Reminder for Today

Acceptance is the acknowledgment of the inherent perfection in every person, situation and experience regardless of how difficult or challenging it may appear or feel. 

Acceptance does not depend or rely upon what is going on externally. It is an internal state of awareness and being. 

Acceptance of others as doing the best they can, regardless of what they do or how they do it, eliminates judgment. In order to come to a place of acceptance, you must be willing to relinquish your position (e.g. being right, what is fair, what you should or should not do, etc.)

Dusting

Teach this triple truth to all: 

A generous heart, kind speech, and a life of service and compassion are the things which renew humanity.

The Buddha

Mr. I-was-here-first. :-/

Learning curve

I know what a "syntax" is!!
And I know the formula for doing averages!!
AND I know how to do the thingamabob that figures out "less than but greater than".
I was feeling kinda dumb, trying to figure out how that training was two hours in length when it took me better than half a day to do the first four (outta ten!!) courses  And then I figured out it just doesn't matter.  I'm learning and that's what matters.  I'm doing something with my idle time that's productive and helpful to the position I'm in.

Of course when I logged out I discovered it's a two DAY course...kinda puffed up my ego a bit.  LOL. At least momentarily.
Until himself told me to tell him HOW to do a function that I couldn't answer....but that's 2 chapters away!!
...k...not really...but my cheat sheet is at the cube farm and I didn't feel like telling the truth.
K. I WILL!
After dinner maybe.....

Fairy Thought

....the possibility of making an error should never,

ever stop you from doing anything.

Don't ever be afraid of "not getting it right." In truth,

there is no "right" way of doing anything...there is only

the way you are doing it. So go ahead. Do it.

Nothing wonderful has ever been accomplished by

anyone who was worried sick about it not being

wonderful.

Reminder for the Day

Never cut with a knife what you can cut with a spoon.

There are very few good reasons to sharply criticize anyone,

least of all your idea that you know a "better way."

Continual critical comments with an edge can deeply

undercut confidence in a loved one -- and isn't that

the last thing you would want to do?

The late bloomers

Wreckage

....k...there's a hole in one of my four matching planters.
There's a hole in my birdie feeder.
The air conditioner looks like it was pelted by rocks going 50 miles an hour....close....ice chunks are sorta like rocks...
There's a man coming to look over the house.  Himself can handle it while I'm at work.
There's no way the roof got through that experience unscathed.
*sigh*

I'd whine about not wanting another new roof thanks to hail....but there are worse things.

And I'll try to remain grateful.
But I don't wanna haffta have a new roof.
I just mentioned to himself that I finally didn't find any roofing nails when I weeded the (now destroyed) flower garden.
Ah well....new plants, new roof, new birdie feeder....it's all good!
(Funny....it doesn't FEEL good.....)

Today's Fairy Reading

Every human being has, like Socrates, an attendant spirit; and wise are they who obey its signals. If it does not always tell us what to do, it always cautions us what not to do.

—Lydia M. Child

Our Spirit is our inner guide. And our Spirit never, never, gives us wrong directions. Because we're human, it's all too easy to deny the voice from within. Some call it conscience. And our behavior, maybe frequently, maybe occasionally, belies what our conscience knows is right. We suffer for it.

We are trying to be healthy, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Each day we can make progress. With each action we take, we have a choice. Our Spirit, our conscience, should be consulted. Right choices make for right actions that will emotionally and spiritually benefit us and the other persons close to us.

It's comforting to rely on the inner voice. It assures us we're never alone. No decision has to be made alone. No wrong action need ever be taken. A sense of security accompanies the partnership between each of us and our Spirit.

I will let the partnership work for me today.

Awakening

The answer to the question

The quietness of morning's is a good thing.
This morning it was patio time, watching the oriel suck up grape jelly and coming to that point of small-ness by ego crushing gratitude.

This weekend I got asked if I my marriage was what I expected it to be by an, obviously, unhappy woman.
I had to pause--no one has ever asked me that question.
But I did find my answer.

