*Reminder to Self*

(Thank you, Rubywelovetheshoes. As a keeper of 'reminders to self'--THIS is a 'keeper'.)
(but it's not what we think.....it's what we do, eh?--and there's yet ANOTHER reminder to self!!)


Who is Spiritual?

Last month on a major afternoon talk show, I saw a man in the audience smugly deride the host for her promotion of “spirituality.” He said proudly, “I’m religious, not spiritual!” On the other hand, I’ve seen people say things like, “Oh, I could NEVER be spiritual like YOU!” This just goes to show that most people have very little idea what spirituality is and who qualifies to be regarded as spiritual.

Spirituality is neither a movement of oriental and New Age mysticism, nor a manner of exaggerated saintliness. It is rather a combination of principles and qualities which is reachable by anyone, but rare because society fails to prize or emphasize their development — just as acquiring a “classical education” takes both knowing what it is and recognizing its importance.
So gaining spiritual qualities may well mean defying the will and customs of one’s family and community. But when one comes to appreciate these qualities, and regard their cultivation as the highest good, one is drawn as if by gravity to those experiences and awarenesses that allow them to bear fruit.

So what are some of these qualities?

1. FAITHFULNESS. Which may have nothing to do with religious belief, mind you. I am reminded of Tonto’s expression “Kemo Sabe,” supposed to mean “faithful friend.” Faithfulness means you can be readily relied upon, and comfortably trusted. There is a consistency and continuity to your effort, and you don’t back out just because of inconvenience. You “keep faith.”

2. GRATITUDE AND CONTENTMENT. You appreciate nature’s gifts and others’ kindnesses. You enjoy what you have even when striving for more.

3. HUMILITY. Neither to grovel or be low. You know your true position, and don’t need ego-strokes to do the right thing or flattery to feel appreciated.

4. KINDNESS. You enjoy being gentle and loving, even to a lost bug.

5. FORGIVENESS. You give up your right to stay angry and get even. You recognize that holding a grudge only serves to poison you.

6. HUMOR AND CHEERFULNESS. You see what is absurd, you are amused rather than thrown by the preposterous, and you enjoy arousing smiles and joy.

7. TOLERANCE AND PATIENCE. You can accept others’ differences, forgive their foolishness, and wait for them to change on their own schedule, not yours.

8. OBSERVANCE AND INSIGHT. This is not to observe ritual, but rather to observe nature, people, and your own inner processes. You are watchful of pattern and sensitive to real motives; you see to the heart of the matter.

9. PRODUCTIVENESS. Your actions are useful and purposeful. Even in recreation you engage in a little creation. While some goofing off is refreshing and even desirable, a life of goofing off is not your ambition.

10. PEACEFULNESS. It is more important to you to be serene than to be right or to be noticed. You gain an immunity to the nervousness of others.

11. BALANCE. You enjoy a little of everything, but none too much. You can learn to stop yourself before becoming obsessive or uncentered.

12. SANITY. Your values are consistent, life-affirming and human-scaled. You show integrity, honor, graciousness and decency. You have a realistic sense of what you can do and what you can’t do; and you can admit error.

13. WISDOM. You see the spirit in others, even when they’re trying to hide it. You are not easily fooled by the world of appearances. You know yourself, accept yourself, and embrace life. You know when to shut up.

14. PRINCIPLE. You have a blueprint for thought and behavior. You see the wisdom of acting on principle and the consequences (however occult) of betraying your principles. It is more important to you to do right than to be right; to do good than to feel good; to be courageous and grasp for more understanding and enlightenment rather than be thought well of and admired.

By this standard, there are people (I’ve met them) who would not meet a single qualification of the “true believer,” but are undoubtedly spiritual. Spiritual is as spiritual does. God knows the heart; we can but guess. c. 1999 David L. Hecht

*going to the corner*

He sings!
He dances!!

It's Mr. JibbaJabba Duck!



And there's only one way to make him be quiet.

Yep.......ya gotta choke him.

:-D

G'head......say 'sick and wrong'.

*snickering*

Many of us have gotten into a rut with rigidity, martyrdom, and deprivation.

One of the "normal" experiences many of us have been deprived of is having fun.

Another one is being spontaneous.

We may not have the foggiest notion what we would like to do for fun.

