Ohhhh...definitely Karma!!!

Reminder to self:  Leaving early is a VERY good thing.  Checking the radar on the internet--also a very good thing.  It's not like I didn't KNOW--the weather alert noisy box thingy told me we were in a WATCH.  A W.A.T.C.H.--as in keep your eye out in CASE.
Right, well....I'm thinking it was nice of the darn thing to change its mind into a 'warning' while I was getting to drive into it.
And the photo--is from the airport--my little trek was through the mess in the back and to the left--yaknow--the darn near BLACK bit.

The good news--I left early enough that I was just catching the winds and downpour as I got into an area where there was an EXIT to pull off on....and a parking lot to sit it out in.
The GOODER news--I'd taken an alternate route BECAUSE I knew it was bound to get a bit messy.  Nope--no going the normal route--river's up, creeks are swollen/flooded....NOT in the mood for managing a flashflood while I'm behind the wheel.
The BESTEST news?! The parking lot was attached to a little dress shop and I dodged the rain and lightening to snag a skirt that called to me from the window. HA!

Uh huh...
Karma.  :-/

DO IT Fairy

Some of us are crazy about self-help books, inspirational tapes, and personal improvement seminars. 

We'll buy or sign up for anything, whatever the price, if it promises revolutionary insights or a foolproof new system. 

We want relief in a day and deliverance in a weekend. 

And we want the expert of the hour to do it for us.

There's nothing wrong with wishing, of course. 

But there's a lot wrong with kidding ourselves as a way of life. 

Think about it: If progress could be bought, we wouldn't need to be meditating. 

If personal transformation resulted from collecting new ideas, we'd have been transformed long ago. 

Exploring is great. 

And looking for all the inspiration and wisdom we can find is necessary for growth. 

But changing is doing. 

All the plans and schemes for improvement put together won't change a thing if we don't put the principles into daily practice. 

Even catchy words are just words.

Okay......single file--line up!

TFTD

How often have we complained that we would be able to do something if only another thing weren't preventing us. I can't is our answer when we look around us and see only potential obstacles to accomplishing something. We need to realize, however, that I can't is just another way of saying I fear.

If we took away our fearfulness, think of all we could do. There would be nothing to prevent us from taking risks, trying new things, going new places, becoming more intimate, changing careers, going back to school...

.

We can change our response of I can't to I'll try. We can take the first step away from our fear toward trying something new. There are no obstacles in our path only the ones we put there to protect us from things we fear.

Woohoo!!!

He's home, he's home, he's home!!!
And I have shells and rocks and sea glass from the sea!!
He's home, he's home, he's home!!

*snickering*
And we have crappy weather...and the weather alert noisy box thingy MISSED HIM!!
*laughing*

Dusting

Fear is the cheapest room in the house. 

I would like to see you living in better conditions.

Disappearing Act

Things that make me happy....

....bright yellow place mats settled over bright red place mats settled on the red, white, blue and yellow table cloth.

....the wee reprieve from rain that let me sit on the patio swing for the first time in four days.

....pulling stray weeds from the driveway--much easier when the earth is rain soaked!

....foggy mornings and a camera.  :-)

....NOT getting stuck on that dirt road I thought it was a good idea to drive on following 4" of rain.

....gorgeous, salmon coloured flowers on a tree at the gardens.

....leaving my jacket at home.

Fairy Reminder

All the problems you face today are going to go

away, unless you worry them to stay.

Problems like worry.  Worry is a magnet for them.  If

you just "let it be," the current worrisome condition

will not even be part of your life a short time from now.

If you worry enough about it, however, you can be sure

that it will stick around. 

ooooohhhh K!!

Well then....dusted, vacuumed, coffee nook is looking friendly....clean linens and a flooded bit of countryside here and there.  Yup, I think we're ready for the return of he-who-was-doing-everything.  Only, he ain't gonna be doing that on return....cuz I said so.

He's gonna be sad...happy for the trip, but sad for getting to leave them again.
*sigh*  How can he not be.

Yup....well....not a whole lot in the house to feed the man.  And I'm not real capable of "fixing" that today.  Guess he'll get a day of catch up and deal with the empty fridge?  We have coffee.  We have toilet paper.  Life is good!
Is in my world.  LOL

Two more sleeps!
Wow....it's been forever since I've noted noted noted time that way....weird....

Dusty Dusk

TFTD

You have an opportunity this day to really affect

someone's life for the better.  Watch for it.

