Every once in a while I lose myself in the moment and let it look just like it is.
I don't like it.
I look stupid.
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Ownership (*reminder*)
After an emotionally charged, difficult day at the office let me remind myself:
You 'own' your 'shop' and everything in it.
That's not a possessive kind of ownership--that's a 'responsibility TO' kind of ownership.
You ARE responsible to everyone involved in and connected to the program that's 'yours' to manage.
From the Functional Family Therapists, to the Psychotherapist, to the kiddos, to their parents/guardian.....from the cook, to the Psychologist, to the Principal, to the Psychiatrist....from the primary staff, to the night staff, to the supervisors, to the volunteers who show up week after week in hopes of making even just one kiddo's day--you have a responsibility to them all.
k.....Not always an easy, simple, smooth sailin' kinda thing.
Sometimes things get messy and murky and icky and all scrambled up into a heaping, writhing, discombobulated mess.......doesn't matter--you still have a responsibility TO them all.
It takes a whole lot of energy--mental energy, physical energy.....emotional energy....
And yup...... you get tired.
But tired doesn't give you a 'please excuse Mel from being responsible TO' pass.
There's a really cool thing that happens when you persevere no matter what....no matter how tired or sad or discouraged or disheartened you may feel....miraculous things happen when you persevere and BELIEVE.... no matter what.
Granted, it's not always Mel's physical energy being spent--sometimes you're just the one directing traffic.
(k....you don't do well as a 'traffic cop'--and more times than not, your hand is in the till. You DO seem to have this huge problem with keeping that hand out of folks' till......)
You still have that 'responsibility TO' deal.
No matter what you do, you can't seem to lose it or shake it or make it less than it is.
It's not 'just another job'.
You 'own' your 'shop' and everything in it.
And that's what's RIGHT for YOU.
You 'own' your 'shop' and everything in it.
That's not a possessive kind of ownership--that's a 'responsibility TO' kind of ownership.
You ARE responsible to everyone involved in and connected to the program that's 'yours' to manage.
From the Functional Family Therapists, to the Psychotherapist, to the kiddos, to their parents/guardian.....from the cook, to the Psychologist, to the Principal, to the Psychiatrist....from the primary staff, to the night staff, to the supervisors, to the volunteers who show up week after week in hopes of making even just one kiddo's day--you have a responsibility to them all.
k.....Not always an easy, simple, smooth sailin' kinda thing.
Sometimes things get messy and murky and icky and all scrambled up into a heaping, writhing, discombobulated mess.......doesn't matter--you still have a responsibility TO them all.
It takes a whole lot of energy--mental energy, physical energy.....emotional energy....
And yup...... you get tired.
But tired doesn't give you a 'please excuse Mel from being responsible TO' pass.
There's a really cool thing that happens when you persevere no matter what....no matter how tired or sad or discouraged or disheartened you may feel....miraculous things happen when you persevere and BELIEVE.... no matter what.
Granted, it's not always Mel's physical energy being spent--sometimes you're just the one directing traffic.
(k....you don't do well as a 'traffic cop'--and more times than not, your hand is in the till. You DO seem to have this huge problem with keeping that hand out of folks' till......)
You still have that 'responsibility TO' deal.
No matter what you do, you can't seem to lose it or shake it or make it less than it is.
It's not 'just another job'.
You 'own' your 'shop' and everything in it.
And that's what's RIGHT for YOU.
ACK...OMGosh......who told.....
When the inside feeling does not match our outside appearance, we need to become vulnerable again.
We need to talk about how we really feel.
We need to do what's necessary to let our outsides match our insides.
Maybe little secrets we have been holding have deadened us.
We need to do what's necessary to let our outsides match our insides.
Maybe little secrets we have been holding have deadened us.
Perhaps we haven't admitted a pain in our life.
Maybe we have been seduced by the power of looking good and have traded away the genuineness of being known by others.
Take the risk to be honest and genuine, today.
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Today's Fairy Reminder
It's an old and unfortunate habit that we look around outside ourselves for happiness. We can never be sure of it if we count on certain conditions to guarantee it.
However, we can always be sure of happiness if we carry it with us wherever we go.
The happiness habit can be developed, with practice.
We can control our own thoughts.
The decision to make them happy ones is ours to make.
Monday, August 04, 2008
Tonight's Sunset brought to you by.......
.......himself!!
I was suppose to say no when he made the offer to take me on a country road to watch?!
C'mon....he even had the camera bag in hand when he made the offer.....
:-)
:-)
Thought For The Day
Sometimes, to get from where we are to where we are going, we have to be willing to be in between.
