This week I get to show up for the 'Annual Dinner' where the agency doles out a report on the finances, the successes and the growth in the agency. What used to be a little bitty obscure place no one knew about has grown and diversified and merged and become this huge thing. I came into this agency some 16 years ago, on the heels of a growth spurt, helping design and run a program for adolescents with dual diagnoses--providing an alternative for treatment that wasn't previously available in the state. In our sixteen years, we've worked with some 1284 kiddos and their families. Yeah for us!
Earlier this year I was on a committee for an award that we were establishing in memory of my boss of-- gosh........years. Years and years. I worked with him when I started pursuing my career and then hooked up with him again when I landed here. Actually, it was his repeated phone calls to invite me to be a part of this adventure that brought me here. Designing the award was an honour--hard as that was......I miss the man and his passion for youths and their families and the grownups who work with them.
Thursday we'll be handing out the award for the first time. I know there'll be a presentation about Jim. I'll hope not to get too tearful.
I wasn't against attending when it was about the privilege of being present for the presentation of the award in Jim's name. I was ready to endure the fancy schmanciness of the affair.
And then my boss decided he needed to double check to make certain I would be in attendance. (sometimes I'm known for my anti-social tendencies) I did tell him it was my heart's desire to be there--BUT it was questionable as I had people nominated for the JLH award and because of staffing shortages, I might have to forego attending.
This is when I discovered that my attendance was required as I was a recipient myself---of some recognition award.
Oh. Then nevermind, I'm CERTAIN I'll be needed to work on the unit!
No, that didn't fly.......LOL
I'm pretty good at watching other folks stand up and get recognition they're due.
These next two weeks I'll apparently be getting to stand up for a couple things. I don't do it graciously. Fact is, I don't LIKE it.
I have a tough time standing at meetings to receive a medallion--I figure it's not my doing and it's my job to make certain people know I won't take the glory. Every year I wanna puke when it's time to go pick up that medallion. Nothing about it feels 'right'--other than folks need to see that it does WORK and you CAN have a different life. I'm clear none of the glory goes to little ol' mememe. Honestly, same holds true for whatever recognition they're going to hand me at this fancy schmancy party thingy I get to go to.
Wiseperson in my life helped me long ago, when I was picking up that first year medallion. "You stand up. You thank G-d. You thank the people around the tables. And then you shut the *%$# up and sit back down."
Sound advice.
I've followed that advice for years--it's survived the ages and it's invaluable advice....leastwise it is for ME.
*sigh*
Suppose they'll 'get it' at the agency dinner when I tell them the story of how that advice came to be?
Cuz I was one year sober and I didn't know sickem. Not about life, not about sobriety--not about doing right things for right motives......
And today I still don't know sickem--just what's been freely given to me again and again, from folks who've been desperate to help me find something different.
They get all the glory.
As do those folks in the trenches who day after day put themselves in the line of fire of angry kiddos, desperate to help THEM find something different.
Yep, I 'll thank G-d, I'll thank the people around the tables and I'll shut the *#$% up and sit back down.
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