And we may hold ourselves in check so tightly that we wouldn't allow ourselves to try something fun anyway.

We can let ourselves go a little now and then.

We can loosen up a bit.

We don't have to be so stiff and rigid, so frightened about being who we are.

Take some risks.

Try some new activities.

What would we like to do?

What might we enjoy doing?

Take a risk.
Then, take another risk.

Practice having fun until fun becomes fun.

I'm PRETTY certain the fairies weren't talkin' to me this morning.
BUT......in the spirit of cooperation (yes, I know that's a naughty word in my life...LOL) I'll be making a copy of this reading and showing it to my boss before the administrative meeting I get to go to today.
.....G'head--just LET him try to take away Mr. JibbaJabba!!

Pickled!

Yes, this is wood, a brush and stain....well, pickling if that counts for 'stain'.
This is the floor of our front porch that had been hidden away for years under indoor/outdoor carpet.
WHY I didn't rip that carpet up when I refinished the porch, I dunno.
But I'm liking that I scrubbed the black off to find decent wood underneath.
And I pickled it today.
This was after the fella showed up to replace the steps and not the deck/porch. (yes, I'm still sore about that--I was kinda looking forward to a new look to the front of the house)
This was also after the tree chopping dude showed up and chopped off branches of the front tree. They were coming dangerously close to the roof. Branches went bye bye, old steps went bye bye, and Mel went on her hands and knees to sand/stain.
Himself lasted two planks. LOL

It's painful to be his age.
*snickering*

Ah well, someday, if the Big Guy deems it, I'll become his age and I'll be entitled to groan and moan and be cranky like him!
Woooohooooooo!!! Can't wait!!
The good news is, I can just sorta ease my way into!! He'll get crankier and I'll still look good! LOLOL

In the meantime, we have a pickled (g'head and laugh..we are) front porch floor.
Go figure.

AND we took a leisurely walk about the neighbourhood.
"Why?" (himself wasn't seeing any value in it, though he started it with his remark about all the elderly couples who strolled by the house this evening)
I assured him it was good for people with heart problems and high blood pressure to get out and walk....and that's why all the old peoples are out there walking!
I think it was the "Let's go for a walk!" that got me the evil eye.
But please note that he did go for an old people's wander with me.
Yep.
And we spied in the backyards of the many.

I made sure I let him know that if *I* was an old person who talked funny and was looking for a nice little house on the corner to live in---I'd chose this one!
That got me another evil eyed look.
He's sooooooo sensitive and I really did mean that as a compliment.

Mostly.
LOL

QOTW June 10

Do you find it easier to talk about touchy subjects over the internet, as opposed to face-to-face or over the phone?

As long as coffee happens, I'm thinkin' I'm good for any medium.

'Easier'?

*scratching head*

I suppose there's some elements that do make it 'easier', at least for me.

Frankly, I've always been more forthright if I put things in to print.

Which is why I'm pretty practiced in putting things out there, I'm guessing.

But I've learned to say and talk some things I never thought I'd be saying or talking.

'Easier'?

Gosh.

I might have to say 'yes'. LOL

Yes?

Catchup

I'm tryin' to catch up....really I am!

Ever get a phonecall 12:30a.m.?
I get 'em on occasion.
Mostly some crisis at work.
Sometimes to suit up and show up and be of service to someone who's floundering and needing someone to show up.
I shoved myself outta bed, tossed on some clothes and showed up.
I showed up until near 9a.m., which means Mel was operating on nil sleep on a Saturday ---and I'm was NOT about to spend the entire day making up for the lost sleep. Ohhhhhh no.
Himself kept trying to get me to go sleep.
I was trying to get some things done.
He says I was slurring words.
I say he made it up!
Sleepless and farting around with 'stuff' around the house is one thing.
Sleepless and farting around with 'stuff' around the house while a Brit follows you, quite another.
That mumbling about operating heavy equiptment and driving was annoying, to say the least.

I ended up resting for three hours--which meant a muddled brain the rest of the afternoon and evening. (yes, himself won!)
But I did the right thing at 12:30a.m.
People don't just need someone during 'bank hours'.
Showing up might take some sleep from you, but it brings more than you lose--that one I'm convinced of.

