Courtesy of the girl......

Yup---she's checked in and is getting along just fine.

Today---she's taking a trip to find monkeys. LOL
Go figure.

Working second shift to stay in line with the worksite in the US, she's keeping odd hours for India and seems to be enjoying her leisurely swim in the pool before heading into work.

And yep....plenty of bottled water.....LOL

Friday's fairy dusting

There is something new you can learn today.

There is some improvement you can make today.

There is someone who would dearly appreciate a kind word from you today.

There is a purpose within you today.

There is a way for you to make a positive difference today.

There is so much you can do today, and now is the moment to begin.

Things that make me happy

....that first hummingbird sighting

....steals of a deal on shirts that don't fit other people

....fresh strawberries you pick yourself

....the smell of freshly mowed grass

....clean, silky jammies

....a happy Harry on the new woodpecker feeder

....himself's 'scruffy' kiss before leaving for the workday

....getting tucked into bed :-)

TFTD

A boy once asked his grandfather how he had become so happy and successful in his life. "Right decisions," replied his grandfather. The boy thought for a while and then asked a second question, "But how do you learn to make right decisions?" The grandfather answered quickly with a twinkle in his eye, "Wrong decisions!"

k......let the whining begin!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously.
Where IS the girl when I need her?!

Yeah, yeah........India. I know, I know.

And yippee for Wednesdays. (can you tell that Mel's about to whine and carry on or WHAT?!)

Seriously......it's Wednesday. It's the handful of pill night and I have to deal with the fuzzy brain tomorrow.
AND I gotta go to some social function tomorrow that (you mighta noted) I'm not particularly overjoyed about going to.
k....when am I EVER overjoyed about social functions?!
(the answer to that is "N-E-V-E-R")

Fund raisers are not my deal.
Cocktails, dinner, rubbing elbows.... *sigh*
C'mon!
NONE of those things are my deal.
Face it....I'm not well versed at 'playing nice with others' and 'saying what folks wanna hear'.
I'm an 'agitator'--I 'disturb' people by pointing out truths they may not necessarily wanna have pointed out.
I'm a 'manipulator' and I'm always always ALWAYS trying for something for the other person(s) around me.
And sometimes--I'm in it for 'winning'. (that's just honest, even if I don't like that quality about me.....)

I do NOT like social functions.
I don't 'rub elbows' well.

Thursday night I get to 'rub elbows'........cuz I was asked to.

Don't think I graciously volunteered!
It took quite a bit of pausing before I could answer "Yes, thank you--I'd be honoured to do that."
(now, ask if I MEANT it........I did not.........)

Hence the 'I'm too old for this dress' dress.
Cocktails.
Dinner.
Elbow rubbin'...

Elbow rubbin' on a Fuzzy Thursday evening.
It's not like I didn't ask to postpone Wednesday's handfull.
.....did......and got told NO very clearly....

If the boss thinks I'm a loose cannon and a hard to manage person on a non-fuzz day......OH BOY......

I wonder if I can work fuzz day to my benefit and plea 'temporary insanity' on Friday?!
*nodding*
I'm thinkin' that's my best shot.
And I'm thinkin' I'll probably haffta take it.



LOL....forced choice, of course.
When life hands you lemons--squeeze 'em for all their worth! LOL

Wednesday's Thought......

This is your life. The only person who can successfully live it is you.
Do you really think you can ever find fulfillment by signing over your control and responsibility to someone else? You're here to live and to do, not to merely observe and complain.

There's no sense in fighting over the scraps that others might or might not throw under the table.

Instead, get busy and create your own magnificent feast.
Stop going from door to door begging for someone else to solve all your problems for you. Instead, pick a formidable challenge, work your way through it, and you'll build plenty of strength and experience to handle whatever situations come your way.


(not that I was gonna start whinin' or anything.....)

......excuse the neurotic moment.......

I AM TOO OLD FOR THIS FREAKIN' DRESS!!!!!!!

*sigh*

Where IS the girl when I need her?!

Oh.

I can answer that one!

India.

*sigh*

Tuesday's TFTD

The priorities that are really priorities are the ones that dictate where you focus your awareness.

