OMG I don't believe I said that.....

So she tells me:

"Welp...it's official--my cervix hates me."

*laughing*

I think that means we do more of the 'wait'.

Oh, she IS her mother's child. No matter which way you look at it...she IS her mother's child.

The good news--I have plenty of stuff in front of me to occupy myself with.....end of the month 'stuff' and all that jazz. It ain't like I'm gonna be sitting around twiddling my thumbs whilest she's 'getting around to it'.
And it's not like there's anything either one of us are going to do to change what's true at this moment.
Though....I admit that I did poke the other, other boy and advised him to take her home, make her walk a marathon-- have sex with her.....TWICE if need be.

She's a sobbing off again on again baraccuda. I won't blame him if he doesn't comply with the directions.
And if he does comply--giving a report on it will NOT be necessary.
ROFLMAO

Today's Dusting

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

--Eleanor Roosevelt

Hahahahahaha....it's all about MEMEME

Yup. I was working late last evening and opted to check up on The Girl via text message.

So....how ya doin'?

Wellllll.....spent all of last night, this morning and all of today with random, painless contractions--but nothing more than that.....grrrrrr.....

Well, geeze.....aren't you ready YET?! Whaddaya waiting on!

I am. Doesn't mean she's listening!

You're the mom. Tell her how it's gonna be.

Tried that. You, of all people, should know that doesn't work anyway....

NS. No doubt she will be/IS her mothers' child.

Wait. Oh......this is WONDERFUL..... Hahahahahahaha

There was a very longggggggggg pause before I got the last text of the evening....


Ultimately, I've decided--THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.




*laughing*

Oh, my G-d has a wonderful sense of humour.

It IS all about MEMEME.....LOLOL

QOTW 4/29

Ten things on your 'To Do' list.


-- Put the gift bags IN the car!!!

-- Put the gift bags IN the car!!! been sayin' this for a few days now...

-- Put the gift bags IN THE CAR!!!

-- k....Turn in/email the budgety stuff....early....but done. JUST in case...

-- Finish the phonecalls/emails on the list so folks know you'll be unavailable for a chunk of time.....whatever that means....

-- Crap.....get the end of the month stuff gathered up/organized so it can be done from home.

-- Remind someone to email/ring the boss when you scramble outta there!

-- Write in the card you picked up for the other, other boy already!!

-- And don't forget to stick the gift cards IN the card...oy brother....where'd I put the gift cards?!...

-- LOCATE the gift cards!!


Can you tell we're having a baby? LOLOL

TFTD

Only those who dare, truly live. —Ruth P. Freedman

We receive from life, from every experience, from each interaction according to what we have given.
When we commit ourselves fully to an experience, it will bless us.
When we give ourselves wholly to any moment, our awareness of reality will be heightened.
When we risk knowing someone else, truly knowing them, we will find ourselves.

Things that make me happy

....toast, toast, glorious toast!! :-)

....bitty violets of the white kind.....or the purple kind...

....hearing "BOY am I glad to see you......".

....finding wee one things to toss in a bag.

....the painted and 'rarin' to go' firepit.

....rainbows swirling around the coffee nook.

....big ol', putt-putt John Deere tractors.

....shaking a rain drenched tree branch on the unsuspecting. *laughing*

Today's Thought

No matter what results you get, the only real failure is when you stop making the effort.

When you are mistaken, you can learn.

When you are knocked down, you can get back up.
When you find that you've veered off track, you can correct your direction.

When you discover that circumstances have changed, you can make adjustments.

What a shame it would be to stop just one effort short.

:-)

<-- TOAST!!!!!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

(Lemme get back to you on whether that's edible toast....)

k....so......

.....this would be why himself thought that handy dandy--oh.....don't get me started...--machine mighta been a good plan.

35 miles away........NO doubt we're eligible for these things, too.

k..... He mighta had good reason for the........machine.......

(not my photo btw--I'da been in the basement like a good girl.....)

Dusting

In every frustration there is a powerful message.

Frustration tells you, in no uncertain terms, that something is not as good as it could possibly be.

Listen to it carefully.

OH. MY. GOSH!!!!!!

<-- This is Mel's HIMSELF'S new handy dandy PAIN IN THE ARSE, it'll make an alert sound more noise than 76 trombones leading the big parade and warn you scare the byJEEPERS outta ya and cause you to slop your coffee and worry more about the coffee stain than of any impending storm alert you might receive for your 'easily programmed' (OMG .... Do you HAVE to be a rocket scientist to program this thingy) area, storm warning machine thingy!

(Do NOT make me rename this wonderful machine thingy tonight--it won't be printable cuz it'll involve a string of four letter words!!)

