The Law of Diminishing Returns

Anyone know what that means?
I'm told it means that the first time you do/implement something, it's all good. The second time it loses some of it's flash. The third--some of the zip. The fourth or fifth--no pizzazz at all and then it all gets tossed out the window cuz it no longer works.

This is the 'Law of diminishing returns'.
This is bunk and unacceptable to me--it's an excuse to not follow through, a legitimized excuse in the eyes of some people around me.

Sorry.
You can sell it and package it and reap your rewards off some other sucker.
This is pretty close to what I told my boss. LOL I think I've made it clear that I can be a mouthy one.

It bothered me enough when it was said that I challenged it's validity. It continued to bother me.....Enough that I pointed out I'd been working the same program with the same steps and the same freaking principles for 30 YEARS--and it hadn't diminshed one iota. IT STILL WORKS--don't TALK to me about 'the law of diminishing returns'.
(I can get mouthy, huh? LOL)

Not that 'new' is a bad thing--but why is it necessary to hide behind some 'law of diminishing returns' to excuse our own lack of willingness to work what works?

"Committment: the ability to follow through on a worthy decision once the emotional excitement of that decision has worn off and it is no longer convenient."

This is what's pasted, literally, on the front of my calendar which goes with me every day.
It's a good thing to remember.
It's the what disempowers that 'law of diminishing returns' that some folks decided was a 'good enough' excuse.
It's not an excuse that will work with me.

I'm a committed person--committed in my job, in my relationships, in my calling, in my investment in the lives of other people, committeed in doing 'right' even when it's not comfortable or convenient.

G'away if you want to toss some 'law of diminishing returns' in my direction as an excuse for not following through.
It's not a 'good enough' excuse.

I'm gonna counter with a law of my own.
Yep......Mel's Law........sh*t or get off the pot.
Or is that one already taken? LOL

Another cuppa coffee

Yesterday the intercom at the backdoor invited me to a cuppa java.
Well, not the intercom itself, but the fella who pushed it.
I took a cup and went....mostly cuz I'd use any excuse for a cuppa coffee and a chat with a kindred soul.

It was S., a pigeon from years back whom I'd worked with for six years.
He's sober today--and he'd come to visit with a pigeon of his own.
It was an "I'd like to drink." moment for S.'s pigeon, J.
S. had brought him to the picnic table where he'd had a similar conversation with me at a time when he wanted nothing more than to drink.

I said to J. the same thing I'd said to S..
It's your choice. You have that freedom of choice to drink..........you've simply lost the ability to STOP drinking, but nevermind that piece...g'head and drink. It's a luxury you really can decide on.

I suppose I sounded heartless.
S. tells me I'm simply 'transparent'--I'll say it and not be overly concerned about anyone's fragile little alcoholic feeling....I'm more concerned about their life.

He'd lost a baby to a misscarriage two weeks ago--and he'd like to drink about it.

I genuinely was sorry to hear about the loss. But.....No----WE'D lost a baby and the right place for him to be was with his wife, helping her (and him) walk through that one together.
Besides, the loss of the baby was just the cover for the bigger truth.....he's not being honest about those secrets he keeps which he believes define HIM.
Toss the loss of a child on top of the heap of 'stuff' we're not willing to be truthful about--and it looks like a plausible, understandable and 'forgiveable' excuse for picking up a drink today, dontcha think?
He's not being honest--with himself or anyone else around him.
He 'wants different'--he's just not willing to do the deal to GET different...or maybe he is now--dunno.

Either way--So be it......been there done that.
Drank again, over and over again, because I wasn't willing to tell the truth about Mel.

Who LIKES being that rigorously honest?

Ya know, I think the answer is "I DO!"
I like being free from all that crap that I convinced myself defined my worth and value in the world at large.
I like not having to do that battle, day in day out.
I like knowing what that foundation to freedom is bourne from.

I can't give that away.
I can't convince anyone that it's worth it.
But I can get reminded constantly of what I can have anytime I want to go back to lying to me and the world around me.

Pass.
It's bigger than "I won't drink today, thanks."
It's more like "I won't live lies."
Nor will I live, diminished through my own choice-- to be less than what I am or was designed to be.

