Fairy Reading for Today

I have become quite good at blocking out what I don't want to hear or notice.

Right in the middle of hearing someone scream, or during a crisis, I can zone out and not hear or see a thing.

I have become such an expert at this that, even when not in crisis, I don't hear what other people are saying, including my children.

I can be looking straight ahead at the television and not know what I'm watching.

This is a survival skill that I acquired in order to protect myself from frightening or potentially dangerous situations.

It served me well in the past, but it no longer serves me.

It is difficult to change this pattern, but now that I'm aware of my "zoning out" behavior, I can learn to consciously come back to the real world.

Today I will practice paying attention and tuning in to the sounds and events around me.

Ummm.....Yellow Top Whatzit

This moment brought to you by the Elephant....

People scramble a whole lot when they feel threatened with 'truth' being put out there.  I think the word is 'exposed'....that's the word I used once upon a time.

It's the ones with something to hide, the ones who've told stories from one side to assume a victim position that do the most scrambling.  Ya know, the ones who really don't want someone with information that they've not divulged in the room cuz 'it's awkward'.
The better word would be 'threatening'.

Well, it's threatening only when that other perspective, that other basket of 'facts', shows up.  Yikes is there a scramble.......
Sometimes it's a 'quick--get to 'em and play NICE' scramble.
Sometimes it's a 'ohhhhhh crappppp' and avoid 'em like crazy scramble.
Sometimes it's a 'pretend they're not really there' scramble...
I know the tactics well.  I oughta--I've used 'em all.

Really--I grew up in a household of 'don't talk' and 'make it look different than it is'.  You do that well when you grow up in an abusive, alcoholic household that doesn't want found out--that YOU don't want found out either.  I have a whole lot of training in how to make things look different than they really are.
I also have a commitment and a responsibility to 'truth'---I'm a truth sayer.  Nothing changes until one owns what's true.
And most times, what's true isn't 'fun' or 'pretty' or 'socially acceptable'..and it's far from comfortable.
It isn't, however, an indictment on the other person's worth and value--or an absence of love and affection from the truth-sayer.

I don't MEAN to be threatening, though I do know it is threatening.  I'm well familiar with being in closed quarters with someone who's apt to 'bust me out'.
Nowadays I get humble, I get honest, and I move forward.

Ironically, I make it my mission to SURROUND myself with people who'll make that happen in my life BECAUSE of where I came from, and BECAUSE of my propensity to make it look different than what it is.

Being that for others is what I do well.....it's a part of what I was designed to be.
It's also threatening to folks.
And it sometimes makes me the elephant in the room.


There are those who'll run towards the truth-sayers, and those who will run from the truth-sayers.
I'll just do what works for me and find an okay-ness with elephants......

Grandad's Cookie

Today's Thought

Blame and Criticism

Am I bored?

Highly critical?

Fearful or anxious?

If the answer to any of these questions is "yes," I may be suffering the effects of procrastination.

If I am plagued by boredom, I may not be seeking or initiating constructive changes in my life.

By refusing to ask questions or seek answers to questions I already have, for instance, I perpetuate my sense of failure and emptiness.

If I am highly critical of others, it is very likely I am a "non-doer."

People who are busy doing their heart's desires have little time to complain about the actions or attitudes of others.

If I am anxious or fearful about the future, I may be postponing until tomorrow what I could be doing today.

Merely hoping or wishing my life will get better, while avoiding or worrying about an unpleasant task or problem, is self-defeating at best.

If I want to live today fully, I must do something constructive with it.

TODAY I will tackle at least two things I dread doing.

I will not waste my time and energy by wallowing in boredom, worry, criticism, or fear.

I will do what needs to be done even if it requires effort, risk and change.

Intense Art

Overnight guest

<-- duck whistle thief

<-- bed hog

<-- messy Marvin

<-- pushes multiple buttons to make toys GO and runs to leap on couches

k

The last one mighta been about me.........

The Scent of Memories

TFTD

I always entertain great hopes. --Robert Frost

In our honest journey, we must admit life is often difficult and painful.

But these facts do not describe all of life, and they do not determine how we respond.

