Quilt Barn #65

Daily Wisdom

Relax

Too often out of sheer habit we tighten up, tense up, and then approach life from that stance. When we have something to do, our automatic response may be to tense up– shoulders and neck strained, back bent and cramped, breathing shallow. But anything that needs to be done can be done better if we're relaxed.

Learn to relax. Program your body, each part of it, to let go and be at ease. Allow yourself to come into your natural posture and alignment. Learn to relax until moving, acting, speaking, being all come naturally from this relaxed place.

Find activities that help you do this. A hot bath. A massage. Sunning. Walking. Meditating. Teach yourself to become aware of how your body feels during these activities. Memorize that feeling. Practice relaxing until you can recall that memory and carry it throughout your day.

Periodically thoughout the day, take a few moments to check your tension level. If you find any part of your body tense, take a few more moments to consciously relax that part. Visualize warmth and ease flooding any part of your body that has become tight or is in pain. Let the tension, the stress, the blocks drain out from top to bottom. Your body wants to relax. It wants to become comfortable. It wants to heal itself.

Empty your mind of tense thoughts, and let it follow your body into relaxation and calm. Allow your mind to become still. Quietly accept each thought, then release it. Breathe in comforting, healing energy. Breathe it into your mind, into each cell of your body. Breathe out stress, strain, discomfort, and fear. Don't resist what you are feeling or thinking. Accept it, then release it. Just as water cannot pass naturally through a pinched hose, your vital life force cannot flow freely through you if you are cramped and tense.

Honor the life force that is in you, that flows through you. Honor it by relaxing, opening to it, and inviting it to surge through your body.

Thoughts of the Wise

Tears are summer showers to the soul.

– Alfred Austin

All our lives, we have been told that time would heal all wounds – and that if time couldn't then the doctor would.

There are few things which may feel as final as a diagnosis of chronic illness. Chronic means forever — and we can never hardly conceive of a problem that will never go away. We may find ourselves crying over and over again, and wonder if the tears will ever end.

For many of us, our tears were how we began to grieve. Grief was how we started to heal ourselves emotionally from the burden of "forever." The tears we shed helped cleanse our thoughts and bodies so we could move on to live the rest of our lives. Today, our grief and weeping will help us continue to grow.

Free!

Sleeping with bread....

I've had some quiet time this morning, in between getting the ribs browned and in the slow cooker--and getting to my Sunday morning A.A. meeting.  *sigh*  I've needed every moment of 'nourishment' I can get my hands on.

It's the little things life hands me that I've been giving power to--and not the 'gifts', but the trials.  They've gotten a lot of my attention.  The 'crud' that took me down for a number of days and the unwelcomed tiredness that came with it.  Then the eye infection which interfered with everything--the job, the household responsibilities....any form of light created 'someone's putting a spike through my eyeball' kind of pain.

And then there's the exhausting ever present chronic pain that we just can't seem to get a handle on.

All that physical stuff has been exhausting, robbing me 'normalcy' and 'having a life'.  Or so it seems.....

And during all that physical stuff--there's been moment of joy.  There's always moments of joy.  

I notice them.

I acknowledge them.

I remain grateful that I 'get' those moments.

I'd suppose I'd be having (what WPIML called) an "ungrateful snot" moment.

It's not feeling like "enough".

I know the true source is the chronic pain.  

I know it "could be worse".

I know I could have worse troubles than this.  I've experienced 'worse' troubles than this.  And I've experienced exhaustion in varying degrees--this isn't THERE yet.  

But THIS isn't going away.  THIS has no 'end'.

*sigh*  And THIS carrying on has no purpose--it changes NOTHING.

I have joy.

I have so many things to be grateful for.

I never dared to dream for what I have today.

Those joys are what I hang on to when I struggle.

And for some reason (because I MAKE it one...*sigh*) it is a struggle.

But I'll continue to interrupt the whining to give 'air time' to the wonders of spring unfolding, to the loving actions of a husband I never could have imagined having, to the miracle of life which will come to me as a wriggling sister/brother to the Bug, and to the opportunities to be of service to G-d and others that get dropped in front of me.  

