Amarillo Luggage

I had it all figured out--well, at least the first three days of the adventure with the sis present........ha.... That's what I get for trying to figure things out!

Luggage is in Amarillo--I guess there are worse places to be?
Himself, who was suppose to return on Thursday, is now returning on Wednesday evening. Okay, so he wasn't ever suppose to return on Thursday and he got it wrong when he gave me the information. TONIGHT--I can't let that fall out of my head....gotta show up at the airport AGAIN and do another pick up.
Then I think we're good for trips to the airport for a couple of weeks......leastwise I hope so....
But then I thought we were good on trips to the airport when we returned the 26 year old to O'Hare. *sigh*

It's been a flurry of go-go-go. But I got to feed the bug yesterday--the girl's fella brought the bug to the airport for 'meet and greet'....the girl eventually got out of her mucky muck meeting and found us for dinner.
Talk about an adventure in messiness.......LOL
Oh, but it was great fun. I'd pity the poor folks around us at the restaurant, but they seemed to be as entertained watching the bug slobber, spit and rub in her cereal as I was in helping her create the mess. *laughing*
No worries--she cleaned up good. LOL

And the great-aunt/sis got all kindsa weepy at the meet and greet.
She's just a big mush-bucket.....

Oy geeze......ya don't suppose she'll get all slobbery gooshy AGAIN when we pick up himself tonight, do ya?
Yup.......I'm sure.......LOL

Fairy Reminder

In the Serenity Prayer, we pray for the wisdom to know the difference between what we can change and what we cannot.

That distraction can be hard for many of us to recognize.

When we finally see the reality clearly – that some things we face cannot be controlled by our own will or fixed by force – new possibilities open up to us.

When we stop trying to move a mountain, our relationship to the mountain changes.

We start to live at peace with the mountain.

At the same time we can take greater responsibility for those parts of our lives that we can change.

Peace of mind comes from accepting what we can do nothing about and taking responsibility for what we can.

Today I pray for the wisdom that helps me know the difference.

Awwwwwww.......ty ty ty

Every once in a while I get completely and utterly taken by surprise.

Thank you, Spadoman--I'm honoured, truly.

I think it's terribly fitting, truth be told.
I'm a coffee drinker.
A chronic coffee drinker. LOL
There's a cup attached to my hand most of the day. Sugar and cream until 8am--black throughout the day.....sugar and cream after 5pm. Don't ask me why.....LOL It's just how I muddle through the day, creature of habit that I am.

My mornings are quiet, peacefilled moments.
I'd tell you that's by choice.....I have my 'alone time' and I like it lots....
Himself would tell you that's by necessity. LOL I can be a bit--unapproachable before that first pot of coffee happens.



It takes a strong cuppa coffee, for me....literally and figuratively.
I'm a bit of a....hardhead.
A bit of a hard sell.
I know what I know, I've experienced what I've experienced.......and that which I've experience, I really know.
I almost said I'm 'unmoveable'--but that's not true. I'm being moved and twisted and stretched every day......to look beyond the obvious and see the nuances, the innerworkings.
But it takes that strong cuppa coffee, yaknow?

Fitting, this one.
I like it lots.
And truly--I'm honoured.......

From nobody --to people!

Right.

Two months---it's been a very quiet house.
And I've been a very messy person. *laughing*

You don't realize how messy ya are until all evidence points to YOU.

Right then--pick up sister at 3:05 today.
Pick up the Brit at 8:35pm tomorrow.

Geeze, I hope don't have those times reversed. LOL

k..........I really need to round up the defiant shoes and introduce them to the closet......
Darn shoes......

TFTD

What is our security based upon?

This is a vital, bottom-line question.

Security is a basic need of all humans.

But as with all quests, if we look for the object of our search in an area where it cannot be found, we court certain frustration and failure.

Many would base their security on outside conditions.

That is building our house on sand.

Beauty passes, fame is fleeting, wealth can quickly evaporate, and health is fragile at best.

What then is safe to count upon?

Only one security cannot be taken away, and it resides within.

