A box of thoughts........

There are two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
Albert Einstein



Every once in a while I open the box and carry around the little card that shows up on the top--it's a random thing.......(not disciplined like the character asset chips for stepwork....ugh...LOL)

Good card!
I'm thinking the reading fairies have worked their way into the world wide web!

Halloween has arrived!!

*chuckling*
And you'd think I'd be tearing through the house getting myself ready to show up all gussied up for the celebration of the day!!

Actually, I'm enjoying a cuppa coffee (there's a surprise!) and I just got done with a brief, but 'meaningful' chat with wisepersoninmylife.........I rang him to just say 'thank you'.

Yeah, yeah.......every once in a while I get these sentimental moments when I get to look backwards at the places I've been.
This moment was brought to me by a blog I stumbled across this morning--more like I 'nosed myself into', being the nosy Nellie that I am....And I left a comment--which sparked the sentimental moment:

"There's a whole collection of hats in a box here--keeping company the bandanna's that covered my head. I don't have 'bad hair days' today. Granted, the hair came back straighter than a board and reddish blonde--used to be auburn and curlier than all get out.It's hair, it's mine, and I smile when I go to tame it in the morning.Funny how losing it gives perspective on having it, eh?"

It mutated from there into a call to wisepersoninmylife #1:

"I just called to thank you"
"Whaddi donow....." (NOT the most happy fella early in the morning. LOL)

"Nothin'..........I just got a good reminder of the places we've been.......and I wanted to thank you for being present for me during all that."
"Right. 'zat it?"
(I chuckled--he takes this stuff just about as well as I do.)

"Nah........that's not it........Have I told you lately that I just plain LIKE you?"
"...........so thats why you called me an 'asshole' the other night............cuz you LIKE me...."
"It's a term of endearment."

"Right."

GEEZE he makes it tough to just be kindly to him some moments. LOL (note how I make it all about HIMHIMHIM!!)
"Seriously though....thanks for walking with me through some really crappy moments."
"...........yourewelcome?"

"Go have a good day, will ya?"
"Zatit? This is why you rang the asshole?"

"Sheeeeshhhh--ya know, I meant what I said the other night with the utmost love and affection....."
"....uh huh.........."
"And you really can be an asshole some moments......."
"....yep..........."
"And I really AM grateful for having you in my life............."
".....asshole that I am.........."
"Asshole that you are.......... Why do I get the sense that you're wanting an apology for that asshole remark?"
".....should I get an apology for that?"

Oy.........
"Fine. I'm sorry for calling you an asshole."
"Thanks! I appreciate that!"

"Wait a minute! I called to thank you for walking me through some really rough times!"
"Yeah, but I'm an asshole and I wanted the apology first....."

*shaking head*
I got off the phone dumber for having had that conversation, I swear. LOL
But I know what it's about--cuz he can be like that............asshole that he is..........LOL
Bit like me--slow on the mark to accept that I've touched someone's life for the good and uneasy with taking any credit for the impact that I might make for the GOOD.
I'm used to impacting people for the bad.......LOL I can shoulder the blame pretty darn good. Cuz I am responsible for adversely affecting a whole lot of lives.
Give me 'credit' for the good--- and I'm running the other direction.

All the blame and none of the glory.
The glory wouldn't be mine, dontchaknow......wisepersoninmylife taught me that one very well.

Yep..........the asshole taught me well!! LOL
And no, I'm not going to apologize for calling him that AGAIN--I said it with the utmost love and affection. Hmmmmmmmmph!

Have Antlers, will travel!!

Imagine getting to sit around the tables with a bunch of professionally stuffy kinda folks. LOL
Honestly, they're nice people in their own right. They're just---well, PROFESSIONAL. And I have a meeting with those fine folks tomorrow....

Okay......now let's look at this objectively. *sigh*

There's my boss (whom I'm in great conflict with at this given moment in time--oops?)--he's a whooping great fella that oughta scare the pants off of any sane human being.
Let us not forget that I'm not quite a 'human being'. LOL

And there's six other folks (and me and him) that make up the administrative team.
Two of them are ladder climbers that would love my boss' job. Who'd WANT it! PASS! I don't relate to ladder climbing--I relate to walking under ladders and pushing my luck!
One is a gal who toots her own horn every freaking chance she gets which makes me nutzoid--I'm guessing that says a whole lot about her self esteem and my level of tolerance/acceptance! *sigh*
There's one person that I genuinely respect.....she's very knowledgeable, very plain spoken and just says what's true for her kiddos and the staff who work with them. (that oughta shore up how it is I respect her!)
And the two others--dunno what planet they're from OR on, but I'm glad that the teletransporter only beams them into shared space with me once a week!

(Yeah, yeah......love and tolerance of others IS our code and best I get on with it!!)

Tuesday meetings are 'interesting' to say the least. There's conflict and arguing and challenging and all sorts of silliness that can happen in very short order.
I shake my head a whole lot some moments......and wonder just HOW this constitutes the leadership for children and families who don't 'function' well. LOL Hello??!!

Not that I'm the epitome of leadership--I've been known to tantrum a time or two myself. I try to do that privately and at opportune moments....LOL and keep my cooperative self available for moments such as the administrative team meeting.
I do have a goal to "improve my ability to play well with others" FOR A REASON.
I think it's progressing nicely.

Tomorrow--is Halloween.
(I'll hold off on the YIPPEEs for later! LOL)

I have the day off.
I also know enough to show up to the administrative meeting cuz it's one of those 'required' things....... I need to be there--even if I don't WANT to be there. I have a responsibility TO be there. (oh boy oh joy oh happy day! LOL)

BUT--
I'm going with my antlers on......and nobody's stopping me!

And I'm bringing treats!
*nodding*
AND they're gonna be happy and play NICE!

And NOone---I repeat--NOONE will be messing with me.
OR with my antlers.
Uh huh.........I think it'll work perfectly.
I may not be a big fella like my boss is--but I do know how to act menacing!
I've practiced that...LOL.....a lot! LOLOL
I'm SURE I'll be TWICE as effective with those antlers on my head.
:-\

Score for the reading fairies!

I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure -- try to please everybody. --Herbert Bayard Swope

Principles are rules or codes of conduct we set for ourselves; like being honest, striving to be on time, and taking responsibility for expenses. It is up to us to abide by these principles.

When we compromise a principle for someone else's benefit, we jeopardize the strength of that principle and its importance to us. If we want to be honest, then lying to cover up another's actions compromises that principle. If we want to be on time and someone makes demands that cause us to arrive late, we have compromised ourselves and let someone else's desire dominate.

We need to set certain standards for ourselves and abide by them, even if another person will not be pleased. To let principles trump over the demands and desires of another is a victory for our inner peace.
If we are true to ourselves, we will learn we can count on ourselves no matter what.

Worthy of repeating TWICE:

I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure -- try to please everybody. --Herbert Bayard Swope

We done GOOD!!!

I distinctly recall asking the pumpkins we picked out if they minded being our Jack-o-lanterns. *nodding* So they were willing volunteers, justsoyaknow!
Guts. LOL No Halloween would be complete without pumpkin guts!
I can't say himself was fond of this part. I coulda offered to gut the volunteers. *snickering*
I did not.

Now, how awesome are THEY, I ask?
(no, I didn't do the 'welcome' pumpkin--but I'm thinkin' anyone coulda guessed that.)
But I DID do the spidery guy. :-) I was toothpick prepared JUST in case I chopped off one of the spidery guy's legs. Woohooooo.....He has all eight!
And we have four awesome jack-o-lanterns!

Not bad, eh?
I mean, not bad for US--considering he'd never done jack-o-lanterns til I showed up in his life.

We were admiring them before we put them outside and I told him indoors that "we done GOOD!"

"We bloody well DID!"
:-)

LOL I think that means he agrees?

TWO days!! Woooooohooo!!

Can you say 'pumpkin carving'?

