Life's Abundance (excuse me a minute, please......))

Let's talk 'life's abundance' for a minute......

For good reasons, I've a need to hang on to things that I habitually have a habit of letting go of. And I've a need to let go of some things I'm currently hanging on to.......*sigh*

What can I say--
I get blinders. I lose the whole picture. And go figure I tend to focus on whatever has my attention at the moment. I water that and nurture that and make it grow....

So....

Life's abundance.
Let me water that a bit......

I have himself--and he thinks I'm the bee's knees. WHY, I do not know--he just does.
k......wait..... That'll never work.

I can't go around negating 'stuff' the moment I put it into black and white....

I'm loved. Lotsa and bunches and oodles.

And I mean loved by a whole host of people.....people I figured would simply 'tolerate me' find themselves wanting me in their lives. They tell me I'm a pretty cool person (go figure!) and that they LIKE me. That they 'enjoy' me. That I'm refreshing and intriguing and just plain 'fun'. They find me audacious, helpful and caring and compassionate and invested. That use words like honest and trustworthy..... And they tell me I possess a great deal of integrity.

Holy buckets......

These are not words I would have ever assigned to me.
Ever.
I'm humbled that they'd even be used in reference to me and my relationships with others.

Frankly, that shoulda never happened......but it did.

It has.

And wow.....


It's not like I didn't have a hand in 'earning' those things with people.
I did--I mean, I worked my arse off to get back what I'd lost, and to insure that I wouldn't be putting 'respect' up for grabs again.
Not that I'm perfect.
Not that I don't have my 'human' moments..... I do.
But never again will I trounce on others like I did once upon a time.

That other's can't see me as being one who would trounce on someone--blows me away.

Let me hold on to that one and see that as an abundance that never shoulda happened in my lifetime were it not for my work and G-d's desire to find a usefulness for me.

Maybe I can be less mad at Him and more willing to just TRUST.

That'd be good....

k.