Waking up with cold water

Fairy Wisdom for the Day

She lacks confidence, she craves admiration insatiably. She lives on the reflections of herself in the eyes of others. She does not dare to be herself.
—Anais Nin

How aptly these words describe us. Many activities were not attempted, courses weren't taken, conversations weren't initiated because we lacked confidence. The pain, the constant search for acceptance and love in the eyes and behavior of others, still haunts us. But those days are past. We are daring to be ourselves, one day at a time.

Confidence still wavers on occasion, and we may need assurance that we're lovable. Gratefully, we can look to one another for the additional boost we may need to face the day. Being there for one another, knowing that we understand each other's fears as people offers the strength to go ahead that we may lack today or tomorrow.

*sighing!!*

Me.
Kindle.
Couch.

I'm not a happy bunny.
And if I were a happy bunny I'd have a purple rabbit's foot.
As is, I'm a crabby human....with a purple humans' foot.

Consequently.....
Me.
Kindle.
Couch.

*sigh*

Limit the time standing they tell me....
Normal they tell me.
I damaged muscle and nerves they tell me.

....k....
There IS no more "up time" to surrender!

....
Me.
Kindle.
Couch.

Fairy Dust

Help your neighbor's boat across, and lo! your own has reached the shore.

Hindu proverb

Flutterby Dreams

Warning....

These are badddd....cuz they're GOOD.

Sorta explains the "Cheetos!" answer he-who-does-the-shopping gets to the "Is there anything you'd like?" question asked as he heads out the door to go shop.  Yup....addictive....guaranteed to disappear if a bowl is left within the reach of a "stuck on the couch" person....specially if IT KEEPS GETTING REFILLED!!!

It's become somewhat of a joke around here "Besides Cheetos--is there anything you'd like".

Last night.....I went to retrieve said Cheetos from the kitchen.  Empty bowl, dontchaknow.....  As I rustled through the cupboard to discover NO MORE CHEETOS, I could hear the footsteps fast and furious coming up the basement steps.
I settled for cookies (oh, there's a grand answer, huh?!) and kept moving.

Did we have Cheetos?
Uh huh.
Did he hide them just to get a rise outta me?
UH huh.  :-/
I'm gonna start hiding these things in cupboards and closets--behind boxes and in drawers at this rate.  LOL OMGosh.....

Yes well....

Great.  I have Cheetos in the bowl again.
BUT THERE'S NO RESERVE.

And there's (here's a surprise...) a snowstorm.


UH huh.....he who laughs first........  :-/

Today's Reading

Standing Up for Ourselves 

We learn some behaviours have self-defeating consequences, while others have beneficial consequences. We learn we have choices.

—Beyond Codependency

It is so easy to come to the defense of others. How clear it is when others are being used, controlled, manipulated, or abused. It is so easy to fight their battles, become righteously indignant, rally to their aid, and spur them on to victory.

"You have rights," we tell them. "And those rights are being violated. Stand up for yourself, without guilt."

Why is it so hard, then, for us to rally to our own behalf? Why can't we see when we are being used, victimized, lied to, manipulated, or otherwise violated? Why is it so difficult for us to stand up for ourselves?

There are times in life when we can walk a gentle, loving path. There are times, however, when we need to stand up for ourselves - when walking the gentle, loving path puts us deeper into the hands of those who could mistreat us.

Some days, the lesson we're to be learning and practicing is one of setting boundaries. Some days, the lesson we're learning is that of fighting for our own rights and ourselves.

Sometimes, the lesson won't stop until we do.

Today, I will rally to my own cause. I will remember that it is okay to stand up for myself when that action is appropriate.

Huggin' Snow Peoples

Oh, look....it's ME! LOLOL

QOTW

What's one 'treasure' you've found in someone else's junk?

Gosh, there's wayyyyy more than one treasure outta 'junk' around here.  We're a bit interested in trains don'tchaknow.  And there are two rather nice chunks of wall in the basement with ...... ummmm....'one man's garbage'.  I mighta trespassed to collect 'em.  I have a habit of walking along railroad tracks and snagging just the right bit of 'stuff'. Usually it's something that's weird looking  but highly functional/common for use on a railway.
They get sealed (cuz they get rustier), the date and train track they were found on get noted--and they get added to my collection of stolen goods.  *laughing*  True!  The good news is I don't do this every time.  I think they're cute with the wee train goin' 'round and 'round and 'round....  And they're FREE......until the rail road police find me.....  (please note the rail road crossing sign in the basement is NOT my doings...it was gifted to himself and I DIDN'T DO IT.  LOL  JUST sayin'.......)
I think my favorite is the date nail I pulled out of a (no longer used bit of track!) railroad tie in the Adirondack's.  Don't ask me the year--I can't remember.

