Embracing the good, the bad and the ugly

I came to see the damage that was done and the treasures that prevail.--Adrienne Rich

It takes great courage to face ourselves--to look honestly and fearlessly at our behavior, especially if we have done and said things we are not proud of.
We may have caused a lot of sadness in our own and others' lives.
It's not easy to look at.
But let's remember, too, that what we do and say is not all of who we are.
And let's also look at the treasures in ourselves--those things we have said and done that have brought great comfort, joy, and love into the lives of others.
Beneath the negative parts of ourselves, deep within us, is goodness.
Let's look for that as well, and water it so it can grow--so we can grow into the persons we are meant to be.

I'm grateful that I get this chance in life--that the places I've been and the things I've done (some things which were horridly difficult to wear the responsibility for) don't define ME. And I'm humbled that those things can be used for the good today.
People look at me oddly when I say that I'm glad I walked the places I've walked.
They don't 'get' that I've needed to walk in those places to 'arrive' at exactly where I am today.

Were they all those things I got to walk through 'fun'? Far from it--though I've had a whole lotta fun along the way.
They don't own me though.
And there was a time they did.

When the phone rang yesterday (as it does constantly at work....LOL) it was a kiddo I'd worked with some 15 years ago. She was just checking in. They'll do that during holiday times.

She'd been to Washington DC to talk with a Senate Sub-Committee and had darn near all the eyes damp from her story.
She's an awesome woman--and she spoke her story well, no doubt.
Today she's the mom to an adopted 8 year old son.
She spoke on behalf of the adopted/fostercare kiddos. She was one herself.

She validated why it is that I keep doing what it is that I do--no matter how far away I get from what I love doing....this is why I do it.

She learned to water what was good in her--embraced the things that brought her to where her feet were and began using her journey to help others along their way. The more she helped others, the better she felt. The better she felt, the more courage she found to turn the mirror to look at herself......
Through the muck and the mire she trudged.........and she's come through the other side.

Trust me when I say there's no pride or ownership on my part for where she's landed and the good that she's doing today.
But there's this HUGE sense of pride FOR her, for what she's brought to the life of that eight year old boy........and all of the children she advocates for today.

I just know G-d's soooooo proud of her.
And I'm proud for her.

And I'm sooooo humbled that I got to be just a tiny part of it all..........