I'm still feeling a bit 'off' today.....
Himself assures me that he doesn't notice.
Initially I was glad for the the validation.....then I whapped him.
Obviously I'm a tad 'off' if I wasn't catchin' that one when he aced it my way.
*rolling eyes*

So far it's been a butterfly and birdie watching, scraping paint from a porch so I can repaint it sometime in the near future kinda day.
OH.......and decorating for July 4th.
(I'm blaming the neighbour lady for that one......she started it!)
(Let's not talk about the bantering when himself ASSURED the neighbour lady that HE'D hardly be the one to be decorating our independence.
*snickering* Sore loser, he is!!
Oh.....And roasted turkey breast for dinner!

Of course himself is making dinner.
I'M the one outside scraping paint, running the sander and muttering.
(g'head and point out what's wrong with that picture if you must--I LIKE it this way!!)

Baby Robin and Mr. Robin out for a leisurely worm or two.

They were just too cute......until the dad decided to halve a worm and cram it down Baby's little robin beak.

Ewwwwww.

T(s)FTD

We have messages to give and messages to receive for the good of all.

Sometimes our egos keep us from hearing the very words that would unravel a problem in our lives.


How hard it is, how often, to be still and to fully listen to the words, rather than the person.


How much more familiar it is to filter the message with our own ongoing inner dialogue-our own ongoing continual assessment of another's personhood at the very time a message is trying to reach us through them.



There really are no wasted words.
Messages are everywhere.
We can learn to listen.

Followed by:

Don't panic!
If a swimmer was crossing a great lake, then suddenly focused too heavily on the distance remaining, he might start to flounder and go under - not because he couldn't swim, but because he became overwhelmed by panic.
Panic, not the task, is the enemy.

Many of us have moments when we feel crowded and overwhelmed.
We have times when we feel like we cannot possibly accomplish all that needs to be done.
For a moment, it is helpful to look forward and envision the project.

It is normal, when we look ahead at what needs to be done, to have moments of panic.
Feel the fear, then let it go.
Take our eyes off the future and the enormity of the task.
If we have envisioned the goal, it will be ours.
We do not have to do everything today, or at once.
Focus on today.
Focus on the belief that all is well.
All we need to do to reach our goal is to focus on what presents itself naturally, and in an orderly way, to us today.

We shall be empowered to accomplish, peacefully, what we need to get where we want to be tomorrow.
Panic will stop this process.
Trust and guided action will further it.
Breathe deeply.
Get peaceful.
Trust.

Act as guided, today.
We can get back on track by treading water until we regain our composure.
Once we feel peaceful, we can begin again, with confidence.
Keep the focus simple, on one stroke, one movement at a time.
If we can make one movement, we have progressed.
If we get tired, we can 'float' -- but only if we are relaxed.
Before we know it, we shall reach the shore.

*conversely conversing*

I know you've been very generous and goshdarnit, I don't want you thinkin' I'm not grateful.
And I know YOU know how selfish I am.
But I don't think this one is ALL about me....really I don't.
Well.... Some of it is.
I like getting my way.
I also know the difference she's made in the lives of kiddos and big people that you've crossed her path with.
I know the difference she's made in MY life.
And yes.......she knows cuz I've told her..and told her.....and told her til she's asked if this is a sign of 'old age'. She's a butt like that sometimes.

Sooooo......Okay. Maybe this IS more about me than I'm being honest about?

I really would like her around for a while longer, yaknow?
She's gotten a whole three years worth of time cuz of the interventions you've done on everyone's behalf.....and I'm really, really, really grateful. And I mean REALLY grateful.

BUT.
(Yeah, I knew YOU knew that was coming.....)
*sigh*
You know my heart.
You also know my selfish little ways and what's what here.

So I'll just shut up and remind you that I'd still like my way--if you don't mind.
And yes, I know you didn't particularly need reminded of that fact.
But.... please?

*sigh*

*ding ding*

One cannot have wisdom without living life.--Dorothy McCall

Understanding circumstances, other people, even ourselves, comes with the passage of time and our willingness to be open to all the lessons contained within a moment.

We must be willing to participate fully in the events that have requested our attendance.

Then we can discover the longed for clarity about life and our role in it.

We all long for happiness, an easier life, and wisdom.

We learn so slowly that both happiness and the easier life are generally matters of attitude.

Therein lies our sought-after wisdom.

