TFTD

I haven't won yet but I haven't lost, either. --Dennis C.  

A favorite saying in sports is, "It isn't losing to get knocked down. Losing is staying down."  In life, as in sports, that idea makes great sense. Like "Let go and let God," or "Let it begin with me," it is a saying that reminds us of an important underlying principle. In this case the principle is that battles aren't wars, but rather a series of campaigns. No one wins every time out, or can expect to. And some battles aren't worth fighting anyway.  

Fighting a battle isn't hell - our unrealistic expectations are. When we strike out against some old attitude or behavior, we have to realize we're in for the long haul. When the enemy is some aspect of ourselves, we are up against a formidable opponent that won't give up easily. We have to expect that there will be many battles  and not a few defeats. The winner is the one who perseveres longest.  

Only continued effort wins the war; we can't lose if we don't quit.

sickly...

Went in sick, came home sick.
Repeat.

I think I'm sick.
Maybe I'll simply try the "stay home sick"  tomorrow.

At least today I can sit up.

Fairy Reading for the Day

Everything comes from something. All the organic compounds in our world come from four elements: carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, and nitrogen. From these simple ingredients have developed the marvelous chains of self-replicating proteins that fill the planet with jungles, gardens, farms, the swarming life of the sea, and four billion people.  

Each of us contains all human possibilities within ourselves. Nothing that we do comes from nowhere; we all have the capacity for great goodness as well as great selfishness and blindness. The choice, at every moment, is ours. What will we use out of our formidable repertoire of responses?  

Most of us have a pattern of response that we are comfortable with. Our habitual behavior saves us from the discomfort of always having to make a choice. But in exchange for comfort, we give up a little bit of our spontaneity. Every once in a while, it's good for us to become aware of what our habits are, and what determines our usual behavior.

Daily Reminder

Keeping my mind active through good, intellectual discussions is important to me. Talking over golf scores doesn't take us very far. --Louise Jerome  

Small talk is what engages us much of the time. There's nothing shameful about that. Many of the individuals we're in the company of are strangers to us. Inconsequential discussions seem safer then. Yet, keeping our minds active through thoughtful discussions about the world expands our knowledge and awareness. This exercises our minds in important ways. Just as muscles atrophy when unused, so do minds.  

Many people shy away from in-depth discussions. Maybe we frequently do that, too. Oftentimes it's because we feel inadequate to others. Maybe we assume they are better educated. Fears of inadequacy are familiar to most of us. Will we ever learn that we are and always have been all that we've needed to be?  

One of the good things about growing older, for some of us at least, is that we realize most worries don't materialize; most situations aren't as serious as we anticipated, and most people are more approachable than they first appear to be. Taking risks to share our thoughts gets easier the more we practice it.

...rut roh...

I have new fuzzy jammies...and really comfy Acorn slippers.  I had to toss my quacking ducky slippers....and my Snoopy slippers.....and my glow in the dark pumpkin slippers.....and my furry purple slippers.
And I have a new fuzzy blankie.

Fuzzy jammies and fuzzy blankie.
Which means the jammies and blankie bond....well.

Which means I'll just stay on the couch, tyvm.

Today's Lesson

Sharing our experiences heightens our joy and lessens out pain.  Not letting other people know what's troubling us causes the problem to trouble us even more. "Secrets keep us stuck," say the wise ones on our journey.  Sharing what's on our mind with a friend gives that person an opportunity to help us develop a better perspective. On the other hand, staying isolated with our worries exaggerates them.  Staying isolated with our joys isn't helpful either. It minimizes them, thus cheating us out of feeling their full thrill. We deserve joy in our lives - lots of it - because we will have our full measure of pain.

Perhaps we fear others will criticize us for being braggarts if we sing forth our joy. But our real friends will sing right along with us. Our joys are deserved; they offset our trials. Telling others about both will let all our experiences count for something.

Percentages

Yup....tried to help the physical therapist understand the difference between the outside world and a cane....vs the outside world and a crutch.  It's something that's (apparently) never been brought to his attention.  Sheeesshhh...perhaps it's me being accutely aware....or overly sensitive, maybe?
Nah.  I'm a therapist with a heightened awareness for stuff like that.