I don't know if I helped J. make a different choice.
I prayed for him last night and again this morning.

I do know that J. helped me stay firm in the choice I need to make for me, today.......and hopefully tomorrow.
And I did thank G-d for the messenger.........

I know I repeat myself.......

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do."

"Love is what we are born with.
Fear is what we learn.
The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts.
Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth.
To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others is the meaning of life. Meaning does not lie in "things".
Meaning lies in us."

Lovin' how I wanna.......*chuckling*

Sidewalk painting 101. I'm thinkin' I'll get better at it with practice! Strategically placed--visible from the kitchen window.... *snickering*

It's somehow more fun when you don't say a word and just walk about snickering and huggin'.
*chuckling*
AND I unhooked the garden hose! LOL

Oh gosh golly, what a shame.....no rain forecasted til Thursday......
Wooooohooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whose property?

It is wise for us to identify who owns what. Then we let each person own and possess his or her rightful property.
If another person has an addiction, a problem, a feeling, or a self-defeating behavior--that is their property, not ours.
If someone is a martyr, immersed in negativity, controlling, or manipulative--that is their issue, not ours.

If someone has acted and experienced a particular consequence--both the behavior and the consequence belong to that person.

People's lies, deceptions, tricks, manipulations, abusive behaviors, inappropriate behaviors, cheating behaviors, and tacky behaviors belong to them, too.
Not us.

People's hope and dreams are their property.
Their guilt belong to them too.
Their happiness or misery is also theirs.
So are their beliefs and messages.

If some people don't like themselves, that is their choice.
Their choices are their property, not ours.
What people choose to say and do is their business.

What is our property? Our property includes our behaviors, problems, feelings, happiness, misery, choices, and messages; our ability to love, care, and nurture; our thoughts, our denial, our hopes and dreams for ourselves.
Whether we allow ourselves to be controlled, manipulated, deceived, or mistreated is our business.

In doing things a new way, we learn an appropriate sense of ownership.
If something isn't ours, we don't take it.
If we take it, we learn to give it back.

Let other people have their property, and learn to own and take good care of what's ours.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Good information--something I needed LAST NIGHT when himself decided he needed to go for a drive before he did something unkind to the neighbor who was playing music outside, too loud for the Brit's liking.
(keep in mind it was 10:30pm on a Saturday evening, please)

And leave he did--with a flourish.
(I think my response was to wave bye-bye to him. I'm sure I didn't appear the epitome of compassion.)

When he did return, I got a weak apology (good enough, considering he was still bent out of shape).
I don't happen to view the circumstances as he does. Fact is, I don't see it as a problem--10:30 at night isn't 'unreasonable' for a weekend. If it were to go past 11:30pm, I'd become irritated. After midnight--whole 'nother story....

Somewhere in the self created chaos (his, not mine....LOL) I opted to ask a really STUPID question.
Afterall, these are the neighbours TODAY. This is the neighbourhood TODAY. Nope, it's not what we moved into four years ago.
"Do we need to give some consideration to selling the house and moving--cuz this IS the neighbourhood TODAY."

I got an "I think so!".
Now, that was NOT the answer I wanted, dangit.......LOL
Still, it's the answer I got.

We're not talking it today--clearly he's still displeased with the neighbourhood noise factor.

Heck, I'm pleased to have giggling children and the splashing in the pool that they brought with them.

As far as I can see--it's a move to the depths of the country OR --a retirement village. LOL
I'm not willing to do a retirement village, for obvious reasons. (call it pride and ego--well, that and we really wouldn't 'qualify'--well, *I* wouldn't! *snickering happily*)

It's not my deal.
Not my issue.
I become a bit edgy when it becomes made my deal--but goshgolly, there I was embracing it AS my deal to fix, when it's not.

Heck, as far as I'm concerned, it's not broken!

BTW--the music was turned off at 11:03pm last evening. (we know this because one of us was watching the clock while the other one of us was locating the 'non-emergency' number for the local police department to hand off TO the one watching the clock so they could ring if that was their little heart's desire).