The sun rises warm and bright after a cold and dark night.

The open, generous smile of a small child reaches into the soft part of us all.

To be strong and hardy on this spiritual path, we must be truthful about the pain and unfairness in life while holding firmly to a belief in all the generous possibilities.

Surrendering to despair, we trade the uncertainty of options for the certainty of gloom.

Then we might say, "At least I'm never disappointed this way."

Life isn't filled only with difficulty and pain.

It is also filled with people whose dignity and spirit rise above their circumstances.

There are situations when great sacrifice or love and wisdom turn a problem into an opportunity and strength.

If we look at what has happened in our own lives and in those of others, we have ample reason to hope.

Today's Reminder from the Reading Fairy

The people who are most successful at living and loving are those who can learn to wait successfully.

Not many people enjoy waiting or learning patience.

Yet, waiting can be a powerful tool that will help us accomplish much good.

We cannot always have what we want when we want it.

For different reasons, what we want to do, have, be, or accomplish is not available to us now.

But there are things we could not do or have today, no matter what, that we can have in the future.

Today, we would make ourselves crazy trying to accomplish what will come naturally and with ease later.

We can trust that all is on schedule.

Waiting time is not wasted time.

Something is being worked out - in us, in someone else, in the Universe.

We don't have to put our life on hold while we wait.

We can direct our attention elsewhere; we can practice acceptance and gratitude in the interim; we can trust that we do have a life to live while we are waiting - then we go about living it.

Deal with your frustration and impatience, but learn how to wait.

The old saying, "You can't always get what you want" isn't entirely true.

Often, in life, we can get what we want - especially the desires of our heart - if we can learn to wait.

Today, I am willing to learn the art of patience.

If I am feeling powerless because I am waiting for something to happen and I am not in control of timing, I will focus on the power available to me by learning to wait.

Perspective

So, once a week the fellas in the HAZMAT outfits are going to wheel in the carboplatin cocktail....and daily there's 15 minutes of 'whirrrr' and 'click'.  All this for six weeks.

She told me she's starting radiation May 2nd and chemo on May 5th.  That was my summary, of the information she doled out.  LOL  Not exactly the most professional, but there you have it.

Scary stuff for her.
Enough so that she was a bit skittish.

Right.....so....bit of perspective!  Once a week the fellas with the HAZMAT outfits are gonna give you an IV drip for an hour...and daily you'll have 15 minutes of 'whirrr' and 'click'.......as opposed to face ripped open, jaw broke and tongue cut out....muscle and tissue ripped out of your arm, nodes torn out of your neck, skin shaved off your leg, hole cut in your neck and a tube shoved into your stomach.....  Whaddaya think......did I miss anything there?

"You make that sound a whole lot easier that what I just went through?"

Ummmmm.....yeah.  Cuz perspective tells me it is--scary and sucky as this part of the deal is...And it DOES suck and it IS scary.  But you can do this standing on your HEAD compared to what you just did.  I'm so proud of you for what you've walked through to this point--you're amazing, yaknow that, right?

She cried.  She told me she needed to hear that.....all of that--especially today.

And I meant it.....every single last piece of it.
She is AMAZING.  And I'm so very proud of how she's persevering and progressing, every day--a day at a time.

No.  I'm not thrilled about the chemo and the radiation.  But I realize it's their best shot in arresting the cancer and I know the A Team is working to get that for her.  It's amazing that she's working hard to get that for herself.

Perspective-- I lost that so many times and was helped to find it over and over and over again.  I know how disheartening it can get, how overwhelming, how dismal it can feel.
But it's good that they're going in to take their best shot out of the gate--unlike some I know who opted for the lesser of the evils and complicate the process of kicking the cancer out of it's new found home.  That's a part of the journey I made that I've been upfront with her about since ....forever.  In part I ended up where I ended up because I was always opting for the 'lesser evil' offered.
I remember WPIML telling me very clearly the lesser of two evils is STILL EVIL.
She remembers him telling me that too.  And I think it's served her to have heard it.

Perspective........  It ain't gonna be easy.  It ain't gonna be fun.
But she can DO this.
I really do believe that.

