A Bizarre Kind Of Season

This morning himself insisted that the 'fat little cardinal' I was chuckling about was 'fluffed up' to stay warm......until he walked outdoors to discover no winter coat was required. LOL I'm thinking I was right about that cardinal. He really was just a lardy little fella!!

17 inches of snow so far this winter. You wouldn't know it from what's on the ground today. Barely anything. The countryside looks like patchwork suede right now. Streams are thawing, the water is running--the geese stood on random patches of ice on the shaded pieces of shore looking confused. The sun was brilliant and surprisingly warm.
It's not suppose to be like this in January.

So, nice day that it was--we seized the opportunity and we took off on an adventure.

Not far, mind you. Distance wasn't required.........the adventure was.

Last night, after purchasing his ticket for the trip in late February, I was pretty messy. Okay....I mean out and out messy.

I want to go. I know it's just not the responsible thing to do right now.
Do I want his mother thinking I don't want to visit her--do I want his kiddos thinking the same? No.
And do I want him thinking I'm eagerly awaiting that alone time, that I'm glad to be sending him off. No.

It feels bad. It feels really bad.

He tells me it's okay. He tells me he knows the decision making process I've gone through. He knows well how torn I am. It's hard not to know that.
And I don't get to control what other people will 'think'.

We're both clear that waiting until it's a 'good time' for me to go along is a bad plan. His mother isn't getting any younger. There's good cause to not delay the trip. He's not seen his kiddos since he moved from England.
It's time.
He needs to go.

It's a bizarre kind of season.
That's true of the winter weather right now. That's true of life circumstances right now. The thaw ought not to be happening in January.......the river ought not be running, the shore ought not to be littered with iced rocks.

Sometimes things aren't as they 'ought' to be.
But they are as they're 'suppose' to be--always.