Learnin'.....

Corrie hates math.

You gotta know how secretly elated she was when she somehow got missed for a math class.
One of the teachers snagged me a couple weeks ago and asked me if there was a reason Corrie wasn't in a math class and I had to admit it was an 'oops!' kinda deal.
My mistake.....
And I got about the business of getting with the principal, fanniggling the schedules/class sizes and entering into class late into the quarter.
Ta da!! Corrie is now in a math class!

She......is NOT elated, of course.
She's whining and angry and piffy about all this. Oh BOY is she piffy about the math class!
She's right on some accounts, of course.
She's gonna struggle with the class cuz she hates it in the first place.....and now she's utterly and horribly 'lost' with what they're doing cuz she's going into class in the middle of a unit, having no clue. The class is a quarter of the way into their semester....and she's behind even though she's just started.

Yesterday she asked me if she HAD to take the class--she carried on about 'not getting it' and 'starting late' and 'feeling stupid' cuz she doesn't understand it at all.
All those things are true, I'm sure.
She wanted no part of admitting she LIKED being 'forgotten' for a math class.
She wanted no part of a solution, of course....'cept the only solution SHE saw as comfy--pull her outta math and don't demand that she do something she's not good at or comfortable with!

Smartie me....
If ya knew it there'd really be no need to BE in math class, learning it. This is why we GO to math class--to learn that which we don't know.


Thinkin' I'll be dealing with Corrie's piffiness for a while.
Thinkin' I'll be making arrangements for a math tutor, too.

Thinkin' I needed to hear what came outta my mouth as much as she needed to hear it....

Absolute conspiracy

It's been a week of half days and limited work time.
I suppose that's been the 'responsible' choice, give that I did a weeks worth of sick, dehydrated myself and landed up in the ER plugged into IV's.
Ask if I particularly wanna be responsible? Nah, don't.....that answer is obvious.

I'm a bit tired of working days, lounging around during the nights and taking repeated meals of chicken noodle soup.........with a random cracker or two, tossed in for good measure.
Oh.....and let's NOT forget the water with electrolytes and vitamins tossed in!
It's more than a bit tiring, I must say.
I'm even tired of listening to mySELF kvetch and carry on.
I'd just as soon be 'all better now!'....but apparently, I'm not.
Up at five, down by ten......this is not my norm, to say the least.

More than anything, I'd like some taste of normalcy, though I've heard normalcy is overrated.

The boss rang me today to ask how I was doing. It was all I could do to not call him a traitorous fanniggler!
Talk with my staff and then send me an email telling ME to work half days for the week to get my feet under me, will ya...... Rawwwrrr.....

It's ALL a conspiracy, I tell ya.
Yup.
Someone gave me this flu so I'd get stuck using my vacation time while I was sick IN the dead of winter instead of traipsing off to some wonderful vacation spot come summertime.

Oh my.....LOL....I think I'm still a tad cranky about all this......LOL

In time, fairy....in time....

We are sturdy yet fragile beings.

Sometimes, we need time to get prepared, time to ready ourselves to cope.

We do not let go of our need to deny by beating ourselves into acceptance; we let go of our need to deny by allowing ourselves to become safe and strong enough to cope with the truth.

We will do this, when the time is right.

We do not need to punish ourselves for having denied reality; we need only love ourselves into safety and strength so that each day we are better equipped to face and deal with the truth.

We will face and deal with reality - on our own time schedule, when we are ready, and in our Higher Power's timing.

We do not have to accept chastisement from anyone, including ourselves, for this schedule.

We will know what we need to know, when it's time to know it.

The a.m. 'body'

I AM the early morning 'body'.

Guess ya gotta be known for somethin'....LOL

Really, I AM the early morning 'body'.
If I have a day staff person ring in sick or snowbound--whodayacall......ME! :-)
And I show up lickety split.....seeings how I'm minutes away from work, this isn't a huge ordeal.

I'm the early morning 'body'....and my two 'partners in crime' are the late night 'bodies'.
If there's a kiddo crisis late at night, they stick around to ensure that all is well for the kiddo.

This is one of those 'silent contract' thingies.
It's always been that way--mostly cuz I am minutes away from the worksite. That was 'required' when I moved to this little corner of the world--the founders of the program had to live within close proximity to the worksite. Very practical when you're opening a new program and there's kinks that need to be ironed out at all hours of the day/night.

I'm the early morning 'body'.
When there's no school cuz of inservice days for the teachers--I show up and the kiddos give me wide berth while the coffee's brewing (occassionally the wiser ones will put on the pot before I show up....LOL). 25 kiddos out of school for the day.....extra body IS required.
When there's snow days....I'm the extra body!

We've had seven......SEVEN snow days this month.
Wait.
Seven snow days and one inservice day for the teachers.
That makes eight......eight days the kiddos have been forced to contend with my presence.
Add six more days when I had day time staff who've been snowed in and couldn't get to work.
That's 14 days that the poor kiddos have had to deal with me IN THE MORNING, with limited amounts of caffeine in my system.