I'm sure it's a good thing.
Iowa only has 99 counties and it's only programmed for all 99 of them.......and the storms are only covering 2/3rds of the state. Ummmmm.......that's approximately 66 counties that'll be affected and will be potentially receiving alerts....

Have I ever mentioned I suck at math?

Yeah....well....

Who needs sleep?!

WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS.......&*#$%!%* machine anyway?!?!


HIS.




...and who purchased it?!
Oh yeah....me....... *laughing*



Yeah.....well....everyone knows sleep is over-rated....

And in case I didn't 'get it' earlier....

I got to hear it as I was driving:

There's been times I've let my faith run thin

Not been the man I should have been

After all the trouble I've been in,

I'da gave up on me

I've lived hard and I've lived fast

Lost things I will never get back

Cause someone to look past all of that

God must really love me

When I look at the miracles around me

At the way that I live and the way He forgives

I know He's up there smiling down on me

And I believe the only reason whyI'm still alive is

God must really love me

Wake up and feel you by my side

The perfect girl, the perfect time

And see the way our future shines

God must really love me

When I look at the miracles around me

At the dream that I live and the gift that he gives

I know he's up there smiling down on me

And I believe the only reason whyI get to live this life is

God must really love me

When I showed the worst, He saw the best

He pulled the world right off my chest

Every day I wake up I feel blessed

Yeah, I feel so blessed

God must really love me

God must really love me

God must really love me

Sleeping With Bread

I've been letting things disturb me.
From pigeons with heart pains, to the weather (yes....the stupid weather....), to people who don't get their jobs done which interferes with me getting my job done, to stupid budgets that get returned even when they're in the black, to little things himself says or does that I end up taking personal, to -- oh, just about everything that happens in the course of 'a day in Mel's life'.

Restless, irritable and discontent....

Toast forcryingoutloud....I had a meltdown over TOAST.

Why?

Choice.
I know it's all about the choice.

Truthfully--when I feel 'out of control' in other areas, it all comes out sideways and 'wonky'.
And this week--I've felt out of control, disorganized and trapped in a 'mess' that I can't seemingly get out of.

Yes--I've had bigger battles than these in this lifetime. Why I'm letting stuff get the better of me.......why I'm giving it so much attention---

LOL I almost said "I don't know...."
That woulda been a lie.

I do know.

Fear does stupid stuff to me. (see how I just made myself the victim of fear? OY brother.....) And I let it. (there. ownership....mostly.....)
I let myself get focused on that which I cannot control and I get irritable about it....crabby cuz it IS what it is and I don't get to do anything about it--'cept hang on to faith and weather the storm with AS much dignity and grace as I can muster.

Apparently I ain't mustering up a whole lot of dignity and grace, huh?

Maybe that's because I breezed by that first part--yaknow....the FAITH deal?!


Oh yes....I remember now....

There's that poster on the wall where I take my coffee in the mornings.

You know..the one that's been there for eons...the gift from a pigeon during a particularly difficult piece of time?
Remember?
Remember the timing of the gift--cuz it was implicit. G-d's implicit timing....He works like that in this life you just about called 'mine'.

And what about the message written beneath the lighthouse, that beacon of hope/faith/light that reads:

We need to learn to set our course by the stars--not by every passing ship.

'Member that?!

Faith.
Hope.
Light.
Trust in the goodness of the journey.
All things you 'know'....all things you've opened my hands to let go of, off and on again, this week.

Apparently you felt the need to let go of 'em to shake your fist at the Big Guy a time or two--ungrateful, spoilt child that you can be at times....

(Sorry about that, Big Guy....dangit....did it again, huh?)


Faith.
Hope.
Light.
Trust.
HIS gift of life......to me.....

Toast?........geeze....
(yeah....it'll be a big deal again....I miss toast.....LOL)


Yaknow--someone sent me an itty bitty heart of pewter that I've left tucked away in a bitty fairy box....
I'm thinkin' I'll stick that in my pocket today and shove my hand in there every time I start to whine and carry on so I can remember how loved I truly am.

Fairy Dust

Live and speak with humility.

Put your energy into being your best, and don't waste it claiming to be something you're not.

Scrambled eggs and TOAST!

What would you like for breakfast, oh-light-of-my-life?

Scrambled eggs and TOAST, please....

Scrambled eggs and TOAST--I want scrambled eggs and TOAST.
TOAST.
I want scrambled eggs and TOAST.

I want scrambled eggs and TOAST, please.






RAWRRRR!!

*sniffle* Ohh...
Scrambled eggs and a V-8.

Ohhhhhhh....
Rawr.

Fine!!!!!