Security based on our own belief in ourselves, in our ability not only to cope and survive, but to celebrate life is the only security that lasts.

As hard as it may be for us to learn we can trust ourselves, it still is the only lasting security.

Fairy Reminder for The Day

Being around people doesn't necessarily mean we're making connections with them.

To truly share ourselves, we need to open the doors to our lives and let at least one person in. Just one person can make the difference between isolation and connection.

omg........

Yup.
I've know the sis was making a journey this way for a visit for almost two months.
Nope. I wasn't sweating it--she's the sis......geeze.

So.


How's come, two days before she's gonna show up, I'm getting all freaked out about stuff being 'just so'?!?!

OMG I'm makin' myself nutzzzzzzzzz......

Today's Thought

As we move through life, we continue to be confronted by conflict and problems over which we have no control.

That's a learning curve, nothing more.

We'll always be on this path.

The good news is that our response to the struggle will change in proportion to our willingness to seek God's help

Ah, life!

Ain't it funny how life gets a work out once in a while.......

It rained today.

Cold, dreary.......wet.

River time and a picnic went *poof* out the window.

Sidewalk chalk stayed in the bucket.......

Instead.......laundry got done, folded and put away.
The closet got put back in order......geeze I'm messy.

The car got a good cleaning out (boy--it's an office on wheels, that thing!).
Some dusting happened--the rest'll get done..........whenever.

And the house is picked up, organized and neat--again.
'Cept for those one pair of shoes I'm no longer wearing.......they'll go back to the closet on their own timeline, I'm sure. Dang shoes.......

And really--I haven't spent a whole lot of time thinking about 'that stuff', today.
It's been other 'stuff'. LOL Cuz I'm like that.....if it ain't one thing, I'll conjur up another. *shaking head*

I decided I'd watch a movie--we have a bazillion in this house, dontchaknow.
Only........I don't know how to operate the television/DVD/CD player thingy with 5 speakers.
Well.......that's not entirely true.
I now know how to turn on both the player thingy and the television set.

What I don't know -- is how to get sound.
Soooooooooo.......either I'm gonna watch a silent movie (literally)....or......I'm gonna tinker around with the remote until I get sound OR I get it so messed up that I won't be able to turn on anything. LOL

I guess I could always shove the DVD into the 'puter.

Ain't the same, of course--but ......

OR......I could just pass on the whole darn works, run a bubble bath, toss in a buncha toys, light up a smelly candle and just splash around to my hearts content.

OR--I could do both!

<-- going to wade through the bazillion movies now!!

OH!! I could watch the movie while I'm getting a bubblebath--have laptop will travel!
:-)

TFTD

Hard times, stressful times, are not all there is to life, but they are part of life, growth, and moving forward.

What we do with hard times, or hard energy, is our choice.

We can use the energy of hard times to work out, and work through, our issues.

We can use it to fine-tune our skills and our spirituality.

Or we can go through these situations suffering, storing up bitterness, and refusing to grow or change.

Hard times can motivate and mold us to bring out our best.

We can use these times to move forward and upward to higher levels of living, loving, and growth.

The choice is ours.

We do not always require hard energy, or stress, to motivate us to grow and change.

We do not have to create stress, seek it, or attract it.

But if it's there, we can learn to channel it into growth and use it for achieving what's good in life.

It's late in the game....

It's late.....and I'm weary.

Okay--so maybe it would have been a better plan to take that third day off to give myself what my body seems to think it needs. Rest.
I don't know why my body seems to think it needs it--I've been resting the body.
It's the brain that's been overactive......

I told himself that we'd talk come Monday about whether returning this coming week is the best option, the right option for him......
It will be two months he's been gone....

He knows that getting on the plane will be difficult.....horribly, painfully difficult. This could be the last of his time with his mother. They've already talked it. She feels like she'll go no further if he remains, that he'll do what he does well......take care of her. Her arguement is the need to take care of herself......her life.......her dignity and self respect. And her love for her son--her only son.......the one she only wants happiness for.