How much simpler it makes living through even our most feared experiences when we have acquired the wisdom to know that the mind we carry into the moment, any moment, will be reflected in the outcome.

It takes patience and willingness to live fully enough to reap the benefits that accompany wisdom.

TFTD

Words and magic were in the beginning one and the same thing, and even today words retain much of their magical power.--Sigmund Freud

We shape our experiences with the words we use to describe them.

Word images create expectations and we naturally move toward them.

When a person says, "I can't!" they are commanding their unconscious self to be helpless.

When they have a picture in their mind of moving toward their goal, they may say, "It's hard, but I'm going to give it my best effort."

If, every time they makes a mistake, they mutter berating statements to themselves like, "You idiot! You can't do anything right," they are teaching themselves to be inadequate.

It's our responsibility to use respectful, honest, health-giving words.

We can no longer use defeating, shaming, or derogatory words.

Let's meet our difficulties with our strengths and respectful words for ourselves.

Onethousandtimes...

Wow.

Post #1000.

Gee I talk a LOT!

Practical

*sigh*
Ya know how you wrap your head around something cuz it's gotta be done even if you won't wanna haffta do it......so you plan and you scheme and you end up kinda excited about it?

Yeah, well, I did....thinkin' we were replacing our front porch/deck cuz the stairs were having a problem.
I got out pencil and paper and everything!
I even drug himself outside to 'argue' if what I wanted was doable.
Promptly tore up the carpeting on the porch/deck and realized....hey....it's in really good shape, the railings are good......
It's just the stupid steps?
Just replace the steps?

*tossing plans out the window*

Practical says, do that.
But I was PLANNING, dangit.
Replace steps, clean wood that was under the carpet and move on?
Hmmmmph!
"Let's save the expense for when we need to do something?"

*grumbling*
Sometimes practical screws everything up!

Target practice

I think I spent the day 'trapping' people.
I can't say that it's an activity that I 'enjoy'. I've come to learn that it's required for doing what I do.

I'm quite good at it, of course. I've had loads of practice.
I can be fairly effective in helping young people take ownership for their stuff through asking well placed questions--apparently it's a 'fine art'. And apparently, I possess this 'art'?
Dunno that it's 'art', but I do know it's a quick think and it makes for some uncomfortable moments between the trapper and the trappee.
Go figure.

Sometimes I'm not wild about being accountable for my actions, either.
I mean, gimme a break. If I could anything I wanted with NO consequences for it.......Katy bar the door! Heck, I ignored the repercussions of my choices for a very long time. Blame, lie.....refocus.....blame some more......

Wisepersoninmylife is pretty good at those well placed questions to get answers that I might not particularly WANNA give but obviously NEED to give.
As a reward for that 'art' he displays with me, I've been known to make him the target of my......umm.....affections(?) on occassion(s).

Today I was the object of quite a few people's affections.
(see target above)

It wasn't a 'fun' time. Though, yaknow..... I got accomplished what I was needing to accomplish.
It's just good to remind myself of how much discomfort I felt (and still can feel) when wisepersoninmylife 'traps' me into being accountable and seeing MY part.
It's also good to remember that being trapped into telling the truth was necessary in order for me to be able TO take responsibility without requiring a 'gun to the head' or a few well placed questions.
I had to be taught how to be honest.

"Simple" some folks will chime, "Just tell the truth."

Not so simple when you've spent a lifetime lying to yourself and the world around you to make it 'look different'.

I guess if it takes becoming the target of others love and affection (NOT!!) then so be it?


Ya suppose it's too much to ask that they aim a little LOWER so the pain's in my arse and not in my heart?

QOTW 6/4

So.....

What’s something you lent to someone that you’d really like back now?

Smoothie maker blendery whozit machine, please.

Though, it's in good hands, living a happy and usefull life with the girl.

Howscome I never used it when I had it but since she made me a smoothie, blended doodah I've been wanting another and wished it were back home?

Just so I could make ONE mind you.......okay......maybe two or three.....dozen....LOL

*ETA: ...k....maybe that smoothie maker blendery whozit machine is RIGHT where it oughta be, huh?

