*tired, happy sigh*

After a lovely day in this........whoda been wishing for more?

....Ohhh...but to top it off with an equally awesome evening?

*happy sigh*

Heavenly.

Ahhhhhhhhh......sweet vacation time......

:-)

Sending on a postcard:

"Wish you were here."

*doing happy dance!!*

Okay, okay....so it's one in the morning and I've JUST packed the suitcase.

It's packed.
That's what counts, right?

And so what that I've gotta be up in less than four hours to get in the Jeep and happily start our adventure?!

FIVE IN THE MORNING..... oy geeze....

Himself had the brilliant idea.

He's NOT a morning person.

Umm.....I'm not particularly a 'morning person' til after a couple pots of coffee and my morning readings.

k....

THAT means I'll be up and at 'em at FOUR.

k.....that makes it THREE hours of rest before I'm up and at 'em.

But I'm PACKED!!! Woooooohooooooo!!!!!

*waving*

Happy journeying to us!

*doing happy dance*

We're goin' on an adventure!
We're goin' on an adventure!!

AND there'll be NEW CRAYONS!!!!!!

DOUBLE wooooohoooooooo!!!!!!!
:-)

TFTD

We find God and ourselves through touching the souls of one another.

Our most special gift is being loved and giving love.

Every moment we spend with another person is gift-giving time.

Packing.

Yep.
That's what I'm attempting to do with SOME stuff this evening.

We're traveling 'light' cuz we'll end up at my sister's home--and hotels do have laundry facilities if needed.
One bag for himself, one for me.
One small one for US.
And one smaller one for the necessities in life. (meaning stuff for making coffee and tea, of course.....)

And there's the cooler.
And the laptop.
And goodies for the road.
Oh.....and colour books and assorted toys to keep me busy when I'm not driving. (please note the lack of crayons--there IS a plan......errrrrrr.....plot.....)

And camera bags.
And binoculars.
And a book or two.

And entries for himself to put into the National Competition. (woooooohoooooo!!! He's gonna enter a couple of his models!!)
And this is all gonna fit into the back of the Jeep.

*laughing hysterically*
Riiiiiiiiggggggghhhhhhhhtttttttttttttt!

Weather report

I can't help it. I heard from my friend in Antarctica and she was drooling over the weather that all of us up in THIS neck of the woods are kvetching about.
Yes.......me included.
It's been hot.
It's been humid as all get out.
And everyone feels like they're damp moments after stepping into the outdoors---cuz they ARE.
It's been that ucky.

She bothered to send on her forecast.
I found myself suddenly grateful for not being in that -62F mess.
She's not only grateful for the 30 some minutes of daylight they're just now getting--she's looking forward to actually seeing the sun peek over the horizon for the first time in five months.

Mid August in Antarctica.
Not even 30 minutes of sunlight a day.
Remind me to quit kvetching about how hot it is? LOL

And she sent this JUST in time for our adventure--through where it's 112 degrees on a 'cool' day.
Ya think that's my clue to shush and just enjoy what I have?

Oy geeze......

Life does not need to mutilate itself in order to be pure.--Simone Weil

How terribly complicated we choose to make life's many questions. Our need to make all things perfect, to know all the answers, to control everything within our range, creates problems where none really exist.

And the more we focus on the problem we've created, the bigger it becomes.

Inattention relieves the tension; last week's problems can seldom be recalled.

The one we are keeping a problem with our undivided attention can be turned loose, at this moment.

And just as quickly, the turmoil we've been feeling will be beyond recall too.

We need not mutilate life or ourselves.

We can learn to accept the things we cannot change, and change the things we can . . . with practice.

Okay. I SURRENDER!!!!!!!

Yeah, yeah......so I NEED a list.

WHY I thought I wouldn't need one......dunno.
I do know I'm getting down to the wire and I'm a tad........stressed.
Stressed is a mild word.

I wrapped my head around going, really I did.
I made all the arrangements for work--crossed all the t's and dotted all the i's.
And now I'm toying with plan B in case I just can't bring myself to take off for those three weeks.