Nope--I'm not feeling a need to pack up a house and move cuz music was being played til 11:03pm on a Saturday evening.
I AM feeling a need to shove the reading in his direction and tell him to accept that it's HIS PROPERTY and I don't have to sign up to pay property taxes on property that's NOT MINE!
11:03pm hardly qualifies as 'an ungodly hour' on a Saturday night.
Perhaps I'm tolerating the intolerable?

*chuckling*
Nah.

And I won't shove the reading in front of him , of course....
I hope. LOL

I'm just gonna love him how I wanna.

Let him let go where he needs to go with this one.
If he wants to let folks live rent free on his propery--run it til the wheels fall off.

I did post the 'non-emergency' number on the phone list we hand inside the cupboard door. (this cuz neither of us can remember squat)

Okay--truth be told, it's the number for the local ice cream shop.

Hey....
They're open til midnight. LOL

7/9 QOTW

How do you respond when asked "So, what do you do?"

I simply tell folks "I work with kiddos and their families...and you?"

It generally works...LOL
Giving the long winded version and keeping it on ME makes me nervous........only cuz it's rare that folks actually 'get' what it is that I DO do.
Besides, I find other people's lives entertaining and interesting. I'm living this one very well, thanks.... so I know it pretty much insideout. LOL Tell me about yours!

We had an adventure!

It was one of those mornings when you look at each other and do the "What do you want to do today?" "I dunno.....what do YOU wanna do?" "I don't mind--what would you like to do?" One of THOSE mornings....when you make the other one nutzoid by not really minding what appears on the agenda.
So.....we packed a lunch and had an adventure! When all else fails--get in the Jeep and find out where you end up--and that's exactly where you wanted to be and what you wanted to do, only you didn't know it when you got IN the Jeep.

So meet my new buddy, Chuck.
Exactly how much wood could a woodchuck chuck? Dunno...Chuck was indulging in water grass.
Apparently he's into dietary awareness?
Chuck was too cute--I'm cursing the camera that didn't capture him as cute as he was. We'll be visiting Chuck again soon, if I have anything to say about it.
Hopefully the camera WILL take a decent photo next visit!
It was quiet, it was peaceful...and we saw: a cedar waxwing birdie, a titmouse birdie, a redheaded woodpecker, 4 deer (one smack dab in the middle of the road--and she wasn't moving for love nor money!), Chuck, two different kindsa trout, lotsa ground squirrels (cousins of Mikey who resides at our house, no doubt), geese, dragonflies, water skating bugs and an eagle.
It was a grand adventure!
AND we had a picnic!

:-)

I like the end results when neither of us really minds what we do--bottom line is: it's always an adventure when we're doing it together.

BTW--Chuck said he'd LOVE to come live with us!
We have a neighbour with a HUGE woodpile.
I don't think he'd miss a few if Chuck needed something to gnaw on.......
We could get him a bed and everything!

:-)

Two

As in 'twins'.
As in two boys.

Two.




Twins.........







*checking for brainwaves*
Nope.
None.

Ya know--that child never could do anything in small doses.
Everything was 'big' and 'more'.

Two.
*sigh*

Pink monitors and messed up weeks

My week is seriously screwed up.
What were they thinking when they plopped July 4th in on a Tuesday?!
*sigh*
Yesterday was Monday for some reason and today is Tuesday, even though it's Thursday....
*holding head so it doesn't spin off*

I oughta celebrate--that means Friday will arrive tomorrow, which obviously means I'll be working half a week!

YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!
Woohoooooo!!!!!

Now-------about this pink monitor screen......

Uh huh.....it's pink.
And I don't like pink....never have, probably never will. It's just not on my 'top ten favorite colours' list.....'cept for flowers--cuz I like pink flowers!
Not more than white flowers or yellow flowers--but I can 'deal' with pink flowers...in moderation....LOL
However, pink seems to be the 'in' shade for the monitor screen on this computer desk.
It's been a slow process for the monitor--some days it can't make up it's mind and it changes midstream from white to pink, back to white and then back to pink.
Today it seems to have finally decided it wants to BE and remain pink.

I don't like pink--I know I mentioned that already.

Not only is my week messed with--so is the computer monitor.

HEY!!! *lightbulb moment*
Maybe it's just the Big Guy's way of helping me actually go GET that new computer system that I haven't quite been able to justify purchasing?
*nodding*
I'm sure that's it.