I went into this arrangement with two expectations.
One, was that I'd be burying him--or, he'd be burying me.
I was sure of that expectation.  This wasn't some fairy-tale delusion.

The other expectation I had was that I would love the man exactly as I wanted to.
And he'd get a shot at doing that, too--daily...every day......until that first expectation happened.

Now, I don't do loving jazz perfectly.  Some days I do it better than others.
But I'm not in charge of anything but how I decide I'm going to love him, today.

It's got to be that simple for me.  It's a check point I can come back to, time and time again.
And that expectation is on me--the only thing I can control in this relationship.

I'm feeling right sized and grateful.  Not because I revisited the bottom line in this relationship--but because he does a much better job than I in the loving department.

I think I'll take him in his cuppa coffee, attack him with the stuffies from the headboard and remind him how lucky he is to have me.  *laughing!!!*

The Graduate

TFTD

Intimacy

We can let ourselves be close to people.

Many of us have deeply ingrained patterns for sabotaging relationships. Some of us may instinctively terminate a relationship once it moves to a certain level of closeness and intimacy.

When we start to feel close to someone, we may zero in on one of the person's character defects, and then make it so big it's all we can see. We may withdraw, or push the person away to create distance. We may start criticizing the other person, a behavior sure to create distance.

We may start trying to control the person, a behavior that prevents intimacy.

We may tell ourselves we don't want or need another person, or smother the person with our needs.

Sometimes, we defeat ourselves by trying to be close to people who aren't available for intimacy - people with active addictions, or people who don't choose to be close to us. Sometimes, we choose people with particular faults so that when it comes time to be close, we have an escape hatch.

We're afraid, and we fear losing ourselves. We're afraid that closeness means we won't be able to own our power to take care of ourselves.

Now we're learning that it's okay to let ourselves be close to people. We're choosing to relate to safe, healthy people, so closeness is a possibility. Closeness doesn't mean we have to lose ourselves, or our life. As one man said, "We're learning that we can own our power with people, even when we're close, even when the other person has something we need."

Grazin'

Daily Reminder

We think we know what will make us happy. Seldom do we readily accept that painful moments are often the price tags for peaceful, happy times. Nor do we appreciate that happiness lives within each of us; never is it intrinsic to the events we experience. Because we look for happiness "out there" and expect it gift-wrapped in a particular way, we miss the joy of being fully alive each passing moment. How distorted our sense of happiness was! How futile our search!

The way still isn't easy every step we take, but we will find happiness in those fleeting moments when we can get outside of ourselves long enough to be fully attentive to the people in our lives. We'll find it because it's been there all the time. It flows between us when we open our hearts to give and to receive compassion. Being truly there for another person is the key, which unlocks the gate holding happiness back.

Today's Fairy Reminder

In a friend, I find a second self.

—Isabel Norton

Our mates and close friends present us with another view on what it is to be a human being. In being close we lower our barriers and get a feeling for what life is like from that person's perspective. We develop a feeling of empathy for him or her, and we multiply our life experiences by participating with others.

Through our closeness to someone, we might be confronted by a new awareness of ourselves. We may see something about ourselves we don't like and could never have seen on our own. We may see how similar we are to our friends, or how different, or how common and human our problems are. While each man lives his own life, through empathy we are given another window on the experience of living. Having a friend is a rich experience, which increases our wisdom about life.

Oh the best laid plans....

I have a 3 day weekend.  And what zackly do I wanna do?
NOTHING.
That's what I told himself.

Then I'm told of the plans he had for us to visit the train shop....2 hours away tomorrow.
Okay....the one thing I wanna accomplish is the flower boxes....paint and get 'em planted.
I can do that after we get back from the adventure....or Saturday, since there's rain due on Monday.
And then the phone rings and there's a change of plans...friends are coming to visit tonight?!...ummm.....hold on, they can come tonight, but I have a meeting to go to...I have their coffee pot, otherwise I'd cancel..  Right, they'll come tomorrow night and we'll grill out!  Lovely plan!
The flower boxes can happen Sunday.

