Yup...that's faith for ya.....

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
Impossible is not a word
It’s just a reason for someone not to try

People will have jobs--and in this economy that's a good thing.
Yes, it's 50 miles from where it currently is.
Things change and we don't get to control it.

I'm not sure how any of it was good.
35 people who'd signed up for a difficult job--who'd done their jobs, some for 20 years, faithfully, loyally....with their whole heart.
50 miles.....in this economy.....

I used the word 'devastated'.

35 people's lives, the lives of everyone around them...

The community who'd embraced us for 20 years--devasted.
The school who'd worked so hard and loved my kiddos so well.

Devastated...

The volunteer families.

The little church school the kiddos volunteered at.
The churches who took turns with my kiddos--who can 'out do' the other's kindness...
So many lives. So many people...

Devastated.

No discussion.
Alternatives had been looked at.
Decision made.

Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
But it’ll be alright

I knew it was questionable when I sent the email.
I knew the expectation was to simply inform people of the decision to move the program, to thank them for their support.
I knew the email would activate her 'mission driven' heart to DO something.
I knew she would call with questions, with passion, with a focus energy no one would be able to alter.

I paused.
I checked the unquestionable content of the email.

I prayed.
I hit send.

And I reminded myself.....
Manipulation isn't always a bad thing.

Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

The relationship I have with all of them is forever changed.
I'm one of 'them'.

I am a part of the decision, the one that changed the life that they'd known for 20 years.
It doesn't matter that I am in the same circumstances.
It didn't matter that I too am losing everything I've known for 20 years, the relationships, the community, the security and familiarness of all of this.
I prayed--I've been cared for well.
I've been so graced.

It's not comfortable being one of 'them'.

That's okay.

I'm one of 'them'.
I'm one of His.

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling

No. I didn't have 'permission', not from the other 'thems'.

I stayed in the murkiness of the manipulation.

Yes. I spoke in terms I knew would drive the passion of multiple people.
Yes. I continued to manipulate--on the fringes, layers deep.
I chased the passion of others.....
Passion driven for varying reasons.

Some passions were financial.
Most of the passion was of the heart.

I prayed.

It's just what I do.

No. I didn't have permission.
Yes. I continued to be one of 'them'....the cause of circumstances, the brunt of the anger.
No. I did not confide as I manipulated and fueled the passions in other places.
It was not about me....even though bits of it were about me.

No. No one has a need to know.
I know it's between Him and me.

I'm ok with that.

I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

Next week the announcement will become formal.
There will be no move.
I sent the terms of the lease--it will be signed.

Jobs that were in the throes of being ended, will be reinstated.

No one will be moving.
Not the program, not the people in it.
They will remain--but not as before.
Forever changed. I know.....

But I celebrate, today.
For the community who has embraced 'us' for years, for all the people who have loved so well for so long.

And I pray.
Just like I've prayed every day. Each day.

I am so graced.

I have been well loved, well cared for.....and well trained. ;-)

That's what faith can do.