Helpfulness with a Bow

Triffid's New Pot

I came here with a thought.

Darned if I know what it was now......*sigh* Must notta been that important.

In the meantime--Triffid the Tomato (yes, I've named himself's tomato plant) has a new home.
It has a new home NOT because I pointed out to himself a number of times 'THIS IS IOWA--we grow things BIG'. NOT because I pointed out that the six inch pot was going to strangle the poor plant...and NOT because we purchased a new pot over the weekend (12"--I was trying for 14" but he wouldn't bite.....)....but because I discovered pooooooor Triffid the Tomato on his side the other evening.

Yes, it's true.
I think it was the 3' 'it needs support' supports himself tried to shove into the 6" pot along with poor Triffid the Tomato.
What WAS he thinking?!
One gust of wind (k.....mighta been more than one.....) and over he went.
THAT convinced himself!

And that won me an "I was wrong--it needs a bigger pot....." moment.

HOLY COW!!!!!!

I offered to mix the dirt (we do that 'round here, dontchaknow....).
I offered to round up the coffee filter and rocks to put in the bottom of the pot. (we do that, TOO, dontchaknow....).
I offered to help dump dirt into the pot, to steady the 'supports' and to straighten poor Triffid the Tomato whilest himself tinkered away at his own 'style' of transplanting a plant.

*rolling eyes*

Whatever...he was wrong and he admitted it.

Perhaps that's the misplaced thought from earlier--
Mark it on the calendar--put it down for history-- MEL WAS RIGHT about the pot!

k.....I'm right about a lot of things--it was important to me that I was right about the pot.
Triffid the Tomato was depending on me!

Oh.
And it's HIMSELF'S tomato plant.

I kill 'em--so I'm just .......observing.

And I guarantee that sucker'll have tomatoes.
Himself assured me it would.

And I bragged to the neighbor it would....


Even if I haffta steal 'em from the neighbor (who grows the biggest tomatoes I've ever laid my eyes on), lay 'em on the ground under the deal leaves and LIE--there'll be tomatoes.

Cuz......

Quilt Barn #34

Reading from the Reading Fairies

We can relax.

We don't have to figure anything out.

We need only follow our conscience.

Following our conscience means never intentionally hurting another person.

It means following through on the responsibilities that are clearly ours.

It means honoring God by being grateful for our many blessings.

It means feeling joy for the gift of life we've been given.

It means trusting that our journey is special and necessary to the other travelers on our path.

AND she cleans patios!!

Flowers and Water

Today's Reading

Is our glass half full or half empty?

We may see ourselves as positive people, but when we take the time to examine our thoughts closely, we may be surprised.

We may have a lot to complain about, but so what?

We can choose misery or happiness.

It's all in how we see that glass.

Kidnapped Bug = Freed Parents**

It was a simple phone call from the garden center. We needed another pot for the patio, dontchaknow... (yeah--well, one can never have too many pots on the patio....)

Wanna come to Nana's house?

"YAH!!! Nana's HOUSE!"

:-)

(THEN you ask the parents--gotta have a strategy dontchaknow....)

Yup--we kidnapped the Bug and it's now one suddenly busy, happy, bomb-site house!

And the parents even seemed HAPPY about the kidnapping....
*shrugs*

Houses clean later, dontchaknow.

In the meantime--bubbles, sidewalk chalks, noisy toys and DIRT!

Bug has a flower or six to plant!!

**Which, by the way = HAPPY Nana (and grandad....aka: bubble-shooter extraordinaire)

Fairy Reading for Today

Learning to really listen to another human being - beyond just his or her words - is critical to good communication.

Valuable exchanges between human beings can occur only when each listens carefully to the other and tries sincerely to understand the other person's meaning.

Much anger and frustration with others could be avoided if we truly understood one another.

Constant thoughts running through our minds is a form of talking, and we can't listen to another (including our Higher Power) if we are still talking.

Do I really listen?

Rescued shows off

TFTD

There is a positive aspect to boundary setting.