Well, they could have until the Bug called and asked it I could come to her house and help her put together the fairy garden she got for her house for her birthday before her mom kills the flowers.  (mind you, this was asked in between her putting toilet paper on the holder and washing her hands....uh huh, she'd carried our conversation into the bathroom ... and had me on speaker phone cuz she knows how to do that...LOL...and yes, the mom was mortified when she went to investigate what she was doing in the bathroom.  I told her she was awesome for washing her hands...LOL)
Right.  4 hours in the car Saturday, and 3 hours in the car Sunday.
Flower boxes in the rain maybe?  LOL

More paddling lessons

Reading for the Day

A helpful tool, especially in the behavior we call detachment, is learning to identify who owns what. Then we let each person own and possess his or her rightful property.

If another person has a problem, a feeling, or a self-defeating behavior, that is their property, not ours. If someone is a martyr, immersed in negativity, controlling, or manipulative behavior, that is their issue, not ours.

If someone has acted and experienced a particular consequence, both the behavior and the consequence belong to that person.

If someone is in denial or cannot think clearly on a particular issue, that confusion belongs to him or her.

If someone has a limited or impaired ability to love or care, that is his or her property, not ours. If someone has no approval or nurturing to give away, that is that person's property.

People's lies, deceptions, tricks, manipulations, abusive behaviors, inappropriate behaviors, cheating behaviors, and tacky behaviors belong to them, too. Not us.

People's hope and dreams are their property. Their guilt belongs to them too. Their happiness or misery is also theirs. So are their beliefs and messages.

If some people don't like themselves, that is their choice. Other people's choices are their property, not ours.

What people choose to say and do is their business.

What is our property? Our property includes our behaviors, problems, feelings, happiness, misery, choices, and messages; our ability to love, care, and nurture; our thoughts, our denial, our hopes and dreams for ourselves. Whether we allow ourselves to be controlled, manipulated, deceived, or mistreated is our business.

We learn an appropriate sense of ownership. If something isn't ours, we don't take it. If we take it, we learn to give it back. Let other people have their property, and learn to own and take good care of what's ours.

Today, I will work at developing a clear sense of what belongs to me, and what doesn't. If it's not mine, I won't keep it. I will deal with my issues, my responsibilities, and myself. I will take my hands off what is not mine.

Quiet surprises

Fairy Dust

When you dare to be powerful -- to use your strength in the service of your vision, then it becomes less and less important whether you am afraid.

They're not really serious....

Messiness......

It's been one of those 'chase your arse' kinda weeks.  And I'm sure we're not done...

We had a birthday gathering and a graduation--cuz they graduate pre-schooler children now, don'tchaknow.  And you can toss that in with the drive from hell.  O.M.G.  

And returning to your home to discover it's a bomb site.  Leaves stripped from the trees, plastered to the house--and hailstones covering the back yard....and the front yard....and in a pile at the front door cuz that's where the wind shoved it. 

I'm not even going to mention the number of calls to the house--roofers wanting to know if we want a free estimate.  Yes, the hailstones were a tab bigger than pea sized.  More like golfball sized.  The neighbor will have to have siding replaced--vinyl doesn't stand up in hail that size.

But it's all good.  The drive from hell didn't include hailstones, just rain....and wind..and lots of both, mixed in with bolts of lightening and random cars in the ditch.  I pulled over three times and tried to wait it out--hoping to see a bit of the road.

I'm just HUGELY grateful the hailstones didn't happen while we were both on the road.  That would have made for horrid things that I don't even wanna think about......

But we're all safe.  Tired, but safe.

Looks pretty sad here....but it'll bounce back.

And so will our tired selves....

Fairy Reminder

Because of our resentments we sometimes get tense. We say we aren't going to have contact with our parents until they do something we expect of them. Or we hold out on a friend because we want an apology for an injury or injustice.

