Ah, the simple things...

QOTW 7/30

Do you speak your mind?

Absolutely not.

I speak my piece (or my peace) but my mind contains some things which simply aren't worthy of speaking.

I'm cocky and I'm greedy....

And I'm an ungrateful snot sometimes. Really, I am.

I just got done responding to an email sent on to me and I'm feeling dumber than dumb.
I'd like to whap myself, but I'm thinkin' wisepersoninmylife will be HONOURED to do that for me........

Why is it the further I get away from the journey that brought me here, the cockier I get?
You'd think that someone who'd gone the places I've gone, who's experienced the 'stuff' that I've gotten to experience, would hang on to the humility, the gratitude and the simplicity of truth and life with both hands.

But no....I'm a greedy little monger and I wander away from what's good and true and what's really, really simple.
The further I get from those moments of ultimate truth between me and the Big Guy.....the closer I get to being that selfish, self centered, ungrateful snot that I know I can be.
And I'm not pleased.
Nor am I amused with myself.

The Big Guy tosses all sorts of messengers in front of me over and over and over again.
And I can HEAR the message and STILL not move my sorry little rear closer to where I know I need to be.....where I wanna be.......where my heart really is.
It's almost a "yeah, yeah.......that's nice.....g'way you're bothering me" kinda mentality, which just does NOT fit with what I say is true for me.

Yes, I know I'm on this planet today PURELY through grace.
Yes, I know how precious one day in the life of one human being truly is.
Yes, I know how selfish it is to, ONCE AGAIN, take for granted what coulda, and woulda NOT been given to me were it not for love and grace.
It doesn't stop me.
Something needs to stop me.
Better yet...someONE needs to stop me.

Or maybe the lesson is YOU need to stop you, Mel.
Knowing and not doing is worse than not knowing at all.
And I really DO know.
But gosh....how is one suppose to trust that you DO know if YOU'RE NOT ACTING ON IT?!

How are YOU suppose to trust that you know when you're acting like you don't?
Is this a lesson that I really NEED to go back to learn?

Nah.
I get it.
I really do get it.
I warped back into time simply writing the email.....and I really do get it.
I know what well and truly 'matters' today.
And I really need to shut up now and ACT LIKE I GET IT, huh?

......k.........
Gonna go hug himself madly-- and take him out for dinner or kidnap him for a wander around a bookstore with a good cuppa coffee.
And hit a meeting to tell on myself.
Cuz that's what I get to do....that's what works for me........

Argh.

Since I've been a child, I've been in an antagonistic relationship with an important emotional part of myself: my feelings.
I have consistently tried to ignore, repress, or force my feelings away.
I have tried to create unnatural feelings or force away feelings that were present.

I've denied I was angry, when in fact I was furious.
I have told myself there must be something wrong with me for feeling angry, when anger was a reasonable and logical response to the situation.
I have told myself things didn't hurt, when they hurt very much.

I have told myself stories such as "That person didn't mean to hurt me." . . . "He or she doesn't know any better." . . . "I need to be more understanding."
The problem was that I had already been too understanding of the other person and not understanding and compassionate enough with myself.
It has not just been the large feelings I have been at war with; I have been battling the whole emotional aspect of myself.
I have tried to use spiritual energy, mental energy, and even physical exertion to not feel what I need to feel to be healthy and alive.

I didn't succeed at my attempts to control emotions.
Emotional control has been a survival behavior for me.
I can thank that behavior for helping me get through many years and situations where I didn't have any better options.
But I have learned a healthier behavior - accepting my feelings.

We are meant to feel.

We are responsible for our behaviors, but we do not have to control our feelings.
We can let them happen.
We can learn to embrace, enjoy, and experience - feel - the emotional part of ourselves.

Barry Manilow keeps running through my head, thanksverymuch.
Feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel your feelings......nothing more than feelings....lalalalalalala

*shudder*

(yep......I tossed the book inTO the hallway! LOL)

Yup........what the cup says.......

Okay, okay.......so I'm NOT a morning person.
Strike that.
I'm not a morning person when it's actually morning.
Eight o'clock ceases to be 'morning' and has moved into 'day'.
Five or six.......stay outta my way or really bad things could happen. 'Specially if I've not had that 'elegant sufficiency' of coffee added to my system.

I don't do people before eight in the morning.
Well, I DO do people before eight in the morning......I just don't do them 'well'.


BTW.......This is himself's cup.
G'head and chuckle. He does EVERY time he manages to fill it with coffee.
I manage to chuckle when I steal the cup and fill it.
I'm prone to use it as a silent 'warning'. LOL
Bit passive, but there you have it!

Wanna wager who was using the cup today?

BTW.......'no goobers' on the cup yet simply implies that noone's drank from it yet.
And truly, I'm not sure 'whose cup is it matters' since I'm stealing that coffee cup of his every opportunity I get....or create. LOL

:-)

12:50 a.m.

This morning we woke up to a morphed cicada.

