Bug-free

Boy is it quiet in this house....

Probably just as well.
Seems I broke a toe yesterday.
Seems someone moved the patio swing.

k....no one REALLY moved the patio swing, but I'm sayin' they did just to implicate himself cuz I can....

I hobbled around today after her.
We did a picnic AND we got to play in the park!

Very cool toys in the park, I might add.

Only Nana couldn't partake in the sliding and climbing and STUFF.

Which only means we'll haffta go again, dontchaknow.....

That face lit up like you wouldn't believe when she saw the other other boy..... He's a good dad. An involved dad in love with his little girl.
And I made sure I let him know that.

It's something the girl didn't grow up having.

The girl's dad was emotionally absent, so it's really really good to watch something different happen for the bug. Makes my heart happy....

In the meantime--BOY is it quiet.
And BOY are we tired....

"She watched the Jeep drive off and waved and said 'bye bye' til she couldn't see it anymore."

Awwwwww....see how loved we are?!

She'll be back on Saturday....she's spending the night! She's got a parade to watch bright and early-- and cookout for the 4th at Nana's house.

:-)

Ohhhhh....and we can pull the pool out.

And get the bubbles going.
And maybe go to the park!

We've got two days to rest up...LOL

Fairy Dust

"You can't fill a spiritual void with a physical object. Because you are a spiritual being living in a material world, your deeper needs for love and connectedness can never be satisfied in purely material terms."

....choo choooooo!!!! :-)

She is NOT spoilt....she's just well loved.

We bought a 'fairy house' today.
Well, we bought a 'fairy house' for the bug's house--the other other boy'll pick it up and assemble it with no help from me. *laughing* That's probably a good thing.

Himself has decided it's 'disallowed' to take me to Toys-R-Us.
Dunno why he'd say that...'cept for the 'oh LOOK....a whistle!......blocks!.....oohhhh....thingies that change colour....OH...a whole AISLE of crayons and chalks and STUFF!'
Well, that and possibly the 'fairy house'....

It's got a doorbell and a table and chair and EVERYthing! :-)

She'll love it, I'm sure.
It mighta had something to do with the train, too. Or the boats for the paddle pool......

OH! The train is really, really cool.
It comes apart and has shapes and colours and you stack 'em and it's wood and granddad said he'd put a pull thingy on it so it'll follow her around!
That's when we take it outta the packaging.
Which we'll do today.
Cuz we played with boats last night....

k....Toys-R-Us might be a bad place......

BUT!
The 'fairy house' was on sale.
And she needs outside toys.

"A ball would have worked, Mel."

Yeah, yeah, yeah....but there's a table and chairs and a doorbell and EVERYthing!

Oh look!!!! A train with shapes and colours and STUFF! :-)

Fairy Reading

When we make amends we need to be clear about what we're apologizing for and the best way to say we're sorry. What we are really doing with our amends is taking responsibility for our behavior. We need to be sure that the process itself will not be self-defeating or hurtful.

Sometimes, we need to directly apologize for a particular thing we have done or our part in a problem. Other times, instead of saying I'm sorry, what we need to do is work on changing our behavior with a person.

There are times when bringing up what we have done and apologizing for it will make matters worse.

We need to trust timing, intuition, and guidance in this process of making amends. Once we become willing, we can let go and tackle our amends in a peaceful, consistent, harmonious way. If nothing feels right or appropriate, if it feels as if what we are about to do will cause a crisis or havoc, we need to trust that feeling.

We deserve to be at peace with ourselves and others.
Help me know I am not diminishing my self-esteem by taking personal responsibility; I am improving it.

Breakfast with Granddad....

It was a 'let's go for breakfast' kinda moment.

You know many folks who travel two hours for breakfast? LOL
Yeah, well....we did.

Breakfast....a walk about and a listen to a street performer. (not bad, I might add--breakfast and the fella on the guitar)

We hit the park and had a wander around the gardens.

They're gorgeous--and the fountains are extremely peaceful, even with a giggling bug present.

AND we saw trains.

(Go figure...LOL)
The engineer even blew his whistle and waved at the bug.

Yup....she's now smitten. (there's yet another 'go figure'....LOL)


AND we shopped in the cute little shops.
....and found duckies.

:-)

There were too many cute ones and neither the bug nor I couldn't decide.