The priorities that truly matter are the ones in which you invest your interest, your attention and, most importantly, your action.
You can follow whatever priorities you choose, and in every moment you are constantly choosing.

Remember, as you go through each day, to choose those priorities wisely.

It's been......a day......

Right. I worked this morning and snuck home at lunchtime.
The sun was out......and I was all sortsa excited about lightin' up the firepit and having a grand time on the patio.
Yeah, yeah....my best laid plans.....
Clouds happened.

*sigh*



Add insult to injury---I'd located the sidewalk chalk and was rarin' to go to work on the patio sidewalk.

Rawr.....
RAWR!

BUT real clincher for the day was when I asked the question.....
Ummmm........Yeah, well, see--I have this thingy to go to and I gotta look...dunno what to call it......
Human, perhaps?
Yeah, well, colour me dumb (!) cuz I dared to ask himself.
He dared to answer.

"Sooooo, like.....am I too old to wear this?"




Yes.
He's still breathing........

QOTW 5/25

What's the first thing(s) you do when you get home from work?

I 'decompress'.
I know--that sounds a bit strange...but it's required.
I know I carry a whole lot of 'stuff' around with me during the course of one work day. Other people's stuff--which in turn touches my stuff.....LOTS of 'stuff'. It's the nature of what I'm privileged to get to do, today.

Generally, I try to start the 'decompressing' in the car.
Most days, it takes til I get home (sometimes it takes longer) to start to put all that in its rightful place.

I don't want that 'stuff' entering the house and interfering.

Sooooooo....I have this 'hook' that's beside the door (yes, it's invisible) and that's where I hang what needs hung......and then I enter the house and go about the business of 'being present' where my feet are.

If I glance at that (invisible) hook and know that's JUST not gonna cut it--I slip out of the garage and go straight to the patio for a few moments to get myself together and put 'stuff' in its rightful place.
But before I enter the house....... I'm reaching up next to the doorframe and hangin' it up.

LOL I'm thinkin' I'm glad there's no surveillance camera in the garage to capture that cuz I can easily imagine how crazy I look......

Monday's fairy thoughts

Learn to love challenge, and you'll fill your life with accomplishment.

Learn to love effort, and your skills will grow more valuable with each passing day.
Learn to love making a difference, and doors will quickly open for you wherever you go.

Learn to love giving freely of yourself, and you'll receive more fulfillment than you ever could imagine.
Learn to love being the authentic person you are, and everything you do will be infused with integrity.

Learn to love whatever work you're doing, and that work will bring abundant rewards.
Learn to love beauty for beauty's sake, and you'll discover a wealth of it in places no one else would even think to look.

Learn to love unconditionally, and there will be no limit to what your love can accomplish.

Learn to love life just because it is, and each day will be a grand new adventure.
Learn to love the moment you're in, and you'll find richness in every direction.
Learn to love the possibilities, and you'll make your way to whatever you seek.


Learn to love no matter what.

Welcome to springtime in Iowa?

It's that time of year.....

We've got storm to the west of us, storms to the south--
Here I am...
Stuck in the basement with him. LOL

Sorry.
Couldn't resist....

And we're not stuck in the basement JUST yet.
But there's that likelyhood that we will be.

Suddenly it became 78 degrees--and humid.
We're under a tornado watch until 10pm and there's a town northwest of us that's been leveled by a tornado already this evening.....
And now...it's getting dark.

I mind the propensity of ickiness happening in the light. But once you add that 'dark' factor it's REAL scary.

But.......no worries.
Flashlight.
Radio/Television.
Cellphones. (they gotta be good for somethin'...LOL)
Pillows.
Blankies (in case I wanna pull one over my head and pretend).
We're set. And trust me--I'm cautious cuz I've been through enough to know--while it's kinda cool watching from a distance....upclose and personal with a tornado isn't the least bit fun.

Clear path to the basement is required!

Geeze I wish it wouldn't do this stuff in the dark of night.

The stairs

There's a long flight of stairs....

Mossy, growth covered steps leading upwards to a little piece of heaven.

Where people don't exist--and the solitude embraces peacefullness.

For 18 years I've noted those steps........and never taken them.

If you want me next Saturday---you'll know where to find me.

Catchin' up on the patio.....

