Blind

I've already sent on an email to my boss.

I've told on myself--as I'm proned to do.....conditioned to do?

I admit I was utterly and totally 'unprofessional'.

After reading some 250 contact notes (cuz SOMEone has to read and approve them) I went in to talk to a team with every intention of addressing them about the 'stockpiling' of contact notes until the last two days of the month.....leaving the poor reviewer (ME) 250 pages of documentation to review 'under the gun'.

I admit I was a bit blurry eyed walkin' in there........and fuzzy brained (geeze, and it's not even Thursday!).

The answer shoulda been to 'pause' when one of the therapists hesitantly asked if I had gone blind from all that reading.

My response ought NOT to have been:

"Ya know, I'd heard you could go blind from masturbating, but I had no clue that could happen from reading a bunch of contact notes......"

And that silence in the room--shoulda been my clue.....but nooooooooooooo....

I continued:

"And if I had to choose the source of my blindness--I know which one I'D choose!"

Oh LORD did they laughed.
I'm thinkin' they're STILL laughin' even though I tried to swear them to secrecy..

OMGosh......what WAS I thinking?!

WASN'T!! (that much oughta be obvious......)

Ya don't suppose the boss'll find the humor in all of this, do ya?

Oyyyyyyyyyy.......

I'm just gonna go to the 'naughty corner' and get it over with.....LOL

Comment on Learned Helplessness.....

I had an opportunity to look backwards the other day--and left a comment that I want to remember. (which is why it's being put here for safe keeping)

Long ago....and so strangely far away.
Feels pretty surreal to look back to what I allowed (may be a wrong choice of word) myself to mutate into.......and then to look at where my feet are today--makes me enormously grateful for the journey to 'here'.

Thank you Bill.....for all that you are and for 'not understanding'.
It really does speak to the wonderfulness of YOU.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What a powerful post. Or maybe it’s the closeness of the topic?
Learned helplessness was the end result of very subtle, very calculated manipulations…bit by bit by bit.Like ___, I had that eroding away of ‘all that I AM’ in my abusive relationship with an ex-spouse.

It started out a fairy tale romance—and ended only when he left ME.


It really was an erosion…..a subtle eroding away of bits and pieces of your soul, your confidence, your sense of ‘rightness’.
And in my case, it was all about ‘how it looked’ to the world around me.
I protected his integrity and honour because he was ‘a good man’, because I knew the man I married was in there somewhere.
And I’d made a vow to him and to G-d.
And everyone can have a moment of losing their temper……..and really, he was sorry…..
I could get him help.
I could help him myself.
I shouldn’t have done a, b and c…really, I knew it’d upset him…
He really IS a good man……that good man is still in there, somewhere.
He’s right–I needed to try harder, do different…


In between explosive moments he was all that I loved.

And it became obvious, that if I just tried for more of THAT–the other would take care of itself.

Periods of ‘loving’ became less and less, dependence through manipulations over a period of time—all done for ’seemingly right reasons’ at the time, later recognized for the manipulations that they were.
I became isolated, removed from the witnesses that threatened his ‘entitlement’.
The tables that had been being turned ever so slowly and ever so subtly awakened me to the truth that I REALLY WAS THE PROBLEM.
It escalated into relentless abuse far away from the eyes of outside help.

The end result was total annilation of a human being’s BEING.
The claiming of a human being as ‘yours to do with as you will’.

I unknowingly manipulated the manipulator.

Call it the will/instinct to surviveI became highly visable when I became ‘crazy’……so heavily visable, such a liability to his repetoire of abuse– he became the ‘poor man with a crazy wife’– that he took the circumstances to make himself the ‘victim’ and moved on to create his next repetiore’ with a new victim all of his own……..again…..

It’s an erosion. In my case, a slow, methodical, manipulative erosion–a twisting of all that one IS to keep one in the role of whatever he wanted me to be. And it worked…..for a good chunk of time.

And today I’m graced to be loved like crazy by a gentle soul.
One who honours all that I AM without entitlements attached….
…as it should be, eh?