Ah well...if some is good more is better!

LOL GO figure! ;-)

Today's Fairy Thought

Getting angry can sometimes be like leaping into a wonderfully responsive sports car, gunning the motor, taking off at high speed and then discovering the brakes are out of order.
--Maggie Scarf

Anger can multiply our difficulties in many situations. All of us can look back and remember times when we only made our problems worse because we stepped on the gas and lost all ability to use the brakes.

Now we are growing into more adulthood. We are learning to manage our feelings and use them well. This doesn't happen overnight. We would do well to recall how energized we have felt when we let our anger fly and how much we loved that energy at the moment. Only later did we face the damage we caused. Saying we are sorry isn't enough: we must also be willing to take on the harder task of changing our behavior. When we accept that we love the power and the energy of our anger and aggression, we can begin to rein it in and take charge of it rather than be ruled by it.

Today I will not indulge in the pleasure of anger allowed to run wild.

Child Labor of Love

So.... All play and no work makes Nana a....
Hold on....
Whose theory is that?!

*ahem*

Let's talk the joy of having a house guest for the week.

I have help with some of the work around the old homestead.
This is a good thing!
So ooooI got help with the flowers (we have a bazillion or two to tend to--ONLY CUZ THERE WAS A SALE ON CLAY POTS....more than once......)

And because of the storms we've had (despite the rains we've had) the patio was a disaster! 65-75mph winds'll do that. So--I got help with the chairs...and tables.
Yeah......well....I'm sure child labor laws are applicable to 13 month olds...but don't they haffta be victims and not volunteers? I did tell her she had to stay on the patio...but geeze..did she have to stand there at the edge like she was being held captive?!
(I sent that one to her mama...*snickering* Sick and wrong, I know!)
k....so she MIGHTA took me a tad serious when I told her we were cleaning the patio.
(sent THAT photo on to the mama as well. )

But she did do a fine job.....I must say. LOL

Along with the incriminating photos of the poor child who was made to work in the hot sun of the patio, I've photographic evidence that the same poooooor child was provided with drinks and was allowed a paddle in the pool after the hard labor.

No photo of the icey fruity sticks she ate/wore/put up her nose. LOL

Some things you just do NOT want to capture in a photo.

And yup...heard from the girl (aka 'the mama') just minutes after sending off the email with the photos.
Noooooo......She wasn't the least bit concerned. ROFL

Check, check and check again....

Candles--check!

Flashlights--check!

Bedding--
Bedding?
She'll need a place to sleep.
Right. Bedding--check!

Water--
There's a sink downstairs--all the accommodations, silly.
What if the pipes burst when the tornado hits. They do that you know.
Burst pipes....Right. Water--check! It's a watch, NOT a warning. Good grief.... It's not like they've sighted one and it's on the way to THIS yellow house on the corner.... Yeahyeahyeah...water....check!

Juice and food.
Juice and food.....right. Lemme add that. Any particular food item--I mean it's not like she's a fussy eater....look at the little chubbutt!...k.... Juice. Food. Oy brother--Check!

And diapers and clothing--oh, and the wubbie and binkie.
Right. Diapers and all the necessary 'stuff' for changing thereof. Clothing...anything in particular? How about that cute little searsucker sundress? OH...and G-D forbid we'd forget the wubbie and binkie!! Check, check, check, check!

Toys. Just a few.
k......NOW we're talkin'!!!! Woooohoooo!!!!
I meant FOR THE BUG.

Oh yeah....I see how it is.
I can go naked, STARVE and be bored to death in the event of a tornado striking the house.... CHECK.
(Rawr.)

Reminder from the fairy....

Even when we are most out of control, there is always logic operating in our lives. B follows A, and D comes after C. The logical pattern doesn't cease to exist just because we're not aware of it.

This is how it works: We learned to meet our needs in ways that were modeled for us. Some of us learned to apologize, to play dumb, to manipulate, to rant and rave, to deny ourselves legitimate pleasure, or to lust after those things and people that would only cause us pain. That's A.

What we practice we become, and what we become stays with us. That's B and C. There are totally logical reasons for doing what we do and for thinking the way we think. That's D.

Logic isn't lacking. What the logic is based on is what causes us problems. What we learned to practice may very well not be working. But why we continue to practice makes all the sense in the world.