She's had a hellacious week, including the Monday morning falling apart moment when she didn't want to tell me she'd found a bump on the right side of her 'what's left' tongue.  "Don't panic" she said....but she did and she fell apart (they both did) before they called the doctor and then told me.
I didn't panic.  The PET didn't show cancer on the right side--scar tissue, I suggested to her....but I assured them they did the right thing by getting hold of the doc to report it.  That's exactly what they're suppose to do and I was glad they did!
And 24 hours later--"scar tissue" says the doc who also said "I'm glad you called so we could check it out--that's what you needed to do".  Bless his little heart.

Yeah......that scare.......and lining up chemo and radiation......'Hellacious week' works.

But it's forward movement........ and she's got perspective.

Pure Luck

Fairy Thought

In real love you want the other person's good. In romantic love, you want the other person. --Margaret Anderson

The expression of real love is so easy between grandparents and children - and between good friends it passes effortlessly.

But why is it so hard to share real love with a spouse or lover?

Why, instead, do we want to possess them?

And from them we dream of selfless devotion.

Yet neither possession nor devotion guarantees the security we long for.

Real love is not selfish; it frees both the giver and the receiver.

Knowing we're loved sustains our hearts and diminishes our difficulties.

It doesn't bind us, yet paradoxically it bonds our hearts.

These encouragements to grow, to change, to dare to depart if it's for our own good, are expressions of real love.

Real love is never ownership, only stewardship of this moment's experiences.

Let's be gentle with one another, and love fully with trust, as a child loves a grandmother.

Child's Reward/Mom's Torture

Remember those jelly beans you gave the Bug in her Easter Bucket?

Ummmmm........yeah....

She gets four of those if she goes, eight if she goes without telling us.

Oh......great.....well, grandad will have nooooooo problem having jelly beans on hand.

So.....what's with the blue tongue?  Blue jelly beans?

No.  She went all day without an accident.  She got a whole package of Pez and she's hyped up on sugar--ohmygosh mom she won't stop making noises.

Right.  I'll have grandad make a note--jelly beans.....NO PEZ.

Chickens!

Uh uh......smart like that.....

Under NO circumstances will the child get Pez in this house.....jelly beans and a Snoopy sticker!  I've decided.  :-/

Heartstrings

Today's Fairy Thought

Hope and patience are two sovereign remedies for all, the surest reposal, the softest cushions to lean on in adversity. --Robert Burton

It is just as easy to think, "I can" as it is to think, "I can't."

Both attitudes are habitual orientations to life that can become automatic with practice.

Neither attitude has as much to do with the task at hand as it does with the inner spirit of the person facing the task.

In either case, the task is the same - only the attitude is different.

But what a difference!

The "I can" people are the ones we want to spend time with and to use as models.

These are the people who either have never lost, or have worked to regain the positive outlook we are all born with.

It never occurs to a baby, for example, that all that staggering and falling means he or she will never learn to walk.

Babies grow, move forward, and succeed.

They haven't learned to hang back or fear defeat.

Knee-jerk negativity is something we can all do without.

Let's backtrack to that time in our lives when all things were possible ... because they still are.

HOLY pine cones.....

The sister made two trips for two different appointments at UCLA today--she was a bit tired and crabby.

(trust me...I heard allllllllllllllllllll about it...LOL)

BUT--her reward for being a big girl about getting that mouth guard made for upcoming radiation.....was threatening to get beamed by giant pine cones.  ROFL

OH my gosh....

How cool.

And I made her hug the hubby for going to the gardens after all that junk.

:-)

Yup....small wonder he's still my hero.

Everyone Paddle!!

Today's Thought

Our minds are never at rest.

It's rather nice to know that someplace within we remember everything that caught our attention; even when we weren't conscious of it.

Learning to tap into this well of information comes with lots of practice and the willingness to get quiet, really quiet.

It's our attitudes that make play of work.

Keeping our thoughts and composure joyful prevents even the dullest task from boring us.

Being open to the possibility that fun is an outlook we can foster changes us quite profoundly.