:-)

TWO DAY til Halloween!! Wooooooooohoooooooo!!!

AND I've taken the day off.
Not that I won't work Tuesday--cuz I will. I have multiple meetings I've GOT to be at.
But the actual evening--I took off (generally it's my night to play with the kiddos and meet with them/familes that I can fanniggle some family time with).

*doing happy dance*
We're carving pumpkins today!!
(himself doesn't know this yet---but I'm about to retrieve the pumpkins from the garage and plonk 'em on the breakfast table.......)

:-)
*thinking*
Decisions, decisions.....what shall I do with my pumpkin......

QOTW 10/29

Name two ways that you show affection to others.

*chuckling*
Well, I was gonna say I don't 'whap' 'em. But that's not true.

I've been known to poke the Brit or bump him with my shoulder. Apparently I do this frequently. Kinda like a third grader who likes the little fella three desks down. LOL Obviously, I have some growing up left to do, huh?

And then there's the ever popular crawling under, over, around and through things. LOL Those "I want 'tention!!" moments.

Good grief--I AM developmentally thwarted!! LOL

Raisins and tapioca

I don't eat raisins.
There's a fact most folks don't know about me!!
Are ya feeling priviledged? LOL

I USED to eat raisins--until my loving sister told me how they were made. Bless her pea-pickin' heart!
That's all it took.......no more raisins---ever.

Don't even bother to reform me. It's not going to happen.

Now........ let's talk tapioca.
It'll be brief, I promise!

I've never been a lover of tapioca.
But congratulate him indoors--cuz he's managed to swear me off of it for the rest of my life.
No fooling.

Swallow--or hurl............it was up for grabs there for a moment.
But let me assure you--tapioca won't find it's way past my lips ever again.

"Did you know my mother always referred to tapioca as 'frog spawn'?"
He said it verrrrrrrrrry casually as he inspected it prior to putting it in his mouth.

Yep--that's all she wrote!

'Frog spawn' won't ever touch my lips again!
WITH or without raisins.

*swallowing hard and trying not to upchuck*
OMG.................................

"oops.........sorry?"

We will not be free from all difficulties today, or during any period of our lives.
But we have the personal power to eliminate the threat, the sting of any challenge.
It's our vision of circumstances that gives them their interpretation.

At this moment, we are defining our experience.
We are labeling events good or bad, valuable or meaningless.
And our growth, particularly this day, is greatly influenced by the value judgments we attach to our experiences.

As we grow we learn that all difficulties are truly opportunities for exceptional growth and increased awareness.
All experiences can be taken in stride if we are trustful of their intended blessing.

BACK to the power of the attitude and the judgements/value we place on the circumstances.

I'm pretty convinced the reading fairies have a plot to get me to accept what IS today.
I even changed the reading book to avoid airy-fairy readings like this. LOL

TRUTH is, I'm my own worst enemy.
Truth is........G-d's NEVER given me more than I could handle, even in times when *I* thought He'd confused me Wonderwoman!
I've come through the other side of circumstances--stronger and a bit wiser for the experience.

And that which does not kill me---doesn't kill me. LOL
(gotta love wisepersoninmylife for that one!)

I really do have a say so in how I'm looking at what's in front of me today.
Curse or blessing?
Gosh--more than once I shook my fist at the Big Guy and labled it a curse ONLY to have to go back to say "oops?......sorry?......." after more things were revealed.

I'm the one placing the value on what IS today. Undoubtedly a bit prematurely.
I'll be going back to do an "oops.....sorry!" because one more time I've whined and carried on and acted like I KNEW what was best for me.

*rolling eyes*

I really need to grow PAST this whiney stuff and get on to being a grown up about 'stuff', huh?

Nah.....LOL............what's the fun in that?!!

Guess Who's Coming To Dinner?

OH.
MY.
GOSH!!

This--was one honkin' BIG bird!
Yep--in our tree 'resting'.
Well, I'D like to think he was resting.
But supposedly they'll land near feeders to nab little unsuspecting birdies.....

BAD BIRD!! NAUGHTY BIRD!!!

But there he was--looking pretty......well, pretty BIG.

The Brit wanted to name him Captain Crunch (he's kinda vulgar like that...LOL)

I decided he just needed to go away before he made breakfast of our poor little junco's or the nuthatchery dudes.
I even made the Brit check for ....ummm......leftovers before I'd go fill the feeders. LOL
No leftovers!!

GOOD Sidney Hawk!!

Yep--SIDNEY.
I thought it fit him well.

;-)

Leadership dilemas

I can't decide if I want to whine or 'get over it'.

*thinking* LOL
I do have a choice, ya know.

Once again, I've decided it's way lonely doing what I do.
I think I wanna whine cuz I didn't ASK to do this......

I have all those eyes looking up--and those eyes looking down...and I'm smooshed in the middle. Of course, by virtue of the positions of those eyes looking up--THEY have eyes looking up at them as well--and looking down. So we're in the same freaking position.

Staff looking up at them, questioning. Bosses looking down at them, not answering--or not having answers TO give.
And there we be.
You'd think, being in the same uncomfortable position, that we'd (the supervisors) would be bonding and commisserating. LOL
NOT SO!!

Once again I discovered how 'alone' this position is--especially in times of change when folks don't have a lot of answers because they weren't given a lot of answers....and you have the same 'no answers' to give people looking up at you.

*waving from a very lonely place*
Hello........I'm feeling pretty darn alone here.

True--I've told my three key people to always know I'm that safe place to vomit up their concerns and angers so they can get that out of their system and move on to do what's in front of them.
So when they rip me to shreds with questions that I can't answer cuz there are no answers, and they stay angry......(seemingly not at the circumstances but with me) it feels dang lonely!

*sigh*
I didn't ask for the changes and I don't have the answers to how to implement the changes--NOone has those answers yet. LOL This isn't unusual for the profession, human services are always undergoing changes.....as are human beings, period.

I just don't like this 'alone' feeling.

Now--I can hope that by today the three have moved from that angry spot and into 'acceptance' and 'getting the job done'............cuz we're all there for the right reasons--but I'm thinking we're all mighty tired. (I know I am!)
If not.......well.....I'm thinkin' it's gonna be another lonely day at the office. LOL
Not boring mind you---just lonely!

Oy brother......
And all I REALLY wanna do is play with the kiddos.......

AFGOs

When we are in the midst of an experience, it is easy to forget that there is a Plan. Sometimes, all we can see is today.

If we were to watch only two minutes of the middle of a television program, it would make little sense. It would be a disconnected event.

If we were to watch a weaver sewing a tapestry for only a few moments, and focused on only a small piece of the work, it would not look beautiful. It would look like a few peculiar threads randomly placed.

How often we use that same, limited perspective to look at our life - especially when we are going through a difficult time.

We can learn to have perspective when we are going through those confusing, difficult learning times. When we are being pelted by events that make us feel, think, and question, we are in the midst of learning something important.