Frankly, I think he was prettier when he was green.

And now...it's time to FREE THE CICADA.....(ya didn't expect less, did ya?).. so he can SING

Warning--BUG!!!!!!

Okay......it shoulda been a done deal to end the day peacefully.
But nooooooooooooooooooo....
I stumbled onto the bug while I was taking a photo of the sunset.

And the brain started going. LOL
(that's not my fault...I'm just MADE this way!)

Yep......I captured the bug about 9:00 p.m.
And then I searched high and low for a jar to put him in.
Yeah, righhhhhtttttt.
There's two of us--the biggest jar we had was an empty pickle jar.
And I'm talking a pickle relish jar. Way too small, dangitall!
Well, there IS the suntea jar........hey..desperate times call for desperate measures....
But ewwwwwwwwwww and ACK!!

Bless himself, who humoured me even though he thought I was wayyyyyyy over the edge.
He suggested I forego the suntea jar ('specially if I intended to ever make suntea in it again!...GOOD PLAN!!!!!!) and go for an old critter cage.
Which I located.
Which is where the bug is.
Which is currently mutated from the beetle looking bug.
See below.

10:40 p.m.

11:05 p.m.

11:20 p.m.

Midnight.

Houston--we have a cicada!!

Ummm......hold on a minute......

There's a cicada in our livingroom?!?!!

What WAS I thinking?!

Day is done......

*happy sigh*
Just another pretty sunset.
The perfect kinda ending to a lazy kinda day.

Yep.....you'd think with a sunset like this, things would wind down rather smoothly, right?

A bit more of the outside followed the lazy day on the patio.
A nice fire. Listening to the crickets and cicada's singing.

*happy sigh*

What a easy going kinda day.
And what a peaceful start to an evening.....

Me.......bored?!

One book read. (yep, on the swing with suntea, of course......)

A few (dozen) ears of corns, shucked. Yummy! Ohhhh.....guess what's for dinner! :-)

And one mini-project---completed.
In the company of flutterbys, no less.
In fact, one sneaked up on me whilest I was painting.
(see above left hand corner.....or.......just skip to below?)

I wasn't the least bit lonely OR bored while himself was gone for four hours doing whatever it is he's doing this afternoon.....

Will that stop me from tossing myself at him and whining about how much I missed him?

NOPE! LOL

Any bets on how successful I'll be at getting him to go with me to that store that had Halloween goodies on the end aisle? :-)

*snickering*
Easy peasy!

In the company of flutterbys and moffs....

I could be doing laundry.

Or there's the carpet that could stand a good vacuum--not to mention the sweetcorn that needs shucking.

Yeah, yeah....

First things first, I say.

Flutterbys, moffs and that good book I wanna finish up.....on the patio, swingin'......

*whapping self on the head* Learn, Mel.....learn!

"Wherever there's a living breathing thing--there's an opportunity for kindness."

'Member that thought from this morning?
Yeah, well......I attempted to share it with himself--cuz I considered it to be relevent to him as well. (nice of me to take note of that, dontchathink? LOL)

Yeah, well......I'm of the clear understanding that the message was for ME.......NOT for him.
He made that abundantly clear.

"Wonderful saying--but I believe that's not quite right. How about...'Wherever there's a living, breathing thing--there's an opportunity for dinner?' or 'lunch'....or...... "

Yeah, yeah......Thanks honey.

Oy, oy, oy....
Live and learn AGAIN Mel.
LIVE and LEARN!

Day Three

CERTAINLY ya'll didn't think I'd pass by the opportunity to spread a bit of kindliness by sharing 'happy sock' moments for three days in a row?!

I'm very certain it was all 'show' and the folks at work truly DID appreciate my efforts.

Moaning, apparently, is a new form of showing one's appreciation.

I can buy that!

I can DO that!!!
ROFL

I'm well and truly convinced that the world is a better place for having oppo socks in it.

MY world is.

*snickering* And EVERYone knows it's all about MEMEME, forgoodnesssakes.

;-)

Opportunities

"Wherever there's a living breathing thing--there's an opportunity for kindness."

Now, Mel.....you KNOW it takes no more effort to be kindly than it takes to be mean.
You even know it somehow mutates into effortless work when you actually DO it.

Be nice.
BE NICE.

.....k.........I'll BE NICE......but I'm STILL wearing the oppo socks! LOL

If it worked once......

It'll work twice.
:-D

And since it worked twice....I'm goin' for three in a row.

Monsters in the closet

Monster in My Closet--

What's that in the closet?
Whatever shall I do?
There's a monster in my closet
Oh, how I wish they knew

They sent me on to bed
And told me to go to sleep
I pulled the covers up o'er my head
But I just had to take a peek

There he was, all large and hairy
With giant glowing eyes
Grownups say there are no monsters
Why tell kids such big lies?............