Today's Fairy Thought

Fulfillment is not a matter of doing more.

It is a matter of focusing who you are, what you have and the actions you are already taking.

Today's PAY ATTENTION Fairy thought....

This is a slow process.
We need to be patient with ourselves.
The type of people we find ourselves attracted to does not change overnight.
Being attracted to dysfunctional people can linger long.

That does not mean we need to allow it to control us.

The fact is, we will initiate and maintain relationships with people we need to be with until we learn what it is we need to learn - no matter how long we've been practicing differently.

No matter who we find ourselves relating to, and what we discover happening in the relationship, the issue is still about us, and not about the other person.
That is the heart, the hope, and the power of it all.

We can learn to take care of ourselves during the process of initiating and forming relationships.

We can learn to go slowly.

We can learn to pay attention.

We can allow ourselves to make mistakes, even when we know better.

We can stop blaming our relationships on God or other people and begin to take responsibility for them.

We can learn to enjoy the healthy relationships and remove ourselves more quickly from the dysfunctional ones.

We can learn to look for what's good for us, instead of what's good for the other person.

Things that make you happy

....jeans with no wrinkled butt

....surprise veggies in salads

....snow that melts as it lands

....fresh (stolen from the neighbor....LOL) asparagus

....bloomin' tulips planted just for ME

....photos that turned out cooler than ya thought they would

....patting/rubbing himself's bald head

TFTD.......

I will not cut my conscience to fit this year's fashions.

