Today's Reading from the Fairies

Some of us easily slip into a pattern of saying "I'm sorry" every time our mate/friend/family is offended or unhappy with our actions.

We want to please, or we hate conflict, so we choose the appearance of peace and its good feelings rather than trying to truly resolve and repair problems.

Genuine repair starts with regret and follows up with efforts to change our behavior or attitude.

If we just give empty apologies and do not back up our words with actions, we put ourselves down and drain the trust from our relationship.

A genuine apology is personal, clear, and specific.

It suggests a change in future behavior.

The personal part says I am sorry that I hurt you; the clear and specific parts name exactly what action we regret; and then we say how we will make repair.

If we say, "I'm sorry you feel bad," we are expressing sympathy, but we are not apologizing for our behavior.

Ughhhhhh.....

When you wake up with a headache, you try almost anything to make it go away.
Functioning is required, afterall.

Yeah well, functioning with that kinda headache wasn't happening.
Tried....failed.......found bed.

I'm wandering toward civilization.
It's a slow wander--but it's a wander.

There's only seven messages on the machine--one on the work cellphone...four on my personal cellphone.
Ohhhhhhh.....I just love phones...

I'll answer.
I know folks are concerned. 'Specially with himself over there.
SOMEhow they're concerned that I'm not taking care of me?
Like I didn't do it for years and years before himself showed up in my life?

Yeah, yeah...I know. It's 'okay' that people care about me.

I'll answer messages and see if I can keep upright.......that'd be good.

Another Thought from the Fairies

To truly grow stronger, you must step beyond what is comfortable and familiar.

Beyond the comfort of what you already know, you'll find the wonder and magnificence of all you really are.

You are designed and equipped and intended for great things.

Another cup of cofffee.......

Yup.....I'm alone. And I do too much thinking when I'm alone.

WPIML didn't need to remind me of that--apparently he felt it was necessary to call that fact to my attention.

Yup. I'm alone.
And Yup......I do too much thinking.

I'm not sad.
k....I am sad about the circumstances for The Brit's mum. And I've no doubt it's a difficult thing for him to get to contend with--and he's contending with it alone. He's an 'only child'. I'm sure it feels particularly lonely, getting to do what he's getting to do.
I'm not an 'only child'--attending to stuff with an ailing step-parent was a lonely affair when it was time for me to do it.
It didn't matter how many people were attempting to stick their hand in that till--it was a lonely, sad and sometimes scary affair.

It just gets to be how it is today.

WPIML didn't wanna talk about The Brit and the mum and the circumstances that drove the decision to send himself solo. Go figure he wanted to talk about me.

MEMEME.......*sigh*

I don't particularly wanna talk about MEMEME, tyvm.
I'm good with simply doing what's in front of me.....

Wanna talk the inside workings......nope, pass.
Geeze....everybody knows that Mel having too much time with Mel is a baddddddd plan.
Including Mel.

Which is why shampooing the carpets happened straight out of the gate.
And why closets have been reorganized.
And why crafty stuff has been sorted through and straightened.
And why all those silly floppy thingies got put onto a memory stick....
*sigh*

But I'm running outta things around this joint that I wanna do.
Note that I said 'wanna do'.
And I'm getting myself into that place of 'danger danger Will Robinson!!!'.
I know it.
WPIML knows it.....

He suggested maybe doing an extra meeting or two......I just don't have the desire. And I'm not bothering to find the energy at this point.
Going to see the bug is an option that I've executed more than once. The girl knows me and my crazy thinking--she's kept an 'open door' policy going....Nana gives her a break and the bug makes me happy.....it's that darn simple.

But alone happens.
And yup......WPIML has just cause for concern.
I don't have to pick up a drink to get that whacked out thinking.......heck, I've not picked up a drink for some time now....
Doesn't mean the whacked out thinking is gone.
I'm clear it's not.

So......keep busy.
Find another cupboard to clean, another area to straighten.....another person to ring.....another work-related thing to toss myself into.....
Cuz I'm thinkin' too much.
And I'm ruminating over stuff I don't get to control or change today.
And some of the circumstances--are just hard.
Thinkin' about 'em makes me scared.......

And I do not do fear well.

Yo ho ho........

Oh now--no one was really expecting me to forget Talk Like A Pirate Day, were they?

Aarrrrrrrrhhhh me maties.......it be 'round th' corner!