Someone is needing something from you, and they are

going to come right to you to get it.  Someone--friend

or stranger--will cross your path in the

hours ahead, looking for the most important gift you

can give them: uplift for the soul.

Your job: return them to themselves.  Find a way to

allow them to feel good about themselves again.  Just

a word, or a smile, can do it.

Dusting

No one is as capable of gratitude as one who has emerged from the kingdom of night.

Elie Wiesel

UH ohhhh

95 steps to the sea?  Notsomuch this spot, but another where he snagged me some shells!!  Woohoo!!  Treasures!!!

...k...I'd do the 95 steps
Fact is, I'm thinking I DID at least 95 steps to get the three loads of laundry taken care of today.  But there's clean sheets and clean towels....and I put out a new tablecloth and placemats.  AND tried (and mostly failed) to liven up that little nook coffee used to happen in.  I say "used to" cuz it now happens in the study or livingroom.  But I'm a bit more practiced in getting a solo cuppa coffee from point A to to point B now...so maybe I can reclaim the nook?  Yeah well, I'll work at it some more tomorrow and see if I can liven it up a bit....
Oh, but I did undo the disaster that happened in the linen closet.  My idea of putting things away apparently is foreign to foreigners?  LOL. At least things no longer are leaping off the shelves when ya open the door!

Nope, not the most exciting way to spend the day, but it was a rainy one....so cranking up "Hotel California" and performing menial tasks seemed appropriate.
I better hope for a dry day tomorrow...LOL...I think I'm getting scary!

HisSpace(dot)ohIsowish

MySpace(dot)comesitaspell

Fairy Diddy

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

Leo Buscaglia

Pretty in White

Daily Thought

Only those who dare, truly live.

  —Ruth P. Freedman

We receive from life, from every experience, from each interaction according to what we have given. When we commit ourselves fully to an experience, it will bless us. When we give ourselves wholly to any moment, our awareness of reality will be heightened. When we risk knowing someone else, truly knowing them, we will find ourselves.

Can you say....

....back to work full time?!

This is a good thing.  And not only do I get to be full time, I got to be on the unit with the kiddos yesterday....and today.
Oh man have I missed that.

And the HR people were very gracious cuz part of the messiness seemed to be on their part.  They decided they'd move me to full time last Wednesday.  LOL. Apparently they think the secretary purging the release from the printer was somehow their fault?  LOL.  I'll let 'em.  And even though I'm limited to sitting and 30-40 minutes drive-time, this feels way better than having to shove myself out the door with stuff unfinished.
And I got to meet kiddos I'd only read and heard about.  Wow do we have some very awesome kiddos right now.
Wow am I tired.  LOL
It's a good kinda tired though.
WOOOHOOO!!!

Treasures in the Shadows

Reading for Today

Today we can slow down by taking twenty minutes for solitude and quiet, for meditation or prayer. We can call a friend simply for a moment of contact. We might read something to give ourselves some ideas to ponder, or we can listen to music, which will transport us to another world. Perhaps we can simply walk more slowly from our cars or the bus stop to our homes. Often it is not the events in our lives that bring change but the space between events.

Today, I will try to remember that slowing down may help me find what I am seeking.

Oh Look.....Here's My Heart(s)

Ack........again......*sigh*

Optimism.....pffffffffffttttttt.

I thought reading fairies were suppose to be inspirational and uplifting!
Yeah......notsomuch with the optimism fairy this morning.

Right.  I'm suppose to CHOOSE optimism!
I'm suppose to DECIDE to have hope and a positive attitude.

Lemme own I spent the morning bonding with the coffee cup, bouncing here and there, doin' what I do in the morning....being the miserable MEMEME MiserableME that I was.  And then I started commenting on what I was getting to read.......and some of that was a tad on the MiserableME side, I'm sure.
And I read some more, visited some more...read......rolled my eyes..LOL.....and commented again.
Trust me...muttering happened here and there.

I haven't quite advanced myself into 'gratitude' and 'optimism' and 'hope-filled'...but I think I'm done whining and carrying on and thinkin' it's all about MEMEME.

Gee, golly....it's NOT about MEMEME?
Go figure.

