't want soup--I don't want anything.
I want Coke. I don't drink Coke, but it's what I want.
No, I don't want to lay down any more.
I don't want that blanket--I want the blue one with the bears on it.
I need a bath--I'll feel better if I just have a bath with bubbles and smelly stuff.
I smell sick--I hate smelling sick.....
I need gum (why--I don't know...LOL)...(they're not demands mind you--they're verbal outbursts as I go searching for a Coke that we don't have, a blanket that's tucked away somewhere that I can't find and gum that I never, ever chew---LORD help me if I actually LET himself cater to me because I don't feel good!!)

I've officially made myself nutz.
I'm tired of being sick. Do I feel 'better'? Who the heck knows or cares!!
I'm done now!!
HOW I did this for months on end during chemotherapy without killing myself or the people around me, I do not know.
I've lasted all of three days and I'm ready to come out of my skin.

Didn't help that himself entered the house after a few hours at his workplace to announce "It smells like sickness."

THAT'S it!! Windows got opened and another bath was run.
If I was planning to milk this for one more day--those plans got messed with.

I stunk up a house.
A whole house.

I shall choose my perfume very wisely today.

Feeding Seemore

Guess who felt sorry for the 'poor little squirrel' who couldn't climb up the feeder pole?

*shaking head*

He's such a schmooze......

Sunday with the pigeon....

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.
When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation--some fact of my life--unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is suppose to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake.
Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I can accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy.
I need to concentrate no so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and my attitudes."

"Shakespeare said, "All the world's a stage, all the men and women merely players." He forgot to mention that I was the chief critic.
I was always able to see the flaw in every person, every situation. And I was always glad to point it out, because I knew you wanted perfection, just as I did.
A.A. and acceptance have taught me that there is a bit of good in the worst of us and a bit of bad in the best of us; that we are all children of God and we each have a right to be here.
When I complain about me or you, I am complaining about God's handiwork. I am saying that I know better than God."
"....perhaps the best thing of all for me is to remember that my serenity is inversely proprotional to my expectatons. The higher my expectations of (my spouse) and other people are, the lower is my serenity.
I can watch my serenity level rise when I discard my expectations. But them my 'rights' try to move in and they, too, can force my serenity level down.
I have to discard my 'rights', as well as my expecations by asking myself "How important is it, really? How important is it compared to my serenity, my emotional sobreity?"
" ....when I place more value on my serenity and sobriety than on anything else, I can maintain them at a higher level. I must keep my magic magnifying mind on my acceptance and off my expectations, for my serenity is directly porportional to my level of acceptance."

It's a mouthful, huh?
And it takes practice.....lots and lots of practice.
Welcome to my world--where I'm 'entitled', where it's my 'right' to have happiness (which means 'gimme what I want NOW')....and if ONLY the world and everyone in it would listen to ME--ah what a wondrous world it would be..........*snickering*

Sunday with the pigeons is such a wonderful time--it keeps everything 'right sized' for me and reminds me of the places I've been....and can wander anytime again, should I decide 'entitlement', 'rights' and playing 'the critic' is something I want to engage in.

I can do all that without ever picking up a drink.
Sober up a drunken horse thief and you still have a horse thief.
I was a craphead when I drank and after I QUIT drinking--I was still a craphead.
I know a whole lot of sober horse thiefs. *sigh*

And I get to work with a whole lot of pigeons who hit that 10-15 year 'crazies'. Yep, we can boast that we're not drinking--but that's about the extent of our boasting material. We're still living lies, trying to run the show and making our happiness everyone else's responsibility.

Been there, done that--ended up on the other side of the hospital bed being told 'Surrender or surrender'.
This little passage is a mouthful. And it's one we talked today.

Nowhere in there does it say I 'like' what I'm accepting. That's not required--the surrender is, the acceptance is. LIKING it---not required.

Husband's being a jerk--you don't have to like that he's being a jerk. And you certainly don't have to tolerate the intolerable.....but it's where he is, he's dancing as fast as he can (even if you don't like the dance) and he's there for a reason. Check to see your part in it all, correct what needs corrected by you and move on. One jerk is enough, dontchathink? LOL

Sounds too simple?
Complicate it by refusing to do anything until HE does something different.
LOL Run it til the wheels fall off, babe.
G'head..........make that expectation and see how far it goes.

Been THERE done THAT--my expectations are for myself today. Those are the ones I have some control over.
Expectations (especially of the silent type) are premeditated resentments...g'head 'expect' all you like and be prepared for the resentment when they fail to live up to YOUR expectations.

My expectations of others are pretty minimal today.
I well and truly believe that most folks are dancing just as fast as they can.....even if it's not their overall 'best', it's the best they have at that given moment. People are human....fallible, gullible, full of their own defects of character. LORD knows I've enough defects of my own to focus on righting.....spending my time trying to right everyone elses would be silliness. (not that I didn't TRY 'silliness' cuz I did--and still can and do!) I like living free and easy.

And I liked the reminder(s) about acceptance and expectations. (they've come in multiple directions this week) I'd be wise to pay attention and take stock in what I'm doing. It would seem I've put an expectation or two out there. Easy enough to do, obviously.

Check to see my part in the situation, right what needs righted and accept/surrender that this is how it is today--WITH reason, even if I don't see/get to know the reason. And go about the business of being happy instead of letting someone/some circumstance determine that for me.

Isn't it wonderful how the messages get delivered in the most unusual places?

...ughhhhh.....

Somehow I knew I'd get my turn.

Sunday evening was NOT fun....yesterday was an improvement over Sunday. Face it, near anything would have been an improvement over Sunday.
And here it is Tuesday and I was thinkin' work might get to happen.

But when you're sweating sitting still, that's probably not a good sign.
That and I've barely touched my coffee--I can't make myself drink it.
Since when has drinking coffee been a chore?!

100.3--okay, so I have a bit of a temperature........

*sigh*
Okay......I'm definitely still sick.
Shoot.

I opened the closet.....

Oh, not THAT closet. I don't have skeletons in the closet anymore. There's a bit of dust, perhaps--but no skeletons. I learned a whole LOT about the power of skeletons in the closet--pass!!