Sadly, we become more tense, more limited in our own joy, by holding someone else to our expectations. Our lives can be much richer and more fulfilled when we let go of these expectations. We can let go of manipulating or drawing forth the responses we want. Our manipulations and pouting make life too boring and limited. No one else need stand in the way of our pleasure.

Daily Reading

Loving allows us to live and through living we grow in loving.

  —Evelyn Mandel

Many days it seems too easy to be centered on ourselves, wondering if others love us rather than loving others. On those days, we may have to act "as if" we love the persons who live on our pathways. The unexpected gift is that we do begin to feel both love and loved. Living becomes easier, and so does loving. Acting "as if" is a good way of learning those behaviors that don't feel natural. And in time, acting "as if" is necessary no more.

I can behave in any way I decide to. I can choose to think about others, and love them. I can choose to forget myself, today.

Springing!!

More Fairy Dust

The period of greatest gain in knowledge and experience is the most difficult period in one's life. Through a difficult period you can learn; you can develop inner strength, determination, and courage to face the problems.

His Holiness the Dalai Lama

When they turn five......

When they turn five they have Princess Parties.

They have peanut butter and jelly sammiches cut out in the shape of crowns.

They get to decorate their own crowns with jewels that promptly fall off and they don't CARE.

They run around with their school friends and giggle and whisper and giggle some more.

They go to bathrooms in groups to admire their face paint.

They blow out the candle and promptly play with the banner, ignoring pleas for a photo opportunity.

They want a BIG piece of cake and leave it uneaten on the table cuz there's balloons to pop with a surprise inside of them.

They play hopscotch and tag and scream and jump and scream some more.

They whiz through present unwrapping and then whiz off to go play some MORE.

But they still crawl up on your lap and want a hug.

And they still say "I love you, Nana."

And they still ask when they can come stay at your house again.

Any time, Bug--any time.

Next week it is!

The guessing game

Week two of not using the cane.  Sometimes I look really old and decrepit less than graceful, especially late at night when I'm trying to get up off the couch.  It's sorta done in stages....and not one of 'em is anything I'd repeat in the company of strangers.  I'd stay on the stupid couch....for a very long time.....

I really need to think when I'm walking, otherwise I'm weaving and wobbling and appearing intoxicated as I go from one side of the hall to another.  On occasion I end up bumping the walls.  I prefer to think I look like a pinball, but with an uneven gait, I'm pretty sure that's wishful thinking on my part.
I NEED to THINK when I walk and do less glancing at what I'm carrying to my next spot, or talking, or going through a mental list of 'stuff' that's needing attended to.  Sometimes I end up in an office I didn't intend to enter simply because that's the direction my 'drunken stagger' takes me.  (Thank goodness it's generally the IT fella that gets my lovely visits.  He's pretty good at just staying on his task and asking if it's business or just a 'stumble visit'.)

I end up weaving my way into an aisle in the stores and then something catches my eye (shiny, bright things will do that...LOL).... and suddenly himself has vanished and I'm now on to find more shiny, bright objects.  LOTS of 'Oh look......a chicken!!' moments when we're shopping.  So much so that himself has decided he won't leave his cellphone in the car because he'll need to ring me to locate me when I go 'wandering'.  
 
But I can mow the lawn and not leave a weaving line!  Fine example how looking down and going a bit slower can get you different results.  Where's the fun in that?

Oh, and Stairs are a whole 'nother thing.
Still an issue going down, but I can sorta go down at an angle and make it look half way normal.  Going up is slower than the average bear, but it works. I just look....funny.

And I limp. Sometimes it's horrible--other times it's barely noticeable, or so I'm told.  I know I've done a lot of compensating for the inch and a half difference between the left and right.  That probably explains the increased back and hip pain.  Or....maybe I'm simply old and decrepit achy from the weather.

I'm thinkin' I might need to go back to dragging the cane around.  It saves me from having to offer up explanations for the weaving and wobbling.  On the other hand, I'm kinda having fun with the 'other people's opinions' thing....*laughing*

Fairy Dust

If you want to build a ship, don't herd people together to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work but rather, teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

The thief

Fairy Reading

We have to give up ideas that a friendship is an intense connection or a conflict-free blending of like minds.