I've also got the study--with NYC train 'stuff'.  NOT my fault!  I simply told he-who-adores-trains that I like the New York Central 20th Century Unlimited.....and *poof!* it happened!  LOL  Most of it's been gifted to me here and there.  Some of it I've stumbled upon and snagged for next to nothing--cuz it ain't 'junk' if you're paying an arm and a leg.....it turns into an 'antique'.  LOLOL

Oh, and then there's the cloverleaf oak side table that was being tossed out......that's still crammed in the dark recesses of the basement storage room.....  Wow.....I just remembered that!  It's still hidden in the basement--and I know it's still there cuz when he-who-gets-to-do-everything was putting back decorations from the holiday he asked me what in the world that wobbly thing was!
Ohhhh...maybe I can talk him into freeing the table and fixing it's poor wobbly self.

*laughing*  I wouldn't want him getting bored on week 11 of having me home 24/7!!

Dare to Have Joy:
*  birdsong in the morning.....they're bacckkk!  :-)
*  the HUGE yellow moon setting this morning
*  the snowman family the Bug made with her mom yesterday  (awwwwwww!)

....another reading from the reading fairy.....

Dealing with Painful Feelings 

Feelings of hurt or anger can be some of the most difficult to face. We can feel so vulnerable, frightened, and powerless when these feelings appear. And these feelings may trigger memories of other, similar times when we felt powerless.

Sometimes, to gain a sense of control, we may punish the people around us, whether they are people we blame for these feelings or innocent bystanders. We may try to "get even," or we may manipulate behind people's backs to gain a sense of power over the situation.

These actions may give us a temporary feeling of satisfaction, but they only postpone facing our pain.

Feeling hurt does not have to be so frightening. We do not have to work so hard to avoid it. While hurt feelings aren't as much fun as feeling happy, they are, still, just feelings.

We can surrender to them, feel them, and go on. That does not mean we have to seek out hurt feelings or dwell unnecessarily on them. Emotional pain does not have to devastate us. We can sit still, feel the pain, figure out if there's something we need to do to take care of ourselves, and then go on with our life.

We do not have to act in haste; we do not have to punish others to get control over our feelings. We can begin sharing our hurt feelings with others. That brings relief and often healing to them and to us.

Eventually, we learn the lesson that real power comes from allowing ourselves to be vulnerable enough to feel hurt. Real power comes from knowing we can take care of ourselves, even when we feel emotional pain. Real power comes when we stop holding others responsible for our pain, and we take responsibility for all our feelings.

Desktop Memory

Fact versus Fiction and YOUR JOB

Yes, I have a magnifying, magical mind.  THERE'S a news flash.
I can convince me of the darnedest things.
And I can react.

Are you lookin' at ME?!
Classic movie line--but I used to be a frequent flier with of that thought....I knew what you were thinking about me and I was coming out with my barrels loaded.

Isn't it amazing that I really DID think it was all about me?  Like others didn't have more important things to fill their mind with...  I failed to check things out.  I automatically assumed it was about me. And really--barrels loaded isn't a joke.  True story.

There's a difference between how I reacted and how others react...and what's driving that reaction.

And granted some folks lie......I lie with the best of the rest of 'em.
But really--if I glance in your direction, odds are it's probably NOT about you.  I'm an ego-centric person.   And while I might have some 'issues' in the esteem department that took a lot of work--I'm NOT where I was and 'fragile' is a word that just isn't used to describe me, go figure.....( though I do jest about me and my 'little fragile alcoholic feelings'....).
Really.  It's not that those wee feelings can't be hurt--it's simply that hurt feelings aren't going to determine my worth and value.  They're just hurt feelings.
Nobody's gonna determine my worth and value.
My worth and value just IS.
Ain't that cool?!  :-)

And odds are, when I ask the questions, I'm going to find out my 'fact' was really 'fiction'. I oughta know--I've done the experiment and taken a tally......(*sigh*  True story THERE, too!)

I share a house with a neurotic Brit.
And I think 'neurotic' is an understatement in his case.
If I look up from where I'm parked on the couch--it's gotta be about him needing to DO something.

"What?!"  "Did I do something?  Do you need something?  Something wrong?"
"Nope!  Just looked up while the brain was working!"

More times than not, it's the simple "What?!"...accompanied by the movement of whatever he was doing from his reach.

Don't get me wrong--I'm glad he asks.  But the automatic response is that very human "must be about ME" response.
Funny that his is about HIS need to change/do something....and mine was about blowing the other person into smithereens cuz they were worthless piles of dog doo.
Welcome to the wonderful world of ego-manics with touches of an inferiority complex.  You just blow up those around you that YOU think have that 'better than you' going on.  Problem solved!

Oh.....not he-who's-beyond-neurotic.
He's going to do the changing so you'll be pleased and love him.
Ummmmm.....HELLO?!

NOT MY JOB.