And I tried to put a "percentage" to my "return to a normal life" cuz I was asked.  Well....gimme a different question.  How am I suppose to put a percentage to THAT?!
I hemmed and hawed and landed at 50% maybe.  MAYBE.

I don't last long walking/being on my feet...and that's with a crutch.
I go to 2 shops and the grocery store for under 2 hours of shopping and I'm done.  (not that I was ever big on shopping, but I used to last wayyy longer)
I still have to take stairs one step at a time.
I can shove snow but not shovel.
I can't wear stuff I used to...k...probably more about the CRPS than the broken leg in and of itself, but still....
I can't carry weighty items one handed.
I can't carry with both hands yet.
I still struggle with keeping balance.
The list can go on.
Where I am is vastly different from where I was when I showed up for PT.
But percentage of return to "normal"?
50% is feeling pretty generous.

On the other hand, when I asked he-who-is-probably-more-objective he landed at 70% cuz all he sees IS the huge improvements from where I was this spring with the stupid brace and notes how much closer I am to "normal" now vs then.

Oh yes the brace!  I still have 'em...both of 'em.
I'm thinking a planter come spring.
Or a table.  Or...  The possibilities abound!!

ummm... Brrrr!!!!!!

Today's Reminder

As we walk through life, there are many things and people we may lose, or lose out on, if we are unwilling to commit. We need to make a commitment for relationships to grow beyond the dating stage, to have the home or apartment we want, the job we want, or the car we desire.

We must commit, on deep levels, to careers - to goals - to family, friends, and personal growth. Trying something will not enable us to succeed. Committing ourselves will. Yet, we need never commit before we are ready.

Sometimes, our fear of commitment is telling us something. We may not want to commit to a particular relationship, purchase, or career. Other times, it is a matter of our fears working their way out.

Wait, then. Wait until the issue becomes clear.  Trust yourself. Do the work needed to remove your fear of commitment. We need to be able to commit, but we need never commit until we are ready.

Icy Floater

2 things...

...k....

Lemme just say that -50° was enough....and then they change it to -60°?!
How rude.

And "Z" is right.   A crutch mean injury.  Apparently a cane means "you watch out for ME and you won't stumble with that cane, lady".
And yup...a cane apparently means I have to put up with folks thinking I have it cuz I'm just old and that's MY problem.  NOT that I'm a spring chicken.  (I certainly don't feel like one!)  But apparently if it (whatever IT is) doesn't go to my armpit I'm not eligible for considerate responses from the general public.
Which well and truly torques my noodle....cuz I'm thinking injured folks, healthy folks....young or old--EVERYONE is due consideration.

I'm sticking with the crutch when I'm around the outside wolrd.

It's got a longer reach and I have practice using it like a javelin.  :-/

Thought for the Day

Go easy. You may have to push forward, but you don't have to push so hard. 

Go in gentleness, go in peace.  

Do not be in so much of a hurry. At no day, no hour, no time are you required to do more than you can do in peace. Frantic behaviors and urgency are not the foundation for our new way of life.  

Do not be in too much of a hurry to begin. Begin, but do not force the beginning if it is not time. Beginnings will arrive soon enough.  Enjoy and relish middles, the heart of the matter.  

Do not be in too much of a hurry to finish. You may be almost done, but enjoy the final moments. Give yourself fully to those moments so that you may give and get all there is.  

Let the pace flow naturally. Move forward. Start. Keep moving forward. Do it gently, though. Do it in peace. Cherish each moment.

Progress

70/30  That's about what the weight distribution is between the right/left leg.  When I go about standing up and standing period.  And this is why I get to practice standing up/sitting.
Oh, but I'm thrilled we're almost to 90 degrees range of motion!  I know where I started--sitting down meant that leg was sticking out and everyone was tripping over it.  I'm happily able to sit in a chair when we go out for a bite to eat now......as opposed to hoisting the leg onto the booth and hoping people didn't notice.  *laughing*  Like that was gonna happen with crutches hangin' around.

