Often when we're being tough and strong, we're scared. It takes a lot of courage to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, to be soft.--Dudley MartineauWe've developed defenses for protection because we have felt the need for protection from the abuses of others, parents on occasion, bosses, spouses, even strangers.
And in certain situations, our defenses served us well for a time.
However, they have taken their toll.
Hiding behind them for long makes them habitual, and we move farther and farther away from our center, from the person each of us needs and wants to be.
Exposing who we really are invites judgment, sometimes rejection, often times discounting.
It's a terribly hard risk to take, and the rewards are seldom immediate.
But with time, others respect us for our vulnerability and begin to imitate our example.
We are served well by our integrity, in due time.
Letting others see who we really are alleviates confusion, theirs and ours.
We no longer need to decide who we should be; we simply are who we are.
Our choices are simplified.
There is only one appropriate choice to every situation--the one that is honest and wholly reflective of who we are at that moment.
3 comments:
Hi Mel,
Reminds me of an important lesson I learned taking crews out on forest fires; BEFORE going into deadly battle in the middle of the scary wilderness, ask who is scared. Of the people you do not know, only trust the ones who say they are.
I had an entire collection of shields….a different shield for every role in my life.
Even though I have been getting rid of them one by one…it takes some doing not to stop and pick up a new shield.
There is only one appropriate choice to every situation--the one that is honest and wholly reflective of who we are at that moment.
This, I needed.
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