All about smirking....

I know a very large part of the reason I got 'placed' into the administrative team is because I'll always advocate for the kiddos and I'll always advocate for the staff who work directly with them....and I can do that well. I'll chase what's 'right' with a passion.

Sometimes I do that with dignity and grace..........sometimes (yes, I know the difference between assertive and aggressive) I'll come across the tables in order to be heard. I don't like not being heard.....
One of these days I'm gonna become one of those "when ____ talks, everybody listens" kinda people in the administrative team.
Oddly enough, I'm able to be that in a few places already. That's a privilege and a responsibility in the same breath and I know it.
However, I haven't quite made it to that 'space' with the administrative team....yet.

I know the boss has me right where I am BECAUSE of this piece of me.
But geeze......I don't like coming across tables. (okay, it's mostly 'leaning')

And I don't like that he gets that little smirk going when I do.

Reminders to self......

We fear our highest possibility (as well as our lowest one). We are generally afraid to become that which we can glimpse in our most perfect moments.--Abraham Maslow

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.

It is not just in some, it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.--Marianne Willamson

TFTD

We live both in the material realm and the spiritual.

In our material dimension we seek material pleasures, inherent in which is pain.

Our human emotions are tied to our material attachments, and joy, at its fullest, is never found here.

Real joy lies outside of the material dimension while living fully within us too, in the secret, small place inside where we always know that all is well.

Wednesday Adventure

After a day of work (and it's Wednesday, so it's all 'clinical' in nature--'cept for the 'end of the fiscal year, budget, numbers, spreadsheets and all that jazz' STUFF that I keep trying to cram in every chance I get...) guess what I decided to do?

Water the flowers, 'deadhead' the daisy flowery thingies and fill up birdie feeders.

Lemme correct that.

I STARTED to 'deadhead' the daisy flowery thingies.

Himself took the scissory guys, handed me my purse and announced we were going on an adventure!

Woooooohoooooo!!!!

No foolin'......scissors got dropped on the patio and off we went.

I didn't have a clue where we were headed or what kind of 'adventure' we were talking......but, hey--I'm game after a day of 'head stuff'. (You'd NEED to sit in our team/clinical supervision meetings.......auuggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!)

WE went to McDonalds!

*nodding happily*

And I got french fries and chicken nuggets! AND a coke!

AND!! AND!!!!! I got a Happy Meal!

Which, btw, made Mel a very, VERY happy woman.

Yep.

See, himself doesn't DO McDonalds. So dinner out is never about french fries and toys. Well, RARELY. Like this is the first time in almost forEVER.

And I didn't just get ONE toy.

I got TWO!

(cuz, dontchaknow--if some is good......MORE is better!)

That's right, I got a penguin surfing guy in water that you have to make surf past some nasty rocks. (I keep crashin' the poor thing--but practice will pay off!)

AND I got a surfin' hedge hog. He spins in circles!!

And his name is Reggie. LOLOL (g'head and be PROUD Reg--they named a surfin' hedge hog after you!)

It was way cool.

And then......in the parking lot of McDonalds himself informed me that we were going clothes shopping. As in we were going shopping and we weren't leaving until we had three outfits that FIT me.......period.

Shopping?

C'mon...........everyone knows I hate shopping for clothes.

I hate that MORE than I hate grocery shopping.

MORE!!

(Please note that I did survive--though I hemmed and hawed outside of the store before I could actually make myself go inside.)

And he HELPED me find clothes.

I mean........HELPED me.

As in.......ya know--put things TOGETHER to make them work.

In....make it work and get it done........as in: no lolly gagging or messin' around.....

AND I left with three outfits.

Which means I'm dressed for the next two working days already!

IN stuff that'll actually FIT!

Really..... THIS is huge.

Cuz I'm smaller.

And the poor fella's been picking up the tossed clothes I've been dealing in for a few months now. MOSTLY cuz I refuse to do this shopping deal cuz I HATE shopping for clothes.

Some cuz I managed to drop enough weight that NEAR everything I put on......falls off.

*sigh*

All those suits and jackets...... I've managed to mix and match (and toss and throw and drop) to sorta kinda make things work.

NOW I have three outfits that fit! Head to toe.

And himself says we done GOOD!

AND I got a Happy Meal with toys!!!!!

Woooooohooooooo!!!!!!

*going to play with the surfin' hedge hog now!*

Dear Big Guy.......

Can I whine about 'end of the fiscal year, budget, numbers, spreadsheets and all that jazz' for a moment please'?
*checking to see if doing just THAT much was 'enough'*

Nope. LOL (don't get grumpy--YOU made me this way, afterall)

Look, I'm not one for numbers. (YOU know this--I paid someone darn good money to do my math assignments when I was in college and confessed this one was wrong) And I'm not particularly good at even the basics of math. (this is why I have one of those 'bigger pads, less functions than the scientific calculators' calculator at the desk at work--and no it's not MY desk cuz we've talked about what that 'MY desk' stuff symbolizes and I'm still doing denial, thanksverymuch......when I'M ready, I'll deal...k?)
Now, back to the numbers 'stuff'.

And June.
You know...........the month that the 'end of the fiscal year, budget, numbers, spreadsheets and all that jazz' happens in. JUNE. And this IS June..........

Did you, by chance, notice that June has 30 days in it?
That's one less than 31 and two less than I could USE to get all this 'end of the fiscal year, budget, numbers, spreadsheets and all that jazz' DONE.
IT'S NOT DONE!!

Is it due, You ask?

On Friday.......the 29th. (betcha knew all that, huh?)

I mean, FEBRUARY is all screwed up as is.
What would it have hurt to screw up June, too?


NEXT year--could you consider letting us rob a few days from February so we can tack 'em on to June, please?
Let some genius have that idea fly, wouldya?
That'd be ever so helpful.

Thank you for Your consideration.

Oh! And thanks for that 'moment' with the boss yesterday, too.
I laughed buckets when he realized he was grumbling at the wrong person about that occupancy report he 'didn't get'.
That good sense of humour You gave me tossed him for enough of a curve that it gave me JUST enough time to ring the 'guilty party' so she could get her bases covered and avoid the grumblings herself.
You musta known how crappy her day was going, huh?
THAT one was pretty cool......

(but let's not forget about the February/June suggestion..k?)

Amen

WELL then!

The 'rule' is 'hard on ourselves, easy on others'.

That's been a wise 'rule' in my life, even if it makes little sense to the rest of the world.

See, I found it horribly easy to be hard on the rest of the world while I absolved myself from any and all responsibility.

YOU were my problem.

THEY were my problem.

The last place I looked.....was at me.

I was NOT the problem, dontchaknow!

What needed changed..... was all of YOU, all of THEM.