We learn to listen to ourselves and identify what hurt us and what we don't like.

But we also learn to identify what feels good.

When we are willing to take some risks and begin actively doing so, we will enhance the quality of our life.

What do we like?

What feels good?

What brings us pleasure?

Whose company do we enjoy?

What helps us to feel good in the morning?

What's a real treat in our life?

What are the small, daily activities that make us feel nurtured and cared for?

We have deprived ourselves too long.

There is no need to do that anymore, no need.

If it feels good, and the consequences are self-loving and not self-defeating, do it!

Note to self:

If you steal that first cuppa coffee as it appears in the coffee maker it's a really, really GOOD cuppa coffee.





(just remember when you DO that-- the rest of the pot then closely resembles piss-water....)

Livin' on the edge

Fine. Just.................FINE.

I do not shop.
I do not enjoy or even closely LIKE the task of shopping.
NOT my deal.

"You shop like a man."

This was said to me after I presented the right person with the right paperwork for the shopping I offered to do since I was in the area of where the shopping gets done at.
They were kind enough to furnish me with a list....and $557 later--done deal.

Yes, it was quite the list.
I was kinda proud of myself.
Afterall, I'd.......shopped.
*shudder*

"Yup--you shop like a man."

Pardon me?

"Got everything on the list, didn't ya."

(Again--I was kinda proud of myself...)
Yup. Got everything on the list. Even the sticky tac stuff for hanging crud on the wall.

"Everything on the list and nothing else........"

$557 later--done deal.
Get in, get it, get out!

"Yup--just like a man........"

(I wasn't sure if I was going to be offended or smug.)
(I opted for smug.)

And then......directly after exiting that situation-- there appeared two HUGE bags of M&M's on the desk....and an equally HUGE bag of licorice.

"Okay.....I take it back. You bought chocolate! GOOD job!!!!"

(I paused.)
(Really I did.)

(I even thought about it.......'truth/lie/truth/lie/truth/lie'.....)

The gal behind the happy little staff member delving into the bag of M&M's cocked her head a bit.......and I knew I was about to be busted.....

Ummmm....yeah, well.....I didn't purchase the chocolate.

"No she didn't. I picked 'em up when I went to get groceries--and no.....they weren't on the list."





Oh.......Pfffffffffffffttttttttttttttttttttttttt!
Zactly WHO hired these people?!?!

(yes.....I know.....I did.......)

And I'll have ya know himself buys stuff off the list ALL THE TIME.

O
M
G

What's THAT tell ya.......

Fairy Reading

Life is never just one thing.

It is quite possible to feel optimistic and happy even when some things are not right with us.

An optimistic outlook gives us energy to handle the harder things that we have to deal with. Research shows that people who have a positive attitude have a stronger immune system, are healthier, live longer, and are even more likely to recover from serious illness.

To believe in hopeful outcomes is largely a matter of choice.

Many of us have experienced big disappointments and defeats in life.

But having come this far, we can look back and see that somehow we had the capacity to deal with it.

We can't say that things will always turn out just the way we hope, but that we can cope with whatever happens.

Rounded

Well then.....*I* feel better!

I'm PRETTY sure I needed the moment with the boss.

I even invited the 'next in charge' to be a part of the conversation--it was a one way conversation.

"I just need you to listen to me for 15 minutes or so. THEN I can hear what you have to say.....k?"

It took me about 20 minutes.

Actually, he did really good just sitting and hearing me.

And then......I got what I needed.

Seriously.

I didn't necessarily get what I wanted, or hear it in a fluffy, pretty package...and it certainly wasn't comfortable.

But I was heard...and that wasn't in a fluffy, pretty package either.

I love my boss. Seriously--he's a great boss.

And he cares about my life--about ME enough to just say what's true without worrying about whether he's hurting my poor little fragile alcoholic feeling.

Ah.

THAT'S why......