I have a broken leg.  It's SUPPOSE to be healing (for the past 5/6 months--darn RIGHT it's SUPPOSE to be healing)....it is not.
Well, it's not healing to the degree that it's needing to heal.  And I saw (on my lovely electronic 'chart') that I have 'consultations' scheduled for the next appointment at the start of June.
Talk about MEMEME over-reacting and borrowing troubles.  See, I had to go to my 'electronic chart' to get yet ANOTHER copy of my work release--nope--not back to work full time yet......LONG, complicated, annoying story.....
And yup--THERE it was--bigger than life:
Consultation with prosthetics/orthotics
Consultation with RBH Physical Therapy
Consultation with RBH Physical Therapy/Services

Choose optimism!  BE HAPPY anyway.
Probably about the doc wanting to have it scheduled IN case--yeah...proactive--we did talk about that....

I wanted to choke the fairy this morning.....still might, given that I just put all that in black and white--won't...but WANT to!!  Or...maybe want to briefly?  Cuz I'm 'entitled' given the circumstances?

Yeah....right......ME and my over-inflated sense of 'entitlement'. *sigh*
I'm done now....maybe......
I'll just be sad.....cuz I so wanted to not have to DO those things.  And yes, I simply could be borrowing troubles.  However, I know what's physically going on here--and it ain't good.  No, there's no pain involved--but I don't see how the snapping (now multiple snaps even in the brace and visibly shifting the leg's form OUT of the brace) is a good indicator.
I suppose the responsible thing to do is to ring the nurse NOT about the work release and the questions pertaining to those notes about 'consultations'--but about the symptoms I seem to now be having.
I DON'T WANNA--especially cuz he-who's-away...is away.  And if *I* don't consult the doc--then there's not really a problem!.....right? And then I don't haffta tell him and poop all over his time with his kiddos and mum.....cuz he'll freak out......so......delay is a good thing, given those circumstances.

Wrong.  Maybe wrong?  Wrong, but with good intentions so that makes it 'okay'?
*sigh*

Wonderful.
Yeah.  It never turns out well when I try to lie my way through something courtesy of omission of the truth.....
Optimism and choose to be HAPPY.
Small wonder I wanted to choke the fairy......

Still might....

Today's Reading

 A truly powerful force in the universe is that of optimism. Optimism lies at the root of our mental and physical health. Feelings of hope can stimulate the body's immune system and inspire recovery from a critical illness.

Optimism expresses itself in the persistence and resilience of living things. A child learning to walk repeatedly falls down and picks himself up until he stands erect. A decade after the eruption of Mt. St. Helens destroyed the local ecology, life reestablished itself on this volcano with amazing abundance and rapidity. And despite its hostile environment, a sole dandelion miraculously pushes itself up through a crack in the concrete. That dandelion is optimistic that it can and will survive.

In the long run, the forces of love and life always triumph over those of fear and death. No matter how challenging the obstacles or difficult the tests, there is always cause for optimism.

umm....

Right....it's 3 in the afternoon and I'm home.  Run out of things to do in other places.  Yesterday I was home at the same time....and I watered plants, took my walk, got dinner, trimmed the yard, did dishes, took out the trash and got laundry done...

I'm getting a tad concerned that I'll resort to watching the 5th season of "The Big Bang Theory" at this rate.
CERTAINLY can't paint the kitchen! (Not that I've not tried to work it out in this brain of mine...)

I think I'm getting bored....O.M.G.

Fairy Thought

As we focus on the present moment, we live it deeper, 

and we derive a satisfaction that we did not know when we were regretting the past 

and worrying about the future. 

Whatever happens, now is all I can manage and all I need.

Round 2 tonight....any bets?

Apparently he-who-worries gets weather alerts on his phone AND on his computer.  Not to worry I reminded him-- I have the handy dandy weather alert noisy box.
Uh huh....and it's not just set to THIS little 'ol county....NO sir!!  Cuz he-who-likes-to-make-sure-I-have-plenty-of-notice has it set for not just THIS little ol' county, but the one to the north(in case that bad weather gets confused and moves in a southernly direction....which it does not DO in the spring!), the county to the south, the county to the east (so I can wave goodbye to it apparently), AND (you guessed it!), the county to the west.
NOW...considering that we are in the northern part of this county, that's more than ample warning of anything that's having its hayday or working up to having it.

Yes, we had a tornado watch all day yesterday...until 3am this morning.  Yes, we had a severe thunderstorm warning...and son of a gun...70mph winds that shoved that line of storms through ... at 11 something last night.  And yep....SIX times that handy dandy weather alert noisy box went off after 1030pm.  And yep, I waved when it went into the eastern county.

