People Pleasers
Have you ever been around people pleasers? They tend to be displeasing. Being around someone who is turned inside out to please another is often irritating and anxiety producing.
People pleasing is a behavior we may have adapted to survive in our family. We may not have been able to get the love and attention we deserved. We may not have been given permission to please ourselves, to trust ourselves, and to choose a course of action that demonstrated self trust.
People pleasing can be overt or covert. We may run around fussing over others, chattering a mile a minute when what we are really saying is, "I hope I'm pleasing you." Or, we may be more covert, quietly going through life making important decisions based on pleasing others.
Taking other people's wants and needs into consideration is an important part of our relationships. We have responsibilities to friends and family and employers. We have a strong inner responsibility to be loving and caring. But, people pleasing backfires. Not only do others get annoyed with us, we often get annoyed when our efforts to please do not work as we planned. The most comfortable people to be around are those who are considerate of others but ultimately please themselves.
2 comments:
Very interesting that you posted this, Mel, because I work with someone who is a major people pleaser. And I have to say that he can be very exhausting to be around because he tries too hard to please.
VERY interesting to read about where this behavior comes from because I never thought of that. It makes total sense though.
Thanks for sharing, dear lady!
X
just what I needed to read today, thank you
and, as Ron says, it is exhausting to be around
am tucking this one away
TYVM
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