But I did open the closet........the one in the guestroom that's suppose to hold 'off season' clothing. Ummmm...if I didn't open the closet--it wouldn't have held squat! LOL
It WAS scary opening the closet. For the past few months I've been pulling the door slightly open--and tossing. LOL
Hey--it worked! There were only a few times I had to repeat the action before shoving the door closed.
Things fell out. *shrugs*

Yesterday, I pulled the door open and stood back.....and watched the mounds (literally) of sacks tumble onto the carpet.
The Brit shook his head and exited the room. LOL
I, on the other hand, was elated to go through the bags one by one to discover treasures!

An hour later he tip-toed amidst the rubble...errr... piles of treasures... to bring me coffee, and promptly left--again shaking his head. LOL

Okay--so you can't see the top of the bed.
And the floor's an utter disaster.
And there's stuff all OVER the place!

But I'm done holiday shopping......'cept for a few bitty odds and ends.
And that's without ever entering a store to DO holiday shopping!!

*polishing nails and feeling smug*
AND the closet is empty.
Well....for the most part......
'Cept for those boxes that are holding birthday prezzies.
And a few random 'cool things' that I'm holding onto cuz I have WAY too much stuff to be wrapping up to give away......

LOL Which just means I have a start on next years holiday shopping already.
Small wonder he shakes his head, huh?

QOTW November 25

Do you drive the speed limit?

Of COURSE I drive the speed limit--uummmm....when other people are in the car and there are witnesses?
*looking around* Now......if it's just ME and there's a wide open stretch of highway........*looking around* I might put the pedal to the medal and go sailing really, really fast! Zoooooooooooooommmmmmmmmm!!!!

*wincing*
.....errrrr...ummmm.... of course I do the speed limit. I'm a good little citizen!

But have I ever mentioned I still lie on occasion? LOL

:-D

It smells like the holidays.....

Nope, it's not candles or cider or cookies or fudge--it's the baking chex mix. The whole house smells of it. (dunno if that's a good thing!)

And the lights are up....much to our surprise. Ever have one of those moments when you THINK you know what you're doing only to discover you don't have a clue? Yeah, well, we....errrr...*I* had multiple "those kind of moments' today. I knew how we ran the electrical cords (no we don't need a three plug adapter--and if we do, there's one in the basement!), I knew we had another strand of red lights in the basement cuz I unpacked all the lights(we have three more strands in the basement--really!!), and I knew we had those zippy tie thingies (nah....don't bother to grab some while you're at the hardware store--we have plenty).

The good news--it's not all bad being older....you don't have the energy to 'hide the body'. I'da been dead if the reverse were true! LOL

The lights are up!! The lights are up!!
(Okay......so we...ummm....*HIMSELF* went to the hardware store three times--)
The lights are up!! The lights are up!!!

And the chex mix is in the oven............stinkin' up the whole house.........

And the fella at the hardware store thought the Brit stood a good chance of getting off on "temporary insanity" -- IF they found the body.
;-)

A Fairy Good Reminder

A small group of friends sat in a room around a record player.
It was a heavy old thing, with parts that had to be operated by hand and only one speaker--nothing like a modern stereo at all, but more like an antique phonograph.
The record--a recording of their favorite music--was old, too, and scratched, its grooves worn smooth as a stone in some places.
The tone arm skipped and scratched, and the sound was tinny, hard on the ears.
Most of the friends squirmed in their seats as they listened, and several grumbled that it was impossible to hear the music with such inferior equipment.
But one of the group sat listening, her eyes closed, swaying to the music and humming softly to herself.
"How can you enjoy this?" the others asked.
She opened her eyes and said with a mysterious smile. "I am listening beyond the recording to the music I know is there!"

Flakes and bulbs.........

Keeping it simple......not quite my trademark.
Simple, yes.........small, no. Cuz if some is good, more is better--right? LOL
And just cuz himself assured me the photo program was 'talented' (he left out 'even if you're not'....he's smart like that....LOL), I checked to see just HOW talented it was.
It was!

Early Holiday greetings to you and yours!! ;-)

Happy Day After!!

I'd tell you the turkey's gone--that'd be a lie. We'll be eating turkey for a week. LOL If some is good--MORE is better. And I even stuck with a 12 pound turkey--so it's not like I went over the top (like I normally do....LOL).

Lovely time with the girl--we took turns answering calls from work after the meal, while we were bickering about who could put which decoration where on the tall Hannukah bush! The Brit seems to think there's something wrong with me because I landed on coloured glass bulbs and snowflakes ONLY this year on the tree/bush. Generally it's a hodgepodge and BUNCHES of everything. The girl and I put snowflakes on the windows, put in the flickering flame bulbs for the window 'candles' and got all puffed up when the Brit approved. LOL Methinks he approved because it wasn't him under that tree/bush tightening the bolts while the women were giggling and being all sortsa weird about the colour of underwear showing. LOL Don't ask! (btw--the girls were green.........the mom's--no show, of course!!)

We made the lights go on.
What few we have up at the moment...*sigh* The joys of long, unexpected hours! Ah well--we're making the neighbours look good, so I'm sure it's appreciated.
(more lights will happen this weekend--barring any unforseen work traumas!!)

But it was all good.
And we're officially in the holiday season.
No Black Friday for this woman. I was smarter than that and went into work where they pay me to deal with angry, frustrated, aggressive people.....LOL

Happy Day After!!

Turkey/Flu

There'd be humour in this--if the truth weren't smattered in there.

Yes--there's a turkey defrosting in the fridge. I'm assured it was all painless for the turkey. I lament every time I open the door........LOL.........and he feels bad! (GOOD boy!!)

Yes--I've just finished with the two pies for tomorrow. The girl will want pumpkin, the Brit will want cherry. *shrugs* I'm not that darn picky--anything with whipped cream will suffice!

And YES we've got the stuff for the stuffing, veggies (cuz himself will NOT be a party to green bean casserole), potatoes for roasting (cuz himself tells me they MUST be roasted.......knock your socks off, babe!!).........and relishes, assorted other 'stuff' for the meal.
We're SET!

I'll be spending the morning feeding kiddos who have no ability to visit family or no family to visit......trying to make the holiday a little less heavy(there's hope for that!).
And I'll supposedly be returning home around one to celebrate the holiday with the girl, the other other boy (not to be confused with the boy or the other boy....) and, if he doesn't blow up/burn down the house with all the cooking/baking etc...., the Brit.

