Many of us have learned to control the responses of others by always being pleasing and charming. Maybe we feel it's better to have others like us than to take a stand. Maybe we only feel okay about ourselves if others approve. Some of us have certainly learned we have a sense of power and control over people when they like us. Many of us have carried our people-pleasing behavior so far that we have really sold our souls for the applause of others.
Are there problems or tensions in our lives from trying to please someone? Is fear of criticism preventing us from taking an action that would be good for us? Have we neglected our inner voice by listening so hard to others? As we get stronger, healthier, we realize that not everyone will like us. Some people will be angry; others, not interested. Once we have faced our own life crises, we are not so dependent on having everyone's approval.
4 comments:
I've got some experience with this one. I know everyone isn't going to like me. And guess what? I don't like everyone either.
It sure is easier to have someone for ya rather than agin ya. But not to compromise values. Yet I don't feel I have to right every wrong. I just steer clear if it's in my best interest. Part of the forgive thing, allowing others to be who and what they will be and accepting it.
Thanks Mel. Thanks Faities.
Peace
A fine line when it's the person you are living with.
My base line has always been if you like me I probably like you.
I certainly prefer it that way but I do agree it's better not to need it.
(Actually, I'm not always able to be pleasing or charming so I hope I've kept my soul!)
I'm on this road of learning, of trying not to always please, of trying to really listen and take care of ..me
Not easy.
Your words ring so true, your words truly help. ♥
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