Uh huh..... This--is Ennis.

Yup. Ennis. I've decided.

She decided to sneak up on me when I was filling the birdie trays. Sneaky little thing--I admit I screamed to discover a squirrel at my feet. Wasn't exactly what I'd anticipated when I was slipping in the birdie cakes for the woodpeckery guys.

Yeah, yeah...... Hello?! At my FEET?!

"NAUGHTY Squirrel!!"

OMG... Not suppose to be that close or that......intrusive or demanding...friendly, maybe?.....

Yeah, well...being the brave 'yes I know how to walk backwards' person I am--I walked backwards. LOL

She just sorta moseyed up to the plastic can (can there be a plastic 'can'......yeah, well, that's what I'm calling it....)--looked at me with her 'YUM!! Sunflower seeds and peanuts!?--Do you mind?' look and helped herself.

Ohhhhhhh....what a NAUGHTY squirrel!!!

All I can say is --darn good thing I didn't mind. LOL

Ennis--yup, I've decided.

It took himself a bit of time but he DID figure out how she earned that name... LOL

Today's Fairy Reading

Do not be afraid to contradict yourself. Enlightenment is a moving target.
Be willing to admit when you are mistaken. That is how you gain valuable wisdom from the mistakes.

Take no offense if others say that you're a hypocrite. Instead, consider that they may have a point, and use it to learn something about yourself.

Steadfastly devote yourself to truth. Yet keep in mind that there is more to the truth than what you can now see.

Let go of any illusion you may have that you're infallible. Get beyond your own ego, and you'll open yourself to profound truth.

Be willing to be wrong. In so doing, you can discover what is truly right.

Can you say "spoketoosoon"?

<-- this is a bottle of Coke

<-- this is Mel's drink of choice

<-- this is required for the uckiness....which has returned ...in almost full force no less......

Yup.

Spoke too soon.

Chaise lounge, blankie--moonlight maybe? *sigh*

Yup.....it's here!

If I go into work with a slight pink tint to my face, ya think folk'll attribute it to 'not feeling well'?

Ummmmm......I think it's sunburn--but that's besides the point.
It was sunshiney and gorgeous out--I was ucky and thought 'blankie and chaise lounge in the sun' was a good plan. Fresh air and germs and all that.....
Seemed to have done the trick. Well, at least I seem to be better today.......after hours of 'down' time and sweating to beat the band. I think I'm good to go anyway.

I think I'll get a few raised eyebrows..but I'll go in with a note from himself "please excuse Mel's pinkness--she thought laying in the sun wrapped up in a blankie was a good plan". I'm sure that'll pass.

Oy brother.

Yeah, well, it was good in theory and in practice cuz it worked!

I'm upright and ready for the day. Just.......a tad pink in the face.....

OH!!

And there's green stuff in the garden cuz himself made me look.

I didn't particularly feel like lookin' and I'm sure my "yeah yeah...green stuff" wasn't exactly the response he was hopin' for--but....there's green stuff in the garden!! (I can be enthusiastic today cuz I feel better, tyvm!)

Oh.....spring has sprung!! :-)

Things that make me happy

....rolling down the car windows.....wooo hooo!!

....hearing himself say "time to bring out the patio swing, don't you think?".

....slickery purple slides.

....the bug batting her eyes and professing "UH.....oh....." after whipping off her shoes. *laughing*

....pulling out the lounge chair and sticking it in the sun.

....waving daffodills.

....opening windows to greet Harry and Sally (cuz they remember my voice, dontchaknow!)
(are TOO the same Harry and Sally we've had for years!!)

....fresh strawberries with cream...yummmm....

Fairy Dust

Once in a while, we forget about the kind things people have done for us. If we think about these kindnesses, we will remember how happy we were to receive them.

These people and others may need a kindness we can give.

Whenever we take the time to give a kindness, we will find that like the boomerang, it returns to us in the form of happiness.

Will I be alert to my chances to give kindness today?

This'll make two for two...

That'd be a bad thing.

Especially when I'm already in 'trouble' for feeding' the bug bok choy.

The bug visits, Nana gets sick. Strike two. Oy brother......

I don't wanna call the girl and tell her I woke up about 1am shivering and sweating and crampy and ucky all over. I don't particularly wanna BE shivering and sweating and crampy and ucky all over.

I thought if I got up and got movin'.....yeah, yeah....me and my thinking....

There's this huge part of me that simply wants to go in to work and force myself to get over it. There's this other part that knows that ain't gonna happen--and since I believe it's the rest of THEM (who were taking turns with some intestinal flu last week) that gifted me with it....it's their fault and I oughta return the favor.