I did a whole lotta sitting and spinning (and a lot of damage), waiting for the world around me (and all the human beings on the planet) to wake up and smell the coffee.

Mad the whole time--cuz if ya'll would just WISE UP and do it MY WAY...

*rolling eyes*

Yeah, well, thank GOODNESS none of you listened! LOL

I've learned to look in my own backyard.

(And boy......has that taken a whole lot of effort from the folks around me to get me to actually DO.)

But I have learned to look here.......in me.

That's where I can do the changing.

The rest of you..........will get to catch up, if you so desire. ;-)

But growing is required.
Forward moment is required.

Staying 'stuck like a duck in the muck' is disallowed. (well, I WAS assured that I can "stay there as long as you wanna stay there".....go figure...... Geeze, and I hadn't quite reached that 'stuck in the muck' stage, even!)

I won't.
Cuz there's nothing good to be gained by simply being stuck in the muck.

Absolutely 'bugger all'!!

Ya know, it's taken me a lifetime to end up here--getting an opportunity to do it different and to have different. And I do have different today.

My worst day today far exceeds my best day from all those yesterdays.

And I'm graced--oh BOY do I know I'm graced.

Sooooo.....Today, I'm spending my energy celebrating what's good and true in this deal with himself.

I've put my sticky note back on the mirror. (see what happens when you take the darn thing down!!!!!!) (yes, I've now resorted to blaming the missing sticky note! LOL)

And outta love, I'll refrain from playing the kazoo in the Jeep!

Yep.

I won't do it.

But that's JUST for today, mindyou. ;-)

(be afraid about what I'll do instead! LOL)

Thanks for the reminder, Ms. Fairy....

We're responsible for the effort but not the outcome.

Frequently, a single problem or many problems overwhelm us.

We may feel crazy, unable to cope and certain that we have made no progress.

But we have.

We perhaps felt strong, secure, on top of things last week, or yesterday.

We will again tomorrow, or maybe today.

When we least expect it, our efforts pay off - quietly, perhaps subtly, sometimes loudly.

To be human is to have doubts and fears.

The good days will increase in number.

We're responsible for the effort---not the outcome.

"I think I'll go to the AlAnon meeting...."

Great. Drive safely--the deer are out.

"Does that bother you--I mean, that I'm going to a meeting?"

Ummmmm...nope. Is it suppose to?

"No, no. I just think it would be good for me to go."

Okey dokey.......have a good meeting.

"It's the Monday night one--it's still at the church."

Great! Then you'll know folks there. They'll be glad to see ya, I'm sure.

"Right then...... Are you sure you're okay with this?"

Dearheart, if your going depends on me being 'okay' with it---you REALLY must need a meeting, huh?

*shaking head*

NOT that I'm one to decide what he needs to do. I'm very conscious of my part in the whole deal. And I can't imagine I've been all that 'fun' to live with as of late.

Fact is, I've already established that "I SUCK!".

But getting my 'approval' for a meeting?

Isn't that like getting his 'approval' for meeting up with wisepersoninmylife or meeting with a pigeon or two or three, or going to my weekly meetings.....

*scratching head*

Am I suppose to have his 'approval'?

LOL CRAP!

I thought I was just hoping for his support along the way.

*scratching head*

....k......I'll call wisepersoninmylife but if he laughs------

~~The pink bandaid award whozit thingy~~

All righty then.

I've posted the bandaid to the left(--okay, the OTHER left aka 'the right') and I'm passing on the thanks to 1,2,3 Duck!

(not for my inability to distinguish my left from my right.....that's been problematic WAY before the pink bandaid award whozit thingy found it's way to me!)

I'm tickled to be handed a pink bandaid award whozit thingy and have added it to the sidebar, which is just where pink bandaid award whozit thingy oughta rest, dontchathink? ;-)

It's my firstest award.

And I'm ROCKIN'!!

*doing happy dance*

Wooooohooooooo!!!! Go ME!!
:-D

In the meantime, I get to pass on the pink bandaid award whozit thingy to some other folks and I'm honoured, indeed!

E-- Cuz I blame YOU for me even being here. ;-) Ah, what an adventure, eh?

And I, LTV-- Cuz it's been a pleasure, day after day......and an honour to be allowed to be a part of your life. (is it okay to mention that I miss your presence already?)

And Mig-- Just cuz it's such a treat for the eyes, that little place of cyberspace you keep just for me. (k.....it's NOT just for me, but you make it feel like it is)

And SLB-- cuz. Just cuz. :-)

And the fifth one? (apparently I get to pass on the pink bandaid whozit thingy award to five people) Gosh.....too many to choose from...

Katherine-- Whose blogging was sorely missed while she was 'away'. (welcome back, ma'am!)

Ya'll are ROCKIN'!!!!

Rock ON, ladies......ROCK ON!!

(oh great...now I have stucksongitus..LOL)

T(s)FTD

We begin with the truth and build on the firm foundation it provides.

We often hear we should have a positive attitude, we should be grateful for the new day.

Perhaps some days we feel enthusiasm, and it's wonderful when we do.

But we don't need to turn it into a requirement because 'should' tend to keep us out of touch with our honest feelings.

All feelings are acceptable.

Whatever they are, the entire range of color and intensity of feelings are acceptable.

Our task is dealing with them and responding to them.

We begin by acknowledging them as they are.

We do not have license to do whatever we feel like doing, only to feel what we feel.
This point of honesty is a solid stepping-stone to grow from.

And as if THAT wasn't enough........

What we each discover, again and again, is that the solution to any problem becomes apparent when we stop searching for it.

The guidance we need for handling any difficulty, great or small, can only come into focus when we remove the barriers to it, and the greatest barrier is US....our frantic effort to personally solve the problem.

We clutter our minds; we pray for an answer and yet don't become quiet enough, for long enough, to become aware of the direction to go, or the steps to take.

And they are always there.

Inherent in every problem or challenge is its solution.

Be still.

I suck.

I suck.

I kinda sorta KNEW I was sucking about a month ago.

Okay......there's no 'kinda sorta' to that. I KNEW I was sucking.

I KNEW I was off the path. I knew I was wandering away from 'my job' in all this with the Brit.

And I knew I was letting myself get sideblinded by work, by the demands and by the chaotic moments that seem to be happening over and over again.

The other day I walked out to go to work and failed to give himself any kind of 'see ya later' comment/hug/kiss..... Nada. That's what I said, that's what I gave him.

Now, I didn't recognize I'd done that.

I went through the day, warp speed with my hair on fire. (that's pretty much the norm as of late)

I got home, did some tasky kinda things and himself managed to tell me what I'd NOT done that morning.

Oh yeah.......you can bet I tripped all over myself apologizing and felt (a well deserved) crappy.

Silly me thought that was a done deal.

*whapping self*

What WAS I thinking?!

