Today's Thought

Go ahead and start small, and if you're unable to start small, then start tiny.

The point is, do whatever you can with whatever you have, and that will be plenty to get you moving in a positive, productive direction.
There is always something you can do.

There is always some small step forward that you can make right now.
Your ability to accomplish does not get used up.

In fact, the more you use it, the more powerful it grows.

And if some is good.......

....of course MORE is better!!!!!

Mig said it felt like a hug.

Boy was she right on!

(((((((((((((((( ILTV ))))))))))))))))))))

(I'm sure she felt that one!)

Postcard from France

Totally inadequate to the task of putting words to what this one means to me.....

Captured Memory

Today's thought from the reading fairy

Learn from your mistakes, but don't hound yourself relentlessly with them.

Build for the future, but don't withhold from yourself the joys that you can live right now.

Excuse me a minute.....

........while I put into black and white a jumbled up mess that's chasing itself in circles in my brain.

I know how this is going to sound outside of my head and it won't be warm and fuzzy.









Himself is important to me. I care about his life.


I can live without him.
He's not indispensible.

Neither am I.
He's not responsible for my happiness.
I'm not responsible for his.

At least I can tell myself this...... It's starting to 'feel' different.

Ah, but 'feelings aren't fact'......they're just feelings.





We share a home.
We share a whole bunch of good times.



I was fine without him.....and I'll be fine no matter what life tosses at me.

I have my head wrapped around being alone again, at some point.

I entered into this deal knowing that was the reality.

One of us will end up without the other.
I'm okay with this.
I'm not rushing it....LOL......but I am okay with it.

Heck, the reality is EACH of us could end up without the other.

I can't rule that out--even if I wanted to rule that out and take that fact from the equation, I don't get to......


I'm not dependent on him.

I don't even know that I rely on him...hmmmmmm.....

He, however, is dependent on me.


I don't know that I like that fact.

But there it is. There's the fact today.


There's a heightened sense of responsibility.

Some days--I don't wanna be responsibile.

And I think I'm working on a resentment that I get to be responsible, whether I like it or not, whether I wanna be or not.



I signed up for this deal. The whole ball of wax--I consciously knew what I potentially was signing up for.
I think the operative word there is 'potentially'.


*sigh*
Really, I have other things to spend my energy on--spending it on formulating a resentment is just a stupid idea.

But here I am.....I can feel it wriggling around inside of me......inviting a disaster.


Cuz when Mel gets resentful she doesn't get 'even'.......she gets 'ahead'.

Dunno that I've ever allowed another human being to BE responsible for me.

Blamed a lot and tried to shirk responsibility just--oh.... all the time for a very long time......but 'allowed' it since I found a different life......no......



He's not me.



But I'm me.

And some days it's all I can do to be responsible for me.....to me......



And now I hit 'publish post' and go back to pick apart every stupid thing I just put up here.

Cuz that's what I do.....put it in black and white, pick it apart, put it back together and watch myself some more.

Dust from the fairy

What you water and nurture.......you will make grow.

Captured Memory

Rawr.

It's a fuzzy Thursday ........and I wanna go on record as having a strong desire to shoot the reading fairies.


Just sayin......

A message from the reading fairy

There will be times when you find yourself in extremely difficult circumstances.

When those times come, it's important to put things in perspective.

Whatever else may be going on, always remember that you have been blessed with life and the ability to live it as you choose.

The transitory ups and downs are merely tiny threads in the overall fabric of your life.

Each one ultimately adds to the richness of your experience.

The quality of that experience is up to you.

TFTD

You cannot change where you already are.

Yet you can have a significant and dramatic effect on where you will soon be.
Live this moment with joy, with purpose and with passion.

Where you choose right now to go, is where you will soon be.

Captured Memory

*humming* It's that time of year again......

Yup...... Last year there were photos of a captured cicada beetle morphing into a cicada of the singing kind.