Today, I pray for the wisdom to recognize my patterns.

Patio Paddlin'

This is the VISP waiting. She'd already charmed granddad....and one has to do something while one waits for 'stuff' to be rounded up.
So she threatened to catch bugs in the catcher.

k....she was just playing with anything as she ate the breadstick that granddad tried to appease her with.
Nana showed her the pool in the package. *snickering*

'Patience' was the word coming outta granddad's mouth....hahaha

One Very Important Small Person consuming one very soggy breadstick as granddad took his time inflating a pool. She was very patient, I might add. Only tried to climb into it three times before it was fully inflated.

Ain't talking about how many times after....LOL
She was 'testing' to make sure it was doable.
'Supervising', dontchaknow....




Hoses are too slow, I'm told.
Back and forth, back and forth. Pullin on grandad who was supervising the supervising.


She mighta whined a bit.
Nana just laughed. LOL

What a pair...I tell ya...



And when the pool got filled--STILL with the 'wait'.

Granddad said it was too cold.
Granddad lugged water out of the house--hot water which got added to make the pool 'just right'.

Kinda sounds like the Three Little Bears story, huh?
Yeah, well...it's not like she's spoilt by the granddad.

*Laughing!*

She was rather excited about the water--not so excited about the wait.





Trip number three of hot water involved duckies.

Yup--duckies.

He couldn't help himself.
And she was beside herself.
Water AND duckies.

And 'wait'?!

Yeah.....uh huh....like THAT was gonna happen!

Did she climb in the pool with her clothes on?



Duh!


We did manage the swimsuit--after much whining and carrying on.
Should we have done that while granddad was attending to the pool?

NO. *laughing*

And missed all the fun of her and granddad working it out?
No way. *laughing*


Did she enjoy paddlin' in the little pool on the patio?



Yup!

Did she carry on when granddad emptied it and deflated it?

YUP!
ON the patio, sprawled out just a crying that silent cry....real tears even.....

Did Nana point out to granddad he made her day and broke her heart..and created the need for a repeat scenario?
Yup.

Why he deflated the pool is beyond me. (coulda just placed it in the garage still inflated, dontchaknow....)
But I'm sure round two of doing it all over again will be just as entertaining. :-)

TFTD

If we cannot tolerate our mistakes, we will never be able to move on from this place. If we do not step up to the plate with bat in hand, we will grow old without knowing what first base is like.

Life is a risk. A committed relationship is a risk. Letting ourselves go, voicing opinions, telling our deepest feelings, playing frivolously at the park, setting aside our carefulness with each other and sometimes falling flat on our faces -- all these things give us the pleasure of being alive. If we insist on playing it safe, then we never feel the thrill of the game. Our lives with each other become flat and empty if we do not take some risks. We have a right to be weak as well as strong; a right to be respected when we feel silly as much as when we appear dignified; a right to say what we believe even if it is half-baked. The greatest mistake is never to engage life.

Think of one thing you would like to do if you could set aside all judgments and evaluations.

Today's thought.....

We are creatures of habit as evidenced by our getting stuck in old viewpoints long after they have quit serving us. However, that fact doesn't restrict us for all time. Anytime we want to cultivate a new idea, an alternative approach to a situation, we are free to do so. We are capable of freshening our perspective at any time.

We have all known some elderly men and women who have the spirit and enthusiasm of the very young. Unfortunately, we have also known the reverse. How sad to observe the 40 or 50 year old person who has quit living. Their whining belies their age. Who will we be? The choice is always available to us. And we can remake it as often as we wish.

What a relief to know that if we're old and resentful today, we still have the opportunity to be young and full of laughter tomorrow. Maybe we can't do everything we used to do, but this decision is still in our power.

I will open my eyes to whatever I choose to see today. Yesterday's experiences have only the power I give them.

Oh my......

<-- the bug on the patio.

OH my.

It always seems to be a case of me warning himself.

That's because I see the bug darn near weekly, one way or another! I'm privy to the burst of 'whatever' for the week. He--is not. And ironically, I can tell himself.....but it's a whole different thing when it's time to experience it. *laughing*

She's a 'warp speed', 'go til ya drop' kinda kiddo right now. And you best not even think about turning your back on her. She's off and running, investigating and having a gay ol' time of it.
OH my. *laughing*

It's all good.

