Captured Memory5

:-(

I’m sad.  October 9, 2005 I was gifted Studley, the 8 foot spider.

He tried……really, really hard.

His little body inflated and his little legs got plump, but they just wouldn’t stay that way. 

And himself tried.  And tried.

He repositioned him over and over again.  Check and rechecked to make sure there weren’t any ‘kinks’ that were causing the problems—even sprayed his little spider body with water proofing, hoping it would help to keep the air in.

*sigh*

Poor Studley is just TIRED.  He’s done 9 years of Halloweens, proudly and happily.

And even though we’ve had to stake his little spidery legs in place, he’s been a constant for Halloween.  Kiddo’s have hugged him, sat on him, stabbed at him with their light sabers,  had their photos taken with him year after year after year…..

I gotta retire him.

Too thin—his fabric is just too thin.  He can’t do the elements and he’s just……..tired.  Oh, but he TRIED!

I’m sad.

A ‘new’ spider, himself said—and he immediately went online to see what there was out there.

Red eyes.  Spikey legs. Spinning eyes, colour changing, animated heads that turn, MEAN looking things.  Oh, there’s a couple funny looking ones…….but they’re not Studley.  And they don’t FIT.

Yes, I know---tantrum on my part…….I want Studley.

His fan works really good and there just HAD to be a way to make him work.

One more time I had to try.

And one  more time ……he’s tired.  Thin and struggling to hold his air.

So……retired he is.

*sigh*

I’m sad.

And because I’m not one to surrender, I went online to look for Studley’s twin.

AND I FOUND HIM! 

Used twice and boxed up, he’s now enroute.

The fella told me he was in excellent shape.

And I don’t care if his fan isn’t up to par (Studley’s is!).  I don’t care if he comes with all the ropes and stakes and STUFF that comes to keep him in place.  (Studley has ‘em!)

The itsy bitsy spiders are coming down the water spout already……and there’s an empty place on the corner where Studley’s suppose to be. 

Now I just gotta name him…..maybe once I get him.

WAIT!!!

Stanley.
That's it!!

We shall name him Stanley!

 

Fairy Words for Today

I want somehow to tell the story of how the dispossessed become possessed of their own history without losing sight, without forgetting the meaning or the nature of their journey. 

-Sherley Anne Williams  

To use the past without being controlled by it--that is our responsibility to history. Because the past is irrecoverably vanished, it's sometimes tempting to forget it or to falsify it. But being true to ourselves means being true to our history.  Past cruelties can remain powerful in our lives,  yet to take possession of our history means to free ourselves of bondage to past events. Nothing can ever change them. If we are to make the future good, we'll learn what the past can teach us. But our freedom requires us to make choices based on the needs of the present, not the past. 

 I can act at every moment in such a way as to honor the past and enhance the future.

Captured Memory4

TFTD

I feel best about having helped others believe in themselves. --Bud Sherman  

Encouragement is one of the greatest gifts we can give one another. Chances are we can all remember someone who encouraged us many years ago. Perhaps a teacher or an employer took a special interest in us, and we have never forgotten that person. It's likely we are remembered in much the same way by someone else, too. It's nice to savor these memories, isn't it?  

There is nothing stopping us from continuing to make memories for others. We will experience people and situations today that will benefit if we pass on encouragement and praise. We will benefit as well. It feels good to acknowledge another's contributions to the world. It strengthens our own willingness to contribute.  No conversation is without purpose. Even those exchanges that seem meaningless offer us opportunities for bettering someone else's opinion of themselves. 

What greater offerings have we to make than to be loving and helpful to someone traveling this path with us? If we haven't given much attention to this part of our assignment before, let's begin now. The homework will make all of us feel much better.  A few words of encouragement to another is all that's asked of me today. I can handle that.

Captured Memory3

Fairy Reading for Today

When we do for other people what they should do for themselves, we both stay stuck.  

Perhaps it's human nature to grow and change only when we have to. Unrelenting pain can serve as a motivator. Sometimes ultimatums are effective too. But making excuses for others or taking over their responsibilities, even when it's for their benefit, never inspires change. 

We're learning that the only change we can be certain of is one we make in ourselves.  One of the first changes we can make is to let go of others: their opinions, their behavior, and their responsibilities. 