YES, I know I have very competent people.
YES, I know it's been two years since I had a 'real' vacation. (apparently extended weekends don't qualify as 'real' vacations?)
YES, I know 'the place will run without me' and nothing's going to fall apart during those three weeks.
YES, I KNOW!
For some reason I'm still anxious about leaving for three weeks and just ambling around the countryside willy-nilly.

I've tried to figure out if it's me without a solid plan that's creating the anxiety. (I don't think so......I kinda like spontaneous stuff...LOL)
I've tried to remember the above 'stuff' and I've planned for it anyway.
Himself is even okay with me making any adjustment so I feel 'okay' about it all.
It's been two years and I probably just need to DO it so I can (re)discover it's just fine TO do it.

*sigh*
I need a list.
I need to get organized and just get in the freaking Jeep and GO.

Once I do that......the rest will probably come, right?

Grrrrrrrr........
What is UP with the anxiety though??
Honest to goodness......I'm REALLY not the anxious sort!

LOL Noone's EVER confused me with an anxious person! LOL

Another reading fairy moment with that 'V' word.....

Often when we're being tough and strong, we're scared. It takes a lot of courage to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, to be soft.--Dudley Martineau

We've developed defenses for protection because we have felt the need for protection from the abuses of others, parents on occasion, bosses, spouses, even strangers.

And in certain situations, our defenses served us well for a time.

However, they have taken their toll.

Hiding behind them for long makes them habitual, and we move farther and farther away from our center, from the person each of us needs and wants to be.

Exposing who we really are invites judgment, sometimes rejection, often times discounting.

It's a terribly hard risk to take, and the rewards are seldom immediate.

But with time, others respect us for our vulnerability and begin to imitate our example.

We are served well by our integrity, in due time.

Letting others see who we really are alleviates confusion, theirs and ours.

We no longer need to decide who we should be; we simply are who we are.

Our choices are simplified.

There is only one appropriate choice to every situation--the one that is honest and wholly reflective of who we are at that moment.

TFTD

Make it a daily practice to review your character.

Review of your character in relation to your daily life, to your dear ones, your friends, your acquaintances, and your work.

Never be satisfied with a comparison with those around you.

Strive toward a better life as your ultimate goal.

To list or not to list.....

I'm sorta one of those 'list keeping' kinda people.
This is why there's an abundance of sticky note pads around this house.
The problem is.....I end up losing the sticky note.
*sigh*

We're going on an adventure in a few days. Like--*checking calendar* FOUR days from now.... ACK!!!!! I'm not ready.
And I have no list.
None.

How am I gonna know what to pack?
I'm gonna guess. LOL That which I forget, I can purchase, right?

Yeah, yeah......so I have neat, orderly lists for the worksite.
Who WANTS to do another list when you have a gazillion going on already?!

Yeah, well--I don't have a list.
Whatzit gonna say?
Clothes, bathroom 'stuff'--colour books and crayolas?

As long as I have entertainment for the ride--it'll be good.
OR.......I can forGET the entertainment for the ride and get a NEW box of crayolas!!!!! Wooooohooooooooo!!!!!

(yes, that's just me masterminding a way to get new crayons. LOL Greedy little monger that I am......)

No list.
Perhaps I need a list!
For sure I need to think about a list!
Gosh...a list FEELS so UNvacation-like.

Right then......NO list and I wing it.
AND I 'forget' my crayons.

I'm bettin' within just a few short miles himself would be REAL willing to stop so we can buy me some new ones!

NO LIST it is! :-)

QOTW August whateverdayitis

Laptops have funny keyboards.

One must 'member to not place one's thumbs on the pad whozit so one can successfully type what one is attempting to type.

...Oh, g'head and asked how many times little ol' me had to backspace to get that typed!! LOL

QOTW --- How many fingers do you use to type? And are you a hand watcher or a screen watcher?

Screen watcher, here. Even if I've made mistakes and have to backspace, I'm watching the screen to see if THAT'S done correctly.

And yes, I'm a touch typist....both hands, all fingers are engaged!

My business class teacher would be proud!