OR--I could be going in to work in the morning and calling to wish the girl, the other other boy and the Brit the HAPPIEST of Thanksgivings ever......from the office.

Flu.
LOTS of flu.
I'm on my third call and my third attempt to make certain schedules are filled.
OVER the holiday.

I'm hoping for two things......that the calls are done for today and that *I* don't end up with the darn flu.
THAT would not be good.

*sigh*
I'd love a drama free holiday.
IS there such a thing? LOL

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Attitude Schmattitude!!

The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.--Martha Washington

It's another one of those 'choose your attitude' kinda moments, no doubt.

How come it always seems to be about that?!
(probably cuz I'm not getting the freaking lesson?!?)

*choosing my attitude*

Ohhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

:-)

The gobble wobble

ROFL!!

I couldn't help but share it.
Gobble till you wobble.....

I'm stealing that line for Thursday.

Learning to tell on myself

We hang onto secrets when we're unsure of ourselves and the role we're asked to play--secrets about our inner thoughts, our dreams and aspirations, our feared inadequacies.

Because we strive for perfection, assume it's achievable, and settle for no less in all our activities, we are haunted by our secret fears of not measuring up.
The more committed we become to a new way of living, the greater is our understanding of the fallacy of this old way of thinking. And as our awareness increases, the more accepting we become of our human frailty, and the less need we have to cover it up.

One of the more powerful gifts from sticking around -- has been the sometimes uncomfortable and always humbling experience of 'telling on myself'.
Now, 'telling on myself' wasn't exactly what I considered SMART.
People would know crud that they really didn't 'need' to know.
(people would know crud I didn't WANT them to know!!)
I didn't particularly LIKE being accountable for my actions.

All the glory and none of the responsibility seemed smarter and more attractive.

*looking around for witnesses*
STILL seems more attractive some moments!
Humility is NOT always one of my favorite things?

Introductions

You met Mr. Snowman.....
Meet Mrs. Snowman.
The Brit called her Eliza Doolittle forcryingoutloud!!
I'm thinkin' it's the hat? *shrugs*

Dunno that I'm impressed.
But I am done! LOL

At least with the snowmen/women........for the moment.
Not done with ornaments, of course.

Harold the Penguin has brothers, dontchaknow......
G-d help us all! LOL

If wishes were fishes......

I wish I was home again, at home in my heart again,
It’s been a long time since my heart talked to me;
Wastin’ my precious days, wishin’ my life away,
If wishes were fishes, we’d all cast nets in the sea.

And if wishes were fishes, I know where I’d be,
Casting my net in the dark rolling sea;
And if my net’s empty when it comes back to shore,
I’ll throw it away and go fishing no more.

And I wish I was young again, my song still to be sung again,
The sweet tunes of my life have gone sour and off key;
Writin’ my tired old rhymes, tryin’ to turn back time,
If wishes were fishes, we’d all cast nets in the sea.

I wish I could care again, reach out and share again,
Mend what’s been broken and let it run free;
The older I get, it seems the more wishin’ takes the place of dreams,
If wishes were fishes, we’d all cast nets in the sea.

And if wishes were fishes, I know where I’d be,
Casting my net in the dark rolling sea;
And if my net’s empty when it comes back to shore,
I’ll throw it away and go fishing no more.

Oh, that little box.....

"We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past, but by the love we're not extending in the present." -- Marianne Williamson

75 seconds......

What did I want?
What did I do to get it?
What did I end up with?

First step material--sometimes I curse treatment center psycho-babble B.S. Don't bother telling me things that aren't in The Book.
"Just don't drink!" "This is a selfish program."
Righhhhhhhhhtttttttttttttttt.........*checking the book* That ain't in there..........and I know why. LOL

That first step is all about bothering to get honest with outselves......cuz most of us haven't bothered, dontchaknow.
Every day I get to look at those same questions, take that same first step and remind myself of what it was like........least I start to give myself permission to go there again.
I have selective recall........I like to remember what I wanna remember.

Yesterday I shared something around the tables that was tried with me.........
It set me on a quest to prove myself capable and therefore, unlike the REST of 'em.

Deciding to 'just not drink' is like deciding to hold your breath for a minute and fifteen seconds--

It's rather entertaining. You start out all confident and cocky............and then you lose it.
No foolin'.......you can hear your brain in action.
And yesterday I'm watching a bunch of grown men nodding cuz they 'know' that brain activity well..........and they're holding their breath. LOL

Better they shoulda been asking themselves
What did I want?
What did I do to get it?
What did I end up with?

*humming*

I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything... and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

Let there be lights!

Yeah, yeah.......so it's not Thanksgiving and I have lights on.
*snicker*
I HAD to test 'em, dontchaknow!

He fusses with the outside--and I must say, he's doing a standup job of getting a bit done here, a bit done there.....
I'm fussing with the inside. (and this is without having any of the umpteen boxes himself has collected and stored in the basement storage room)
I decided I'd try the old 'candle in the window' light. *shrugs*
At this moment my thought on those is "egads the windows are dirty!!" LOL I'm holding out for those flickery lights cuz I think they'd be way cool (and they'd hide the dirt...LOL). He's liking what we have in 'em.
I'll win.........cuz I'm good like that! ;-)
Actually, we'll both win--cuz he WILL like the flickery candle lights. Much like the 'red painted study'--he doesn't know he likes it til it actually happens.

I have a 'few' (dozen) things to do inside for decorating....
But boxes come up on Thanksgiving. *rolling eyes* That's where all the 'inside stuff' IS....
HE says that bringing things upstairs OUT of the boxes to put outside------doesn't count.
(Strange--it counts when it's Halloween..............whatsupwiththat?!)
I say he makes it up as he goes......but he makes me really good coffee and I'd hate to stop that from happening....LOL Soooooooooo....

Thursday's the offical 'lights on' night!
We have wreaths and lights and garland and more wreaths and more lights and snowflakes and STUFF that still needs to find its way outside.

One piece at a time of course.
Cuz EVERYbody knows boxes aren't 'allowed' upstairs til Thanksgiving.
Ya KNOW I'll remind him of that as he's trudging up and down those stairs for the gazillionth time! LOL
I'm sure he'll appreciate it......

Putting My Cards On The Table........