Our need for them to fulfill our expectations is related to our insecurity, not theirs. Every time we preach or take on others' duties, we must recognize that we are preventing much-needed growth, ours and theirs.  

Our intentions might always have been good. But the time has come to let others live their own lives. It's quite enough to take care of ourselves.  I will not do someone else's task today. Growth comes from each of us being responsible for ourselves.

A wonderful thing about autumn

Daily Message

I was sitting in the chair at the beauty shop getting my hair cut one day and listening to my beautician chatter away. She showed me a picture of one of her friends, a woman who had gotten married and recently had a baby girl.  "She's been so in love since that child was born," she said, showing me a picture of the new mother's smiling face.  "In love with her husband?" I asked.  "No," she said. "Well, that, too. I mean in love with life."  

Have you ever been in love, had your heart beat fast when you anticipated the call of your lover, felt the way the sun felt warmer on your face, the sky appeared bluer, the clouds more fluffy, and the sunset more grand?  

What if you could fall in love with your life and feel that way each day? I'm not saying romantic relationships are bad. They're not. They're part of being human and getting our needs met. But what if we could take all that passion and focus it into falling in love with life?  Maybe that is what is meant by universal love. Maybe that's the part we give back.  

Under Construction ....... still.........

Ready set go.......

There’s an ‘Under Construction’ sign on the lonely undecorated work station.  Today’s FunDay Friday and we’ll put together the last one.  What we’ll do after that, I do not know. I think I drug in enough ‘stuff’ to decorate six stations, but it’s good to have variety—and the little gal at the front is so excited to have the activities set up.

 

She’s funny, that one. A young thing, she barely contained herself when she discovered I’d returned to work.  The good thing is she stopped herself from hugging me—though that was her intent.

Bit strange to be missed that much in the manner I was missed.  Generally it’s more of a ‘I don’t want your job’ kinda ‘missing’.  Now no one really knows the job I have so it’s hard to miss me in that manner.  The only one who mighta missed me is the boss—he’s used me for last minute information he needed for auditors and board meetings and meetings with the CEO. 

But he didn’t wanna hug me…..come to think of it, he’s not even responded to any of my emails since I got back. 

Huh…….

 

Matters not—the little gal who didn’t hug me informed me that she’s worked ahead so she’s good to go for FunDay Friday.

And we’ll get that last work station completed…….at least for now.

We opted to make two stations ‘seasonal’.

Which means we’ll have plenty of opportunities on other FunDay Fridays!

 

Ohhhhhh……I have lights and garland and an ooky spooky cardboard tree you can use chalk on. And a fluffy monster to make with one HUGE eyeball…….and spiders and cool pencils and a spidery web table runner and STUFF!!  J

Yeahyeahyeah…….and work to do.

It’s the end of the month, yaknow!

 

Fairy Message

Do I trigger gossip?  

There is a saying that listening to gossip is gossip. How true! If there were no listeners, there would never be any gossip.  

Some of us who pride ourselves in refraining from gossip may still have a problem with it. It's possible we still keep ears open for any juicy gossip that could fall our way. We might also shake the tree if we believe another person has some gossip to share with us. This is done in seemingly innocent ways, sometimes just by mentioning the name of a person to another who may have strong opinions to express.  

The harm of gossip lies in what we do to ourselves when we engage in it. There is no way we can continue to have personal growth if we practice gossip, even as passive listeners. Personal, spiritual growth takes place within us, and it needs an environment completely free of any ill will.  

Let's beware of any tendency to say things that induce others to gossip. At the same time, let's tune out gossip that seems to occur spontaneously. 

Gossip is the enemy of the growth we desire.  It is a real relief to know that today I have no desire to spread gossip or listen to it. This includes things I might read in magazines or newspapers.

Daily Reading

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes. --Marcel Proust  

How have we felt when we return to our hometowns, childhood homes, old playgrounds, or high schools after years of absence? Suddenly each place isn't as it once seemed because we're looking through the eyes of someone older and changed. Where we once saw our high school through the eyes of students, we now look at it through the eyes of adults - in a much different way.  

