Forgiveness is a process that happens over time. It is tempting to stay stuck cycling within anger, generated by pain, or to become numb so that the pain will not be felt, or to go into denial and not admit to myself that I hurt.
When I allow myself to feel a wound, I am taking my first step toward healing. Forgiveness and healing are intermingled.
When I am more healed, I feel as if there is less to forgive. Hiding my wound makes me feel adamant about my need for retribution or apology. I see the other person as responsible for my pain. But whether or not they are responsible, the pain lives within me, and that is where it needs to heal.
Forgiveness is more possible when I am able to engage in my own process of healing.
Today I will have the courage to stop pretending that something doesn’t hurt.
And I will do the inner work necessary to forgive.
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