He's been doing a countdown for the past 10 days for crying out loud. And she's here for six/seven days--so it's not like he won't get quality time and there's some rush to cram in a whole lot in a wee bit of time.

And did I mention there's an inflatable pool involved in all this. OH yes....can't come to Nana's and Granddad's without a pool! (yeah...it wasn't my idea....really!) (k...mighta been.)
....ummmm...maybe this is where I mention there's little pools and a decision has to be made on 'which one'?

Or....maybe it's about BOTH!!

Whoa....she could venture between 'em both! One sprays water--so it could grass could get watered at the same time! I mean, think about it...what a DEAL!

k.....I'll have to work one...probably not gonna sell him on the 'grass watering angle' when we've just had our first day of sunshine in -- a bit and a bit more. *laughing*

I'll work on it!

I mean--if you inflate 'em you haffta keep 'em, right? :-D

Thought for the Day

When our minds are on the past, we miss out on the conversation or the activity that is going on around us.

Every moment of the day is special and guaranteed to help us grow and understand life. All of us have been taught to pay attention in school or when others talk to us. But we should also pay attention to the birds, the sky, even the grass. And we can learn a lot by paying attention to the conversations going on around us and to the small voice inside us that helps us know right from wrong.

What's going on today is enough to pay attention to.

Am I ready to pay attention to what is around me today?

The inbetween.....

And once again--storms.

Power's on...power's off.

Internet.
No internet.

And wanna talk flash flood?
I guess we talk the girl who was taking the bug to 'urgent care' for a viral infection with a temp--who stopped along the road to tend to the bug....and looked out the window to discover she was surrounded. Darn lucky that girl..coulda discovered she was floating with it. She and the bug are safe--but the car....notsomuch.

No plant watering required today either....
Not a whole lot of rest when they start at 1:30am -- but whaddaya gonna do!

Hope for rainbows! LOL
And unplug the computer......again....

TFTD

When a man says, "I can't!" he is commanding his unconscious self to be helpless. When he has a picture in his mind of moving toward his goal, he may say, "It's hard, but I'm going to give it my best effort." If, every time he makes a mistake, he mutters berating statements to himself like, "You idiot! You can't do anything right," he is teaching himself to be inadequate.

It's our responsibility to use respectful, honest, health-giving words. We can no longer use defeating, shaming, or derogatory words. Our language has a hypnotic effect on us and the people around us. Let's meet our difficulties with our strength, our patience and our own backing.

Summer's 1st

QOTW 6/22

Do you have any strange phobias?

Heck, I don't think they're strange...
I'd wager other folks might smirk a bit....but trust me--I ain't smirkin'....

O
M
G

I don't DO junebugs.
Ever.
If there's one in the vacinity--I'm outta there! Himself has stopped taunting and teasing about 'em....I vacate and lock myself in the house in short order. I don't DO junebugs.

Oh.
I've trained several trusted individuals to call me if they've spotted a killer junebug so I'm forwarned.
And.....I hesitate to mention it..but....During junebug alerts I've been known to call ahead and ask the homeowner to turn off the porch lights to ensure safe passage into the building.

Yup.
Seriously.

O
M
G......

Today's Reading

When there's something you don't know, be thankful. You have just discovered an opportunity to learn. When difficulties come your way, be thankful. They put you in a position to grow and to become stronger. If you run up against your limitations, be thankful. You've just found a place to make improvements.

When you become tired and weary, be thankful. You know you've made a difference. If you make a mistake, be thankful. Now you'll remember clearly what not to do.

Sleeping with Bread

It feels like a division because it is a division...
He's there. I'm here.

There's nothing unusual about that. It's how our relationship started. It was a rocky start. His 'there' and my 'here' was convenient. Welcomed even. I didn't have to include

him in my day today life. There was a time to include him and a time to get on with the rest of life and not be 'bothered' to have to answer to him, to consult him, to be accountable to him. I didn't have to share anything if I didn't feel like it. I could choose what to share with him....and choose what not to. There was a separateness, a division. I liked it that way. I liked having free reign on doing life as I'd always done it....plus having that added benifit of having him around if that's what I wanted. I didn't have to do things different to have him in my life. He was there. I was here. I could dabble in having a 'relationship' with him. I could chose to rely on him. I could chose to involve him or not. Him there, me here was a very private thing. Nobody knew there was a 'him' in my life. I could carry on as normal, no questions asked--no one the wiser. I didn't have to answer questions or deal with reactions. Everybody has an opinion--and I wanted no ones.