Sunday Rain Sun Rain Sun Day

After coffee and a few chats (I'm always good for a few 'chats'...frankly, I need everyone around me doing what they do to stay the course cuz I can get a bit........sidetracked, dontchaknow....) I decided to chuck the work I'd been avoiding (yessir, there's a difference between avoiding and chucking it!) and cop a bit of that patio time that's been so rare as of late and get some weeding done.

G-d, of course, had other plans......LOL

No worries. I'm sure His intent was to take care of those plants I stuck in the ground yesterday AND save the weeds from their 'death by Mel'.

And no worries--I can still be outside cuz this is what carports are for, right?

Yeah, well, this is what Mel's carport is for.

Well, that and the Jeep.

SORTA for the Jeep--cuz even when the Jeep's home, it's rearend is stickin' outta the carport so there's space for MEMEME.

(yes...it's all about ME!)

*shrugs*

So, I read and drank suntea....for about a whole thirty minutes.

And the thunderboomers got kinda intense and the wind picked up and the flowers got a really thorough watering......(thanks, Big Guy!).

Cue Mel.......next adventure!!

And I have sculptey erasery clay to play with!!

:-)

*looking out the window*

'Bout the time I finishing smooshing the clay around and actually start to assemble some blobs in a manner that others will recognize--the sun'll be out again...and I'll be off and running in a different direction.

It's Attention Deficit heaven, this kinda day!

No wonder I'm not grumblin' about it!

The price of letting go

Happy Birthday to the boy.

He turned 22 today.

And I'm grateful.

Really I am.

There was a time I was convinced he wouldn't 'see' 22.

I kept getting in his path trying to ensure he'd be alive to see 22...until I moved his insurance policy atop of mine and 'let go'.

I got to see him on Friday when he appeared to pay his respects.

Not the funnest of circumstances to begin with, but there you have it.

I know it was an awkward moment for him...

....and for the mother of his children.

It felt more sad than anything else to me.

He and I have some sad circumstances between us.

We chatted a little. Or rather, he chatted with his sister.

He couldn't quite look me in the eye.

Fact is, he barely looked in my direction.

But he looks good.

Whole arm scorpion tatoo, minus the piercings (professed to his sister he always takes them out when he's going to be entering a church)....healthy, almost happy ....maybe happy if he weren't feeling the awkwardness?

I got the sense there's happiness IN him.

That brings me a great sense of peace.

We almost didn't have 22 happen.

I know this.

Somewhere in him I know he knows this as well.

But he's on the planet today. And he looks better than I've seen him look in years.

At 22--isn't that a horribly sad but powerfully joyous thing?

If it took me getting out of his way to bring him here, I'm so grateful.

Hole in my heart that there is.....I'm grateful.

Happy Birthday, Boy.

May you come to know more happiness and joy in this deal we call 'life'.

You really are loved beyond, beyond........

Note to self......

Many of the things you do will feel insignificant or insufficient--but it is still important that you do them anyway.

Saturday Sun Day

Whispy clouds and big poofy clouds! It made for a great distraction.
Actually, what it made for was the first day without rain in five days.
Which meant--get out and do some yard work.
No worries, I like playing in dirt and mowing the lawn....LOTS.

So I planted flowers--yeah, yeah....MORE flowers.
And I mowed.
AND I trimmed, AND I filled up the birdie feeders, cleaned out the birdie bath whozit AND I made dinner.
Okay..so that wasn't a huge deal cuz we had was a really GOOD salad....

And I finally--FINALLY got to sit on the patio and watch/listen to the fountain thingy.
FINALLY!!

It's way cool--even if I do say so myself!

Now for the hotfudge cake. Mmmmm.....served warm with a dab of ice cream!

:-)

Walking with Sorrow

I walked a mile with Sorrow,
And ne'er a word said she;
But, Oh, the things I learned from her
When Sorrow walked with me!-- Robert Browning Hamilton

In the arms of an angel......

When the girl calls you on the phone, choked up and unable to speak and you're greeted with a "yep......hang on, gimme a sec........."--your heart falls.

It just does.

I don't particularly like wakes or memorial services.

But I'll make the journey--

"I lied mom. Remember all those times we talked about you dying and I told you I'd be 'okay'?....I lied."

She'll be okay. She just doesn't know that yet.

Bless all of those who feel that empty spot in their world from the loss of their father, their husband, their grandfather....their friend.

In the arms of an angel.......