G-d WANTS me to get that new computer.

AND He only wants me to work half weeks!!

What a great fella!
I think I like Him------today.......LOL

BOOM!!!!!!!

Oooohhhh....
Ahhhh!
Wow!
Cool!
Whooooaaaaaaaaaaa......

:-)

Another Fourth of July

The signs are out in front of the house. "No parking by order of the Police Department".
Last week they were painting curbs and trimming trees along the parade route.

This isn't anything unusual.
We'll be hosting that hour long parade with every tractor/combine around, every girl scout troop, every 4-H group, every church group..... It's what little towns do--and we don't seem to be the exception.

And without exception is the unit's 'float' entry for the parade. And for the 16th year in a row, I suspect we'll take home a trophy for 'best of youth' or 'best theme' or 'best show'.
This year we've got a great float!
Every year we have a great float. LOL
SO great that keeping me OUT of the float planning committee is a must.
Personally, I think they're still harbouring a resentment from that giant box of 'Cheer' detergent that I came up with for the year the theme was "Cheer on the hometeam". It really WAS great! We had a bubble machine, white balloons for giant suds and everything! It was WAY cool!

Come to think of it--I believe that was the last year I was 'allowed' in the committee meeting.

This year it was a well kept secret.
I think the staff paid the kiddos to keep their little mouths shut. LOL
I think they feared I'd 'embellish' a good idea and add a little bit here and there to make it a GRANDER THAN DOABLE idea!
Yeah, well, I saw the 'stuff' that's going on the trailer. They did just FINE without my darn help.
My feeling would be hurt if all that didn't serve to energize and make it more fun for the staff and the kiddos.

So it's into work I go at 8am to get the kiddos organized around the float--putting the float together--and getting them all lined up and set to go.
It's an hour parade!
Amazingly, we have all the bitty towns around us show up.
I think it's the mass amounts of candy that get tossed.
And I mean MASS amounts. LOL
I know--I bought $100 worth on candy for the kiddos to toss.
Add the beads.
And the little paper airplanes.....and the pinwheels! :-)
Yes, the parade is a HUGE deal.

Add the fireworks to it and you've got a great fourth of July.
And this little town puts on one heck of a firework display.
We're talking an hour long display.
Ground and aerial.
HUGE deal.

The good news is we're right ON the parade route.
Better yet, we're at the start of the parade route. (Early in the route=LOTS of candy....LOL)
Tomorrow our yard will be packed with folks--most of who we'll know, some who will stray and toss out a blanket and make themselves at home cuz it's a prime place to be sitting.
Hence the 'No Parking by order of the Police Department' signs.

The Brit will be entertaining all by his little lonesome for the parade.
I'll be manning the float and keeping the kiddos feet tied to the ground. LOL They're wayyyy excited!
I suspect himself will be bombarded with handfulls of candy. I suspect several of my staff's families will be joining him in the yard.
And I predict I won't get one darn piece of that candy!

"It's for the little kids, Ms. Mel!"
Yeah, yeah.....I BOUGHT IT!! Geeze...they show NO mercy!! I will admit, it's loads of fun heisting a good handfull or two while you're waiting in the 90 degree weather for the parade to start.
Good news--I'm not REALLY planning to eat what I steal.
Bad news--I don't run as fast as I used to. LOL

They're saying 81 degrees and mostly sunny.
We're counting on it.
And we're counting on that trophey too, dangit!

I wonder if I could sneak just ONE tootsie roll into my pocket without getting caught........

FAT CHANCE!

TFTD--with a need not to be forgotten

So much of our communication can reflect our need to control.
We say what we think others want to hear.
We try to keep others from getting angry, feeling afraid, going away, or disliking us.
But our need to control traps us into feeling like victims and martyrs.

Freedom is just a few words away. Those words are our truths. We can say what we need to say. We can gently, but assertively, speak our mind.

Let go of your need to control. We do not need to be judgmental, tactless, blaming, or cruel when we speak our truths. Neither do we need to hide our light. Let go, and freely be who you are.

Today, I will be honest with others, and myself knowing that if I don't, my truth will come out some other way.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


You are here for a purpose.
There is not a duplicate of you in the whole wide world; there never has been, there never will be.
You were brought here now to fill a certain need.
Take time to think that over.