Him there. Me here.
It worked well for me then.
Notsomuch today....

I invited him into my life--I moved him from where he was to here and committed myself in the relationship.

If there's a division in the relationship it's because I put it there.
Go back and change the 'him' to 'Him'.

THAT's truth all the way around...

The examen, based on the spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius, helps a person hold onto what spiritually nourishes him by looking at what is giving him consolation in his life or causing him desolation. It allows someone to express his gratitude to God for the good stuff and turn to him for solace for the bad stuff.

Fairy Reminder

There is someone who controls your every move. There is someone who decides whether you will succeed or fail, whether you will persist or give up.

There is someone who tells you when to get up in the morning, what to eat and what to wear. There is someone who determines what career you'll follow, who your friends will be, and what you'll do with your time.

That person is you. The control you have over your own thoughts and actions can be one of your most valuable assets.

The way you've controlled yourself in the past has brought you to where you are this moment. More importantly, the way you control yourself now, and in the days to come, can take you any place you wish to go.

Stormy weather....

It's that on again, off again jazz. One moment it's sunny and hot and muggy. The next moment you've got wonderful clouds and RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!! moments. Well, not really that dramatic--but pretty darn impressive.

Himself offered to take me out in the midst of one cell for photo taking--until the lightening cracked down a tree a block away. *laughing*
I did suggest that perhaps G-d was trying to tell him something...

So no roamings this weekend--other than a ride at sunset once the storm had clearly moved to the north.
But the garden is weeded.
Yard is mowed.

Laundry's put away. (I do sooooo enjoy folding...NOT!)
I even had internet service off and on yesterday! (which is a bit touch and go with all the storms that have been happening!)

And today--yup--more storms in the forecast, more rain.
More flash flooding, no doubt.
But more opportunities to watch awesome clouds!

And with luck, we'll avoid the ugliest parts.
Or....at least get some really cool photos? LOLOL

Thought for the Day

When you decide that something is difficult, you're sending a message to yourself that you expect to struggle with it. And whatever you expect, you are indeed likely to get.

What usually makes something difficult is your reluctance to do it. Even the most complex challenge can seem relatively easy when you're sincerely enjoying yourself as you work your way through it.

The way to make your work easier is not by avoiding it or resenting it. The way to make your work easier is by embracing it with gratitude and enthusiasm.

Before the storm

Yup--it got a bit ugly...

Ah well...spared me from having to water the plants? LOL

TFTD

Happiness is not something you can go out and get. Real happiness does not have to depend on creating a certain set of circumstances.

Happiness is a way you can choose to be. And you can simply choose it at any time, in any circumstance.

After the storm

This time next week....

Okay.

It's started already.
There's juice boxes, bags of cheese stick--and ice cream bars. k....the ice cream bars may be more about him....
I can hang with the cheese sticks. This time of year, they're handy to grab for patio time.

Oh. And there's animal crackers, cheesey fish crackers and wee boxes of raisins.

I'm sure I'll be finding all sorts of interesting things in the fridge realllll soon.

The bug is coming.
For five days, no less.
The girl is taking off for parts unknown (well, parts KNOWN but still...) and the other other boy has travel in his work week as well.

What's a granddad to do?!
Of course, raise his hand and suggest perhaps WE could have the bug while they're doing what they're required to do.
WE'll have the bug. I'm thinkin' it'll be closer to a week than five days--but that's just a wild guess.
I mean, the girl hasn't had her 'weekend off' yet this month....and as long as we're taking the bug....why not, right? :-/

Oh--the things I'll find in the refridgerator.
And the things we'll NEED for entertainment purposes.
I heard something about an inflatable pool.......and a wagon.....and going to the ice cream joint. (yes, himself likes ice cream....can ya tell!)

I, on the other hand--will work. Well, at least part of the time.
I did ask for the whole time off.
However, with him being sooooooo ambitious about the 'keeping of the bug'..I thought a day or two of 'just the bug and granddad' would be a good life lesson.

Might backfire on me....he informed me they could go fishing.
I wonder if he realizes what she'd do with the worms......

