Fairy Reading

The big, urgent problems get your attention, as well they should. Because they are so serious, you’ll naturally take them seriously and quickly do something about them.

The smaller, nagging, everyday problems don’t have that same sense of urgency. They don’t usually grab your attention and demand to be solved.

Yet those little problems can wear you down over time. They seem almost too trivial to do anything about, so you can be tempted to just let them continue draining your energy and resources, day after day.

Fortunately, the little problems don’t take much effort to solve. It’s mostly just a matter of taking them seriously and taking the time to do it.

If there’s some little problem that’s been nagging you and slowly draining you, now is a great time to do something about it. Free yourself, one by one, from the little problems, and it can make a big positive difference in your life.

Midweek madness.....fingers to keyboard moment!

Every once in a while I 'allow' myself a bit of self indulgence.
Trust me when I own that's not a good thing........

I got angry.
A 'wake up at 3am' angry--when something I'd tolerated, in practice of 'love and tolerance is our code', resurfaced.
Maybe I didn't need to tolerate that.
People can feel what they feel, and have their opinions.  I can honour those and respect those. But I don't have to respect what I don't respect.  And I didn't respect a comment about a child's obligation to their parent as the parent aged. Not in reference to their child.....but in reference to the (grown) children in my life.
Yup.......'wake up at 3am' angry.......  And it wasn't the 'aged' remark either........

I don't have some of those values and beliefs that others have.
I just wasn't raised that way.  I learned some core values long after I probably needed to--from strangers.
I didn't come from a 'traditional' family.
I wasn't surrounded by cousins and aunts and uncles and relatives up the whazoo.

It was me and an alcoholic father.
My mother died when I was very young.
The other kids were scattered here and there, making their choices to cut bait and run cuz that's what they needed to do for THEM.
I remained.
I wasn't a part of a 'family' in the traditional sense.  There wasn't family involvement--there was family displacement.
Siblings were people 'over there' who might find their way back on a holiday........or might not......

Move into the next generation with a divorce, it was one parent here and one parent there.......bouncing back and forth until the 'lit and staying' happened, and that's the family history.  The other parent was alienated from family for reasons--and there weren't family members TO attach to.  By then the only thing that might have resembled a grandparent had died......
Me.
Kids.

The end.

I don't know what a 'traditional' family unit FEELS like.  I don't know how a traditional family unit deals with aging parents--not experientially.

Toss in my own battles with health and the lurking truth that at three different points I was told to get my affairs in order cuz I wasn't going to be on the planet--and you have an adult who doesn't KNOW what a traditional family unit does in those circumstances either.  All you know is there are kids that don't need to be focused on that or responsible to be something they're not.  I'm sure I complicated that in my own brain by not wanting them to assume responsibilities *I* had to assume as a child (even if the disease was different).
I didn't see the kiddos in my life needing to assume any 'obligation' to me in my illness nor do I see that needing to occur in my 'old age'.

Sorry.
I just don't.
That's not how I function and it's not how I raised them.
Coming from what I came from--and honouring where they'd come from with the back and forth and the uncertainty and the having to tend to themselves while in the care of the OTHER parent.......my job was to parent them, teach them, point them in right directions....and get the heck out of their way so they could be functional, productive, loving human beings.  The end.
THE end.

But their 'obligation' to me?
Yeah......notsomuch gonna happen.

I did things out of 'obligation' for a very long time, in a very dysfunctional family unit (scattered and screwed up as we all were).....and it took me forever to step back from that and do what was right and good and loving.  Maybe I'm hypersensitive and overly aware of the power of 'obligation'.......and I don't see it as a 'good' thing.  It didn't play out so good in my life.

I'm just the parent. They're not 'mine'.  They're G-d's kiddos.  I got to love 'em and raise 'em and teach 'em and get the heck out of their way.  And I get the privilege to still be involved.

If there's more and I'm missing it.......and it's a bit late in the gig now!

I don't see 'obligated' as a 'good' thing.
We do things in love and out of love.

Yup--gonna haffta go back and 'make right' when I tolerated what another assumed was 'right' for me--cuz it's not.

I do NOT like spinning over something at 3am.............

The Edge of Fall

Dust

Today, you have the good fortune to play a positive and active role in your own life. Fulfill that role with joy, gratitude, compassion, persistence and love.

The opportunity of this day has already been delivered to you. Graciously accept and embrace it, and make it into something magnificent.

Happy Cows!