It's been a longggggggg, hard, cruel winter.

I know this because it's been eon's since the neighbor fella's spent time yakkin' with me on the patio.
Yesterday evening, after the firepit had been drug out and the flowers (the one Mr. Bunny's not dined on as a starter) were watered, I found myself being caught up on the latest and greatest of the neighborhood.

Did I know the neighbor down the street lost the job he'd had for almost 20 years right after the holidays?
Nope.....didn't know that. And yep......that must well and truly be hard stuff to deal with.

Did I know the neighbors 'kitty-corner' from his house split up but were back together now?
Nope--didn't know that......but I did know it was a troubling situation. I'd rung the police a couple times to report concerns with the dad screaming at the mom--and I'd hollered at the fella a couple times when I was outside and he started in on the wife with his verbal abuse. And I'd spoken with the wife once who make it clear to me that 'there really wasn't a problem'.

Did I know the kiddos were taken by Social Services after teachers reported bruising on two of them?
No. Did he know if I ever witnessed the fella strike one of those children or the mom that all hell would break loose?
Go figure....he DID know that one.....



And did I see the commotion the other night with the police and sheriff cars?
Ummmmmmm.....nope--I had families that showed up to spend time with me and their kiddos.
Dangit that I missed 'all the action' when law enforcement showed up with lights flashing and arrested the fella directly across the street.
Why did they show up, you ask?
(Yeah, well, I asked as well.)

The neighbor fella wasn't sure--but he was guessin' the fella across the street (who'd just showed up a couple months earlier and I didn't know it......) apparently decided to get a job with a local fella who does carpentry stuff. Not a crime in and of itself. LOL Carpentry is an honourable profession--however, the neighbor fella thinks the hiring carpenter checked into the fella across the street and discovered him to be an immigrant who's in the country illegally......hence the flashing lights.
So the story went on the patio.

Darn that I missed the flashin' lights and all that excitement!
But we did have a lovely chat--and I did get to hear about the onion sets he was putting in and the garden that's being tilled this weekend (finally.....)....

And I did offer to show the neighbor fella the Brit's passport and all the pretties that designate him to be a Legal Resident Alien.
Better yet, I asked him to call law enforcement (since they're on a roll) so we can show THEM the pretty passport.
We haven't had to show it off yet and it's about high time!
The neighbor fella lauged and said he'd try to remember to do that at some point.......

I just asked that he give me a bit of time to hide the passport and that he make the phone call on one of the night's I'm not working.

I'd be soooooooooooo upset if I was deprived of being present for that moment when himself reached in the passports 'place for everything and everything in it's place' only to discover it wasn't there.....
*snickering*






Ohhhhh, I'm suchhhhhh an evil one....LOL

A bit of dust from the reading fairies

It's great progess when we stop focusing on what is wrong with others and start being accountable for ourselves.
Self-respect flows into us when we stand up and say "I did something wrong."
This statement also says, "I have the strength to face my responsibilities and repair my mistakes."

Bubble bursting 101

Whaddya do with a burst bubble?


Welllllll.......I'm thinkin' you wrap your head around having the bubble in the first place and hang on to the fact that it was a bubble?

Yeah.......well, sounds good in theory.

And can I confess how difficult it is to hear your child's disappointment in their own victory?
Only.....I'm not sure it's her own victory she was disappointed in so much as it was the bursting of the bubble.

Yep.....she's off to India this afternoon.
Any and all plans I had to help the kiddo round up things that she was going to need for the journey got foiled when I developed a killer headache and couldn't make myself function for the life of me.
*sigh*
I was disappointed beyond disappointed (burst bubble moment!).....she handled it with dignity and grace, of course.
I, of course, whined..........LOL

She's got 'expectations' attached to this journey.
Well.....go figure that one.
Only she's convinced the expectations place her in the line of fire with her employer and thinks they're unobtainable for the short amount of time she's scheduled to be there.

k.......she could be right about the 'time allowed' thingy.
She wants to be 'right' about all of it, of course. LOL (yes, she is her mother's child--AND she's neurotic!)

Really, she'll do more than 'just fine'.......which is what I assured her of at midnight when the panic hit her....

You'll do GREAT. Really.....you won't let yourself do less cuz it's how you're made.