To compose our minds mean that we calm our emotions. Speaking in anger, frustration, or without careful thought, often leads to regret and misfortune. We cannot recall the hastily spoken word that destroys the friendship, crushes the heart, or ruins the trust. The thoughtfully spoken word eases pain, brings happiness, stimulates good will, creates courage, renews faith, bolsters a fallen ego, puts laughter in the heart and a sparkle in the eye. Intent is the key word in communication. If we intend that our words do not hurt but bring good cheer, we will speak in a manner that will see us rise high in the hearts of all with whom we communicate.

Are they NUTS?
WHATever...



Okay.....maybe there's more than one way to look at things....

I have a mouth. And I'm pretty convinced that G-d intends I should use it. LOL
Yes, I also have two ears.
Really. I do listen well--even if I don't 'obey'.

I'll do what I do.

Just cuz someone 'says'--doesn't mean I oughta 'do'.....it's just them sayin'....

And if I do opt for 'doing'--it's still a choice and I don't get to 'blame' someone for the doings.

Truth is....

My mouth gets me in trouble. (like that's a separate part that I'm not accountable for? DARN mouth.....)
Being the quick think that I am, I can't even play the "I didn't think" card.
I think very rapidly.
More than likely it's "I didn't care enough to exercise good judgement"....and sometimes it's even "I'm right, you're wrong--so pfffffffttttt, there ya go!!!"

Oops.
"Oops" my arse....

It's rare that I stumble into a 'mouth' problem that I didn't intend to create in the first place.
And if I can hide behind "I didn't think", then I can be the victim instead of the offender.
Then I can squiggle out of being accountable.....hopefully.....




Rawr.

I don't like when he's right and I'm wrong.

Save worthy

TFTD

One of the prohibitions many of us learned in childhood is the unspoken rule — don't have fun and enjoy life.

This rule creates martyrs — people who will not let themselves embrace the pleasures of day-to-day living.

Many of us even associated suffering with some sort of sainthood.

We can go through the day making ourselves feel anxious, guilty, miserable, and deprived.

Or we can allow ourselves to go through that same day feeling good.
We eventually learn the choice is ours.

There is much to be enjoyed each day, and it is okay to feel good.
We can let ourselves enjoy our tasks.
We can learn to relax without guilt.
We can even learn to have fun.

Work at learning to have fun.
Apply yourself with dedication to learning enjoyment.
Work as hard at learning to have fun as you did at feeling miserable.

Today's Thought

Time marches on.

There is purpose in how our lives unfold; the ups and downs serve our growth.

We must neither resent the doldrums nor savor too long the elation.

Giving too much attention to either state interferes with our awareness of the present.

And the present has come to teach us.

Trial Run

FYI
I'm going to the hospital, but highly doubt they'll keep me. Dr.'s office called to confirm my appointment tomorrow and I talked with the doctor about cramps that were keeping me up...so she told me to do a kick count and it came out at 6 in 2.5 hours. Sooooooo they want me to go in just to make sure things are okay. No contractions, no water broken, etc...so I'm pretty sure I won't be staying but--I'll let ya know!



Nope.
Of course I didn't panic.
And nope--I didn't start running around like a crazed woman.

YUP--of course I went. Duh. LOL Like I wouldn't show up?
Did she tell me it was totally 'unnecessary'.....uh huh....

No worries--I admitted it was all about me! LOL
I was honest--I told her it would make me feel better to show up and see that she was okay. I even told her I'd buy her coffee. (bribery never hurts.....LOL)

The Other Other Boy told me HE felt better that I showed up. Yup-- Leaned against the wall and actually looked relieved to see me. *laughing*
No doubt about it--The Other Other Boy deserves a medal for putting up with all that moody, cranky, emotional hormonal gunk she's dishing out. I definitely need to find one for him!

Nope--no baby.
But mom and baby are fine and all is well.

Plus-- I'm clear on the route and where to find the best parking.

:-)

AND I know where to go for a halfway decent cuppa coffee!!!!!!


Priorities, dontchaknow....

Oh look!! A chicken!!!!!

(and a smart one at that!)

Note: This might be an indication of just how focused I am this morning.

TFTD

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.

--Marcel Proust

.....rawr.......

So......like.....

Howscome I haffta redo budgety stuff when my budgety stuff was in the black?

I mean......shouldn't I oughta maybe kindasorta be given one of those 'please excuse Mel from redoing budgety stuff cuz her budget was in the black' passes?

I think I oughta get a 'please excuse Mel from redoing budgety stuff cuz her budget was in the black' pass.

Yeah, yeah.....I think they've confused me with one of The Three Muskateers with that 'one for all and all for one!' jazz......

I think I'm more about 'oh, PLEASE spare me from the evils of Microsoft Excel!' jazz.

Do they make passes for that?
......ohpleasepleasepleasesayyes......

.....rawr.....

I know, I know.

Go with the flow.

Consider this one of God's invitations to grow.

.....rawrrrr.....


And pffffffffffffftttttttt at that Wee Reading Fairy, too!
Rawr.