Yes...I'm clear it's a 'hands off' deal--the Big Guy's made that abundantly clear to me.  And frankly, I adore that.  It's made loving he-who's-beyond-neurotic .......simple.  Easy.  Effortless work!!!

WHY he sweats it--is because he-who's-neurotic has forgotten the deal.
I reminded him of 'the deal' this week.....
No--he'd not forgotten...sort of..maybe...a tad...  (G-d love his neurotic little self!)
Easy enough to do with all the noise and hype and circumstances going on around him/me/us.
Gee....go figure.
I'm reminding HIM of the deal and getting whacked along side of the head at the same time.

SHUSH Mel.


Which is why today I'm setting "the rules" in this relationship to black and white.
For ME.  And I'm gifting it in a prominent place.  If he reaps rewards from it......great!

What a cute project, eh?

Your JOB is to love how you've always wanted TO love.

Write your own expectations. 
Critique your own performance.
Give yourself your own 'corrective work plan', if you must.

But love how you've always wanted TO love.


*laughing*  I'm pretty sure if I put that into book form...it'd never sell.
But boy--in our relationship--amazing things happen when we simply do what we wanna do in the loving department-- and STAY OUT OF THE OTHER PERSON'S WAY.

Fairy Wisdom

Absolute Honesty

Both with ourselves and with others, in word, deed, and thought.

Absolute Unselfishness

To be willing, wherever possible, to help others who need our help.

Absolute Love

You shall love the Lord with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. And. . . you shall love your neighbor as yourself.

Absolute Purity

Purity of mind, of body, and of purpose.

wow...

Betcha knew today was Saturday.
Betcha knew it was Saturday ALL DAY.
Betcha didn't go through the WHOLE DAY thinking it was......Sunday....

Computers.
Cell phones.
Little Kindley thingies.
They apparently ALL show the date AND day.

Ummm.....

k...blaming THIS on the sensible shoes too.  Not sure how to connect the two, but where there's a will---

It Matters......

Sleeping with Dreams

"It matters to this one"--

I can hear that ending line of the 'starfish' story day in, day out.  It's a constant reminder to me that it MATTERS....every time..... all the time.... Not that I need a whole lot of reminders.  There's this 'ever present' push in me that makes it ALL matter right now.  I'm like to chalk that up to simply the 'practice' to gain some comfortability in just letting things LOOK like they matter as much as they do.  The truth is,  it's always been paramount and I've let the noise and the hype and the bustle of life get more of my attention than the participants in it.

How horribly human of me to allow that the noise to get my attention.....  I'd beg off any responsibility for that--but I know the bottom line.  My 'intentions' don't mean squat.  It's good to have a passionate heart, but when your ego is body-guarding it....really?!  Thanks for 'caring'.  (yes, that's said with dripping sarcasm...)

One day an old man was walking along the beach. It was low tide, and the sand was littered with thousands of stranded starfish that the water had carried in and then left behind. The man began walking very carefully so as not to step on any of the beautiful creatures. Since the animals still seemed to be alive, he considered picking some of them up and putting them back in the water, where they could resume their lives.

The man knew the starfish would die if left on the beach's dry sand but he reasoned that he could not possibly help them all, so he chose to do nothing and continued walking.

Soon afterward, the man came upon a small child on the beach who was frantically throwing one starfish after another back into the sea. The old man stopped and asked the child, "What are you doing?"

"I'm saving the starfish," the child replied.

"Why waste your time?... There are so many you can't save them all so what does is matter?" argued the man.

Without hesitation, the child picked up another starfish and tossed the starfish back into the water... 

"It matters to this one," the child explained.

It matters to this one.

I shall persist in letting He-who-knows-I-have-an-ego get in my way.  Seriously--that's what I pray for, that G-d gets in the way of my ego so I can make good on that opportunity, one more time, to ensure others know they matter.....that they understand they're worth it, every time......all the time.

I don't delude myself with how that'll be perceived, taken or used at that moment in time.
I know my responses when it was getting put out there in my direction......"yeah right.....give it up old man--like anyone really gives a flying ****...."
I know when I started to believe.
And even then I questioned and discounted and tried to desperately talk myself out of daring to believe....

Today, I'm able to rest in that truth.

Talk about G-d working overtime..

So....no matter what the response, no matter what the circumstances.....say it (don't undo it), keep moving.
Cuz it matters.

And just so you know....  Lest there be doubt to remove...YOU--matter to this one.

Dare to Have Joy:

*  reading a BOOK on the Kindle thingy.....that was kinda FUN!
*  settling into the couch in my office--ohhhh my that was nice...
*  the smile on the boss' face when I hugged him (yes....HUGGED him!)
*  meatloaf making for he-who's-been-doing-everything (he LIKES meatloaf.....LOL)
*  the muffled silence with the newly fallen snow
*  putting the stamp on another letter, and another, and another!  :-)

Today's Reading

How we treat other people comes back to us – always.