And when he rang into work this morning morningcuz he had this deluge of emails and texts and STUFF......I sang praises for that handy dandy weather alert noisy box!
I did NOT repeat the words I muttered when, FOR THE SIXTH TIME,  it loudly...LOUDLY...informed me what the National Weather Service thought I oughta know.

Bless their little hearts.  :-/

We had nooooo electricity for three hours....but did that stop my handy dandy weather alert noisy box?!?!!

Batteries.

Brand spankin' new batteries .......

The Cutty Sark

TFTD

Nothing happens to any man that he is not formed by nature to bear.

--Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

Reflecting on the past reveals that indeed we do find the strength and the ability to cope with whatever experience ripples our calm. Moreover, we have come to accept that these tides of turmoil wash in new awarenesses, heightened perceptions, and measurable calm.

Tragedies are guaranteed to trigger first pain, then perceptible growth, and finally, tranquility. Over and over again we pass through these stages that are designed to nurture our fuller development as healthy human beings. Over and over we see that the tough times teach us what we're ready to learn.

We can look to the day ahead fully expecting to be strengthened enough to handle whatever we've been readied to experience. Nothing will present itself that can't be coped with.

Shhh...artist at work!

Blue arm, pink leg....ain't telling the butt colour!  LOL. Hers OR mine...

Yup, we played with chalks!  And the Bug came beaing gifts for Nana, pretty flowers, rainbow sidewalk chalks ( which were for sharing so half went home with her, dontchaknow.LOL ), and she brought her daddy who made me an awesome, awesome salad while we played on the patio....the 4 year old, the broken legged Nana, AND the boot wearing mom who had to have help getting up.  ROFL
**Please note Nana got up with noooooo assistance needed!

And now....my lovely canvas will soon be erased.  Perfectly okay....That just means they'll come back and create again!  :-)

Patio Happiness

Moderation--I think I mighta found some....

24 pots and 8 flower boxes later.....

I think I have a HAPPY spot!
Okay....so 4 of those flower boxes are on the front of the house.  The rest are RIGHT where I can see 'em.

Yellow. Yellow, yellow, yellow...and white.
And white and yellow.  LOL
It's all good--we have purple and white and pink buddleias.  (MAN is it gonna be a jungle on the patio--those suckers are getting tall and wide....)And there's the his-biscius to get out there yet.  AND a hanging arrangement.  Oh....yeah, well...maybe a few others sprinkled here and there if I'm inspired.
Actually--that'd be a bad plan to be MORE inspired.  I have to be able to tend to what I've already got, and I'm thinking the ones just done PLUS the ones in pots that are returnees.....are sufficient.  Couple that with the small flower beds (of which there are a few!) and me on my handy dandy lawn buddy.....I'm thinking we have enough colour and enough puttering around WORK as is.
Oh, but I have POTS left. *laughing*  I always have pots left....and then I fill 'em, and then I have to buy another pot or two cuz I have a leftover flower or two.  It's a well used strategy--darn good thing we have space in the garage to put them come fall.
But my body and my brain tell me to be done 'cept for those 'few' other things.
I must be serious about that.  I hauled pots BACK into the garage.......empty......

I'm 'disabled'.  LOL  And while I putter around--lemme remind myself what it took to get a mere 12 pots planted yesterday.
Up down, up down, drag, drag some more....push, push some more, up down, up down, scootch and pull.......scootch and pull some more, up down up down up down, lift shove, shove some more--up down up down up down.
THEN you get to play in dirt!
Oy.....
.
40 pound bags of potting soil do NOT move easily. Neither do the flats with flowers......or the garden hose. OH my gosh--the evil garden hose!!!

Yup--I'm GOOD with the stuff that's out!  That's IT.  NO MORE. (riigggghhhhhttttt.......)  *laughing*
I know me!!!

OH!!  But my lawn buddy carries the potted flowers to their destinations--slicker than snot on a glass door knob!  :-)

Fairy Reminder

Friendship with oneself is very important because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.

--Eleanor Roosevelt

What do we need from a friend? Let's think about that for a moment and see if it applies to how we treat ourselves.