Today's Wee Fairy Thought

Flowing with whatever comes to us in life eases us through each day's demands.

When we resist change and the unfamiliar, we imprison ourselves and hide from God's invitations to grow.

Things that make me happy

....watching Gene Kelly dance.

....the super duper, changes colours and has a wheely thingy mouse.

....'fresh outta the dryer' towels.

....Crayola sudsy mudsy soap. *chuckling*

....leaving the cellphone at work. (I'll have to try that again!)

....three legged races.

....green things on the 'we chopped it off last fall' bugglia plant.

....frilly butts on wee baby things. :-)

Today's Reading

Are we giving because we want to, because it's our responsibility?

Or are we giving because we feel obligated, guilty, ashamed, or superior?


Are we giving because we feel afraid to say no?
Are the ways we try to assist people helpful, or do they prevent others from facing their true responsibilities?
Are we giving so that people will like us or feel obligated to us?

Are we giving to prove we're worthy?


Or are we giving because we want to give and it feels right?

Excuse me--it's required I do this somewhere before I hit the send button...

And the letter reads:



.....Then you wake up one day and the course of events in it change your whole life--

You close your eyes and your mind and try to pretend the circumstances aren't what they are--but there's this nagging 'knowing'....this 'you are not immortal.....there IS an end to this life you've called your own...'
It drops into your brain and sinks into your heart, tearing the breath from you as it echos in the crooks and the crannies inside your soul.

I felt it for days after the words were spoken--the presence of mortality, lurking, everpresent no matter the noise....

I laid in bed at night--the day chalked full of trying to do 'we now resume our regularly broadcast program' and 'acting as if' while my brain swam...knowing....KNOWING nothing was going to be forever, that there was an end to all of this....knowing time was short and I wasn't going to get to do some things I'd always taken as a 'given' that I'd get to do.
The day tasted different.
Things felt askew......nothing familiar and previously reliable FELT familiar or reliable anymore.

But everything turned upside down in the wee hours.
Left with sleeplessness the haze of reality infiltrated every cell, every breath.

What if I fell asleep and didn't awaken?
Would children find me.....who would care for them?
AndOhgawddd....what about those journals I'd held on to, packed away somewhere in the basement--the letters from long ago that would be discovered--

Wee hour plans for mass distruction of evidence of what once was a life.


Terror filled moments while I tried to play out how each person would handle not having me in their life. Orchestrations of how to care for them from the other side--what could I do NOW that would make it better for them after I was gone....easier, neater, cleaner.....

After I was gone....

Gone.
Final--
Deceased.
Dead.
No more.

What was dead?
Was there pain involved?
Who'd show up--who'd exit stage left when the dust settled and the deal was done.

Done.
Gone.
Final.
Left with nothing familiar.
Or nothing at all.
Just done?
As in you stop breathing and stop existing and you simply aren't any more?


The other day it dropped when you took that third nitro tablet --and it registered.
Three --and the pain goes away immediately....no more doubt about what you questioned with the first two.

And you opted to do nothing, said nothing....days passed and still--nothing .....and then you told on yourself....for a reason......
Told......

It's that awakening to the truth that you are not immortal......you will not live forever.
You'll leave this planet and there will be others left behind.
You don't want to hear it.
You don't want to think about it....

But ohgawddddd.....what about that box of stuff in the attic that you held on to--

You feel what you feel, what you're trying not to feel....
Numb with a foreign brand of fear you're just wrapping your head around the hard fact that time is short.
No one needs to tell you.

You know.......
It dropped from the head to the heart and sank until it tore the breath from you.......and it's echoing and bouncing off walls you didn't know where there.

There ARE walls.
You know that.
Maybe not until this very moment--but there are walls....





Now what?







And you can quit with the "you don't understand" any time now.....








Sometimes paths that get crossed for reasons are very uncomfortable paths.
That alters nothing, of course......

He's gonna hate me before he loves me.....


Yup. I paused.
I sat on it.

I've heard enough.
I can hit send now........

(for future reference, tyvm)

QOTW 4/20

What's on your kitchen counter(s)?


Oh, I'm soooooo glad I cleared the counters off last night! LOL

Of utmost importance--is the coffee pot. Yup.....black and shiny and WORKING! All the rest of the counter stuff---is just fluff!

k.....

Coffee pot. And the coffee tree that holds the most used cups.
Though, you do realize that changes WITH the seasons, of course.... JUST sayin'......

OH.....and there's the 'ready for use in the morning' coffee press for himself.
DECAFF coffee drinker that he is.... *rolling eyes* Whatever....

The sugar container--a cute little antique Ball jar with the wire sealing bar over the top. I like that little jar...dunno why....LOL......I just do.