Offering others understanding and compassion changes how we perceive the world around us on a daily basis. Our acts of love inspire love from others. What we send out to the people who share our path changes, ever so subtly, the complexion of each life we touch. In fact, the whole world is changed by even the tiniest of acts.

The simple truth is, our own attitudes often determine what kind of experiences we'll have. Anger and resentment won't bring us peace. Suspicion and accusation will backfire. Most of us have tried to control all the people and all the experiences in our lives. And we have failed. Now we are realizing that the love that comes back to us is the love that we express.

I will feel love today from at least one person if I offer it to many.

*snickering*

Uh huh........

Well, that was fun......

I went in to work yesterday for a few hours.  NOT working, work--the going IN to work....it was merely to, once again, get in there to gain confidence that I CAN get in there......when I finally have permission to go in there--which will hopefully be within a few weeks.  (good grief it's been 11 weeks.....)

The boss said I could.....but he also said 'we won't tell'.  LOL  I assured him that *I* would cuz I don't want anyone getting into trouble for having my little self showing up at the worksite.
I got coffee.
I got to be a part of a meeting.
I got home before the snow started.

AND the boss told me I 'looked more confident'.

I'm thinking it was the stupid sensible shoes...........

JUST sayin'.......

Dare to Have Joy:

*  Ooohhh.....so many books, so little time!  LOL
*  Bitty stickers  :-)
*  "When will you be coming back to work" questions
*  Meatloaf......LOL  TRUE!
*  being inside when the wind is howling

Reading for the Day

Getting people to like you is merely the other side of liking them.
--Norman Vincent Peale

What does it mean to like other people? It means giving respect and attention to their opinions and perspectives on life. It means respecting their feelings, attitudes, and values without passing judgment or trying to control them. Clearly and simply, liking others means letting them be who they are and celebrating their individuality.

Openly expressing fondness for a friend is affirming for both people. Our expressions are gifts that will multiply for us when we've been honest and unselfish, free from ulterior motives.

We all want to be liked. And we've heard many times that to have a friend, one must be a friend. It's a formula that takes only a simple decision each time we share with another.

Agelessness

7(+)" predicted....

I saw a robin!


I SAW A ROBIN!!!!



OH Boy .....is HE in for a shock.........

Fairy Reminder

Courage and Patience

There are times when the "poor me" mood strikes us all. We complain that things are not better. We bemoan our sorry lot in life. We condemn ourselves and others for not meeting our expectations.

What can we do when these destructive emotions engulf us? First, we can realize that our "self-pity" is often the result of comparing ourselves with others or to some unrealistic standard of perfection that we think we "should" have reached and have not.

What we need to do at times like these is take a fresh look at ourselves and our circumstances. We must evaluate ourselves in relation to ourselves, and avoid comparisons with others.

When we view our progress honestly and clearly, in comparison to our own past performances and our own present conditions, we get a better perspective on the strides we have made. Seeing our growth, we can patiently bear our current frustrations because we have overcome our previous struggles and disillusionments.

Today I am in competition with no one. I shall seek to better myself by growing beyond where I am. I will be patient with myself and take small steps. I will not expect perfection overnight.

Two things.....and a three year old

No weight.
Lock when standing.

TWO things I have to remember at all times.

Yeah, well.....I have the 'no weight' deal down pretty good!
NO weight.
Rest the foot on the floor do the fake standing bit.

And then.......there's 'lock and load'.
Yeah, well...notsomuch 100% on the 'lock and load' bit.  Seems I stand up at least once a day without locking the darn thing.
And this morning--instead of the 'allowed' 90 degrees one side was set for 150 degrees.  I thought the darn thing was wearing funny....  *shrugs*

I went to stand this morning and there was this.....white thingy headbandy thingy that was attached to the crutches.  He-who-knows(!) decided a bit of a 'reminder' would be a good idea.  Yeah--considering I swore and sat back down.....I'd say it did it's job.

Oh, but I saw the BUG!!
"I haven't seen Nana since I was three years old!" she told her mom.  It worked!  She's soooooo good!  Mom brought her over for the afternoon and she opened prezzies! (yes.....we finally got to give her prezzies from December!...oy...)

And she was very, very good.  Followed behind me with her hands out "I will catch you, Nana." as I crutched from point A to point B.
The little booger drug out every toy from her little stash (along with the new toys) and picked 'em up, too.  Mighta been with help from Grandad--but still!  She brought cookies for Grandad to colour--"Nana's 'lergic, grandad--come colour with me so we can eat cookies."  AND she showed grandad how baby cows drink milk from their mommy cows. (He was needing the education, apparently.....LOL)

We snuggled and hugged and laughed and played.
And then they left.

And then they hit a car on the way home.