I get weepy just putting that here.
I know a huge part of that comes from my own missing pieces--that mother I never had.
I don't want to push the envelope with him.....that's my deal, my issue. I just want him to be sure.....to understand what it is that he's looking at, the realities.

Bearer of truth........voice of reason...

He walked away from everything and everyone he'd ever known his whole life--to be here.

I marveled at that.....and at the same time--I feared it would become a resentment at some point.
.....Feared I would prove unworthy of the journey--of the sacrifices made....




I want him to stay.

I want him to tell me he needs to remain to be 'okay' with himself....
I don't want him to resent me........ ........or this.

QOTW 9/25

What would you like to do this weekend?

That's a 'what would you like to do' as opposed to a 'what are the plans'?

What I'd LIKE to do this weekend--is spend time with the bug, have dinner with the girl and her fella (which IS on the agenda) and just sorta 'be' and putz around the house, getting things in order for an upcoming visit from the sister.

I mean--I can't put her in the guestroom that's filled with Halloween things..LOL Well, I CAN.....and force her to help me decorate til she can find the bed!

Oh..that's such a good plan! LOL I think I'll execute it! *laughing*

I'd like to just 'be' and not think so dang much this weekend. If the weather allows--I'm thinking a bit of sidewalk chalk time.....maybe even a jaunt to the river to catch the early changing leaves. Picnic and the camera.....on the river sounds reallllllll inviting.....

Sometimes you need to make things happen.
Maybe I'll foresake the cleaning and the laundry and all that jazz....river, picnic and photo taking sounds just too peaceful to not chase!

*laughing*
Wow....I just made plans! ;-)

Today's Fairy Reading

Perhaps we need reminding that were it not for the shattered myths of last year or last week, we'd not be progressing, unfolding, as the bigger picture calls us.

We have a part to play in this life, as do our sisters and brothers, our friends, our children.

New dreams and ideals will lead us on our way.

Old dreams served us yesterday, and the past is gone.

They can't direct our present.

Today's Thought

Happiness does not come when you try to obtain it.

Happiness is a quality that you can choose to add to any experience.

k...excuse me?!?!

Okay.....that's IT!!

Folks around me are starting to equate it to "Oh....the Brit's not here to take care of you--no wonder...."

NO THAT IS NOT THE ISSUE!

Geeze.

Right.
Treated what I thought was a headache last evening....until I caught a good glimpse of myself in the mirror.
Red eye.
Red eye=Pinkeye=conjunctivitis=RAWRRRRRRR

So, Mel went to the doctor and the doctor said:

"Pinkeye and upper respiratory infection."

It's a cough....and a stuffed up head. Sheeeeeeshhhh...whatever you say doc.

Can I mention the drops to treat the eye thingy are $107?!
OMG....

And it is NOT cuz himself 'isn't around to take care of Mel'. Oybrother....

*sigh*
AND I'm now stuck AT home....with more MEMEME time.
*sigh*

TFTD

Today, I will begin acting in my best interests.

I will do this with the understanding that, on occasion, my choices will not please everyone around me.

I can still choose to do what's best for me and be 'okay'.

Things that make me happy

....PUMPKINS!!!! :-) Big fat orange ones.

....that pile of candy I'm collecting for tricks or treats.

....bug snugglin'.

....the words "lemme buy you a coffee.". :-)

....bright red leafs.

....new oppo socks! :-)

....mossy rocks.

....non-furry legs. LOLOL

Fairy Dust

When you don't know what to do, something within you does know exactly what to do.

Look cute, please......

Crashed........

'This'

I've inventoried and I've inventoried.....

I've looked under rocks.
I've torn open doors.

I've unearthed and examined and reburied.

I've taken things apart until I can't take them apart anymore...

I don't know why I am where I am.

I'm not even sure where that is......

I just know I'm feeling somewhere lost in all........'THIS'.

'THIS'........

This.





.......this........

Someone needs to tell me wth 'THIS' .......is.

I don't get it.

I really don't get it.......

Today's Fairy Thought

Fear is powerful, and yet it is fragile.