So it is with all areas of our lives: our jobs, homes, families, friends, or partners. Many of these people and places haven't changed for a long time. Yet, we change every day. Instead of seeing our job as the same old job or our home as the same old home, we can start to look at them differently.  

Today we don't need to change things on the outside to feel better on the inside. We can change how we look at things from the inside out. We can start to see who and what are outside of us as if we were looking at them for the first time. Today the ho-hums in our lives can turn into ah-has just by changing the way we see them.  There may be many things in my life that haven't changed, but I'm not one of them.

Captured Memory2

Today's Reading From the Reading Fairy

There is no happiness; there are only moments of happiness. -- Spanish proverb  

How happy we are right now may hinge on dinnertime - whether it is just before or just after. It may also depend on whether we are examining ourselves to see if we are happy or not. There's nothing like a little introspection to convince us of the futility of life. 

Just asking the question, "Am I happy?" is enough to put us into a blue mood.  

Moments of happiness, like creative thoughts, pass before us all the time. If we want to enjoy them, it's up to us to reach out and take them when they appear. The opportunities are boundless.

Captured Memory

Things that make me happy....

....my own pillow, my own bed, my own blankies.

....waking up to a fresh pot of coffee just waiting.

....my Frank cup!  *snickering*  And sometimes his spider cup.  LOL

....the hint of yellow in the trees.

....wrong turn adventures.

....pumpkins.

....orange lights on the fence and in the bushes.

Oh joy...

It's easy to let circumstances determine how we think and behave. While it's true that some events seem devastating, our relationship with a Higher Power can help us accept and even grow from experiences that seem impossible to cope with.  

We all have known men and women who've handled grave upsets far more easily than we have. How did they do it? They have no magic. Rather, they may be more comfortable letting their Higher Power help them accept and understand unfortunate circumstances. 

Once we accept our anger or disappointment, we're free to move on to better feelings. We begin to realize we have choices in how we look at problems.  We are never given more than we can handle. 
We can develop acceptance of any circumstances. Acceptance helps me handle the uncontrollable events of today. 
Through acceptance, I can change my feelings at any moment - even right now.

Daily Reading

Agreement is usually not necessary.  

Many of us have lived as if we always had to be right. We did not stop to notice that other things we cared about were being lost such as friends who got tired of our persistent need to be right, or children whose self-esteem was undermined when there was no room for their ideas, or a former mate who drifted away because we could relax only if we were proven right. 

In our differences there is much more to look at and far more to settle than who is right and who is wrong.  An intimate connection is simply communicating our differences to each other and understanding them. Agreement is usually not necessary. Our relationships give us an opportunity to view the world intimately through someone else's eyes. Defeating our differences defeats our opportunities to learn. We need just exclaim, Oh that's another way to see it!

Luxurious Accommodations

TFTD

Celebrate your life and hear your spirit sing. -- Elisabeth L.  

"What's to celebrate?" some people ask. We all get our fill of the cynics. Their negativity can weigh down our spirits. But we don't have to let them control how we see our lives or theirs. To keep our own perceptions positive, it helps to detach from the naysayers. We will improve our chances if we consciously focus on gratitude for even the tiny blessings rather than on whatever might be wrong.  

Becoming grateful is the strongest, safest means of feeling good now that we are abstinent. Not only does it readily alter our mood, but it changes our perspective on every detail of our lives. To be thankful rather than "thankless" is a small price to pay for unqualified happiness coupled with serenity.  

We've all known people who radiate a singing spirit. 

They love life, themselves, and others. 

We seek out their company. 

We can be like those people for the travelers sharing our journey. 

Let's do it! 

2333 ...... home!!

• Jeep is unpacked
• Groceries for the next few days are gotten
• Patio flowers are watered
• Front flowerboxes are watered
• Hummingbird feeder is washed out and filled (boy are they happy to see me!)
• Birdie feeder is filled
• Birdie table feeder has fresh seed
• Dinner is had (thank goodness for chicken they roast at our grocery store!)
• House is airing out
• Luggage is half way emptied....and I quit.  Having a cuppa coffee takes presidence over getting stuff downstairs into the washmachine.  Himself is crawling into the shower and I'm warming up the computer so it can transfer the two thousand photos I took in a mere eight days.  OMG I am such a photo monger.  I take four of the same thing in different settings...cuz what if the first three are as awful as I think they might be.  LOL. What a dweeb.....cuz now I haffta go through 'em all and decide which ones to save.  Pfffttt!!