Yep--and we're finishing up the stamped envelopes.....well, HE is.....cuz I have one speed. LOL

QOTW November 19

What's one of the hardest secrets you've had to keep?

There's a difference for me between keeping another's confidence and keeping a 'secret'.
I get to hear a whole lot of 'confidences'--I hear a lot of fifth steps and I do what I do for a 'living'.

Sometimes those 'confidences' muddle my 'stuff'.
I get to share that, in confidence, with wisepersoninmylife who's heard plenty of fifth steps himself. And so it goes----on and on and on....

A hard secret I had to keep?
Ya know, my initial thought was when my father told me he'd been diagnosed with lung cancer. He'd asked me not to share that with anyone. It was a tough thing to carry around and a tougher thing to honour that request.
It's a 'secret' I carried for almost thirty years.
He died from a massive coranary almost thirty years ago-- as far as the world is concerned.

And here I am putting it in black and white...............
And here I am...........thinking...........

It's not my fault...........

*sigh*

I sooooo love Nat King Cole's style.

And this--is NOT my fault.

A little birdie started it--and the Brit, unknowingly, fostered it.

I got home to lights on the house's eves.
Did I mention there's an eight foot tree in our back yard that fades in and out, red to green, to red and green and back to green?
Well, there is.....Himself discovered it last weekend and found it's home for the holidays.
Only--of course--we can't turn it on.

Lights in the back yard, lights along the house--and Nat King Cole stucksongitus.
Could be worse......could be Alvin and the Chipmunks stuck in my brain!

We can't turn ON the lights, mindyou.
*nodding* That's the rule!!
*rolling eyes*

Did I construct a wreath for our front door this evening?
Yep.
Did I put ivy over the inside window in the livingroom and weave lights in it?
Yep.
Did I 'experiment' with those candle lights for the very same windows in the livingroom?
*nodding*
And did I hang those '7 function' lights in the study and set them to fade in and fade out?
OH yes!!

Now I ask--how is one suppose to know they 'look alright' without turning the lights ON?

*impish grin*

Have I ever mentioned I run with scissors, too?

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
Jack Frost nipping at your nose
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir
And folks dressed up like Eskimos
Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe
Help to make the season bright
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight

They know that Santa's on his way
He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh
And every mother's child is gonna spy
To see if reindeer really know how to fly
And So I'm offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two
Although it's been said many times, many ways
Merry Christmas to you

Mirror war

We have a hefty mirror in our bathroom.
And I have these nifty markers that write on glass.

I got 'em specially for the bathroom mirror--bit quirky as I might be, I decorate the mirror. LOL Oh, most times it's with gel thingies and it's mostly for the seasonal holidays. Otherwise it's a plain ol' mirror.
HEAVEN forbid that it stay that way.
Oh gosh.......I also hang seasonal lights from the drop-lights in the bathroom.
Geeze........sounds scary when I put it in black and white.

I can't see the mirror for the writing at the moment. NOT that I spend a whole lot of time in front of the darn mirror in the first place.
But I'm wondering how the poor Brit shaves.

Honestly--it started as my feeble attempt to 'decorate' for Turkey Day.
Face it....anything I do after Halloween is going to FEEL feeble...LOL

So, I made it look how it really IS. (that's what I'm suppose to be practicing, according to wisepersoninmylife! I'm blaming HIM!!)

Yep--out came the markers and a "FREE THE TURKEY" got written..........and I made a weak attempt to draw a stick turkey (don't ask..........LOL) on the mirror.
It's gone downhill from there.

First of all--it took the Brit over 24 hours to take notice of the poorly drawn bird and the proclamation. When he did take note, of course I had to play off his neurosis and casually mention that it'd been there for a chunk of time...but 'thanks for noticing'.
ROFL

He's neurotic--it's good to mess with him and keep him in practice!! LOL

The end result of his neurosis?........I can't see the freaking mirror.

Eat the turkey!
DON'T Eat the turkey.
Don't be a chicken--don't duck tradition or your goose will be cooked. (he's wordy!)
'FOWL!!!'
No yolk, we'll be dining on turkey.

*chuckling*
He's too fun to mess with.

The little box is smart

Do you have the patience to wait til your mud settles and the water is clear? til the right action arises by itself?--Tao Te Ching




Right of the top of the pile.
Sounds right after last night's meltdown.
Cuz there was a meltdown......all it took was the pictures of two babies and a boydad.

The twins

Cute little buggers, huh?

They didn't ASK Ms. Overachiever...

It was some kinda day yesterday.......

I'm now on plan "M" at the worksite. I keep this up, I'll exhaust the alphabet! LOL Things out of my control keep happening to mess with my plans, dangit!
And a quick lesson smattered in there to remind me that it's NOT all about me--would be the gal who's now taken family medical leave to care for her ailing father. I managed to do what was required to take care of her and her family--plans can wait and did. NOW I'm back to planning plan "M". LOL Wheeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

In the meantime, I went to my infamous Tuesday meeting with the elbow rubbers. *hanging head* I MUST do something with that attitude--it's silliness on my part!
And I came home offended, hurt or relieved last night. I still haven't quite 'figured it out'. LOL

I came home a grandmother.
I came home being referred to as "an overachiever".

The Brit shook his head and patted me on the head when I told him of the day.
He can be a bit patronizing some moments.....LOL

I got glared at by the other folks around the administrative tables. I would seem my executed plan "L" for delivery of services reaped a nice financial reward in the first week--nicer than programs twice our size--which led to me to being glared at and being labled an 'overachiever'. LOL My only response: The kiddos and families deserve the best shot we can give them, dontchathink?
I meant it. We oughta be busting our rears to give it to them--we're talking people's lives.

I also didn't get asked.
Therein lies the silly question I've been tossing around in my head.

I didn't get ASKED to head a new treatment program a few hours north of this little town with almost twice the student population.
This is where the Brit started looking a bit panicked stricken.
Twice the population--three people around the administrative table had gotten an 'invitation' to consider the position.
None of them took the agency up on the invitation.
But I wasn't asked.

LOL So what's wrong with me?

I had answers to that! (cuz I was hellbent in 'figuring it out'....LOL)
Too mouthy.
Too belligerent.
Too much NOT into following directions and NOT being assimilated into an 'elbow rubber'.
Too crappy in the area of budgets. (I sorta ruled that out when himself reminded me I was JUST called an 'overachiever'--....LOL)
Too centered on kids we serve and not centered enough on 'agency'.
Too determined to wear Levi's on Fridays? LOL
Can you tell my brain was on overdrive?