One of the hardest parts of having a different life is the concept of letting go of what is old and familiar, but what we don't want, and being willing to stand with our hands empty while we wait for God to fill them.
Being in between isn't fun, but it's necessary.
It will not last forever.
It may feel like we're standing still, but we're not.
We're standing at the in between place.
It's how we get from here to there.
It is not the destination.
One of the hardest parts of having a different life is the concept of letting go of what is old and familiar, but what we don't want, and being willing to stand with our hands empty while we wait for God to fill them.
Being in between isn't fun, but it's necessary.
It will not last forever.
It may feel like we're standing still, but we're not.
We're standing at the in between place.
It's how we get from here to there.
It is not the destination.
Sunday, August 03, 2008
QOTW 8/3
How are you today?
Well, now go figure it's the simple questions that trip me up, everytime!
How's Mel today?
How about "upright, breathing and on the right side of the grass"--and when all three are happening......the rest is just fluff.
Really--the rest IS just fluff in my life. Sometimes I give more air time to that 'fluff' than I oughta. I mean, really--I have whiney Wednesday for a reason...put it out there (cuz face it.....sometimes 'fluff' is just plain dumb!)--get over it and move on!
Mel is good!
Life.......is good!
I have wireless!!!
Life.....is REAL good!! LOL
Life.....is REAL good!! LOL
Today's bit of fairy dust......
You can choose to focus upon what seem to be limits and become a slave to those perceived limitations......or you can let go of your resistance and be ready to receive the experience that's being offered to you.
Saturday, August 02, 2008
Mel the stubborn......
Some one is going to have to explain to me why I refused to indulge in a wireless system for so long.
Cuz lemme tell ya, there's something to be said for sitting on the patio swing, suntea next to me, laptop active....listening to the rest of the world work whilest I sit and type and gloat.
*snickering*
I'm thinkin' that's not real kindly........
.......please note that I did finish all the contact notes AND got the lawn mowed AND did the laundry BEFORE I parked it here....thankyouverymuch!
Cuz lemme tell ya, there's something to be said for sitting on the patio swing, suntea next to me, laptop active....listening to the rest of the world work whilest I sit and type and gloat.
*snickering*
I'm thinkin' that's not real kindly........
.......please note that I did finish all the contact notes AND got the lawn mowed AND did the laundry BEFORE I parked it here....thankyouverymuch!
TFTD
If you wish to make clear and unmistakable progress, be of service. If you seek to create great value, be of service.
When your strategy is to grab all you can as quickly as you can, you will be met with debilitating opposition.
When your strategy is to grab all you can as quickly as you can, you will be met with debilitating opposition.
When your strategy is to be of genuine service, your support will run far and wide.
It is foolish to think that you can fight against the world. Instead-choose to work for the world.
At any age, in any condition, for every circumstance, there is much you can give to life.
It is foolish to think that you can fight against the world. Instead-choose to work for the world.
At any age, in any condition, for every circumstance, there is much you can give to life.
Look for what you can offer, there is much that you will find.
Friday, August 01, 2008
Today.......
Today, while the blossoms still cling to the vine
I'll taste your strawberries,
I'll drink your sweet wine
A million tomorrows shall all pass away
'ere I forget all the joy that is mine....today.
I'll be a dandy, and I'll be a rover
You'll know who I am by the songs that I sing.
I'll feast at your table,
I'll sleep in your clover.
Who cares what the 'morrow shall bring.
Today, while the blossoms still cling to the vine
I'll taste your strawberries,
I'll drink your sweet wine
A million tomorrows shall all pass away
'ere I forget all the joy that is mine....today.
I can't be contented with yesterday's glory
I can't live on promises winter to spring
Today is my moment,
now is my story
I'll laugh and I'll cry and I'll sing.
Today, while the blossoms still cling to the vine
I'll taste your strawberries,
I'll drink your sweet wine
A million tomorrows shall all pass away
'ere I forget all the joy that is mine......today.
Isn't it funny how some things just pop into your head?
And isn't it amazing how things you could have forgotten remain remembered.
Tonight instead of 'Rubber Duckie'....this is the song I was singing.
Word for word....without any effort whatsoever.
Strange--especially considering there were eight duckies having a good float around in the tubbie.
Of course--sticky notes are still required for that ten minute jaunt between home and the grocery store....LOL
There's just toooooo much in my brain. It's a given that something is gonna fall out!
;-)
I'll taste your strawberries,
I'll drink your sweet wine
A million tomorrows shall all pass away
'ere I forget all the joy that is mine....today.
