I'm getting ready to leave for some of that infinite wisdom that I know I need to go searching for. Leave me with my own thinking too long---everyone oughta be afraid! I know I am!There are some things that I just cannot, for the life of me, sort through all by my little lonesome. I get in my own way. I mean, I'm good.........LOL........but I'm not that damn good. I wanna be that damn good--but wisepersoninmylife assures me that even HE has his places to go, people to see--cuz he ain't that damn good either.
I'm perfectly aware that the man's human.
I'm also aware that he's 6'7" and he can take me in a heartbeat.......and has a couple times. *blushing*
I'm 'stuck'.
I fear some of this is simply about taking an active part in being responsible for things I think I ought not have to be responsible for--or resent that I'm being asked to BE responsible for them. I dare say, I think some of this is simply about being a growed up. *shudder* I still play with bubbles.
Heck, I still run with scissors. How dare anyone ask me to be RESPONSIBLE--especially to THAT degree.
*sigh*
I can 'know what I know'.
I've had a head full of knowledge and a belly full of booze more than once.
There's nothing wrong with my intellect.
There's something wrong with my level of acceptance.
There's lots wrong with my ego and my pride.
And then there's fear.
Don't even get me started about the fear.
I can know a whole lot.
It's when it drops from my head, straight into my heart that I GET it. And once I 'get it' , I REALLY and truly GET IT. Then, I can 'do'.
But that drop from my head to my heart is a doozey.
It's like I jump in the way and let it bonk me in the head over and over and over again to avoid it GETTING to my heart.
Small wonder my head hurts, eh?
Sooooooooooo........ I'm gonna go see wisepersoninmylife and get him to feel sorry for me and assure me that all WILL be well, that the world really IS filled with stupid people asking me to do stupid things............ and he'll just 'love me' into acceptance. *nodding happily*
Riiiiighhhhhttttt......
Like THAT'LL happen..........
More likely he'd sit there, looking all bored, bend over and take a good look at the seat of my chair and start talking--- and like some idiot I'll ask "What ARE you doing under that table?!"
".....talking to ya..... Any minute now there'll be that popping noise, your head's gonna come outta your ass and we'll have a REAL conversation................ I'm just waiting............"
LOLOL Any questions about my level of excitement to leave the house to go see wisepersoninmylife now?!?
Oy.........
Okay, okay, OKAY....
Ready, set........
Outta here!
2 comments:
Good luck with all of this today!
:)
hhhhm
now I've just read all the way down from the top and gotten to here
who are these people telling you what to do, I wonder
why do you have to be responsible for things you don't want to be responsible for, I wonder
I haven't put question marks on those, because they are not questions. . .
and you've written so much fantastic stuff on such an interesting range of subjects and I'm now wishing I'd made the time to keep up with this. . . and and and and and and and
if only I could paste a picture into the comment box, I have the perfect one!
did you used to keep diaries when you "were little" (that set me laughing, as I have no idea how little or big you now are!)
jeez, I'm having one of those conversations with an imaginary person again (reminds me of the old people sign at the top) (andnot that you're imaganiary)
oops, now the kids are late for school, gotta go
keep your chin up Mel, you're doing a great job
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