FOURTEEN.
Now, considering there's five days in the week that they go to school.....that's half the month!

Small wonder they whoop and cheer when the teachers actually show up and school is ON for the day.
I've never seen 25 kiddos so happy to go to school in my LIFE!
ROFL

Stolen (thank you, kiki!)

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.

It turns what we have into enough, and more.

It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity….

It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events.

Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.

~Melodie Beattie

And the fairy says......

How easily we slip into self-doubt, fearing we're incapable or unlovable, perhaps both.

How common for us to look into the faces of our friends and lovers in search of affirmation and love.

Our alienation from ourselves, from one another, from God's Spirit which exists everywhere causes our discontent.

It is our discontent.

When souls touch, love is born, love of self and love of the other.

Our aloneness exists when we create barriers that keep us separate from our friends, our family.

Only we can reach over or around the barriers to offer love, to receive love.

Risking to offer love before receiving it will free us from the continual search for love in the faces of others.

I won't wait to be loved today.

I will love someone else, fully.

Another TFTD

I have never for one instant seen clearly within myself. How then would you have me judge the deeds of others?--Maurice Maeterlinck

We have been given the job of getting to know ourselves and dealing with our own stuff.

We aren't so good at it that we have spare time and energy left to make judgments about those around us.

We are tempted to become absorbed in their behavior and choices, and it does feel like a welcome distraction from anxieties about ourselves.

Let's remember though--that while we are very close, we are on separate paths in life.
We will make our family or our friendships and the world a little bit better by staying centered on our own sanity, our own journey.

The bathroom's sticky note.....

I......have a slight attitude problem.

.....k......that's probably an understatement.

I wanna blame the circumstances--and I know they don't decide my attitude---I DO.

Himself is a bit worried....go figure, Mr. Neurotic thinks it's all about himhimhim.
Very little, if any, has to do with him.


"You're not a happy bunny, are you...."


Ummmmmmm......nope--but that's all about me and not about YOU.

Nope, not a happy bunny....
I wanna say "gimme sunshine and a working body and outside time and sidewalk chalk and less stuff at work and more stuff to do with adventures...." but truth is, the circumstances aren't the problem.

Oh, where oh where has that sticky note gone?!
Ah yes......on the mirror in the bathroom:

You ARE looking at the problem!


*sigh*

ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT, please.....

It's not the circumstances, Mel.
It's you and your stinky attitude!

TFTD

Sometimes things happen just as you expected they would, and then there are times when nothing goes the way you had it planned.

In any event, there is a way to respond triumphantly.

Learn to see the value no matter what outer conditions and circumstances may be concealing it.

Know that there is value, and you will find it.

QOTW 2/24

Who would you like to trade places with today?

FOUL!

Unfair question to ask a woman who's been sick for a week straight!

ANYONE who's able to get out and about and not toss their cookies?

*muttering*

Any other time I'da said NOone!

Today, however, I'd make the exception.

BUT........!!!!!!

I got super cool cookies from Lasairiona when she came visiting! I won't eat 'em....they're too dang cute TO eat!

AND I got duckie bubbles to put in the bathtub.
:-)

Life ain't all about toilets....LOL

......rawr?.......

k.........I've been cooped up in this house, bonding with the toilet for TOO LONG.

We're talkin' near a weeks worth of uckiness.
Go into work......get nauseous and leave.
Go into work the next day---get nauseous---leave.
Go into work the following day.... (yep, you guessed it......)

I've officially dehydrated myself--hence the bruises on the arm and the bottle of antioxidant water with vitamins and electrolytes on the coffee table.
(apparently coffee doesn't count--whadda doctor's know, anyway!)
I managed a 'stand up fall down' moment at work BEFORE that was determined....and ended up scaring grownups and kiddos alike....
WHICH resulted in an email AND a phone call from my boss who said "Thou shalt NOT show up at the worksite until thou feel-est BETTER".
(rightfully so........ain't cool to scare kiddos and grownups.....ain't cool to stand up and fall down under any circumstances......)

It's been ......a week.
And we're into the weekend.........
And I'm tired of this!

How come when I get somethin' I can't get it 'small'?

........rawr?.......
*sigh*

TFTD

I want to dance always, to be good and not evil, and, when it is all over, not to have the feeling that I might have done better.--Ruth St. Denis

Roll 'em!

I got a gentle reminder this morning when I went hopping around during morning coffee.
(yep......visiting fine folks with a cuppa coffee in hand---'have coffee, will travel'!)

I placed a camera in the hallway at the worksite, onceuponatime.
Wanna see a bunch of professional people freak out? LOL It was rather entertaining, actually.
People were suddenly a bit spooked about doing their job.
The kiddos were much more 'okay' with it than the adults were!
But the kiddos weren't gonna be critiqued....and they knew that.
The staff were concerned they were gonna be......and all I was asking was that they critiqued themselves.
HUGE undertakin'--and we're 'professionals'. LOL

I frequently tell people 'the camera's rollin'....' in hopes of reminding the professional teams that there are 25 sets of eyes watching them.
It's simple.....don't say and not do cuz you won't have any credibility with those kiddos and they NEED credible people in their lives. They've had enough of the 'do as I say, not as I do' instructions...they need movers and shakers and people who deliver the goods.
They need people who truly want more for them, who believe in their greatness.

