Baking 101

ROFL!!

Okay......so I'm NOT the best cook. I couldn't resist!!

I'm baking. Well, I'm not really baking at this moment--I'm waiting for cupcakes to cool off so I can frost them. And I'm waiting for two pans of brownies to cool off so I can cut them and put them on platters.

No, I'm not having a 'baking moment'......LOL

The Brit shook his head and told me to buy something to take to work tomorrow. We're having a family event at the worksite-- and as always, I'm baking for it.
The last time we had an event I had grand plans for cupcakes.
Of course, those grand plans didn't materialize because of circumstances beyond my control-- and I was racing home at the last minute to slap frosting on the darn things.

And here we are again--awaiting another event and awaiting another chance to frost cupcakes. LOL
I like decorating them--but I'm lacking the fancy stuff to go on 'em. Mostly cuz some girl snatched up the 'pretties' to make cupcakes of her own last time she was home....partly because I didn't plan ahead. (Go figure!) I'm blaming the staff who 'forgot' to tell me the event was this Sunday--until I was leaving, braindead, from work on Friday.

Last time it was a fiasco (the attempt to get them baked, not the event itself.)
LORD only knows what'll go awry this time!!

I just know I have a smelly house and a Brit who keeps eyeballing the goodies, whining that they couldn't possibly need TWO pans of brownies!
Any bets on the number of brownies that will need 'tested' before they go in for the event? LOL

Poker

My step-mother had a weird sense of humour.....the kind that sticks to the person she tossed it at.

Every time I see a darn poker - chip I think of that punch line to a geeze AWFUL joke: "YOU brought her, YOU poke 'er."
*shaking head* Oy........I'm blaming HER!

There's a step I work that reads "Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs."

That's step 12.
And I'm rather fond of step twelve work--not always HAPPY about it(cuz at three in the morning when someone calls for help--it can be a bit inconvenient! LOL), but I'm fond of it nonetheless.
I'm all about helping others today. I've learned that's a huge part of who I am and what I'm purposed to do.

It's the "to practice these principles in all our affairs" that gets most folks. Everyone likes to be helpful--some for good motives, some for self-serving motives. Face it--recovering alcoholics LIKE to be on top. *chuckling*
But ask someone who claims to be working step 12 exactly what principles they're practicing..........and you're bound to get a dumbfounded look.

*chuckling* This is where I wanna ask who the wisepersoninTHEIRlife IS and beat 'em with the big stick. LOL
C'mon--it's basic stuff.....don'tcha think that's an important piece to hand out? How can someone practice principles if they don't KNOW what principles they're practicing! I'm not 'allowed' to beat the wisepersoninTHEIRlife with a big stick--it's not principled living. LOL

Honesty
Hope
Faith
Courage
Integrity
Willingness
Humility
Brotherly Love
Justice
Perseverance
Spirituality
Service

BTW, there's a reason they're in the order they are--they build OFF of one another. Being of 'maximum service', which is what we each strive for, means those other 11 ought to be a priority before you're doing that last principle.....not required you have those other 11 'in place' before you do that last principle, but we're talking "MAXIMUM" service, eh?

This was my spiel to the little fella who claimed to be working step 12 but who had NO idea what the principles were.
*shaking head*

I further confounded the fella by telling him that I have a 'requirement' to continue to work on MY defects of character versus simply walking around trying to 'heal' the world around me and calling it good to go.

He looked at me like I'd grown another head. LOL
Oy brother.......

This is why I have poker chips.
This is what wisepersoninmylife handed me for step six and seven work EONS ago.

They're not naked chips.......they're written on with permanent marker.
And they're in a little bag all of their own.
Character assets for living a principled life.....behaviours/attitudes I get to practice and focus on for the day that I'm in.
Wonderful things....if you're wanting to actually work on THAT defect of character and improve your principled living 'requirements'.
If you're not looking to improve in THAT area, THAT day---they're a source for groaning and kvetching. LOL And some moments, that's just where I AM.

So, being the loving, kindly person I am, I handed that little fella my poker chip for the day that read "self-forgetfulness".
He didn't have a clue what that meant.