But I wasn't asked.
I told himself I wasn't sure if I was offended, hurt or relieved.
He asked if I would have taken the position, HAD I been asked.

Well.....no.......

I like my little corner of the world.
G-d let's me know when it's time to move and He hasn't tapped me on the shoulder for this one---that I know of. LOL

This is when the Brit started scratching his head.

Well.....they didn't ASK!
He suggested that *I* ask.

Well, shoot.
That's too freaking simple! LOL
And what if it's about the Levi's on Friday!!???!!

*frowning*
If it's about the Levi's on Friday--they can kiss my butt!!
ROFL!!!!!!!!!

As of 9:01 and 9:02am

It's official!

Two healthy baby boys...

Skylar Donald
9:01 AM
6 pounds 5 ounces
20"

Shane Brandon
9:02 AM
5 pounds 15 ounces
19"

Welcome to the world little fellas...........

Duty bound

They say I have A.D.D. but they just don't understand.

OH......LOOK!! A chicken!!!!!

This little 'tee-hee' would be what set the Brit to chuckling nonstop for better than an hour last evening. He's threatened to purchase a t-shirt with the chuckle material on it. I say if he locates a pin-it's mine!

I have this......errrr....habit of being observant during a car ride. *shrugs* I'm not driving--and I'm bored, okay?

He commences with conversating--and I'm following along, for the most part--until I spy something noteworthy. And there's a whole lot of noteworthy stuff out there to report on!
It's my duty to report such things as dead deers in the middle of some cornfield(poor Bambi's motherless......ohhhhh.....), hawks sitting on tree branches (they're vegan hawks, of course--OUR hawks don't eat meat), some smartie who's got holiday decorations up before us(the audacity!!), and shriveled up jack-o-lanterns on porch steps cuz folks are away on some Carribbean cruise they won off the radio(why ELSE would they still be on the porchsteps I ask!!), and then there are those questions about important stuff popping into my head that I have a need to ask.......
"What's 'and Bob's your uncle' mean? Did you know you talk funny?"
It doesn't seem to matter what kind of conversation he's into--I'm still going to 'report' and 'ask' cuz it's my duty.
That doesn't make me A.D.D. for goodness sakes!!

It does, however, make me annoying.......
That was the plan!! LOLOL

Cutting deals and choices......

One of the most frustrating stages of acceptance is the bargaining stage.
In denial, there is bliss. In anger, there is some sense of power.
In barraging, we vacillate between believing there is something we can do to change things and realizing there isn't.
We may get our hopes up again and again, only to have them dashed.
Many of us have turned ourselves inside out to try to negotiate with reality. Some of us have done things that appear absurd, in retrospect, once we've achieved acceptance.
We do big, small, and in between things, sometimes-crazy things, to ward off, stop, or stall the pain involved with accepting reality.

There is no substitute for accepting reality.
That's our goal.
But along the way, we may try to strike a deal.
Recognize our attempts at bargaining for what they are - a part of the grief process .
And remember there is no substitute for accepting reality, no matter how many deals we cut.

Gee--thanks reading fairies!
*rolling eyes*

Didn't help one ounce to toss the book and pick up another:

How awesome is our power, personally, to choose our attitudes and our responses to any situation, to every situation. We will feel only how we choose to feel, no matter the circumstance.
Happiness is as free an option as sorrow.

Perceiving our challenges as opportunities for positive growth rather than stumbling blocks in our path to success is a choice readily available. What is inevitable--a matter over which we have no choice--is that difficult times, painful experiences will visit us. We can, however, celebrate their blessings on us and the personal growth they inspire.

We do not always feel confident about our choices, even when we accept the responsibility for making them. How lucky for us that we have the freedom to choose, to feel, and to act.

We're having babies tomorrow........

Two of 'em. Twins....... And tomorrow I'll get to become a grandmother.

This was the topic whilest we were coming back from doctor's appointments.
Oh yeah........doctors.
Good news -- not a whole lot of change in my vision in the past two years. Weird news--the doc had an aunt who had A.L.L. and is celebrating her tenth year of remission....eerily enough, she had the same oncologist I had. The doc insisted I come back next year cuz one of the places that leukemia shows up first....is in the eyes. (so he says...LOL.......I'm sure it's great for business? LOL) That's all the Brit needed to hear. I shoulda left him in the office!! He made a return appointment for a year from now......oy........
And.........Blood tests got done before the eye doctor. It's just that time of year.
Maybe that lent to the conversation about babies happening.
Maybe it was the call from the girl who was on her way to be WITH the boy for the delivery of the twins.
I'm having a 'feeling'--and it's NOT my favorite 'feeling' to be dealing in!!

8a.m. tomorrow babies are going to happen.

So we talk in the car about what roles we're going to play.

Is this where I say HECK IF I KNOW?!
I don't have a clue. And I told him that.
He was pretty implicit in what he wasn't 'okay with'........I found myself defending the indefensible. I'm supposing parent units will do that.
No, I haven't forgotten about the chaos and danger that lurked in every corner while the boy was out practicing his addiction. It was my safety that was compromised. Himself helped me plaster the walls that got punched and kicked in......he's got a sense of what it was like. He's got a clear sense of what he's not willing to risk.

Living out of the house will mean the boy won't see things as he used to. (this was my weak arguement with a smidgeon of truth to it) Truth IS--he's still using and seeing no problem with it. Truth IS he's paid the time for his crimes and believes that oughta be enough....the past is the past -- get over it.
"I'm sorry I couldn't make you proud of me" isn't an apology for breaking into this home or the homes of other people to steal and pawn their belongings--people who were nothing but kindly to him.... It's a refocus and a manipulation to get off the hook.
It doesn't undo damage........it's not a show of responsibility and remorse.
The world still owes him.

Yep, he's held down a full time job.
So do a whole lot of addicts.....including the boy's father--who, btw, just recently was dismissed from his job. Addicts lose jobs too. Some lose jobs faster than others.

And at 8a.m. tomorrow, babies are going to happen.

Ya know....I've probably overlooked how huge today's appointments were in and of themselves.
I know how huge the baby thing 'feels'.
This isn't exactly what I dreamt of.
But then none of this is what I dreamt of.