It's good to be home...where you get coffee in your own cup, where you know who slept in that bed, where you can put you elbows on the table and show himself the already-been-chewed food if you wanna, where you know who's gonna sit on the bench with you, where you can find what you need in the next room, where you know what creature you might meet up with on a walk (LOL).....where you can flop on the couch in any unlady-like position you wanna cuz ain't nobody gonna tell ya different.

:-)
DEFINITELY gonna exercise that right while the computer sucks up my photos.

Fairy Wisdom

Most of us assume we have mastered self-control by now. And perhaps we have. 

A good test is to monitor how we respond to a nagging spouse or a disrespectful postman or vile-mouthed teenager. 

Do instances such as these make us angry or resentful? If so, we aren't exerting adequate self-control. Letting another's behavior, no matter how petty, disturb our inner peace means we aren't in control of ourselves. 

But we can be. 

There is still time to learn how, and most of us have all the time we need.  

Why is self-control so valuable? 

Getting agitated feels good sometimes. We may think it's superior to boredom. But in truth, losing control of our emotions means we are always in the control of someone else. That too often means we are on a rollercoaster of ups and downs that exhaust us. Illness can even result. 

Another benefit of self-control is that we can lessen the turmoil around us, rather than add to it. The impact of any action or thought or quiet response is never ending. It's quite analogous to the pebble skipped across the pond. 

We are making subtle contributions to the world around us whether we are conscious of it or not. Let's be more careful of our input. 

*sigh*

It's the cutest room so far.  Probably the last room for this adventure.  Himself seems ready to be back home.  I'm sad it's coming to an end.  Oh to have unlimited funds and unlimited time to just wander around the country and see G-d's handiwork as you want.
I know.
Open the back door, the front door, the curtains....look at who and what surrounds you every freaking day.

*sigh*

Still, I hate to end it.

I did tell him I worried he'd be disappointed after seeing Moab and the Grand Canyon, Joshuah Tree and the like.
He assured me it's been awesome.
And even with the cheesy bits, it's been amazing.

Today was Bear Butte.
And it was the most amazing, spiritual place.
A good way to finish the adventure.
A chance to get centered.
But it's still ending....and I'm sad for that.

TFTD

Be careful with amends.  

Hurting someone thoughtlessly just to lift our own guilt is not a proper amends. 

Amends are for rebuilding the burned bridges in our lives. But if amends will hurt someone, we must decide if it's in that person's best interest to be told now. 

Oftentimes it's best left unsaid, but never denied to ourselves.  

Changing our behavior intentionally is one part of making amends, particularly to family members who may have heard us say "I'm sorry" far too many times. 

Repaying money, repairing damages, and making charitable contributions on behalf of the person we have harmed are all honest attempts to right our wrong. 

The point in every amends attempt is to take responsibility for what we did and express our regrets. Couple this with changed behavior, and our relationships will improve immediately. 

The mile and a half

Devil's Tower was what he called the spot at the start of our journey.  Inquisitive and on his list of places to visit since he watched it in a movie from the comfort of a theatre, he knew little of the sacredness it held and frowned at me as I corrected him on the name he attached to it.

He wanted to simply view it from the space at the base and tried the protective 'perhaps we can walk just a bit'.

  I assured him of the need to walk the whole path and passed him in defiant determination.

1.5 miles up steap trails, winding around the base of Bear's Lodge.  Prayer flags and colours tied to branches to hounour those now not present.  

A forested alter, the song of the wind in the pines sweetened the already fragrant air. 

The walk was quiet, filled with reverence, over flowing with awe.

A year ago, wheelchair bound, holding on to the hope of a successful recovery from the broken-ness.

A mile and a half of worship, of humble gratitude.

There was a chance to sit as the tower lit up in the sunlight and reflect.  And there was an opportunity to, once again, thank the angles who lifted me up and wrapped me in the healing blanket of love and light. There was a chance to humbly thank Him for the blessings bestowed to those who carried me when I could not walk.

A mile and a half....

Even he was washed with the sence to sacred reverence.