I assured him I didn't either........this is why I was carrying the chip! LOL
And this is where I had a "light bulb moment"-- I handed him the chip and told him to keep it.

I wanted to believe that was a principled thing to do. LOL
*I* thought it oughta be a 'sign' that I'd reached that 'self-forgetfulness' pinnacle!

Ha......now I have to make MYSELF a "self-forgetfulness" chip and it's not going to match the other chips!
Which'll bug the byjeepers outta me. They have to match, dontchaknow!!

The solution?
Wiseperson says "fine--new chips for you........deliver the other set to the fella so he'll have a full set".

Shoot, dagnabbit and DARN!! LOL
That was NOT what I had in mind..........

Hide and Seek

Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise.--Sigmund Freud



The truth is our friend.
It is a rough and humble kind of friend--but a friend nonetheless.
Each of us will need to learn to spend time with this friend because it is one that is not easy to escape.
It is always turning up when we least expect it.
The truth about ourselves is hard to avoid. It seems to knock at our door until we let it in.

Sometimes we tell little lies about ourselves to impress others, or we act in ways that, deep down, we know are not really the way we want to be.
We've all played the game of hide and seek sometime in our lives.
We know what it is like to hide and try to keep from being found.
But we can never be comfortable this way.
The truth about us is an expert player. It seeks us out, time and time again, until we put our arms around it and learn to embrace it.

Tangled Spaghetti

We are not offered a painless existence, but we are offered opportunities for gathering perspective from the painful moments. And our perspectives are cushioned by the principles we discipline ourself to live.
The rough edges of life, the storms that whip our very being, are gifts in disguise. We see life anew, when the storm has subsided.
We can enjoy the calm, if that surrounds us today.
We deserve the resting periods.
They give us a chance to contemplate and make fully our own that which the recent storm brought so forcefully to our attention.
We are powerless over the storm's onslaught.
But we can gain from it and be assured that the storm gives all the meaning there is in the calm.
~~~
I've been running myself nutz these past few weeks.
Trying to piecemeal together a mess that was dumped in my lap with no real resource for how to find order in it all.
Can't find order if there's no real design FOR order that accompanies the mess.
You get to CREATE order.......and that's how I've spent the last four weeks. Groping in the dark to create order, knowing that kiddos and families and the adults that work with them are relying on you to help them make sense of it all and create the order they need.

Four weeks worth of chaos surrounding me while I'm dancing just as fast as I can to assemble it into an orderly, manageable 'thing' for everyone else.

I liken it to a plate of spaghetti, all tangled up just sitting there looking--tangled up. LOL
At one o'clock this afternoon I sent on my completed 'plan' that detangled the spaghetti that was served to me.
And we're all moving forward--calmly and organized and looking like we actually know what we're doing. LOL
That was the one o'clock email to the boss.

About three this afternoon I sent on another email to the boss that read:
"These past few weeks have been nutz…….JUST nutz.

But I’ve never felt more responsible for the treatment/services and the welfare of the kiddos and adults here.

Weird, huh?"

His response at ten minutes after three?
"No…not weird. Cool!...except for the nutz part."

At three fifteen I got another email from him:
"When's the last time I told you how much I appreciate the work that you do?"

I closed my email--pronounced myself 'braindead' and headed out with a stack of work I'll get done this weekend......but not before sending him my reply:
"You just did!
Totally unnecessary though--cuz see, I have a great Boss who's taught me wonderful things. I'll let Him know you appreciate how well He trained me when I hit my knees to thank Him myself!"

Amen!! ;-)

Budget Recovery

You're looking at a woman who doesn't balance her check book.....
That's right.....well, that's mostly right. I balance it twice a year by not spending a dime from the bank for three weeks, taking their balance and making what's left over go into a savings account. I simply spend until it makes me uncomfortable. LOL
Scary, eh?

Scarier STILL is the fact that my boss hands over a budget that's million of dollars to balance---to ME.
What WAS he thinking?!
I did tell him about my checkbook system.
He didn't seem to care.

He STILL doesn't seem to care.......well, leastwise he didn't SEEM to care until this week when I met with him and he said those two HORRIFIC words:

"BUDGET RECOVERY"

*shuddering*
Scares me to even type those words! LOL

It would seem that our little agency (not so little--but still.........) has let its outgo excede its income.
PROBLEM! (LOL......see, even *I* know that!)

Budget recovery.......every program gets to chip in to be the solution to some other unit's bad decision making.
You know--it's time for the 'all for one and one for all' theory........'cept I didn't create the problem and I'm still getting to say 'no' to somethings even though we're not the financial problem.

*scratching head*
I'll get it......really I will.
It's about the spirit of cooperation, right?
Common cause--everyone's a part of the solution, right?

*grumbling*
I didn't CREATE the problem, I'm not responsible FOR the problem and I sure as heck don't wanna be accountable to FIX the problem.
But I am.
*scratching head*

I don't get it.
I don't have to get it to do it, right?

I sure HOPE that's right--cuz I just spent HOURS on a spread sheet (and I don't DO spread sheets!!) going over numbers and making adjustments to a budget that I don't DO in the first place.
'Cept I DO do a budget and I don't know it.....until it's about someone else's budget?
I can get it--just gimme a bit of time to wrap my head around 'common cause, we're all in this together' theoretical crud........

Didn't anyone warn them that it's all about MEMEME? LOL

"Two things, Mel........."

It is often the fear of rejection, which makes us afraid to give of ourselves.
To share is to reveal who we are and where we are.
If we feel inadequate, we do not want to expose this imagined inadequacy to other people.


If our self-image is too grand and inflated, we cannot possibly live up to it in reality.
Expecting ourselves to be perfect sets us up for frustration and fear, since we know deep down that we do not measure up to our image of perfection.

With humility comes the willingness to give of what we have and what we are right now, without waiting until we are more eloquent or more accomplished.
What we have to share is what someone else needs to receive.
By focusing more on the needs of others and less on the imaginary concept of ourselves, which is our ego, we learn to overcome our fear of giving.
What we have to give now is enough for today.