AUGHHHHH!
No one was hurt, thank goodness.  Bit of a fender bender but all is well.

Bug called to let me know her cows didn't get hurt and it was 'okay'.
Nobody "had braces", dontchaknow.....

Robo Mel

Fairy Reminder

Love must be learned, and learned again and again; there is no end to it. Hate needs no instruction, but only waits to be provoked.

--Katherine Anne Porter

We often enter into our relationships believing there is one perfect way to act, and if we can only find that way, we'll be successful, accepted. But there is no such thing as one best way to be with another person. The wonder of any relationship is that it involves two imperfect people.

Believing that perfection will ensure love is skewed thinking. Love is a gift that must be given freely, there is nothing we can do to control someone else's choice to love us or not love us. All we can do is our part by learning each day to love as best we can. It may be difficult to find within ourselves such qualities as emotional maturity, separateness, honesty, forgiveness, patience, and self-respect. But those are the very qualities we must cultivate to love someone else.

It can be frightening to trust another person enough to take risks and let go of the outcome. But love is a risk that's worth it.

I am learning that I don't need to be perfect to be accepted and loved by others. I'm also learning that I don't need to expect perfection from others to love and accept them.

I'll have you know....

....that today is National Chocolate Mint Day.
I know this  because it's on the calendar in  kitchen.
I put it on the calendar.

FUN things to celebrate, according to Mel.
Sounds like good fun, eh?
WOULD BE if there as anything in this house that resembled chocolate or mint...or even chocolate mint ... A York peppermint patty even?
Nope.
Nuffin'....

That's it.
A trip to the grocery store!!
It's on the calendar.
Definitely a required celebration!
Ohhhhh...mint chocolate chip ice cream maybe.
Or mocha mint cappuccinos even!!

Suspending Cold

TFTD

Wise ones tell us to be true to ourselves. Being true to ourselves means daring to disagree with a loved one, even when we know it might cause painful tension. It means refusing to go along with the group's plans if our values are being ignored. It means standing alone, if necessary, in our family of origin if their expectations of us no longer nurture our growth.

I can be calm and centered today if situations get tense. My "inner self" will take my hand and give me the words I need.

Fairy Dust

I am not afraid of storms, for they teach me how to sail my ship.

Down on the Farm

Fairy Diddy

It can be nice to remember the past and to dream about the future. Yet the time in which you actually live, in which you can make a real, positive difference, is now.

If you intend to make something happen, you must make the effort now. This, right now, is the time you have, so make full and effective use of it while it’s here.

Whoa.....

I have a new prezzie.
And I have some learning to do.

I think I fare well on a keyboard, but one finger pecking on a Kindle thingy is going to take practice, practice, practice!!

Ohhhhh.....but it is a cool wee thingy!!!

I'm spoiled and like it.

:-)

Ohhhh
...cool new prezzie!!

Incoming, outgoing and in process

Treading Water with the Bread

Going on an adventure or two.  Finding sensible shoes (yes, I whined about those suckers--and I still lament that heels won't happen....yet..)  Watching trains from the backseat of a Jeep.  Snow flying and icing the world around outside.  Cards from people in far away places.  Love letters and an abundance of warmth and acceptance right where my feet are--these are things to celebrate and wrap my heart in.  Creating and making a bigger squirrels nest... I've no doubt that I've been graced with a multitude of things in the past week.  Getting a bath, for goodness sakes--HUGE delicacy that I've indulged in because it's availed to me, today.  I know these things are considered 'small' by some--but in the circumstances I'd measure them totally different.  Funny how that happens....

And then there's the 'say it (don't undo it) and keep moving'.  

Valentine's Day is such a lovely excuse to be loving....to let people know they matter to you.  It's an easy thing to hide behind--a circumstance that only encourages what I've been trying to practice, day in day out.  Now, I'm pretty sure that Valentine's Day wasn't established years ago JUST for making life easier for little ol' me. LOL (though at times I DO convince myself of such grandeur! )  But really, it's been one of those ideal circumstances placed in front of me that I've taken full advantage of.  Apparently it happened all over the place.  LOL  I'm hopeful everyone's taken advantage of it to speak your heart's truth.

The focus this week in living the dream is making sure you're actually following through on the dream that you've embarked on with your Maker.  Ummm.....oops?  LOL Today,  I'm a 'just DO it' kinda gal.  Spending five weeks talking about DOING something is really something I was good at 'once upon a time'.  I find myself getting impatient with others who want to talk something to death, plan what implementation is going to look like, troubleshoot potential barriers....and waste time trying to predict instead of just jumping in the deep end of the pool and trusting that you have what it takes to SWIM.  Toss me in--I'll deal with the mouth full of water once it's full.WPIML knows this--and nurtured this in me, truth be told.  I'm a quick thinker, a good talker AND an accomplished procrastinator.  If he had to choose which best served me and others--TOSS ME IN THE POOL.