This year, I didn't haffta bother. Cuz there the little booger was--on our tree in the front yard. Now wasn't that just nicer than nice?

And he morphed as I watched!

Which was cooler than cool!!

k.......I admit I had several neighbors who seemed a bit curious about my newest bizarre obsession--I mean, I'm standing and saying "c'mout, c'mout Mr. Cicada", happily watching up the trunk of the tree forcryingoutloud.

*chuckling*
Oh well!!

If they're talking about me they're leaving someone else alone? ;-)

But c'mon..... ain't he a cute little thing?!

And I just know he'll sing prettier than pretty come tomorrow evening!

Captured Memory

Things that make me happy

....singing cicada's.

....hot, crispy stir fried veggies.

....yellow swallowtail butterflies.

....being the one who opens that jar someone else couldn't open. *snickering*

....feetie prints in the sand.

....finding that one special rock to give a home to.

....underduckie's in park swings.

....waterballoons that hit their target....and fast feets! LOL

TFTD

It's so very easy to wish away our lives, never finding satisfaction with our families, our jobs, and our friends.

The more we find fault with life, the more fault we are guaranteed to find.

Negative attitudes attract negative experiences..... positive attitudes lighten whatever burden we may be learning from.

Yup.....hummin'.......

And Yup......of course it's Rascal Flats......

You feel like a candle in a hurricane

Just like a picture with a broken frame

Alone and helpless

Like you've lost your fight

But you’ll be alright

You’ll be alright

Cause when push comes to shove

You taste what you're made of

You might bend, till you break

Cause it's all you can take

On your knees you look up

Decide you’ve had enough

You get mad you get strong

Wipe your hands shake it off

Then you stand,

Then you stand

Life's like a novel

With the end ripped out

The edge of a canyon

With only one way down

Take what you're given before it's gone

Start holding on, keep holding on

Cause when push comes to shove

You taste what you're made of

You might bend, till you break

Cause it's all you can take

On your knees you look up

Decide you’ve had enough

You get mad you get strong

Wipe your hands shake it off

Then you stand,

Yeah then you stand.

Everytime you get up

And get back in the race

One more small piece of you

Starts to fall into place

Ooohhh.....

Cause when push comes to shove

You taste what you're made of

You might bend, till you break

Cause it's all you can take

On your knees you look up

Decide you’ve had enough

You get mad you get strong

Wipe your hands shake it off

Then you stand,

Then you stand

Captured Memory

A gentle fairy reminder

We don't have to continue feeling like victims of circumstance or remain stuck with a nagging problem.

Just like changing the subject of a conversation, we can change the subject of our attention for a time.

When we do, we regain our sense of hope and change our responses.

Today, I will give myself a break when I become caught or obsessed with a problem.

QOTW 8/10

Identify three things that you've thought about frequently in the past week.

A whole lot of my thoughts and prayers have been generated towards a staff member and all of her family. Her daughter attempted suicide four days ago and almost succeeded. It's been a very difficult week for everyone involved.....and just plain hard.....

I've spent time giving thought to attending a training/retreat that the boss asked me to 'give some thought to'. See, I'd told my boss several years ago that I had 'done my time' with out of state trainings and that it was time to hand that 'treat' over to someone else. The training bit isn't concerning--but the 'retreat' is.....that and it's six days (without the travel time cuz I'd want to drive).
Oh......AND did I mention it's in southern Alabama.....

And I've spent time mulling around the health 'stuff' that I'm getting to deal with whether I want to or not.... It's all in your face with the ill fitting clothes and the loss of weight that's occurred since the start of the year. It's one topic that's tough to get away from when it's constantly being brought to your attention. People notice--and it doesn't matter what you do to try to not call attention to it.

Yes, I know I've lost quite a bit of weight.
Yes, I know I look tired and suddenly 'older'.
And yup......feeling all of it, too!

So pffffffffffffffftttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!! :-P