Though it can stop you cold, fear can be gone in an instant when you decide you've had enough of it.
Fear is a very effective way for you to get your own attention.

Then as soon as you're fully aware of a fear and what it has to say, you have no more use for it.
Let the fear advise you and prepare you......and then let it go.

Bitty Fairy Thought

Intention is powerful, and yet there's something your intention must have in order to survive. That something is real, solid action.

A Smidegon......

Today......

It's starting......

Leaves are changing colours--days are shorter and cooler. The nights are downright cold.
Indian summer has found us--and it's gorgeous.
Sunrises seem more brilliant.
Perhaps it's the knowledge that the patio swing will be tucked away soon and I won't be able to wrap myself up in the comfy quilt to watch daylight breaking......
Dunno.

I do know there's a desperate feel to it--to grab everything that'll be eeked away from me in the coming days.

Plants are peaking--they're full and loaded with blossoms.....their last hurrah before the frosty kiss claims them. *sigh*

There's goodness to fall.
I love the season, the change in everything.
But I grieve the passing of summer.



I guess it's a sad time for me.
Feels like a sad time.......all the nooks and crannies of my world seem filled with things that are passing, changes that I'm not necessarily comfortable with.......ones that leave me with questions and an emptiness with a fullness just out of reach.

It'll pass--feelings aren't 'fact'.
Things are as they are for reasons I don't necessarily get to know--nor do I need to know to keep moving towards the good in all of it.

Too much time alone.....
I've never faired well with too much time alone......

Today's Fairy Thought

We will come to realize that if behavior doesn't match a person's words, we are allowing ourselves to be controlled, manipulated, and deceived.

Sooner or later, we will come to realize that talk is cheap, unless the person's behavior matches it.

We can come to demand congruency in the behavior and the words of those around us.

We can learn to not be manipulated, or swayed, by cheap talk.

Reading Fairy Wisdom

We deal with feelings appropriately; we take responsibility for ourselves.
We detach, when detachment is called for.
We set boundaries, when we need to do that.
We negotiate conflicts; we try to separate our issues from the other person's issues, and we don't expect perfection from others or ourselves.
We let go of our need to control that which we cannot control.
Instead, we strive for peace and manageability, owning our power to be who we are and to take care of ourselves.

We do not tolerate abuse, nor do we abuse or mistreat anyone else.
We work at letting go of our fear and developing appropriate confidence.
We try to learn from our mistakes, but we forgive ourselves when we make them.
We try to not set ourselves up by taking jobs that couldn't possibly work out, or jobs that aren't right for us.
If we find ourselves in one of those circumstances, we address the issue responsibly.

We figure out what our responsibilities are, and we generally stick to those, unless another agreement is made.
We leave room for great days, and not so great days.
We are gentle and loving with people whenever possible, but we are assertive and firm when that is called for.

We accept our strengths and build on them.
We accept our weaknesses and limitations, including the limitations of our power.

We strive to stop trying to control and change what is not our business to change.
We focus on what is our responsibility and what we can change.

We set reasonable goals.
We take ourselves into account.
We strive for balance.

Sometimes, we give ourselves a good gripe session to let it all out, but we do that appropriately, in a way meant to take care of ourselves and release our feelings, not to sabotage ourselves.

We strive to avoid malicious gossip and other self-defeating behaviors.
We avoid competition; strive for cooperation and a loving spirit.

We understand that we may like some people and dislike others, but strive to find harmony and balance with everyone.

We do not deny how we feel about a certain person, but we strive to maintain good working relationships wherever possible.

When we don't know, we say we don't know.
When we need help, we ask for it directly.
When panic sets in, we address the panic as a separate issue and try not to let our work and behavior be controlled by panic.

We strive to take responsible care of ourselves by appropriately asking for what we need at work, while not neglecting ourselves.
If we are part of a team, we strive for healthy teamwork as an opportunity to learn how to work in cooperation with others.
If something gets or feels crazy, if we find ourselves working with a person who is addicted or has some kind of dysfunction that is troublesome, we do not make ourselves crazier by denying the problem.
We accept it and strive in peace to figure out what we need to do to take care of ourselves.