It also keeps the channel to our interior imagination uncluttered with the negative.

We will always know how to proceed in every instance if we let our inner knowing guide us.

The subconscious imagination is never asleep.

My inner self stands at attention always.

I will let it answer my questions and make my decisions.

The Red Cross

Every year--  *laughing*

Like clock work.
And every year I set out the bandaids cuz I'm just SURE folks will think we're a temporary Red Cross Station.

I'm thinkin' this year I'll put out the Snoopy bandaids cuz they're my favoritest.  Last year it was leopard and tigery lookin' ones.....

:-)

Okay, okay.......  I'll tape a little sticky note on the box WITH a bandaid.

Happy St. George's Day from she-who-must-be-obeyed.

k.....  Boring.
I'll work on the note content and have another cuppa coffee.....

TFTD

Muddy water, let stand, becomes clear. --Lao-tzu

A group of friends went swimming one day and one of them lost a ring in the bottom of the lake.

Everyone started diving from different directions to find it until there was so much mud and sand stirred up that no one could see anything.

Finally, they decided to clear the water.

They waited silently on the edge of the shore for the mud from all their activity to settle.

When it finally cleared, one person dove in slowly and picked up the ring.

When we are confused about something in our lives, we will often hear answers and advice from all directions.

Our friends will tell us one thing and our families another, until we feel pretty well mixed up.

If we look away from our problem and let patience and time do their work, the mud inside us will settle and clear.

Our answer will become visible, like the glimmer of silver in the water.

Am I overlooking the simple solution??

....just that red one.....

It would seem that grandad forgot to hand the Bug her Easter bucket when she visited him at the house while Nana was in California.....ummm....it might be cuz Nana forgot to tell him to pull it from the closet and hand it over to her.
That's okay--she got it today when I visited--and had GREAT fun with the punchball chicken.  LOL

And she enjoyed her pretty necklace--which she thought was candy.....which it is not.  So she dove into the jelly beans instead.....until mom told her no more.
And that's when she pulled out the red one and gave 'that look'......ya know....THAT look.

And if that wasn't enough, Nana tossed in (just for good measure....) 'ohhhhh.....look at that little face...c'mon mom...just that red one and THEN she'll be done....'

Yeah, well...I never claimed to be helpful with the Bug.  LOL

And we coloured!

Seriously.....she has a box of NINETY SIX Crayola's and she's not even three.
NINETY SIX.

k....
I am not envious.
I am NOT envious......

AND she has a Strawberry Shortcake colourbook.

<-- is wayyyyyyyyy envious.......

The purple one

Daily Reading

Have you ever been in love, had your heart beat fast when you anticipated the call of your lover, felt the way the sun felt warmer on your face, the sky appeared bluer, the clouds more fluffy, and the sunset more grand?

What if you could fall in love with your life and feel that way each day?

I'm not saying romantic relationships are bad.

They're not.

They're part of being human and getting our needs met.

But what if we could take all that passion and focus it into falling in love with life?

Maybe that is what is meant by universal love.

Maybe that's the part we give back.

Fall in love with your life today.

God, help me feel passionate about my life and all the possibilities that stretch out before me.

OH boy.......

I'm trying to adjust to this new.......whatever it's called that Blogger has gifted me with.
So far I've played with photos, discovered new colours for text and TRIED to figure out what some of the icon thingies do.
Yeah......well, notsomuch on that one, but I'm workin' on it!  Which means odd things could happen here--which is sortakinda like normal, I guess.

I think it's okay.
I'm figuring out how to run the thing and where 'stuff' has been moved off to.
Only I don't remember so good.
And I resist change.
And I'm trying to be a big girl about it all......

WHERE'D MY LIST OF POSTS GO!!!!  (look.......whooaaa...coloured bits!!)

Oh wait....I think it's listed under.....wait....I can do it.....
k.....

I will adjust.
I WILL adjust.

I W I L L adjust.

......eventually......  I hope.....

Oh look.....AND I remember how to make bigger font!
See.
I'm adjusting!

:-/

Made me weepy........

Daily Reminder

The cause is hidden, but the result is known. --Ovid

We know it's coming before we do it.