Ah--the cookie jar wayyyyyyyyyy down at the other end. No cookies in it, of course. Himself has his stash of York Peppermint Patties in it. Beats me why this is his current obsession, it just is. (could be worse, that's for certain!)

k.

And on the side of the kitchen--microwave.
And a glass lookin' cutting board thingamabob on the other end of THAT side.

Oh.
And himself's cellphone that's charging.

And a shiny, fat red pen.

.....Which I'm claiming as MINE.

:-)

Ohhhhhh......brilliant tip on that one--

DEFINITELY mine!

I'm sure he brought it home just for me!

Whaddaguy!!!!
:-)

<-- likes bright shiny, fat red pens!!!!

Today's Fairy Reading

We all need a little humor in our lives and in the way we deal with life happenings.
For example, one of the first things we learn is to "take one day at a time."
This is very good advice, so we practice living that way.

Most days it works pretty well.
But once in a while it seems like we can't even handle one day.
We just can't handle everything that happens along the way, plus carry out our own plans for the day.

Perhaps we have to stop and change a flat tire.
Or a friend calls and needs help.
Or one of our kids has a meltdown in the grocery store.

Or maybe all those things happen in the same day!
That kind of day is a perfect excuse to take a deep breath, call a friend, and have a good laugh about it.
Now we realize that our days are not really 'ours'.

We can plan them, but we can't really control them.
That's just the way it is, and it's okay.

*nodding smugly*

Sleeping with Bread

I get all sorts of stuff swirling around in my head.

G-d help me--it's a lot of 'STUFF'...and it comes fast and furious when it comes.

I think too much. And I have a lifetime of 'stuff' to toss around in this brain......lots to draw from, lots to look at, lots to 'play with'. On any given day (just like the rest of the world), I can get more 'stuff' to contend with, to play with.
That's life.

I have this pattern I've developed.

Mostly it was borne from a need to have some semblance of order.....some control, some means of keeping things 'right sized' (meaning the size MEL thinks it oughta be).
And I don't want it coming out of my mouth until I have 'order' to it..until I have some kind of control over how it's being presented.

Of course that's all in attempts to control the reactions of others who will be getting the information so I can feel like it's as important/as trivial as I want it to be.

That's not an all bad thing. It's simply one of the methods to my madness. ;-)

It keeps things workable and doable and manageable for me.

Or at least it does in my mind's eye.

(and it's ALL about mememe, dontchaknow! LOL)

The rest of the world doesn't necessarily agree with me, of course.

I'd like to think they make mountains out of molehills and they like drama and crisis.
Just cuz something happens/happened doesn't mean it's 'bad'.
It just gets to happen! Or--it just happened! STUFF happens.

You get the information....STUFF happens--

You deal.....best you can, as it happens, as you're able, when you're able.
Some folks puke it out as it happens--I tend to hang on to it and put it into perspective.

MY perspective, of course.

And my perspective?
It's just a slice of bread--not a whole bakery on fire.

A slice.

And life is a bunch of slices of equal proportion.

Sometimes I assign a value to the slice I'm handed.

Some feel bigger.

Some feel like bitty morsels.

This is a good slice.

This--is a moldy, icky, ROTTEN slice.

It's a slice.

*sigh*

For me, I know it's a matter of what I'm giving my attention and my energy to........the slice or the loaf.

Some days, I ramble on about the slice.
And here has always been a safe place to go on about the slice--'good', 'bad', or indifferent. I've been known to go on and on and on.

Here gives me a place to put fingers to keyboard and, before I go about organizing and manipulating what an audience might conclude/how the audience might react, I just say what's true--hit publish post and go about my day.
There are other days I pause before hitting publish post and wonder how it'll be received. (there's that silly pattern of mine in action!)

I do more of saying what's true than I do of pausing and critiquing and redoing and trying to manipulate the perceptions of the people who might frequent here.
Afterall, the people who stop in are welcomed here--they're the jams that top the slice. A bit of sweetness to whatever slice I'm dealing in at any particular moment in time.

Whatever slice I'm dealing in.

It's a slice.


If I keep my eye on the slice, I'm hungry and wanting.



I think I'll keep my eye on the loaf.

TFTD

. . . concern should drive us into action and not into depression.--Karen Horney

If a situation in our lives causes concern, be it mild disgruntlement or serious frustration, we should understand that our concern indicates that we need to act responsibly.

Events that attract our attention need our action.

Our actions can take many forms.

Occasionally we will be called upon to take charge of a situation.

More often, offering emotional support to another is all that's needed.

Perhaps most frequently, our prayers are enough.

There is always a proper response to any circumstance that causes us concern.

If we choose no response, our inaction will only heighten our concern and preoccupation will hinder the day's activities.

My actions today will reflect my concerns and be appropriate to the need.

