Imprisoned

Today's Thought

Conflict can result from trying to change a person or situation that we don't like. And conflict causes stress and agitation, both of which limit our lives. They steal our ability to be open to opportunities for growth and change.

Why is it so hard to accept situations we don't like? Many times it's because of our ego. We feel diminished when others don't agree with our plan or our opinion. Our self-worth is tied to other people's reactions.

But we can change. We will discover how much better we feel when we're not on the battlefield with our friends and loved ones.

I don't have to have conflict with other people today. I can let others be themselves and do what feels right to them.

It is Friday.....

I've gotten out of bed.

I managed some soup.

I don't like migraines--they pretty much suck.

I tried work and lasted all of two hours before the throwing up started.

The good news is that I'm up.

I cleaned the coffee pot--why, I have no clue.

I checked up on the sister on the west coast--she's apparently 'okay'.....which I'm thankful for.

But I'm devastated for the people who aren't 'okay'.

I don't 'do' the news for this reason--it hurts my heart. And I've never considered myself to be a 'softie'.....but clearly, somewhere along the way, I was given empathy for others.

At times like this it would be handy to not have it.....I'm not so keen on feeling the feelings attached.

I won't watch any more.
Could.....won't.....
I get it.

I wish I didn't.

My head hurts.

My heart hurts.

My whole being hurts.

*sigh*

The good news is I have a headcold on top of it--and himself bought me my own box of kleenex.

Life....is good.

Blue Day

Fairy Reminder

Leave room for God to surprise you!

--Ernie K.

It is human to be disappointed when we don't get what we want. But when we dwell on our disappointment, as if we should have gotten what we wanted, then we forget to trust that there is something different in store for us. Many of us pray, "Thy will be done," but more often than not, when we don't get what we want, we forget it may be His will that we not get it!

We can only know the present moment. This is our life – all of it. When we worry about future wants and past disappointments, we don't leave room in ourselves for the present. When we let the future take care of the future and live the best we can right now , we can feel assured we'll be ready for the better things that are in store for us.

Quilt Barn #22

Today's Thought

Motives are important in dealing with other people. If we're frank with someone and that person gets upset, we might think he or she just can't handle our directness, our honesty. But "honesty" without love is more like brutal frankness. If we want to be confrontational, we have to put up with the consequences.

But what is the real reason for being confrontational ("honest"), for pointing out others' flaws? Are we perhaps afraid that our own flaws will be discovered? Are we protecting ourselves by focusing attention on others?

Are my motives always honest?

Help me see where my motives are selfish or mean or petty.

Ohhhhhhhhhh...... Thomas!!!!!! :-)

QOTW

Do you mind showing emotion in front of others? Does it make a difference if it’s family, friends, co-workers or strangers?

It depends on the emotion, in all honesty.

Some, I don't care who the witnesses are.
Others--.....ummm...yup.....CARE!!!

I'll be the first to admit that I'm not a gooshy person in general. Now, that doesn't mean I'm not a loving person--I'm assured I am.

I don't have an issue with being gooshy with the girl in public. I don't have an issue being gooshy with the bug in public. I do have an issue being gooshy with the Brit in public depending on the company surrounding me.

I know, I'm strange. *laughing*

There's a 'respectful' level of gooshiness in my book. Could be I have a strange book? Dunno....just feels 'across the line' in some social situations and in the company of some people. I'll undoubtedly want to figure out where those lines are and why I impose them in some situations and not in others. (I'm sorta like that....LOL....high need to know my own rules of engagement and what they're based off of....) But I think there's a respectful, acceptable level to several emotions depending on the company you're keeping and the circumstances you're in.

Could be that's incorrect and an assumption on my part......or a good excuse to not become emotional since I don't LIKE being an emotional creature. Loving is cool.........'emotional' is not.

*scratching head*

It's this 'feeling' jazz that I get hung up on time and time and time again.

:-/

Oh gosh....I feel a Barry Manillow song coming on...... LOL

LLAMRAF

Today's Reminder from the Reading Fairy

Has blaming and fighting and running and hiding and avoiding ever brought you anything of real value? Maybe it's time to turn around and realize that responsibility is truly a gift rather than a burden.

Choose to accept that gift of responsibility.