We can trust that something valuable is being worked out in us - even when things are difficult, even when we cannot get our bearings. Insight and clarity do not come until we have mastered our lesson.
~~~~~~~~
Yep--AFGO (Another Freaking Growth Opportunity)

I was hoping the fairies would whisper to me how FUN those moments can be if we just choose our attitudes.

They didn't....LOL

But, shoot--can I pretend I don't have clarity and insight so I don't have to USE what I know? LOLOL

Wisepersoninmylife tells me that "knowing and not doing is the same thing as not knowing".

Amnesia?
*nodding*
Someone/something could whap me on the head and I could, at least for today, not DO what I know.
That'd work!
I even think I could find a whole bunch of people to volunteer for the job. LOL

Arrghhh........

Serious nightmares.......
*sigh*

I don't remember dreams to begin with. The Brit always has a dream to share with me come morning time.
Me--none.

But I had one to share again--about three in the morning when I'm sitting on my pillow, refusing to go back to sleep. Second night in a row.......good grief.........
Someone had come up from behind and had grabbed me over the head with their fingers into my eyeballs-- and was pulling me backwards. Going back to sleep didn't seem like an option cuz I wasn't going back to it! Uh uh..........wasn't gonna happpen!!
*sigh*

Used to be I had a recurrent nightmare that played over and over and over again--but that was years back and long since has gone bye-bye.

THIS would be two nights in a row I've had some horrid moment that wakes me and leaves me sitting on my pillow, refusing to go back to sleep.
I'm blaming the codeine......
*sigh*
MAYBE I should blame it on the coffee himself rigged?

Sheeeeeeeshhhhhhh I hate pillow sitting at three a.m.

Deceived

I've been DECEIVED!

Dunno how I feel about it--'cept I know I'll seek revenge.....which is wrong. I'm suppose to practice 'forgiveness' and all that rot........errrr.....stuff. LOL
Don't MESS with my coffee if you want forgiveness!

Yep, himself messed with my coffee.

He's been extremely 'loving' and making that last cuppa java for us on that coffee press thingy he so loves. (ya know--the one that's too feaking complicated for the likes of simple folks like ME--stir 'gently' with a rubber spoon so you don't 'bruise' the coffee???!! HELLO?!! It's been GROUND UP, for goodness sakes. That's MORE than bruised if you ask me!)

For some reason, tonight's cuppa coffee really, really tasted good and hit the mark....so, being the loving 'er indoors that I am--I tell him so.

Of course this is the prime time for him indoors to confess that it's just about 1/4th genuine, caffeinated coffee and 3/4's decaffeinated gunk. Oh, and he's just put it in the '100% Columbian Coffee' cannister cuz he mixed it and had to pick one.....
Liarliarpantsonfire!!

"Well, are you sleeping better at night?"

NO!!!

"That's the codeine, no doubt. Less anxious?"

LESS anxious?!! NO! And tell me..........Just WHEN, pray tell, was I anxious to BEGIN with?!!!

"It's bound to be better for you, given all the coffee you consume during the course of a day."

Better for me? BETTER for me? Since when have I concerned myself with what's 'better for me'?
"Well, one of us must be concerned about it--or else one of us wouldn't have bothered to mix the coffee."

Ummmmm...........

"There, you see! I did it out of love-- and concern about your wellbeing."

Righhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhtttttttttttt........liarliarpantsonfire.......

:-P Pfffffffffffffffttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Deceived, I tell ya.....and when I get conned and tricked and lied to, I don't get mad.
I don't even get even.....

I ...............................................get ahead!
Hmmmph!!

How loving is it to give your coffee loving wife fake coffee, I ask!!
About AS loving as it's going to be when I put flowery scented shaving cream in his 'manly' looking shaving cream cannister!
*thinking*
Nahhhhhh.
I can do MUCH better than THAT!! LOL

A gift I'll never use

I got a care package in the mail today from my sister. She sends on the neatest things. Funky stickey notes, books on beaches and shells (lucky her lives on Manhattan Beach), bendy animals that I've now stuck on the fridge doorhandle--and chocolates that will please the Brit! LOL
OH!!
And penguins kleenexes.
PENGUIN KLEENEXES!!!!
Now, how cool is THAT?!!?!

I can't bring myself to actually USE the penguin guys. Like I could 'blow' on those little fella's? LOL Ewwwwwwww!!
But they're wayyyyyyyyyyy cool!!
Cooler than cool, even!

The green turtle is crooked......

LOL Perhaps this is why I can't get the puzzle?
I think I'll pass on the silly puzzle and go annoy the Brit!
:-)

QOTW 10/22

What's the last 'bet' or 'dare' you got involved in?

The very last one?
I was sitting on the floor doing my "Sudoku" puzzle with the coloured animals that he bought me. The one I'd set up was a two starred puzzle.....LOL....that's an indicator that it's 'tougher' than the one star, but less tough than the four star. Yeah, yeah....I have a animal sudoku "for ages 6 and up"--he does the 'big people's' sudoku, I.....do the coloured animals one 'little people's' sudoku. LOL


I TOLD him it was two stars......and TOO HARD. (okay, so I whined a bit) He informed me that some day I'd get to do the "big people's" one if I JUST persevered.
Yeah well....I bet him HE couldn't do the two starred one in three minutes or less..(Mr. Smartiepants!!)

I won!
I won!!
*doing happy dance*

He claims it's cuz *I* said all the animals had to be facing same way.
Well, DUH!! EVERYbody knows you can't have one red elephant facing one way and another red elephant facing the other!
Hmmmph!

He's just a sore loser!
:-)

The reading fairies on 'holding your own'....

Trust yourself. Trust what you know.

Sometimes, it is hard to stand in our own truth and trust what we know, especially when others would try to convince us otherwise.

Others may have their own agenda. They may be immersed in denial. They would like us to believe that we do not know what we know; they would like us not to trust ourselves; they would prefer to engage us in their nonsense.

We don't have to forfeit our truth or our power to others.

Believing lies is dangerous.
When we stop trusting our truth, when we repress our instincts, when we tell ourselves there must be something wrong with us for feeling what we feel or believing what we believe, we deal a deadly blow to our self.

When we discount that important part of ourselves that knows what is the truth, we cut ourselves off from our center.
We feel crazy.
We get into shame, fear, and confusion.
We can't get our bearings when we allow someone to pull the rug from under us.

This does not mean that we are never wrong.
But we are not always wrong.

Be open.
Stand in the truth.
Trust what you know.
And refuse to buy into denial, nonsense, bullying, or coercion that would like to take you off course.

Ask to be shown the truth, clearly - not by the person trying to manipulate or convince you, but by yourself, your Higher Power, and the Universe around you. Refuse to buy in, and wait--it will become clear.

~~~~~~~~~~
The truth is, sometimes I get handed a piece of wisdom from the reading fairies and I think "wow..........where was that ten years ago when I needed it!!".
*chuckling* I apply it to yesterday, get a bit of validation and move on--sometimes quite happily, truth be told.

No, I haven't 'fixed' that pride and ego problem perfectly yet, dangit.
*sigh*

This morning I complimented the reading fairies on a grand truth, patted myself on the back for knowing and doing different today..........and promptly turned around and did exactly what the fairies were trying to warn me about.
I'm not really a 'wishy washy' kinda person. I've learned to say what I mean without saying it mean.
"You could be right--I could be wrong." came out of my mouth when I was talking to a pigeon--cuz--well, gee golly, I CAN be wrong..........

*sigh*
I wasn't wrong and I knew it.
Wisepersoninmylife knew it the moment I shared the dilema with him. LOL I almost didn't share it with him cuz I KNEW before putting it out there that what I'd done was wrong--I'd 'compromised right to end what felt like a power struggle'.

"Well wasn't that NICE of you......." (I knew it was coming when he put it that way....LOL)
"Let me make this crystal clear. Principles are still principles--whether they're convenient, comfortable OR popular. No matter how slick YOU talk or how rational YOU make it--principled living is required.....period. Nice of you to make an exception for that fella though."

Owie?
Yeah, yeah.........I know 'less' isn't acceptable for me..........or for anyone else on this journey.

I knew that--but decided to compromise that truth because......
Ummmm....Cuz it wasn't convenient, comfy or popular. LOL
Darnitall!!

Bravo, Mel!! *rolling eyes*
And what's up with the complacency?!!
*sigh*

Wanna hear G-d laugh?

Tell Him your plans--

Actually--it went more like:

Wade your way through boxes in the storage room and locate the Holiday boxes.
Try HARD to remember which of the gazillion boxes you've packed the snowman bucket in.
Dig through one and tell yourself "next box...I can feel it!"
Dig through another one and tell yourself....."wrong feeling! LOL".
Dig through three more boxes, discover a whole lot of stuff you'd forgotten you had and start plotting what to do with it..........and then remind yourself Halloween hasn't even happened yet! FOCUS MEL!! Snowman bucket. Think snowman bucket.
Dig through the next box....
And the next box....
And that NEXT box and voile'!! One snowman bucket!!
Carefully stack the boxes back into place.
Gleefully tromp up the stairs, loudly singing (off key of course) "Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow........."
Wait.
Check contents of snowman bucket.
Wait some more.
Check the temperature repeatedly and keep humming that darn song. LOL
Wait some more.....
Fix dinner.
Wait some more.
Check the weather report--
And let the MUTTERING begin!!