Interesting results came from that six hours with a camera in the hall.
Much more than I'd hoped for, I might add......but I shouldn't have been surprised, I work with a bunch of amazing people.

The cameras rollin' folks......

A fine Friday dusting.....

Look beyond the noisy, superficial distractions and remember the miracles.

Live your life around the values in your heart.

Somethings you're just not suppose to capture...

Like free spirits...

...and beautiful full eclipses.....

Cold as it is......

I, still, like the view.

(kinda miss her, too......but don't tell......) ;-)

This, by the way--is the view from work's parking lot....if you look over and between piles of snow...LOL

TFTD

Not only do lies deceive others, they keep us hidden from ourselves.

Lies make our real reasons for the choices we've made seem unworthy.

Better that we be truthful, even if a little pain results.

....ughhhh.....

We're doing the flu over here.
Shoulda known that would happen...it's going around at work and I've avoided it for a few weeks.
I was getting a bit cocky about it (go figure)....that'll teach me.


And yup.....that's a WE.
As in two of us.
Both of us.

AT the same time.

Yeah, yeah.....sorta been here before....
Back to back flu is one thing.
Racing for bathrooms and having competition for it is another thing.

The good news is we have two bathrooms and we've agree which belongs to whom.

The bad news is one of 'em is downstairs.
And (just for the record) that one ain't mine! :-D

Decisions, decisions little fairy.....

We are seldom aware of the gravity of a particular choice at the time of making it.

Only hindsight reveals the wisdom of an important choice.

Nevertheless, no choice is without importance in the overall picture of our lives.

And at the same time, no choice is all-powerful regarding our destiny.

We are offered chances again and again for making the right choices, the ones that will most contribute to the bigger plan for our lives.

QOTW 2/18

What's on your night stand?

k.... There's a stack of books. (It's getting shorter, honest!) It's only there because the bookcases are full..... Oh boy, are they full. The weather's been a little helpful in making that stack get shorter. I no longer worry about the stack toppling on my head. LOL

k.......there's an alarm clock. Why, I don't know.....other than it tells me the current time (plus 15 minutes cuz it's set ahead.....and I know it's set ahead so that makes no sense.......).

Ummmmm......there's a lamp thingy sitting on top of a glass octagon filled with shells and rocks and driftwood and a plastic starfish sand form makin' thingy. Yeah, I keep the weirdest stuff, huh?

There's the Nightlight reading book--the one I read before going nite-nite......the one that gets dropped on the floor, tossed out the bedroom door (if my aim's good---sometimes it bounces off the wall and makes a right racket....) or shoved under the bed on a regular basis. Somehow it always ends up back on the nightstand. Hmmmmmmmm......

There's a bookmark my sister sent me with a bitty starfish on it. It's suppose to mark the page in that reading book---I don't wanna break it...LOL This is why it's on the nightstand instead of in the book.

There's a cellphone charger cord.
I'm saying NO more about that and you can't make me.

There's $27.52.
*swipes the money*

:-D

Todays thought.....

It's not about being right; it's about allowing ourselves to be who we are and accepting others as they are.

This concept can be difficult for those of us that functioned on the "right/wrong" justice scale.

The person who was right was okay; the person who was wrong was shamed.

All value and worth may have depended on being right; to be wrong meant annihilation of self and self-esteem.

We are learning to strive for love in our relationships, not superiority.

We do not need to justify taking care of ourselves by condemning someone else.

We can avoid the trap of focusing on others instead of ourselves.

We are learning that what we do needs to be right only for us.

What others do is their business and needs to be right only for them.
It's tempting to rest in the superiority of being right and in analyzing other people's motives and actions...

I don't have to hide behind being right.

I don't have to justify what I want and need with saying something is "right" or "wrong."

I can let myself be who I am.

Petal

Ohhhhhh....the weather outside is frightful

Here's a surprise......

It's snowing!
(again......)

Ah, that's right!

This IS Iowa.
And it IS winter.

And the fairy says......

The strongest confidence is quiet, inner confidence.
The surest sign of inherent weakness and lack of confidence is the need to boast.

Practice humility and what you will build is confidence.
The less you care about impressing others, the more impressed they will be.

Be honest and authentic, and your confidence will grow.
The more fully you realize that there's no need to hide who you are, the more confident you'll become in every endeavor.

Approach each task with understanding and patience.
Don't let arrogance infect your attitude, for arrogance is a feeble imitation of confidence that drives real confidence away.

Know where you are going and why.

True confidence flows naturally from a clear sense of purpose.

....untouchable......

When I get angry, I do stupid shit.
There's no other way to put it....I really do stupid shit.
Eventually I say things to shove people the other direction.
Eventually, I try to make 'em 'unlove' me.