Let's start with the basics: A friend is for us, not against us. That means a friend won't do anything to harm us if he or she can possibly help it. A friend is there for us when we need understanding, tells us the truth, and does the things he or she promises to do. A friend likes to be around us, thinks we are a good person, and believes we are honest. A friend shares what is going on in his or her life and cares about what is going on in ours. A friend does things to help us feel happy. A friend forgives us when we ask for forgiveness.

We do these things for our friends.  But do we do them for ourselves? It's a question worth thinking about: Am I a good friend to myself?

Outta the mouth of babes.....

The Bug:  I wish I could live up high like Nana and Grandad.

The Mom:  What?

The Bug:  You know.  On their planet.



*laughing*

Well, I DO live in a world all of my own!

Oh Deere........

Daily Reading

We have choices, more choices than we let ourselves see.

We may feel trapped in our relationships, our jobs, our life. We may feel locked into behaviors such as caretaking or controlling.

Feeling trapped is a symptom of a problem. When we hear ourselves say, I have to take care of this person . . . I have to say yes . . . I have to try to control that person . . . I have to behave this way, think this way, feel this way . . . we can know we are choosing not to see choices.

That sense of being trapped is an illusion. We are not controlled by circumstances, our past, the expectations of others, or our unhealthy expectations for ourselves. We can choose what feels right for us, without guilt. We have options.

Living life is not about behaving perfectly or according to anyone else's rules. More than anything else, living life is about knowing we have choices and giving ourselves the freedom to

choose.

Sunup Road

*repeat as often as necessary*

I love my secretary.
I love my secretary.
I love my secretary.
I LOVE my secretary.

(this will keep me from strangling her.....didn't strangle her yesterday--so I KNOW the mantra works!)

Yup.  Quite the keeper that one.  So much so that folks in the agency wanna steal her on a regular basis.  I loan her out for periods of time--but she's very happy in her little office in the wee town here.  Plus, she has a very flexible boss (that'd be me!) who lets her slip out to watch kiddos sing and dance....who lets her work from home if the snow is over the road, who lets her exit in a heartbeat if there's a need to check on an aging mom who's suffering with dementia--who checks in with her every week to find out what's going on in her life.
I adore the gal, frankly.  Frankly......so does everyone else.
They think we oughta clone her.
I happen to agree!

But her printer ran out of paper Wednesday morning.  I know, cuz I emailed her from home to tell her the printer was outta paper.
She DID fill it!  She's good like that.
She also purged everything that was 'queued' in it.  Apparently she was under some faulty thinking--that it was only the stuff she'd printed out that was queued.  Ummmm........NOT so much!

I love my secretary.
I love my secretary.
I love my secretary that delete the release for work and didn't send it on cuz there was nothing TO send on cuz she thought I'd not printed it cuz I emailed her that the printer was outta paper!!!

No worries.
I printed it yesterday!........after she came to the office and couldn't stop the rapid, repeated apologies...

I LOVE my secretary.
*repeat!*

Reading for Today

People who make the biggest mistakes are often the holiest.

--Mary Kassan

We've heard it said that it takes a brave person to make a mistake and keep trying. We used to get down on ourselves too much for messing up. We are learning to accept our humanness. It's not such a big deal to be imperfect.

We learn the value of mistakes when we really start to listen to other people. When we sit around and share with others, we find ourselves admiring those people who can admit when they have problems and make mistakes. They really do seem brave to us. They don't seem weak at all. If we keep listening to people being very human, we gradually start to see the light.

Spring Ladened

Ah!

Oh, the clouds at sunset have blossomed into a light show like you would NOT believe the past two evenings.  Amazing.....JUST amazing.
And I get excited a tad too late to get myself to where I need to be to watch the show without an obstruction.  Not to mention the brain keeps telling me 'don't HAVE it in me to go.....'. And then I end up grumbling cuz I didn't?  Silly brain....
Ah well, perhaps this evening.

I forget how that bit of 'push' gets me places--and once I'm there, I forget why I wasn't going to bother.  More proof that listening to me is a bad plan.

We've got amazing clouds this morning--sunrise was a gorgeous purple.  And I've started early enough (can't QUITE figure out the change in time to get me to where I need to be....early....) that I might just take a trip down a backroad on the way to the office!
Ummmm......I will if I get off this contraption!

*poof!*

Fairy Dust

People are like stained glass windows: They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within.

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Rawr and Grrrr....

Oh yes...sometimes it just escapes my brain....

I AM NOT RUNNING THE SHOW!!