I've been RIPPED OFF!!!!
Darn if the weatherman didn't tell me they'd cancelled the snow advisory.

EXCUSE ME??!!!!!

*sniffle*
*pouting* Didn't anyone tell the Big Guy that I had the snowman bucket ready and everything?!

Winter Weather Advisory Time!

Well, THIS is a surprise!
They're saying 3-5 inches of snow possible this afternoon/evening. No biggie--except we still have leaves on the trees--which potentially means we could have some broken trees if we get that wet mushy snow--which we will cuz it's that time of year. Makes me wanna go out and shake the trees in the yard so the leaves fall off. LOL
I hope Studley likes snow.........won't he look precious sitting in a white yard!

Bit early--but not untypical for Iowa, mind you.
And I did what every well trained Iowan does when there's an advisory issued. I went to the store.
NO, not the grocery store again!
I had to get bugs for 'the children'. :-D
And now-- I'm hangin' around waiting for wisepersoninmylife to come have coffee with me.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....
I think I'll go find the 'snowman parts in a bucket' while I wait! LOL

Friday's adventure in kindliness

Me---IN the grocery store... *shaking head*
ONE of us had to go. And it was me.
Last week I was joyously in the store....not so joyous this week! LOL SEE how fickle I can be?!
Himself is now officially miserable. He's now got a headcold--and I'm hoping it stays in his head! LOL Take that anyway you like!

So, yup........me in the evil grocery store.

There wasn't much to pick up--it was going to be a quick trip.
Well, it was suppose to be.

And then I ran into six people........who wanted to 'chat' and 'socialize'.
(G-d has a funny sense of humour--this is why I do NOT like grocery stores! I'm not there to socialize and catch up on everyone's life! My theory is 'get in, get what you need, get the heck out'!)
YES thank you, I think I'd like to be social and kindly. *sigh* (obviously I need more practice and arrangements got made, huh?)

Now, doing that in the canned goods section is one thing---doing that in the aisle with all the feminine products..........*shaking head* YES, I was still kindly! No--it didn't kill me. (near enough though--cuz when you're talking with one person and another comes and you get to introduce them IN the feminine product aisle.....it was really, really close!)

I JUST wanted to grab a few things and get OUT people!! *sigh*
YES thank you, I think I'd like to be social and kindly.
Be kindly to the strangers who greet you, be kindly to the giggly clerk--be kindly to the chatty fella who's bagging the groceries.
Yep......practicing being kindly!!

And then--following an elderly woman out the door, out I go with groceries in hand accompanied by the chatty little fella who's there to be toting bags of groceries to the car--I got a golden opportunity.
Baby steps for the woman with the walker on wheels, slow, not so steady, but persevering.

Now, that incline outside the door is there for a purpose--but we're talking a gal who was maneuvering her walker (with wheels) with great deliberation. It's a steep inclinem she's decided to take it sideways---HOLY MOLEY and YIKES!!!!!

"Would you care for an arm and some company to your car?"
(seriously--I was afraid I was going to watch the woman tip over or careen out of control on that incline)
Kindly......social......I was doing GOOD!

She was clipped and curt and angry sounding. "NO I don't want any help! Leave me be!"

Well, THAT wasn't suppose to happen!!!!!!!
Sheeeeeeeshhhhhh!
Apparently no one told her I was practicing being kindly and she should cooperate!

"Oh, pshaw....--I'm walking you to your car and that's that, it's a lovely day and I could use the distraction. I sooooooooo don't like grocery shopping and I'm really, REALLY glad to be outta there!"
(OMG....I don't know how that came out of my mouth, I SWEAR!! I am soooooo convicted about being ESPECIALLY respectful and kindly to my elders, honest....and I even PAUSED and muttered to G-d before speaking!!)
And I'm stepping to the side to put my foot aside the wheel so it's not slipping sideways, taking the gal's arm and we're walking in baby steps.......with me chattering away about the evils of grocery shopping. LOL
And the chatty fella who was toting my bags to the car---followed. LOL What else could he do?

We just sorta shuffled along, discussing our distain for the grocery store and what a chore it is to have to wander the aisles looking for something that's ALWAYS been in the juice section that they decided should be put in another place---without our permission, and without a note in it's spot telling us where it'd been relocated!! (hmmmmmph!!) And broken eggs inside cartons where you can't see them, getting home to find you've purchased tomato sauce when you needed tomato paste and why can't they make labels BIG so you can read them--AND people in the grocery store wanting to socialize when we're there to simply getting the job done! LOL I fool you not......

And I got to meet her husband.

He wasn't in the car--he was in the grocery store..... but he found us when we were almost to that Oldsmobile.
He'd lost her somehow.
Apparently she'd gone to get lima beans and decided she was done shopping when she couldn't bend well enough to reach them. "Why don't they put the beets down there--I detest beets." LOL

He shuffled along in bigger baby steps, bless his soul.
They're a cute little couple.
He thanked me profusely and she told me it had been 'lovely' to talk to me.

The chatty fella with my groceries was undoubtedly glad to be finishing up with us-- and I wished them a lovely evening. They really were a cute little couple--and she...was an absolute hoot!
(YES, it pays back a thousand fold to be kindly. Thank you for reminding me.)

Go figure when he tried to take her arm he got met with a "Let me be! I don't want any help!".
I couldn't help but smile.
And then I heard the "Pshaw, woman--quit being ornery..." as he went about helping her into the car.

*chuckling*
Okay, already!!
It pays to be social.
It pays to be kindly.
It pays to 'pause' before speaking.
And it pays to whisper that fast "help me here, Big Guy" to the Man Upstairs.

Hello little reading fairy.......

How wonderful to contemplate that we can choose every attitude we have and every action we take. We have been gifted with full responsibility for our own personal development.
Our options are only limited by our vision.


Every situation in life offers us a significant opportunity for making a decision that will, of necessity, influence the remaining situations we encounter.
Just as we are interdependent, needing and influencing one another in all instances that bring us together, likewise our decisions are never inviolate.
Each is singly important; its impact is multiplied by the variety of other decisions triggered.

The choice is ours for living fully today, for taking advantage of all the opportunities that present themselves.
Our personal growth, our emotional and spiritual development, are in our hands.
Guidance comes, tools are availed.

The decision to act is ours, alone.

YOU vs Us

Yep--I went into work today.
Well, at least for a few hours (seven...). I was suppose to have appointments tonight--obviously that's not happening.

I was just fine as long as A) I could sit vs stand/walk and B) no one made me laugh. Unfortunately, both A & B tend to happen a lot at the worksite--a shortened day was probably the wisest thing.

Only--people don't trust that I'll actually LEAVE and make it a shortened day.
I told the boss at 10:30 in an email that I'd be keeping it a short day. Honest, I didn't see his response at 11:30 which simply read: GO HOME!!! (yep...all capitals with three exclamation marks) I opened that email about 2:30 this afternoon.
Oops?....LOL

And when one of my supervisors called into work I answered the phone and got greeted with a "WHY are you at work?" (ummm.....hello?! LOL) I did tell her I'd be leaving by five and not working this evening as I normally do......no worries!