MOM.....There's NO WAY I'm going to get all this put into place and operable in three weeks time! I don't know their systems and there are soooo many nuances to the one I'm introducing..... They're gonna nod their head, act like they understand and refuse to tell me they don't get it cuz they won't wanna look stupid.

Plenty of time enroute to get your strategies firmed up--you'll do great.

Oh gawdddddddd......they're going to do what YOU DO..........





HOLD ON THERE A MINUTE!!!!!
k......I breezed right by that remark when she made it at midnight cuz we weren't talking ME.......we were talking her need to do what was in front of her with all the confidence she possesses about this system she developed and is training them to implement.
Besides......

Even if that WAS true (k....it is.........) I wouldn't just nod and smile and take myself to the corner to figure it out on my own!

k........I probably would........cuz I'm like that.......

Sheeshhhhhh.......there's something about being busted out by your OWN that really bites...LOL

Friday's Fairy Thoughts.......

Fears of intimacy, of learning about ourselves in a committed relationship, have kept many of us lonely.

Focusing on the need for a sexual high helps us avoid the intimacy we fear.

Whether we are in a long-term relationship or not, thinking that sex is love limits our chances for a comfortable intimacy.

Sex is an expression of an intimacy that already exists, rather than a way to become intimate.

Many of us fear closeness beyond the romantic stage.

Others of us have pursued closeness, but when we met our own emptiness we said that wasn't the right person for us and ran in search of another excitement.

The problem for us isn't the choice between singleness and marriage, but between letting someone truly know us or not.

Twitterings....

A little birdie told me:

The only way to get past something is to go 'through'...

Thanks a whole LOT ya silly bird.....

Thursday's thought......

Though it can at times be impossible to know which choice is best for you, it is usually very easy to know what the worst choice is.

Almost always, the worst choice is to avoid making a choice.
Life offers many attractive choices.
Make your choice, and then put your commitment behind it.

Even if it doesn't work out as you expected, at the very least you will have gained valuable knowledge and experience for making the next choice.

Wednesday's TFTD

When your reason for doing so is meaningful enough, you can bear any burden and prevail through any challenge.

When you know why, you'll have what it takes to work through how.

Ack!!!!!!!!!!

*choking*

Excuse me?

Ack.....

ACK!!!!!!!

O

M

G
!
!
!


k...... We're prone to opening mail and conversing at the supper table. It's just what we do.

Imagine, if you will.....discovering this lovely piece of mail during a leisurely evening meal.

O
M
G
!
!
!

Yes---choking happened......

Himself took it all in stride, of course.

He did tell me he was REAAAAALLLLLLLYYYYYY glad it came postmarked to me. LOL

And THEN he promptly starting making plans with what to do with the contents therein--
NOT that we know the contents therein.

I DID NOT OPEN IT!!!

(just for the record, of course....)

But himself 'knows in his heart of hearts" that the gal friend up the street--(ya know, the church goin', upstanding gal whose cats I watch on occasion) would love to be the recipient of the mysterious inner envelope......unopened of course......so she could 'pass it on'.......YEAH, RIGHT!!!!! That's after she's found a place to hide the body, of course (and I'd probably HELP her!).

I was grateful it came clearly marked: WARNING!! CAUTION!!! Do NOT open this if you're offended by triple x rated stuff.... (rest assured all of our models ARE of age cuz we checked!)

(like they'd tell the truth and toss out valid identification if they WERE underage?! duhhhhhhhhhhh.......)

ACK!!!!!!!!!!

I DID NOT OPEN THE ENVELOPE!!!!!

Now, granted-- they gave me the means to get myself off the mailing list.....however it is that I found myself ON it..... which is a question himself continues to ask me--and IF he continues to ask....I'll have my OWN plans for that clearly marked envelope.

Oh....Don't worry!

I wouldn't really harm himself.

BUT...
.....if by chance I ever changed my mind and OPTED to, ('specially given the nature of his gleeful tormenting this evening--cuz it's getting darn close folks!!).....I'd clearly warn you (in large red letters WITH warning signs!!!) prior to posting photos of the event!

O
M
G
!
!
!

NO MORE monkeys jumpin' on the bed!