We revisited it today. Not cuz he's been on my case about it--he's not an 'on my case' sorta person.
Fact is, we don't squabble or have tiffs or get into all that 'stuff'.

This is the first time we've had to visit something of this nature.

I'm generally on top of 'doing my job' in the relationship.

But at this moment---I suck.

And the heck of it is, I KNEW I was sucking at loving how I wanted to love for more than a few days....or weeks.....

All this........'stuff' that was yanking me a million different directions got in the way cuz I let it.

And I KNEW I was letting it get in the way.

It was in my inventory at the end of the day.

I had all sortsa bells and whistles going off, telling me to pay attention.

*whapping self in the head*

Dumb, dumb, DUMB!!

I SUCK!

And now I've gotta wrap my head around doing some sort of 'corrective plan' so I can get my 'stuff' back in order. I'm NOT pleased that I've let some things go by the wayside between himself and I. I'm beyond 'upset' that I've let some things get bigger than they 'oughta' be.

HE'S fine cuz he knows it's not about him.

And truly, it's NOT about him one iota.

I'm NOT fine --because I know I SUCK.

Why would I wanna be 'fine' with SUCKING?

*mumbling*

I SUCK.

Blueprints......

...The image we have of ourselves is like the blueprint the contractor follows when building a house.

When we see ourselves sad or angry, our behavior and personality will match it.

When we see ourselves withdrawn and afraid, we seem to avoid activities that involve others.

How wonderful that we can change our behavior and thus ourselves by changing the picture we carry in our minds.

QOTW 6/24

On long car trips, what do you to to keep things fun?

You're kidding, right?
I confess on a regular basis that I'm an absolute terror in the Jeep.
Okay, okay......so I'm an absolute terror OUT of the Jeep.....

Himself has a little bag he's put together for me.
It used to be grabbed when we were doing 'distance' driving. I'm thinkin' he might wanna just keep the sucker in the Jeep, period. 35 minute drives to get some errands done 'in the big city' have become 'too long' to be quiet and still and cooperative.

Too often I'm getting the "Will you LEAVE that seatbelt ON, please!". (imagine the scolding tone of a mad dad--and that's about the tone himself takes TRYING to get me to stop stretching the belt over my head while I'm rambling on about the corns growing or whether or not the cows laying down in the field are tired, lazy or on strike against eating grass for ONE MORE DAY.
I've confessed before that I'm a little terrorist.....and that's not even speaking to my infamous "Oh look! A CHICKEN!!" moments.

Right then!
'The Bag' contains colourbooks, crayolas (a box of 32 AND a pack with glitter crayons AND the twisty crayons, set of 8), a clipboard, white paper in case I just wanna scribble, pencils, bubbles (don't leave home without 'em!), three little pots of playdough, a small cup (which holds the crayons one is using in the Jeeps cupholder, dontchaknow!), a pinwheel (g'head........start laughing but they're fun to watch go 'round and 'round from the Jeep's window), a bouncy ball, a bug's eye kaleidoscope, and a kazoo.... (are you feeling bad for himself yet? LOL) And we always, ALWAYS buy a bag of licorice for a roadtrip. (HIS plan for occupying my mouth with something besides incessant chatter? *snickering* 'cept I'm willing to talk with my mouth full when it's just him and me........)

Keep in mind that's the PACKED and ready to go bag.
I'm never leaving without some new, fun toy being stuffed into what's already packed.

And (I'm sure ya'll will be surprised by THIS) I'm not above whining to get a new toy, either.

:-D

"Bugger all"

Now, I know that's offensive language in some places.
But I'll have you know......THAT'S what I got accomplished today.

I asked himself "what have I actually DONE today?!" and that's the answer I got.


"Bugger all?"
Yep...........bugger all. Nuffin'. Nada. Zilch.


He wanted to know why it is that I feel a need to 'accomplish' things during the course of my time off.



Well, helllllllloooooooooo?! I have two days off to get a, b, c and the whole rest of the alphabet TWICE OVER taken care of. And just what did I get taken care of, today?!
"Bugger all."
'Xactly. Bugger all.

"It won't be there tomorrow?"
Well, YEAH it'll be there tomorrow. And instead of two days to take care of it all, I'll be down to ONE.
"Because you did bugger all, today."
'Xactly!



Bugger all today=warp speed with my hair on fire tomorrow.
UNLESS.......I do bugger all again tomorrow.
Wow.
Now THERE'S a thought!
That means that bugger all will get done this weekend PERIOD.
And since bugger all will get done during the week.....
I can do bugger all this weekend AND next week and still have a whole weekend to get stuff done!!

:-)
Wait til I tell himself I have it ALL figured out!
Wooooooohoooooooo!!!!!!
(yeah, yeah........it'll be twice the laundry, twice the dirt....but I'll have twice as long to get it done than if I do it tomorrow!)
:-D

Be scared.
It all makes sense to me!!!!!!!

:-)

Real friends are those who, when you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel that you've done a permanent job.--Erwin T. Randall

No foolin'......it was today's reading.....

Letting Go of Old Beliefs

Try harder.

Do better.

Be perfect.

These messages are tricks that people have played on us.

No matter how hard we try, we think we have to do better.

Perfection always eludes us and keeps us unhappy with the good we've done.

Messages of perfectionism are tricks because we can never achieve their goal.

We cannot feel good about ourselves or what we have done while these messages are driving us.

We will never be good enough until we change the messages and tell ourselves we are good enough now.

We can start approving of and accepting ourselves.

Who we are is good enough.

Our best yesterday was good enough; our best today is plenty good too.

We can be who we are, and do it the way we do it - today.

Tahiti

Wow.

I did something yesterday that I haven't done in years.

I got in the car after a bit (k.......mighta been more than a 'bit') of moaning and kvetching--leaving the house earlier than scheduled for work (which is the norm--I'll tell the truth!) and I got to the corner where I'm suppose to turn right to go up the hill to get to work........and I promptly turned left.

I'll admit as I left the house I informed the Brit: "If work calls before I get there-- tell 'em 'She's not arrived--how odd.... Hold on, maybe not! Come to think of it, she WAS carrying a beach umbrella and a map of Tahiti.......'."

Yep.

I got about 2o minutes away from work IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION OF WORK before I opted to turn around.

It was a "GIVE IT UP! You can't drive to Tahiti, ya dork."

*shaking head*

No fooling. I did this stuff when I was opting to not show up for Doctor's appointments cuz I wasn't wanting to deal in life and realities..........when I wasn't wanting to make decisions and be responsible.

I'd get in the car (without anyone as a support person cuz I'm that darn stubborn/prideful/DUMB) to show up for surgery or testing or some reality I didn't wanna deal with.........and I'd promptly head north instead of south.

There were couple times I made it into Chicago before I'd turn around and head back. Once I went to Minneapolis.