And in leaving, he called it by the gifted, sacred name of Bear's Lodge. 

Fairy Reading

We can act ourselves into right thinking easier than we can think ourselves into right acting. --Anonymous  

The best thing for us to do is to be honest in how we act and think. We must be true to that belief.  We can't think for others, and they can't think for us. Friends can tell us the lessons they have learned from their experiences. If those lessons fit us, we can use them to help guide us and our thinking. 

As good for us as our ideas are, we must not force them on others. We can only offer them. And we won't be true to ourselves if we are jealous of other people's ideas. We never know what we can do until we try, and we can't be sure what ideas are best for us until we test them. 

Wowwowwow....

K....we might not make Devil's Tower at this rate.  (This said when we are a measley hour away.)  It's all so big and phenomenally awesome that it's hard to move on.  There's too much to see on and off the beaten path.

We did make Mt. Rushmore at night....and didn't get one decent photo of the lighting ceremony between the two of us.  'Well organized, informative, very clean, respectful and impressive place.' was himself's impression.  All true.  And the crowd was respectful with no talking during the presentation or the movie.  I hadn't noticed until he pointed it out.  That, in and of itself, was impressive.

The downside to today is the headache himself can't seem to get rid of.  Mine comes and goes.  I attribute it to the change in elevation which, given the up and down of the mountains, would do it.

Poor thing is acclimated to Iowa.  LOL

Tomorrow on to Bear's Lodge, which I prefer to call it given its spiritual meaning.  Doesn't quite jive with the name we branded it with.

Fairy Reading

Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, "It might have been." 

--John Greenleaf Whittier  

Unless we live in the now, we are in danger of suffering the agony of regret. We can't spend all our time thinking "life's not fair." We cannot afford to excuse everything with "what ifs?" 

We used those words constantly during the years we wasted on obeying compulsions we knew could destroy us.  We remember the years before and accept them as object lessons of what it could be like again if we become careless or complacent. 

But we don't regret them. Regret only leads to depression and perhaps a return to habits that rob us of peace.  

We must notdwell on the impossibility of undoing the wrongs of yesterday. 

Instead, we must begin enjoying the "right things" that are now possible in today.  

It is impossible to relive my past. I can only create a good past now by living this day the best way I can, so that tomorrow I can look back without having to say "It might have been."

Fairy Wisdom

Loving others begins with respect.  

So many books have been written on how to love that many of us assume we don't know how and maybe will never learn. We can simplify the process, however, by focusing on the Golden Rule. 

For starters, we can treat others as respectfully as we'd like to be treated. People respond well to respect, and they often pay us respect in return.  

Next, let's put the needs of at least one other person ahead of our own today. It's imperative that we do it willingly, not resentfully. 

We'll discover an unexpected benefit--not being self-absorbed, for a change, is really quite refreshing.  Finally, we can clear our minds from the thinking that keeps us from loving others. 

Each person who enters our circle of experience today can be loved by us if we are willing. 

Loving others is easier if we keep it simple.  

The fall of water

The morning message

It's not every place you land that opens its door to a sunrise.  This door doesn't.  Instead there is a shroud of mist, born from the thermal spring that fills the river.  If you sit, silent in the early morning, you get treated to the shifting colours of dawn and the sounds of birds awakening.

As the sunlight drifts over the mountains everything comes alive.  And if you wait, patiently and expectantly, rainbows dance in the music of the falls.

No one interrupts this great event.  It's you.  The birdsong.  The rainbows and the overwhelming and settledness that comes with the reminder you and G-d hold as His truth......the truth as it's sealed itself through experiences.

And then, without your notice,  a time wisened man with a dog appears and asks, without a look in your direction, "You know what a rainbow mean?"

Pot of gold?  Water particles fracturing light?  You wonder which answer was he looking for.
And before you can answer he tells you.
And disappears as he appeared....Without your notice.

And once again...
It's you.
The birdsong.
The fading rainbow.
The falling water.
And the overwhelming settledness....sealed in the man's answer:

"G-d keeps His promises."

Today's Message

Life has lessons to teach. We can remember them and share them with others, or we can forget them and have to learn them again. --Jan Pishok  

What we are destined to learn in this life will keep presenting itself until "contact" has been made. Each experience is a minute part of the big picture that's unfolding. We will receive the information we need, again and again if necessary. Let's give up our fear about where we are going and how we'll get there. We are in caring, capable hands. We will get to the right destination on time.  