Son of a gun if she didn't remind me of how stubborn and oppositional I am.
Moi? *batting eyes innocently*

She took it back ten years --when I was at work following chemotherapy cuz I was NOT going to surrender to being sick, nor was I going to allow all of that to get in the way of doing what it was that I was 'suppose' to be doing.
She'd asked me to go home because of how sickly I appeared.
I refused and assured her (inbetween dashes to the restroom) that I did NOT need to go home--I wasn't SICK sick......I was just FINE to be at work.
The gal ended up ringing my boss and asked HIM to order me to go home since I wasn't willing to listen to her. (like THAT was going to work?!) He assured her that she would FIND a way to be more effective than him--cuz even HE knew I wouldn't be listening to him. (gee--I really DO have a reputation for being stubborn and oppositional, huh?! LOL)
This is when she came to me for the last time and told me either I was going home or she was.
I didn't think that was too big of a deal--and told her so. LOL At least I'd be done with people getting on my case and I'd be left alone to do my job---inbetween running to the restroom, of course!
She had a better plan-- and won the battle when she assured me she'd take the rest of the staff who were on duty--- with her.
"Go home--or WE'RE going home."
Conspiracy is a creative solution....LOL And sure enough--they all had their coats on!

*shaking head*
I gotta admit that I can see hows come she doesn't find me credible in this situation...LOL

I left a bit before five.

And son of a gun if she didn't ring up to the unit to see if I had actually left......
*chuckling* AND told the supervisor on duty this evening that had I NOT left--they'd ALL have been gathering their coats up to help me go home.

She flatters herself is she actually thinks that'd work twice.
ROFL

Harold and the Snowman

Yep--when all else fails and you're trapped at home--dig out 'stuff' to make.
I won't even tell you how long the silly snowman took. It's embarassing. LOL But he turned out okay enough......eventually.......
Now, I want you to keep in mind this 'kit' SUPPOSEDLY is for age 7 and up.
(let the snickering begin!!)

And this---is Harold. He's now sitting on the Brit's monitor.

Go figure---another project for 7 years of age and up.
Harold not only had lousey instructions--but he was near impossible to get to LOOK like a penguin. (Yes, he IS A PENGUIN!!)

The hat was NOT cut to shape correctly, nothing was sticking where it was suppose to--'cept it WAS sticking to my fingers.
I quit working on Harold twice--and threatened to chuck the whole thing cuz.....well.....cuz it's suppose to look like the picture when it's done, right? LOL
But I'm a never say 'die' kinda gal. LOL Well, that and the Brit actually suggested that I quit!

HA!!!

Okay, so I made his eyeball pop out of the wiggly eye and I had to glue that in before I could glue on the wiggly eye that no longer wiggles. And I had to redo the hat three times cuz it was too big for his little penguin head......and I initially put his little wingie things on wrong.....

The Brit promised to love him.
He HAD to before I would finally let him have a peek at Harold.
And Harold has now claimed his rightful spot.
I've no doubt he'll be one loved penguin.

At least until the Holidays are over and he finds himself in a treasure box--until the NEXT Holiday and the Holiday after......FOR THE REST OF THE BRIT'S LIFE.
:-)

*hitting head with reading book*

One of the conclusions I have come to in my old age is the importance of living in the ever-present now. In the past, too often I indulged in the belief that, somehow or other, tomorrow would be brighter or happier or richer.--Ruth Casey

I didn't have to go any further in the reading book (though I did, cuz that's what I do every morning)

I'm really graced and I know it.
I'm thinking today I'll ACT like I know it and quit indulging in stuff that is circumstantial and of little significance.



I think I'm done feeling sorry for myself now. (at least for this moment? LOL)

(And I now think I can be 'un-stuck' from the number four! LOL)

This post is brought to you by

(ta da!!)


The number "4"





Four Jobs I've Had
Bartender (go figure, eh?)
Secretary for an insurance firm
Import Specialist *hanging head* My bad.....
Therapist of the Psycho Kind(*rolling eyes at the pun*)

Four Movies I Can Watch Over and Over
Casablanca
Field of Dreams
Saving Private Ryan
It's a Wonderful Life

Four Places I Have Lived
A grand old two story house with lovely oak woodwork
A loft apartment in the downtown district
A renovated(by me) apartment with a 'hallway from hell'
A peacefilled little yellow house on the corner

Four Television Shows I Love to Watch
---pass....I don't watch television....TRUE!

Four Places I Have Been On Vacation
Manhatten Beach
Boston
Beverly
Isle of Wight

Four of My Favorite Dishes
Popcorn :-)
Alfredo anything
Cauliflower
Pretzels

Four Websites I Visit Daily
Message boards (2)
Multiple personal blogs (over 2-- so I'm past the limit!)

Four Places I Would Rather Be Right Now
(dunno that I'd rather be anywhere but where my little feeties ARE today)
In a bathtub filled with bubbles and a few rubber duckies--then....
In bed with warm jammies
In bed with warm jammies snuggled under the quilt
In bed with warm jammies snuggled under the quilt warming my feet on a Brit! LOL

Which is where I'll soon be headed--cuz I can! ;-)

Dear Mr. Bossfella

I got up, got dressed and even got that stupid cereal ate cuz you have to have stupid food with the stupid meds they shoved off on me.
I figured if I got up and moving, I'd feel better.
And I was fine--- until I walked and talked.

It didn't work....(I think I have half of my left lung coughed up now, thanksverymuch)
And I won't be either.

I called the unit and whined--and got absolutely no sympathy (Seriously--WHO HIRED THESE PEOPLE!!!).

I'm now going to find a comfy chair and feel grumpy about all this.

Have a nice day.
Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

Sharing Kleenexes

Yep--you got it! Himself is sniffling and sneezing and trying to be kindly about it.
(dangit, I TOLD the germies to stay away from him!!)

'Cept you KNOW how it goes--they're dying. LOL

Well, he's not really.........he's got a touch of what I had this past weekend. We'll hope it doesn't blossom into accute bronchitus, or he could be sharing more than my aloe kleenexes.

I've decided that a couple shots in the rearend are much easier and leave you with a better taste in your mouth---literally.
I can't say I'm liking the pastey metalic taste the oral medications leave me with. And I've never been fond of codeine--what it does for the average bear, I don't know. It's not my drug of choice......LOL
And why should I have to sign for a narcotic that does absolutely nothing for me. (spoken like a true little addict, eh?)

I'm trudging off to work cuz I felt worse over the weekend and frankly, I'm bored and making myself nutzoid doing nothing.
Yeah, yeah.....I know I have bronchitus and I need to take care of myself.
Sometimes I wish I had a sense of what 'normal' sick really is.......I compare it to what sick REALLY was and this doesn't even come close. If I had something different to compare it with, perhaps I could justify a decision to stay at home and remain bored and whiney. LOL
(like I've ever had to justify my whininess! LOL)

If not that lousey excuse, I have the other one:
I have to go out and get more kleenexes--we're runnin' low! ;-)

Top ten EARLY attempts to amuse myself whilest sick

"You pay good money for a doctor to tell you what's wrong and how to take care of the problem so you cannot follow the suggestions?"