--Lillian Hellman

~~~~~~~~~~ AND

We should always remember that our honor requires being honest, not being right.
Demanding that our opinions always be accepted as right is destructive to our relationships.
It cuts us off from people we love, and becomes hostile and selfish.
Allow room for differences; we can love and respect people we disagree with.
And we all have a right to be wrong part of the time.

QOTW 4/27

What's one thing that you hope to never forget?

*thinking* :-)

(feel free to answer while my brain turns on the question.....)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Found one!

I canNOT guard my heart.

*nodding* Oh, PLEASE don't let me forget that one......

Eureka!!!!!

THIS ------------------------------>

...............is a Crunchie.

THIS is a treat that I happily pick up on Fridays when I, still, ♥ the views opens up the bag and offers some to the 'rabble' that come around to plague.......errrrrrrr......harass.......ummmm.......ENJOY her company and partake in her life.
(k.....so I'm probably one of the bigger harassers.....LOL.......she loves me just the same, so pfffffffttttttt!)


Now, I've never had a Crunchie in this lifetime.
But I've indulged in the Friday treat giving for a while now.
'Virtual' indulgence---but indulgence just the same.

And yesterday--I FOUND a Crunchie! :-)

I was beyond happy to stumble across the thing.
Yeah, yeah......I made quite the noise, flashed it at himself, joyfully reported the Friday treat-giving to him and happily added it to the cans of mushed up peas (beats me! LOL...it's his deal), korma sauce (looks like baby throw up if you're askin'...), lemon curdy stuff (ick......) and somekindaweirdyellow pickled somethingorother (I'm sure they're great! NOT!!)....oh, and 'bangers' (dunno......they're occupying space in the freezer....LOL).

I wanted to wait for next Friday to eat my Crunchie---really I did.
One can take just so many "Oh, go on...they're scrummy" remarks before caving.
Resistence WAS futile--mostly cuz himself ripped open the packaging and handed me a broken off piece.
And I had my first taste of a Crunchie!

Chocolate and .......crunchy stuff. LOL It took a rocket scientist to come up with the name for the candy bar, obviously!

I shared with himself, of course. I'm a sharin' kinda gal.

Well, that and..... have I ever mentioned that I don't muchly like chocolate?
Yeah, well.......I don't muchly like chocolate.
And I've discovered that I don't muchly like Crunchies. LOL





Ya think she'd consider handing out buttered and salted popcorn instead?
Just a small bag, maybe?
A cuppa coffee, perhaps?
Or.....maybe I just need to come up with "101 things to do with a Crunchie" and call it good.......LOL

TFTD

When you can find joy where there is nothing, you can find joy in anything.

Place no conditions on happiness, and it is always yours.
Embrace the uncertainty of the future, for within that uncertainty is limitless, fertile ground for creating beauty, joy and fulfillment.

When you no longer need security, you will indeed have it.
Accept that you do not know, and there is no limit to what you can learn.

Let go of the need to possess, and there is no end to what you can have.

It found us......

It found the golf course....

AND the road.....
AND the ditch. (yes, this is/was a ditch.....looks like a river, huh?)

BUT.....Mr. Groundhoggyguy is high and dry and happy to be back amongst all of us!

:-)

*waves at the groundhoggyguy!*

Today's fairy thought

If all is lost, there is no end to what can be gained.

Completely let go of everything, and you surely do have it all.
The more confusing and noisy and complicated the world becomes, the more power there is in stillness.

When the day is filled with harshness, gentle actions grow more powerful and effective.
In a world filled with fear, truth gains new clarity.

In a time of severe discontent, the possibilities for real joy grow ever greater.

At the deepest level, goodness always prevails.
For truth by its very nature will not be denied.

Houston, supposedly (!) we have a problem.....

k.......I wanna know just WHO decided what's a flower and what's a weed.

Himself seems to think poisoning flowers is a good plan.
HA.
That's what he gets for thinkin'!

Nope, no tulips, no daffodils, no pretty pink whozit trees.
WE have an Iowa wildflower in our backyard.
And it's STAYING!

*going to hide the poison*

Hmmmmmmmph!

Friday's fairy thought

When you seek instant gratification from every action, you make life needlessly painful and frustrating.

When you choose instead to treat each moment as an opportunity to make a small, positive, long-term investment in your life, the rewards will be many and great.

What's a bit of flooding......

Yesterday I took the old river road, just for the fun of it.

The good news is, I had the camera.
The bad news--more rain happened.......and it's still happenin'.....


*thinkin' the only way to take the old river road today would be via canoe*

TFTD

Thought makes things possible.

Action makes them real.

The view from the step...