~~~~~~~~
I used to be more than willing to share--and then wisepersoninmylife told me: "Two things Mel.......sit DOWN and shut the *$%# up!" He 'suggested' I take the cotton out of my ears and stuff it in my mouth.....
Hurt MY fragile feelings. LOL

I wasn't sharing where I was at or giving what I had to give..........I was telling folks how to run their lives. Cuz *I* knew all, dontchaknow!!

I sat down and 'shut the *$%# up'. (he's way bigger than me and he really could 'take me'..........and has.....LOL)
Fact is, I showed up for meetings for over a YEAR and was disallowed to 'share'--'cept "Hi, I'm Mel and I'm told I have a problem with alcohol and drugs."
OMG.........LOL.....what an idiot, huh? I'm surprised they LET me keep comin' back!



Telling what's true for ME--sometimes leaves me feeling like a dork. (mostly cuz I can BE a dork somemoments)
But it's amazing how that can be exactly what some person needed to hear.

I don't mind looking/feeling dorkish today.
Well, THAT'S not true........I mind, but I'm WILLING just the same.
Good thing, huh? LOL Cuz it's guaranteed that I WILL look AND feel dorkish multiple times during the course of the day.
Apparently G-d thinks I need the humility.
Gee......I wonder why............ROFL

Electronic discord......

Daylight savings time is a grand thing!

It's been getting dark too darn early.

I'm all FOR daylight savings time.
What I'm against--is changing clocks.

* I forget. (hence a missed Sunday morning meeting--argh!)
* I manage to change some clocks--- and not others. (still haven't altered the watch!)
* I TRY to change some and ........bad things happen.
* I then try to destroy evidence of those bad things happening.....LOL

I.......am electronically 'challenged'.

So...... the DVD player/CD thingy that's attached to the television isn't talking to the television.....or is it the television that's not talking to the DVD/CD thingy? Heck if *I* know--but there's discord and both are refusing therapy for the 'issue'..I know, I offered to provide it!

And *looking around for witnesses* I set the timer for the microwave--not the clock mind you, the TIMER.
Twice.

(as in two times......)