There's also this 'uck' part that goin' on...

Uck.

Calling into work 'sick' is not my favorite thing to do....

A message from the Reading Fairy

We cannot simultaneously set a boundary and take care of another person's feelings. It's impossible; the two acts contradict.

What a tremendous asset to have compassion for others! How difficult that same quality can make it to set boundaries!

It's good to care about other people and their feelings; it's essential to care about ourselves too. Sometimes, to take good care of ourselves, we need to make a choice.

Some of us live with a deeply ingrained message from our family, or from church, about never hurting other people's feelings. We can replace that message with a new one; one that says it's not okay to hurt ourselves. Sometimes, when we take care of ourselves, others will react with hurt feelings.

That's okay. We will learn, grow, and benefit by the experience; they will too. The most powerful and positive impact we can have on other people is accomplished by taking responsibility for ourselves, and allows others to be responsible for themselves.

Caring works. Caretaking doesnt. We can learn to walk the line between the two.

All in a day in the life of the bug....

There's ridin' on the granddad.....(to The William Tell Overture, noless...LOL)

There's bathtime at Nana's.....with duckies and fishies and swimmin' otters even!

.....and thennnnnn there's the quick change artist.
*laughing*

She cleans up gooooooooooood, huh? ;-)

k......

k......I've decided.

I'm freaking OLD.

*sigh*

I know good things come with that.....however.........

Today's Fairy Reading

Denial is a protective device, a shock absorber for the soul. It prevents us from acknowledging reality until we feel prepared to cope with that particular reality. People can shout and scream the truth at us, but we will not see or hear it until we are ready.

We are sturdy yet fragile beings. Sometimes, we need time to get prepared, time to ready ourselves to cope. We do not let go of our need to deny by beating ourselves into acceptance; we let go of our need to deny by allowing ourselves to become safe and strong enough to cope with the truth.

We will do this, when the time is right. We do not need to punish ourselves for having denied reality; we need only love ourselves into safety and strength so that each day we are better equipped to face and deal with the truth. We will face and deal with reality - on our own time schedule, when we are ready, and in our Higher Power's timing. We do not have to accept chastisement from anyone, including ourselves, for this schedule.

We will know what we need to know, when it's time to know it.

Ibuprofen, maybe....

My back hurts.

Now, I don't suppose that's abnormal for anyone who's luggin' around a 'chunk'a burnin' love' here, there and everywhere.
Yes, she's a chunk!
Yes, she wants Nana to pick her up a lot.
Yes, Nana move the huge pots with the sleeping bugglia's outside a few days ago.....so who knows what created the back pain....

I do know the timing is badddddddd.
The bug kinda demands movement.
Nana kinda feels obligated to move.
Wisdom demands one moves quickly when there's a 'geeze THAT'S what feet and legs are for' child around.
If she ain't movin' on all fours, she's staggering around on both twos--and those hands are quick even when she's sitting mostly still!

Could be that I slept wrong--'cept when I retired for the evening my back was already givin' me problems.....

k.
Well.
We'll blunder through the day and hope for things to get different.


It's not like the back pain 'pre-back surgery'.....



Yes--that's where the brain went!
Yes--that's what I'm still chasing around in my head this morning....

Yes--I have a 'thinking problem'.....still.....

TFTD

It's not mere chance that we gravitate toward those who become our friends. Nor is it only happenstance that we are piqued by others. We are, in fact, on a journey and have much to learn. From our friends and even more so from those not so friendly, we are destined to learn what our souls yearn for. The journey is the process of enlightenment for which we all have gathered. From one another we are receiving that which we're ready to learn. All of us students. Each of us a teacher.

How comforting to know that the pain of a particular experience, or the confusion over a set of circumstances, will become understandable with the passage of time. All experience plays its part. All of our acquaintances share destinies overlapping our own. There is security in knowing that our journeys are necessary and right for us.

I'll not discount the value of any person or any experience that circumstances offer today.

Eeeesshhh.....

Well, it started out fine--me, her, the stroller, the park.

Bit windy, bit chilly.....but I'm pretty sure neither of us minded.

She was pleased.

She opted to crawl up the slide...or at least tried to.

But then she lost her shoe.

Well, she pretended she lost her shoe--that cute little 'UH....oh....' when she yanked off the second one and attempted to reassemble them on her feets, I mean--c'mon.... It's not like I really fell for it.
Brown sneaks with pink strappy thingies and flowers--could ya blame her?! Eeessshhh.

And then there was the 'my shoes falled off and I'm walking the stroller--'routine.

The backwards/sideway glance just about says it all, dontchathink?