We let go of our need to be martyrs or rescuers.
We know we do not have to stay in situations that make us miserable.
Instead of sabotaging a system or ourselves, we plan a positive solution, understanding we need to take responsibility for ourselves along the way.

We remove ourselves as victims, and we work at believing we deserve the best.
We practice acceptance, gratitude, and faith.

One day at a time, we strive to enjoy what is good, solve the problems that are ours to solve, and give the gift of ourselves.

Feets, slobber and omgosh---growing.......

'Zactly who said she could do that?

Today's Thought

Even when the day feels flat or hollow, there's a richness to it that escapes our attention.

We see only what we choose to see.

We hear selectively, too.

Our prejudgment precludes our getting the full effects of any experience.

Live is rich and full.
Your life.
My life.

Fuzzy One

TFTD

To be willing is to hold ourselves ready and available for God's direction.

Things that make me happy......

....freshly laundered fluffy quilts to wrap up in.

....watching the girl with the bug.

....remembering to put recyle-ables out. LOL

....being called 'indominable'. ;-)

....little silver ankel bracelets.

....knowin' I have fall clothes that'll fit this year! YEAH!!

....peacefilled silence....

Fairy Dust

I pray that I may find strength today in quietness. I pray that I may be content today that God will take care of me.

Sleeping with Bread

The examen, based on the spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius, helps a person hold onto what spiritually nourishes him by looking at what is giving him consolation in his life or causing him desolation. It allows someone to express his gratitude to God for the good stuff and turn to him for solace for the bad stuff.

The 'good stuff':

I'm sorta kinda mostly functioning--I couldn't say that much for the front part of last week. Today I can be grateful for the bit of me that's functioning better, physically. Half days ain't such a bad deal, sometimes......

There's an 8 foot purple spider in the basement--just seein' him there brings me great joy. AND I can officially consider moving Studley outside for the whole of town to enjoy!!! Wooooohoo!!

The pigeon with lung cancer went for her CT and the results were favorable. The tumor shrunk and nothing new showed up on the CT. Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!

I got some 'bug time' this weekend, and she wasn't 'fussy' even though the girl claimed she was. (must be that Nana touch!)

The Brit's mum is healing nicely--it's been a week since the pacemaker happened and she's telling me she's feeling better than she has for months......which is very, very good.

I found my kalediscope colouring book! :-) It was lost--hazzard of having a few toys, I'm guessin'........ Yaknow how that goes.....if some is good--

I've been very, very patient with some stuff going on at the worksite. (which is not my norm) People are starting to look at me funny though. LOL

The hummers are going nuts around this joint. They're just funner than fun to watch, zoomin' all over the place, doing their thing. The view from the patio has been very entertaining.

Sunrises and sunsets have been absolutely fantastic--bit chilly on the chairswing.......but well worth wrapping myself in the quilt to swing and soak it all in.

The house stays cleaner longer. LOLOL
(even with defiant shoes STILL doing their thing......)

There's been opportunity galore to talk about those things that work for me. More meetings, more phone calls, more working with others........I always do better when I get out of 'me and my poor widdle twoubles'.

There's a calmness in the house.......not an emptiness--but a quiet calm. That's an amazing thing.......



The 'not so good stuff':

How much of it truly matters when you make yourself shush up and look at what's 'right' in your life...........

Fairy Thought

In any and every moment, your energy level depends on the choices you make.
The way you think and act and speak and feel all contribute to the amount of energy you have to work with.

Today's Fairy Thought

Regardless of what has already happened, today will be what you decide to make of it.

You can learn, you can act, you can understand, you can love, you can appreciate, you can wonder, and you can fully live.

Dragon

Or is that "draggin......"?

Fairy Reminder

Sometimes, we need to directly apologize for a particular thing we have done or our part in a problem.

Other times, instead of saying "I'm sorry," what we need to do is work on changing our behavior with a person.