Things that make me happy....

....rediscovering the funny penguin mug.

....a newly dusted bedroom.

....finding a new use for the hawk feathers I found.

....baby cows.

....the 10 holiday cards I have made already!

....the end of the month stuff ending!  Wooohoo!

....OH!!  And kaleidoscopes.  :-)

Today's Reading

You can feel whatever way you choose to feel, so choose to feel good. Feel good about yourself, your world, your possibilities and your life.

You don’t have to ignore or deny the difficult realities in order to feel good. You can be fully aware and involved with life’s realities and still choose to feel good.

You can endure pain and disappointment and still choose to feel good. For there is a beautiful part of you that can always rise above the most painful and burdensome difficulties.

Cultural Diversity

Yup--it's Guy Fawkes night.

"Remember, Remember the 5th of November....yadda yadda yadda"

He-who-celebrated-for-eons seemed to think it would be good to celebrate.  "After all--you celebrate St. Patrick's Day.  And you honour Martin Luther King's Day, yes?"

Yep--that we do!!


I did talk him into downsizing the celebration.

I lit the sparkler and he pranced around on the patio quoting some poem.


THANK GOODNESS I  talked him down from the bonfire (complete with the effigy) in the front corner of the yard with various fireworks.

I was pretty sure we'da made the paper for that one.....questionable on the jail time.......

Quilt Barn #56

QOTW

What foods don't you eat and why?



The list goes on and on and on and on!

And I say I'm not a picky eater.  *laughing*


I don't eat any product that contains wheat, rye, barley or malt.......or any byproduct of the aforementioned.
Which means.....I drool over pasta's and breads but don't touch or consume.
Not by choice, mind you.  By diagnosis--after about 2 years of wondering what in the world was wrong with me.

I eat beef in small quantities when I have to.   Chicken and turkey--I eat.  I eat some fish.....rarely.
That means the rest of the 'stuff'.......I don't eat.  Some is the result of being raised in a Jewish home--most of it is I just don't like meats!  *shudder*

What's that leave? LOL

Fruits and veggies and milk products.
I eat most of those.
'Cept there's a few I won't eat cuz of the slime or moosh factor.
And some just taste ucky.
And oh......I have this thing about texture and consistency.
.....And food touching that oughta not ever be touching, ever never ever!

Right.
I just want to say one more time--I am NOT a picky eater.
I'm an......uncomplicated, SIMPLE eater.
Pfffffffffffffft!!

TFTD

How ugly and wrong it makes us feel to be different: to be tall when others are short, slow when others are fast, black when others are white.

The miracle, and paradox, is that everyone is different - and that is what makes us all the same.

When we think honestly about the people we admire - friends, sports heroes, actors, musicians, parents, teachers, employers - we know that all of them, as human beings, not heroes, have felt out of place in their lives, probably many times.

Believing we are alone or different cuts us off from others. Climbing over that protective wall of "differentness" is scary, but it is guaranteed to set us free.

:-/

Wow.
I get to cook today.

*laughing*
Let's see if I remember how......
(good plan.......cuz I said I'd toss together a chicken somethingorother......)

I did pull stuff out of the cupboard and set 'em on the counter last night..... So when he left this morning for the train show thingy with his buddies I actually LOOKED like I knew what I was doing.

Right!
I have cut up the chicken and onion and garlic.
AND I've tossed 'em into the slow cooker thingy with some broth and seasoning stuff -- bit of this, bit of that kinda deal.

I'm thinking..........4 hours and then I'll add the beans and shoepeg corn and pretend I've been slaving for hours.
Yup!

Which means I can get in the car and go to the river for a bit--even though it's cold.
And I mean nippy chilly cold.
Maybe the antique store for a wander around!

Ohhhhhhh.......endless possibilities while the slow cooker is doing its thing.....

Sleeping with Bread

There's always this scramble at the last minute.  ALWAYS.
And there's always this jumble of fear and joy.  ALWAYS.
Back and forth, back and forth......it's an emotional roller coaster.  Why I don't simply LET GO and stick with the 'joy'....who knows......
Performance anxiety maybe?  LOL

There's more than that emotional back and forth that happens--
....work, home, work, home, work, home.......this year it was only four times.  LOL  Other years it's been a dozen or so, so there's a source of gratitude.
I only had to lug staple guns, hammers/nails/zip ties, 2 x 4 bits of wood and rope/electrical cords/3 prong adaptors!  Next year I'll simply put them in my trunk.