Babies are still going to happen tomorrow.
And I'll officially become a grandparent.
And I'll get to make one decision at a time as to what I'm willing and not willing to do.
One decision at a time........

Remember this one, Mel.........

The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he could never be found out.--Thomas Macaulay

QOTW 11/12

Where do you get your news from?

WHAT news?

Heck, things happen all the time and I don't know about 'em.

I just learned that they found Hussain guilty and plan to hang him for his crimes. My news source--The Brit.
He faithfully checks out the BBC website and, on occasion, Yahoo. We do get a Sunday paper--I go straight for the crossword if I even see the paper...not the comics mind you, the crossword. Even the comics are leaving a lot to be desired nowadays. Sheeeeeeshhhh, I sound like an old person, huh? LOL

I stopped watching the news eons ago. Too sad, too focused on the 'ucky' stuff in the world. I don't like what the world has decided is 'newsworthy'. Frankly, it's felt like an ambulance chasing system to me.

*shrugs*
No television news broadcast at regular times, no newspaper--no web newsite...nuffin'.....
Apparently I like being oblivious....LOL

Solitaire Anyone?

<---- This is suppose to be what happens when you actually WIN a stupid game of solitare. Ask me if I've actually SEEN the game do that lately?

Have I ever mentioned that I'm a tried and true addict?
Well, I am.
And I have an addict's brain.

Which is why I have a sister who drug me out of the Tahoe casino after my first nickel win on the slot machine. Bells and sirens went off, money got puked out and my eyes immediately glazed over and drooling happened. LOL Smart sister.......I've not been back to a casino again! If nickels can solicit that kind of reaction--think of what quarters could do!!

I don't gamble.

No one told me you could set the stupid solitaire game to keep tally.
I messed with the options trying to get new card designs and set the options to keep track of how much 'money' (pretend money that it may be) I'd spent and/or won.

Consider me the high loser. LOL Yep--I wouldn't stop playing because I was going to "WIN the money back, dangit!"
Only, I couldn't seem to win the money back--and lost more.
Normal brains would tell you to shut off the game, clear the total and try again.........but ohhhh noooooo......not this brain. Stop playing--or CHEAT!!

Nope.......
"WIN the money back--cuz I AM going to win!!"

Midnight last night ....and I'm STILL trying to win the money back.
Nope.
I didn't win the money back.
I'm embarrassed to give up what time I finally turned the stupid computer off.
And yep--I needed to turn OFF the solitaire game and step AWAY from the computer. LOL

The Brit thinks it's funny--Mr. "He who must cheat" cuz HE got that little game to shuffle the cards out rapid fire like when HE'D won............multiple times............ The little bugger had $580 dollars when he went to bed.

I--on the other hand-- had a deficit of over a thousand........

I'm thinkin' a "remove program" moment is in order...LOL

DONE!!

All it took was a bit of snow-- It's still covering the yard this morning.
I knew I shoulda made myself get those outside plant pots taken care of last weekend, dangit.......*sigh*

Hot chocolate happened (for himself--cuz my quota is two of those a year...LOL) and I pulled out 'the box'.
It's a clear box, chalked full of 'stuff' for card making.
Say 'bye bye' to the top of the breakfast table!

WE made holiday cards.
Himself with the stamper and ink, cuz I'm not a centered kinda person....LOL (Literally and figuratively--I'll confess!!)
And me with the 'pretties' that I placed and replaced and placed again on the stamped card MULTIPLE times before introducing them to the glue.

Yeah, I'm a bit........ummmm...choosey about that stuff. (he says 'anal'..LOL)

He, on the other hand, is convinced folks might look at 'em once or twice before they get shoved back into the envelope and tossed.

My response?
Get the envelopes so we can make them equally pretty! :-)
This is when he put his head on the table and muttered a prayer.......leastwise I THINK it was a prayer......

I got eight cards done!! :-)

He, on the other hand--stamped fourty cards and put pretties on the other 32..........AND stamped all the envelopes.


AND he stole the Rudolph pretty!!
Just for THAT--he can address all the pretty envelopes! HA!!

Little happy snowflakes....

Can you see how happy they are?
They're landing in dancing parties all over our lawn.
Of course, it was suppose to miss us and go north--HA! Just goes to show what all the weather predicting equipment on the planet is worth! (not that I'd wanna be without it!!)

Happy little snowflakes!
They're having a party and I'm celebrating with 'em.
I'm having a happy moment in the house away from all the insane drivers who forget that snow happens every year.
And I'm bonding--with my snowman bucket!
Cuz even if we don't get a chance to assemble Mr. Snowman it's cool having happy snowflakes swirling around.

It's snowing!! It's snowing!!!!
:-)
HAPPY snowflakes!!!!
Happy ME!!

Plan plans.......

Plan plans, not results.

Understanding that we do not have the power to control the results of our plans is an important step for accepting reality. We make plans, based on the information, experience, and insight which we have available to us. The outcome of our plans, however, is dependent on circumstances, which are frequently beyond our control.

Ack!
Plan PLANS, not results.

Well, where was THIS friendly reminder when I was out planning results?!

And just to accentuate the lesson, did You have to make arrangements for one of my key providers to have a family crisis that would mean a medical leave of absence?

Ya know.......the good news is I spent yesterday attending to what I could do to help her, making calls--slowing her down so her immediate answer of "I need to quit." became a tearful moment of realization that she didn't 'need' to quit--she just needs to not worry if she'll have a job when the dust settles so she can go take care of her father right now.

I'll say more prayers for the gal and her dad cuz that's what I do.
And I'll even be kinder to the reading fairies. (today.......LOL)

I think I'll keep 'im....

It's not exactly a straight journey to get into my heart. It takes all sorts of squiggling and maneuvering. But once you're in there--it's not easy to find your way out, either. I'm okay with me being made that way......but I gotta wonder about the rest of the world finding peace with it. LOL

The poor Brit.
He's tolerated a whole lot the past four weeks with the late hours, working from home, running warp speed with my hair on fire.... And he's been nothing short of wonderful.
Coffee mysteriously appears in front of me. (honestly, sometimes I'm not conscious I've drank the darn things) The cup's generally accompanied by a ruffling of the hair or a kiss to the head as he says something to me that's GENERALLY nondescript--and I'm real responsive to that, lemme tell ya. LOL "Mmmm...yep, we can do that" was what apparently came from my mouth last night.
Apparently the question was: "Shall I order that train I showed you the other evening?"
I wonder if that was planned, dangit!