TFTD

What we receive from others who respond to our vulnerability diminishes our need for "things" to fill our lives.

Happy Hummer

Yup--half a day for me.....

Well, it's a half a day if I show my boss my stuff from the physician.
It's a half a day if I don't, truth be told.

I think I feel better (this morning) than I've felt in the past couple of weeks.
That's not an invitation to go 'full tilt boogey' into the day and deplete myself, I know.
I'm just glad for the feeling better jazz....



So I'll look at half a day......go in, get stuff caught up....missing two days sets me behind, there's no doubt about that.
Then I think I'll find the patio and just........sit....... Swing a bit, listen to the birdies squabbling over whose food is whose--and just try to BE.

The lawn can wait.
Laundry can wait.
Disobediant shoes can wait.

I just wanna BE and feel okay BEING.

Wow.....maybe I'll even locate my twisty coloured pencils and color this evening instead of dragging myself around to attend to this or that.....

OH.
OH!!
I have kalidescope colouring picture thingies!!!

Where'd I put those.....

TFTD

When someone confides in us and becomes vulnerable, our task is to make that moment safe. And when we become vulnerable, we have a right to the same safety - which means no disrespect and no demeaning or abusive behavior.
When someone puts trust in us, it is our duty to honor it.

Some of us grew up in families where love was paired with abuse and disrespect.

The very people who loved us sometimes deliberately hurt us.
As adults we may find ourselves being more decent and polite to strangers than to our loved ones.

This becomes our adult challenge: to act respectfully to our loved ones and protect and honor the trust they have placed in us.

Recite after me:

I will drink the water I carry around with me--and not just carry it around with me.
I will drink the water I carry around with me--and not just carry it around with me.
I WILL drink the water I carry around with me--and not just carry it around with me.
I WILL DRINK the water I carry around with me and not just carry it around with the 'good intention' of drinking it.......

I WILL DRINK THE WATER I CARRY AROUND WITH ME.

Dehydration can (and will) lead to hypovolemia.
This is bad.




I WILL DRINK THE WATER I CARRY AROUND WITH ME.

Off I go!

I knew the answer when I made the call.

Of COURSE doc wants me to see the local doc.

I move, I get queazy and sweat.
That's usually a sign of the flu for me.
I DO NOT WANT THE STUPID FLU.

Oh--it's not about what I want, that's right.

So. It's off to the local doc.

And I'm taking a bucket.....cuz it certainly feels up for grabs at this moment.

Ohmygosh......blast from the past.
Only I don't have one with smiley's and ice cream cones on it.

Maybe I'll use my markery guys and make it something special.
Maybe not.....



Himself didn't ring yesterday....which was just as well.
Seems they were running from appointment to appointment.

I informed him I was 'unwell' yesterday but better today.
He yammered on about stuff there.....I think he mighta not heard me.
Which is probably just as well. Like he needs more to 'sit and spin' on at this moment in time?

k......bucket......car........local doc.
Cuz that's the instructions.
NOT cuz I wanna, mind you.

Oh boy oh joy.....

If I put it in black and white--I haffta follow through.
Oy.....
Off I go.

Today's Reading from the Fairies

Some of us easily slip into a pattern of saying "I'm sorry" every time our mate/friend/family is offended or unhappy with our actions.

We want to please, or we hate conflict, so we choose the appearance of peace and its good feelings rather than trying to truly resolve and repair problems.

Genuine repair starts with regret and follows up with efforts to change our behavior or attitude.

If we just give empty apologies and do not back up our words with actions, we put ourselves down and drain the trust from our relationship.

A genuine apology is personal, clear, and specific.

It suggests a change in future behavior.

The personal part says I am sorry that I hurt you; the clear and specific parts name exactly what action we regret; and then we say how we will make repair.

If we say, "I'm sorry you feel bad," we are expressing sympathy, but we are not apologizing for our behavior.

Ughhhhhh.....

When you wake up with a headache, you try almost anything to make it go away.
Functioning is required, afterall.