1:05 p.m. Friday her flight takes off from Iowa........bound for O'Hare then to Heathrow--final destination Bangalore, India.

Right!!!!!!

Bottled water, only....even for teeth brushing!
Close the windows--don't wanna be havin' monkeys in the hotel room......or mosquitos......
Yeah, yeah.....four star hotel=mud hut in India....you're not foolin' me.
OMG........tell me you have the number for the Embassy.......yaknow......JUST in case.....
Do NOT eat anything sold on the street--G-d only knows how long it's been there.....
Call up Information Technology for Microsoft and get yourself a crash course in understanding THEIR version of English......quick!
Bottled water only! I MEAN IT!!!!!!!
..........oh...........
And........buy a scarf to drape over your breasteses, maybe?

Yeah......that's her biggest worry. (no pun intended)
See......she's not allowed to show her knees.......nor any cleavage.
NO cleavage.
Seriously. It's disallowed.

This 'problem' is NOT my doings and even she knows that...... Rightfully, she's blamin' the dad who has a chest--not the mom who has none.....LOL
Needless to say......

Cleavage must not happen!

I did suggest shopping in the 'old ladies' department where necklines are a bit more conservative.
She thought the scarf idea was the way to go---until she checked out the weather report for India.
93°, 93°, 97 ° etc...., ect...., et al.......
And it's the end of the moonsoon weather.
Maybe she can just chronically carry an umbrella, opened......to cover that stuff that the mom doesn't possess?

She informed me that windows will be opened in that heat.


Oy brother........
Kinda explains that "......no more monkeys jumpin' on the bed......." thingy stuck in my head, huh?

LOL

Things that make you happy....

....baby sheepies

....watching little trains go 'round and 'round and 'round

....the smell of garlic bread baking

....a warm hug from a dear friend

....playing 'Give a Little Bit' over and over and over again until himself looks at you funny and shakes his little head LOL

....new sticky note pads JUST FOR ME!

....a text message from himself to remind me of what I'd forgotten

....a new, bitty glow in the dark rubber duckie

Tried to tell him......

This......is not a bugglia bush.
If it were a bugglia bush, I'd be laughing and going on about Himself's adventure with the bugglia bush.

k.....so it's not REALLY called a 'bugglia bush'--but that's what I've dubbed it.
And we've had bugglias on our patio for two years now.
In a pot, no less--and they've managed to survive the winter in the pot......even when I was convinced I'd killed the darn thing.
We're approaching year three......and there's two bugglias just waiting to sprout green and feed the butterflies that love 'em. (this is why they're called butterfly bushes!)

Only......himself was a bit---exhuberant this year.

<-- tried to tell him it was a bit early for pruning the bugglias.
And nope, he didn't listen.

<--tried to tell him to (excuse the language, please) "water the piss outta 'em".
And nope, he didn't listen.

So if that WAS a picture of the bugglias it'd have no leaves and certainly no flowers!

So WHAT if 'THE mum' told him HER bugglias were about to blossom.
HELLO........she's in England and didn't get 74 inches of snow this winter?!

OUR bugglias are brown and naked.
And himself--pronounced them 'dead'.

<--again, tried to tell him to (excuse the language AGAIN) "water the piss outta 'em" and give 'em a bit more time.
And nope, he didn't listen.

Yep......he went shopping and bought-----
You guessed it!
Not one.....but TWO bugglia bushes.

And today--yours truly wandered home to the muttering Brit who told me:

"Do not go on the patio and look at the bugglias."

Whyever not, you ask......
Cuz the bugglias have sprouted green, of course.

The good news is--I'm more than willing to locate two new pots to put the two new bugglia bushes into!
Hey...works for me!
If some is good, MORE is better!


And that photo?
That's a photo of the tree at work.

IF that were a photo of the bugglias---they'd be laughing.



(but I'm sure they wouldn't tell on me for watering the piss outta 'em when himself wasn't lookin'.....)

Monday's Fairy Thought

Many of the good and valuable things you do will go unnoticed by everyone else.

Do them anyway.

Many of the contributions you make will not be fully appreciated by others.
Make them anyway.

Even when there is no possibility of recognition, there is still plenty of reason to give your very best.
Even when no one else appreciates the value of what you're doing, you understand that value.
Even when no one else is watching, you are watching.