Vastness

And so it goes...

There's a spiritual feel to the places we've wandered through.
I guess the sense of 'smallness' in this vastness is bound to happen. You can't sit in the middle of the badlands at ten o'clock at night and look up without getting a sense of how small you really are.
Awaken to the sun rising over those formations and you get reminded of the Creator, the Master Artist, the Power greater than you.
And in case you think of losing that sense of 'knowing', discover a tree with a lone prayer flag....or a dream catcher buried into the clay like wall of an obscure bit of  the walking path you wandered down.

Oh, there's the silly, cheesy places.
But even there, the reminders are there.

And G-d ends the day with a brilliant sunset in the charming town you land in for the night....and you sit outside, listening to the sound of the river rushing over stones, watching the mountains silhouettes fade into the night.

And if you're me, you're thanking Him for the gift of His presence.....  Amen

Daily Reading

God creates. People rearrange.

--Joseph Casey

Being alive is our invitation to act in fresh, inventive ways. All it takes is concentrating on our inner vision in combination with external reality. The components for accomplishing any task are at our fingertips, awaiting discovery.

Our burdens are lightened when we understand that all situations are resolvable — no mystery need leave us in the dark for long. Just as surely as we each exist, so exists every element we need to solve any problem or chart any new course. Our purpose in life is to select those elements that will satisfy the need. We each have been blessed with this capability for proper selection.

The day promises challenge and many choices. I can successfully handle all possibilities.

Fairy Reminder

If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.

--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Most of us make trouble for ourselves by over-reacting to what others say or do. We have conditioned ourselves to see everyone else as "the enemy" rather than look within ourselves for the real cause of our distress.

If we can pause long enough to uncover our own hidden discomfort and distorted attitudes before we react with harsh criticism or vindictive silence, we can change our destructive first impulses into a loving interchange between individuals.

Today let me not be quick to criticize or condemn another. I will look at others as friends, not as foes, on my journey toward self-discovery.

More Fairy Stuff

We learn to expect the unexpected.

Serenity and satisfaction come not when we achieve some measure of precarious temporary control, but when we learn to expect the unexpected. They come when we learn the art of responding to change and accommodating the ever-shifting circumstances of our lives.

We did not choose our journey before we were born. We did not choose the fact that this journey will end in death. Naturally we want to control what we can and our lives are better when we do so. But the best part of the adventure comes in taking what life brings to us and learning how to make it work. No amount of blaming, criticism, soul-searching, or grumpiness will ever unearth the reasons why changes happen.

Our relationship can be corroded by the acid of blame, but they becomes stronger when we join with others to cope with the events that shape our lives.

Black beauty

Yup.......snow.......

The odds were that himself would be cruising through the house, organizing and packing and readying for a roadtrip adventure.

And the odds were he’d have the television on.

So telling him seemed like the best option.  Managing the panic would be my job.  I’m the calm voice of reason in crisis situations.  And having a winter warning for the area we’re about to trek off to—ohdearLORD……talk about a crisis in his mind.

He doesn’t get that they can forecast snow and sixty degrees in the same breath.  He had a tough time when we were moving through the up and down in Arizona.  And he can’t seemingly transfer that information to think in a rational and logical, organized manner.  Why he can’t do that is a mystery to me.  Panic and freak out seems to be his answer out of the gate.  This is why he goes to AlAnon.

Obviously more meetings are required  (Trying not to laugh over here……) cuz despite my best effort to buffer the prospect of upwards to six inches of wet white stuff, panic and freak out he did. 

And we’re talking about changing his entire list of what to take for clothing despite telling him it wouldn’t last, rethinking where he potentially wanted to go on which day(okay…..chuckling!), questioning if south wasn’t a better plan and grabbing the atlas to research south east to the Mason-Dixon line. 

I had to exit.  I was gonna grab the atlas and whack him with it a few bazillion times.

There was no getting through that head that the forecast is for elevations over 6000 feet, it’s in the mid sixties the next day, averaging upwards to mid seventies the time we’re set to be there and a sweatshirt will suffice end.of.problem.thank.you.very.much.