Everybody sing:

There's A Monster In My ClosetAnd It's Green! (Rawwwr Rawwwr)
There's A Monster In My ClosetAnd It's Green! (Rawwwr Rawwwr)
There's A Monster In My ClosetAnd It's Very Very Green
There's A Monster In My ClosetAnd It's Green! (Rawwwr Rawwwr)

There's A Monster In My ClosetAnd It Smells! (Pew Pew!)
There's A Monster In My ClosetAnd It Smells! (Pew Pew!)
There's A Monster In My ClosetAnd It Really Really Smells!
There's A Monster In My ClosetAnd It Smells! (Pew Pew!)

There's A Monster In My ClosetAnd It Snorts! (Snort Snort!)
There's A Monster In My ClosetAnd It Snorts! (Snort Snort!)
There's A Monster In My ClosetAnd It Really Really Snorts!
There's A Monster In My ClosetAnd It Snorts! (Snort Snort!)

Hit that key....

"If you're wanting more happiness in your life, choose to be happy."

Don'tcha just love 'duh' moments?

CHOOSE to be happy.

What a novel concept.

*snickering and smirking*

I.........am an evil person.
*hanging head and trying not to smirk*

Yes........'oppo socks'.
And yep......I wore them to work.
ON team meeting day, no-less.....with a few staff members that are a little obsessive/compulsive--call me a little terrorist if you so desire. I'll wear that label proudly. :-D

G'head ...... ask if that decision was deliberate.

OF COURSE it wasn't.........geeze....




(.....k.......LYING! LOL)

Is this where I confess to the plot and take my come-uppin's?

What a mean thing to do, eh?
But alas......I only made two of 'em nutzo.
One of 'em wanted my 'word' that when I worked with them tomorrow that I would NOT be wearing the socks.

I, of course, gave my word.

I will NOT wear these socks tomorrow.
Gosh.....like I'd wear a pair of dirty socks!?

But. (yeah, yeah......you knew it was coming........)
Seeings how I have six (yup......six) socks of the same colours with different patterns--I've got a good three days of mixing 'em up. MORE if I toss 'em in the washer.
Lemme see.......six different socks make how many days of different combinations?

(I've always sucked at math......but I know it's good for at least five working days!) (IF I do laundry, of course......)
That's a work week.

*snickering*
I'm thinking by day three they'll either be immuned to the 'oppo' socks (which means I'm doing them the favor and providing treatment for that obsessive compulsive disorder) OR.......I'll be banned from the unit.

Any bets? LOL

He's hereeeeeeeee..........

Yes, this is a bug.

Ah, but it's not just ANY bug.

It's the bug that means summertime.

I've been waiting for the little boogers to show up.

And they do---every year.

Only this year Mr. Bluejay's got a nest in Mr. Cicada's favorite tree.

I can only hope that Mr. Cicada uses discretion about when to sing......or he'll become Mr. Bluejay's midnight snack.

That would make me sadder than sad.

I'm thinkin' I need to post the rules on the tree for Mr. Bluejay so he's playing 'nice'.

I'll just be happy to have discovered Mr. Cicada making the trek up the tree so he can become all that he is.
He's only waited--what is it--two or three years to get this one chance?

Come outta that shell and SING little bug!!!

What a very smart bug.
He can come outta the hiding spot he's been hanging around underground in for two to three years, make the journey to the tree, break outta his shell and SING for all he's worth all in one evening!

I'm thinkin' I could learn a thing or two from Mr. Cicada, huh?

...who's counting.....

I checked the calendar.

It's a mere twenty two days til we're off for a two week adventure.

And we're under the 100 mark on the countdown for Halloween!!

WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

NOT that I noticed or got excited or anything--but one of the stores had a small collection of Halloween stuff on an end aisle when I made a run through to grab some 'stuff' we needed yesterday.

Yup....Ghosties and bats.
The 'run through' lasted a bit longer than I anticipated.
What can I say?!

HA!

T-minus NINETY SEVEN DAYS and counting!
:-)

Ten days.....

Gee....thanks, boss......

You'd think a conversation woulda happened before the boss decided to let everyone around the tables know, wouldn'tcha?
Dunno why I'D think a conversation would be necessary. LOL Courtesy, maybe?
(probably more like a heated debate on what a 'bad plan' he'd come up with and 'pick someone else' woulda been the answer on my part.)

No problem.
I can do this.
Even if I don't wanna do it, I'm getting to do it.

He's going away for ten days and I've been "left in charge".

No, no....that's "I've been left in CHARGE?!......what WERE you thinking?!!!"

Do I mind?
Ummmmmm.........YES!
Do I 'feel' competent enough TO be 'in charge' during his absence?
NO!
And my response when he told the administrative team this?

"Yes, thank you--I think I'd like to do that."
(just as soon as I throw up....AFTER I deal with that smirk you failed miserably at hiding...)

*frowning*
I hate when he 'one ups' me.

NOW I'm gonna haffta plot.
*chuckling*
At least I have ten days to come up with something REALLY good to get him back with.