Discipline.  Now, I know tossing me in doesn't look like discipline.  It looks utterly insane--drowning could happen.  And it's not all circumstances in which shoving me in the deep end is the answer.  Sometimes it IS plan-full and deliberate and well thought through and deliberated.  But there's that NIKE time (JUST DO IT!) that always gets to happen.  And a check point to see that I'm still swimming, that I've grabbed onto the life preserver if a 'rest' is required...and a team of two (or more) cheering me on to get to swimming when 'rest' isn't conducive.  (sometimes I don't see how close to the pool's edge I am when I'm flailing and trying to tread water.)  But even in that deep end, there's the discipline of talking to me (good ol' self talk!) and others, of looking at what's working and what's not...of keeping my eye on the goal and straightening my course so I'm getting to that designated 'place'.  

And there are times to just 'float' and breathe.....I trust that G-d has me covered .  

I think that's why I'm already in the pool.  

Well, that and I could talk things to death and back without ever DOING....I AM an accomplished talker.

I'm IN the pool!

The water's not bad, quite frankly. 

And I've got enough spectators cheering me on that the swim is actually been rather....pleasant. (I say this but  need to include that 'pleasant' doesn't mean 'comfortable'.)  It's that 'don't undo it' that snags me and makes me splash around and lose the momentum of the swim.  But I'm treading water just the same--undoing the undo.  LOL  And making sure folks know.  Cuz that's what I'm purposed to do.  

And the ripples from that pool....(much like the splash I made when I was shoved in)-- huge.

TFTD

Every one of us who is trying to be a better person is like the sculptor. We envision who we want to be and what kind of qualities we believe in. Some of these qualities might be kindness, good self-esteem, the ability to love and feel loved. If we are honest, we must also look with the artist's eye at our faults. We might see some jealousy and resentment, or feelings of superiority. Our faults, human as they are, are like unwanted marble that keeps our most loving selves from taking shape. Carving away at our faults is hard work, and sometimes-even hurts. Yet we do not do this work alone.  What pieces do I need to chisel away today?

Slip Slidin' Away

Acting As If 

The behavior we call "acting as if" can be a powerful tool. Acting as if is a way to practice the positive. It's a positive form of pretending. It's a tool we use to get ourselves unstuck. It's a tool we make a conscious decision to use.

Acting as if can be helpful when a feeling begins to control us. We make a conscious decision to act as if we feel fine and are going to be fine.

When a problem plagues us, acting as if can help us get unstuck. We act as if the problem will be or already is solved, so we can go on with our life.

Often, acting as if we are detached will set the stage for detachment to come in and take over when detachment is needed.

There are many areas where acting as if - combined with other principles - will set the stage for the reality we desire. We can act as if we love ourselves, until we actually do begin to care for ourselves. We can act as if we have a right to say no, until we believe we do.

We don't pretend we have enough money to cover a check. We don't pretend an abusive person isn't being abusive. We use acting as if as part of our life to set the stage for our new behaviors. We force ourselves through positive behaviors, disregarding our doubts and fears, until our feelings have time to catch up with reality.

Acting as if is a positive way to overcome fears, doubts, and low self-esteem. We do not have to lie; we do not have to be dishonest with ourselves. We open up to the positive possibilities of the future, instead of limiting the future by today's feelings and circumstances.

Acting as if helps us get past shaky ground and into solid territory.

N.O.W.

There's a problem in this house.

*looks around*
It becomes my problem....and it ain't MY problem.

"UHoh.....wanna add sugar to the shopping list?"

*poof!!*  Donning a coat and headed to the grocery store.

"When you're up next--can you bring me a cuppa coffee?"

*poof!!* Laptop put on the floor....coffee retrieved.

"I think the birdies are hungry--they're outta birdie food...."

*poof!!*  Book gets set down--outside birdie feeding happens!

Right.  IF you say it--it's gonna happen in record speed, NOW.
So........I tried waiting.

"Why didn't you say something?"

k.....
I tried getting un-situated, lock the brace, fumble with the crutches... and crutch my way to retrieve what's retrievable courtesy of one hand.

"You just need to tell me what you need and I'll get it, really."

k.....
I tried NOT NEEDING A DARN THING.

"Would you like me to bring your card making things into the livingroom?"

AUGHHHHH!!!!!

No!  No.  *smile*  I'd like you to relax and just remain LIT for longer than ten minutes instead of running around like a madman trying to take care of everything NOW and then..... wonder why you're so weary.

"Oh.  Am I doing that?"

YA THINK?

"So.....Would you like me to get you a cup of coffee?"

*sigh*

Tonight we're trying an experiment!  I'm holding him captive in the recliner for periods of 30 minutes.  THEN he can fetch me a cuppa coffee, feed the birdies, change the laundry, bring me new glue sticks, make popcorn -- whatEVER.