That doesn't explain all the typos and spelling errors, huh?

Okay....sometimes I get in a hurry and just don't bother? :-)

Creative problem solving 101

Oh, the adventures my brain gets me into. LOL

I went to buy another memory card for the camera.
First of all, I got called "ma'am".
Ma'am!!?!

(I was gracious and didn't drop kick the fella who apparently thought he was being polite and helpful.)

He tried hard to not laugh when I showed him my memory card.....and promptly suggested that my camera MIGHT be a bit "outdated".
(He was alive when I left the camera deptment--but just barely.....)

Sheeeeeeeeeeeshhh...."ma'am" AND "outdated" from the same fella...

He's lucky he's still breathin'......

And DID they have a memory card?!?
Nope.
...k.....I take that back---they had LOADS of memory cards. Gigabytes of memory.
Lemme give you a clue......my memory card (bit like my brain....LOL) holds a whopping 120somethingorothers.
Stop laughing.

If the fella who called me "ma'am" could keep it together with just a smirk, so ought the rest of the world!

Sooooooooooo.......no memory card for the camera.

....k......it takes 75 photos and we'll be on the road for six days at a stretch.

Oh, c'mon....what're the odds that I'm gonna take a mere 75 photos in six days?!

We're going through New Mexico and Arizona--Painted Desert and Petrified Forest and all that jazz......oh--and the Grand Canyon. And whaddabout the Mountains on the way back?!

75 photos for six days?!

*sigh*

So he wanted to show me new cameras, that little "ma'am" fella.

Cuz my camera is "outdated".

Okay, so I mighta been sulking.

I didn't WANNA look at cameras....I WANTED a memory card.

So I bought a laptop instead.

Yep.

Went for a memory card, brought home a laptop.

Go ME!!!

But when himself got home he couldn't quite figure out how another laptop solved the camera problem.

Well.........geeze......it doesn't take a rocket scientist!

Simple.

I can't lug the 'spensive one out into the desert and across the mountains!

"Pardon?" (he's so polite....LOL)

Geeze, follow along with me---the inexpensive laptop can go in the Jeep so I can download photos to it in the middle of the desert if I wanna---and viole'(!!!), I can take MORE pictures!

That little laptop has a whole 100something gigabytes of memory!

That's a whole LOT of photos!!!!

Woooooohooooooooo for ME!!!!

:-D

"Only your little brain could have come up with that......"

:-)

I'm thinkin' I'm taking that as a compliment.....

TFTD

You're more important than any of your problems.

You're bigger than anything that can happen to you.

Great things are accomplished when you believe that what's inside of you is superior to your circumstances.

What you have outside you counts less than what you have inside you.

Ah yes.....

Sometimes I just need to keep track of the wonderfulness of the day.




Lemme see.....

• the kiddo who greeted me this morning with a 'Good morning, Ms. Mel! I MISSED you!' (I'd been gone a whole ten hours--most of them she'd slept through LOL) What a great way to start your morning!


• the new staff member who started her first shift today that's got some experience working in another agency that said "Oh.....I KNOW I'm going to like it here! You let the kids solve their own problems instead of professing to be the 'experts'!" That was just too cool for the whole TEAM of staff to get that feedback from a newcomer!


• the secretary who gave me an empty coffee cup this morning. "YOU'VE got a HUGE problem." LOLOL G-d love her sense of humour!


• the therapist who cornered me to let me know that Suzie-Q finally came to report some sexual abuse that we've been suspect of for some time. That kiddo's on the road to a new freedom......


• the other therapist who cornered me to let me know that she'd completed a task that several folks were relying on her to complete.....two days earlier than they were hoping for. Wooooohoooooo!!! She rocks!


• the stickey note a mom left for me to ring her this morning and instead of it being a crisis (which I feared it was) it was a raving report of just how wonderful it was to be heard by the people who were working with her kiddo. Awwwwwwwww. See, I have awesome people who work with me!


• the group of kiddos who relinquished their lounge so their staff could hold their team meetings. Now that was an unselfish, kindly thing to do!