I put this emotional distance between me and the other person/persons.
Most of the times it's not even noticeable--til it's huge and it comes across as emotional distancing. By then I'm not inches away---I'm vast crevasses away, standing alone, convinced that I LIKE it that way and it oughta/needs to be that way....that somehow it's the 'right' thing to do. So pffffffffffffft on anyone who tries to tell me different.....

I don't like 'acting as if' I'm emotionally close to people, knowing I'm across the crevasse already and half gloating that I moved and nobody noticed but me. 'Half gloating'....there's an accurate, sick kinda description of it.......don't 'like' it but gloating cuz I pulled it off without getting caught?

Kinda nice over on the crevasse, though....untouchable by the closeness, no guilt attached, smug in the knowledge that I'm over here and they're over there.....

*waving*
Hellooooooooo over there......you can't touch me!
Nah nah nah nah nahhhhhh nah!


Oh.....that's probably really accurate.
Can't nobody touch me, over there....nobody...nothin'......

T(s)FTD

Shame-filled people feel that something is wrong at their very core. It is a sense of being bad . . .--Susan Kwiecien

Nobody is rotten to the core.

If we have done something wrong, we must apologize and make amends.

Making a mistake is not the same as being worthless.

Mistakes are a natural part of living, not something to be ashamed of.

Our freedom to make mistakes is one of our greatest assets, for this is the way we learn humility, persistence, courage to take risks, and better ways of doing things.

All of us are valuable and lovable.

There is no rulebook.

We don't have to make ourselves crazy; we don't have to be so afraid.

We don't have to do anything perfectly.

If it feels like we need to do a particular action, we can do it.

If no action feels timely or inspired, don't act on it.

Having and setting healthy limits - growing and learning - isn't a tidy process.

We can give ourselves permission to experiment, to make mistakes, to learn, to grow.

We can talk to people, ask questions, and question ourselves.

If there's something we need to do or learn, it will become apparent.

Lessons don't go away.

Things will work out.

The way will become clear.

Woooooohoooooooo!!

It's Friday, it's Friday, it's FRIDAY!!!!!

*doing happy dance and spinning in circles*

(k......not really--cuz I'm a gimp at the moment......)

YIPPEE for Friday!!!!!!!!!

I failed to mention......

My visit to the oncologist came courtesy of the 'Sweetie' doctor.
Seems he thought he should notify Dr. Neo-Nazi cuz he'd treated me for the hamstring thingy......
NOT kosher.....(LOL....oh, I made a funny!)

*makes note to self to insist on revoking the rights to exchange medical information between the two of those fellas*

And yup....hamstring was confirmed by Dr. Neo-Nazi who wanted to wrench the leg around in similar fashion to Dr. 'Sweetie'.
Coulda SWORE I went there to go over test results....
*muttering*

I've spent THREE days stayin' off my feet (well, mostly......'cept for the goings in and out and up and down that are required to show up for work...and a few that weren't 'required' but I did just the same cuz I was aggitated.....).
....k.......so I'm a lousey patient!

But it needs to go AWAY now.....cuz it's REALLY, REALLY gettin' on my nerves....

*grumbling and slapping on another ice pack*





Oh wait!
Ohhhhhmmmmmmmmmm......

I'm suppose to be experiencing the peace of just 'letting it BE'....
*muttering*
Ohhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmm.....

TFTD

Instead of thinking ahead to what might or might not come next, pay attention to the richness of what is now.

Instead of re-fighting past battles in your mind, open yourself to the treasure that is in front of you.

A miracle is unfolding right before your eyes. In the big picture and in the smallest of details, this very moment holds everything you could possibly need or desire.
This moment does not care how old you are, how much money you have, or what your hair looks like.

Its treasures and possibilities are yours to experience no matter what.
Everything is as it is right now, and there is an immeasurable sense of peace in letting it be.

Ooohhhmmmmmm......

*thinkin' that's suppose to be some peacefilled chant*

Ohhhhhmmmmm....

Right.
I actually made the appointment today (good thing--there's a snowstorm headed in for tomorrow).

And the doc said:
Test results were elevated from what they were months earlier and he wanted to do a bone marrow aspiration, for his own peace of mind and for mine.

He's not convinced it's 'bad'--this is why he ordered the aspiration......cuz he likes to be sure. Sometimes tests lie. (so we've experienced multiple times.......)
And I've been able to sustain a higher number of blasts than the average human being (more proof of my alien-ness, maybe?) without it going out of control and needing some form of treatment.
Though, come to think of it..he did give me a spiel about oral medications which he might consider IF he's uncomfortable with the marrow test. (which isn't the norm for him--had to wonder if he was a bit 'off' today cuz of that......or, could be it was a case of 'too much information too fast' -- I get 'hearing impared' when I'm a tad overwhelmed.......)

But I don't need to put the cart before the horse (so said the doc).
First things first--get the results back from this test and 'come back so we can go over the results'.
(I'm thinkin' no one told him about the pending snowstorm!)