Today's Reading

We can learn to be gentle, loving, and nurturing with ourselves. Of all the recovery behaviors we're striving to attain, loving ourselves may be the most difficult, and the most important. If we are habitually harsh and critical toward ourselves, learning to be gentle with ourselves may require dedicated effort.

But what a valuable venture!

Wading Material

Movement happens without my permission

The good thing about living a spiritually driven life is you don't get to stay in one place for very long. Sometimes you'd LIKE to dally in this 'place'...but you just don't 'get to'. That ain't all bad, frankly.

But just for my own purpose....It's why I like to whine here--next week I'm bound to forget that I even had the issue and I'll need a good laugh.
And apparently I needed the laugh when she brought up what she was pretty sure was an 'issue'....leastwise it was a few weeks back?

I said it to the sister.....I'm just not 'there' any more.

Dunno how I moved or why I moved or when I moved.....I just know I'm not 'there'.

So forgive me if you/they want me to be 'there' with you/they/them--I ain't. I'm moved.

HERE is a much nicer place anyway!

JUST sayin'......

She just laughed.
I'm thinking that was the right response.

:-/

Fairy Reminder

Life contains a whole series of storms, storms that help to sprout new growth; storms that flush clean our own clogged drains.

The peace that comes after a storm is worth singing about.

Each storm can be likened to a rung on the ladder to wholeness, the ladder to full membership in the healthy human race.

The storms make climbing tough, but we get strength with each step.

The next storm will be more easily weathered.

If today is a stormy day, let me remember it will freshen the air I breathe.

Oybrotherandahalf......

I get to comment on a few weblogs--I don't get to comment on a few others.

I guess 'blogger' is having a pick and choose day.

Or......maybe the Big Guy is helping me buy time cuz I tend to shoot from the hip?
I prefer to believe it's technology. LOL

I WOULD!!!!

Yeahyeah.... Amen! :-D

Swim, fishie--swim!!

Things that make me happy

....80 degrees and sunshine!

....baying bassett puppies.

....dead june bugs. *shudder*

....discovering that little road that goes to the railroad tracks.

....flowering rescued hibiscus bushes. :-)

....a found marble!

....Mickey Mouse ears on the Bug.

TFTD

If another person has an addiction, a problem, a feeling, or a self-defeating behavior, that is their property, not ours. If someone is a martyr, immersed in negativity, controlling, or manipulative behavior, that is their issue, not ours.

If someone has acted and experienced a particular consequence, both the behavior and the consequence belong to that person.

If someone is in denial or cannot think clearly on a particular issue, that confusion belongs to him or her.

If someone has a limited or impaired ability to love or care, that is his or her property, not ours. If someone has no approval or nurturing to give away, that is that person's property.

People's lies, deceptions, tricks, manipulations, abusive behaviors, inappropriate behaviors, cheating behaviors, and tacky behaviors belong to them, too. Not us.

People's hope and dreams are their property. Their guilt belongs to them too. Their happiness or misery is also theirs. So are their beliefs and messages.

If some people don't like themselves, that is their choice. Other people's choices are their property, not ours.

What people choose to say and do is their business.

What is our property? Our property includes our behaviors, problems, feelings, happiness, misery, choices, and messages; our ability to love, care, and nurture; our thoughts, our denial, our hopes and dreams for ourselves. Whether we allow ourselves to be controlled, manipulated, deceived, or mistreated is our business.

Daily we are learning an appropriate sense of ownership.

If something isn't ours, we don't take it. If we take it, we learn to give it back.

Let other people have their property, and learn to own and take good care of what's ours.

1898

Fairy Dust

If you want to be miserable, think about yourself, about what you want, what you like, what respect people ought to pay you and what people think of you.

--Charles Kingsley

Happy Two!

All things Mickey and Minnie. Yup--She was a happy little Bug. She's TWO!
One more than one!!!

And she likes cake.
Lots!

Oh yes.....the party

"I'll fix dinner--you get wrapping paper."

Hold on. I HATE shopping. I'll fix dinner. YOU go to the store and get wrapping paper.