Our boy[girl]friend dumps us and we devour the ice cream.

We don't get the promotion so we head for the bar.

We have a fight with our spouse and treat ourselves to a new leather jacket - at his or her expense.

We decide that because we're feeling bad anyway, we might as well take full advantage of it.

We figure the worse we feel, the more entitled we are to the indulgence.

This type of behavior starts a cycle.

The worse we feel, the more we want to self-destruct.

Let's face it - our actions are usually premeditated.

We think about the ice cream, the drink, or the leather jacket until we can get to it.

During the planning stage, we can shift gears.

We think it through.

We know we have a choice.

We decide to do something healthy instead of destructive.

Today I will make only healthy choices for myself.

Muddy Shoes and Prayerful Flowers

Three 'stupid meetings' back to back....is one too many.

On top of that we had rain.

On top of that, I had a bazillion things to catch up on.

So I skipped out of the last stupid meeting, considered going back to the worksite and then bought time. I needed a bit of time......

I took a walk...... in the mud.

It was worth it.

Nevermind I have a pair of flats that are probably ruined--at best they're broke in well.

And nevermind that I returned with a muddy skirt......worth it.......

I had silence apart from the sound of rain on unfurling leaves--that sound in and of itself.......worth it.

And I had prayerful flowers, heads bent......talking to angels and thanking them for what they were graced with today.

It felt much the same for me.

Prayerful flowers gifted me that.......I needed that.

Today, I'm graced--and that's where I'm at.

I didn't start there........trust me.

But that's where I am, today.

Muddy shoes, muddy skirt....and joyously peaceful.

Centered.

Right where I'm suppose to be........

April Showers

Fairy Thought

Each day we hope for accomplishment and satisfaction and we'll achieve these when we scale our hopes to our real capacities.

There's no more satisfying feeling than finishing a project we've set up ourselves, tailored to our abilities, and worked at with patience and care.

Our lives can be filled with such successes.

Learning to live means learning to keep ourselves in the present.

This day is all we really have to work with.

0f course today will be influenced by what has already happened; and its influence will extend to tomorrow, next week, and beyond.

But all we can make or do lies here, within this window of space and time.

Filtered

50/50

So, last night I sat down with the intention of making A card for the sister.
WHY, I do not know.

I have cards that I've bought, cards that I've made......all sitting around in various piles here and there.

That's JUST in case I get the whim to wanna send one on to someone.....'specially the sister who told me getting a nonsense letter/card in the mail made her day.

And I thought they were sillier than silly--absolutely NO meaningful content whatsoever.

I've gone back to sending her letters/cards almost daily since I landed back here--maybe that's why I was in the card making mode?

Or MAYBE it was that 'pretend fried rice' he-who-didn't-think-to-make-the-rice-yesterday used last night.......yaknow, the fella who told me WHILE I was clearing up AFTER dinner "It's probably those bits of papertowel I used to dry the rice with that made it stick so badly to the pan". THAT explains why my usually-white-fluffy-rice appeared glumpy and weird? k.......

I won't blame the dinner.
I was just in 'make a card for the sister' mode.

I was gonna make one.
Two hours later I had two.

Now, that would equate to an average of one hour per card.
NOTsomuch!
WHY it took me an hour and 45 minutes for one card, I'll never know. By then it was so late I couldn't reconcile myself to having spent near two hours on one card--seemed a bit silly. So, I put the failed bits for the first card on the second card (which took all about 10 minutes--cuz it took 5 minutes to clear up my mess) so I could justify 2 hours by having more than one card.

WHY that was important.....I have no clue.
And does either card LOOK like an hour of work?
NO.
Can I tell which I spent an hour and 45 minutes on and which was a whooping ten minutes?
HELL NO.

There's 2 cards--it's a 50/50 shot in being able to identify the time consuming one from the tossed-it-together-with-the-leftovers one.

Does it matter?!

Probably not to anyone but me.

And next week, I won't remember which is which anyway.
They'll happily be in California.

That's IF the 'fried rice and papertowel' maker remembers to pick up stamps today.....