I'm sure it's all good.
If it's not all good--it's REALLY screwed up from how it usually works in this body....

*thinkin' I want a new body*

Ooooohhhhhmmmmmmmm....

Troubles of my own making

Be truthful, do what you know is right, put forth effort when it is called for, persist.....

Boy......sounds simple, huh?
Sounds RIGHT...sounds simple..... And oh, so difficult to do. I know that.
Obviously, there are times when I'm better at it....and times when I suck at it.
This would be one of those 'sucking at it' times.

Be truthful, do what you know is right, put forth effort when it is called for...persist......

I got a call from the oncologist's office and they want to see me, today....apparently they're not particularly concerned that I'll be having to miss work and all the scheduled meetings I have today to do that. Fine.

Be truthful.
Do what you know is RIGHT.
Put forth the effort when it is called for.

Suit up, show up......tell the truth.
k....

And don't borrow troubles.

And don't create more by lying again.

That would mean stepping out of the lies I've already told, to tell the truth NOW.
*sigh*
I am the creator of my own troubles.
Leastwise THIS trouble is of my own making....
When I don't USE what I know works......I'm 'doing it' to myself.
Plain and simple.

k.....I'll go but it's gonna be a longggggg ride over there.
Ya don't suppose I could leave my brain at home, do ya?



Dangitall.....

Oh boy.......

It takes strength to do what must be done when the work is unpleasant and uncomfortable.

It takes strength to persist in the face of obstacles, when it would be much easier to simply give up.

It takes strength to be polite to someone when that person has been rude to you.

It takes strength to be truthful when a lie would be more convenient.


It takes strength to resist temptations and distractions.

It takes strength to do what is right.

It takes strength to make an effort when it would be easier to make up an excuse.


Be truthful, do what you know is right, put forth effort when it is called for, persist, and the more you do so, the more easily you'll be able to do so.

TFTD

I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live up to the light I have.--Abraham Lincoln

It is not crucial that we always be right, only that we be honest.

We do not have to be winners or high achievers so much as we have to be real human beings.

Conquest is not as important as connection.

We do not always have to compare ourselves and be better than the next guy.

We can exchange......... and appreciate.

Yep. MOON sand......

You squish it and smoosh it and stuff it in mold thingies... AND it doesn't dry out.
AND you can get it in colours and everything!
AND it feels really, really funny so you laugh alot when you're smooshing and squishing....

AND.......

I can make COWS and FENCES and BARNS!

:-)

(yeah, yeah......g'head......laugh. Secretly, I know you wanna smoosh and squish, too! LOL)

'Sweetie'......*gak*

Right.

We had school on Friday--I think. I SEEM to remember seeing the teachers....
Now, we didn't have school on Wednesday or Thursday, thanks to the 14 inches of snow and craziness with it blowing all over the place...
Yep.....we DID have school on Friday! I remember the kiddos being THRILLED to go and get away from me. LOL

No school today.....blowing/drifting snow....
AND we're getting upwards to 6 inches tonight with winds.
I'm thinkin'....no school again tomorrow.

The roads were icky today. I'll give 'em that. I'll also give 'em that if this keeps up, the kiddos will be going to school til mid-June!

*sigh*
Roads were icky.......so the appointment got cancelled.
Yes---AGAIN.
But I was referred to the physician in town for, what I thought was a twisted/sprained knee.

Yep.....the double fisted doer of shots in the rearend doc saw me.
The good news--I didn't deck him. It was close, though.
NOT cuz he took my foot and knee and twisted and shoved--though, I must say that did NOT feel good AT ALL.
He kept calling me 'sweetie'......ME....
Ummmmmm.....I don't ever remember him referring to me as 'sweetie' before.....ever.
And I'm pretty convinced he won't be callin' me 'sweetie' again. (think he took note on the chart, truth be told....)

"This is gonna hurt, sweetie....I know, I'm sorry.....hang in there....."

Doc--gotta tell ya, you keep this up and I'm gonna deck ya.....

"I know, sweetie....it hurts and I'm sorry for that....."

Not as much as YOU'RE gonna hurt if you keep callin' me 'sweetie'.......

Yup.

ON the chart, I'm convinced....
The good news is.....it's not my knee.
Hamstring, apparently.
It went 'pop' twice whilest he was calling me 'sweetie' and wrenching my leg around.

The bad news?
He 'suggested' I stay off of the leg for a couple days and befriend ice, take anti inflamnatories and see if that doesn't help make it much more doable to walk on it.
A couple days....*sigh*
I did ring into work and let them know I'd be needing that office chair with wheels in case there wasn't school and everyone got snowed out.......again......


They told me they'd tossed it in the trash.
The little liars.....


Methinks they're just trying to MAKE me take a couple days from work....

It was 'suggested'....not ordered.
:-)

That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!