That and the pathetic 'I dunno how I got allllllllllll the way over here....' look.

No--Nana didn't shove her shoes back on her.

Yes--Granddad fed her peaches upon return.

NO. She is NOT spoilt......much.....

And every once in a while--she sits....

Shhhhhhhhh....

She's sleeping and this is the one ounce of quiet I'll have for the day.

O
M
G

She's discovered her legs keep her upright .....and she doesn't WANNA bend her knees.
And Mel's turned into one of 'those' people....

Yaknow--the ones who let small children make 'aaahhhhhhHHHHHhhhhh' noises in empty glasses and then laughs hysterically.......

People are going to start stoning me.....

Today's Fairy Reading

Sometimes what you think will work great, doesn't work at all.

But that doesn't mean that nothing will work.

Did I mention she eats rocks?

Yeah, well.....the rock eating bug is coming for the weekend.
With the stroller--so Nana can stroll her to new places and help her find new rocks to eat. *laughing*
We have plenty of rocks around the house--guess we won't need to 'stroll' if the weather isn't cooperating.

"She has picture taking Sunday--I'll send her clothes to dress in."

She's kidding.....right?
Yeah, she has to be kidding......
She forgot what a state she was in the last time Nana returned her.

Actually, that wasn't my fault.
HE gave her the cookies for the car ride--not ME.
One for each hand....

(k....I gave her the juice--but that's cuz she was thirsty from the cookies....)

Today's Reading

Giving ourselves permission to be who we are can have a healing influence on our relationships.

The tone relaxes.

We relax.

The other person relaxes.

Then everybody feels a little less shame, because they have learned the truth.

Who we are is all we can be, all were meant to be, and it's enough.

It's fine.

The Bug's Bugs

Yup......he done good. :-)

(and aren't I a good little manipulator.....LOL)

Reminder from the Fairy

It's true that we get back what we put into things, whether it's work, play, love, or gardening. We decide by the extent of our commitment how valuable or enjoyable or depressing an experience can be for us.

Bug Eggs

So--I asked for help.... "Can you help me for a couple minutes?"

Yeah, yeah... It's a good thing!

I asked for help in making foam wings for butterflies to put on the bug's plastic Bunny Eggs--'cept they're bug eggs...LOL Just three, mind you. She's a wee thing and will probably pull the wings off and try to eat those instead of the treats we'll be putting in the bug eggs, no doubt. Three will be enough for Nana to try to keep her eyes on.

I did ask for help--and then I proceeded to glue the jeweled butterfly pretties that I picked up the other day--onto different plastic eggs......while I watched him assemble the bug eggs.

He done good! :-)

I'm tellin' ya.....he had more fun making those three bug eggs for the bug than I've seen him have in a while.

*laughing*

Don't think that I won't use this bit of knowledge!! (I most certainly WILL!)

OH! I'll haffta take photos!

So.....like.....

Happiness is not a reward — it is a consequence.

Suffering is not a punishment — it is a result.

--Robert Green Ingersoll

I'm gonna need to think on this one a bit--but I actually might maybesortakinda like it!

*now going to think--and have coffee...LOL...and visit inbetween and while....*

Things that make me happy

....peeking under leafs piled up on the flowerbed--and seeing bitty green things!

....snow that's gone by the end of the day.

....twirly ribbon kite tails.

....getting my kite up before he gets his kite up. Hahahahahaha!!

....a brand new jar of kosher dill pickles just for ME.

....Mickey Mouse shaped cheese pieces.

....flashy, shiny pinwheels!

TFTD

Dare to attempt things you've never done before.
Every well-honed skill you have, was once a new experience.

Oh look...LOL....a chicken! (or two....)

(Couldn't help it....made me chuckle.....)

Fairy Thought

Taking other people's wants and needs into consideration is an important part of our relationships. We have responsibilities to friends and family and employers. We have a strong inner responsibility to be loving and caring. But, people-pleasing backfires. Not only do others get annoyed with us, we often get annoyed when our efforts to please do not work as we planned.

The most comfortable people to be around are those who are considerate of others but ultimately please themselves.

And so it goes.....

"You really do need to get over your addictions."

"You still allow alcohol to control your life you know."

What interesting things to say to me.

*sigh*

Another cuppa coffee....

"I've been asked to find another physician."

Well shoot--when you lie and manipulate the one you have to hand over multiple scripts for painkillers and abuse the medication.....small wonder.

"Apparently I've become offensive--I've never been offensive before."

Hold on a minute--I think there's a small hearing problem here. Folks have been pointing out that offensive crap you do for eons....