BTW......I was kindly--I left a note on the television for himself, when he gets around to discovering it doesn't work.

Oh.....and I unplugged the answering machine......cuz I can't program the clock on the message whozit. I don't like message machines anyway! As far as I'm concerned, that's a mute point. (yes, that play on words WAS intentional!!)

MY only saving grace--the cellphone, like the computer, takes care of itself.

There IS a G-d!

LOLOL

AUGH!!!

This.......is all me.....'cept for the one dude just sitting there watching.......
Yep--every OTHER one--running, climbing, falling, and running some more.....that's ME!!!
At every turn-- another obstacle that had to be removed, another solution to look for and discover.
And did I have the cooperation and admiration of the people surrounding me. LOL
Wanna place any bets on that answer?

What I had was a bunch of folks.....watching.
Oy.......as I ran and tried to make sense of the nonsense which made no sense--which other folks kept changing to try to MAKE it make sense.......make sense? LOL
Didn't to me either.....
Oh but what FUN!!! NOT!!!

And when they change the changes faster than you can keep up?
You're running, climbing, falling and running some more.......

AUGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
(sounds nutzoid BECAUSE IT IS!!!)
And I'm trying to act AS confident as I can--while I'm trying to normalize changing the changes and changing them again....cuz I don't want my folks panicked.

SANITY check!!!!
*checking*
Mmmmmmm...nope.....LOL I'm feeling pretty crazy--but I suspect a whole lotta folks do about now.
Panicked.....
YEP!!
But I'll be a tree.....LOL
I know how to buy time and be a tree.

Oooohhhhmmmmmmm...
(feeling like a willow--which is good cuz I need to bend and whip back into shape quickly with all this change stuff!)
*being a willow tree*

HA!
Didn't work!!!!!

LOLOL

:-(

*sniffle*
(and that's from my cold....bronchitus........whatever it is that I STILL have.......)

I am NOT pouting....
Not, not, NOT!

There are only 364 days til Halloween and I can start thinking and planning NOW if I wanna!!

A box of thoughts........

There are two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
Albert Einstein



Every once in a while I open the box and carry around the little card that shows up on the top--it's a random thing.......(not disciplined like the character asset chips for stepwork....ugh...LOL)

Good card!
I'm thinking the reading fairies have worked their way into the world wide web!

Halloween has arrived!!

*chuckling*
And you'd think I'd be tearing through the house getting myself ready to show up all gussied up for the celebration of the day!!

Actually, I'm enjoying a cuppa coffee (there's a surprise!) and I just got done with a brief, but 'meaningful' chat with wisepersoninmylife.........I rang him to just say 'thank you'.

Yeah, yeah.......every once in a while I get these sentimental moments when I get to look backwards at the places I've been.
This moment was brought to me by a blog I stumbled across this morning--more like I 'nosed myself into', being the nosy Nellie that I am....And I left a comment--which sparked the sentimental moment:

"There's a whole collection of hats in a box here--keeping company the bandanna's that covered my head. I don't have 'bad hair days' today. Granted, the hair came back straighter than a board and reddish blonde--used to be auburn and curlier than all get out.It's hair, it's mine, and I smile when I go to tame it in the morning.Funny how losing it gives perspective on having it, eh?"

It mutated from there into a call to wisepersoninmylife #1:

"I just called to thank you"
"Whaddi donow....." (NOT the most happy fella early in the morning. LOL)

"Nothin'..........I just got a good reminder of the places we've been.......and I wanted to thank you for being present for me during all that."
"Right. 'zat it?"
(I chuckled--he takes this stuff just about as well as I do.)

"Nah........that's not it........Have I told you lately that I just plain LIKE you?"
"...........so thats why you called me an 'asshole' the other night............cuz you LIKE me...."
"It's a term of endearment."

"Right."

GEEZE he makes it tough to just be kindly to him some moments. LOL (note how I make it all about HIMHIMHIM!!)
"Seriously though....thanks for walking with me through some really crappy moments."
"...........yourewelcome?"

"Go have a good day, will ya?"
"Zatit? This is why you rang the asshole?"