Aarrrrrrrhhhh.

Aarrrrrrrrrhhhhhhh! (just practicin'.......LOL)

Today's Fairy Reading

My parents believed in honesty and hard work and they passed that on to me.--Monty Cralley

Most of us can think of a number of things we can credit our parents with.

For some of us there may not be as many good legacies as bad, however.

But time has marched on and we can't redo a bad past.

Nor does it help to continue rehashing it in our minds.

Our parents simply passed on to us what they had learned.

If it wasn't all good, let's hope we learned enough from it to break the pattern before we passed it on to our children.

Let's focus on the blessings and the positive experiences in our lives.

While it's true that we learned something from every experience, even the ones that seemed vile at the time, the more pleasant ones helped us interact in a more hopeful manner with others.

The more hope we had, the more hope we inspired in our friends, too.

There was no better quality to pass on to others.

We are still passing on ideas and impressions to others.

Every opinion we share, every favor we perform, every moment we intently listen to someone talk about themselves is our opportunity to pass along something positive to a person who needs us.

Our work isn't done.

I will pass on something I can feel proud of today.

Fairy Reminder

Some of us have gone through life unconsciously expecting others to bring us happiness, to make our dreams come true, and to make us feel good about ourselves.

When nothing seems to be going well for us, we blame it on the lack of external support - we're not in a serious relationship, we don't like our job, we don't have the money to venture into our own business.

When we change our perspective - when we know and trust that we are responsible for our happiness, our dreams, and our feelings - we become empowered.

No longer is the burden on someone or something that is either unreliable or nonexistent.

We'd been giving this power to others; now it's time to take it back, to make and be responsible for our own choices, to value our opinions, and to respect our intellect.

So--

The Brit's 'mum' is home. They've given her a pacemaker and she's apparently feeling a whole bunch better.....thank goodness.
I hear tell himself makes a good nurse--organizing pills, getting her to where she needs to be.
It's a good thing.

She's feeling less scared--it's a very good thing.

Himself wants to talk about when he's returning, of course.
And of course, I'm not talkin' it until they get a few weeks under their belt.
LAST time he tried to talk it, she was having seizures from the stroke and they discovered her pulse at 42......hence the pacemaker.

We ain't talking his return yet.
He can be grumpy about that all he wants......sheeeeeeeeshhhhh
He'll just have to get over it.....plain and simple.

She's home.
He's there playing nurse.

And I'm here contemplating when I'm gonna mow the lawn.

Inbetween loads of laundry, I think.
And vacuuming.
And dishes--the few that there are.

And disciplining the stupid shoes that STILL aren't listening to me about returning to the shoe rack in the bedroom when I tell 'em to go there......

Darn shoes........

TFTD

The desire for what we don't have prevents us from appreciating and enjoying what we do have - right now, this moment.

We often sell ourselves continual dissatisfaction by focusing on what we appear to lack.

Ah yes....... :-)

This mornings' cuppa java--in the whitecup spidery mug.

Oh, it's a glorious morning!!
Sunrise was pinks and reds and just gorgeous!

<-- wrinkled, sadddddddd spider

HAPPY Studley!!!

<--- HAPPY Mel!!!

Today's Thought

Every time we share with another human being, we add something to our spiritual bank account, allowing us to draw on it when extra demands are made upon our courage.

In the measure in which we share our burdens, they become lighter.

I can't take it any more......

I'm sorry.

I've tried to be patient.
I've tried to be objective.


I can't do it.
I guess, in some aspects I've failed--they're pretty basic skills to utilize and I just.....can't......for whatever reason.

I've tried to buy time.
I've tried to put it on the back burner and just not give it a whole lot of thought.
I really have tried to be sensitive to the needs of other people.....



None of it's working.
I've run out of patience and objectivity.

I'm done.

DONE.




Please don't be disappointed in me......



I'm taking Studley out of the box and inflating him in the basement.
I'm freeing the 8 foot spider.


:-/

Things that make me happy.......

....smelly candles in a quiet house.

....colour your month calendars. :-)

....a brand new purple pen cuz I was a 'good manager' and wasn't naughty when I coulda been. YEAH ME!!!

....the bunches of postcards on the coffee table all scattered about.

....Pirate windsocks for the carport. :-)
(yep.....Talk Like a Pirate Day is coming!!!! Wooohooo!!!!)