"I was sober for five years, so I know I can work the program."

Sober by your definition is simply 'alcohol free'. I suppose you can be sober and still trashed on painpills given that definition...... Regardless--you couldn't maintain sober by your definition...maybe you need to look at your definition?

"Are you saying I haven't worked a program of recovery?"

Four years ago I told him I was worried about him and to ring me...I wasn't sure why or how, but when you do what we do, you can see the train wreck coming before the train actually picks up speed.
*sigh*
Train wreck.

I wish he'd get it. Really. I really, really, REALLY wish he'd 'get it'.
I agreed to meet with him this morning after the meeting--with WPIML.....who doesn't know about the meeting after the meeting. Well, he KNOWS about the meeting after the meeting--he just doesn't know it'll include this fella.

I don't know if I'll get anywhere. Fine people have tried to break through that denial before--and had little success. I'm not delusional--I know the odds are against him finding something different. But the odds were against me, too. And every single one of us has a chance IF we're willing to do some things different.
Dunno that he's willing.

I do know what I'm not willing to do, what I'm unwilling to compromise.....and that's the integrity of the 12th step--which tells me anywhere and with everyone like me, I'm responsible to carry the message of hope.

Off I go........

TFTD

Risking to offer love before receiving it will free us from the continual search for love in the faces of others.

I won't wait to be loved today. I will love someone else, fully. I won't doubt that I, too, am loved. I will feel it.

Oh look....it ain't a chicken.....

Ain't he cute?!

(even if he was a bit of a show-off....LOL)

Reading from the Fairy

Whether we're judging others or ourselves it's two sides of the same coin: perfection.

Neither expectation is valid.

It is far more accurate and beneficial to tell ourselves that who we are is okay and what we are doing is good enough.

That doesn't mean we won't make mistakes that need correcting; doesn't mean we won't get off track from time to time; doesn't mean we can't improve.

It means with all our mistakes and wandering, we're basically on course.

Encouraging and approving of ourselves is how we help ourselves stay on track.

Yup....big, medium and small!

The BIG kite--sucker pulls your arms off at the shoulder gettin' it down. :-)

Littler kite--much more easily managed by yours truly.

.....AND it's a penguin!! Which, btw--is a brand new kite. Up easy.....down with a crash...but boy did he hold his own! I like him muchly!

And--lastly but always first in the air....'little kite'. He folds up into a bitty pocket and goes everywhere.....and he's easily managed inside the Jeep. Which is WAY good cuz he's out before we even arrive at the kite flyin' place.

K....well.....we got kite flyin' in before the snow flew. *laughing* They're sayin' a couple inches.

And right now....time to thaw out!
Not that himself wanted to go--bit windy and chilly for his liking. But he humours me cuz....

OMG was the wind cold....it dropped right after we put the penguin kite up.

:-) I'm sure he had nothing to do with it........

Today's Fairy Reading

Laughter's joy celebrates the moment we are living right now.

It is a gift we must share, or it will wither and die.

Shared, it grows and thrives, and always returns to us when we need it most.

What can I find to laugh about right now?

k....well then.....

Soooooooooo...... there he-who-made-dinner was---standin' at the window smiling and shaking his head.

And then I saw her--all sortsa munchin' from the birdie feeder, hangin' upsidedown for all she's worth....

*clap clap clap*
NO NO!! NAUGHTY SQUIRREL! GET DOWN FROM THERE!!

Did she move....ohhhhhhh no......
Was himself now chuckling?......ohhhhhhhh yes....

NONONO naughty squirrel....eat corns.....corns is GOOD for you.....

Did I take myself outside to convince her that corns was the food of choice for squirrels? YES.

Get down from there--naughty squirrel! Corns for you--birdie foods for the birdies. Downdowndown!

Dang..... I had to get within feet from that silly, greedy squirrel before she jumped off.

Naughty squirrel. Go eatcher corns.... Go on.... No more climbing onto the--UH oh....(k...I mighta contributed to the bug's first words...) Whoawhoawhoa...nonono naughty squirrel naughty squirrel.....

Right.....this is where himself starts laughing and the squirrel advances towards....ME.

Nononono....naughtysquirrelnaughtysquirrelllll..ackkkkkk!!!!

This is where Mel walked backwards and glanced behind her only long enough to locate the hose with which she was gonna arm herself with......

Yeah yeah yeah....

It's not like she was flickin' her tail and making threatening noises, he says....

Ohhhhhhhhhhh....how brave of he-who-remained-indoors......