What if I was 'brought here now' to fill a need to agitate the byjeepers outta some folks?
Do I haffta do THAT in a kindly, tactful and nonjudgemental/nonblaming way?

LOL I can't help it--I'm just MADE this way!

7/2 QOTW

What's your favorite thing to do at work when you're 'goofing off'?

Terrorize the kiddos.
No fooling.



Last Friday I was pretty frazzled at work. It was Friday and Friday always means catchupifyoucan (and most times I stay until it IS caught up--so I'm makin' it work for me! Har!)
Particularly tough Friday, last Friday--catchup wise and acting out kid wise.
We'd all had a tough morning.

And then there was the "I'm gonna mess with 'em" moment. *evil grin*

Yep, I pulled a hair outta place and went about my business.

"Umm.....Ms. Mel? You have this stickey up piece of hair...." Of course, it's sheepishly said cuz they're embarassed to point it out.

"Yep--I know it's there, thanks for letting me know."

"Ummmmm.....you want me to get some hairspray from my room or somethin'?"

"Nope--I'm good to go."

(Obsessive Compulsive Disorder people don't LIKE things out of place.)

"You're not gonna leave it like that, are ya?"

"Is it bothering you?"

"YES!"

"Then I'm leavin' it, thanks. Accept the things you cannot change....give it a whirl!"

Frazzled child exits and I'm feeling quite smug. I can't COUNT the number of times that kiddos terrorized ME! LOL Revenge can be quite sweet!

Enter next child--do you get the sense I have a FEW OCD kiddos?

"Ummmmm....Ms. Mel? Your hair is kinda......well, it's, ahhhh, it's sticking out."

"Really."

Pointing and offering to stick it down is always an option--'cept the kiddos don't touch me cuz I'm not a touchey feely kinda adult. I leave that to the counselors--they seem to LIKE touchy feely stuff. PASS--thanksverymuch!

Seven kiddos in all--every single one of them kindly presented to me that my hair was sticking up in an uncontrolled and unacceptable fashion.....well, unacceptable to THEM.
I was snickering at the last three as I suggested they practice a bit of acceptance.

I think they figured out it was a conspiracy.

Enter Suzi.
Now, Suzi's the only child on the unit that I "allow" to touch me....or the only one who's brave/'insane' enough to dare to! LOL The kiddo's been there for a good chunk of time and she's not an emotionally well kiddo. She's enough trauma in her young life to last a lifetime. She's schizophobic and you can't help but love the child. Well, I can't help but love her. She's not presumptious with her 'hug'--it's a hug by her own definition. It's a head to whatever body part she can reach in her 4'10" splendor--generally it's her head to my arm and two very light pats on the shoulder with two fingers.
Friday it was two very light pats to the head RIGHT where the stickey outty hair was--and a squealing laughing child bolting down the hallway as I turned with a menacing "Suziiiiii...."

I did check with the kiddo and asked if 'they' paid her well for that one, figuring she (the only one on the unit who'll touch me without real or imagined severe consequences...LOL) had been bribed by a tribe of OCD kiddos who'd reached their breaking point.

"Okay, Suzi-Q......what'd they give ya for that one?"
"Whatchamean?"
"C'mon....fess up!" (I gave her my best stern look for a Friday afternoon--which worked!)

"A candy bar!" she giggled.

She was ripped off--she shoulda held out for a whole bag! LOL

Of Hopes and Dreams

Of hopes and dreams.
Of life and circumstances....
Of those things you get to control.
Of those you don't.




The call came on a day that I already was struggling with. Sometimes you borrow troubles-- somedays it can feel like the troubles find you.
Yesterday was a bit of both.
Work stuff, bad things happening to good people, grieving the loss of a relationship where the choice of remaining in the relationship was taken away from me...I was having a sappy Saturday, already on edge and wondering just how G-d could justify the seemingly unjustifiable.
Not fair, Big Guy......I'm doing MY part--keep up Your end of the deal, dangitallanyway......
Isn't that the way it OUGHTA be?!


I answered the cellphone........
It's the only number he can ring. I won't give him the home phone number.
That's been by choice.