Butterfly Waltz

Ah.

I got out of my routine.

Dangerous things happen when I step outside of routines and 'disciplines'.

I miss the 'good stuff'.........

I do.

So tonight I caught up on some of what I do--because it works for me.

See, I land in places where I'm spoken to.

Dr. Seuss, tinctures of opium, colours of paint and not getting what we bargained for......and just what IS success....

All messages laid out for me from a Maker who loves me enough to see that they're available--if I just show up.

I haven't. Willy nilly.....hit and miss...... And then there's been the absence even in my presence.. None of those things work for me. They never have.

For years I've made it my business to fall out of bed and reintroduce myself, humbly, to my Maker. It's not that suspect He's forgotten, and no doubt that exercise is for me and my precious ego.....my fragile little freaking feelings that I can let become paramount.

They're not.

Visiting places reminded me.

And I'm humbled......again.

Beautiful flowers, reflections on the waters, mothers with their daughters in a crowd of 40,000........words bearing messages only I could know because they were designed for me (my Maker thinks I'm that special that He uses everyone in my path--He's smart like that....He loves me that much....).

I get it.

And I love all of you who helped me get it.

((((((((((((((( Everyone )))))))))))))))))))

Unjammed

Today's Thought

"I can't. I shouldn't. It's my fault." These self-abasing and self-defeating thoughts are expressions of shame. Because repeated thoughts turn into beliefs and long-held beliefs turn into actions, thoughts rooted in shame can lead to tragedy.

People who live in shame come to believe that it is not okay to make a mistake. They imagine they should know what to do without having to learn it. They think their wrong judgments mean they themselves are wrong.

But it is human to make mistakes. If we acknowledge we are human, we are defining ourselves as people who always have something to learn We are saying we have to keep going if our plans don't work out right away

"Thou shalt not be human" is the command of shame. What rubbish! How can we be anything else? Why would we want to be?

Cheeeeeeeeese

'When she's 10.....'

Yeah, yeah....it's always the taking back and handing over that makes me a bit sad. But I'm slowly starting to re-find the house--and just where I put those batteries from the vibrating cow that became "MY cow"......I'm yet to discover.

Oh, and there was a moment--arms ladened with vibrating cow, giant stuffed bear, heart pillow and the squishy pillow she'd slept with, she turned to the blankie on the floor and said "C'mon blankie." like it was going to obey. She was so dang cute when she said it I'm sure if the blankie had ears it would have obeyed. LOL She is her mother's child--who is her mother's child.

But she's gone now--and the house is once again quiet......a disaster, but quiet none the less.

Do I care that it's a disaster? Notsomuch.

It isn't going anywhere.

Ah--but she did turn into a crabby wee thing as I'm informed she's inclined to be when she's not feeling her best. Yup--she's got a cold going on. Grandad hadn't really experienced the 'I'mhavingaMEMYMINE' moment and got to the past two days.......over and over and over again. *laughing*

No worries--he assured me she'd be back for another long weekend......"When she's 10....."

*rolling eyes and laughing*

Yeah, right..... Mr. Shecancomeagainwhenshe'sten put her in the van to go home with the girl and 1o minutes later was looking at a new selection of Thomas the Tank Engine books.

He's such an easy schmooze......LOL

Ten

Fairy Reading

I can let go of things and people and my need to control today. I can deal with my feelings. I can get peaceful. I can get calm. I can get back on track and find the true key to happiness - myself. I will remember that a gray day is just that - one gray day.

Omgosh am I tired......

The whirlwind is again a lump.

(There is a G-d! LOL)

Nana's tired....I don't mind admitting it.

We did a walk and the park this morning and this afternoon--outside with the trike, amusing the neighbors as Nana pushes the trike and the bug says "Bye grandad" ....every time I push past the front door.....which is mannnnnnnny times. She didn't want to quit--but alas, Nana had dinner to finish up.

Which Nana did. (yes, Nana cooks on rare occasion!)

Which was JUST enough time watching Thomas the Tank Engine with grandad for the lump to reappear.

It was a very quiet dinner.

Well, 'cept for the two adults who looked at each other to say "I'm tired....omgosh am I tired....." over and over and over again.......LOL

No worries--she won't be a lump for long!

Omgosh will I sleep well......