Brilliant mind that I have, 'if you just don't show up' then it ain't really happening (at least not THAT day!). This was my answer to 'overload'.

It got to the point that wisepersonimylife would randomly ring me 30 minutes into my hour long drive to the oncologist---"Tell me you're not on your way to Tahiti......"

I did ring wisepersoninmylife after I stopped the car yesterday(---on a gravel road, inspecting milkweek plants with butterflies galore).

I confessed that I was on my way to Tahiti.

"Really."

Yep...... What's up with THAT?!

"Bit stressed?"

Nah...... Bit avoidant, perhaps......

"Yeah, well.....show up anyway."

Don't wanna, don't wanna, don't WANNA! I don't WANNA be responsible, I don't WANNA haffta do stupid things I don't wanna do and don't see the value in...and I don't WANNA and deal with grownups who're acting worse the than children.

(g'head and imagine wisepersoninmylife roaring with laughter at THAT one!) (cuz you can darn sure bet that he did!)

Yeah, yeah......I turned the car around and made it to work.

And I was STILL EARLY!

But I'm putting that map to Tahiti in the car.

And no.....I am NOT stressed.

Double whammie...

To be able to invite pain to join in my experience and not have to control my life to avoid pain is such a freedom! --Christina Baldwin

If we really stopped to think about it, we would be astounded to discover how much of our time is spent trying to avoid pain.
We are afraid to say what we think or tell others our needs because we fear rejection.
We are afraid to face the pain of our own anger.
We are afraid of telling others who we are.
When we are afraid of opening up to others for fear they will hurt us, we are not free, we are prisoners of our own fears.
Pain is a natural part of life, and we are gifted with the ability to feel it.
Pain teaches us, makes us work harder sometimes, and it helps us appreciate pleasure.
When we accept pain, and stop exhausting ourselves trying to avoid it, we will be free to live life more fully and without so much worry.
How has my own fear limited my freedom?

Honest. I was gonna skip the reading from this book this morning and go about my business for the day.
ONE more cuppa coffee...I'm not due in for another two hours--quit going in early every freaking day, Mel. If you show up on time, people will call it 'late'. (and undoubtedly they will)

And then I opened the book with that ONE more cuppa coffee.

I have some unpleasant, un-fun things to take care of today between me and other people. Big people, not the short persons in my life that I get the privilege to work with. Frankly, I'd rather be dealing with the short people--ignorance really can be their answer and oft time is.
But we're talking big people who oughta, shoulda and DO know better.
They didn't DO better.....but they DO know better.

I get to go do some things, have some moments with folks that I'm not looking forward to. There's gonna be some painful moments. That's unavoidable. And I'm not sure avoiding it is the answer, obviously.
Nope, I'm not worried about their 'rejection'.
I'm not even worried about their anger--they can feel everything they feel.
But there's fear in there and I'm about to pick that apart to know where it's stemming from.

I can deal with pain....
But fear sucks. LOL
Well, SOME fears suck.

But I will give that it's purposeful.

*sipping coffee and going to take a peek inside*

Oh how I needed the fairies this morning.....

There is no such thing as conversation. It is an illusion. There are interesting monologues, that is all.--Rebecca West

How often we want to be heard, to be truly listened to by our spouse, our children, friends and co-workers.
And we deserve to be fully attended to.
So do the other persons in our lives who come to us to be heard.

We let our minds wander in the midst of important messages.
And we may miss the very phrase that we need to hear-the answer to a problem, perhaps.
Our minds wander, randomly, looking for a place to light, unconsciously searching for peace, and serenity.

Living fully in the present, soaking up all the responses of the life we are immersed in for the moment, is where the messages are.
Being there--fully--is really hearing what's being delivered to us.
How can we know all that's intended for us to know if we don't take advantage of the many messages being delivered to us?
Every moment of every day offers us information, lesson filled information.
Each time we turn our minds away to self-centered thoughts, we're refusing the chance to grow.

As I come together with friends and family today, I will remember to listen for the message. I will hear what I need to hear if I will but listen.

Wisepersoninmylife JUST reminded me that I was given TWO ears and ONE mouth for a reason.
Duh.

Oy brother........

*heavy sigh*

What are people thinking?

Yes, I know you can go to Iraq and fight in a war but you can't order a beer.

I didn't invent the rules.

I don't get to change them today.

They are what they are.

My opinion of those rules doesn't change what the rules are.

If I decide to go 70 in that 55 mile an hour zone cuz nobody's around and I'm not 'hurting' anyone (however I rationalize it), I'm prepared to pay the consequences.

If you decide, at 18/19/20 years of age, to drink....be prepared to pay the consequences. And don't be shocked when they happen. You knew it was illegal when you did it.

But can I knowingly let you break the rules and be a part of it?

C'mon people---you REALLY can answer that one.

Do I strike you as the kinda person who'd just let you do something illegal without saying or doing something?

*shaking head*

What'd they expect me to say?

"Sure........do what ya want and just don't tell me about it?"

Perhaps that's what they wanted me to say........but C'MON!!!!!!!!!!

ME.....of all people......we're talking ME.

*sigh*

Some people's kids, I tell ya..........

STILL singin'......

Then there was that patio ant

Thought he could eat Mel's bugglia plant

Listening all day to Mel rant

Oughta killed that darn ant

But she had high hopes, she had toxic dope

He had antibugspray powers and then Mel moped

So anytime you wanna spray, guilt will pave the way

And remember you can't

Oops there goes another bugglia, oops there goes another bottle a, oops there goes another patio ant!

:-) Stucksongitus strikes again!

Next time your found, with your chin on the ground

There a lot to be learned, so look around

Just what makes that little old ant

Think he’ll move that rubber tree plant

Anyone knows an ant, can’t

Move a rubber tree plant

But he’s got high hopes, he’s got high hopes

He’s got high apple pie, in the sky hopes

So any time your gettin’ low’stead of lettin’ go

Just remember that ant

Oops there goes another rubber tree plant

When troubles call, and your back’s to the wall

There a lot to be learned, that wall could fall

Once there was a silly old ram

Thought he’d punch a hole in a dam

No one could make that ram, scram

He kept buttin’ that dam’

Cause he had high hopes, he had high hopes

He had high apple pie, in the sky hopes

So any time your feelin’ bad’stead of feelin’ sad

Just remember that ram

Oops there goes a billion kilowatt dam

All problems just a toy balloon

They’ll be bursted soon

They’re just bound to go pop

Oops there goes another problem-- kerplop

(yep...until himself rises and shines, I'm blaming Mr. A. Or.......I could just own the fact that an ant was scrambling along the patio this morning and I suddenly lost my 'guilt' over the bottle of bug killer stuff I sprayed on the yard....LOL)

....another TFTD

Many of us have gone so numb and discounted our feelings so completely that we have gotten out of touch with our needs in relationships.
We can learn to distinguish whose company we enjoy, whether we're talking about friends, business acquaintances, dates, or spouses.
We all need to interact with people we might prefer to avoid, but we don't have to force ourselves through long-term or intimate relationships with these people.
We are free to choose friends, dates, and spouses.
We are free to choose how much time we spend with those people we can't always choose to be around, such as relatives.