I'll continue to let those things bring me the energy which I purport I do not have.   

I'll strive to NOT let this pain dictate my life.

If there's something "I don't have the energy for", THAT needs to be it.

The examen, based on the spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius, helps a person hold onto what spiritually nourishes him by looking at what is giving him consolation in his life or causing him desolation. 

It allows someone to express his gratitude to God for the good stuff and turn to him for solace for the bad stuff.

TFTD

Let yourself make mistakes

There are times we don't know which way to proceed or what to do next. We can become so blocked and stymied trying to figure it out that we just sit and spin our wheels. In those situations, the solution may involve making some choice– even if it turns out to be the wrong one.

Ideally, we can meditate on our choices and one way will feel right and clear, and the other won't. But in those times when we can't get clear, sometimes we have to give things a try. Take that job. Move into a condo. Date that woman. If it's a mistake, you can correct it as honestly, quickly, and humbly as you can.

You don't have to live life as perfectly as you think. Sometimes it takes making a mistake in order for us to get clear.

Spanning time

Reading from the Fairy

Using Others to Stop Our Pain

Our happiness is not a present someone else holds in his or her hands. Our well-being is not held by another to be given or withheld at whim. If we reach out and try to force someone to give us what we believe he or she holds, we will be disappointed. We will discover that it is an illusion. The person didn't hold it. He or she never shall. That beautifully wrapped box with the ribbon on it that we believed contained our happiness that someone was holding – it's an illusion!

In those moments when we are trying to reach out and force someone to stop our pain and create our joy, if we can find the courage to stop flailing about and instead stand still and deal with our issues, we will find our happiness.

Yes, it is true that if someone steps on our foot, he or she is hurting us and therefore holds the power to stop our pain by removing his or her foot. But the pain is still ours. And so is the responsibility to tell someone to stop stepping on our feet.

Healing will come when we're aware of how we attempt to use others to stop our pain and create our happiness. We will heal from the past. We will receive insights that can change the course of our relationships.

We will see that, all along, our happiness and our well-being have been in our hands. We have held that box. The contents are ours for the opening.

Daily Reading

Any time you sense you are getting overrun by outside influences and losing your feelings, put your attention inside your body. Relax. . ., let your breath sink low. . ., breathe in your abdomen. . . .

—ANNE KENT RUSH

When we are feeling as though all our energy is scattered throughout our bodies, we need to practice centering, or focusing this energy into one place. Our center may change from day to day, and each of us feels it differently.

When we're walking, we may feel power coming from our hips and spreading through the body, heart, and mind. When we're in a meditative mood, we may feel warm energy at the back of the head. At other times, we might feel a real centering place in the middle of the chest, right where our heart and arms and breathing come together. There is no one way to be at peace. Centering is a way for each of us to find and picture to ourselves our focused energy. When we can do this, we increase our power to bring about those things we want from life, those things we really do deserve.

TFTD

We are energy and vibration. When we're open, how easy it is to begin ticking to the rhythm of those around us. If we had kept ourselves locked up and put away, it would be different. But since we've chosen to be open, to be sensitive, to open our hearts and souls, we'll connect with, tick to, vibrations of those around us. Our energy fields will touch and merge. We'll begin to feel, and sometimes visibly take on, the characteristics, rhythms, and vibrations of those in our field.

Pay attention to, choose carefully, those with whom you live, eat, and play. There may be times when you can handle their energy, and times it isn't right for you. Sometimes, when we're feeling off balance, it may be that we're around energy that just isn't right for us.

Today's Reading

Acceptance

Surrender to the moment. Ride it out and through, for all it’s worth. Throw yourself into it.

Stop resisting.

So much of our anguish is created when we are in resistance. So much relief, release, and change are possible when we accept, simply accept.