I seem to reserve that patio swing for moments when I'm 'open' to a peacefilled experience.


For all other moments, there's the view from the step.
Singular--it's one step out of the garage onto the carport.
And this is where I take my perch when I'm in one of those 'ify' moments---not quite certain if I wanna move or remain 'stuck in the muck, like a duck, oh ____ (fill in the blank?)'.
Half my rear inside, half outside......I'm in the doorway tryin' to decide if I wanna join life and reality.
k......
I sit on the step when I'm pouting...okay? LOL


Yep, on the step.
And that's where I had my delicious, nutritional, frosty vanilla (WITH protein!) shake this evening. Yummy!
k...........the descriptive part is a blatant lie--'cept for the protein part......

But I had my super duper ducky button on.....which made the moment somewhat better.
(Tomorrow I'm wearing a lizard button---so pfffffffftttttttttt! :-P )

And tonight I was trying to wrap my head around, what's become, the usual Wednesday routine. Only, I've done it earlier--in hopes of having a lesser fuzzy morning tomorrow.
Whaddaya think the odds are of THAT one happenin'?!
*shrugs*
Can't blame a gal for trying, eh?

I was trying to forget all those things I have in my life that I'm well and truly graced to have.......so I could be piffy and pouty and crabby...
The problem is--I've walked in too many places and gotten the 'message' so many times......that I cannot, for the life of me, file it all away and go about the business of being madder than hell about today's circumstances (which, in comparison are sooooooo small.....).

But I still sat on the step.
And I still considered the possibilities of not following instructions, staying stuck in the muck like a duck (oh fudgebuckets...LOL) and tossin' the baby out with the bathwater.






Or.....tossing the delicious, nutritional, frosty vanilla (with protein!) shake into the nearest bush.


Yes.
I AM an ungrateful snot, some moments.

.....and, YES, I did follow the directions.


What is WRONG with me?!
LOL

Today's Thought.......

Worry wastes your precious time, resentment destroys your effectiveness and anxiety drains your energy.

A peaceful mind, on the other hand, puts you firmly in control and out of the reach of the world's negative distractions.
Peace comes easily and naturally when you stop fighting against what is.



Accept the reality of this moment, let go of the need to need, and experience the peace that is already here.


Peace is what you find when you let go of everything else.
Peace requires no real effort other than the realization that you already have it.

Beneath the noise, beneath the chatter, there is beauty...and there is peace.

Things that make you happy

....surprise gifts from suprising friends

....a helpful man who brings you oddles of jeans to try on cuz he knows how much you LOVE shopping

....ducky buttons on shoes

....the first pinkness from being sun-kissed

....spring onions in your salad

....whispy night-clouds illuminated by the moon

....open windows with fresh breezes

Wooooohoooooooo for the sunshine!

Yep.

These---are happy feet in their mis-matchedness. (is TOO a word!)

They're also tired feet. LOL

(which has nothing to do with the pattern or colors of the socks, tyvm!)


It has to do with FINALLY hitting the 70 degree mark.

Yep--FINALLY arrived.....somethin' we'd not seen since November 16th of last year. Indeed, it's been a verrrrrrrrry long winter.

YIPPEE for spring!

And it has to do with finding the outside and enjoying it.
OMGosh......that patio swing was a much needed thing.
I've managed to find it in the morning and in the late evening--I'm already adjusting to the 'first swing in the mornin', last swing at night' routine. (drat that it's drizzely today and my little self has to be inside---thunderstorms this afternoon better be endin' in time for the 'last swing at night', dangit!)

And I've managed to rake and move 'stuff' in the flower gardens to find signs of LIFE!

:-)

Can you believe I was so excited to be outside puttering around that I got sunburnt already?

(did ya know himself's little head looks cute when it's red? LOL)

Can you believe I was so excited to be outside puttering around that I FORGOT to make fresh suntea?!

Can you believe even my toes are tired? LOL

Fairy thought

For everything that you feel the urge to oppose, there's something else that you can support. Each instance of negative energy has a positive counterpart.
When you're feeling negative, you're actually quite close to being positive.

Just make the choice to focus the intensity of your feelings on what you value and appreciate, rather than on what you don't want.
No matter what is coming your way, you can point the considerable power of your life in a positive direction.

Remember what you're in favor of, and put your life into it.

k.......I'm entitled to a teary kinda moment every now and again

Talk about teary....

Geeze.........
People can say and do the kindest things.

Some people come by it naturally.

Others of us--work at it.

*chuckling*
I'll keep workin' at it.

(((((((((((((((((( SLB ))))))))))))))))))))))))