Yeah well, functioning with that kinda headache wasn't happening.
Tried....failed.......found bed.

I'm wandering toward civilization.
It's a slow wander--but it's a wander.

There's only seven messages on the machine--one on the work cellphone...four on my personal cellphone.
Ohhhhhhh.....I just love phones...

I'll answer.
I know folks are concerned. 'Specially with himself over there.
SOMEhow they're concerned that I'm not taking care of me?
Like I didn't do it for years and years before himself showed up in my life?

Yeah, yeah...I know. It's 'okay' that people care about me.

I'll answer messages and see if I can keep upright.......that'd be good.

Another Thought from the Fairies

To truly grow stronger, you must step beyond what is comfortable and familiar.

Beyond the comfort of what you already know, you'll find the wonder and magnificence of all you really are.

You are designed and equipped and intended for great things.

Another cup of cofffee.......

Yup.....I'm alone. And I do too much thinking when I'm alone.

WPIML didn't need to remind me of that--apparently he felt it was necessary to call that fact to my attention.

Yup. I'm alone.
And Yup......I do too much thinking.

I'm not sad.
k....I am sad about the circumstances for The Brit's mum. And I've no doubt it's a difficult thing for him to get to contend with--and he's contending with it alone. He's an 'only child'. I'm sure it feels particularly lonely, getting to do what he's getting to do.
I'm not an 'only child'--attending to stuff with an ailing step-parent was a lonely affair when it was time for me to do it.
It didn't matter how many people were attempting to stick their hand in that till--it was a lonely, sad and sometimes scary affair.

It just gets to be how it is today.

WPIML didn't wanna talk about The Brit and the mum and the circumstances that drove the decision to send himself solo. Go figure he wanted to talk about me.

MEMEME.......*sigh*

I don't particularly wanna talk about MEMEME, tyvm.
I'm good with simply doing what's in front of me.....

Wanna talk the inside workings......nope, pass.
Geeze....everybody knows that Mel having too much time with Mel is a baddddddd plan.
Including Mel.

Which is why shampooing the carpets happened straight out of the gate.
And why closets have been reorganized.
And why crafty stuff has been sorted through and straightened.
And why all those silly floppy thingies got put onto a memory stick....
*sigh*

But I'm running outta things around this joint that I wanna do.
Note that I said 'wanna do'.
And I'm getting myself into that place of 'danger danger Will Robinson!!!'.
I know it.
WPIML knows it.....

He suggested maybe doing an extra meeting or two......I just don't have the desire. And I'm not bothering to find the energy at this point.
Going to see the bug is an option that I've executed more than once. The girl knows me and my crazy thinking--she's kept an 'open door' policy going....Nana gives her a break and the bug makes me happy.....it's that darn simple.

But alone happens.
And yup......WPIML has just cause for concern.
I don't have to pick up a drink to get that whacked out thinking.......heck, I've not picked up a drink for some time now....
Doesn't mean the whacked out thinking is gone.
I'm clear it's not.

So......keep busy.
Find another cupboard to clean, another area to straighten.....another person to ring.....another work-related thing to toss myself into.....
Cuz I'm thinkin' too much.
And I'm ruminating over stuff I don't get to control or change today.
And some of the circumstances--are just hard.
Thinkin' about 'em makes me scared.......

And I do not do fear well.

Yo ho ho........

Oh now--no one was really expecting me to forget Talk Like A Pirate Day, were they?

Aarrrrrrrrhhhh me maties.......it be 'round th' corner!

Aarrrrrrrhhhh.

Aarrrrrrrrrhhhhhhh! (just practicin'.......LOL)

Today's Fairy Reading

My parents believed in honesty and hard work and they passed that on to me.--Monty Cralley

Most of us can think of a number of things we can credit our parents with.

For some of us there may not be as many good legacies as bad, however.

But time has marched on and we can't redo a bad past.

Nor does it help to continue rehashing it in our minds.

Our parents simply passed on to us what they had learned.

If it wasn't all good, let's hope we learned enough from it to break the pattern before we passed it on to our children.