I'll be a dandy, and I'll be a rover
You'll know who I am by the songs that I sing.
I'll feast at your table,
I'll sleep in your clover.
Who cares what the 'morrow shall bring.
Today, while the blossoms still cling to the vine
I'll taste your strawberries,
I'll drink your sweet wine
A million tomorrows shall all pass away
'ere I forget all the joy that is mine....today.
I can't be contented with yesterday's glory
I can't live on promises winter to spring
Today is my moment,
now is my story
I'll laugh and I'll cry and I'll sing.
Today, while the blossoms still cling to the vine
I'll taste your strawberries,
I'll drink your sweet wine
A million tomorrows shall all pass away
'ere I forget all the joy that is mine......today.
Isn't it funny how some things just pop into your head?
And isn't it amazing how things you could have forgotten remain remembered.
Tonight instead of 'Rubber Duckie'....this is the song I was singing.
Word for word....without any effort whatsoever.
Strange--especially considering there were eight duckies having a good float around in the tubbie.
Of course--sticky notes are still required for that ten minute jaunt between home and the grocery store....LOL
There's just toooooo much in my brain. It's a given that something is gonna fall out!
;-)
Yesterday.......
I was contemplating finding bed and buying a bit of time before going into work cuz of how 'fuzzy' I felt-- when the phone rang.
You 'defuzz' quickly when you get one of those calls.
Or at the very least you rise above the fuzz.
It didn't take me long to get to the worksite.
Unfortunately I arrived just as the heavens opened up and gale force winds coupled with monsoon-like rain hit.
And there was one of the cars with it's sunroof open--with the staff member out of town in the agency vehicle doing agency business.
And there I am, getting defuzzed again--this time by the wind driven rain, stuffing the blanket I had in the car into the open sunroof.
I was drenched through and through--I might as well have stood in the shower with my clothes on.
This seems to be a week of wetness, all the way around.....
I graciously accepted the towel for my dripping hair and asked one of the therapists to go to the house and retrieve me some clothes from himself--and she'd need to explain to him why that was needed.....cuz I wasn't going to make the time to ring him--I was gonna meet with the kiddo.
Everyone was grateful for that.
Sometimes I get to do unpleasant, uncomfortable hard hard things.
Yesterday was one of those times.
She thought I was funny when I took her out of summer school, my clothes sticking to me, my hair dripping water.
I asked her to come talk with me in the empty, adjacent schoolroom.
The whole classroom was chuckling at the sight of me.
How do you approach a 17 year old young woman and give her the news that her mother was discovered dead in her apartment this morning?
What are you say when she looks at you, rolls her eyes, laughs and tells you to 'shut up!'?
And how do you say to her that the note found indicates that her mother claimed her own life?
You just do.
You find the words.
You tell her the truth.
You hold on to her in your dripping wet clothes when she drops to the floor and sobs uncontrollably.......
....you drop and you cry with her.
You 'defuzz' quickly when you get one of those calls.
Or at the very least you rise above the fuzz.
It didn't take me long to get to the worksite.
Unfortunately I arrived just as the heavens opened up and gale force winds coupled with monsoon-like rain hit.
And there was one of the cars with it's sunroof open--with the staff member out of town in the agency vehicle doing agency business.
And there I am, getting defuzzed again--this time by the wind driven rain, stuffing the blanket I had in the car into the open sunroof.
I was drenched through and through--I might as well have stood in the shower with my clothes on.
This seems to be a week of wetness, all the way around.....
I graciously accepted the towel for my dripping hair and asked one of the therapists to go to the house and retrieve me some clothes from himself--and she'd need to explain to him why that was needed.....cuz I wasn't going to make the time to ring him--I was gonna meet with the kiddo.
Everyone was grateful for that.
Sometimes I get to do unpleasant, uncomfortable hard hard things.
Yesterday was one of those times.
She thought I was funny when I took her out of summer school, my clothes sticking to me, my hair dripping water.
I asked her to come talk with me in the empty, adjacent schoolroom.
The whole classroom was chuckling at the sight of me.
How do you approach a 17 year old young woman and give her the news that her mother was discovered dead in her apartment this morning?
What are you say when she looks at you, rolls her eyes, laughs and tells you to 'shut up!'?
And how do you say to her that the note found indicates that her mother claimed her own life?
You just do.
You find the words.
You tell her the truth.
You hold on to her in your dripping wet clothes when she drops to the floor and sobs uncontrollably.......
....you drop and you cry with her.
TFTD
Do not be dismayed at how long the journey will take.
Instead, be thankful and enthusiastic about the one particular step you can take right now.
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