"Sheeeeshhhh--ya know, I meant what I said the other night with the utmost love and affection....."
"....uh huh.........."
"And you really can be an asshole some moments......."
"....yep..........."
"And I really AM grateful for having you in my life............."
".....asshole that I am.........."
"Asshole that you are.......... Why do I get the sense that you're wanting an apology for that asshole remark?"
".....should I get an apology for that?"

Oy.........
"Fine. I'm sorry for calling you an asshole."
"Thanks! I appreciate that!"

"Wait a minute! I called to thank you for walking me through some really rough times!"
"Yeah, but I'm an asshole and I wanted the apology first....."

*shaking head*
I got off the phone dumber for having had that conversation, I swear. LOL
But I know what it's about--cuz he can be like that............asshole that he is..........LOL
Bit like me--slow on the mark to accept that I've touched someone's life for the good and uneasy with taking any credit for the impact that I might make for the GOOD.
I'm used to impacting people for the bad.......LOL I can shoulder the blame pretty darn good. Cuz I am responsible for adversely affecting a whole lot of lives.
Give me 'credit' for the good--- and I'm running the other direction.

All the blame and none of the glory.
The glory wouldn't be mine, dontchaknow......wisepersoninmylife taught me that one very well.

Yep..........the asshole taught me well!! LOL
And no, I'm not going to apologize for calling him that AGAIN--I said it with the utmost love and affection. Hmmmmmmmmph!

Have Antlers, will travel!!

Imagine getting to sit around the tables with a bunch of professionally stuffy kinda folks. LOL
Honestly, they're nice people in their own right. They're just---well, PROFESSIONAL. And I have a meeting with those fine folks tomorrow....

Okay......now let's look at this objectively. *sigh*

There's my boss (whom I'm in great conflict with at this given moment in time--oops?)--he's a whooping great fella that oughta scare the pants off of any sane human being.
Let us not forget that I'm not quite a 'human being'. LOL

And there's six other folks (and me and him) that make up the administrative team.
Two of them are ladder climbers that would love my boss' job. Who'd WANT it! PASS! I don't relate to ladder climbing--I relate to walking under ladders and pushing my luck!
One is a gal who toots her own horn every freaking chance she gets which makes me nutzoid--I'm guessing that says a whole lot about her self esteem and my level of tolerance/acceptance! *sigh*
There's one person that I genuinely respect.....she's very knowledgeable, very plain spoken and just says what's true for her kiddos and the staff who work with them. (that oughta shore up how it is I respect her!)
And the two others--dunno what planet they're from OR on, but I'm glad that the teletransporter only beams them into shared space with me once a week!

(Yeah, yeah......love and tolerance of others IS our code and best I get on with it!!)

Tuesday meetings are 'interesting' to say the least. There's conflict and arguing and challenging and all sorts of silliness that can happen in very short order.
I shake my head a whole lot some moments......and wonder just HOW this constitutes the leadership for children and families who don't 'function' well. LOL Hello??!!

Not that I'm the epitome of leadership--I've been known to tantrum a time or two myself. I try to do that privately and at opportune moments....LOL and keep my cooperative self available for moments such as the administrative team meeting.
I do have a goal to "improve my ability to play well with others" FOR A REASON.
I think it's progressing nicely.

Tomorrow--is Halloween.
(I'll hold off on the YIPPEEs for later! LOL)

I have the day off.
I also know enough to show up to the administrative meeting cuz it's one of those 'required' things....... I need to be there--even if I don't WANT to be there. I have a responsibility TO be there. (oh boy oh joy oh happy day! LOL)

BUT--
I'm going with my antlers on......and nobody's stopping me!

And I'm bringing treats!
*nodding*
AND they're gonna be happy and play NICE!

And NOone---I repeat--NOONE will be messing with me.
OR with my antlers.
Uh huh.........I think it'll work perfectly.
I may not be a big fella like my boss is--but I do know how to act menacing!
I've practiced that...LOL.....a lot! LOLOL
I'm SURE I'll be TWICE as effective with those antlers on my head.
:-\

Score for the reading fairies!

