Fair play is primarily not blaming others for anything that is wrong with us.
--Eric Hoffer
As adults, we accept responsibility for our feelings and our circumstances. We haven't chosen our own troubles, but we have the job of dealing with them. If a man falls and breaks a leg, he might say to someone, "It's your fault, and I'll make you pay for this!" But that won't fix his leg. The healing still has to come from within.
Our impulse to blame others is an attempt to escape our responsibilities. We become overcritical. We want someone else to take the rap for our pain and our misdeeds, but this only delays our wholeness. There is no point in blaming ourselves either. When we first confront our discomfort directly and accept responsibility for dealing with it, we feel an inner urge to escape again. If we stay with the discomfort a while, a new stage begins -- the healing and acceptance stage. A feeling of wholeness comes, a feeling of being a real person, of having reached our full size.
May I not indulge in blame today - toward myself or anyone else. Instead, may I be strong and responsible.
3 comments:
I needed this message today. I have been blaming everyone else for how I'm feeling, when I do have some control over how I feel about things. It's hard to have the whole family, Daughter and Grandkids, Spouse and me, living in one house 24/7. The adjustments can be made. Problem areas talked through rationally. I've been blaming others for in action on my own part. This lesson today reminds me that there is a more sane humane way of sorting things out.
Thanks Fairies, Thanks Mel. My source for inspiration today, not just here, but in your comment wondering if I was back. I've been back, but feeling down a bit. You picked me right up by just being a pal.
Peace.
I like this. Very profound. It gives me something real to think about.
All the best, Boonsong
A dear friend of mine is going through something awful and traumatic and I've been looking for someone or something to blame for it. She's lovely and I'm mad that she's having to deal with this. I guess I'm going to have to spend some time coming to terms with it myself before I can do anything to help her!
I needed reminded of that!
C x
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