This is our life.
This is it.
We can decide how we want to spend our days and hours.
We're not enslaved.
We're not trapped.
And not one of us is without options.
We may not see our options clearly.
Although we may have to struggle through shame and learn to own our power, we can learn to spend our valuable hours and days with the people we enjoy and choose to be with.

Telephone

Wanna play a game of 'telephone'?

Isn't it amazing how it goes from 'could' to 'IS AND WE NEED TO FIX IT ALL N O W !!'?
Yeah, well, it amazes me.

So I get a later start on Tuesdays (cuz I'll be there until at least 10pm this evening) and I'm anticipating a lovely 'chat' with my psychologist buddy once I arrive at the worksite.
And then the phone rings cuz the staff are scurrying about.

"The inspector's coming today and we're trying to make sure everything's where it need to be. Should we take all those 'treasure hunt' things off the walls?"

'cuse me---but I believe that's a 'the inspector could stop in for a drop in inspection', not a 'he's coming, he's coming!!'. And why would we take the treasure hunt from the wall? IF he stops in today and says we need to take the paper down from the wall cuz it's a fire hazzard, then we let him answer to the 24 kiddos....THEN he'll change his mind.

"IF? We thought he was coming for sure......we even made sure there was spare toilet paper in all the bathrooms."

Yep.....that's an IF not a solid HE'S COMING. And don't ya think spare toilet paper OUGHTA be in the bathrooms all the time? I mean, c'mon....I'm sure you've been the one in THAT position before......NOT fun.

"You mean he's NOT coming for sure?"

I mean to spare anyone from the humility of yelling AND waiting cuz you're stuck in the toitey with no toilet paper, extra rolls in the bathrooms oughta just be a kindly thing that's automatically DONE, dontchathink?

"Great. We can stop scurring around like idiots now, huh?"

Oh, by all means, scurry around if you like....but let me add that, as a person who's had to deal in 'last square of toilet paper' MORE than once--I salute you.


Gosh.
I meant that sincerely, too......

Trimming

I gotta do something with my sudden drive to 'catch up the yard'.

First it was the porch.

Then it was the front flower garden.

Well, it was ONE of the front flower gardens. I took care of the other two smaller ones yesterday. More digging, more mixing up of the new earth, more transplanting and planting and weeding and trimming around the house's foundation.

You'da thought that would have been enough.

Himself told me I had a 'trim' day.

I made it all pretty out front with the gardens.

I mowed the yard and I edged patio.

'Edged' meant taking the spade (couldn't be bothered with the edger, dontchaknow--I had the spade out from the flower garden work, somehow that made sense to me) and working my way around with it--ten inches by ten inches by ten inches....

So I edged the sidewalk down the side of the property.

And then I edged the back driveway.

I swear I just increased the sidewalk width by at least three inches....

And then--I trimmed up the Brit. LOL

Yep.
I know.

Not a lot TO trim. LOL

But himself got his hairs cut......by yours truly.

And this time, I remembered the attachment! (this is an important thing to remember--trust me, I know) (and yes, himself asks to visually SEE the attachment on the clippers now......oh ye of little faith! LOL)

All this after a half a day at the office.

And there's still the front sidewalk, driveway and footpath to the house to do.
OH BOY!!!!!!

(good thing I work late today--my poor body needs a break!)

I think himself hid the spade, just in case I make it a short day.......

Another message from the reading fairies

One receives only that which is given. The game of life is a game of boomerangs. Our thoughts, deeds and words, return to us sooner or later, with astounding accuracy.--Florence Scovel Shin

Each of us can attest to the truth of this passage.
During the difficult times, however, it is not uppermost in our minds that "what goes around, comes around."
It feels all too easy to be justifiably resentful or to gossip, or to ignore another's presence.
And the repercussions are seldom immediate.
They will come, though.

Goodness is likewise repaid.
Giving love, attention, and respect to the individuals who share our lives and to the people who cross our paths by chance, will smooth our own passage day by day.
The effects of our goodness will often be felt quickly.
A smile elicits a smile.
Kind thoughts bless us as well as the receiver.
Life events do come full circle.

Another TFTD (or two)

A part of really learning to live means learning to share ourselves with other people.

We learn to admit our mistakes and expose our imperfections - not so that others can fix us, rescue us, or feel sorry for us, but so we can love and accept ourselves.

This sharing is a catalyst in healing and changing.

Many of us are fearful of sharing our imperfections because that makes us vulnerable.

Some of us have tried being vulnerable in the past, and people tried to control, manipulate, or exploit us, or they made us feel ashamed.

Some of us have hurt ourselves by being vulnerable.

We may have shared things with people who didn't respect our confidence.

Or we may have told the wrong people at an inappropriate time, and scared them away.

We learn from our mistakes - and despite our mistakes, it is still a good thing to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and honest.

We can learn to choose safe people with whom to share ourselves.

We can learn to share appropriately, so we don't scare or push people away.

We can also learn to let others be vulnerable with us.

(I REALLY dislike that 'V' word, justsoyaknow....and I know that ya'll really wanted to know that....)

Choice of attention - to pay attention to this and ignore that - is to the inner life what choice of action is to the outer. In both cases, a man is responsible for his choice and must accept the consequences.--W. H. Auden

Let us think of ourselves as living in a house with many windows.

At each window is a different view, and within each view are many things to catch our attention.

Perhaps there are some people, some traffic, some buildings, a horizon, and some trees.

If we always go to the same window and focus on the same object, we are not using all our choices.

We may have overlooked some things in our lives that need attention.

There are many things we are totally powerless over.

Our power exists in changing the focus of our attention.

Q(s)OTW

"It's not enough to be busy. The question is, what are we
busy about?" -- Henry David Thoreau, author
What am I busy about?
It is important enough to be so busy?
Is there something else more important?

Well, yesterday it was finishing the porch.

It looks GREAT.

And I put the flowerboxes back on today with the sparkley thingies in 'em for the 4th!

And........promptly noted the scraggley flower garden.

Mr. Bunny likes some of the plants (so much he's eaten the leaves and left the stickey outty bits), thanksverymuch Mr. Bunny!

And the other flowers--weren't flowering.

So.....I dug up the semi-live plants and transplanted them to the backyard. I pulled up all the rocks, filled up the bed with four big bags of potting soil (note to self: next time do this when the Brit's home cuz those bags are heavy!), churned it all up, evened it all up.......and planted new plants--ones that actually have flowers and aren't in Mr. Bunny's diet!