*sigh*

I had MY agenda for the day...and managed to pull off some of it.  I did get to the training, much to the surpise of my boss....this despite the emails last week about going.
The boss....has HIS agenda.
And I wasn't consulted.

But I have a scheduled meeting that involves him tomorrow....but that agenda for that meeting...yeah...notsomuch THE topic of my choosing, if I could choose....which I don't get to....

I AM NOT RUNNING THE SHOW.

Pfffft to that!!

The Smelly Ones

Thoughts from the Fairies

I've started to realize that waiting is an art, that waiting achieves things. Waiting can be very, very powerful. Time is a valuable thing. If you can wait two years, you can sometimes achieve something that you could not achieve today, however hard you worked, however much money you threw up in the air, however many times you banged your head against the wall. . .

--The Courage to Change by Dennis Wholey

The people who are most successful at living and loving are those who can learn to wait successfully. Not many people enjoy waiting or learning patience. Yet, waiting can be a powerful tool that will help us accomplish much good.

We cannot always have what we want when we want it. For different reasons, what we want to do, have, be, or accomplish is not available to us now. But there are things we could not do or have today, no matter what, that we can have in the future. Today, we would make ourselves crazy trying to accomplish what will come naturally and with ease later.

We can trust that all is on schedule. Waiting time is not wasted time. Something is being worked out - in us, in someone else, in the Universe.

We don't have to put our life on hold while we wait. We can direct our attention elsewhere; we can practice acceptance and gratitude in the interim; we can trust that we do have a life to live while we are waiting - then we go about living it.

Deal with your frustration and impatience, but learn how to wait. The old saying, "You can't always get what you want" isn't entirely true. Often, in life, we can get what we want - especially the desires of our heart - if we can learn to wait.

Tra la la...

He said YES to 8 hr days.
Yes!
YES!!!

He just wanted to know how the shingles outbeak was doing.  Yes, still blistered, but that takes time...and it's rare that there's pain involved.
And he wanted to make certain that I knew it would be 8 hrs, sedentary...no up and down and back and forth all day long.  He did say it was okay to attend a training or meeting on occasion.  I travel to those and he'd restricted travel time....'cept when it came to HIS appointments.  Still 30-40 minutes, he says....ah well, I'll drive faster!!  (Kidding!!  I think...)

Now it's about getting his release to the right folks and getting with the boss to set a start date!
Did I mention I have a training tomorrow?  LOL. A mere 45 minutes away.  Close enough.  K.... I reallllly wanna go to this one!!  REALLY wanna go....REALLLYYY!
Right.
I'll flip a coin in the morning.
The BOSS said I could go!

K.
K!!
*grumbling*

Hiding Springtime

O! E 8 Z B

TFTD

"Why?" is the most useless question in the universe.

The only question with any meaning is "What?"

Asking "Why is this happening?" can only disempower

you. Asking "What do I want to make of this?"

does exactly the opposite.

Here is a great secret: the Why of anything

is to produce the What of everything.

Whoa....

I THINK it's safe to say he's having a good time....by the locks...on the river...at his ensuite little bed and breakfast joint.  :-)
This is a very good thing.

Just a glimmer...

....back of the bus, please....

The lawn buddy is AMAZING.
The neighbor's wife is just sooooo loving.
And I'm gonna have a conversation with the doc today.  Somewhere along the line he rang on Friday and left a message--that I didn't get until I plugged the cellphone in to charge it.

Whaddaya think.....a bit of interruption on my behalf so I could give thought to what I WANT and what I NEED?
*sigh*
I tend to think I know what's good for me......when I do not.

I'll ring the doc and sit in the back of the bus--and LISTEN to what he has to say.
That's probably a better position for me--given that I WAS going to convince him to let me drive.
NOT that I don't wanna drive.
I do.

But I am walking--nightly.
Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.....
I must be doing something right cuz my left foot gets worn out--and my ankle is mad at me, which makes walking back and forth a bit.....interesting.
But I'm out doing the deal cuz I'm structured it in to make it happen.

And I got flowers planted AND put out where I wanted 'em, thanks to my handy dandy lawn buddy!  :-)
I'm gonna become a sales person for those things, I swear!  LOL

And this morning.....more frost.  *laughing*
DARN lawn buddy MADE me put the flowers out!

:-/

Reading for the Day

Winning an argument is never the goal of a true

spiritual master. Winning someone's heart is.