We waste our time, expend our energy, and make things harder by resisting, repressing, and denying. Repressing our thoughts will not make them disappear. Repressing a thought already formed will not make us a better person. Think it. Let it come into reality. Then release it. A thought is not forever. If we don’t like it, we can think another one or change it. But to do that, we must accept and release the first thought.

Resistance and repression will not change a thing. They will put us at war with our thoughts.

We make life harder by resisting and repressing our feelings. No matter how dark, how uncomfortable, how unjustified, how surprising, how inappropriate we might deem our feelings, resisting and repressing them will not free us from them. Doing that will make them worse. They will swirl inside us, torment us, make us sick, and make our body ache, compel us to do compulsive things, keep us awake, or put us to sleep.

In the final analysis, all that we’re really called on to do is accept our feelings by feeling them, and saying, Yes, this is what I feel.

Feelings are for the present moment. The more quickly we can accept a feeling, the more quickly we will move on to the next.

Resisting or repressing thoughts and feelings does not change us or turn us into the person we want to be or think we should be. It puts us in resistance to reality. It makes us repressed. Eventually, it makes us depressed.

Resisting events or circumstances in our life does not change things, no matter how undesirable the events or circumstances may be.

Acceptance turns us into the person we are and want to be. Acceptance empowers the events and circumstances to turn around for the better.

What do we do if we’re in resistance, in a tug of war with some reality in our life? Accepting our resistance can help us get through that too.

Acceptance does not mean we’re giving our approval. It does not mean surrendering to the will and plans of another. It does not mean commitment. It is not forever. It is for the present moment. Acceptance does not make things harder; it makes things easier. Acceptance does not mean we accept abuse or mistreatment; it does not mean we forego boundaries, our hopes, dreams, desires, wants, or ourselves. It means we accept what is, so we know what to do to take care of ourselves and what boundaries we need to set. It means we accept what is and who we are at the moment, so we are free to change and grow.

Acceptance and surrender move us forward on this journey. Force does not work.

Acceptance and surrender – two concepts that hurt the most before we do them

Daily Tao

Make every move count.

Pick your target and hit it.

Perfect concentration means

Effortless flowing.

A life that is spiritual requires focused action. It needs quick reflexes, accurate timing, and abundant skill. That is why followers of Tao are always compounding their self-cultivation: They want the ability to do whatever they want.

Each day your life grows a day shorter. Make every move count. All that matters is accomplishing what you envision with the greatest dispatch. Once you do, that aspect of your interest is discharged, and you can then go on to some new interest. If you do not engage in this ongoing process of action, you will never satisfy all the various aspects of the soul, and realization will never fully mature for you.

Some assert that there is no end to desire, so we should undercut our ambition. But this doesn’t address the need for satisfaction. We need to have satisfaction in what we do in order to have a good sense of well-being. If we undercut our ambition, then we will never make any achievements nor satisfy our yearnings. This only leaves us with frustration, uncertainty, and timidity. Therefore, to follow Tao, we must identify our inner longings and dispatch them with a hunter’s accuracy.

Nailed

Follow as directed

When the bottle says "take 3 times a day for 7 days", they really DO mean it.
Even if it stings like crazy.

*sigh*
I can't even feign ignorance on this one.
Freaking "troubles of my own making".....back I go, sunglasses on.
Stupid eye infection......

Yes Fairy

 Learn to say yes

Learn to say yes, and mean it.

How long has it been since you’ve said yes to someone in your life? Yes, I’d like to do that. Yes, that sounds good to me. Yes, I’ll take a chance.

How long has it been since you’ve said yes to yourself? Yes, I recognize what you’re feeling. Yes, I heard what you want. Yes, I realize you’re tired. Yes, we’ll rest for a while.

When opportunities come our way– whether for personal, spiritual, or business growth– don’t always be so cautious and shy. So what if yes means you’re not living up to someone’s expectations? Sometimes we learn to say no so well that saying no becomes a habit. We don’t even consider what we’re turning down.

A well timed yes is as important in manifesting our power as learning to say no. It’s a sign of an open heart.