A meaningful friendship is a long-term dialogue. If there is conflict or if we make a mistake or fail to do what our friend wants of us, we don't end the friendship. We simply have the next exchange to resolve the differences. Our dialogue continues over time, and time - along with many amends - builds the bond. With it develops a deepening sense of reliability and trusting one another. When we have lived with our friend through many experiences we gain a feeling that we really know him or her in a way we could never have in a brief intense connection.

Today, I will do what I need to do to be reliable in my friendships.

The huge little things

And yet another reading.....

Letting go of our need to control can set others and us free. 

If we weren't trying to control someone or something, what would we be doing differently?

What would we do that we're not letting ourselves do now? Where would we go? What would we say?

What decisions would we make?

What would we ask for? What boundaries would be set? When would we say no or yes?

If we weren't trying to control whether a person liked us or his or her reaction to us, what would we do differently? If we weren't trying to control the course of a relationship, what would we do differently? If we weren't trying to control another person's behavior, how would we think, feel, speak, and behave differently than we do now?

What haven't we been letting ourselves do while hoping that self-denial would influence a particular situation or person? Are there some things we've been doing that we'd stop?

How would we treat ourselves differently?

Would we let ourselves enjoy life more and feel better right now? Would we stop feeling so bad? Would we treat ourselves better?

If we weren't trying to control, what would we do differently? Make a list, and then do it.

Note to self

I don't know what the deal is.
I think I've had the worst 3 days I've had in some time.  Monday I was bordering on telling himself he needed to take me somewhere to get knocked out.  Tuesday and Wednesday weren't much better--lack of sleep probably just added to it.  Tonight's better.  I wore the TENS most of the day.  I'm gonna sleep with it tonighr, or try to sleep wearing it anyway.
I'm starting to wonder if it's just me.  Everytime I get close to the doctor's appointment, thing SEEM to go downhill.
I' ll note the **** days and maybe I'll find some pattern.  Cuz this has NOT been a fun week.  *sigh*

TFTD

So much to say. And so much not to say! Some things are better left unsaid. But so many unsaid things can become a burden.

  —Virginia Mae Axline

The occasions are many when we'd like to share a feeling, an observation, perhaps even a criticism with someone. The risk is great, however. She might be hurt, or he might walk away, leaving us alone.

Many times, we need not share our words directly. Weighing and measuring the probable outcome and asking for some inner guidance will help us decide when to speak up and when to leave things unsaid. But if our thoughts are seriously interfering with our relationships, we can't ignore them for long.

Clearing the air is necessary sometimes, and it freshens all relationships. When to take the risk creates consternation. But within our quiet spaces, we always know when we must speak up. And the direction will come. The right moment will present itself. And within those quiet spaces the right words can be found.

If I am uncomfortable with certain people, and the feelings don't leave, I will consider what might need to be said. I will open myself to the way and ask to be shown the steps to take. Then, I will be patient.

Happy rainbow fishies

TFTD

Weakness is nothing to be ashamed of. It is something to be worked on.

It’s good to improve on your strengths. It’s even better, though, to make improvements in the areas that are your weaknesses.

When you improve on your strengths, you get good incremental gains. Yet when you can transform a weakness into a strength, you get major, life-changing gains.

Be willing to admit what you don’t know, what you are not experienced at doing, and what you don’t understand. Then get busy learning, developing your skills, and increasing your understanding.

Instead of using your weaknesses as excuses, use them as pathways for improvement. Instead of resigning yourself to whatever’s holding you back, challenge yourself to find a way around it.

Be honest and realistic with yourself about where you are coming up short. Then do the work, transform that weakness into strength, and move forward faster than before.

Men at work

Things that make me happy....

....bright, tissue paper fishies.

....the return of the flowerboxes....with flowers even!

....the happy sqealing gal when I gifted her the overgrown butterfly bushes.

....a full day outside in the garden.

....the smell of a good rain.

....a whole week without using the cane!  Woohoo!!

