'When she's 10.....'

Yeah, yeah....it's always the taking back and handing over that makes me a bit sad. But I'm slowly starting to re-find the house--and just where I put those batteries from the vibrating cow that became "MY cow"......I'm yet to discover.

Oh, and there was a moment--arms ladened with vibrating cow, giant stuffed bear, heart pillow and the squishy pillow she'd slept with, she turned to the blankie on the floor and said "C'mon blankie." like it was going to obey. She was so dang cute when she said it I'm sure if the blankie had ears it would have obeyed. LOL She is her mother's child--who is her mother's child.

But she's gone now--and the house is once again quiet......a disaster, but quiet none the less.

Do I care that it's a disaster? Notsomuch.

It isn't going anywhere.

Ah--but she did turn into a crabby wee thing as I'm informed she's inclined to be when she's not feeling her best. Yup--she's got a cold going on. Grandad hadn't really experienced the 'I'mhavingaMEMYMINE' moment and got to the past two days.......over and over and over again. *laughing*

No worries--he assured me she'd be back for another long weekend......"When she's 10....."

*rolling eyes and laughing*

Yeah, right..... Mr. Shecancomeagainwhenshe'sten put her in the van to go home with the girl and 1o minutes later was looking at a new selection of Thomas the Tank Engine books.

He's such an easy schmooze......LOL

Ten

Fairy Reading

I can let go of things and people and my need to control today. I can deal with my feelings. I can get peaceful. I can get calm. I can get back on track and find the true key to happiness - myself. I will remember that a gray day is just that - one gray day.

Omgosh am I tired......

The whirlwind is again a lump.

(There is a G-d! LOL)

Nana's tired....I don't mind admitting it.

We did a walk and the park this morning and this afternoon--outside with the trike, amusing the neighbors as Nana pushes the trike and the bug says "Bye grandad" ....every time I push past the front door.....which is mannnnnnnny times. She didn't want to quit--but alas, Nana had dinner to finish up.

Which Nana did. (yes, Nana cooks on rare occasion!)

Which was JUST enough time watching Thomas the Tank Engine with grandad for the lump to reappear.

It was a very quiet dinner.

Well, 'cept for the two adults who looked at each other to say "I'm tired....omgosh am I tired....." over and over and over again.......LOL

No worries--she won't be a lump for long!

Omgosh will I sleep well......

"C'mon grandad....c'mon Nana..... Wheeeee!!!"

Fairy Thought

If you compromise your integrity, it will quickly drain away and you'll always regret the loss.

When you do what you do, do what is right. Even though you think no one will ever know, you will always know.

You will know, and that makes all the difference. For real confidence comes from a job well done, and confidence is worth more than gold.

"Going...Nana's house...."

The Lump

There's a lump in my bed.

Not a tossing and turning lump, mind you. A still lump with a "horsie" (also known as a cow) tucked next to it under the bear blankie.

The lump does make noises.

Sighs--happy ones methinks.

And in a bit, the lump will turn back into this whirlwind of activity that say's "c'mon...." and "c'mere" and "again...."

There are just so many times you can do the monkey's jumping on the bed song before you start to wiggle and jump and become the monkey.

I'm hopin' she remains a lump while I get this cuppa coffee in.....

I know the lump doesn't care about the monkey's jumping on the bed.

The whirlwind, however....does......

MORE coffee!!!!

On The Rocks

Daily Reading

We defeat ourselves with labels. We hem ourselves in; we shorten our vision; we cut off opportunities in the making. We influence how others think of us, too. Someone wise said that we teach others how to treat us. Are we teaching people to expect nothing great from us because we are always afraid? Do we shatter their vision of our potential by never thinking we can handle what may come?

We become the persons we have programmed ourselves to be. We can revamp the program, anytime. And right now is a good time to begin. We are surrounded by persons who have done just that.

It's time for praise. We are all that we need to be, and more. We will be helped to do all we are asked to do. We have an inner beauty that only needs encouragement to shine forth. If we smile from within today, we will free ourselves from our negative cages. A new life awaits us.

To catch myself each time I insult myself will be a challenge, but one worth taking on. And it's one I can win!

Fairy Thought

It is not important how far along we are or who is ahead of whom.

The important thing is that we are on the path and experiencing the process.

Swamped

Greaaaattttttttt.......

Well then.....I meet with the boss tomorrow.

Seems he felt a need to warn me--not that I needed warned.
He knows I'm a 'need to know' kinda gal.

And now I know.

He needs to clarify what needs done in the next while.

I don't need his clarification.

I'll get it just the same. It's his job.

I get it.

Already been doing it.....

Row the boat.

Stick to the agenda at hand.

What's to clarify--that he's clarifying it?

Right.

I get it from the top down.

I get it from the bottom up.

Small freaking wonder that I feel smooshed?

O
M
G

I'm starting to wonder if I really CAN do this.....

That is not a warm fuzzy feeling.

Nestled

TFTD

Unfinished business doesn't go away. It keeps repeating itself, until it gets our attention, until we feel it, deal with it, and heal. That's one lesson we are learning.

Many of us didn't have the tools, support, or safety we needed to acknowledge and accept pain in our past. It's okay. We're safe now. Slowly, carefully, we can begin to open ourselves up to our feelings. We can begin the process of feeling what we have denied so long - not to blame, not to shame, but to heal ourselves in preparation for a better life.

It's okay to cry when we need to cry and feel the sadness many of us have stored within for so long. We can feel and release these feelings.

Grief is a cleansing process. It's an acceptance process. It moves us from our past, into today, and into a better future - a future free of sabotaging behaviors, a future that holds more options than our past.

Quilt Barn #21

Daily Reading

"My greatest limitations are in my mind. I wasn't even aware that many of the negative circumstances in my life were the direct result of my distorted attitudes.

"I brought myself a lot of unnecessary misery by thinking it was my responsibility to manage and direct other people's lives. I believed it was solely up to me to make everyone else happy and secure. So I continually placed everyone else's needs first until I didn't know who I was or what I needed for my own happiness and comfort. It's exhausting and insane to try to second-guess everyone. Not only that, it doesn't give me or anyone else credit for being able to think, feel, or act for himself."

Today I will not manage or direct other people's lives, nor will I expect any other human being to fill my inner emptiness. I have the dignity, resources, and responsibility to fulfill my own life just as others have theirs. I will find my own sources of comfort, joy, and peace no matter what others do with their lives and free choices.

Cool Reflection

Things that make me happy....

....shiny puddles on ice.

....crunching the edges of ice around the snow with my little feets.....k...maybe not so little feets.... (helps it melt faster dontchaknow...)

....birdsong. YEAH!!!! (finally......geeze....)

...."Lub you, Nana". Whole sentences, even. :-)

....praying for others. (seriously...)

....trains--when you weren't looking for 'em.

....big, fat green grapes.

...."Lub you, Nana." (worthy of two happy moments!)

Another TFTD

Every day we take so much for granted. But we can count certain blessings: a roof over our head, food, clothing, family and friends, freedom....
These things are special. Thinking about them wakes up our happiness.

Today, I'll tell five people I love that I'm glad to have them in my life.
And I'll tell each of them one reason why.