Towards the day's end

Fairy Reading

Even if you have nothing else, you have something more precious than the purest gold, more rare and desirable than the brightest diamond. You have life.

You can sense, you can think and you can reason. You can make decisions and then act on them.

You can make a difference, no matter what. Even if you were to lose everything else, you would still retain the ability to become the person you decide to become and to live in the way you have determined to live.

Sun's up--new day

Another Reminder

Today, I will deliberately refuse to get caught up in the shame floating around in the world. If I cannot resist it, I will feel it, accept it, and then be done with it as quickly as possible. God, help me know that it's okay to love myself and help me to refuse to submit to shame. If I get off course, help me learn to change shame into guilt, correct the behavior, and move forward with my life in immediate self-love.

Things that make me happy

....hospital discharges.

....sunset coloured fluffy clouds.

....puddle splashin'.

....bitty tree frogs just hangin' around.

....the box of No. 20 sparklers (they're 12 inches long! whoa!).

....itty bitty chipping sparrows.

....getting decorated for the 4th of July before the neighbors.

Fairy Dust

You could waste your time and energy complaining that the ocean is too deep and wide.

Or you could figure out how to sail across it.

Today's Fairy Thought

No one is going to dump the goodness and the treasures of life in your lap. Yet when you take the trouble to look for the truly valuable things in life, you'll find them in abundance.

This day, this moment, this life is exactly what you decide to make of it. It can be dreary and depressing, or it can be bright and magnificent.

That depends not on how this day comes to you, but on what you do with it.

Raindrops on daisies and whiskers on bunnies...

.....yeah yeah.....still a few of my favorite things!

Pffffftttttt!!!!

Sleeping with Bread

The examen, based on the spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius, helps a person hold onto what spiritually nourishes him by looking at what is giving him consolation in his life or causing him desolation. It allows someone to express his gratitude to God for the good stuff and turn to him for solace for the bad stuff. It is quite simple. You simply ask yourself, in the last day/week/month what gave me consolation and what caused me desolation.

In the past week it’s become evident that I have a bigger problem than I thought. And I’ve got to take a another look at my part in the problem…….whatever the problem is. I’ve not been able to quite put my finger on what ‘it’ is…but I know ‘it’s’ there. There’s a definite strain for whatever reason. I’ll inventory it, decide what (if anything) I can do about it….and I’ll offer myself as a piece of a solution, even if it’s not ‘mine’. There’s nothing wrong with extending myself to be a part of the solution even when I don’t see/don’t know if I have a part. It’s called helping.

In the meantime…..it’s like wondering what you’ll say ‘wrong’ next time. Cuz I’m clear there’ll be a next time. The accusation in the questioning is difficult, at best. But it’s stinkin’ thinkin’ and I know how that goes quite well.

Buying time is my friend, it would seem.

Coming back to the accusation, far off in left field as it feels…..could be it’s my problem and how I’m perceiving it. That’s entirely possible. But the answer seems to be ‘buy time’, ‘go back to it when you’re centered in what’s true’. Shooting from the hip in the initial defensiveness I ‘feel’ would be a horrible plan.

Buy time.

Get myself straight.

Buy time for the other person to get themselves straight.

Geeze, relationship problems are a son of a gun…. I can’t say I like ‘em. (I don’t.)

And I do feel like I’m flying blind with this one. That doesn’t mean I don’t have my part--it just means that at this given moment I’m oblivious to it.

But there’s been gratitude filled moments…….peaceful moments when the chaos that’s surrounded me ceased--and that’s been good for a bit of ‘rest’ in the storms that have presented themselves.

I’ve sat on the patio--more than once between literal storms. I've just breathed in the nothingness and replenished myself.

Swingin’.

Listening to the birdsong.

Watching sunrises and sunsets.

Splashing in puddles…..

Which is good--cuz it feels like I’ve been hit from all sides…work, home, relationships in multiple places.......

The common denominator in it all-- ME.

Certainly they can’t ALL be going upside-down at once……can they?

Boy. That’d be wayyyyy convenient! LOL

Today's Thought

If you want to be strong, be you. Be the real you that no circumstance, no twist of fate can diminish.

If you want to be magnificent, be you. The world won't always agree with you, yet life will always reward your authenticity.