.....being told by my boss that his boss 'lacks confidence in my ability to be successful', given new expectations/standards we're to work under.
....being asked by my boss if I WANT to still do the position I'm in, knowing what the new expectations/standards are.
....having my fragile little feeling hurt that the statement was made by someone I thought believed in me and knew my heart.
....knowing what's in my heart--might not be the 'right stuff' to remain in my current position.
Now, granted, the boss' boss did say there was more confidence in my ability than some others that were being questioned--that doesn't change the 'ouch' that happened when that message was delivered.
I told the boss, when he asked if I wanted to remain in the position, that I needed to pray about it....and toss it around.
I've tossed it around a bit. Okay......darn little, actually--I had plenty to do in front of me. Makes it real convenient for avoidance purposes, dontchaknow.
Legit question. Ouch statement, but legit statement given some of my decision making to let 'some things go' while I focused on 'other things'.
Other things=kiddos and day to day operations to compensate for the 10 people that left during the chaos of 'moving/not moving' the program.
Some things=computerized reports/data entry for tracking and all that good computery stuff that I tend to want to walk away from cuz it takes time from kiddos and families that I believe needed the time.
I know if the 'some things' don't get done--the 'other things' will eventually not be there. Gotta do the 'some' to get the 'others' to actually DO the things folks in 'human services' DO.
No. I'm not happy.
And given what I know--the boss' boss has a legit concern, even if it was an 'ouch' moment.
No one who knows me has to question where my heart and passion is.
It's with the kiddos and their families.
It's not with the computerized 'some things' which need to happen.
I'm in HUMAN services, not computer services.
I also get one has to happen for the other to happen.
And I probably even get that it's my turn to step to the side and let others have their turn--cuz I am needed/wanted in other places.
Or not.
Maybe that's the 'ouch'. And maybe that's why I was glad for the boss' question--given the changes and expectations...do I even wanna stay in the position.
Dunno.
But I know even posing that question in black and white makes me tearful as all get out.......
Today's not the day to 'toss it around'.
Maybe it's the day to pray about it though.
I'll do that.
8 comments:
I can so indentify with how you feel concerning the OUCH statement you shared about here because I too have had something very similar happen to me in my line of work - it was when I was in management Even though I enjoyed certain aspects of the job, like you, my passion/talent has always been in the HUMAN experience, not the paperwork and figures that management envolves.
And I actually had someone (MY boss) come right out and say, "I don't think you're right for this job." And they were right...I wasn't. But, it did OUCH all the same because I thought I did a good job at manangement, it just wasn't my real passion. So, I change positions - on the sales floor, mingling with customers.
So, you're right, Mel, pray on it and then follow whatever your hearts tells you.
(((( Mel )))))
X
oh
/-:
gak
. . .
hugs, dearheart
XXX
Love and hugs to you Mel, I know you will always do what you know is right.
((((((((Mel)))))))
(((((Mel)))))
This sounds like such a hard place to be. I pray that you will be given peace regarding the correct decision.
<3
I'm gonna pray to. I'm gonna pray that you have some of the good feelings, like the ones mentioned in Thursday's Fairy speech, (The post before this one).
I'm gonna pray for you.
Peace
Mel, I am so sorry you have to experience this charade. I smell cowardice - a lack of willingness to disclose the reason for the dissatisfaction. Was your last performance review good? What changed since then? This is very hurtful.
You were sick and were encouraged to not go back to work too soon. Are they nervous about your health? If so, there are many ways to work out a different approach with a tried and true employee!
When I hear of management handling situations like this, I am terribly disappointed. It is an abuse of authority in my eyes.
Now I will get off my soap box and pray for all of you.
My heart is so very much with you, Mel. I'm completely forgetting about the high road that trustingly says there's something better waiting for you.
Praying about it is really the best road to take and it will help you realize in the end it does not matter what anyone else thinks accept for you and of course God is always on your side!!
(((((((((((Mel)))))))))))
It sounds complicated and as if things are tngled. Also as if your boss's boss is low on confidence in all directions!
Can't help thinking you'd be happier working with your kiddos more and the computer less but then I guess you'd still want a hand in the decision making to make sure that the kiddos were being represented by someone who truly cares about them.
More hugs.
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