Never, ever, EVER stop believing!


Skinny Awards
Being the recipient of some wonderful & thoughtful awards, I bow my head in shame that I never seem to pass them on. So I have decided to create some of my own...It may take me a year to pass them all out ;)

This weeks Skinny Award goes to Mel of Melsdream.

Her blog is a miscellaneous assortment of personal perspectives, insights, experiences & ideas as well as Questions of the Week & Fairy Thoughts.

Although I don't get to visit her or anyone as much as I once did, I have always found her blog to be a wonderful reminder to Always Believe... in me, in you and everyone in between.

The 'wait' fairy.......

If the time is not right, wait.

If the way is not clear, do not plunge forward.

If the answer or decision feels muddy, wait.

We do not ever have to move too soon or move out of harmony.

Waiting is an action - a positive, forceful action.

We do not have to pressure ourselves by insisting that we do or know something before it's time.

When it is time, we will know.

We will move into that time naturally and harmoniously.

We will have peace and consistency.

We will feel empowered in a way we do not feel today.

Deal with the panic, the urgency, and the fear; do not let them control or dictate decisions.

Waiting isn't easy.

It isn't fun.

It is not dead time; it is not downtime.

The answer will come.

The power will come.

The time will come.

And it will be right.

*!* Done *!*

I don't EVEN wanna talk about the border......

Turned out okay--all things considered!

Yup......I think it'll do.

DONE!!
JUST in time for patio swingin' in the 72 degree weather, today.

Wooooooohoooooooo!!!

YIPPEE!!!!!!!!

*whew*

Oh......*sigh*

Now......to find a victim...ummm.... owner for it..... LOL

Stupid cat quilt.......

Step sittin'......

QOTW April 20

What was the last thing you cried about? Laughed about? Got angry about?

Cried about?

Not feeling well--being tired and feeling sickly for days on end will frustrate me to the point of tears. I had one of 'those' moments Friday evening.....after a not so well Wednesday, a fuzzy Thursday (which, in part, was to be anticipated), and a 'sicker than a dog' Friday. By Friday evening I was 'done' being unwell and just wanted it to be over, already!

Laughed about?
Minutes ago when the Brit stumbled out of bed, waded into the livingroom in a semi-awake state, professed it was 'the middle of the night' (at 6:30am?!) and opened the front door to tell the birdies to 'shuddup'......LOL

He's silly.

Got angry about?
See the first answer--I get angry when I'm not well......

Fairy thoughts.......

First, take good care of yourself.

When you do, there is no limit to the value you can create for all the other people in your life and your world.

Begin each day by being good to yourself.

When you are the best you can be, that's when you have the most to give.
Find the real joy that lives in each moment, and allow yourself to be filled with it.

Your joyful approach to life can make a world of positive difference for everyone around you.

Find and fulfill those things that bring you enjoyment and real satisfaction.

It is in those things that you can bring great value to the world.

There's a reason why it feels so good to feel good.

It encourages you to do what you do best.

Be good to you, and you'll become a more interesting, creative and productive person.

Be good to you, and you'll have what it takes to truly make a difference in the lives of others.

TFTD

Learn to love being the authentic person you are, and everything you do will be infused with integrity.

Learn to love whatever work you're doing, and that work will bring abundant rewards.
Learn to love beauty for beauty's sake, and you'll discover a wealth of it in places no one else would even think to look.

Learn to love unconditionally, and there will be no limit to what your love can accomplish.
Learn to love life just because it is, and each day will be a grand new adventure.

Learn to love the moment you're in, and you'll find richness in every direction.
Learn to love the possibilities, and you'll make your way to whatever you seek.

Learn to love no matter what, and you'll discover what a miracle you truly are.

.....time?

I'm fuzzy on Thursdays.
And consequently, my schedule's been 'changed'.
I go in later--the boss feels better about giving me some time to 'de-fuzz'--I, on the other hand, get piffy about the concession.
Oh well!
He has the 'trump card'.

*shrugs*

FINALLY hit 70 degrees yesterday.
Fact it, it was in the mid sixties last evening and I grabbed some time on the patio swing--cuz I could.
And himself chopped down a plant or two--apparently the suggestion to wait another few weeks fell on deaf ears?
*shrugs*
Seems I'm doin' a whole lot of shruggin' lately. LOL What's a gal to do, eh? You can think you know--and still not know, apparently.
And--gosh, there's more than one way to do things.
Unfortunately, my brain keeps screaming "NO, silly people......MY WAY is a whole lot better/smarter!" and I keep getting internally agitated with the world around me.