Yeah, yeah.......I'm sure that only makes sense to the likes of me.
I don't LIKE being sick and I dislike being TOLD to do--well, anything! LOL

YES, I'm home. NO, it's not because I willingly opted to follow the instructions. And YES, I tried to figure out a way to do what I wanted to do and not what I needed to do.
NO IT DIDN'T WORK!!
*rolling eyes*

So..........top ten things to do while stuck at home taking medications and coughing a lung out if you open your mouth to talk or walk around for any period of time:

1) Eat stupid cereal cuz the instructions are that you must have food with your medications or bad things WILL happen. I don't EAT cereal. I don't eat breakfast..........I drink mine via the coffee pot, thanksverymuch--I ain't UP for food until after 1pm. And I never ever shoulda left those stupid 'medication information' sheets ON the table where SOMEone would feel compelled to read them and demand I FOLLOW THE STUPID INSTRUCTIONS. But yes, thankyouverymuch, I'd LOVE a bowl of cereal. *blech!*
2) Whine and try to convince your boss that you really ARE up to sitting in on an afternoon meeting--barter and promise to leave directly afterwards and whine some more-- but surrender when he says "did the doctor say 'no work EXCEPT meetings?'........was THAT the instructions?" "........nooooooooooooo................." Pfffffffffffffttttttttttt!!!!!!!
3) Call work and warn them that you won't be present..........and see if you can get anyone to feel sorry for you. Nope....not one soul..........gee................who HIRED those people anyways?!
4) Read a book..........set it down.........pick it up and read some more...........set it down, pick it up, set it down--and flick it from the table onto the floor.
5) Call work JUST to check and make certain the families you were scheduled to meet with tonight know you won't be available...........and pull faces where they can't see you as they act almost offended that you thought they wouldn't be responsible-- and pull lots MORE faces when they suggest you just crawl back in bed and drink lots of liquids.
*sticking fingers in ears and waving them about while making the raspberry sound*
Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6) Dig in the closet for your penguin slippers. Note: Upside down---bad idea cuz you cough more. Slip slippers on and drag your feet around to make scuffy noises as you walk.
7) Consider doing laundry.........and consider the price you'll pay when him indoors returns to find it done..... PASS on the laundry....it's just not worth it. Pfffffffffffttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!
8) Stare blindly into space and feel sorry for yourself. Note that it's wayyyyyy more fun if you can actually get someone to feel sorry FOR you. Small wonder I like to whine--it's a challenge to get the unsuspecting involved in my own hedonistic pleasures. LOLOL (is it working yet?! ROFL!!!!!!!!!!)
9) Consider company..........and then pass. I mean, c'mon..........who wants to share the room with someone who's hacking up their left lung? And who wants witnesses to the fact that I'm a pisspoor patient?!
10) Make a list of things I've pulled in a matter of hours trying to amuse myself, note the number of failed attempts and consider* actually RESTING like the doctor suggested.

*I considered it!!

NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Small town practices

Go figure I have acute bronchitus and sinusitus. *shrugs* That means some serious meds and a bottle of wicked cough syrup. Oddly enough, it didn't mean a couple shots in the rearend--which has been the solution for eons.

NOT that I'm complaining--I'll take the oral medications, thanks.

I got to see a different doctor than usual--she asked me if I wanted to see the physician I normally see. "Is he here?" "No."
Okayyyyyyyy then! LOL

She asked if I'd gone to work today.
"Yup--they were chasing me around with clorox wipes for a good six hours."

She suggested I stay home tomorrow--get a good 24 hours in with the antibiotics.
She didn't even feel it was necessary to listen to my chest. Dunno why she would, I was coughing like a lunatic the entire time.
But she did let me keep my glass.....errrrrr....specimen cup of water during the 'exam'.
You did read that correctly.
The nurse gave it to me---wasn't that kindly?
Apparently they don't have dixie cups? LOL

The pharmacist was absolutely professional, lemme assure you.
"Chase that cough syrup and codine down with a glass of water--or whiskey.....whichever your prefer." AND he winked at me.

*shaking head and chuckling*

Gotta love smalltown mentalities, eh?
But I'm a tad upset.....I didn't get to keep the drinking glass specimen cup and I'd already started to make grand plans for it. LOLOLOL

The bug lesson......

" So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves....."
How many times have I made a decision that 'seemed' like a good one--until it played out. And then I moaned and groaned about the end results and pointed fingers at everyone BUT me?
Ooops......missed that one? (hardly........LOL I just loveeeeee to escape responsibility if it's not comfy and warm and 'good feeling'!)

Gotta love the Asian Lady Beetle--it's the example of 'our trouble being of our own making'. It sounded like a good plan to introduce a bug to get rid of a bug. Looks like a lady bug...acts like a lady bug...but it is NOT a lady bug!
It was a good plan....until it played out.

Can we get rid of the darn things? Nope. They're an irritant and a nuisance--hardly a danger unless one lands on you, which they frequently will when they're driven from the fields cuz they don't want to die.

But our 'intentions' were GOOD, dangit!

My intentions can be darn good, driven by pure motives. And STILL the end result may still be a stinky nuisance that affects a whole lot of people.


*sigh*
So I'm walking myself out of a moment with wisepersoninmylife and one of the darn bugs lands on me.
Did he HAFFTA take that opportunity to point out the similarity between my whining and the darn bug?
I KNOW my troubles are of my own making, darnit!
*grumbling*
EVERY moment contains a lesson--that's what makes life "fun"!!
*rolling eyes*

I can KNOW that and still not wanna haffta deal!!
LOL

QOTW 10/15

Who do you talk to when you need help with making a decision?

That's fairly easy for me to answer.

I talk with him indoors for a multitude of things.
And I talk with wisepersoninmylife(#1 and #2) for the other multitude of things.

LOL There are some things I don't get to talk with him indoors about until after I've talked with wiserpersoninmylife (#1 or #2) cuz I know what I'll get and it'd be manipulative as all get out to even consider that.

I have to have me where I need to be to ask myself the questions in order to make the right choices.
I know me well enough to know that's true--and if I'm not centered/on the beam--badddddddddd plan to go soliciting feedback cuz I'm more than likely looking for someone to agree with me and validate wrong thinking and wrong motives.

And........since I really can sell pork to the Rabbi--buy time, buy time, buy time and get my arse connected and back on the beam.

*chuckling*

It's tempting to go ahead and do what I WANT to anyways--but geeze that leaves me with a hellacious mess to be cleaning up afterthefact.
LOL I think I'm getting kinda lazy cuz I'd much rather pass on cleaning up messes even if it means one shining moment of doing what I WANT instead of what I NEED to be doing!

Pumpkin patch time!!

Yeah, yeah.......cold and gloomy and threatening to rain.
ASK if that deterred us from our pumpkin picking rounds! :-)

I figured if I bundled up reallllllllllllllllly good, I'd be fine.

And sure enough.........I was peachy keen fine. It even cleared my sinuses for the moment.

We lugged home four pumpkins, 12 gourds and a good dozen corns.
*rubbing hands together*

Now........to just feel creative enough to DO something with 'em all!
AND I got to pet the bunny!!
:-)

Mr. Compassionate strikes again!

I'm over here whining and carrying on with the sniffles and sneezes and coughs--bonding with my second box of kleenexes. That's 80 tissues PER box. You might guess that I'm lookin' a bit like Rudolph the reindeer....
YES, I'M WHINING!!!!!!!

This was NOT exactly what I had planned for my first weekend OFF 'oncall' inweeks.....
I mean--c'mon!!.......who wants to be SICK on their days off?
And how come it works that way, anyway?!!!
Hows come I couldn't be sick on my days ON so I could take a day OFF my days on TO be sick?!!!?
*grumbling*
*sniffling and coughing*

Fine! Such is my 'lot'.........LOL

So...............MR. Compassionate (okay, he made me potato soup--that probably oughta count......) slips in the Stephen King movie "The Stand". If you're not read the book OR seen the mini-series...let me give you a brief to the plot: "When a government-run lab accidentally lets loose a deadly virus with flu like symptoms, the population of the world is decimated."
Absolutely great--they'reALL dying from some plague with cold/flu like symptoms..........how kindly of the 'frightfully British' Brit, eh?
I'm certain it was purely for 'entertainment' purposes that himself chose this mini-series that I've not seen..........

HELLLOOOO?!?!?!

*rolling eyes*
Oy......
I'm sure he was entertained when I pointed out perhaps NOW wasn't the best time TO watch it?!!


There's three more hours to watch of this six hour dilema-- cuz SOME folks survived the dreaded plague and went to Nebraska. LOL
Don't get me started...LOL

But I hear tell it's a story of good vs evil...........eventually...........

I'm also here to tell that if good doesn't win he's in big BIG trouble.

I'll cough on him!
I mean it!!!!!!! LOLOL

Outside adventures of the sickly kind

The cold has moved mostly from my head, down into my chest.
On one hand I'm glad to be giving my poor nose a break.
On the other......*cough cough*

*sigh*
'Nuff said....