....the backyard's ribbon of wild violets.

Fairy Wisdom

You cannot just walk away from the obligations you’ve incurred in the past. However, you absolutely can choose to honor those obligations by going above and beyond them.

No matter what the past has been, today is an opportunity. You are alive, capable, motivated and in a position to make a positive difference in some way.

Look forward, see that opportunity, and dive into the opportunity. What really matters now is what you do next.

Invasion of the Triffids

Ah well...

Yes, I'm a creature of habit.  You can hand me a menu for breakfast, but even though himself chuckles at the list of what I could order, he knows it'll be two eggs oner easy, hashbrowns with onions.
And if we're out for lunch at the wee restaurant, it'll be chicken salad on lettuce.

Sos hows come, after weeks of making my lunch and diligently putting it in the fridge so I can bolt with it in the morning....hows come there's not ummm...stuff....for lunch making.

"I wasn't sure what you would be taking."
This from the man who chided me over taking the same thing for weeks now....who wanted to buy me some fancy schmancy thermal bag for it?!

"Okayokay...I forgot to put it on my list."
Really....
"Right...I left the phone at home and didn't have my list."

THATwould explain why there are two bags of cheetos, two tubs of sour cream and a bag and 3/4's of potatoes.  Not so much the absence of stuff for taking my lunch.
Maybe it was the baseball game on television!!  Or old age.
More likely the latter--being a Cubs fan would make me do all kindsa crazy stuff, too.  LOL

Fairy Dust

What you think, what you feel, what you say and what you do all matter very much. In every moment, with every choice, you move your life in a specific direction.

Make the commitment to always make that direction a good and meaningful one. Choose wisely, and live magnificently.

Morning's wash

Fairy Thought

Living real life never feels as serene as our fantasies. A myth lifts us up, carries us away to other possibilities, but we should always take it with a grain of salt. A father's recollections or a Norman Rockwell painting romanticizes a piece of reality by omitting the drudgery and confusion of life. Myths are meant as inspirations, not as measurements of our lives.

The difficulties and confusion I feel may just be part of real life. Serenity comes when I accept the mixture that real life is.

A full table

I have a LIST!!

Right....

• Potting mix purchased (...k...maybe a couple of bedding plant, too)
• Good 'ol DIRT purchased (crazy, but true)
• New charcol grill purchased (why, I do not know...LOL)
• 4 root strangled buddlieas repotted
• 2 HUGE and promising to overtake the patio buddlieas bagged up and ready for a friend to add to her garden.  (She squealed and immediately sent the hubby out to buy huge pots to put them in...very cool she's so excited!)
• 4 flowerboxes for ther front planted and put out
• 4 pots planted with "leftovers" from the flowerboxes and put out by the birdie bath
• Back eaves cleared out (wouldn't let me go up the ladder...pfffttt!!)
• Sedum replaced in the bowl (very tough winter killed it) and put out
• Flowers planted to edge the back flowerbed
• Lawn trimmed
• Lawn mowed
• Dinner and dishes done
• Birdies fed and birdie bath filled
• Patio swinging!!

I almost felt "normal"!!

Don't ask how I feel now....

Gonna limp to the bubble filled tub now!

(Someone might haffta help me outta it....)

Fairy Wisdom for the Day

Hurried and worried until we're buried

And there's no curtain call,

Life's a very funny proposition,

after all.

  —George M. Cohan

Often, when we involve ourselves in a whirlwind of activities, plans, and expectations, we push ourselves so hard that we don't derive any satisfaction from success. We need to face our limitations. We can't do everything we want. Even when we can do a great deal, if we overextend ourselves, take on too much, we will not enjoy ourselves, and there is no reason not to enjoy our work.

Our activities are part of what we are. If we choose to live in a frantic hurry, worrying about the next moment instead of this one, we'll miss life entirely. Part of self-knowledge is learning to pace ourselves to our own speed, learning to set goals we can attain for each day. When we do this, we can say, "Now that I've completed this, I don't have to do one more thing to feel worthwhile."