Right.....

He'll have to bring me the mousey timer FIRST, of course.  :-/

Ice Wave

Fairy Wisdom for the Day

“The people who are hardest to love usually need love the most. Outer prickles mask inner pain and sadness. Love the prickles out of people by seeing beyond the annoyance to the hurt inner child that is crying out for some care and understanding.”

Sensible Shoes?!

I have sensible shoes.

I don't LIKE sensible shoes.
Fact is, I got stuffed sideways in the Jeep and we were only blocks from the store when I suggested that perhaps the sensible shoes needed to go back from whence they cometh.
Yeah, well......they're IN the box in the livingroom.

Apparently I NEED sensible shoes "and that's that"!

C'mon.....I wear heels.  At least 2" heels.
Yes, that puts me at darn near six foot--I WEAR HEELS and I LIKE IT.
Only, I'm very clear, given I've been wearing fuzzy slippery lookin' shoes that don't 'zackly GO with skirts and dresses..........they ain't gonna work.  And it ain't cuz they don't 'zackly GO with my attire...it's cuz the physician wants me in shoes of the non-heel type.
Me.....non-heels.....  Ummmmm.......ewwww?

And ......Seriously.
FIRST time out of the house for an activity--AN ACTIVITY--and I come home with sensible shoes?!

Nonono...  That's not all I came home with, I did get a papery cuttery thingie that he-who-knows-what-I-need decided I MUST have....(must be all the card making I have goin' on right now....) but--  FIRST time out of the house in NINE WEEKS for something not related to work or physicians...and we went shopping?!
SHOPPING.
I'm not a fan of shopping.
And I went shopping?
Ewww.

And I came home with S.E.N.S.I.B.L.E. shoes.
They're in the box still.
I'm thinkin' they need to go back and I need FUNKY sensible shoes--ones with polka dots or stripes or stars or glitter......

NOW we're talkin' MY kinda shoe.

YESISEETHEHEEL.  

:-P  

Pfffffffftttttt!!!

Daily Reading from the Fairy

By enjoying who you are, you bring out the best you can be. When you enjoy what you’re doing, what you’re doing will create great value.

When you find something to truly enjoy about where you are, you also find new and rewarding possibilities. By enjoying the moment you’re in, you bring unique richness to your life.

It’s not the situation itself that determines whether or not life is enjoyable. It’s the way you choose to respond to the situation.

Enjoyment is not a certain, pre-defined set of circumstances. Enjoyment is a choice.

The more conditions you put on your enjoyment of life, the less time you’ll spend experiencing enjoyment. Instead of weighing down your enjoyment with arbitrary conditions, set it free by making it unconditional.

Enjoy life, wherever you are and whatever you’re doing, just because you can. Enjoy life as it is, and your enjoyment makes it better and better.

Sleeping....with Dreams......

It's not that the week hasn't been 'full'.  I've found great joys in the simple-est of things.  It's not that there've not been moments in the past week that have made my heart hurt. I've grown to be somewhat sensitive to the pain in the world.  It's that the joys, which I continue to focus on, point me in the direction of what's 'right' and 'loving'.  And the more I  set my eyes on those things, the more my heart sings.  No, I don't always 'like' what happens around me.  And I don't get to be an ostrich and stick my head in the sand--but I have a passion and a desire to bring TO the lives of others.  Staying stuck, like a duck, in the muck--isn't serving anyone.  Say it, keep moving.

So that makes the 'more of this/less of that' a tad obvious.  Leastwise it does to me.  And I know a good chunk of that 'say no to ______' is the whining and carrying on I do when I truly am willing and don't really mind the 'YES!!'.  There's also times I mind the 'YES' and I just need to 'say it and keep moving'.

Those little marching orders are huge for me.  They pop into my brain a bazillion times during the course of the day.

I've no doubt WPIML knew the impact of those wee words, the need to keep it simple, the catchiness that has far reaching effects .....He's smart like that.  And I'm not in charge of his marching orders....which is another plus in the whole deal.

Say it.  (don't undo it)  Keep moving.

It's the little things that are huge.  

And this week has been filled with them.  

From the smiles in the letters being posted to the hugs in the livingroom--and the dance in the kitchen.  *laughing*  

Choosing joy and simply shushing up and just DOING it has given more than it's taken from me.  And frankly, what's BEEN taken, needed surrendered.

More of that.....less of the ego filled permission to whine and mope and complain and do nothing to share the 'YOU MATTER' in my heart.  

The dance in the kitchen sealed it for me.  Notsomuch that I am where I need to be to dance in the check-out line at WalMart.  *laughing*  I can't even GET to WalMart at this point--but isn't that a lousy excuse to not dance?

Oh, I won't give up the whining.  *laughing*  But I won't surrender to it either.  I can say it and keep moving.