I am down to one crutch.  I don't much use it around the house during the day.  Sometimes himself drags it to where I've plopped and makes 'those' noises--yaknow, the clearing-throat-you're-not-excused-from-using-them noises.
NOW I'm excused.  I can use a cane during the day (as appropriate--yet to be fully defined) and switch back to the crutch late at night/first thing in the morning when I need some help with weight being divided differently.

SILLY physical therapist--he thought I'd be happy to be rid of the crutch.
I've gotten kinda used to sticking it under my arm and dragging it down the halls at work as I go here and there (sometimes ya NEED both hands).  And it's not that I'm not gonna be glad to get rid of the crutch.
I know how long I've had the darn things.  I like pretending I'm Tiny Tim.  :-/

Right....lemme say this...

A cane.
A CANE.
Seriously?!  Me......and a cane.

The PT fella suggested WalMart for a starter cane--decide if it works for me and only be out $20 if it doesn't.
I can keep the crutch--though he thinks changing to a cane would be one of those progress kinda deals, "even if it's simply psychological".

I'm thinkin' he has no clue the implications, psychologically, of introducing me to a cane.

And this is why he's the physical therapist and I'm the therapist of another type.

A cane.
......k.....

Fairy Reading

When I hear somebody sigh "Life is hard," I am always tempted to ask, compared to what? --Sydney J. Harris  

We've probably heard all the negative quotations about life. There was also probably a time when we believed them all. Based on the state of our lives at the time, it was probably no surprise that life was difficult and brutal.  Certainly there are many things in life that are harsh and cruel; we see such things in the paper every day. 

But there are some very wonderful things, too. It's just that we've been conditioned to believe the horrors instead of the wonders.  

Today may have been a long, tiring, boring day. But that doesn't mean all days are long, tiring, and boring. There's much good in life that we can see if we let ourselves. 

We can get off our life-is-difficult soapbox and hear the humor, see the smiles, and feel the caring. Life may be difficult at times, but it is also quite fulfilling.  

I need to feel that life is good.

...and please let me remember where I buried the acorn. Amen

Daily Reminder

People Pleasers

Have you ever been around people pleasers? They tend to be displeasing. Being around someone who is turned inside out to please another is often irritating and anxiety producing.

People pleasing is a behavior we may have adapted to survive in our family. We may not have been able to get the love and attention we deserved. We may not have been given permission to please ourselves, to trust ourselves, and to choose a course of action that demonstrated self trust.

People pleasing can be overt or covert. We may run around fussing over others, chattering a mile a minute when what we are really saying is, "I hope I'm pleasing you." Or, we may be more covert, quietly going through life making important decisions based on pleasing others.

Taking other people's wants and needs into consideration is an important part of our relationships. We have responsibilities to friends and family and employers. We have a strong inner responsibility to be loving and caring. But, people pleasing backfires. Not only do others get annoyed with us, we often get annoyed when our efforts to please do not work as we planned. The most comfortable people to be around are those who are considerate of others but ultimately please themselves.

pppfffttt

Note to self:  The medications work to some degree....or...wait...maybe missing PT is to blame.  I missed a dose two days in a row and oh mannnn....yup, not nice.
But I also will be a week out from PT thanks to the holiday and the stupid snowstorm.

....k.... I thought I was finding a solid answer of "yes, the meds make a difference".
Sooo...zackly WHAT am I noting?!
Oh yes...that it sucks to miss PT....and it SUCKS to miss a dose 2 days in a row.
Right....nothing earth shattering there, huh....
*sigh*

Baby it's cold outside....

Today's Thought

Hatred is never anything but fear - if you feared no one, you would hate no one.

--Hugh Downs

On those occasions when we find the bigger person within, we are more generous in spirit toward others. But sometimes we think too much about what is wrong with others and how they ought to change. That is a form of hate. If we are searching for what we have power to change in our families, in our friendships, in the world, we can learn to be big enough to set aside our fears.

Do we bear ill will toward someone today? When we are honest with ourselves, do we feel a sense of fear in relation to this person? What are we really afraid of? Perhaps the same person fears us. When we can do something about our fear, the hatred melts with no further effort. Then we are in touch with the bigger person within.

I have the inner strength to face my fears today. I will not send them outward as hatred.

Happy New Year!!