• the group of kiddos who came to me during their summer school class to let me know they'd dumped two full pitchers of water into the outside window well. Oh, it wasn't without purpose, of course....we had a group of stranded frogs. Yep.....stranded frogs. Somehow a whole gypsie caravan of them landed in a seven foot window well and the kiddos were afraid they'd die. Bless their hearts for emptying those two pitchers of water into the window well to help the stranded frogs. 3/4ths of them don't even like the 'slimey ucky' things. LOL


• AND the three kiddos who readily volunteered to lower themselves into that window well to hand capture the stranded frogs when I told them I was about to go 'free the frogs'. Three outta 24 ain't bad. LOL It was just enough to safely round up the frogs and put them into a clothes hamper......so we could safely transport them to the park's pond and turn them loose. May they live long and prosper in that pond! ***BTW.....we're not talking one or two frogs. We counted them as we captured them....FIFTY-SEVEN frogs. That's a whole LOTTA 'ribbet-ing'! :-)

What a cool day, huh?

Another fine TFTD.....

We're not sure, on occasion, just what we have to offer our friends, families, co-workers.

Why we are in certain circumstances may have us baffled, but it's quite probable that the people we associate with regularly need something we can give them......and remember, the reverse is just as likely.

Nothing happens without purpose

So we can begin with close attention to people in our path.

It takes careful listening and close observation to sense the message another soul may be sending to our own...
......and to recognize the messages we get to bring to theirs.

The T-shirt adventure.....

If you've never had the experience of losing your hair, you've never had the experience.

I have. More than once.
As a 'used to be long, auburn and naturally curly', I was a little bit disturbed when the oncologist 'suggested' that I cut my hair short. It was preparation for the fall-out.
Using my sense of humour was a good plan. It served me well.
However, I still was NOT prepared for the fall-out....figuratively or literally.

The past few weeks I've been getting to walk through some really tough moments with one of my co-workers. She's getting chemo-therapy for ovarian cancer--round three of the cocktails. She's not having the best of times.
She'd done a bit of gloating over keeping her hair the two earlier rounds. It gave her a sense of satisfaction during the storm, no doubt.

This round, she's losing it.
This round she lost it.
And this round we were ready with t-shirts in a lovely teal colour, complete with a bold "BALD IS BEAUTIFUL" printed on the back.

All the kiddos........all the unit staff members........some of the mom's and dad's that we get to work with.....
Yep. We were prepared.

Being the lucky 'person in charge', I got to 'detain' the gal from lunch so they could all line up and warm up for when we walked through the door.

And when we walked through the door----63 teal t-shirts dancin' the Macarena.....and whoa BABY can some of those folks DO the Macarena!

She cried.
And yep.....I got weepy.

But BOY did we do some serious dancin' and laughin'.
Life's just way too precious........

Warning!! (contains some mush)

Frankly, there's a trick to my passing this 'award' on.

I read in places that aren't posted to the side as links. And I don't necessarily know that those folks who I have great admiration and respect for need to feel compelled to join in with a 'get one give one' set of circumstances. (that's not my mission in the recognition)
But I do want to say something to a few folks that I genuinely have HUGE amounts of awe and respect for.
And in case I don't get that message through to them often enough or eloquently enough... Thank you for the privilege.

And it's truly a privilege to get to wander into a piece of each of your lives.
You've all wandered into a piece of my heart.

Bill-- There's not a day that comes and goes that I don't talk with the Big Guy about you, thanking Him over and over and over again for the blessed life you've been gifted with.
Being willing to share your journey with anyone and everyone.....What a selfless, wonderful thing to give. How loudly that speaks of your heart.
Bless you, kind sir. You keep me humbled. (trust me when I tell you that's one heck of a feat!)

(((E)))-- There are so many shining examples of the courage (or tenacity LOL) I've been graced to watch from a distance. Simply put--you never, ever cease to amaze me.
I know that YOU know......but I needed to make sure I say it anyway.
You're loved bushels and lotsa and whole bunches. (So pfffffffftttttttt!)