And of course, toted some new bags of rocks out and put 'em around the garden. (YES..I know they're heavier than the dirt!)

Four hours later......LOL.........pretty garden! (please keep in mind it was 93 degrees out there today....*whew*

Nah. It wasn't 'important enough' to be THAT busy. Heck, truth be told, if the phone had rung and someone was in need--it woulda been left for another day. Today's 'doings' followed by yesterday's 'doings'........I'm sure I'll sleep really, really good.

With the heating pad on my back, of course.

*smacking self on the head* Dumb, dumb, dumb!

*shrugs* That which doesn't kill us requires a heating pad? LOL

Is there something else MORE important?

Well, hello?! Loads of things are more important.

Some of the things I did today were more important than that project.

Like the meeting, talking with wisepersoninmylife, meeting with a pigeon, helping someone who needed a moment of someone's time----and eating fresh strawberries and cream!

:-)

Hmmmmmmm.....SECONDS on strawberries and cream would be important, too!

I'm NOT laughing!!

Very funny.

VERY funny.

Six hours of non-stop painting today, three hours yesterday......and when there's absolutely NO rain forecasted.... YOU SEND RAIN?!
Isolated, no less.

VERY FUNNY!!!!
Ha. Ha.

*sigh*

At least the plants are happy?

The British Invasion

*groaning*

If I had the energy, I'd go snap a photo of the utterly white porch we now have in the front of the house.
Six hours of non-stop painting cuz I can be anal like that.

*checking for blisters*
But it's mostly done. Just a touch-up here and there.
I told himself he could pick out a front door matt. LOL He's feeling privileged, I'm sure.

I will own that I'm still pouting about that new porch that went by the wayside cuz we HAD to be 'practical'.
*rolling eyes*

Nevermind. Porch is done and I can put the flowers back on sometime tomorrow, methinks.
AND I can put the sparkley thingies in the planters for the 4th of July.
We might have one or two (dozen) people showing for the parade.

OH......and himself's girl, K., is coming on the 8th to stay for a few weeks.
He was excited until last evening... when he opted to panic.

The flurry of "whatever shall I do to entertain her" started and he's been compiling a list ever since.
I suggested "suntea on the patio" and "watching the corn grow".
I checked the list just a bit ago and neither of them were on there.
And I even told him she could have a pinwheel straw!
:-\

I know he's a bit stressed but GEEZE!!

He rang her this morning and had a 'chat' with her.

"I told K. she could NOT bring marijuana into this country--"
ROFL
Well, gee dad.......dontcha think that's a no brainer?
"AND I told her 'K........you may NOT smoke marijuana in this house'."
(Honest, I tried to keep a straight face...)
Very good, dad!
"AND I told her no marijuana pipes in the luggage either! They have dogs who sniff for things like that you know!"
Yeah....they do.....but did you tell her not to stick it in her purse. I mean, everyone knows that's where you carry your favorite pot pipe!

(I couldn't help it. G-d will just have to forgive me for that one........)

"Bloody hell...........I'll ring her when I come home from work."
ROFLMAO
He's too freakin' easy!

Just for little ol' MEMEME!!!!!

I couldn't be bothered with the camera this morning.

(Actually, that makes it sound like I purposefully didn't go look for it when that's the furthest thing from the truth.)

The gift of sunrise was wayyyyy overpowering this morning. OHmygosh was it a gorgeous reminder of how small little ol' me is in the scheme of things.

Given that I was in my Mr. Moon jammies (and there ARE people out there that do rise and shine in the wee hours) I pretended 'you can't see me' as I flopped in the rocker and sipped a bit of the coffee.

Great timing, I'd say.
Wow oh WOW.......

Who'da thunk He'da put a sunrise in my path this morning JUST for MEMEME.
(g'head and remind me they're there EVERY morning for EVERYone--wreck my delusion if you must! LOL)

Absolute, brilliant idea to start the day with one of those, I must say!
I'll give the Big Guy points for that one.

Did the neighbour come out with his lunchbox in hand while I was there in my Mr. Moon jammies?--uh huh.
I waved.
He waved--- and quickly got in his truck.
Strange.......he's usually a chatty fella.

I suppose he was zooming to get to where he's suppose to be.

Ya don't think it was the jammies, do ya?
I mean.....how could you NOT like Mr. Moon jammies?!

*shrugs*


It's a beautiful mornin' ahhh
I think I'll go outside a while
An' jus' smile...lalalalala

TFTD

"When the time is right, child." When the time is right.

How often have we heard those words?

We want things so badly - that job, that check, a relationship, a possession.

We want our life to change.

So we wait, sometimes patiently, sometimes anxiously, wondering all the while: When will the future bring me what I long for?

Will I be happy then?

We try to predict, circling dates on the calendar, asking questions.

We forget that we don't hold the answers.

The answers come from other places.

If we listen closely, we'll hear them.

When the time is right, child. When the time is right.

Be happy now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fear not that life shall come to an end, but rather fear that it shall never have a beginning.--J. H. Newman

Unknowns are merely joys we haven't met.

Sleeping with Bread

The examen in five easy steps:

1. Recall that you are in the presence of God.


2. Spend a moment looking over your day with gratitude for this day's gifts.


3. Ask God to send you His Holy Spirit to help you look at your actions and attitudes and motives with honesty and patience.


4. Now review your day.


5. The final step is your heart-to-heart talk with God.

It's not the gratitude that trips me up.
I have a ton of things, daily, to be grateful for. It seems to me I'm forever passing on my thanks to the Big Guy. In all honesty, even though I might not LIKE all His decisions (yes, He's well informed on "Mel's opinion") I do land on the grateful side of the coin much of the time. I don't have to 'get it'. I'd be pretty ballsy to claim that I DID get it 100% of the time. The objective for me isn't 'getting it'. It's to remain open and grateful to whatever gets plonked down in front of me--it's purposeful, even if I don't 'see' it's purpose.

I can ask the Big Guy for help with that honesty and patience jazz when it comes to looking at my own motives and actions.
I can even review my day.........and I do daily. That's what those fancy leather journaly things are for. I'm disciplined in reviewing my day--nightly before I retire, daily as it's unfolding in front of me....
That heart to heart talk with Him........ongoing and sometimes rather passionate. I get that way about 'things'.

Where's the problem?

Got a mirror? ;-)
Of course the problem lies in me.

It's that willingness TO be honest and patient about my motives.
See, I can disguise them quite well.
I'm shifty like that.

I'm manipulative and I know it.
It's been used for the good over and over again.
It's also been used for the not so good--and, if I so choose to be honest, sometimes purely for the joy of my own widdle ego (oh, g'head and raise eyebrows and look shocked! LOL).