Next time someone asks you out, suggests an opportunity, or your body tries to talk to you, stop, Instead of immediately saying no, like a parent on automatic pilot, listen to the offer. Could it be an important one? Something that might help guide you along your path? Maybe you’re scared. Maybe you’re worried that you aren’t up to the occasion. Maybe you like the safety of saying no all the time.

Learn to say yes to life.

Honesty, openness, and willingness to try. Hmmmm. Sounds a lot like yes to me.

TFTD

 

There is only one happiness in life … to love and be loved.

–George Sand

It took me many, many years to really and truly discover what turned out to be something that I have yearned for all of my life. That “something” was love ~ both the ability to love and to accept love.

As a child, I felt I had to achieve to be loved and, in the process of achieving, lost a great deal of my childhood. This carried over to adulthood and thus began the years of doing what was expected of me (or so I thought) in order to be loved, valued and respected.

I have learned so much about myself and about love. One of the greatest truths I have learned about myself and my ability to love is that for me to love someone, it is not necessary that they love me back. My loving someone else never depends on their loving me … but how wonderful it is when they do.

Reading for Today

Sometimes things seem like good ideas and aren’t, really.

–Piglet

Ask for guidance first.

Self-will is a tricky thing. So are impulse behaviors.

We’ve heard of impulse buying– making a purchase quickly and without thought, based on monetary impulse. It’s easy to get caught up living our lives that way,too. So often, we run off in the heat of the moment.

Spontaneity is good. Saying yes to life is good,too. But impulse living can get us into trouble. We can overreact to a problem, then sit in a heap of regrets. Sometimes, the next step presents itself clearly, in a flash of inspiration. Sometimes, we’re meant to go forward and not let our fears and negative thoughts hold us back. Sometimes, we’re acting on impulse and may end up sabotaging ourselves.

Ask for guidance first. It takes only a second to check the map and see if the turn we’re thinking of making is where we really want go.

River snake

TFTD

Problems and conflicts are part of life and relationships – with friends, family, loved ones, and at work — problem-solving and conflict negotiation are skills we can acquire and improve with time.

Not being willing to tackle and solve problems in relationships leads to unresolved feelings of anger and victimization, terminated relationships, unresolved problems, and power plays that intensify the problem and waste time and energy.

Not being willing to face and solve problems means we may run into that problem again.

Some problems with people cannot be worked out in mutually satisfactory ways. Sometimes the problem is a boundary issue we have, and there is not room to negotiate. In that case, we need to clearly understand what we want and need and what our bottom line is.

Some problems with people, though, can be worked out, worked through, and satisfactorily negotiated. Often, there are workable options for solving problems that we will not even see until we become open to the concept of working through problems in relationships, rather than running from the problems.

To negotiate problems, we must be willing to identify the problem, let go of blame and shame, and focus on possible creative solutions. To successfully negotiate and solve problems in relationships, we must have a sense of our bottom line and our boundary issues, so we don’t waste time trying to negotiate non-negotiable issues.

We need to learn to identify what both people really want and need and the different possibilities for working that out. We can learn to be flexible without being too flexible. Committed, intimate relationships mean two people are learning to work together through their problems and conflicts in ways that work in both people’s best interest.

Today's Reminder

Value Your Connection to Creativity

Creativity is a force– a living, real force. It’s the power of love, the power of life, a gift of the Divine. You’re connected to that force.

Open up to your creative powers– in work, in play, in love. Make creations that are beautiful to look at. Make creations you like to see, creations that are pleasing to you. Creativity comes in many forms– cooking, decorating, speaking, drawing, writing, or building a castle in sand at the beach. How you choose to create is up to you.

“I used to love taking pictures when I was a child,” one man said. “Then one day, in a rage, my father smashed my camera to the floor. He told me taking pictures was nonsense. It was twenty years before I let myself take a picture again. Now, I can’t stop.”

Who told you you weren’t creative? Stand tall, speak up, and tell them they’re wrong. Own your creative powers. Allow your creativity to heal and flourish.