YOU MATTER.  What you do--how you feel--what you think.....who you ARE in the lives of others and in the eyes of The Great Creator--MATTERS.  You matter to me.

Oh yes.......again........

I have a whole box of cards already made.

But does that stop me?!

OHhhhh nooooo.

If some are good--more, of course, is better.

And that cleared out little squirrels nest in the livingroom?

Yeah....notsomuch cleared out any more....

But that's not an all bad thing.

When the wind's howling and the falling slush has turned the world into a skating rink for the healthy two legged of the world.....what the heck, why not!

And it's February so letters are being posted.

And really, that box of cards in the waiting has come in handy more times than I can count.

Yes, Mel--you've rationalized out the need to purchase a second box to put the growing pile of newly made cards in.

WELL done!

*rolling eyes*

Oh....but they are cute when they're finished.

When you're outta paper that inspires (yeah.....notsomuch outta paper--just paper that inspires!) you're forced to look around to decide what can become the next card.

Which TOTALLY explains why he-who-was-hugging-his-book...was hugging his book and staying outta range of my evil little grasp!

*laughing!*

Dare to Have Joy:

*  the wee 'mess' I have goin' on in the livingroom
*  the shiny world outside that reflects grayness--amazing, even so
*  the wee bottle of seashells on the desk--I can smell the sea....

TFTD

To practice five things under all circumstances constitutes perfect virtue; these five are gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness, and kindness. 

--Confucius

Some of us were raised to decline generosity - to argue over who pays the restaurant bill, not to accept money for helping someone out, not to accept food or drink at someone's home. Some of these beliefs have strong cultural ties. Others are just a fear of imposing. We don't want to be a bother.

Generosity is a two-way street. It's just as important for someone to be generous as it is to accept the offerings. Most of us like to be generous. When we're being genuine, from the heart, with no strings attached, being generous makes us feel good -- it makes us feel great. We have no reason to deny others that feeling (unless, of course, there are strings attached). In fact, our own generosity is probably just coming back to us.

Today I will allow others the opportunity to be generous.

Quilt Barn #59 (in process)

Another reading.....

It is not fair to ask of others what you, are not willing to do yourself.

-- Eleanor Roosevelt

Equality is a state of mind. When we value our own self-worth, we are comfortable with the achievements and the well-being of our friends and associates. The symptoms of a punctured ego occur when we criticize others and make demands we don't want to fulfill ourselves.

Most of us experience wavering self-confidence on occasion. It may haunt us when a big task faces us. Or it may visit us when we least expect it. It's a facet of the human condition to sometimes lack self-assurance. At times we need to remember that life is purposeful, and the events involving us are by design.

Almost daily we'll face situations we fear are more than we can handle, and we'll hope to pass the task off to another. It's well for us to remember that we're never given a task for which we're not prepared. Nor should we pass on to others those activities we need to experience personally if our growth is to be complete.

I must do my own growing today. If I ask others to do what I should do, I'll not fulfill my part of life's bargain.

Ummmmmm......

Letter writing.
Card making.
Puzzle assembling.
Moving from point A to point B on occasion.
Watching ice form.

That's the answer when I got asked how I was spending my day yesterday.

Did I know it was Sunday today?
Notsomuch.

I think today I'll work on dusting this joint.
Take a little bag with dusting spray and stuff...and make my way around the livingroom.

Seriously....he-who-does-everything is doing the best he can with the cooking and laundry and picking up and picking out and bringing to and walking with and bringing to again and vacuuming here and running errands for this...and and and...  The poor thing.  Literally--he's doing everything.

Oh, but I have managed to stand on crutches to do dishes!  A few times......  Darn few.  
Dusting isn't high on the list of priorities.  LOL Nor should it have been.  Probably isn't high on the list of priorities still.  But it's helpful and doable.

*laughing*  All I need is a bag and the dusting stuff.....and for him to fetch it all for me.
*laughing!*

Solace

More Fairy Stuff

The best way to achieve balance is to make an earnest commitment to give every area of your life some part of your attention every day.  

Each day has 24 hours and, it is up to you to schedule those hours in a way that honors every part of you in your quest to achieve balance.  

Your mind, body, spirit, loved ones and interests need your attention if they are to thrive.  

Work, play, nourishment and rest must all be considered.  

What things are necessary, unnecessary, productive, unproductive and prudent must be the guidelines used to determine where you put your energy and attention at any given time. 

 Sure, there will be days when some things seem more important than others. 

 Absolutely there will be times when some things and people demand more of you than others.  

 It is wise to make these demands the exception rather than the rule.   

Balance requires a commitment, constant monitoring and a conscious plan. 

 Balance is possible and, the more you live in balance the easier and more desirable your life becomes.

Fairy Dusting

Confidence, like art, never comes from having all the answers; 

it comes from being open to all the questions.