He tries to sound happy and asks how it's going...it's the same brief awkwardness when we get connected.
It's been since January that I heard from him directly? Wow...
So he tells me the latest......He's been out of work for a month, nursing tendonitus in his shoulder. He can't say much for disability and couldn't get workman's comp because he couldn't prove it was from repetitiously lifting 40 pounds over his head daily.
His fines are paid off--finally.
Yes, he's staying out of trouble.
Nope, he doesn't have a car--he's gotta pay that fine and get his license back.
Yeah--that's the ONE fine that's not paid....
He's back at work now--but it's boring.
His girlfriend is pregnant and he's told almost everyone now--well, he's TOLD everyone now, except his dad...we were the last two on the list because he was scared.
Besides, he's had psycho-girlfriends before who've claimed they were pregnant and weren't...but this time he knows cuz he went to the doctor's appointment and heard the heart beat.
So, yeah....he's going to be a dad. Oh, that means You're going to be a grandma.
They're getting it figured out. But what's to figure out. She's pregnant and he's gonna be a dad, whether he wants to be or not.
So he'll have to buy kid stuff pretty soon.
Her name?
Kylie.....she's a lazy woman. And she gets on his nerves. She doesn't work and is on state aide insurance....she's been out of school since January and hasn't worked either.
Nobody's gonna hire her now--not with some huge belly going on...well, it's not huge yet. She's due November first, he thinks.
She'll GET huge though.
He supposes he'll go from living with his dad to living with some girl and a baby.
What's the plan?
Wellllllll....She'll have the baby and they'll share an apartment--what other plan is there, it's not like he can prove he's not the father.
Well, he's kinda convinced he's the father--even though her ex-boyfriend lives at her house with her and her parents...he supposes she could be lying and it could be his, but he kinda doubts it. And yeah, he knows it's a really messed up situation she lives in.
It's kinda always messed up with her--she's messed up--but what can he do?
She's pretty crazy. She never leaves him alone.
So, yeah--he'll be supporting himself and her and this baby--and you'll be a grandma. You're kinda young to be a grandma, huh?......well, maybe not TOO young.....
Oh--and he's gotta go cuz she just pulled up so we'll talk another time.
End his part of the call.

I stared at the phone and hit that 'dismiss' button.
If only it were that simple.......




Of hopes and dreams.
Of life and circumstances.....
Of those things you get to control.
Of those you don't.

Necessary Saturday Adventure

One blue dragonfly.
One gold dragonfly!
A view of the Mississippi.
The blue bridge that spanned the smallest space.
A small piece of the waters.
Sunshine on the Mississippi.
Reflections--

The sun and the river.

Trust me when I say it was a 'necessary' adventure.
A bit of road time, a few bugs..LOL....and a whole lot of open spaces, sunshine and water..... Absolutely necessary!

Didn't hurt that we sang in the car while we sipped our rootbeers on the way, either!

Tracks, trains and lily pads

I couldn't resist the train tracks and lily pads.......
And then there was the whistle!
And the train that went on forever.....
And ever......
Is this where I mention that there was a bonus second train on the other set of tracks?

Talk about timing. And I was calling it good to go when I took that photo of the empty tracks!

Broken red wagons

This is not my red wagon, for the record.
I have one.
It's not this one.

But I have a chant for today.
It's my chant and anyone else who'd like to join in is entirely welcome to do so.


You can't ride in my red wagon. The wheels are broken and the axel's saggin'.....

AGAIN!

You can't ride in my red wagon. The wheels are broken and the axel's saggin'....

You can't ride in MY red wagon! The wheels are broken and the axel's saggin'...

Yep.
You CAN'T ride in my red wagon. The wheels are broken and the axel's saggin'!!!
*snicker*

ALL DAY long that sucker will be stuck. LOL

"Note"

Note the frustrated looking reading fairy below.

I imagine she's getting darn weary of handing me the same lesson over and over and over and OVER again.

LET GO, dangitall!!

Small wonder she's looking kinda forlorned, huh?
*sigh*
Like I'M having a good time with this lesson for the gazillionth time?
There's a mighty steep learning curve on letting go.

TFTD (again.........)