"You hate cooking."

I don't 'hate' cooking--I just suck at it. You go to the store, I'll cook.

"Really...it's pasta and chicken."

Yeah? So? Cook the chicken. Boil water. You go to the store, I'll cook.

"I've started dinner."

Great--all the easier! Better get goin'.....it'll get cold if you dawdle, lookin' for that wrapping paper!

"Exactly."

C'mon.....I HATE shopping. And I'm grubby and filthy and tired and I won't WANNA.....

"The Bug will be sad if she doesn't have paper to tear off her prezzies....."

Zackly....

"Go on then. To the store--don't faff about."

Faff about?! FAFF about?

"I'm putting the water on to boil."

FAFF about?!

"The Bug is counting on you."


Yes, they're wrapped.
Yes, the pasta and chicken was good--not burnt even. He was smart enough to turn off the water and wait for my return.

I tend to 'faff about' if I get anywhere NEAR the toy aisle.
And you can't go for wrapping paper for a 2 year old's birthday prezzies without going down the toy aisle JUST in case something cool got missed!

EVERYbody knows that....

Ain't nine to five...

TFTD

We think we know what will make us happy. Seldom do we readily accept that painful moments are often the price tags for peaceful, happy times. Nor do we appreciate that happiness lives within each of us; never is it intrinsic to the events we experience. Because we look for happiness "out there" and expect it gift-wrapped in a particular way, we miss the joy of being fully alive each passing moment. How distorted our sense of happiness was before finding our way to this program! How futile our search!

The way still isn't easy every Step we take, but we will find happiness in those fleeting moments when we can get outside of ourselves long enough to be fully attentive to the people in our lives. We'll find it because it's been there all the time. It flows between us when we open our hearts to give and to receive compassion. Being truly there for another person is the key, which unlocks the gate holding happiness back.

Heart of my heart

.....whoa......

The neighbor has a tree loppery thingie.

It goes wayyyyyyyy up and clips branches that are hanging where you don't want 'em hanging.
It requires a bit of coordination.

I thought I was doing good! I hacked the by-jeepers outta the tree in back before himself even saw daylight. (yeah, well......daylight starts at 5ish, dontchaknow....does for some of us anyway....)
Yup--a whole pile of branchy thingies layin' around the tree. It looked like some massacre, I'm sure. But it worked! And it was wayyyyyyyy cool! I could see the limbs of the tree! AND I could see the birdies perching on the branches I hadn't whacked off!!

Yeah, well....
Change of plans--my job became to trim the bushes out front.
(after stealing a cuppa coffee, of course)
Yeah, well....
Change of plans--my job then became to pound the decorative birdie houses into the trimmed bushy area.
Uh huh...change of plans again......my job shifted to a broom.
Ohhhh....I got to sweep up the fir bits that went on the driveway from someonewhowon'tbenamed's frenzy of bush whacking (pun intended....*sigh*).

Great fun.

And THEN I got to say 'yup' when the telescoping loppery thingy was hitting the branch of the tree just right so someonewhowon'tbenamed could lop it off. (trees out front, dontchaknow...)

GREAT fun.

Right up there with sweeping up the fir bits.

BUT!!
I got to put plants in pots!!

....cuz someonewhowon'tbenamed took a nap.

<-- didn't take a nap

<-- isn't old like that. :-/

YES, I'll tell someonewhowon'tbenamed that I said that.....

:-P

Fairy Thought

... there are many sham diamonds in this life which pass for real, and vice versa, many real diamonds which go unvalued.--W. M. Thackeray

It's high praise to say that someone is "genuine - the real thing." We use the image of jewelry when we talk about character: "Pure gold - 14 karat - rings true - a diamond of the first water - a pearl."

The qualities of beauty and rarity make gems precious to us, and by using the same language to describe people, we imply that real personal worth is equally beautiful, and equally rare.Yet it's within everyone's grasp. We all agree on the valuable character traits: honesty, loyalty, openness, courage, humor, and the capacity for love. Imitations won't do.