The setting aside of one's integrity is not required to win

someone's heart, but the setting aside of one's anger

may be. It is possible to make a point without making

an enemy. It is possible to be right without being

righteous. Debating does not have to be debasing.

If there is someone with whom you are disagreeing this

day, would it not be wonderful of you to disagree

without being disagreeable?

Bitty Thought

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world. 

Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.

Margaret Mead

*whew!*

Good news!!!
It's the weekend....and it FEELS like a weekend.
I haven't increased my hours at work....much....  Yesterday I shook the cell phone, stared at the work phone...and checked three times with the secretary thinking MAYBE the nurse just faxed the release and didn't think a call was necessary.  * sigh*  Trying to be hopeful here despite the nurse stating that she "wasn't sure how he would feel about that".  Maybe he just had a really, really busy Friday....or he didn't and he snuck out early to golf?  k....probably not in the rain, huh...  Yesyes...patience!  There was a note on the charting so I know it's still there to be answered...I know cuz I rang to see if there was an answer first thing that morning....so much for my practice of patience?  Yes well, NOT ringing again that afternoon counts!!

But it IS the weekend.  And it FEELS like a weekend...probably cuz it's me doing everything for myself...
....like fixing that delicious (notsomuch) gluten free pizza that I have leftovers of.  :-/
And making my own coffee for the morning.
Picking up shoes (I TELL'em to get back in the closet...but do they listen!?!).
Putting laundry in the laundry BASKET.  (Same deal as the shoe...darn non-compliant things!)
Getting my own dishes to the sink.  (OBVIOUSLY losing the knack...)
Picking up the MAIL from the mailbox.  (Sheeeshhh!)
Actually closing windows cuz it's raining....
OMG....and …yes…FILLING THE ICE CUBE TRAYS!!

*gasp*

I KNOW!!!!

LOL

Is it ANY wonder I'm relieved that the weekend is here!!!

*snickering!*

Today's Reading

Someone is looking up to you now, preparing to

follow your example. Let this guide your next choice.

We often think that we are operating in a vacuum,

that no one is watching us, that our actions are mostly

private. Yet, what if you knew that your every thought,

word, and deed today was going to be imitated by

one who admires you?

Can you feel good about what you are demonstrating?

Purity

Dunno...

I think too much when there's no noise or people around me.  That's an age old pattern of mine...no news there.
But the brain's going, so I need to put some structure to this or it'll keep swirling til I do.  Yet another age old pattern.

So in this world...in this medium....people disappear.
Oh, sometimes they announce it...sometimes notsomuch.  You can deal with the known, a shift in how you connect...a "wait",  a "hiatus"... You get that, you appreciate that--there are other options, and you KNOW.
But that sudden STOP....   Bit of a struggle...bit of a quandary.
You show up like you're inclined to do....and ....nothing new greets you.  So, you leave a note.  Or two.  Or a dozen as you keep going back, hoping....  Sometimes you go back and you get this sad "page" that tells you the place you frequented....doesn't exist.  Or...that it does exist but you don't get to visit.  OR that it "sorta" exists cuz it's not there, BUT no one can use the address cuz THAT exits...even if the place doesn't exist anymore?

I'm not so good with any of those things happening.  I don't particularly like change to begin with....make it a change with no explanation...I really get twitchy.  I like to know what drives the silence is necessary for a persons' physical, emotional or spiritual wellbeing.  I can chalk it up to that and try to trust the bigger plan--all things happen for the good, even if I don't get to witness it, I know.  I still wonder.  And there's still this bit in me that pauses and FEELS the absence...the hole, no matter how miniscule I try to make it.  It's the human condition with loss, I'd guess.  Or maybe that's a piece that's innately just...me.

I'm graced, really.  I've connected with very GOOD people...persons of integrity...folks who are about giving and kindness, who are shining with light and life and love.  They all touch my life ... they touch places in me that others haven't truly reached...or I've not allowed them to reach?

I married the man that touched me so deeply and completely through this medium...who brought all that he was and IS into shared time and space.   I know, really KNOW, shared space or not...wow....AWESOME human beings that touches my LIFE.  Me....little ol' me?

Perhaps that's the driving piece in me, that huge bit in me that screams and cries and whimpers like an abandoned child whose mother unexpectedly dies.

Where'd you go?
Are you coming back?

Again with the Waiting Fairies....

The people who are most successful at living and loving are those who can learn to wait successfully. Not many people enjoy waiting or learning patience. Yet, waiting can be a powerful tool that will help us accomplish much good.