We have a train on the way. LOL

Last Friday he made a point of 'kidnapping' me. Off we went for dinner--and I made my 'three shops and we're done' idea of 'shopping'. (which took all of an hour, btw)
Monday he was trying to stuff food into me at eight p.m. when I finally recognized the time function on the computer. PASS.....but it's the though that counts, eh?

He tosses zingers at me when I'm grumbling and makes me laugh.
He makes his 'puter play sappy songs for me when I finally do stretch and take a couple minute breather. I'm talking 'the good stuff'...'ancient' by the girls' definition--stuff that makes me smile cuz it's wonderful. Billy Holiday/Frank Sinatra stuff no less.....
He's shoved me in the general direction of bed when it gets too late.
And he only grumbles when the phone rings-- LOL --when he warns people they could be threatening his wellbeing by making him interrupt my 'progress'.

He even finds the 0.5 mechanical pencil lead BEFORE I start disassembling the desk. Cuz he's that darn good.

Four weeks of this and he's maintained rather well.
Hmmm...maybe I'll keep him!

I'll be seeing you;
In all the old, familiar places;
That this heart of mine embraces;
All day through.

In that small cafe;
The park across the way;
The childrens carousel;
The chestnut tree;
The wishing well.

I'll be seeing you;
In every lovely, summers day;
In everything thats bright and gay;
I'll always think of you that way;
I'll find you in the morning sun;
And when the night is new;
I'll be looking at the moon;
But I'll be seeing you.

Hole digging 101

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou 'canst not then be false to any man.--William Shakespeare


To thine own self be true.
A grounding statement for those of us who get caught up in the storm of needs and feelings of others.

Sometimes, the demands of other people and our confused expectations of ourselves - the messages about our responsibilities toward others - can create a tremendous, complicated mess.
We can even convince ourselves that people pleasing, going against our nature and not being honest, is the kind, honest thing to do!

Not true.
Simplify.
Back to basics.
Let go of the confusion.
By honoring and respecting ourselves, we will be true to those around us, even if we displease them momentarily.
To thine own self be true.

Did I read this reading this morning?
Nope.
OUGHT to I have read it?
Yep.
Would it have helped me be centered in what needed done today.
*hanging head sheepishly*
............yes.............

*making pfffttt-ing noises*
Sometimes I am my OWN worst enemy!

Keep diggin'........just keep diggin'......

It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
PLEASE assure me that
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.

HOLY buckets......JUST when you think you have your i's dotted and your t's crossed--someone changes the alphabet..............

It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
PLEASE assure me that
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.

**SCORE for the Brit who pointed out so lovingly:
"Quite right...it very well could get worse!"
*rolling eyes*

The Turkey Clan

It never fails.
I feel bad for the turkey.
Now, not that it doesn't stop me from enjoying a turkey dinner--however, the turkey we end up eating is bred for the sole purpose of providing us our Thanksgiving meal.
(HOW that rationalized out as 'better/good', I have no clue. LOL)
I just know what we're dining on is NOT from the turkey family that lives up the road.

The Brit tells me he'll be getting a turkey for Thanksgiving. Apparently it's a 'gift' from his employer.

Uh huh........
I'm counting the turkeys that live up the road from us.
If one of 'em's missing---BIG trouble!!

From left to right...Thelma, Teresa, Tilly, Thomas, Teddy, Tracy, Tabitha, Tammy, Terrell and Ralph Turkey.

If you name 'em, you gotta keep 'em dontchaknow! :-)

Nosy reading fairies butting into my LIFE again!!!!

Of course fortune has its part in human affairs, but conduct is really much more important.--Jeanne Detourbey

I didn't need to go any further in that morning reading....darn fairies......
Conduct.
As in 'what I DO', 'how I ACT'......

ACT is a good word. I don't have to FEEL like being 'loving' to ACT loving. I don't have to FEEL like being 'kindly' to ACT kindly. "Since when does what you FEEL like doing have anything to do with what you NEED to be doing?"

I know the difference between 'right actions' and 'wrong actions'. I have a little niggling voice inside me that gives me a clue. I have that 'ack...........THAT was wrong Mel' 'feel' that comes when I botch something up.
I also have a tendency to want to be 'right'! Even when I've clearly heard/felt that 'wrong actions ya dork!' message.

Everyone of the people that work with me has been affected by the changes that I've spent eons of time structuring. Me, them.......the kiddos, their families..... Of course everyone isn't going to feel warm and fuzzy about it.
My first thought doesn't need to be defensive: "Don't you realize how much work I put INTO this, you ungrateful snot!! How egocentric to make it all about YOUYOUYOU!!" LOL
(of course, it's all about MEMEME dontchaknow! LOL)

The sure fire way to failure is to try to please everyone, right? (that was here not that long ago.....I shoulda tossed the reading book out when it showed up there! LOL)

That doesn't mean I grab that and make it my excuse to be RIGHT.

When someone points out the error/downfall of the change--THEY could be right!!
Fact is, one gal is.......and I got defensive. (go figure!) Instead of hearing her and tweaking the plan to make it 'right'......I rationalized how MY plan was going to have to suffice. LOL The ONLY thing I was missing was that "so get over yourself!" remark.
*sigh*
I can be such a butt some moments. LOL

Right conduct is never a mystery to us. We may not always choose to do it, but we never fail to know what should be done.
I will trust my conscience to be my guide.

Nosy reading fairies..........hmmpf!
Stupid conscience. LOL

Shine on......(aka tonight's moon)

I'm being followed by a moon shadow
moon shadow-moon shadow
leaping and hopping on a moon shadowmoon
shadow-moon shadow

and if I ever lose my hands
lose my plough,
lose my landoh,
if I ever lose my hands
oh, if...I won’t have to work no more

and if I ever lose my eyes
If my colours all run dry
yes, if I ever lose my eyes
oh if …I won't have to cry no more.

yes, I'm being followed by a moon shadow
moon shadow - moon shadow
leaping and hopping on a moon shadow
moon shadow - moon shadow

and if I ever lose my legs
I won't moan and I won't beg
oh if I ever lose my legs
oh if...I won't have to walk no more

And if I ever lose my mouth
all my teeth, north and south
yes, if I ever lose my mouth
oh if...I won't have to talk...