I needn't worry about whether someone else's qualities are genuine.
I know what I admire and I have plenty to do polishing my own.

Quilt Barn #33

Fairy Wisdom

I accept the fact that I have made mistakes.

I find comfort in knowing that, in the past, I did what I thought was right at the time.

What makes my mistakes seem so bad is that I judge them by what I know today.

I know more than I did then, and less than I will tomorrow.

I trust that, in the future, I will not make the same mistakes.

I have more information now, and I will be able to handle things differently and make wiser choices.

I accept myself for who I was then and for who I am today.

Lemme see if I have this right.....

We're already short staffed and I'm putting in 60 some hours a week. (k...I've worked to cut it back to 50 some....)

And now we're going to lose 2 more people.
Which means I can run around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to do all those things other folks aren't able to do on top of the things I'm trying to already do cuz we're short on staff.

Uh huh.
Yep.
I think that's about right.

Right.
This'll be fun........

This'll be a growth opportunity.

Oh YIPPEE!!!!!

ANOTHER freakin' growth opportunity!!!

:-/

Lilac Lights

Bitty Thought

To speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves.--Will Durant

Left Turn

There's a new tree on the block.....

I dare say the other one was hit by lightening and it compromised it's health.

So when the city came to cut down the tree, I was sad.
And then irritated.

"GO AHEAD AND KILL ANOTHER TREE MOTHER *#$K*$S!!! ASSH*$&S!!!"

Uh huh.....uncool. And when I looked to my right, it was the gal across the street, screaming from the 2nd story window at the poor city workers who were simply there to do a job.
They didn't kill the tree....they were cutting down a dead tree.
Of course, the hostile gal in the 2nd story window had no clue. That'll happen when you smoke meth and walk out of rehab twice....and lose your kids....both of 'em....

*sigh*

Whaddaya do when the mom comes across the street a day later to ask if you would mind talking to her. She's familiar with what you 'do'--and one of the neighbors UP the block suggested that maybe I'd be a good person to talk to.
And she needed someone to talk to.
Ain't easy living with an addicted child. It somehow shifts from their problem, to your problem, to you ARE the problem.
And while you argue you're NOT--you start silently believing maybe you are.

Today they planted a new tree on the block.
The gal wasn't in the 2nd story window, screaming at the city workers.
She's in rehab. So far she's not walked out.
But the mom's made it clear--she walks, she finds another place to land cuz she won't go back home.

I'm gonna hope good things.
For the gal, for the mom......and for that new tree.

Cuz face it--lightening can and will strike the same place more than once.
Been there.
Lived that.

Rooftop Arrow

Fairy Reading

Maturity doesn't come with age or intellectual wisdom, only with love.--Ruth Casey

We may have thought being mature meant being "grown-up." This meant acting rationally, showing good judgment, no longer exhibiting childish behavior. It's doubtful that we ever considered the expression of love as an act of maturity. However, we are learning that the key to sustained growth is the ability to love one another and ourselves.

It seems so much easier to focus on others' faults than on their assets. In childhood we learned to compete with our classmates, and this taught us to be critical of one another. No teacher tested us on how we expressed love; rather, we worked on spelling and multiplication tables, and we were pitted against other students for the gold stars.

Now we are discovering how much more comfortable life is when we all get gold stars.

We are handling every situation more sanely now that we have realized the gift of serenity that accompanies our expression of love.

Operation: Rescue Hibiscus

k.... First there was the one tipped over in the carpark, just layin' there looking sad.

"Hey...wanna go home with me? I have a nice warm house you can hang in--better than this cold, windy place where people are stepping over you and actin' like you don't exist....."

Yup--he went to the cashier and home in the Jeep.

So it's a bit scrawnier than what I usually get to sink in that HUGE pot on the patio. He'll grow on the patio. EVERYthing grows on the patio.
Everything gets killed in the house...but things thrive on the patio.

Far, far away from my evil clutches--I'm sure that's why.