But---- I got outside!
BOY was this a good thing!!
Quite frankly, I suck at being sick.

I even had enough pity going on that the Brit stopped the Jeep, turned around and let me watch the John Deere's in action. LOL
Chomp and puke time in Iowa. It's just a part of the season.
If I could smell, I'd be basking in how it all smells right now.
Alas and alack.......no such luck.
Instead I'm watching from the Jeep with my best friend(s) .........aloe/vitamin E kleenexes and the Brit. (not necessarily in that order)

I got outside twice yesterday, come to think of it.
I got to go grocery shopping. Wheeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

*hanging head*
Actually, I found great joy in grocery shopping yesterday--which is sick and wrong. LOL
Himself wondered why it was that I WANTED to tag along to pick up food items. It's not the norm to grab my coat and say "take ME, take ME!!".
Vindication for HAVING to show up. I'll confess..........
*hanging head*
It IS worthy to note that not one person actually wanted to stop to have a conversation with me whilest I was sneezing and sniffling and blowing my nose....... I'm sure it was nothing personal.
LOL

~~must remember this for future trips to the evil grocery store~~

Shut up, suit up and show up.........

Instead of trusting, we may revert to control.

We can approach this need to control by dealing with our fear.
We deal with fear by trusting - ourselves, our Higher Power, the love and support of the Universe, the Plan, and this process we call life.

We can trust that when things don't work out the way we want, God has something better planned.

We can trust ourselves to get where we need to go, say what we need to say, do what we need to do, know what we need to know, be who we need to be, and become all we can become, when we are intended to do that, when we are ready, and when the time is right.

We can trust that we will be given all the direction we need.

We can trust that all we need on this journey shall come to us. We will not get all we need for the entire journey today. We shall receive today's supplies today, and tomorrow's supplies tomorrow. We were never intended to carry supplies for the entire journey. The burden would be too heavy, and the way was intended to be light.

Trust in yourself. Trust the journey. Trust the Greater Plan. Trust that all things are as they are suppose to be.

We do not have to plan, control, and schedule all things. The schedule and plan have been written. All we need to do is show up.

The way will become clear and the supplies will be amply and clearly provided, one day at a time.
Trust in today.

A long, longggggggggggg time ago wisepersoninmylife told me the ONLY thing that was required of me was to "shut up, suit up and show up". *chuckling*
I can't say I was real thrilled when he told me that.
Today I know what that means.

I showed up today--in my jammies WITH my box of kleenex with aloe.
And the furthest I got was the grocery store with himself. (insanity was starting to set in--I don't do well being 'confined' and since I despise grocery shopping--mwaahahahahaha....!!)
*shrugs*
Fine.....
I'm now back in jammies --STILL bonding with my box of kleenex with aloe.
Cold's suck.
But it takes what it takes to get me to slow down and REST.
(I suck at that "R" word and I know it!!)

It's kinda comforting to be reminded it's still about shutting up, suiting up and showing up cuz I'm not really in control of the outcomes today--I'm simply in control of me and my attitude.
Day in............day out.........that's the only thing I well and truly DO get to control.

And since my attitude frequently SUCKS, I'm thinking that oughta keep me plenty busy. LOL

:-( :-( :-P Pfffffffffffffffftttttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*sneezing*

*cough cough cough*

*sniffle sniffle*

*blowing nose*

*sighing*

How is it you can run around warp speed with your hair on fire all week and be REALLY looking forward to the weekend.............and then land up in bed, bonding with some stupid box of kleenex with aloe and vitamin E, whimpering about a sore nose and a scratchy throat?

*whining*

SUCKS!

*blowing nose*

*sigh*

*sniffle sniffle*

*whining some more*

NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*sneezing multiple times*

Do the math.....

Not that I'm superstitious--but let's add up the digits of today's date: October 13, 2006 = 10/13/2006 = 1+0 + 1+3 + 2+0+0+6 = 13

The last time this happened was Friday, January 13, 1520.

I wasn't around then--undoubtedly I won't be around for the next time it happens.

Just more proof, dontchathink?

Oh, not more proof of how eerie Friday the 13ths are.......more proof of how one needs to spend each day wisely cuz there won't be another like it in your lifetime.

*nodding*
There.

Now--don't ask me how the day went....... Frankly, I'd haffta confess that I went out and hugged a black kitty AND made a concerted effort to walk under that ladder--figured I might as well get it over with! *snickering*
;-)

I.................am a whiner.

We have a 'rule'--and it's a good 'rule'.

We each get a chunk of time to puke out what needs puked out about our days.........and then we hang it up and move on.

Ever heard those stories about hanging your troubles on the 'trouble tree' before entering your home?
Yeah, well, same concept..........
'Cept today I didn't 'play by the rule'.

I think I'm a tad 'full'.......a tad 'overwhelmed' and a WHOLE lot 'overly sensitive'.

And him indoors pointed out the rule cuz I'd exceeded the limit.
I agreed, told him I'd 'spent my time' and yep, I'd move on cuz that's the 'rule'.

LOL
THAT went over like a ton of lead bricks--cuz then Mr. Neurotic felt bad.

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO?????!!!!!!!!
There's a reason wisepersoninmylife gives me three kvetches before I get to shush up and get over it.
Acceptance isn't one of my stronger suits some moments.

I'd probably go on and on and onnnnnnnnnnnnnnn if it was 'allowed'.
Truth be told, if you're not going to hold me to the 'rule', I WILL go on and on and onnnnnnn AND onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!
I'm a kvetcher and a whiner and I apparently to hear myself talk............lots.........LOL

Gosh...........makes ya wonder if that's why I have this little piece of cyberspace, doesn't it?!
*snickering*

How fat is your squirrel?

I probably need to pay more attention to our squirrels. I do when they're feeding themselves silly on those peanuts and seeds that I put out for the cardnials and blue jays. *grumbling*

Never mind that I leave 'em their own corn--they're ill mannered critters and all they do with the corn is eat the best part and plant the rest. *shrugs* I'm guessing they're Iowa squirrels and they're farmers?

But seriously--how fat IS your squirrel?
I made the mistake of mentioning to our neighbour that we were suppose to be getting hit with snow as early as Thursday of this week--that apparently it's going to be a lonnngggggggg and cold winter.

On contraire'! LOL
He assured me it's going to be a mild winter--after all, the squirrels are skinny.

Forgive me--but I pointed it it was probably that all fruit diet they'd been on, eating his apples. *snickering*

Nope--he's spent a whole lotta time on the farm in the timber...........skinny squirrels equal a mild winter.
I, of course, couldn't wait to tell the Brit.

He promptly burst out laughing and had rather 'rude' things to say about our Iowa methods for weather predictions.

And today he sent me a link.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061010/ap_on_re_us/winter_outlook
With a note
"What a load of bull, they just looked at the squirrels really."

HA!!
*gloating*
YEAH for skinny squirrels!!

Bye Bye Phoebe

They're saying snow--potentially this Thursday.
I'm not genuinely upset about the flowers going--it's fall and a hard frost will do that. They're kinda straggley anyway.
But I have to say goodbye to Phoebe Hummer who's been busily sucking up the nectar for her trek south.
Doggone it....how sad is it that I'm gonna miss the hummers fighting over the feeder?!
*waving*
Bye bye Phoebe!
Safe journey!!

Notes to self

First of all, I have to do something about getting such little sleep.
Okay, so I've never BEEN real keen on sleeping--seems a perfectly good waste of time, if you ask me.
But three hours?
I'm thinkin' that's not good--it used to be four/five....now I'm consistently down to three.
I must spend the majority of time flip flopping around, trying to find a comfy spot and getting cranky about being IN bed. And if sleep isn't something that's going to happen---what's the point?!
If three hours is acceptable and 'normal'--then I wanna cross that off my list of things totake care of and move on.