Wait...wait....WAIT

Whaddaya MEAN they'll set an induce date IF she hasn't gone by then.



IF SHE HASN'T GONE BY THEN?!?





O
M
G

.......'cuse me?




<-- dialing phone frantically now!!!!!

The girl's email......

UH oh.......

I think I'm getting excited...




....Anywho - went to the Dr on Wednesday. No change from last time except that she's dropped more. Next appointment is on Friday the 24th where they're going to talk about when they'll plan to induce me if I haven't gone on my own by then. None of it sounds fun. I'm ready to be done, but I'm not ready to go through labor -- can there just be a magic solution?!?!

As an FYI -- don't forget we are planning to call ya when I do go into the hospital. I don't have much intent of bringing you into the room to have to survive through me swearing and screaming and yelling at TOOB - but I do want to make sure you get a phone call so you can head up and at least be at the hospital. I might in the moment change my mind and decide I want you around for a few seconds, then again, I might decide I want TOOB to go away and take the whole world with him at some point too. I might just want MY MOM. Who the heck knows. Either way, you'll be getting a phone call/text message and/or both at multiple numbers when that moment happens :)

The hospital has the waiting areas right outside the doors of the rooms where ya give birth, as well as the main waiting area in the lobby. I'm trying to tell anyone and everyone else to stay the heck away from the door where I'll be at (I'm sure I won't care in the moment, but while I'm not in labor and can think about it - I don't like the idea of friends waiting and listening in on all of that cursing and swearing and name calling and threatening...oh boy.....). I'm going to check with the nurses to see if they can't ask anyone that might show up to wait in the main lobby, but I'll have you wait closer to the door, if you're ok with that - or at least keep your phone handy if you go to the lobby. At the very least, I'll need you there to tell everyone else to GO AWAY. Besides, being there will give you good blackmail material for later on. So make sure you show up.

Uhh.. yep, that's about all I know.... Gonna go take a bubble bath and relax. Sadly though, my belly sticks up over the water. Even my boobs fit underwater... but not the belly. Grr!


*laughing laughing laughing!!!!!*

Oh, she IS her mother's child!!!!!!


Well.....with everything 'cept the boobs bit.


ROFLMAO!!!!!

C'mout C'mout wherever you are!!!!

Patio time happened yesterday.

It was a grand thing, sitting in the sun, swinging on the patio swing.

Himself, who suffers (and I do mean suffers) from allergies, joined me.
How sweet was that?!


It was a guilty pleasure.
Not that patio time is a guilt filled activity. Normally--it's not.
Yesterday, I made it one....I'd gone home ill Thursday evening and it stretched into Friday morning with a half a headache.
I just didn't seem to be able to gather the energy (or desire) to work with it--so I went in, took care of a few things and got out while the getting was good.


If you're sick on Friday, you don't show your face to the outside world all weekend, right? (one more testimony of Mel's rigid thinking, maybe?)
Himself convinced me it was perfectly 'okay' to patio sit......and he'd rubber stamp it by sitting with me. (whadda guy, huh?)

So we sat on the swing, in the sun...and the critters were greatly disturbed, despite my familiar greetings to each and every one of them.

C'mere Mr. Bunny! C'mon......c'mere!!

Helllllllllloooooooo Harry!
Helllllllllloooooooo Sally!!

Helllllllllloooooooo Dudes!!

Helllllllllloooooooo Gus birdies!!!!

C'mout c'mout wherever you are, Frank!!!!



Rawrrrrrr......



Mr. Bunny wouldn't even venture into the yard.
Talking scared the Gus birdies away, Harry and Sally were skiddish and yakking unhappily about our presence, the Nut Hatchery Dudes wouldn't even look at me......and Frank--was nowhere to be seen.

*sigh*
Winter undoes all my efforts in shared time with the critters.

Guess that just means that more patio time is required. (Oh dear! What a shame!)


Yes.....the neighbors think I'm over the edge.


Hey......maybe it's cuz himself was with me!!!!!!
Oh...... That would be sad.....

k......

Today I will begin to learn how to love myself.

I will begin by simply looking in the mirror and saying out loud, "I am lovable."

It may sound silly and feel even sillier, but only because I don't believe it's true.

I will practice doing this at least once every day.

The more I practice, the more comfortable it will feel.

Eventually, I will believe it to be true.

I am lovable.

Black and White

I have trouble with shades of gray.

I'm much more content in the 'black and white'.

Even in the face of adversity--especially in the face of adversity....I'm good with 'black and white'.

It's that darn gray that gets me near every time.....

TFTD

You won't hurt anyone else by enjoying who you are and what you're doing.

Even when there's no good reason to enjoy life, enjoy it anyway.

Discover the delightful truth that joy is its own best reason.

Did I mention I got gifted THIS?!