Fairy Reminder

Did you ever try to get a key to unlock a door, and you tried and tried, and the key just wouldn't open it? The harder you tried, the more frustrated you became. So you stopped trying for a while, relaxed, and tried again. Voila. The key fit perfectly and the slightest turn unlocked the door.

There's a gentler way of being in the world, of trying things, doing things, going about our business.

Whether I'm tackling a specific project, enjoying a new relationship, or grinding through some miserable situation, my first inclination is to force myself and try too hard. If one cup of tea tastes good, I'll drink five. If I want to express love or concern for someone, I'll overdo it.

"If it's worth doing, it's worth doing well," doesn't mean if it's worth doing, try harder and harder. Doing it well means relaxing and letting the actions unfold gently, naturally, without force. Pull back a little. Relax.

Hope

Fairy Thought

Hope is the thing with feathers

that perches in the soul

And sings the tune without the words

And never stops at all.

--Emily Dickinson

We often hum and sing to ourselves because it makes us feel content. It is the melody itself that makes us feel good - words and thoughts do not matter.

Having hope for ourselves and for our universe is like having a melody always moving inside us.

The melody may be calm or exciting, but most of all it brings with it beauty and a sense of peace.

Hope can overcome the need for words and thoughts and promises.

Hope is the melody that keeps us going, the hum that continues even when there are no words to the song.

Hope is not a melody we think about - it must come when we believe in the goodness of our world.

Home Tweet Home

What I seem to have is a failure to communicate effectively....

Alrighty then!

Sometimes I THINK I make myself abundantly clear and apparently it's murkier than heck to the audience that I'm playing to.

I DO NOT DO CLOSED CT SCANS.

I thought that was pretty darn clear......yeahwell.......apparently notsomuch to the scheduling folks who made the appointment--they made the appointment alright...just not for the open scan.

Yeah....well.... YES I'm sure I'm not able to do the closed CT. (I did stare at the machine and tried to reason with myself--and failed, obviously......)

And NO--no amount of Xanax is going to change what I already know, thankyouverymuch.

AIN'T happening!!!!

I did get the smooshed breastesses test.

I did NOT crawl on to that table and let the machine swallow me up.

Instead they'll schedule an open one--that's IF they want the pretty photographs bad enough.

And I'm pretty darn sure the doc wants 'em.

He wanted me to show up bad enough that he rang work, rang the work cellphone (apparently multiple times while I was away) before finally sending a letter to the house that informed me that he'd attempted to reach me multiple times prior to sending out the letter.......pushy little fella--and obviously persistent.

SO AM I.

Closed CT ain't happening.

Oh boy.............*sigh* HERE we go!!!!

Lurking......

Fairy Reminder

You have the power to take any ordinary moment and put joy into it.

Your happiness comes not from what you may seek to take away from life but from what you give, what you create, and what you share.

Snails and borrowed troubles not allowed

Boy....... Yaknow, I've tried to stay a step ahead of everything that's being tossed at the sister, warning her, bringing it to her instead of letting it be dropped on her by a physician or some unsuspecting nurse. It's nice to have a little prep time--I would have appreciated it, simply because I'm a control freak and I like to have me in check. I don't particularly 'like' surprises.

So she's referred on to the medical oncology team for an evaluation for chemo therapy. Isn't it strange how that seems bigger than the radiation for her.

I had to remind her that my experience with chemo therapy will not be her experience with chemo therapy--they're all different, even though there might be some similarities. Neither she nor the husband want to go to this appointment--in part because it's oncology and it makes it real-er for them. It took us a good five minutes to actually go IN to the oncology department the first time. And then she typically did what every person does who goes in there.......they start inventorying other patients and they start building their fear base.

I did.

She did.

We talked that.

We talked some about chemo therapy--but at the time they weren't talking chemo, they were talking radiation only.
So her knowledge base goes to what she knows about MY chemo therapies.

This isn't good.

I'm that 'small percent' that walks away from chemo therapy with another problem.....she's worried she'll be another 'small percent'.
And she's scared her experience will be my experience--as is the BIL.