Frequently, when faced with a problem, we may attempt to solve it in a particular way. When that way doesn't work, we may continue trying to solve the problem in that same way.
We may get frustrated, try harder, get more frustrated, and then exert more energy and influence into forcing the same solution that we have already tried and that didn't work.

That approach makes us crazy. It tends to get us stuck and trapped. It is the stuff that unmanageability is made of.

We can get caught in this same difficult pattern in relationships, in tasks, in any area of our life. We initiate something, it doesn't work, doesn't 'flow', we feel badly, then try the same approach harder, even though it's not working and flowing.

Sometimes, it's appropriate not to give up and to try harder. Sometimes, it's more appropriate to let go, detach, and stop trying so hard.

If it doesn't work, if it doesn't 'flow', maybe life is trying to tell us something. Life doesn't always send neon road signs to guide us. Sometimes, the signs are more subtle. Something not working may be a sign.

Let go. If we have become frustrated by repeated efforts that aren't producing desired results, we may be trying to force ourselves down the wrong path. Sometimes, a different solution is appropriate. Sometimes, a different path opens up. Often, the answer will emerge more clearly in the quietness of letting go than it will in the urgency, frustration, and desperation of pushing harder.

Learn to recognize when something isn't working or isn't 'flowing'. Step back and wait for clear guidance.

~~~~~~~
What they fail to mention is Guidance has it's OWN time frame.

AND they fail to mention who gets the blame for putting this reading in my book.
Darn reading fairies.........
*muttering*
If I thought this was a matter of 'rubber stamping' the lesson of the picnic tables, I'd celebrate. LOL

Picnic Tables

The simple lessons are the ones that bite me in the rear, every time. Apparently I need the lessons simple and clear.....elsewise I'm in for round 7,359 trying to 'get it'.
Could be that it's cuz I'm a stubborn cuss, huh?

So we have these picnic tables at work.
We've had them six freaking years. What do you expect from six year old picnic tables? I expect weathered wood and some falling apart to be happening (with 25 adolescents and their families, why wouldn't I expect that?!). Every other year we've set about sanding them down and staining them.
Could we afford new tables--probably. But the lesson for the kiddos is in hard work paying off, don't ya think? That's a lesson I'd like them to get....work hard, stick at it--and you too can make pretty picnic tables from weathered, gunky looking ones.

I'm pressed for time nowadays.
But I like that stuff.....gimme a sander and a couple kiddos and the outdoors. And give me the end product. In a life where I seldom GET end products, an end product is important to me.

I ended up passing on the picnic table adventure this year. More and more I'm discovering just what a 'busy woman' I truly am.
Leastwise I said I was going to pass......and an able bodied counselor decided she'd pick it up and do it with the kiddos.
It was a great thought.

I resented that I didn't have the 'time luxury' to do it.
I resented that MY project was confiscated. (...LOL....well, it'd been 'mine' for years, dangit!)
I resented that the other gal failed to follow through.
I resented that I was told I had 'more valuable projects' to spend my time on.
And I'm sure I looked obsessed when I picked up the sanders and took a couple kiddos 'hostage' to help me work on the darn tables.

And I stayed secretly poofy about it all, truth be known.
I had this teeny, tiny chip on my shoulder.

And I had two very crappy picnic tables.

We sanded the weathered tops and I wasn't happy with the end product. I thought I needed to give it up and go for brand new tables. Forget the lessons, forget the experiences for the kiddos--give up what I'd set out to do and give in to the time constraints--take an easier softer way. BUY a couple of new ones and get OVER it! And as I'm staring at the tables, resenting the whole experience and about to trash it all, someone moved to stand next to me and said:
"How about if you just turn it over?"

I did.
Literally and figuratively.
We turned over the wood planks.
I turned over the resentments.
I MADE the time and made it AS important as some of those 'more valuable things'.

The tables sanded down like new--with four coats of stain and varnish, they SHINE.
They're beautiful.
THE best looking picnic tables we've had in six years.

The kiddos who worked side by side with me are beyond proud.
They beat it to their parents car to announce that THEY'D done the tables--and aren't they just too cool.

And all we had to do is turn it over.
It's their victory and their lesson--supposedly.

I'll be confessing that G-d multi-tasked on those picnic tables.
And He did a beautiful job, too.
Everybody's shining.....