Cuz Waking Up Is Hard To Do

Prezzies!!!

I love my sister!!  And that's not just cuz she randomly sends me prezzies in the mail
But O.M.G. .... She told me she was gonna make a sign for my desk, one that would remind me "Let it go.  Breathe.  It'll be okay."  That's been my mantra for the past few months.  I've had large chunks I've had to swallow.
I definitely need to remember that it really WILL be okay.

So her"sign" is canvas...and paper and ink and paint...with a hundred butterflies taking flight.  It blew me away.  It's beautiful....A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.

And I got a Great Pumpkin place setting, too cute but I'll use it anyway ciz it already maked me grin.  And chalkboard tags in the shape of mason jars, and a 9/11 flag that she ordered two of cuz we truly will never forget.  Oh and there were wee pinwheels in flowerpots, and a tiny rubber chicken.  LOL, she's never forgetting Zelda the rubber chicken that rode (seatbelted in!) with me in the car everywhere I went.  And I got a cool magnet clip that will go to work with me....and a cool pen that nobody's gonna steal, and and and.  I was squealing like it was Christmas.

I love my sister ..."more".
She brags she's loved me "longer".
I'm good with that.

Another Darned Reading....

Sometimes, it helps to set a deadline.

This can be true when we face unsolved problems, are struggling with a tough decision, have been sitting on the fence for a while, or have been floundering in confusion about a particular issue for a time.

That does not mean a deadline is written in stone. It means that we are establishing a time frame to help ourselves not feel so helpless and to help bring a solution into focus. Setting deadlines can free our energy to set the problem or issue aside, to let go, and allow the Universe, our Higher Power, and ourselves to begin to move toward a solution.

We don't always need to tell people we've got a deadline. Sometimes, it's better to be silent, or else they may feel we are trying to control them and may rebel against our deadline. Sometimes, it is appropriate to share our deadlines with others.

Deadlines are primarily a tool to help ourselves. They need to be reasonable and appropriate to each individual situation. Used properly, deadlines can be a beneficial tool to help us get through difficult problems and situations without feeling trapped and helpless. They can help us let go of worrying and obsessing, so we can focus our energies in more constructive directions. Setting a deadline can help move us out of that uncomfortable spot of feeling victimized by a person or a problem we can't solve.

Deadlines can help us detach and move forward.

Dam tree

Today's Reading

Our habits, whatever they may be, were greatly influenced, if not wholly formed, during childhood. 

We learned our behavior through imitation -- imitation of our parents, our siblings, our peer group. 

But we need not be stuck in habits that are unhealthy. 

The choice to create new patterns of behavior is ours to make--every moment, every hour, every day.

Fairy Material

The world is a wheel always turning. Those who are high go down low, and those who've been low go up higher.

  —Anzia Yezierska

Everything changes. Nothing stays the same. And letting go of the way things are, anticipating instead what they might become, frees us to live each moment more fully.

Time marches on, and our destiny marches with it. There is purpose in how our lives unfold; the ups and downs serve our growth. We must neither resent the doldrums nor savor too long the elation. Giving too much attention to either state interferes with our awareness of the present. And the present has come to teach us.

We must move with time. We must focus our attention on the moment and accept whatever feelings each experience elicits. Emotional maturity is accepting our feelings and letting them go and facing instead the next moment with fresh receptivity. Our lessons are many, and they accompany the lows as well as the highs. We can be grateful for both.

I can move confidently forward, trusting that all is well. Nothing lasts forever, and within each struggle is the opportunity for real growth.

The highs will pass away, just as will the lows. They visit us purposefully. I will give them their freedom and find mine as well.

Geometry

Weather forecaster....