Mel's reality..... ;-)

Welcome to this gloriously flawed and wonderfully imperfect day! (OH YIPPEE SKIPPY!! *muttering* I can hardly WAIT!) (obviously needing MORE COFFEE.....and less fairy reminders.......*muttering*)

You probably will not have an opportunity to save the whole world today. (thank GOODNESS for that...my calendar is chalked full of STUFF that needs done today--there's no room for 'saving the world'. LOL Oh, wait.....I think I can squeeze that in between 3-4 IF I can be quick about it!)

But you can surely brighten your own corner of it. (*reminder to self* Buy 60 watt flamey lookin' lightbulb for the dining room--more than one cuz when one goes, several go!)

Most likely you will not get everything done that you had wanted to do. (okay.........between 3-4, since saving the world isn't gonna happen, I can work in the year-to-date financials I've failed to get done......or.....I could NOT do 'em, close the office door and play with my Moon Sand!---that'd be funner!)

Yet you can definitely make some real and lasting progress. (Right.....*penciling in Moon Sand for 3:00!)

The people with whom you come in contact may not all appreciate or understand you. (RIGHT! C'mon......it would take a whole LIFETIME to come to some 'understanding' about Mel...LOL....expecting that to happen would be silliness.....)

Still, you can have a positive effect on some of those lives. (NOPE---NOT sharing the Moon Sand and you can't make me! I know that trick......ain't workin'.........)

The events of this day are not all going to proceed according to your plans. (*alerting the news media* Extra extra--read all about it....the world isn't going according to Mel's plans!! Gee....why would I be willing to save the world if it's not going to cooperate and be understanding and appreciative?! Hmmmmmmmph! Ungrateful world.....*muttering*)

Even so, you can create value from whatever comes your way. (Create value......right. Thinking that means take back the bag of returnable bottles we have sitting in the garage.....k...maybe not....LOL....)

Chances are that conditions will not be perfect and circumstances will not be ideal. (Chances are......'cause I wear a silly grin......the moment you come into view......Chances are you think that I'm in love with you......Just because my composure sort of slips.....The moment that your lips meet mine......Chances are you think my heart's your Valentine.......)

Fortunately, there is much you can do with whatever you have. (In the magic of moonlight....When I sigh, "Hold me close, dear,"...Chances are you believe the stars ....That fill the skies are in my eyes......Guess you feel you'll always be...The one and only one for me...And, if you think you could...Well, chances are your chances are awfully good....In the magic of moonlight.....When I sigh, "Hold me close, dear,"......Chances are you believe the stars ..That fill the skies are in my eyes....Guess you feel you'll always be....The one and only one for me....And, if you think you could.....Well, chances are your chances are awfully good.........)

Fairy reality..LOL

Welcome to this gloriously flawed and wonderfully imperfect day!

You probably will not have an opportunity to save the whole world today.

But you can surely brighten your own corner of it.

Most likely you will not get everything done that you had wanted to do.

Yet you can definitely make some real and lasting progress.

The people with whom you come in contact may not all appreciate or understand you.

Still, you can have a positive effect on some of those lives.

The events of this day are not all going to proceed according to your plans.

Even so, you can create value from whatever comes your way.
Chances are that conditions will not be perfect and circumstances will not be ideal.
Fortunately, there is much you can do with whatever you have.

QOTW 2/10

Let's put it out on the table...
....what's on your mind today?

Well---at this very moment in time......

"What the HECK did you do to your knee? Really, it's not suppose to hurt every time you stand up and try to move. And you look really STUPID hobblin' around like some peg-legged pirate trying to avoid pain where there shouldn't BE any pain! And of COURSE it couldn't be the GOOD knee that hurts....HAS to be the bum one....great...just GREAT.... Sheeeeeshhhhh..... You were just going down the stairs with the vacuum cleaner, for cryingoutloud...it's not like this is the very first time you've ever taken the vacuum cleaner downstairs--you've never ended up with a screwed up knee BEFORE! Good grief.....like I need another stupid thing to be wrong or remind me that 'you're not as young as you used to be Mel'. Thanks a whole lot....like I LIKE to be limping around with my knee wrapped up in some stupid ace bandage. I HAVE STUFF TO DO. Sitting around with some 'owie' is NOT my idea of a good plan! Stupid knee.....stupid stairs.... Geeze, I hate when something screws with my plans. And this.......definitely screws with my plans. MAKE IT BETTER BY TOMORROW......or else......"

*sigh*

My knee hurts.
I mean it REALLY hurts.......

........dangitall.......

ROFL

I'm suuuuuuuch a whiner!

Weary....

It's been hard, the last half of this week.

Wednesday and Thursday dumped 14 inches of snow on us.
Absolutely stunning, the drifts and the mounds of snow that surround the streets....we're well over 50 inches of snow in the past thirty days.
Snow means roads aren't passable--which means Mel shows up early in the morning for work cuz Mel is one of the few people at the worksited who reside in the bitty town we're located in.
And Mel, when folks can't travel the roads to GET to work, is one who remains--all day, all evening.....but thank goodness (and thank the few who pity me....LOL), not overnight!