From a lovely lady, indeed.....

G'head....laugh......

Stay outta arms reach when ya do it though--I have a mighty long scepter in hand!

;-)



That's 'QUEEN' Mel, tyvm!

Did I mention the new train?

WE got a new train!

It has bells and whistles and everything!

Today's Thoughts

What are you telling yourself that's holding you back?

What are you telling yourself that's preventing you from being happy?
What are you telling yourself that gives you permission to be less than your very best?

What are you telling yourself that gives you an excuse for not taking action?

Every moment of every day you're interpreting the world for yourself, telling yourself what it means and what to do about it.

Each time you tell yourself something, you have an opportunity to make a lasting impact on your life.
So tell yourself yes.

Tell yourself that you can choose a life of joy and fulfillment right now.

Tell yourself that you're fully capable of whatever you decide to achieve today.....

Purposefulness

There's a purposefulness to things as circumstances change.
Not just 'reasons'....but purposefulness.

Good comes from it, even if indirectly.

I'll remember that as I go out into the day today.
And I'll try to kvetch less....

...most of those things that happen to you, happen because of you.

TRY, I said! :-P Pfffffffffffttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!

*limping* Yeah, yeah......

Everything in your life is the result of one thing or another.

You can't avoid consequences but you can place yourself in a position to celebrate the consequences.

Choose and do, wisely.
And remember--most of those things that happen to you, happen because of you.

Bridge without a train

Things that make me happy

....smooth, flat 'skipping' rocks.

....new jammies made from bamboo. (they're GREAT when you're doing nightsweats!)

....finishing a sudoku all by myself!!

....the smell of an antique shop.

....swapping out the winter coat for a spring jacket.

....quilt wrapped, patio swing moments.

....making wind-up toys go. And go. And go and go and go...LOL

Today's Thought......

Do not be in too much of a hurry to begin.

Begin, but do not force the beginning if it is not time.

Beginnings will arrive soon enough.

Enjoy and relish middles, the heart of the matter.


Do not be in too much of a hurry to finish.
You may be almost done, but enjoy the final moments.
Give yourself fully to those moments so that you may give and get all there is.

Let the pace flow naturally.

Move forward.

Start.

Keep moving forward.

Do it gently, though.





Do it in peace.

Funny how that happens....

Yup.....jammies made from bamboo, Mr. Potato bag chip holder thingy, bugs for the windows AND a crabby guy that walks sideways and waves his crabby claws.

Yeah, yeah......there was 'stuff' for himself, too--but my toys are cooler!

Nah nah nah nah nahhhhhhhh nah!!
Pfffffffffffftttttttt!!!!!


(this on a day I came home early and took meds for backpains...*sigh* Whatzupwiththat?!)

QOTW 4/13

The last three people you hugged---and why.



The Brit--like I need a reason?!

Those are the last three hugs....does that count?


Don't MAKE me give more than that...LOL I'll look like a mushbucket!

Today's reading...

We relinquish our tight hold and our need to control in our relationships.

We take responsibility for ourselves; we allow others to do the same.

We detach with the understanding that life is unfolding exactly as it needs to, for others and ourselves.

The way life unfolds is good, even when it hurts.

And ultimately, we can benefit from even the most difficult situations.

We do this with the understanding that a Power greater than ourselves is in charge, and all is well.

Untitled Darkness

(Archived from a book in a box in the closet)

Tonight is no different than yesterdays’ night.
It is night--no more, no less……..

Minutes tossed together transform into hours.

Hours.
Hours when one is commanded to rest.....


I do not rest well these days.

I do not listen well these days.

I do not hear commands or obey... these days.


Rest will come when it comes.

Hours will not dictate that.
Darkness will not dictate that......

Sleeping with bread.....

....Spirituality..... is rather a combination of principles and qualities which is reachable by anyone, but rare because society fails to prize or emphasize their development — just as acquiring a “classical education” takes both knowing what it is and recognizing its importance.

So gaining spiritual qualities may well mean defying the will and customs of one’s family and community.

But when one comes to appreciate these qualities, and regard their cultivation as the highest good, one is drawn as if by gravity to those experiences and awarenesses that allow them to bear fruit.

So what are some of these qualities?

1. FAITHFULNESS. Which may have nothing to do with religious belief, mind you. I am reminded of Tonto’s expression “Kemo Sabe,” supposed to mean “faithful friend.” Faithfulness means you can be readily relied upon, and comfortably trusted. There is a consistency and continuity to your effort, and you don’t back out just because of inconvenience. You “keep faith.”

2. GRATITUDE AND CONTENTMENT. You appreciate nature’s gifts and others’ kindnesses. You enjoy what you have even when striving for more.

3. HUMILITY. Neither to grovel or be low. You know your true position, and don’t need ego-strokes to do the right thing or flattery to feel appreciated.