I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure -- try to please everybody. --Herbert Bayard Swope

Principles are rules or codes of conduct we set for ourselves; like being honest, striving to be on time, and taking responsibility for expenses. It is up to us to abide by these principles.

When we compromise a principle for someone else's benefit, we jeopardize the strength of that principle and its importance to us. If we want to be honest, then lying to cover up another's actions compromises that principle. If we want to be on time and someone makes demands that cause us to arrive late, we have compromised ourselves and let someone else's desire dominate.

We need to set certain standards for ourselves and abide by them, even if another person will not be pleased. To let principles trump over the demands and desires of another is a victory for our inner peace.
If we are true to ourselves, we will learn we can count on ourselves no matter what.

Worthy of repeating TWICE:

I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure -- try to please everybody. --Herbert Bayard Swope

We done GOOD!!!

I distinctly recall asking the pumpkins we picked out if they minded being our Jack-o-lanterns. *nodding* So they were willing volunteers, justsoyaknow!
Guts. LOL No Halloween would be complete without pumpkin guts!
I can't say himself was fond of this part. I coulda offered to gut the volunteers. *snickering*
I did not.

Now, how awesome are THEY, I ask?
(no, I didn't do the 'welcome' pumpkin--but I'm thinkin' anyone coulda guessed that.)
But I DID do the spidery guy. :-) I was toothpick prepared JUST in case I chopped off one of the spidery guy's legs. Woohooooo.....He has all eight!
And we have four awesome jack-o-lanterns!

Not bad, eh?
I mean, not bad for US--considering he'd never done jack-o-lanterns til I showed up in his life.

We were admiring them before we put them outside and I told him indoors that "we done GOOD!"

"We bloody well DID!"
:-)

LOL I think that means he agrees?

TWO days!! Woooooohooo!!

Can you say 'pumpkin carving'?

:-)

TWO DAY til Halloween!! Wooooooooohoooooooo!!!

AND I've taken the day off.
Not that I won't work Tuesday--cuz I will. I have multiple meetings I've GOT to be at.
But the actual evening--I took off (generally it's my night to play with the kiddos and meet with them/familes that I can fanniggle some family time with).

*doing happy dance*
We're carving pumpkins today!!
(himself doesn't know this yet---but I'm about to retrieve the pumpkins from the garage and plonk 'em on the breakfast table.......)

:-)
*thinking*
Decisions, decisions.....what shall I do with my pumpkin......

QOTW 10/29

Name two ways that you show affection to others.

*chuckling*
Well, I was gonna say I don't 'whap' 'em. But that's not true.

I've been known to poke the Brit or bump him with my shoulder. Apparently I do this frequently. Kinda like a third grader who likes the little fella three desks down. LOL Obviously, I have some growing up left to do, huh?

And then there's the ever popular crawling under, over, around and through things. LOL Those "I want 'tention!!" moments.

Good grief--I AM developmentally thwarted!! LOL

Raisins and tapioca

I don't eat raisins.
There's a fact most folks don't know about me!!
Are ya feeling priviledged? LOL

I USED to eat raisins--until my loving sister told me how they were made. Bless her pea-pickin' heart!
That's all it took.......no more raisins---ever.

Don't even bother to reform me. It's not going to happen.

Now........ let's talk tapioca.
It'll be brief, I promise!

I've never been a lover of tapioca.
But congratulate him indoors--cuz he's managed to swear me off of it for the rest of my life.
No fooling.

Swallow--or hurl............it was up for grabs there for a moment.
But let me assure you--tapioca won't find it's way past my lips ever again.

"Did you know my mother always referred to tapioca as 'frog spawn'?"
He said it verrrrrrrrrry casually as he inspected it prior to putting it in his mouth.

Yep--that's all she wrote!

'Frog spawn' won't ever touch my lips again!
WITH or without raisins.

*swallowing hard and trying not to upchuck*
OMG.................................

"oops.........sorry?"

We will not be free from all difficulties today, or during any period of our lives.
But we have the personal power to eliminate the threat, the sting of any challenge.
It's our vision of circumstances that gives them their interpretation.