We cannot always have what we want when we want it. For different reasons, what we want to do, have, be, or accomplish is not available to us now. But there are things we could not do or have today, no matter what, that we can have in the future. Today, we would make ourselves crazy trying to accomplish what will come naturally and with ease later.

We can trust that all is on schedule. Waiting time is not wasted time. Something is being worked out - in us, in someone else, in the Universe.

We don't have to put our life on hold while we wait. We can direct our attention elsewhere; we can practice acceptance and gratitude in the interim; we can trust that we do have a life to live while we are waiting - then we go about living it.

Deal with your frustration and impatience, but learn how to wait. The old saying, "You can't always get what you want" isn't entirely true. Often, in life, we can get what we want - especially the desires of our heart - if we can learn to wait.

Excuse me..but I see Indian corn...

Yup...at the bed and breakfast....which, he happily informed the gal, is NOT a product of India.  LOL

All I can say is I WILL seize the opportunity!!!

Soooo...apparently it's okay to have Indian corn out in MAY.
AND ... I squinted...  Thinkin' I see a pumpkin there, too......

:-D

PERFECT!!!!
*insert hysterical laughter!!!!*

On the road rising

Victories!!!

Lalalala....it's raining, it's pouring the old man is snoring....

Yeah, but it's all good!  May flowers and all that!

So.....today I can get hold of the doc and ask about returning to work full time.  (that's the mission--since the boss said that was up to the doc, I'm ALL about making the phone call!)
And yesterday he removed his 'banished to your kingdom' decree!  Yup--told me that in front of the whole team.....seems he'd gotten a few emails asking when I'd be 'allowed' on the unit and not just stuck in the office.  He told 'em he put that decision in their hands--which brought a round of applaud.  And he made it abundantly clear that he expected if ONE person had a concern...I'd respect that and exit/not go to the unit.  And gave the whole TEAM permission to ring his cellphone IF they were having an issue with getting me to actually vacate the unit.  *laughing*  They're lovin' that one, let me tell ya.

So it's progress!  I'll take every victory I get, no matter how small!
Yesterday I went to the grocery store (not cuz I needed anything mind you....) just to see if I COULD.  And woooohoooooo I can!
I managed my walk inbetween being introduced to a new rescue puppy on the block AND a visit with the neighbor..and a visit TO the other neighbours patio!  Oh....and I have fresh aspargus!!  :-)
Victories abound!!

Now--just gotta figure out how to get the trashcan from point A to point B!  It's on wheels..so I'm thinking easy peasy!  :-D  ONE good shove--and we're half way there.  LOLOL

TFTD

Whenever I am feeling down and wonder what I need to do, Love is the answer.

Whenever I think I should have known better, the response is I will Love better.

Whenever I wonder how to heal the hurt and shame, Love will heal it for me.

Whenever I question others motives or doubt their sincerity, I know that I just need to Love them more.

Whenever I am confused about what I should do or how I should respond, I know that God would respond with Love, therefore so will I.

The answer to any question or situation is always Love because I know Love will always produce the best outcome for all involve.

Ah........patio time!!!

YES!!!!

Sunshine and blue skies--again!
I love springtime in the midwest WHEN IT FINALLY SHOWS UP.
The sun gets really HOT and the earth warms up and the worms start dancin'!  (mostly cuz the robin's are chasing 'em, I suspect..LOL)

It's coffee for me and a bit of patio time before I go into the office......I asked the boss about going back to work full time.  I'm thinkin' I can get that from the doctor, given I'm not showing up for physical therapy and he told me to do the things that bring me joy.  (besides, I'm a good little manipulator!  LOL) He-who-DID-land-over-there knows I had the conversation and knew that was what I was doing...staying longer to see if I COULD physically tolerate it.  He didn't object--he knows me well and knows my passion is, in part, in the work I do with others there.
I do think I can put in the 8 hour days.
I just don't know if the boss wants me back full time under these.......circumstances.  Fair enough if his answer is 'no'.  I'll just keep doing what I'm doing and hope for the next opportunity?

But this morning.....sunshine and coffee on the patio!
Now.  HOW I'm gonna get that cup out there....is yet to be determined...but I WILL get 'er done!

Happy Yellow's Question from the Back

Bitty Reminder

If we take the time, no matter how crazy 

and troubled we feel, 

we can find something to be thankful for.