Back and forth to the unit--in and out, up and down....  Toting scenery, toting props, lugging boxes of bagged goodies, looking for 'lost pieces', looking for the 'fog juice' and the missing strobe light......
I swear every year that we'll be more organized.
Every year--we scramble and laugh and grumble and panic--and SOMEhow manage to pull it off.


There's great joy watching grown ups and kiddos working hand in hand, trying to solve the problems that present themselves as you're assembling backdrops, 10 foot Draculas and hooking up cute monsters that pop out of bushes.......all in winds that no one anticipated.
No one bickered--which was amazing. People were frequently 'wrong' ......and lived.
And the Sock Monkey didn't electrocute herself.  THANK you, G-d!

There were less than 100 bagged goodies left when it was all said and done. (they start with 1000--so this is a good thing!)
There were donations in the boxes.
There was $78 in the bowl along with two IOU's and a funny little thank you note written on a grocery store receipt.

And as the works got disassembled, packed up, thrown out and shoved in places they ought NOT be (yes--they're still kiddos and yes every therapist ought to have a fog machine in their office!!)--the werewolf and zombies shoved 11 bags and 2 boxes of canned/boxed goods into the van for delivery the following day.
AND they put in those (less than 100) left over goody bags along with the bowl that held the cash.

I'll get the bowl back.
We'll do it again next year.
I'll put staples, hammers and zip-ties in the trunk before I leave the house.
And I'll remember to TRUST.

It all turns out the way it's suppose to, eh?

Pastel Layered

Fairy Reading

Hard times, stressful times, are not all there is to life, but they are part of life, growth, and moving forward.

What we do with hard times, or hard energy, is our choice.

We can use the energy of hard times to work out, and work through, our issues. We can use it to fine-tune our skills and our spirituality. Or we can go through these situations suffering, storing up bitterness, and refusing to grow or change.

Hard times can motivate and mold us to bring out our best. We can use these times to move forward and upward to higher levels of living, loving, and growth.

The choice is ours. Will we let ourselves feel? Will we take a spiritual approach, including gratitude, toward the event? Or will we use the incident to prove old, negative beliefs? Will we say, "Nothing good ever happens to me... I'm just a victim... People can't be trusted... Life isn't worth living"?

We do not always require hard energy, or stress, to motivate us to grow and change. We do not have to create stress, seek it, or attract it. But if it's there, we can learn to channel it into growth and use it for achieving what's good in life.

Reading Fairy Stuff

Knowing that acknowledgment is the first step toward healing, we must be willing to face whatever conditions or experiences we have created in our own lives and to see beyond the appearances. 

~ 

As a process, healing is returning to a sense of wholeness and perfection; for in Truth, we are never not whole, perfect and complete.

~

As a practice, healing calls for us to be aware -- to be mind-full of the tricks of the ego and the traps of the race consciousness that keep us bound to a belief in lack and limitation. 

Youdon'tseeme.....

Fairy Dust

Everybody is unique. 

Do not compare yourself with anybody else lest you spoil God's curriculum.

My Sister's Card

In the past seven months--5 days a week, every week.

That's 154 cards.  Without fail.
She's been too tired, too taxed.  Too busy shuttling from one place to the next, taking care of business--doing what's been required.
There was one letter.

And now--a card.
She made a card.
She MADE a card!

This is a very good thing.

And it was just for me!

I find great humour that it's a POISON card.  *laughing*

Oh gosh.....how can you NOT love the shared, sic sense of humour!

TFTD

I grew up knowing I had to be a success for others.

--Sandy Warman

The pressure of performance is daunting and extremely stressful. Some, like Sandy, were controlled by it their whole lives. Perhaps that was your experience, too. Are you free of it now?

The desire to be successful never was a bad thing in and of itself. Teachers encouraged it right along with our parents. Employers reinforced the importance of being successful. But there is and always was a difference between enjoying a job done right and driving ourselves ragged to impress others.

Whatever reason we used for seeking success isn't all bad though. If it motivated us to stretch ourselves, it meant we discovered abilities we might not have known we were capable of. The contribution we made to the world around us was affected accordingly and that changed our lives forever. We can come to believe that however we lived our lives was simply as good as we were capable of. No matter what motivated us in the past, we can take charge of what motivates us now. Finally, that's all that really counts today.

Today I'll be aware of the motives behind my efforts. I don't have to impress anyone.