Ohhhhh noooooo….

I’m bettin’ we’ll end up with the original plan.  He’ll be watching the weather channel and the panic will have already been spent……and it’ll make sense.

Well, it’ll make AS much sense as it’s gonna in that brain of his.  (REALLY laughing now!!)

  

Fairy Reading for the Day

The idea of giving ourselves what we want and need can be confusing, especially if we have spent many years not knowing that it's okay to take care of ourselves. Taking our energy and focus off others and their responsibilities and placing that energy on to our responsibilities and ourselves is a behavior that can be acquired. We learn it by daily practice.

We begin by relaxing, by breathing deeply, and letting go of our fears enough to feel as peaceful as we can. Then, we ask ourselves: What do I need to do to take care of myself today, or for this moment?

What do I need and want to do?

What would demonstrate love and self-responsibility?

Am I caught up in the belief that others are responsible for making me happy, responsible for me? Then the first thing I need to do is correct my belief system. I am responsible for myself.

Do I feel anxious and concerned about a responsibility I've been neglecting? Then perhaps I need to let go of my fears and tend to that responsibility.

Do I feel overwhelmed, out of control? Maybe I need to journey back to remembering what I have control over.

Have I been working too hard? Maybe what I need to do is take some time off and do something fun.

Have I been neglecting my work on daily tasks? Then maybe what I need to do is get back to my routine.

There is no recipe, no formula, no guidebook for self care. We each have a guide, and that guide is within us. We need to ask the question: What do I need to do to take loving, responsible care of myself? Then, we need to listen to the answer. Self-care is not that difficult. The most challenging part is trusting the answer, and having the courage to follow through once we hear it.

TFTD

Were our knowledge of human relationships a hundredfold more reliable than it is now, it would still be foolish to seek ready-made solutions for problems of living in the index of a book.

  —Mirra Komarovsky

The problems each of us experience have within their own parameters the solutions most fitting. And we each must discover those solutions, understand their appropriateness, and absorb them into the body of information that defines who we are and who we are becoming.

We learn experientially because only then is our reality significantly affected. Others' experiences are helpful to our growth and affirm how similar is our pain, but each of us must make our own choices, take responsible action in our own behalf.

How fortunate that we are now in a position to make healthy decisions about our relationships! No longer the victim, we have the personal power to choose how we want to spend our time and with whom. Through active participation in all our relationships, we can discover many of the hidden elements in our own natures and develop more fully all the characteristics unique to our personhood. Our growth is enhanced in proportion to our sincere involvement within the relationships we've chosen.

TFTD

I caused myself a lot of unnecessary grief by trying to be 'unselfish', to think of everybody else first, myself last, and to try to please everybody. But you can't please everybody.

You can knock yourself out doing this and that and the other thing to please your cousins and your sisters and your aunts, and you find out that they are not really affected one way or the other. Please everybody, nobody's pleased; please yourself, at least you're pleased.

Charity begins at home, and enlightened self-interest is a basic endowment of human nature. You can save yourself a lot of grief by admitting the futility of trying to please everybody, or of trying to please somebody who just can't be pleased.

Dawn's early light

There was only one word all the way to work this morning.

A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.

When I hit the exit on to the divided highway and saw the moon setting, I couldn't move my eyes from it.
Until I looked behind me.
And then it was that single word all the way to work.

Ummmm....no, that's not true.  It was that single word with a few dozen "You're GOODs." tossed in -- like He didn't know what I meant.

A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.......  He's really, really good.
I'm thinkin' He might wanna keep that day job.  Pun intended!!  ;-)

Daily Reading

Everything in life that we really accept undergoes a change. So suffering must become love. That is the mystery.

—Katherine Mansfield

Acceptance of those conditions that at times plague us changes not only the conditions but, in the process, ourselves. Perhaps this latter change is the more crucial. As each changes, as we all change into more accepting people, life's struggles ease. When we accept all the circumstances that we can't control, we are more peaceful. Smiles more easily fill us up.

It's almost as though life's eternal lesson is acceptance, and with it comes life's eternal blessings.

Every day offers me many opportunities to grow in acceptance and thus blessings. I can accept any condition today and understand it as an opportunity to take another step toward serenity, eternal and whole.