Be ever true to yourself and to the values you hold dear.

Still plays with trains

(Reminder to self)...Himself did the two Shay logging locos. (last three photos)

Bear Butte Logging......LOL Who'da thunk himself would be responsible for that name.

*snickering*

He's a very naughty boy. ;-)

QOTW 5/18

When was the last time you were afraid?

This morning.....when it got particularly late for himself to be still sleeping.

What scared you?

That magical mind of mine wondered if I was going to peek in and find a dead body.
True.

I do have a magical, creative buncha squirrels that run around in the ol' brain, huh?
Oddly enough.....that's a real fear of mine.......

Mr. Bunny

Some mornings it's worth taking myself out to that patio swing and just having a sit.

Thankfully, I could do that without a blankie this morning....LOL...even if it was a whopping 51 degrees.

Mr. Bunny was silently chomping on his corns. (plural cuz there's lots of corns on that little cob that he was munching on)
So he and I had a bit of a conversation (k....pretty one sided cuz he's a polite thing and won't talk with food in his mouth, though he did nod in understanding a lot......)

I whined, of course. Figured I should get that outta the way so I could move on with my day. I'm still a bit ruffled about the botched marrow aspiration at the stupid hospital that I don't like in the first place.
I'm pretty sure someone lost a job on Thursday and I'm relatively sure they'll be relieved when I don't sue their rearends.
Cuz I won't.
But I'm still crabby about it.......and I'm still sore and none of what transpired shoulda transpired.
Mr. Bunny agreed......he even agreed that I won't return to that hospital for any of their services--that it's better to go to the other one even if they're not 'attached' to the oncologist.

And I whined about having a room full of pissed off people because *I* adhere to a standard and ended up exposing multiples of administrators who weren't--they didn't plan on being exposed and I really didn't plan on exposing them.....that's just how it transpired.
.....k.......I'll admit that I found it a bit amusing, watching people scramble with their pants down.
It's probably not 'cool' to find amusement in other's shortcomings.
And yes, Mr. Bunny raised his eyebrows to that one.
I wanna think that was about their integrity--but hindsight would tell me it was more about 'check your own motives'.

He's a smart one, Mr. Bunny.......

Oh.....and he laughed at my joke.
(that's kinda important in my world, having a sense of humour...)

So, with whining out of the way--I oughta be able to have a semi-productive puttering day.
Leastwise, that was Mr. Bunny's parting words of wisdom before he leisurely hopped off to start his.

Yup.
*hop hop hop*
Hoppin' off to start mine, now!

Saturday's thoughts....

Loving allows us to live and through living we grow in loving.--Evelyn Mandel

Many days it seems too easy to be centered on ourselves, wondering if others love us rather than loving others.
On those days, we may have to act "as if" we love the persons who live on our pathways.
The unexpected gift is that we do begin to feel both love and loved.
Living becomes easier, and so does loving.

Acting "as if" is a good way of learning those behaviors that don't feel natural.
And in time, acting "as if" is necessary no more.

I can behave in any way I decide to.
I can choose to think about others, and love them.
I can choose to forget myself, today.

Friday's thought for the day

Take a risk.

Take a chance.

We do not have to indulge in obviously foolhardy or self-defeating risks, but we can allow ourselves to take positive risks.

We cannot afford to keep ourselves paralyzed.

We do not have to keep ourselves stymied and trapped out of fear of making a mistake or failing.

Naturally, we will make mistakes and fail from time to time.
That's part of being fully alive.
There are no guarantees.
If we are waiting for guaranteed courses of action, we may spend much of our life waiting.

We do not have to shame ourselves or accept shame from anyone else for making mistakes.
The goal is not to live life perfectly.
The goal is to live, learn our lessons, and make overall progress.

Take a risk.
Do not always wait for a guarantee.

We don't have to listen to "I told you so."

Dust yourself off after a mistake, and then move on.

Please forgive Fuzzy Thursday......

It's a good thing medical science continues to evolve--really!

Seriously......when I started this dance with health stuff their idea of a marrow aspiration involved the employing of big men who'd lay halfway across your rearend, put their full weight into your hip while they screwed something into your hipbone.

k........not probably REAL accurate--but it sure felt like it.