If ONLY they'd stop long enough to listen to MEMEME.

*chuckling*
Yep, I'm the source of my own agitation.

Soooooooooo.......goin' in later means I have this thing called 'time' on my hands.
*freezing*

Whoa.
What's THAT about?!
And whaddaya suppose to be doing with THAT stuff?!

Another fairy thought....

The knowledge that we seldom understand just what is best for us comes slowly.

And we generally fight it, even after we've begun to understand.

Fortunately, the better path will keep drawing us to it.

We may wonder why a door seems to have closed.

Our paths are confounded only when our steps have gone astray.

Doors do not close unless a new direction is called for.

We must learn to trust that no obstacle is without its purpose, however baffling it may seem.

We may also need to remind ourselves that fighting an obstacle, pushing against a closed door, will only heighten our frustration.

Acceptance of what is will open our minds and our hearts to the better road to travel at this time.

TFTD

To make the very best of any situation, you must first acknowledge and accept the reality of what it is. That provides you with a valuable starting point from which you can move in any direction you choose.

To deny or to fight against what has already happened will merely waste your energy and resources. To wish that things had been different, or to pretend that they are, will do you no good.

Instead, visualize what can be in all the richness and detail that you can imagine. Then find a step you can take right now that will lead you in that direction.

Losers argue about what has happened and who is at fault, and put their energy into resentment for what is.
Winners choose the life they wish to create, and find a way to move toward it from any situation.

The visit

WPIML decided to spring on one me this past weekend.

No, I haven't found a replacement 'local' WPIML, obviously I'm not lookin' very hard.
That leaves me with WPIML that's been around for a while---but 'over there'.
Frankly, part of me likes that he's 'over there'.
Part of me misses more regular get together's with WPIML and the straighter straight and narrow I seem to walk when that happens.
I'm sure himself misses WPIML being a more regular thing---though I doubt he's connected dots from my attitude wafflin' to the absense of having a local WPIML. I shudder to think he might....LOL

WPIML knows me.
I mean he really, really knows me.
And he 'gets' me, yaknow?
Sometimes too well......but that's a part of the deal.

He had a few things to say about Mel's life NOT being Mel's life.

Ummmmmm.......yup, I seem to forget that on a regular basis.

And he had a few things to say about how wonderful I look.
(k.....that was said sarcastically)
He hasn't physically seen me for almost three months.
Dropping down two dress sizes apparently makes for a big difference--it must, I kept getting grief about it.
Rightfully so.

The two seem to go hand in hand---this physically lookin' so wonderful and this spiritually being so off kilter....

And the angry stuff........just fear in disguise.

Go figure.

I was pretty convinced that was true from doing the nightly inventory stuff.
I'm just not sure I'm really willing to surrender it to the Big Guy and do what's in front of me like it's been 'suggested' that I do.

That false sense of control that I get by doing what I wanna do instead of what I NEED to do--still gives me a sense of control....even if it's a lie.....

LORD knows I hate feeling outta control!
Even when I know I am......

Things that make you happy

....finishing borders on quilts

....the sound of rain on the roof

....brand new yellow crayons

....finding prezzies on sale

....the smell of freshly brewed coffee

....mismatched socks

....bitty plants peeking out of the dirt

Today's Fairy Instructions

Give for the sake of giving.

Love for the sake of love.
Live for the sake of living.

Learn just because you can.

G'mornin'........

I've taken to stealin' outside in the wee mornin' hours to watch the sun come up.

It's a great concept.

Birdies are singin', the world is quiet, the sun's painting the heavens with brilliant hues--it's me and the patio swing.....

And a quilt.

Cuz it's freakin' cold at 28 degrees!

Oh, but what a magnificent way to begin the day....

Monday's Fairy Thought

You have no way of knowing how or when all the things you do will come back to you. What you can know is that they will.

Some obscure and seemingly useless fact you learn today could end up playing a major role in your life next week, or five years from now. Some small favor that you do tomorrow may come back to you in a few months as a grand opportunity.

You never know exactly how life will reflect back the face you present to it. Yet eventually, and quite faithfully, it does come back to you.

The value that you put into life becomes the value that you experience from life. The more love you give, the more love you are able to know.

Your words do not end when you speak them, and your actions do not stop when you've completed them. They go out into life and begin connecting you with the people, circumstances and things that resonate with those words and actions of yours.