I love snowdays--we have minimal staff working with the kiddos and we have 'get 'em up and put 'em to bed' days.
They're my favorite.

I had two in a row.
14 inches of snow with blowing and drifting......yep.....I had two days, back to back--14 hours long.
Hard stuff for an old woman like me. LOL

Worthwhile stuff--
Good stuff happened in those two 14 hour days.
Hard stuff happened in those two 14 hour days.
Life changing stuff happened in those two 14 hour days.
Not just for the kiddos......but for me.
Lots of tears were shed.
Lots of truths were told.
Lots of fears were tossed out on the table.
And a few hearts can no longer deny that, really.....what you do--MATTERS.


Oh, I do 14 hour days on a regular basis.
That's not a rarity--it's not the norm.

But it well and truly amazes me (once again) how, in two 14 hour days, whole lives were changed......

Please, please, please......
Never, ever let me underestimate the power of showing up.

...a moment of sunset....

Yep.....freed the fairies....

Instead of focusing so intently on what you can get, consider what you can let go.
Lighten your load and become more peaceful and powerful.

There's nothing you must have in order to be.
Devote some of your life to simply being, and know the liberation that comes.

Remember that fulfillment is knowing the freedom to be all that you are.

Up periscope!

Awwwwwwww.......I couldn't resist.

Ain't he a cute little booger?

*chuckling*

Yeah, right....

The same cute little booger that steals Mr. Cardinal's food......and rips off the corn from the holder to tote it over to the neighbours house......

k.....he's still cute....LOL

Up and att'em

Enough of the whining and carrying on (I'm reserving that for later today when I'm out, trying to move the 16 inches of snow they're 'suggesting' we'll get.....it's only up to ten--they could be wrong....please?).

And just so ya know......This morning's reading fairy wanted to talk with me about long term happiness versus short term gratification.
She's in the bathroom cupboard at the moment......next to the Q-tips.
I'm sure she's content rummaging through the goodies in there.
Hopefully she'll decide to spruce it up in there.
I think I convinced myself since the door closed, the messiness doesn't count.
*shrugs*




Oh......and ummmmmm.... there's another reading fairy in the refridgerator.
I was trying to be 'open minded' while I was waiting for the second pot to finish brewing.
SHE wanted to talk with me about healthy pride and not so healthy pride---I was okay with that.....until she made it about letting people HELP you.
She's now in the butter compartment thingy on the door.





And she's happy about it, I'm sure.
Fairies are into long term happiness.

I, on the other hand, am into a second pot of coffee, 10 inches of the 'suggested snow fall amounts' and short term, immediate gratification.

I'm ALMOST tempted to look at another fairy reminder.
Nahhhhhh.....
I'll time it and see how long it takes himself to 'free the fairies'. LOL
That'll be delayed gratification, right? :-D

Excuse me while I whine.....

*not laughing--definitely NOT laughing*

Right!

So, responsible person that I am--even when I don't WANNA be--drove this morning to go to a clinical meeting.
No biggie--Tuesday's are clinical meetings.
Figured I'd tough out the storm they were forecasting cuz the RESPONSIBLE thing to do would be to shut up and show up and just pull up my big girl panties and get on with it.....even if I didn't wanna.

Meeting ended at two--the appointment was for three......and as I'm getting out the door, walking out INTO the snow to get to the appointment......the nurse rings to let me know the doc has cancelled the afternoon appointments.

Right.
I get to call tomorrow to reschedule.......again......
'Course, I'm smart enough to know the predicted, overnight foot of snow=no WAY will I make an appointment tomorrow. *sigh*
Snow forecasted for Thursday AGAIN.....and Friday--I have a whole host of stuff I have to attend to (LORD knows what the weather'll be doing Friday...haven't even bothered to look......*sigh*)

It really would be funny, were I not already doing the "I don't WANNA be responsible" tantrum.
It's not funny.

Cuz really--I don't wanna be responsible.
I get to be responsible for a lot today--the staff who work for me, the program I run, the kiddos and families--the court and the probation officers who look to me for answers and help......and that's just the WORK part of my life.
Toss on the several people that I sponsor, himself who's incapacitated and 'suffering' as he heals from the shoulder operation, the financial responsibilities, the emotional responsibilities, the physical responsibilities....the list goes on and on and on..... GIMME A BREAK already!

I don't have time to be sick.
I don't have the energy to be sick.
I don't have the time OR energy to do what I need to do on top of doing what I haffta do to get all this added 'ishy stuff' in order.
I have too much stuff to attend to and too many responsibilities AS IS.

(yes, I'm whining....and g'head and ask what I'll willingly give up so I'm less 'overloaded'....and I'd whine about 'give 'em up to WHO?'.....I am my own worst enemy. I swear.....)

k........
Yep. Definitely whining.
Definitely feeling like it's on the edge of 'meltdown'--that stop the world, I'm gonna be a puddle of ICK for a few minutes material.
A few minutes, mind you.
I have too many things I'm responsible for to give myself the luxury of more than a few minutes!