I like to 'win'.
I also like to 'fight'.
I like to 'get ahead'......why bother with 'get even' if one can 'get ahead'!
(see how my brain takes things and swirls them around.....watch closely folks!! LOL)
Sometimes I start a fight where there is none JUST to watch himself sit and spin a bit--cuz he's just too fun to mess with........and I razz him with a straight face until I lose it and that smirk shows up. The poor things puts his hands on his hips and calls me something culturally offensive in his world. (which means little if anything to ME cuz I don't actually know how offensive it is--it's just........funny!)
I call it 'play'.
And he's just too fun to 'play' with!

Are there any underlying motives?

*thinking*

Nope. LOL

Is that honest?
I want it to be.
Do I want to look harder?
Nope.
I have a whole lot of fun operating that way.
Seemingly, no one gets hurt.

See--it's that willingness to be honest with myself after I implore the Big Guy to help me BE honest with myself.
I can ask all I want. But willingness is required.
Checking my own motives requires that willingness to remain open around my own motives.

And if I'm honest--then I'm required to do something with it.

There's one tiny bit of me getting in the way of me.
One weak example.

I don't EVEN wanna talk about that 'letting things LOOK the way they really ARE' deal that I continue to work on........

Gee.
Betcha there's a reason that 'personal inventory stuff' keeps tossing itself in my path!
Right.
Off to have that heart to heart with the Big Guy.
I know it'll end with "Take your time, Mel.....I got all the time in the world while you cheat you and the world around you......."
*rolling eyes*

*humming for some odd reason*

Midnight, not a sound from the pavement.

Has the moon lost her memory?

She is smiling alone.

In the lamp light the withered leaves collect at my feet

And the wind begins to moan

Mem'ry all alone in the moonlight

I can smile at the old days

I was beautiful then

I remember the time I knew what happiness was

Let the mem'ry live again

Ev'ry street lamp seems to beat

A fatalistic warning

Someone mutters and a street lamp gutters

And soon it will be morning

Daylight I must wait for the sunrise

I must think of a new life

And I musn't give in

When the dawn comes tonight will be a memory too

And a new day will begin

Burnt out ends of smoky days

The stale cold smell of morning

The street lamp dies another night is over

Another day is dawning

Touch me

It's so easy to leave me

All alone with the memory

Of my days in the sun

If you touch me you'll understand what happiness is

Look a new day has begun.

*Reminder to Self*

(Thank you, Rubywelovetheshoes. As a keeper of 'reminders to self'--THIS is a 'keeper'.)
(but it's not what we think.....it's what we do, eh?--and there's yet ANOTHER reminder to self!!)


Who is Spiritual?

Last month on a major afternoon talk show, I saw a man in the audience smugly deride the host for her promotion of “spirituality.” He said proudly, “I’m religious, not spiritual!” On the other hand, I’ve seen people say things like, “Oh, I could NEVER be spiritual like YOU!” This just goes to show that most people have very little idea what spirituality is and who qualifies to be regarded as spiritual.

Spirituality is neither a movement of oriental and New Age mysticism, nor a manner of exaggerated saintliness. It is rather a combination of principles and qualities which is reachable by anyone, but rare because society fails to prize or emphasize their development — just as acquiring a “classical education” takes both knowing what it is and recognizing its importance.
So gaining spiritual qualities may well mean defying the will and customs of one’s family and community. But when one comes to appreciate these qualities, and regard their cultivation as the highest good, one is drawn as if by gravity to those experiences and awarenesses that allow them to bear fruit.

So what are some of these qualities?

1. FAITHFULNESS. Which may have nothing to do with religious belief, mind you. I am reminded of Tonto’s expression “Kemo Sabe,” supposed to mean “faithful friend.” Faithfulness means you can be readily relied upon, and comfortably trusted. There is a consistency and continuity to your effort, and you don’t back out just because of inconvenience. You “keep faith.”

2. GRATITUDE AND CONTENTMENT. You appreciate nature’s gifts and others’ kindnesses. You enjoy what you have even when striving for more.

3. HUMILITY. Neither to grovel or be low. You know your true position, and don’t need ego-strokes to do the right thing or flattery to feel appreciated.

4. KINDNESS. You enjoy being gentle and loving, even to a lost bug.

5. FORGIVENESS. You give up your right to stay angry and get even. You recognize that holding a grudge only serves to poison you.

6. HUMOR AND CHEERFULNESS. You see what is absurd, you are amused rather than thrown by the preposterous, and you enjoy arousing smiles and joy.

7. TOLERANCE AND PATIENCE. You can accept others’ differences, forgive their foolishness, and wait for them to change on their own schedule, not yours.

8. OBSERVANCE AND INSIGHT. This is not to observe ritual, but rather to observe nature, people, and your own inner processes. You are watchful of pattern and sensitive to real motives; you see to the heart of the matter.

9. PRODUCTIVENESS. Your actions are useful and purposeful. Even in recreation you engage in a little creation. While some goofing off is refreshing and even desirable, a life of goofing off is not your ambition.

10. PEACEFULNESS. It is more important to you to be serene than to be right or to be noticed. You gain an immunity to the nervousness of others.

11. BALANCE. You enjoy a little of everything, but none too much. You can learn to stop yourself before becoming obsessive or uncentered.

12. SANITY. Your values are consistent, life-affirming and human-scaled. You show integrity, honor, graciousness and decency. You have a realistic sense of what you can do and what you can’t do; and you can admit error.

13. WISDOM. You see the spirit in others, even when they’re trying to hide it. You are not easily fooled by the world of appearances. You know yourself, accept yourself, and embrace life. You know when to shut up.

14. PRINCIPLE. You have a blueprint for thought and behavior. You see the wisdom of acting on principle and the consequences (however occult) of betraying your principles. It is more important to you to do right than to be right; to do good than to feel good; to be courageous and grasp for more understanding and enlightenment rather than be thought well of and admired.

By this standard, there are people (I’ve met them) who would not meet a single qualification of the “true believer,” but are undoubtedly spiritual. Spiritual is as spiritual does. God knows the heart; we can but guess. c. 1999 David L. Hecht

*going to the corner*

He sings!
He dances!!

It's Mr. JibbaJabba Duck!



And there's only one way to make him be quiet.

Yep.......ya gotta choke him.

:-D

G'head......say 'sick and wrong'.

*snickering*

Many of us have gotten into a rut with rigidity, martyrdom, and deprivation.

One of the "normal" experiences many of us have been deprived of is having fun.

Another one is being spontaneous.

We may not have the foggiest notion what we would like to do for fun.

And we may hold ourselves in check so tightly that we wouldn't allow ourselves to try something fun anyway.

We can let ourselves go a little now and then.

We can loosen up a bit.