....the thought of Halloween coffee mugs appearing on the counter.
k.....maybe not just the THOUGHT of 'em....*snickering*

....graffiti-ed, chopped and twisted stolen smiley bowl photos.


*smiling smugly and batting eyes*

TFTD

We often unnecessarily complicate matters by thinking we have to face things by ourselves.

Uncomplicate it--let someone be present for you.

We'll see how well I do......

Today I’ll make a list of things that I would like to do, just for me and no one else.

Once upon a time I had a very good psychologist friend ask me "If I gave you a day that you could do whatever you wanted--but it could only be for YOU and for no one else.....what would you do?" (He's still my friend, by the way...I didn't 'x' him off the planet, though I did threaten it a time or two)

I believe the answer was "Sit paralyzed in my rocking chair......"

I took my whole worth and value out of being a 'helper'.
I was dumb like that.....darn good thing G-d is very patient with me.

So........anyway........

LIST!!!
(if it's in black and white and I give it to another person(s), I'm more apt to actually 'produce'--Please keep in mind it IS 'handful Wednesday'.....ohboyohjoyohhappyday!)

• Light a smelly candle upon return from work and stink up the whole house.....(pumpkin spice was the secretary's choice--is she GOOD or what?!)
• Do NOT open the worksite's program from the house. Stay outta that sucker--and MEAN IT.
• Pull out the fluffy quilt and toss it on the bed. It's cold in the wee hours nowadays.
• Sit on the patio and watch the sunset......partly cloudy works--please cooperate, ty.
• Put on Kate Rusby. You do know how to operate the CD player ON the computer....nevermind the big dealy thingy that goes to the six speakers in the livingroom....... So what if it's been here for 5 years--learn to do that another day and get over it.
• Warm up those boiled peanuts and don't measure or count so you're 'on target with the protein grams'. Whatever....LOL
• Ohhhhhh.......COLOUR with crayons!!!! You got a new 'colour your month' calendar--get it out and do it tonight!! :-)
  (k.....I'm getting excited now!!!!!!)
  
  
  PLANS just for MEMEME!!!!!! :-)
  
  

QOTW 9/2/09

Do you use 'designer' checks? What's the last check you wrote?


Yup. I have funky checks. *laughing*
They are 'typically' ME!

I don't write a lot of checks any more. Darn debit card......

The last check I wrote was yesterday--to the secretary. She was doing a fundraiser for a gal who's undergoing chemotherapy. So I bought two candles--her choice of scents. (I trust her choices.......LOL......her office always, always, ALWAYS smells good.)

Just for the record, I use a 'twistable' crayon to write out my checks.
And yup--the bank was a bit confused by that one.

They got over it. *laughing*

More Dust from the Fairy

Today I’ll make a list of things that I would like to do, just for me and no one else.

Excuse me while I try to make this make sense

So.

50 grams of protein a day is recommended for an average person of.....ummmmm.......my age.
(WHATEVER!!!!)

And a cup of peanuts in the shell is (hold on a second......)--

8.5 grams of protein.

Right.
Stupid Ensure shakes have 12 grams.

k......
So.......

That's six cups of peanuts?
SIX?!

Righhhhhhtttttttt.

Four shakes as opposed to six cups of peanuts.


Oh c'mon.......gimme a break here, will ya?!

And how much protein is in a 6 ounce steak? 32 grams
And how much protein is in a 6 ounce chicken breast? 36 grams AH HA!!!!!!

HELLO!!!!!!
Well then.

I can do this.

One chicken breast, two cups of peanuts in the shell.

NO MORE STUPID ENSURE SHAKES.

Gosh........
Is there a REASON I waited a stupid YEAR to do the math?!?!

Oh yeah.....

I hate math.......

(I hate Ensure shakes more than I hate math.......)

Another visitor fluttered by........

Message from the Reading Fairy

No - simple to pronounce, hard to say.

We’re afraid people won’t like us, or we feel guilty.
We may believe that a “good” employee, child, parent, spouse, or Christian never says no.

The problem is, if we don’t learn to say no, we stop liking ourselves and the people we always try to please.
We may even punish others out of resentment.

When do we say no?
When no is what we really mean.

When we learn to say no, we stop lying.
People can trust us, and we can trust ourselves.
All sorts of good things happen when we start saying what we mean.