Should everybody like me?
When people say they are people-pleasers, they're acknowledging that it's a problem.
It's a problem because it reflects a desire to have everybody's acceptance and approval - to be universally liked. But from what we know about human relationships, this is not possible. No matter how hard we work to be pleasant and likeable, some people may still detest us for reasons we cannot understand. When that happens, we should not blame ourselves or step up our efforts to win them over. Our best course is to be cordial to them and to avoid giving offense in any way.
If our own behavior is mature and reasonable, even the people who don't like us will at least respect us. That may be the best we can hope for, and it is certainly far better than shameless people pleasing. In the end, people-pleasers don't please anybody and, as a famous comedian notes about himself, they "get no respect."
I'll try hard to be pleasant and cordial to everyone I meet today. If some people do not respond in the same way, I'll accept this without feeling hurt or betrayed.
When people say they are people-pleasers, they're acknowledging that it's a problem.
It's a problem because it reflects a desire to have everybody's acceptance and approval - to be universally liked. But from what we know about human relationships, this is not possible. No matter how hard we work to be pleasant and likeable, some people may still detest us for reasons we cannot understand. When that happens, we should not blame ourselves or step up our efforts to win them over. Our best course is to be cordial to them and to avoid giving offense in any way.
If our own behavior is mature and reasonable, even the people who don't like us will at least respect us. That may be the best we can hope for, and it is certainly far better than shameless people pleasing. In the end, people-pleasers don't please anybody and, as a famous comedian notes about himself, they "get no respect."
I'll try hard to be pleasant and cordial to everyone I meet today. If some people do not respond in the same way, I'll accept this without feeling hurt or betrayed.
3 comments:
Cool! The Fairies are talking about Rodney Dangerfield. Famous for his line, "I tell ya, I get no respect"
I started thinking about this idea years ago as a teaching when I started to heal from trauma and rid myself of addictions. "It's none of my business what you think of me."
Hard to live this as it does bother me at times. I'll hear that so and so and him and her are going out to dinner and I wasn't invited. "What, don't they like me?" "What did I ever do?"
It's not just a pity pot, either. I feel it. It hurts. I'm their friend, why aren't they mine?
But deep down, when i examine my heart of hearts, I did good. I like me and if they don't like me, well, I did the best I could and i accept it as what it is.
Sorry, I kind of rambled a it about this, but I needed to tell you this morning, so I wrote it down.
Peace.
yes, exactly
thank you
Ah well I've always said if someone likes me I probably like them too.
And I do find that if I like people they seem to like me.
Does that work? I like most people that I've spoken to.
There's one or two it doesn't work with. *shrug*. Can't be helped.
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