At this moment, we are defining our experience.
We are labeling events good or bad, valuable or meaningless.
And our growth, particularly this day, is greatly influenced by the value judgments we attach to our experiences.

As we grow we learn that all difficulties are truly opportunities for exceptional growth and increased awareness.
All experiences can be taken in stride if we are trustful of their intended blessing.

BACK to the power of the attitude and the judgements/value we place on the circumstances.

I'm pretty convinced the reading fairies have a plot to get me to accept what IS today.
I even changed the reading book to avoid airy-fairy readings like this. LOL

TRUTH is, I'm my own worst enemy.
Truth is........G-d's NEVER given me more than I could handle, even in times when *I* thought He'd confused me Wonderwoman!
I've come through the other side of circumstances--stronger and a bit wiser for the experience.

And that which does not kill me---doesn't kill me. LOL
(gotta love wisepersoninmylife for that one!)

I really do have a say so in how I'm looking at what's in front of me today.
Curse or blessing?
Gosh--more than once I shook my fist at the Big Guy and labled it a curse ONLY to have to go back to say "oops?......sorry?......." after more things were revealed.

I'm the one placing the value on what IS today. Undoubtedly a bit prematurely.
I'll be going back to do an "oops.....sorry!" because one more time I've whined and carried on and acted like I KNEW what was best for me.

*rolling eyes*

I really need to grow PAST this whiney stuff and get on to being a grown up about 'stuff', huh?

Nah.....LOL............what's the fun in that?!!

Guess Who's Coming To Dinner?

OH.
MY.
GOSH!!

This--was one honkin' BIG bird!
Yep--in our tree 'resting'.
Well, I'D like to think he was resting.
But supposedly they'll land near feeders to nab little unsuspecting birdies.....

BAD BIRD!! NAUGHTY BIRD!!!

But there he was--looking pretty......well, pretty BIG.

The Brit wanted to name him Captain Crunch (he's kinda vulgar like that...LOL)

I decided he just needed to go away before he made breakfast of our poor little junco's or the nuthatchery dudes.
I even made the Brit check for ....ummm......leftovers before I'd go fill the feeders. LOL
No leftovers!!

GOOD Sidney Hawk!!

Yep--SIDNEY.
I thought it fit him well.

;-)

Leadership dilemas

I can't decide if I want to whine or 'get over it'.

*thinking* LOL
I do have a choice, ya know.

Once again, I've decided it's way lonely doing what I do.
I think I wanna whine cuz I didn't ASK to do this......

I have all those eyes looking up--and those eyes looking down...and I'm smooshed in the middle. Of course, by virtue of the positions of those eyes looking up--THEY have eyes looking up at them as well--and looking down. So we're in the same freaking position.

Staff looking up at them, questioning. Bosses looking down at them, not answering--or not having answers TO give.
And there we be.
You'd think, being in the same uncomfortable position, that we'd (the supervisors) would be bonding and commisserating. LOL
NOT SO!!

Once again I discovered how 'alone' this position is--especially in times of change when folks don't have a lot of answers because they weren't given a lot of answers....and you have the same 'no answers' to give people looking up at you.

*waving from a very lonely place*
Hello........I'm feeling pretty darn alone here.

True--I've told my three key people to always know I'm that safe place to vomit up their concerns and angers so they can get that out of their system and move on to do what's in front of them.
So when they rip me to shreds with questions that I can't answer cuz there are no answers, and they stay angry......(seemingly not at the circumstances but with me) it feels dang lonely!

*sigh*
I didn't ask for the changes and I don't have the answers to how to implement the changes--NOone has those answers yet. LOL This isn't unusual for the profession, human services are always undergoing changes.....as are human beings, period.

I just don't like this 'alone' feeling.

Now--I can hope that by today the three have moved from that angry spot and into 'acceptance' and 'getting the job done'............cuz we're all there for the right reasons--but I'm thinking we're all mighty tired. (I know I am!)
If not.......well.....I'm thinkin' it's gonna be another lonely day at the office. LOL
Not boring mind you---just lonely!

Oy brother......
And all I REALLY wanna do is play with the kiddos.......