I try to remind them both--different cancer, different 'cocktail'....different disorder, WAY different cocktail. Wait. Buy time. Ask questions. Buy time. Gather information. Find out about your disease and your cocktail.

Most of all 'Breathe......'.

It's hard to walk through all this. Borrowing worries based on another's experience isn't a good plan. And yes, I know it's hard not to.

They'll make the appointment that neither one wants to go to.

And she planted two tomatoes--which she's concerned the snails will get to.

NO worries--we'll post a sign to tell them to GO AWAY. I'm sure they have 'no snails allowed' signs.

Yeah.....probably not--but no worries!! Himself is constructing one as I type!

*nodding* I'm pretty sure the snails will respect his efforts. :-/

Now if curing her 'borrowing troubles' was only that simple.......

Maybe we can make a sign for THAT too!

TFTD

Sometimes the best way to move forward is to go back. Go back, into the experience of your life, and remind yourself why.

Go back and remember why you’re where you are, why you’re doing whatever you’re doing. Go back and remember what truly matters to you.

In your mind, go back to a time and a place when life felt positively magical. Realize that the magical feeling is still very much a part of you.

See that now, too, is magical. Understand that your best possibilities are with you even now.

Go back and appreciate all the good things you have ever had. From a deep and profound sense of gratitude, know that in this very time is the potential for more joy than ever before.

Go back, and see that all the goodness that ever was, still is. Now, carry all that goodness with you as you continue to move positively forward.

After, After the After and Before the After

This is the after an afternoon of pulling back and transferring to. I like my little rock garden--even better now that it's 'fixed'.

This is what's left from the transfer--another 'after', but after the after.

And this is what I started with.

<-- was right about there being rocks and 'stuff' under that mess!! HA!

Fairy Reading for Today

Confidence is an attitude you choose, not an evaluation of what you’ve already been through.

Ultimately, confidence does not come from who you know or where you’ve been or what you’ve done. It comes from your choice to do what you know you must.

Baby Boomers

Fold, spindle and mutilate.....

......ah yes, the 'fun' things we do in the midwest for Friday nights!

Yeah, well....most folks might not consider it relaxing or fun, but I decided to have a go at more folding and gluing and stuff. I'm not very good at sitting without something to do with my hands. I'll FIND something to do with 'em if I don't put something constructive in my path--that'd be why taking toys to meetings is a good plan (around other people's necks gets averted....LOL).

So last night was making use of more magazing paper (geeze we get a lot of magazines.....), buttons and ugly stock cards that I couldn't quite bring myself to do something with when I discovered them in the box. They are NOT a pretty colour.......

I'm still not sure I'm satisfied, but what the heck--a bit of swirly letters and maybe I'll be good to go. Or maybe not.......but it'll be 'good enough'.
It kept me from being too annoying while himself was trying to watch a movie (I have no clue what it was but it musta been funny cuz he chuckled a lot.....)

So I folded and cut and glued and rearranged....and I caught up with the sister who's trying to digest bits and pieces of all the information the 'nuke 'em' guy gave her. He's referred her for a chemotherapy evaluation--apparently to be done in conjunction with radiation for 'best results'.

Yup......overload for her.

But they gave her a cool date book with spaces for appointments, information about the procedures, and cool nature photos with fun beads and baubles therein.

She was feeling special! (Of course I know she IS special, so no news there!)

And she said I made pretties. She'd say that no matter what I ended up with....

*laughing*

Yup--she got all the 'nice genes'.....

Fairy Reminder

Everything that happens is an opportunity for you to make a difference. Rather than wasting your energy on judgment and remorse, put that energy into making a difference.

Every one of your abilities gives you the ability to make a difference.

New Blanket

Fairy Dust

Choose to choose.

Decide how your life will be, this hour, this day.

Quilt Barn #44

Fairy Diddy

"Why are you rushing so much?" asked the rabbi. "

"I'm rushing after my livelihood," the man answered.

"And how do you know," said the rabbi, "that your livelihood is running on before you, so that you have to rush after it? Perhaps it's behind you, and all you need to do is stand still."

—Tale about Rabbi Ben Meir of Berdichev

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