Did it take long to find me
I ask the faithful light
Ooh did it take long to find me
And are you going to stay the night

I'm being followed by a moon shadow
moon shadow - moon shadow
leaping and hopping on a moon shadow
moon shadow - moon shadow
moon shadow - moon shadow
moon shadow - moon shadow

What--you didn't really think I'd land on "Shine On Harvest Moon", did ya?!?
LOL

Moneymoneymoney........

*sigh*
I don't like money.
I don't balance a checkbook.
I have this internal warning that goes off when it 'feels' like I've spent my share.
I call it good to go...I tell myself 'no more spending' and I just don't bother to pay any more attention to it...until the next paycheck. LOL That's my system. It's worked for me for years.

I also have/had a trust fund that was managed by a trust officer.
My step-mother established one for me and didn't want me dealing with the pressures from other 'family' who might think it was 'unfair' or that they were 'entitled'(strange how money does that, eh?)--she never had children and I was 'her daughter' because *I* said so! The kiddos were HER grandkids because SHE said so.

Truthfully, I've never really 'worried' about finances. I had this 'pot' to draw from should I need major help...and with the years of cancers/treatments/doctor bills--it was a blessing to have that trust to draw from.
Honestly--it was enough to show up to do the deal with the oncologists without having to worry about how in the world I was going to pay for chemotherapy at thousands of dollars a visit!
It helped when it came to putting kiddos through school......
I never 'relied' on it to make ends meet, day to day. But if it hadn't been there--I would have been in BIG financial trouble.
HUGE financial trouble.............

The letter came from the trust officer on Friday. I didn't bother to open it--I was too darn 'braindead' from work and frankly, I thought it was just another report from the trust officer on the status of the account.
Nope.........NOT the case when I read the letter yesterday.

She wants to close out the trust fund and hand the money over to me--and distribute some to the kiddos.........if that's okay with me and the kiddos. She'd be drawing from the principle to pay the fees for managing the trust.....apparently that's something they don't like to do. *shrugs* All I know is I'm suppose to think about it and let her know.

*thinking*
I don't like this........LOL
Makes me nervous.... I toyed with sticking the letter in file thirteen so I could pretend I never got it! I figured she's just ring the house.....better to deal in the realities and stop 'faffing about' (as the Brit so lovingly puts it! LOL)

I talked with the girl yesterday and asked if she was where she needed to be to manage a chunk of money. She got all wide eyed, got quiet and asked if she could think about it. LOL NOT the average response. You'da thought she'd have been picking out that shiny car in short order.
She called me last night and told me she thought she'd be okay--as long as she could get some guidance. Wow.........she's grown up a whole lot!
As for the guidance.......Don't look in THIS direction! LOL But I'll help her find some.

And then there's the boy with the twins on the way.....who, undoubtedly could use some financial assistance. If he didn't use it for one big party that is...... I asked the girl to have him ring me. He did.
"Sure--what do I have to do?"
I worry what he'll actually do with it.
I guess that's not mine to decide, huh?
Maybe I need to stay grateful that we're here TODAY as opposed to two years ago......

And me?
Heck if I know.....
I've been fretting about how to get two kiddos' heads wrapped around it...........well, more like I was fretting about how to get the girls' head wrapped around it.

ACK.
And NONE of this addresses the sadness for not having my step-mother in my life or in the lives of the kiddos..........

Another thought.....

Perhaps there is nothing to figure out after all;
perhaps we only need to wake up.

Thomas Merton

Perhaps this is why wisepersoninmylife cringes when I tell him I need to 'figure it out'. LOL

All work and no play........

"You work too much."

Well, thanks very much for noticing--I have a whole bucketload of responsibilities and we're not talking widgets, we're talking peoples' lives.

"You still work too much. Wanna tell me about last weeks work week?"

Oh good G-D---NO....of all the weeks to pick, let's not pick LAST week!
(or the week prior, or the week prior to that.......OR that week prior to the week that was prior to the week prior.....LOL)

This got me the all knowing shrug.
"Yup, you work too much."

Okay--perhaps I work too much....it's been a tad nutz with all the changes in funding/budget/staffing roles and responsibilities.
If not me (since it IS my responsibility!) then who?

"The supervisors under you? You do hire capable people, right? And you do pay them decent money, correct?"

I locked my lips--seemed the right thing to do.

"Where ya going from here?"

Shoot.
I need to work harder on those deception skills. I used to be darn good at 'em!

"....Work, huh?"

Explaining about the family day activities and the importance of showing up--didn't seem to carry a whole lot of weight.

"You don't want your people to fill that role with the families?"

I need superglue for the lips--cuz it didn't matter what I said, I could hear how lame it sounded. LOL Maybe cotton for the ears woulda been a better choice?

"You just keep running it til the wheels fall off, Mel. One way or another, you'll get a break from all that work. Either you'll take it or G-d'll make arrangments. By the way........How's that bronchitus doing?"

*grumbling*
He might be right, but I don't have to LIKE IT!

QOTW 11/5/06

Four things you remember your parent(s) repeatedly telling you:

Uh oh......LOL

I remember being told "NO" a whole lot....that oughta count....

*"Do as I say, not as I do." Not real helpful, but there you have it. And of course, I wasn't going to BECOME my father by doing what he did--cuz I was slicker, smarter, cooler dontchaknow.......

*"If you don't like the weather--stick around for an hour. It'll change." Okay, the dad was right on that one. Iowa weather IS like that!

*"That's about as useless as tits on a boar." *chuckling* Afraid to say, that saying still comes outta my mouth. It warrants a few strange looks now and then. The Brit whaps me when he hears that sentence starting up......LOL

*"You're eye's will get stuck if you keep doing that." HA!! I keep doing that and they're STILL not stuck.....so pffffffffffftttttttttttttt!!!!!
Oh! And "You'll strain your eyes from reading in the dark." HA to that, too!! Proven fact that concentration is improved when people read in a dimly lit room....that's if you don't fall asleep. LOLOL

Shoot.....too bad it was limited to four.......LOL

Little box thought

I do not have to believe.
I know!

C.G. Jung