I'd hobble away from the marrow aspiration experience bruised in front and in back, dreading the replay I knew I'd get to do.

Today even the short, scrawny ones can do an aspiration.

Yeah, yeah....I'll still leave bruised in front and in back. Mostly cuz I bruise so dang easily--hazard of the disorder and just a part of the deal.

I'm wondering WHY I'd think showing up on a Fuzzy Thursday for one of those dealies was a good plan.....
What was I thinkin'?!

"You're a bit messed up/off kilter--why not?!"

*shaking head*

Probably.

There's a fine example of how 'if some is good, MORE is better' can work in the opposing direction. LOL

Why we're doing the marrow test--cuz doc thinks he needs to have the inside scoop (no pun intended) on all this.

I know it's required and it's the responsible thing to do--probably even smart!

Now.....ASK if I wanna show up and hobble around while I'm fuzzy.

And ask if I wanna wait for results.

I suck at that 'wait' stuff.

And I sure do whine a whole lot.....LOL

I was TRYING to be grateful for the advances of medical technology.

Now all I can think about is how I'm being cheated from some big burly dude 'having his way with me'......ROFL

OMG

I'm a very, very sic(k) woman.......LOL

Oh......be still reading fairy.......

To be alive means to experience difficulties, conflicts, challenges from many directions.

What we do with adverse conditions both determines and is determined by who we are. Resistance, most of us have learned, heightens the adversity.

Acceptance of the condition, trusting all the while the lesson it offers us is for our benefit, ensures that we'll "come out on top."

Difficulties are opportunities for advancement, for increased self-awareness, for self-fulfillment.

Happiness is the bounty for facing the momentarily unhappy conditions.

BE the rightness of what's true.....

I'm having a rather.......pensive moment.

I'm sure it's spurred on by some words shared on the screen--not shared willy nilly....not untruths.......just shared words about what's proven to be true in my life and my experience.

We treat each other badly cuz we buy into the delusion that it's 'allowed' or that we're somehow 'entitled'.

And we're not.

Hard lesson learned for me.

I'm thinkin' the reading fairies were spot on this morning to remind me of the places I've been.....and the places I can still go, should I 'forget'.....

I'm gonna go forth into my day wearing that sad thought---and joyously know that I KNOW I'm not entitled.

And I'm going to BE the rightness of what's true......

We're all 'entitled' to be treated with compassion, with dignity and respect, and with love.

Sounds like one heck of a task.

Please trust me when I say.......easy peasy!

TFTD from the fairies

Talking openly and honestly to another person about ourselves, in an attitude that reflects self-responsibility, is critical having different in our lives.

It's important to admit what we have done wrong to others and to ourselves.
Verbalize our beliefs and our behaviors.
Get our resentments and fears out in the open.
That's how we release our pain.
That's how we release old beliefs and feelings.
That's how we are set free.

The more clear and specific we can be with ourselves and another person, the more quickly we will experience that freedom.
For those of us who have learned to keep secrets from others, and ourselves it is not just a step - it is a leap toward becoming healthy.

I will remember that it's okay to talk about the issues that bother me.
It is by sharing my issues that I will grow beyond them.
I will also remember that it's okay to be selective about those in whom I confide.
I can trust my instincts and choose someone who will not use my disclosures against me, and who will give me healthy feedback.

Things that make you happy

....that 'just ONE more' clay pot for the patio

....leftover plants which mean just ONE more clay pot for the patio

....coming home on a Friday to a freshly mowed lawn

....discovering it's only Saturday (when you're convinced the next day is Monday)

....rain on freshly potted plants

....digging in dirt

....perfect rice

....going to bed any time you want--for any reason you want

Reading Fairy Thought for the Day

Learn to identify who owns what.

Let each person own and possess his or her rightful property.

If another person has an addiction, a problem, a feeling, or a self-defeating behavior, that is their property, not ours.

If someone is a martyr, immersed in negativity, controlling, or manipulative behavior, that is their issue, not ours.

If someone has acted and experienced a particular consequence, both the behavior and the consequence belong to that person.

If someone is in denial or cannot think clearly on a particular issue, that confusion belongs to him or her.