Let's focus on the blessings and the positive experiences in our lives.

While it's true that we learned something from every experience, even the ones that seemed vile at the time, the more pleasant ones helped us interact in a more hopeful manner with others.

The more hope we had, the more hope we inspired in our friends, too.

There was no better quality to pass on to others.

We are still passing on ideas and impressions to others.

Every opinion we share, every favor we perform, every moment we intently listen to someone talk about themselves is our opportunity to pass along something positive to a person who needs us.

Our work isn't done.

I will pass on something I can feel proud of today.

Fairy Reminder

Some of us have gone through life unconsciously expecting others to bring us happiness, to make our dreams come true, and to make us feel good about ourselves.

When nothing seems to be going well for us, we blame it on the lack of external support - we're not in a serious relationship, we don't like our job, we don't have the money to venture into our own business.

When we change our perspective - when we know and trust that we are responsible for our happiness, our dreams, and our feelings - we become empowered.

No longer is the burden on someone or something that is either unreliable or nonexistent.

We'd been giving this power to others; now it's time to take it back, to make and be responsible for our own choices, to value our opinions, and to respect our intellect.

So--

The Brit's 'mum' is home. They've given her a pacemaker and she's apparently feeling a whole bunch better.....thank goodness.
I hear tell himself makes a good nurse--organizing pills, getting her to where she needs to be.
It's a good thing.

She's feeling less scared--it's a very good thing.

Himself wants to talk about when he's returning, of course.
And of course, I'm not talkin' it until they get a few weeks under their belt.
LAST time he tried to talk it, she was having seizures from the stroke and they discovered her pulse at 42......hence the pacemaker.

We ain't talking his return yet.
He can be grumpy about that all he wants......sheeeeeeeeshhhhh
He'll just have to get over it.....plain and simple.

She's home.
He's there playing nurse.

And I'm here contemplating when I'm gonna mow the lawn.

Inbetween loads of laundry, I think.
And vacuuming.
And dishes--the few that there are.

And disciplining the stupid shoes that STILL aren't listening to me about returning to the shoe rack in the bedroom when I tell 'em to go there......

Darn shoes........

TFTD

The desire for what we don't have prevents us from appreciating and enjoying what we do have - right now, this moment.

We often sell ourselves continual dissatisfaction by focusing on what we appear to lack.

Ah yes....... :-)

This mornings' cuppa java--in the whitecup spidery mug.

Oh, it's a glorious morning!!
Sunrise was pinks and reds and just gorgeous!

<-- wrinkled, sadddddddd spider

HAPPY Studley!!!

<--- HAPPY Mel!!!

Today's Thought

Every time we share with another human being, we add something to our spiritual bank account, allowing us to draw on it when extra demands are made upon our courage.

In the measure in which we share our burdens, they become lighter.

I can't take it any more......

I'm sorry.

I've tried to be patient.
I've tried to be objective.


I can't do it.
I guess, in some aspects I've failed--they're pretty basic skills to utilize and I just.....can't......for whatever reason.

I've tried to buy time.
I've tried to put it on the back burner and just not give it a whole lot of thought.
I really have tried to be sensitive to the needs of other people.....



None of it's working.
I've run out of patience and objectivity.

I'm done.

DONE.




Please don't be disappointed in me......



I'm taking Studley out of the box and inflating him in the basement.
I'm freeing the 8 foot spider.


:-/

Things that make me happy.......

....smelly candles in a quiet house.

....colour your month calendars. :-)

....a brand new purple pen cuz I was a 'good manager' and wasn't naughty when I coulda been. YEAH ME!!!

....the bunches of postcards on the coffee table all scattered about.

....Pirate windsocks for the carport. :-)
(yep.....Talk Like a Pirate Day is coming!!!! Wooohooo!!!!)

....the thought of Halloween coffee mugs appearing on the counter.
k.....maybe not just the THOUGHT of 'em....*snickering*

....graffiti-ed, chopped and twisted stolen smiley bowl photos.


*smiling smugly and batting eyes*