Things that MUST get accomplished this week:
Driver's license renewed--HELLO.......put if off much longer and it'll leave my brain all together and I'll be getting to test and drive for some stranger who'll make me follow the RULES.
GET EYE EXAM scheduled. New glasses really aren' that big of a deal!! Sheeeeeeeeeshhhh! And while you're at it, schedule one for the Brit.....you'll feel better if he has to get new glasses, too. LOL
Car tags--good grief, you CAN pay online--get it done!
CALL THE BANK and provide them the information requested. It was asked two weeks ago, already!! *sigh*
Hair cut. And maybe ask a few questions about hair colourings. Nahhhhhh......LOL.....hair colourings AND an eye exam in the same week is wayyyyyyyyyyyy too much to ask!

QOTW 10/8

Someone has placed a brand new candy dish on your desk. What's it filled it with? Who put it there?

First of all, if it's candy in that dish--you can BET I didn't put it there.

Chocolate, no doubt--in Halloween colours to boot.

The culprit...........who knows. LOL Anyone who wants their chocolate 'safe' and 'protected'--cuz you're guaranteed that I won't be eating it!
I'll blame the secretary cuz she's handy and I ALWAY blame her for cute and thoughtful stuff in the office.
She's like that, though..........she enjoys being kindly and even enjoys being blamed for it!

Exciting life?!?

Huh?
Whaddaya suppose folks REALLY mean when they say "you lead an exciting life"......

*looking around*
And do you REALLY think they were talking about ME?
*frowning and scratching head*
No way...........

So I'm sitting here with a bag of pretzels and some cream ranch dressing (don't knock it until you try it) and I'm thinkin'......
"........OH yeah.........this is exciting...." LOL

Yesterday was filled with cleaning and laundry and chili making and rearranging a bedroom. I did all the linen in the house that I could find AND I managed to get called a 'tosh' by the Brit cuz I hid a piece of the jigsaw puzzle I'd brought out of the hall closet two days prior.
(YES, a jigsaw puzzle.................I'm guessing that alone oughta disqualify me from "you lead an exciting life". LOL)
What can I say, I LIKE putting in that last piece of the puzzle. LOL
(I've never, ever made any bones about being a 'liar, thief and a cheat'.......)
AND I like the Brit scrambling as he's searching the floor for that 'dropped missing piece' that I have in my pocket.
"LOOK!! I FOUND that missing piece!! Woooooooooohoooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!"
(didn't work btw--I still got called a 'tosh' and chased around the kitchen. And he still assure me that 'tosh' IS a term of endearment....hmmmmmm)

I GUESS that's exciting.......

I managed to get to a meeting, drank too much coffee and picked up a couple new pigeons. And I managed to field a number of calls from the worksite because I'm "oncall" for the weekend.......(well, I'm 'oncall' 24/7--but sometimes I'm lucky enough to have a supervisor on duty so I don't have to field calls all day long).
And I managed to talk with a pigeon I've been working with for 14 years and I talked with wisepersoninmylife #1 and #2.
AND I talked with the girl............oh..........and I stole an apple from the neighbours appletree (without getting caught, no less) and raked leaves into the street so the city can suck 'em up with their big vacuuming, leaf sucky-uppy thingie.

Come to think of it--Stealing the apple was sorta exciting......
Putting the 'apple picker' back on the neighbours back porch (where he leaves it JUST for me) soundlessly--was good fun!
I did leave a note "That was one MIGHTY GOOD apple!! Sincerely, Seymore Squirrel" on the patio door window.
I was smart enough to write left handed AND I taped a peanut in return to the note.
(dunno about your squirrels, but ours have stickey notes AND tape, so pfffffffffttttttttt!!!!)
I'm sure the neighbour fella is convinced it was the squirrel.
Fact is he told me about Seymore the Squirrel leaving him a note on the patio door just earlier this afternoon and my name didn't come into the conversation.
*polishing nails*

I'm that darn GOOD! LOL

But exciting?!
THIS is exciting?
I guess it was...........sorta.....

Now, colouring in the Snoopy Halloween Colouring Book yesterday was exciting!
I'm sure the Brit didn't really mind me doing that when he was trying to read in bed--doesn't EVERYbody like to spread colours out all over where you can actually SEE them? There are near 100 of those colours--you can't really tell what colour they are if they're actually IN the box.
Okay.......so they roll don'tchaknow--cuz they're ROUND?
*shrugs*
I mean, it musta been okay cuz he didn't really COMPLAIN complain.
Fact is, he went out of his way to make sure I KNEW he didn't mind--ya know, said stuff like "no dear, that's quite all right--I wasn't particularly wanting to finish this chapter" and "of course I don't mind you tunneling to find your yellow crayola......." and "yes, oh light of my life, that IS a wonderful colour and by all means don't let my reading interrupt you from sharing your joy........." (he's wordy--he coulda just stuck with 'nice colour' and I woulda been happy).

THAT was exciting stuff cuz it was Snoopy AND it was Halloween pictures!
Ya think that was what they were talking about?

*scratching head*
Really.....I don't lead an exciting life.

LOL But I'm certainly not bored!

Another Saturday, another speakers meeting......

Wanna hear G-d laugh--tell Him your plans.

G-d's got a funny sense of humour, I tell ya.....working with folks like me, I think it's required.
And then there's the folks that He sets ME up to be working with.
*shaking head*
It's like becoming a parent to teenagers--when you finally 'get' your parents warning of "wait til you have children of your own!".
Very funny, Big Fella....

I was a 'difficult' person to manage when I was sobering up.
(please note that I've become MUCH more willing and easy to work with....LOL..but don't ask wisepersoninmylife if that's TRUE...........LOL)
I pulled a whole lot of crap trying to get rid of the oldfart wisepersoninmylife who was put 'in charge' of me.
I was hard pressed to follow directions to begin with......frankly, I still colour outside the lines and run with scissors.
I find some sense of pride in remaining 'difficult'.....I like living outside that box--there's no doubt about it.

So I got asked to be the speaker at a meeting--speaking at some professional do-dah makes me anxious, but speaking to a bunch of drunks is just another meeting. LOL I'm not there to impress anyone with my infinite wisdom and knowledge, I'm there to remind myself what it was like, what happened and what it's like now. Heaven help me if I ever forget what it was like, ya know?!
Apparently I'm an 'entertaining' speaker.......I pulled some bonehead stunts when I was out practicing for drunk of the year. I'm also an 'effective' speaker cuz I say what's true about the price others around me paid for my 'good times'. I can still get a tad emotional when I'm taking about the lives I affected. There was a huge price others paid for loving me.

Do I remember what I talked?
Nope. LOL
I rarely do.
I ask G-d help me bring the message to those who are still suffering--and away I go. Oddly enough I almost always remember the last five minutes of the talk. It's like there's some internal alert system that's letting me know my hour is up. LOL

And I walked away with a new person to work with....two in fact.
I hear tell they're JUST like me.
Oppositional, mouthy and belligerant.....'difficult to work with'. Or so I'm told by folks who've tried to work with 'em. LOL A couple of them tried to 'warn me' before I said "I'd be honoured!"

But I'm not the average, run of the mill 'sponsoring' type of person.
I DO like a challenge.
Folks really DO a HECK of a lot of work when they show up to do the deal with me.
And I've been known to kick in a door or two when it comes time to pick up a pigeon who's suppose to be going to a meeting with me. Cuz I know it's about people's LIVES.

Oh LORD do I know how expensive doors are to replace......

LOLOL


All in all--it was and IS a small price to pay for having a life.....

And HE says he's talking English!? LOL

*scratching head*
*staring at target*
*aiming*

Excuse me--
Tosh, mush, sunshine and pal?
G'head....TELL me they're terms of endearment. LOL

And throwing a wobbly?
What in the hell is a wobbly?

(asking/demanding to know what a wobbly is IS ineffective--you just get pointed at and told "That.")
I need a flipping translator some moments. LOL

GO!!!!!
*banging head*