(k.........so naughty squirrel wasn't REALLY armed and dangerous....just.....momentarily felt that way.......LOL)

Fairy Reading

The spiritual man strives to keep one eye on the horizon, even in a worrisome situation. He breaths deeply so he does not tighten up or closes off his exchange with the world. He returns to the relationship he has with his Higher Power, trusting the process to carry him through, and he opens his eyes to quietly take in the possibilities before him.

Well--that's a done deal.....

Nan a nan a nana

Nan a nan a nah

Nan a nan a nana

Nah nah nah (clapping is required for the last bit, yaknow....)

We worked realllllllllllll hard on that one.

Of course, the other other boy was working real hard on daddy.
And the girl.....kept rolling her eyes.
I think she was going for mama.....she claims she wasn't but I think she's being dishonest.

And what did we get?!


We got UH oh.

*laughing*

Yup.

UH oh.

Of course, himself is being blamed for that one.
He and the bug play the UH oh game all the time.
She picks it up, she drops it--he picks it up and hands it back.
She smiles at him......and drops it--he picks it up and hands it back.
She smiles at him some more......and drops it.

And yup--he picks it up and hands it back.....over and over and over and over and over again....

UH oh.......

Things that make me happy

....redwing blackbirdies perched on fenceposts.

....slideshows of sunshiney adventures.

....pulling out a lawnchair for that first sit in the sun.

....that one nacho chip with all the melted cheese....yaknow, the one HE was gonna snag. *laughing*

....taking the bug on her first park adventure.

....doing budgety work stuff ALL BY MYSELF. :-)
(with minimal whining, noless!)

....chickpeas!

Today's Thought

Many of us still fear problems. We may spend more time reacting to a problem than we do to solving it. We miss the point; we miss the lesson; we miss the gift. Problems are a part of life. So are solutions.

A problem doesn't mean life is negative or horrible. Having a problem doesn't mean a person is deficient. All people have problems to work through.

We learn to focus on solving our problems. First, we make certain the problem is our problem. If it isn't, our problem is establishing boundaries. Then we seek the best solution. This may mean setting a goal, asking for help, gathering more information, taking an action, or letting go.

Growing does not mean immunity or exemption from problems; growing means learning to face and solve problems, knowing they will appear regularly. We can trust our ability to solve problems, and know we're not doing it alone. Having problems does not mean our Higher Power is picking on us. Some problems are part of life; others are ours to solve, and we'll grow in necessary ways in the process.

Face and solve today's problems. Don't worry needlessly about tomorrow's problems, because when they appear, we'll have the resources necessary to solve them.

Facing and solving problems, working through problems with help from a Higher Power, means we're living and growing and reaping benefits.

God, help me face and solve my problems today. Help me do my part and let the rest go. I can learn to be a problem solver.

Fairy Dust

Our freedom to make mistakes is one of our greatest assets, for this is the way we learn humility, persistence, courage to take risks, and better ways of doing things.

This is NOT my fault.......

To Bombay
A travelling circus came
They brought an intelligent elephant
and Nellie was her name

One dark night
she slipped her iron chain, and off she ran
to Hindustan and was never seen again

Nellie the elephant packed her trunk and
said goodbye to the circus
off she rode with a trumpety trump
trump trump trump

Nellie the elephant packed her trunk
and trumbled off to the jungle
off she rode with a trumpety trump
trump trump trump

Night by night she danced to the circus band
When Nellie was leading the big parade she looked
so proud and grand

No more tricks for Nellie to perform
They taught her how to take a bow and she tooked
to crowd by storm

Nellie the elephant packed her trunk and
said goodbye to the circus
off she road with a trumpety trump
trump trump trump

Nellie the elephant packed her trunk
and trumbled off to the jungle
off she rode with a trumpety trump
trump trump trump

The head of the heard was calling far far away
they meet one night in silver light
on the road to Mandalay

Nellie the elephant packed her trunk and
said goodbye to the circus
off she rode with a trumpety trump
trump trump trump

Nellie the elephant packed her trunk
and trumbled off to the jungle
off she rode with a trumpety trump
trump trump trump
~~~~~~~

I believe it's called 'Revenge for the Llama Song'.......

Today's Fairy Reading

There are so many eyes I'll look into today that don't know love.

I will give some away with unconditional tolerance.

It's a gift -- to myself and others.

Guess what WE did today....

Sunshine--60 degrees even if it was a bit windy....

WE went to the park! :-)
Swings, slides, horsies, planes, firetrucks.... And rocks.
Yup...lots of rocks. (She taste tested one....LOL)

Then.....more slides and swings and bouncey horsies.

And boy did she nap well!!!
Thinkin' Nana's gonna sleep well, too.

;-)