*sigh*

Yep.
WHINING!!

(and grumbling, too, dangit!)

Round two.....

All's well...
REALLY!
(well.......'cept for this huge urge to avoid and run away....LOL) (fight, flight or freeze...that's ME!)

And the appointment was rescheduled for today.
Lemme laugh about that.
Cuz really.......I shoulda scheduled it for June!

Yep.....yet another snowstorm headed this direction, complete with thundersnow.
Appointment's at three--storm to hit around noon.
I'd ring to change it to earlier--but there's mountains I have to do this morning that simply won't wait. (that's my story and I'm stickin' to it.......)

*shaking head*
What's up with that?!

*sigh*
And hows come I can never talk test results on the phone---EVER.......
*muttering*
Stupid weather......stupid doctors.....
Stupid overactive brain...

*sigh*

(stupid fairies......LOL)

The fairy's point is.....

There will always be a reason to give up, and there will always be a reason to keep going. The question is, which reason will you choose to focus upon?

Your troubles will get the best of you if you give all your time and attention to them. But you always have another choice.
You can give your attention to the positive possibilities.

You can choose to focus upon what's right with life.
There is something you can do in this very moment to create a little bit of positive value in your world.

Though it may not seem like much, just one small positive action can have an enormous impact.

Even the smallest step has a clear and unmistakable direction.

When you choose to take action, you choose to take control.
Don't allow your life to be defined by the difficulties that come your way.

Hazardous driving....

School's delayed.
Now, normally, that's not a huge deal to me--it means I'll get to see the kiddos at the worksite and PLAY! (which makes for a happy me!)

Today it means the freezing rain on the roads are making travel......icky and dangerous.
Oh, how I love a challenge...LOL. Actually, bad weather driving is a pretty null and void issue. Snow....ummmmm...this IS Iowa and we get it. Learn to drive on it or become a hermit for five months. I can do 'hermit' quite easily...meets MY need to have limited contact with earthlings. LOL However, I 'get to' be 'responsible' and I am a workin' person!

Freezing rain this morning--roads are mostly covered.
I don't care how many 'wheel drives' you have--ice is ice is ice and a 4 wheel drive can slide off the curve JUST as easily as a front wheel drive, as an 18 wheeler......
(oh, don't I just SOUND pragmatic and responsible...LOL)

No leaving town this morning.
And this morning is an appointment with the doc.
Or........this morning was SUPPOSE to be an appointment with the doc.
Test results and all that good stuff.......

So.......responsible or avoidant?
*checking*




YEP!



*sigh*

QOTW 2/4

Whose opinions do you trust/value the most? Significant other’s? Parent’s? Friends?

Does it sound wishy washy to say 'different people for different opinions on different things'?

Probably--however, that's still my answer. LOL

I have a difficult time asking people for opinions if they've no knowledge/no experience base to pull the opinion from. Seems like a set up. (for them and for me..)

Opinions about how to live a disciplined, different life today--I'll go to wisepersoninmylife. (there's a prime example!) I have a whole LOT of regard for his opinions on that kinda stuff.

His opinion on what to do with tax refund money, however...LOL......not so much! (that'd be IF I'd earned a tax refund--which sadly looks not to be the case, dangitall!)

Amongst those on the most valued list:

#1 Wisepersoninmylife

#2 Wisepersoninmylife

Himself

The Sister

Friend #2

Dr. Neo-Nazi (LOL....yes, he knows this is what I call him)

Friend #7

Oh, g'head and ask about Friend #1, 3, 4, 5, and 6.......they're invisible, dontchaknow!

( and I don't ask frequently their opinions--though we DO have some lovely chats! )
;-)

*chuckling*

Yaknow, sadly, there's truth in that! LOL

k..........

When we begin to take our failures non-seriously, it means we are ceasing to be afraid of them. It is of immense importance to learn to laugh at ourselves.--Katherine Mansfield

When we no longer fear failure, we are free to attempt greater feats.

We dare to learn more, and life is fuller--not just our own lives, but the lives that we touch.

Tired fingers......

Todays visit--cancelled......

Well, pfooey.......*sigh*

Wisepersoninmylife was gonna come visit today--snow's preventing the journey.
That's good....cuz he doesn't need to be driving in all this.....gunk.
That's bad cuz we probably needed to be having a candid conversation about 'stuff'.
k......that's not a 'probably'....

It's not all bad--I can ring him and have a chat with distance between us meanin' I don't get whapped on the head for thinkin' too much!
He'll be asking G-d to remove my brain again--I can just feel it comin'.


*sigh*
Snow.
Again.

*going to dig out the quilt to work on*
"Idle hands" and all that jazz.....

:-)

How do you go ahead and take action when you don't feel like it?
Set your feelings aside and do what needs to be done.
How do you move toward your dream when you don't think you can do it?
Set your thinking aside and follow your heart.
Thoughts and feelings are powerful and extremely useful, but they do not have to control you.

You can control you.