The kindness of stangers-- And while we're not 'strangers' anymore, there's something to be said for trudging through some tough moments with some good company along the way.
I was graced to stumble across your 'home' and remained. 'Muddling through' isn't all it's cracked up to be--but to muddle with even a bit of dignity and grace.... Wow.
I'm not sure you recognize the courage it's taken to get this far....But I have.
(((((((((((((the no longer a stranger)))))))))))))))

Caro-- I'm just proud for you. And I'm proud OF you. It's been a pleasure to watch such a loving soul blossoming into being all that she was created TO be.
Okay.......so that's not been without some speedbumps along the way....
Those very things have brought you TO some HUGE awakenings.
What a shining example of G-d's love in motion you are....

.......k.......enough mush from me! LOL

QOTW 8/6

What do you have to offer as a friend?

Sounds like a sales-pitch kind of question.....
*shaking head and snickering*

Right then (as himself would say).....

Apparently I have a lot of patience, I'm a person of integrity and I'm fairly loving and tolerant AND I'm "worthy of being watched".
ROFL (That last one fits for me. But I'm thinkin' they mean it differently than *I* interpret it.)

All those kindly attributes........news to me.
I've never quite seen myself as any 'those things'.
Loudmouthed, obnoxious, demanding, oppositional....yep...
Patient, loving, tolerant? LOL Boy, is that interesting?

I've worked hard for that integrity stuff. I'll take that one and hang on to it with both hands, thanksverymuch.

Isn't it funny how we see ourselves.

"Courageous"--that's what someone gleened from what I share here....enough to send me on a little doo-dah that I'm very humbled to receive. I don't particularly see myself as courageous.
But this isn't the first time I've been given wonderful words and had difficulty embracing them.

Frankly, I just fumble my way through the moments the best I can--with a whole lotta help from my friends.
But thank you, kindly person.
And thank you people who can see in me what I struggle to see, some days.

Maybe it wasn't such a silly, sales-pitch kinda question after all?

Yikes

<--- This is a great little invention. It's worthy of the whole dollar that I invested in it.

It's a "Tangle".
It's kept my hands busy and my need to wander around, getting into troubleto a minimum.
A whole buck.
I didn't get any BIG trouble all day!
Wooooooohoooooooo!!
I'm sure this had nothing to do with himself being sick with the flu and had everything to do with the new toy.

In the meantime--

--the plants go nuts around here right before they're gonna croak.
And they're going nuts.

*sigh*
Ah well--the good news is I won't need to have someone water them daily when we take off for our little roadtrip.
32 hours drive time!
No problem......

Oy.
What were we thinking?

*chuckling*

Right then!

We've now established that I SUCK at paintshop stuff.

LOLOL

A friendly reminder from the reading fairies....

Let me tell thee, time is a very precious gift of God; so precious that it's only given to us moment by moment.--Amelia Barr

Where are our minds right now? Are we focused fully on these words?

Or are our minds wandering off to events scheduled for later today or tomorrow perhaps?

The simple truth is that this moment is all God has allowed right now.

It's important that we will live fully each moment, as it comes.

Therein lies the richness of our lives.

We never know when a particular moment, a certain situation, may be a door opening.

Be present in this moment, in every moment today's day brings you.

G'head and laugh.....

Having a difficult time envisioning moi as a princess? Yeah, yeah.....I know I don't exactly qualify as the princessly type.

Katherine, however, made it very easy to accept--and I'm honoured for the 'title'.

(forgive me if I'm successful at convincing himself into messing around with the award's graphics to make it fit the recipient....LOL....)

Princess of Halloween (aka Melsdream)
There are several realms Mel would be happy to dance around.
Flutterbys…mismatched socks…and words of wisdom. But for some reason I reckon
Princess of Halloween is her true calling. More than once I have printed out
some little bit of Mel-insight to read again later. If you look at her little
pic….you will notice she already has a wand of her very own….

AND I get to pass it on!

How cool is that?!

Obviously it's a 'to be continued' kinda moment.

*snickering*

This oughta be wayyyyyyyyyy loads of fun! :-)

*thinking*

(WARNING, WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

TFTD

When am I manipulative?

