That's where I head after moments like today. Usually it's with a good cuppa coffee from the cafeteria. OMG they make the best coffee! And if you hit it right at closing time you can get the end of the last HUGE pot of coffee they brew.......and the guy at the counter smiles at you and says "For you...free!" How could you not love that cuppa coffee!!
So, when they 'downsize' the size of the trache (which is a horrid enough of a process) and decide to feed the sister through the g-tube hours after that........which results in a terror filled vomitting session WHILE trying to use the bathroom for the second time in days........it results in clearing up vomit, trying to be encouraging and sympathetic while trying not to gag or get tearful cuz that had to be painful on many, MANY levels..... Whaddaya do.....at times like that, time with the ancients is something that almost seems 'required'.
Sometimes it's in daylight.
Sometimes its in the dark of night with total disregard to the advice of others.
Sometimes it's in midafternoon with a bit of sun filtering through.
Time under the ancients has been a very helpful, calming thing.
It clears my head.
It opens my heart. (I haven't killed anyone yet!)
It centers me in what's true.
And it gives me that bit of time to just walk away from the situation in front of me, breathe.....and remember it won't always be like this.
It won't always be like this.
Some days it will actually be ickier!
Hold on........somedays have been ickier already.....
I meant....somedays will actually be BETTER!
Ohmygosh I sooooooooooo need a shower and a decent night's sleep!
7 comments:
I don't know about the shower, Mel.. But a decent bit of sleep will do you a world of good!
You know you need that world of good so you can be your BESTest for your sister! (btw? You are the best, even when you're sleep deprived)
:)
xo
Yes, exactly what Anonymous G said. You need some rest, okay, and a shower too.
My gosh Woman, where do you store all that coffee?
There will be better days, minute by minute they will improve, change, turn for the better. Like the faith of anything else, like the faith of those ancients, things will be what they are meant to be. What lesson is the big guy teaching her? This hell he is exposing to her and to all of you must be for some reason. Maybe all this is BS. Maybe I just want her to get better soon and be a kinder mess for her and you to deal with.
Such peace sent your way, on the wings of Eagles.
"Time under the ancients has been a very helpful, calming thing.
It clears my head.
It opens my heart. (I haven't killed anyone yet!)
It centers me in what's true."
You and I are so much a like, Mel, because that's exactly what I do when I need clarity, centering, and the opening of my heart. Time spent with the ancients does wonders for me.
Glad to hear that you are taking time for YOU, because the caregiver needs care too. You're right, sometimes we just have to walk away from the situation a bit, breath, taking time for us; remembering that it won't always be like this.
Sending you a HUGE cyber hug, filled with energy, strength, and love....
((((( Mel )))))
X ya, my dear Libra friend!
This made me think of one of my favorite poems: http://thomaslb.deviantart.com/gallery/820836#/d1am74d
I'm told the ancients are being fortified with divine energy these days and are the holding tanks while we open ourselves to receiving.
You are there, Mel. Lap it up. My ancient has energized and advised. Hope you can trust yourself to hear.
Will you accept a nudge, a little love poke, about making sure you take care of your rest? You would be doing it for your sister, too.
So glad you got the sleep and the shower and the time with the ancients.
((((((((((((((((MEL)))))))))))))))))))))))
a little extra so you have more to give....
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