Sleeping with Bread

Barukh atah Adonai, Eloheinu, melekh ha'olam
Blessed are You, Lord, our G-d, King of the Universe...

Yesterday I was honoured with an opportunity to hear a 5th Step.
Sage was burned, tears welled up ...and fell, a life filled with hate and anger and resentment was share.  Fears and shame, listed in black and white, tumbled out....  A lifetime of edging G-d out (ego).
There's a transformation that happens when you share the monsters in your closet.  I know this to be true.  I've done a number of 5th Steps myself....too many to remember how many.  But G-d has a way of tempering what and how much gets revealed to us .... and when.  Which is a great plan for me.  It's a great plan for any of us who have a lot of monsters.  G-d's smart like that.

I left, emotionally drained and spiritually humbled.
When I got home dinner was waiting and I plopped myself on the couch afterwards.  Himself takes good care of me and makes it an "easy" night when I do these 5th steps.  So he put something in the fancy blue ray player and just let me veg out on the couch.

If I ever needed affirmation about how small I am and how BIG G-D is, this one is going in the fancy blue ray player again. 
I knew from an earlier moment in time that leaning into what I know to do, was what I needed to do.

BE present.

Right here. 

Right now.

Give the rest to G-d…….those old beliefs, those old feelings, those old ways of thinking… 

My greatest consolation is that what I need to hear always, always gets delivered.
I'll add "Trust G-d and stay small" to my list since the King of the Universe felt a need to remind me.

Shalom.