To Infinity

*grumbling*

Oh geeze.....TRY not to spend too much time fretting about next week and someone wants to be helpful, suggesting I check out the weather forecast.  l did.  :-/

High in the mid sixties, lows in the forties.  Pack a sweatshirt or two, no winter parka......and no snow is forecasted.  Sheeeeshhh!!  And I have to think about what to pack?
What's to think about?

Seriously, I've not been in a pair of Levis for years.  Oh, I tried, but it didn't last.  It was an uncomfortable and, later, painful experience.  I've lived in skirts for better than 2 years, even on the non-work days.  So yes---I'll be trouncing around in skirts while I'm chasing (or being chased by) by buffalos.

And no, I won't be taking 3.5 mile hikes to see all the cool places.  And nope, 185 "narrow" steps down to the caverns with cool stuff, won't happen either.  I'll work on accepting those facts.

I'll have my adventures on the beaten path.
I'll be a tourist.
I'll be the tourist in  the skirt trying not to whine......

Right....who am I kidding?

I'll be whining.
But I'll have my sweatshirt, dangit.  At least I won't be cold?

*sigh*
Himself says it doesn't matter.  It does and he's being gracious.
But---I'll try to limit the whining.
Maybe 8 times a day.
6?

WPIML told me LONG ago--"The rule" is I can whine three times and then I have to shut up, surrender and move on.

Fine!!
Three times....but BOY are they gonna be good ones!  :-/

Message from the Fairies

It is confusing to be in relationships and not know where we stand - whether this is on the job, in a friendship, with family members, or in a love relationship. We have a right to be direct about how we define the relationship - what we want it to be. But relationships equal two people who have equal rights. The other person needs to be able to define the relationship too. We have a right to know, and ask. So do they.

Honesty is the best policy.

We can set boundaries. If someone wants a more intense relationship than we do, we can be clear and honest about what we want, about our intended level of participation. We can tell the person what to reasonably expect from us, because that is what we want to give. How the person deals with that is his or her issue. Whether or not we tell the person is ours.

We can set boundaries and define friendships when those cause confusion.

We can even define relationships with children, if those relationships have gotten sticky and exceeded our parameters. We need to define love relationships and what that means to each person. We have a right to ask and receive clear answers. We have a right to make our own definitions and have our own expectations. So does the other person.

Honesty and directness is the only policy. Sometimes we don't know what we want in a relationship. Sometimes the other person doesn't know. But the sooner we can define a relationship, with the other person's help, the sooner we can decide on an appropriate course of conduct for ourselves.

The clearer we can become on defining relationships, the more we can take care of ourselves in that relationship. We have a right to our boundaries, wants, and needs. So does the other person. We cannot force someone to be in a relationship or to participate at a level we desire if he or she does not want to. All of us have a right not to be forced.

Information is a powerful tool, and having the information about what a particular relationship is - the boundaries and definitions of it - will empower us to take care of ourselves in it.

Relationships take a while to form, but at some point we can reasonably expect a clear definition of what that relationship is and what the boundaries of it are. If the definitions clash, we are free to make a new decision based on appropriate information about what we need to do to take care of ourselves.

Dam lock

Reading for the Day

Grief

Grief can do one of two things to you: it can make you or break you.

You can win your battle with loneliness and depression, and take up the business of living once more, a stronger and finer person because of your experience. Or you can surrender to loss, sadness, loneliness, and isolation. This surrender invites a tragic deterioration of character, in which you will react to everyone and everything with bitterness and self-pity, withdrawing more and more into yourself. It will not bring you peace; indeed, your last state will be worse than your first.

For your own sake, sooner or later you must fight. What better time to start than right now?

The last vestiges

Daily Reading

We defeat ourselves with labels. We hem ourselves in; we shorten our vision; we cut off opportunities in the making. We influence how others think of us, too.

Someone wise said that we teach others how to treat us.

Are we teaching people to expect nothing great from us because we are always afraid?

Do we shatter their vision of our potential by never thinking we can handle what may come?

We become the persons we have programmed ourselves to be.

We can revamp the program, anytime.

And right now is a good time to begin.

Mrs. Hummer