If someone has a limited or impaired ability to love or care, that is his or her property, not ours.

If someone has no approval or nurturing to give away, that is that person's property.

People's lies, deceptions, tricks, manipulations, abusive behaviors, inappropriate behaviors, cheating behaviors, and tacky behaviors belong to them, too.

Not us.

People's hope and dreams are their property.

Their guilt belongs to them too.

Their happiness or misery is also theirs.

So are their beliefs and messages.

If some people don't like themselves, that is their choice.

Other people's choices are their property, not ours.

What people choose to say and do is their business.

What is our property?

Our property includes our behaviors, problems, feelings, happiness, misery, choices, and messages; our ability to love, care, and nurture; our thoughts, our denial, our hopes and dreams for ourselves.

Whether we allow ourselves to be controlled, manipulated, deceived, or mistreated is our business.

Learn an appropriate sense of ownership.

If something isn't ours, we don't take it.

If we take it, we learn to give it back.

Let other people have their property, and learn to own and take good care of what's ours.

Some moments you just have to grab while they're there...

And this.......was one of 'em.... *chuckling*

TFTD

We can let ourselves be close to people.

Many of us have deeply ingrained patterns for sabotaging relationships.

Some of us may instinctively terminate a relationship once it moves to a certain level of closeness and intimacy.

When we start to feel close to someone, we may zero in on one of the person's character defects, and then make it so big it's all we can see.

We may withdraw, or push the person away to create distance.

We may start criticizing the other person, a behavior sure to create distance.

We may start trying to control the person, a behavior that prevents intimacy.

We may tell ourselves we don't want or need another person, or smother the person with our needs.

Sometimes, we defeat ourselves by trying to be close to people who aren't available for intimacy - people with active addictions, or people who don't choose to be close to us.

Sometimes, we choose people with particular faults so that when it comes time to be close, we have an escape hatch.

We're afraid, and we fear losing ourselves.

We're afraid that closeness means we won't be able to own our power to take care of ourselves.

We're learning that it's okay to let ourselves be close to people.

We're choosing to relate to safe, healthy people, so closeness is a possibility.

Closeness doesn't mean we have to lose ourselves, or our life.

We're learning that we can own our power with people, even when we're close, even when the other person has something we need.

QOTW 5/11

"Obstacles can't stop you. Problems can't stop you. Most of all,
other people can't stop you. Only you can stop you."

What obstacles am I focused on?

I think I'm embarassed to admit it......

I'm focused on the bitty piece of health stuff I have going on in my life. (bitty in comparison to the places I've walked)

And I'm focused on financial stuff--not of the worksite kind.....ones of the household kind. I think that's more about the Brit than it is about me. I tend to borrow troubles, wondering how he'd fare if something should happen to me.

There.

I put that in black and white---maybe I can start the process of letting that one go now.

What problems am I whining about?

Omgosh have I been whining.....
*sigh*
And whining.
AND whining.....

I'm scared that the list will be wayyyyyyyyyy long if I start to put it down here.
(maybe that's the point, eh?)
(It generally works for me to put things into black and white---I can give a look at it instead of keeping it in my head and letting it play over and over and over again......)

The whinings:
Too many responsibilities resting on my shoulders at work.
(the boss says 'delegate' and 'share'.....I say with WHO--other overloaded people?)
Too many responsibilities resting on my shoulders NOT at work.
(yeah.....I know, I know......SHARE........)
There's not enough hours in the day. (there's 24--that's all you're gonna get--accept that one!)
There's too much stuff to get done......always, always going to bed with that 'what didn't get done today that needs done tomorrow' list. (yeah, I know...LET IT GO.....)
I don't WANNA be a grown up. (tough......get over it.......)
I don't WANNA haffta do stupid medical stuff AGAIN. (do it anyway---don't gotta wanna do something to do it)
I hate to pay bills. (gee..........another required thing--do it anyway)
I can't find anyone who's free to re-shingle the roof. (price you pay for waiting til spring, silly person!.....keep lookin'.....)
I don't LIKE cellphones and I have two? (no answer to that one....LOL)

k.....I'm feeling silly now.......
Maybe that's the point of the list, eh?