Without understanding our motives, we can easily lapse into behavior aimed at manipulating others.

Sulking is a means of letting others know we are displeased and forcing them to attempt to win our approval.

Flattery is a false expression of approval that we don't really feel - giving others good strokes for our own purpose.

Withholding deserved praise is a means of putting others down, something we're likely to do because of our jealousy.

Manipulative behavior is almost always selfish behavior.

It is usually a false means of trying to get our own way.

It is certainly an immature way of dealing with people and situations.

We have neither the right nor the responsibility to control or regulate other people.

Our best approach, in trying to influence another's actions, is simply to state our own case with sincerity and honesty.

Others must be free to act, free to choose, and free to make their own decisions without manipulative interference on our part.

Oh man.

I am in serious, serious trouble. LOL

And just so ya know......

Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.--Bill Cosby

Houston, we have a problem......

There's nothing quite like being on the dark side of the moon only to discover there's a problem happening that you didn't recognize when it was developing.

Yep.
Houston, we HAVE a problem.

Only I've decided Mission Control needs to take care of this one and I need to keep my hands off of it.

I hate telephones in the first place. Cellphones, house phones....I've never liked talking on 'em. Both are required for the job that I do. Frankly, sometimes I don't bother to answer the housephone. I figure if it's genuinely important the cellphone that I always get to carry will vibrate and I'll get to take care of something that needs taken care of.
Everyone who has personal involvement in my life has the cell number.

The housephone rang last evening and himself answered and handed me the phone. He tried really hard to LOOK indifferent.
That's only important to note cuz of our earlier 'discussion'.

See, I missed the cue yesterday when himself made reference to phone calls he's gotten during his days off where there'd been an immediate hangup and the other couple from a man asking for "Mel" (not by my sir name) who declined leaving a message/wouldn't reveal what the call was in reference to.

Bringing the number of calls up himself had received was a clue that I genuinely missed the day before.
There was no missing it yesterday. It came with a quiet, but obvious edge to it. And the implication was unspoken but felt.

I watered the plants.
(that's my idea of 'buying time'....LOL....water the plants, Mel.....shutup and just water the plants........)

The plants got watered quite WELL, thanksverymuch.......
And I managed to plant myself knee to knee with himself and address the brain swirling that went on, checked out my perception to the unspoken and discovered "Houston, we have a problem......."

I tried hard not to be offended, I tried REALLY hard....
He tried hard to identify where that one came from.
He also tried hard to chalk it up to a cultural thing. Apparently he's never had the experience of telemarketers/solicitors ringing the house and being particularly 'friendly' and asking for the other person by their first name.
"And if some woman rang more than once, asking for me by my first name without identifying who she was and what her business with me was?"

Ummmm.......I'd let you know some gal rang a couple times?--that's IF I remembered cuz stuff falls out of this crowded brain real easily. Apparently I don't have the brain fodder that you have going on?


In this country there's a whole host of people who don't get to identify their business with
that 'anyone' who answers the phone.
Let's not forget the fact that I'm listed in the A.A. directory as a contact person, that I give my phone number out to a multitude of people.....that I have pigeons and people whom I temporarily work with who'll ring the house.
But that's not the answer. Those are just explanations.
The answer is in him.
He has to identify the problem's source and be honest with him.
I don't get to do that for him. But I can sure offer to do that with him....and did.

And I know enough to look in my direction to give a look at what I'm doing/not doing while he's doing his own 'duc hunting' (deep underlying causes=duc).

Do I like it?
Uh uh.
Is it required that I like it?
Crap.... ...nope.
Do I still get to work with it anyway?
Uh huh.

Oh boy oh joy oh happy day......

I did pray for himself (again) last night.
A very simple prayer based on what *I* thought the solution needed to be.........a prayer that's been prayed on my behalf a number of times......
"Dear G-d, please remove his brain..........and PLEASE keep one arm around my shoulder and another over my mouth--cuz I'm gonna need Your help to not punch him if he keeps this up."

Himself even said 'amen'.

TFTD

".....We learn the magical lesson that making the most of what we have turns it into more."