Live as though the things you do, in one way or another, will come back to you. For you can be certain that they will.

QOTW April 13

Aside from your family, friends or pets, what would be the most difficult thing for you to give up in your life?

*blushing*

Coffee.

Yep. No foolin'.......Coffee.

Seems when I gave up drinking I substituted that drink in hand for a cup in hand.


I feel naked without my cuppa coffee.
Fact is, people look around to locate my cup when I enter the scene withOUT a cup in hand.

And I tried giving up coffee once.

It was a horrible, horrible experience!

HORRIBLE!!!!!!!

k......that's probably not a good sign.......but, still......

I'd like to stand behind that 'lesser of the two evils'......but we ALL know that WPIML quips "The lesser of two evils IS STILL EVIL."

*muttering*

Don't MESS with my coffee!!!!!!!

Fr. Xavier moment

I went to see Fr. Xavier yesterday.
Oh, it wasn't a planned trip......it was a kidnapping/hostage situation.
WPIML showed up, and we went on a roadtrip.

It's not a very long trip. It was just an unexpected one.
Not only did I not expect WPIML to show up, I didn't expect to be kissed by a monk.
The good news--I like Fr. Xavier....so I didn't hurt him. WPIML warned me it's the monk-ish thing to do when you show up at their house. Ya walk in, he grabs your hand and says a prayer and promptly kisses ya.....weird, but true!

Whadda greeting, huh?!

But what a peacefilled place, the abbey.
Quiet place--cuz they don't talk a whole lot. LOL Ain't suppose to--and frankly, Fr. Xavier is pretty effective in his quietness.
He's hear a number of my fourth steps--and he's just a fun fella, even in his quietness.
He's been 'friends' with WPIML for longer than I've known WPIML. And he's pretty well versed in dealing with alcoholics/addicts. I think WPIML trained him well, frankly.

I needed the quiet peacefulness, apparently.
WPIML told me I seemed much more at peace after the visit to the abbey.
Dunno what magical powers are on those grounds---maybe it's the 'letting go' that happens there, the right sized-ness, the awareness of the presence of G-d.....I'm not sure.

But I do know Fr. Xavier said nothing that I haven't already heard.......nothing that I didn't already 'know' in my head.
But I do know the journey helped move some of it from the head into the heart.......at least for that moment.

But the day's young, eh......LOL..... This, too, could pass!

Sunday's Fairy Thought

As you go through this day, make an effort to notice one small, insignificant little frustration that you'd normally get upset about.

Then do yourself a favor, and simply let it go.

Experience, in that small way, the freedom of being in control of the way you feel.

And realize that you can extend that control to every situation in which you find yourself.

All is well.......

Picture yourself swimming floating - peacefully down a gentle stream.

All you need to do is breathe, relax, and go with the flow.

Suddenly, you become conscious of your situation.

Frightened, overwhelmed with "what if's?" your body tenses.

You begin to thrash around, frantically looking for something to grab on to.

You panic so hard you start to go under.

Then you remember - you're working too hard at this.

You don't need to panic.

All you need to do is breathe, relax, and go with the flow.

You won't drown.

Panic is our great enemy.

We don't need to become desperate.

If overwhelming problems appear in our life, we need to stop struggling.

We can tread water for a bit, until our equilibrium returns.

Then we can go back to floating peacefully down the gentle stream.

It is our stream.

It is a safe stream.

Our course has been charted.

All is well.

Today, I will relax, breathe, and go with the flow.

Today's thought

I have learned this: it is not what one does that is wrong, but what one becomes as a consequence of it.--Oscar Wilde

There are countless ways to take shortcuts in life or to grab for pleasures.

But if we are to like and respect ourselves, we need to live by the rules we believe in.

Whether we get caught or not isn't the point.

We cannot hold values and then repeatedly justify breaking them.

It undermines our self-esteem and damages the faith we have in ourselves.

We do not expect to be perfect, but we must be accountable.

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Personally, I'm ready to be accountable for duct taping himself to a chair.

*nodding*

And I'm ready to discuss a change of hours for Thursdays--cuz the boss thinks that's a gooder plan than me showing up fuzzy headed for the Administrative meeting.....which means that I'm driving the distance with a not so clear head........which he doesn't like......which I'm sure if I had a clear head, *I* wouldn't like.

But what I DON'T like, is the concession.

Small wonder I'm willing to sacrifice himself to the chair! LOL

Or....maybe himself would be willing to duct tape ME to the patio swing.......and gimme a push once in a while........