We don't have to be so stiff and rigid, so frightened about being who we are.

Take some risks.

Try some new activities.

What would we like to do?

What might we enjoy doing?

Take a risk.
Then, take another risk.

Practice having fun until fun becomes fun.

I'm PRETTY certain the fairies weren't talkin' to me this morning.
BUT......in the spirit of cooperation (yes, I know that's a naughty word in my life...LOL) I'll be making a copy of this reading and showing it to my boss before the administrative meeting I get to go to today.
.....G'head--just LET him try to take away Mr. JibbaJabba!!

Pickled!

Yes, this is wood, a brush and stain....well, pickling if that counts for 'stain'.
This is the floor of our front porch that had been hidden away for years under indoor/outdoor carpet.
WHY I didn't rip that carpet up when I refinished the porch, I dunno.
But I'm liking that I scrubbed the black off to find decent wood underneath.
And I pickled it today.
This was after the fella showed up to replace the steps and not the deck/porch. (yes, I'm still sore about that--I was kinda looking forward to a new look to the front of the house)
This was also after the tree chopping dude showed up and chopped off branches of the front tree. They were coming dangerously close to the roof. Branches went bye bye, old steps went bye bye, and Mel went on her hands and knees to sand/stain.
Himself lasted two planks. LOL

It's painful to be his age.
*snickering*

Ah well, someday, if the Big Guy deems it, I'll become his age and I'll be entitled to groan and moan and be cranky like him!
Woooohooooooo!!! Can't wait!!
The good news is, I can just sorta ease my way into!! He'll get crankier and I'll still look good! LOLOL

In the meantime, we have a pickled (g'head and laugh..we are) front porch floor.
Go figure.

AND we took a leisurely walk about the neighbourhood.
"Why?" (himself wasn't seeing any value in it, though he started it with his remark about all the elderly couples who strolled by the house this evening)
I assured him it was good for people with heart problems and high blood pressure to get out and walk....and that's why all the old peoples are out there walking!
I think it was the "Let's go for a walk!" that got me the evil eye.
But please note that he did go for an old people's wander with me.
Yep.
And we spied in the backyards of the many.

I made sure I let him know that if *I* was an old person who talked funny and was looking for a nice little house on the corner to live in---I'd chose this one!
That got me another evil eyed look.
He's sooooooo sensitive and I really did mean that as a compliment.

Mostly.
LOL

QOTW June 10

Do you find it easier to talk about touchy subjects over the internet, as opposed to face-to-face or over the phone?

As long as coffee happens, I'm thinkin' I'm good for any medium.

'Easier'?

*scratching head*

I suppose there's some elements that do make it 'easier', at least for me.

Frankly, I've always been more forthright if I put things in to print.

Which is why I'm pretty practiced in putting things out there, I'm guessing.

But I've learned to say and talk some things I never thought I'd be saying or talking.

'Easier'?

Gosh.

I might have to say 'yes'. LOL

Yes?

Catchup

I'm tryin' to catch up....really I am!

Ever get a phonecall 12:30a.m.?
I get 'em on occasion.
Mostly some crisis at work.
Sometimes to suit up and show up and be of service to someone who's floundering and needing someone to show up.
I shoved myself outta bed, tossed on some clothes and showed up.
I showed up until near 9a.m., which means Mel was operating on nil sleep on a Saturday ---and I'm was NOT about to spend the entire day making up for the lost sleep. Ohhhhhh no.
Himself kept trying to get me to go sleep.
I was trying to get some things done.
He says I was slurring words.
I say he made it up!
Sleepless and farting around with 'stuff' around the house is one thing.
Sleepless and farting around with 'stuff' around the house while a Brit follows you, quite another.
That mumbling about operating heavy equiptment and driving was annoying, to say the least.

I ended up resting for three hours--which meant a muddled brain the rest of the afternoon and evening. (yes, himself won!)
But I did the right thing at 12:30a.m.
People don't just need someone during 'bank hours'.
Showing up might take some sleep from you, but it brings more than you lose--that one I'm convinced of.

I'm still feeling a bit 'off' today.....
Himself assures me that he doesn't notice.
Initially I was glad for the the validation.....then I whapped him.
Obviously I'm a tad 'off' if I wasn't catchin' that one when he aced it my way.
*rolling eyes*

So far it's been a butterfly and birdie watching, scraping paint from a porch so I can repaint it sometime in the near future kinda day.
OH.......and decorating for July 4th.
(I'm blaming the neighbour lady for that one......she started it!)
(Let's not talk about the bantering when himself ASSURED the neighbour lady that HE'D hardly be the one to be decorating our independence.
*snickering* Sore loser, he is!!
Oh.....And roasted turkey breast for dinner!

Of course himself is making dinner.
I'M the one outside scraping paint, running the sander and muttering.
(g'head and point out what's wrong with that picture if you must--I LIKE it this way!!)

Baby Robin and Mr. Robin out for a leisurely worm or two.

They were just too cute......until the dad decided to halve a worm and cram it down Baby's little robin beak.

Ewwwwww.

T(s)FTD

We have messages to give and messages to receive for the good of all.

Sometimes our egos keep us from hearing the very words that would unravel a problem in our lives.


How hard it is, how often, to be still and to fully listen to the words, rather than the person.


How much more familiar it is to filter the message with our own ongoing inner dialogue-our own ongoing continual assessment of another's personhood at the very time a message is trying to reach us through them.



There really are no wasted words.
Messages are everywhere.
We can learn to listen.

Followed by:

Don't panic!
If a swimmer was crossing a great lake, then suddenly focused too heavily on the distance remaining, he might start to flounder and go under - not because he couldn't swim, but because he became overwhelmed by panic.
Panic, not the task, is the enemy.

Many of us have moments when we feel crowded and overwhelmed.
We have times when we feel like we cannot possibly accomplish all that needs to be done.
For a moment, it is helpful to look forward and envision the project.

It is normal, when we look ahead at what needs to be done, to have moments of panic.
Feel the fear, then let it go.
Take our eyes off the future and the enormity of the task.
If we have envisioned the goal, it will be ours.
We do not have to do everything today, or at once.
Focus on today.
Focus on the belief that all is well.
All we need to do to reach our goal is to focus on what presents itself naturally, and in an orderly way, to us today.

We shall be empowered to accomplish, peacefully, what we need to get where we want to be tomorrow.
Panic will stop this process.
Trust and guided action will further it.
Breathe deeply.
Get peaceful.
Trust.

Act as guided, today.
We can get back on track by treading water until we regain our composure.
Once we feel peaceful, we can begin again, with confidence.
Keep the focus simple, on one stroke, one movement at a time.
If we can make one movement, we have progressed.
If we get tired, we can 'float' -- but only if we are relaxed.
Before we know it, we shall reach the shore.