And then there was the one stuck in with a buncha bushes. OMG the poor thing looked sad--half of the leaves gone, a couple buds trying.....TRYING to plump up to promise he'd do better with some TLC....

"Oh. Save the hibiscus alert! Save the hibiscus alert!"
I looked sad.
Himself told me we already were rescuing one.

"Yeah?......So?"

Yeah, well....himself is shaking his head and laughing at me.
They're two different colours.
And they're two different sizes--one's acting like it wants to revive itself. The other, now sitting next to the first guy...is growing leaves.

Trust me--it's the promise of the patio.
If it were about remaining with me in the house--dead in two point four seconds.
(that's how desperate they were-- poor things....)

Any bets on a third one?

I soooooooooo need to stay out of the plant department.
Or buy more planters, maybe.......

Things that make me happy

....old teakettles.

....yards filled with bitty purple violets.

....fresh asparagus from the neighbors garden.

....memory sticks!

....bitty leaves showing up on what I thought was a plant I'd killed. :-)

....wheely thingies that move those huge patio pots. O M G ! ! !

....rescuing two hibiscus plants nobody wanted. Poor things....

....MUD! :-D

Quilt Barn #32

Today's Reading

Much pain comes from trying to be perfect. Perfection is impossible unless we think of it in a new way: Perfection is being who and where we are today; it's accepting and loving ourselves just as we are. We are each right where we need to be in the process.

*goin' for The Book....*

Thought for the Day

Most people believe that when you forgive someone, you are doing something for them.

The truth is, when you forgive, you are doing it for yourself.

As it relates to forgiveness, you must give up what you do not want in order to make room for what you do want.

You must give up pain, anger, resentment, and fear in order to experience goodness, joy, peace, and love.

For some reason, we believe that if we forgive someone they might get to the good stuff before we do.

Offering another the forgiveness they need strengthens the spiritual nature in you.

It is this nature and your consciousness of this nature that reaps you the benefits of life.

When you withhold forgiveness or love from anyone, for any reason, it diminishes your awareness of the abundance of good in life.

You are stuck in so much old stuff, new stuff has no way of getting to you.

In essence, the good that you withhold from others will be withheld from you.

Breaking Ground

Jammie Day

Not a single photo.

Okay--three--but none of the bug. Apparently it was 'pajama day'.

Uh huh......'Pajama Day'. Which means every one of the female persuasion was in jammies, hair all over the place and slippers on feets!

Had I KNOWN it was 'Pajama Day' at the Bug's house, I certainly woulda participated.

NO ONE told me it was 'Pajama Day'.

I'm sure the fellas at the meeting wouldn't have minded had I showed up in jammies.

I mean....it wouldn't be the first time I attended a meeting in my jammies. *laughing*

Yup--been stuffed in the car 'jammie clad' a time or two. I thought it was a good tactic for getting a 'break' from meetings. Yeah, well......good in theory.....sucked in application, I'll admit that. You'da thought I'da caught the wave first time around but nooooooooo.....had to try it a few more times. *laughing*

Bug told me next time she'd tell me when it was Jammie Day at her house.

SHE knows I have cool stripey jammies--oh......and midnight blue 'cow jumping over the moon' ones, too!!!

Wayyyyyyyyy cooler than the mismatched plaid and stripey thingies her mama had on.

NOT as cool as Bug's Cinderella jammies though.

:-/

Dang close though....

...whatzzat...?..

TFTD

No matter what faces us - an unhappy relationship, a serious operation or illness, a feeling of uselessness or helplessness - it is vital to realize that there is a solution.We must not expect that the solution to our problem will bring us immediate peace of mind. Focusing our energies and emotions on the answer - not the problem - will, however, alleviate much of the futility and frustration we feel.

A medical doctor, George S. Stevenson, wrote, "The solution may not give you everything you want. Sometimes, it may give you nothing but a chance to start all over again. But whatever little it gives you is much more than you give yourself by letting your emotions tear you apart."

Whitewashed