I love a good storm.  I'll race out to an open view to watch it roll in.  I always stand amazed at the phenomenal clouds we get here.  I can find all sorts of stuff on a puffy cloud day, crane my neck to watch thw wispy ones and run for the camera when the ominous ones show up.
But I don't like those sorta clouds at night. I like to see what's coming.  I seem to get this edginess going long before the weather dudes get around to telling us there's an ugly band forming, whatever the hour.
I can feel it somehow.
And I'm thinking I'm now going to add "physically" feeling it before it shows up.
Maybe it's the hardware.  Or maybe it's the fringe benefits of a twice broken leg.
Heaven forbid that it's a sign of old age.  :-/

I ache.  And no amount of slathered on lidocaine is touching it.
Yup...storm's brewing somewhere....

Of course it could be in Utah.  LOL

'Specially given himself, who is NEVER awake in the early morning, just pointed out that my evening's medications are still in the pill holder.
:-/

TFTD

Many of us associated suffering with some sort of sainthood. . Now, we associate it with being unhealthy. We can go through the day making ourselves feel anxious, guilty, miserable, and deprived. Or we can allow ourselves to go through that same day feeling good. In recovery, we eventually learn the choice is ours.

There is much to be enjoyed each day, and it is okay to feel good. We can let ourselves enjoy our tasks. We can learn to relax without guilt. We can even learn to have fun.

Work at learning to have fun. Apply yourself with dedication to learning enjoyment. Work as hard at learning to have fun as you did at feeling miserable.

Our work will pay off. Fun will become fun. Life will become fun and feel good.

Just doing the deal....

Yesterday I did some running....but not the same kind as Timmy did. The glory of this position is I'm responsible for standards and compliance for programs in the agency that I know next to nothing about.  Which means I have a need to visit.  So that's what I did first thing in the morning.
But we got interrupted a time or two.  It would seem the 13 year old that served as an interruption liked to run around playing 'catch me if you can' with the grown ups.  He was doing a fine job of, I must say.  I finally got in between him and the adults that were playing (unhappily) along.
Stuck out my hand, I did, introduced myself and asked if he could tell me a bit about school....which, by the way, was already started and why wasn't he in there learning?
"School is dumb.  I hate language arts."
Seriously, I hated math.  And, ADHD as I acted, I was disruptive and a pain in the teacher's backside.
"Me too.  Pain in the BUTT!"
He didn't need a lot of encouragement to talk, and eventually I heard of his incarcerated father and his drug addicted mother...and his heart's desire to go home.  He'd had his first visit from his mom in 3 months just the past weekend.
Homesick, no doubt.  And scared.  I knew that fear.  I knew I would stay with my abusive, alcohol addicted father no matter what.  I'd lost my birth mother at age five, I couldn't....wouldn't -- REFUSED to lose my father, too.  No matter what. I fought extended family that tried to intervene.  If I didn't have the only parent I had left, I had nothing....no one...
I told him that.
And that was all it took.

It wasn't me he went to finishing crying on and get the hugs from.  I was good with that.  It's clear he feels safe enough to do that with the grown ups who no longer had a 13 year old to chase after, but a homesick, scared kid who just needed an ear and a hug.
They were doing that very well when I left.  He was in good hands, and I made sure to shoot off an email to their bosses to let them know that.
I'll get a chance...I'll make the chance to drop in and see how Timmy's getting along, if he's making it to school...if he's ceased making folks play 'catch me if you can' ... and if he's liking language arts any better than I grew to like math.
I'll settle for two outta three.

Fairy Reading

Make yourself a blessing to someone. Your kind smile or pat on the back just might pull someone back from the edge.

 —Carmelia Elliott

Someone will be helped today by our kindness. Compassionate attention assures others that they do matter, and every one of us needs that reassurance occasionally.

Offering words of encouragement to others, or a willing ear, can be unexpected gifts. They will be deeply appreciated.

The real gift, though, is to ourselves. Helping someone in need benefits the helper even more. Our own closeness to God and thus assurance about our own being is strengthened each time we do God's work--each time we do what our hearts direct.

We are healed in our healing of others. God speaks to us through our words to others. Our own well-being is enhanced each time we put someone else's well-being first.

We're all on a trip, following different road maps, but to the same destination. I will be ready to lend a helping hand to a troubled traveler today.