4. KINDNESS. You enjoy being gentle and loving, even to a lost bug.5. FORGIVENESS. You give up your right to stay angry and get even. You recognize that holding a grudge only serves to poison you.

6. HUMOR AND CHEERFULNESS. You see what is absurd, you are amused rather than thrown by the preposterous, and you enjoy arousing smiles and joy.

7. TOLERANCE AND PATIENCE. You can accept others’ differences, forgive their foolishness, and wait for them to change on their own schedule, not yours.

8. OBSERVANCE AND INSIGHT. This is not to observe ritual, but rather to observe nature, people, and your own inner processes. You are watchful of pattern and sensitive to real motives; you see to the heart of the matter.

9. PRODUCTIVENESS. Your actions are useful and purposeful. Even in recreation you engage in a little creation. While some goofing off is refreshing and even desirable, a life of goofing off is not your ambition.

10. PEACEFULNESS. It is more important to you to be serene than to be right or to be noticed. You gain an immunity to the nervousness of others.

11. BALANCE. You enjoy a little of everything, but none too much. You can learn to stop yourself before becoming obsessive or uncentered.

12. SANITY. Your values are consistent, life-affirming and human-scaled. You show integrity, honor, graciousness and decency. You have a realistic sense of what you can do and what you can’t do; and you can admit error.

13. WISDOM. You see the spirit in others, even when they’re trying to hide it. You are not easily fooled by the world of appearances. You know yourself, accept yourself, and embrace life. You know when to shut up.

14. PRINCIPLE. You have a blueprint for thought and behavior. You see the wisdom of acting on principle and the consequences (however occult) of betraying your principles. It is more important to you to do right than to be right; to do good than to feel good; to be courageous and grasp for more understanding and enlightenment rather than be thought well of and admired.

By this standard, there are people (I’ve met them) who would not meet a single qualification of the “true believer,” but are undoubtedly spiritual. Spiritual is as spiritual does. God knows the heart; we can but guess.

c. 1999 David L. Hecht


Far better said than I ever could have said, this is what I ran across when I was looking for something else.

I'm grateful I couldn't find what I was looking for....I'd guess I wasn't suppose to.....
This is the bread I shall sleep with this evening.....this week.

I hope each and all had a glorious weekend of celebration--one that brought you peace and a renewed sense of hopefulness.

A washing away of the old......

Whataboutthemom....

Yeah....I'm thinkin' baby will get bunches and lotsa and OODLES!!


I best be thinkin' about the mom.....

Yup.
Care package for the mom.

Smelly stuff--lotions and pretties and ....... pampering things.

*nodding*

I seem to recall being a MESS after that one showed up.
All I wanted was something cold to drink and for people to leave me the heck alone!

Yup....smelly stuff, pretties and fun things.


<-- started the gift bag!!

TFTD

You cannot avoid responsibility.

You can either suffer the painful consequences of ignoring it, or you can enjoy the benefits of acknowledging and accepting it.
You are responsible for your life and for the world around you.

When you feel the full extent of that responsibility, and connect it to your purpose, you can do truly amazing things.

Why would you want to accept responsibility for circumstances that are not of your making? Because responsibility gives you the power to change things.
Even if you didn't create the situation, you can still make the very best of it.
Responsibility is not some burden that is heaped upon you.
Responsibility is a powerful, effective tool that moves your world in the direction of your choice.

OH!! OH!!!! :-)

<-- this nifty mug got located for himself's Bunny Basket.

It left it in the car so himself wouldn't go sneak-peeking under the bed like someone ELSE mightacouldasorta done when someone ELSE was looking for her other ducky slipper. (k.....that's MOSTLY true.....LOL)

Hidden in the car with the nifty keeno mug was the green foil wrapped Godiva chocolate bunny----until this week when I decided I best get it inside the house and in the Bunny Basket before it got to warmer out.
I wanted to eliminate the chance that the car would get so warm that it would turn the poor green foil wrapped bunny into some strange mutant chocolaty blob!
GOOD thinking, huh?!

Yeah.....well.....
Did you know it can be 40 degrees outside and 80 degrees inside your car if the sun's shining on it?

<-- knows this!

k......knows this NOW......

<-- knows himself will love the mug AND the mutant green foil wrapped chocolaty blob.

Today's adventure brought to you by.....

Pieces of washed up wood....
...and rocks and sand and burbly water....
....Sponsored by the river.....
Which was mirroring the gorgeously blue sky, of course!

WHICH the geesies took great delight in--paddlin' around in the shiny waters....

As did we....

Well, as did I!

Himself had an aversion to paddling in the water.
Wanted to stay dry, dontchaknow....
(and warm--it was only 55 degrees out...technicality!!)

:-/

Oops?