Taming the Giant Rabid Squirrel?

Okay--so it's been a stressful week.
WHY, after thirty years of sober living, is that first thought "I need a drink!"? LOL Seriously--ought that not be changed by now?!

No, no stiff one for Mel. Not even after a host of 'ick' that would make you want to vomit.

Nope--bring on the plasticine!

I'm sure it's no surprise that I couldn't bring myself to destroy the giant rabid squirrel. I've taken to snatching him up, waving him at the Brit and making that 'WAHHHRRRR' sound. It's enhanced our communication a thousand fold! (okay, maybe not REALLY--but I do like making that sound and I do like threatening him with an attack by the giant rabid squirrel!)

So-- tonight it was the magic flowers with powers to sooth the giant rabid squirrel. *nodding*
One would think it would be 'safer' and less harmful than drinking. That might be up for discussion at some point.

But I did offered the powers of the magic flowers to the Brit who's doing some viral 'crud' that's got him coughing and sneezing and shaking my hand before retiring to bed. (not with the same hand, of course-- I'm wisened enough to pay attention.) He seemed to think I should save the powers for the squirrel who attacks him on a regular basis.

Wasn't that kind?!
I'm almost sure there's no self serving plot to get me to stop chasing him around the kitchen with the giant rabid squirrel, making that 'WAAHHRRRR' noise involved in that gracious and sacrificial act.

Ahh...but LITTLE does he know those cute little flowers possess evil powers!

Mwwaaahhhhhhhahahahaha!!
:-)

I just KNOW I'm gonna end up grounded from the plasticine.....

ASK me!

I don't like when my integrity gets challenged. I've decided that.
First reaction, straight out of the gate -- defensiveness. Claws come out, I can feel myself flush with the 'oh BOY am I getting angry', and I'm doing all I can do to say what's 'true' in the most 'necessary and kind' manner I can muster up. I'd make a horrid politician--I can still be internally reactive though I'm pretty good at 'restraint of pen and tongue'.

I got a chance to say what was 'necessary, kind and true', in the kindest way that I could. I also got an opportunity to go back and admit to the person I was defensive and that I GET defensive when it's about my integrity. If I lie, I'm the first to come back and tell the truth. My 'omissions of truth' aren't something most folks bother to come back to tell the truth about. I, however, am pretty disciplined in giving that part--only cuz I've had to practice it over and over and over again. I'll omit the truth if it's about keeping confidence ONLY if that's the 'right' thing to do. I know the difference between keeping confidences and keeping secrets.

Yesterday I was part of an 'investigative interview'. Questions got asked of me--but they failed to ask the question ABOUT me TO me. Had they asked, I would have given an honest answer. Because they didn't ask, I wasn't given an opportunity TO be honest...which disturbs me. I can assume I wasn't asked because I have a degree of credibility with the interviewer. I'm concerned it wasn't asked TO me because they didn't anticipate I'd answer honestly.

Talk TO me not about me.
Ask.
Don't assume I'm not credible or that I'm so INcredible that I'd never make a professional error.

Great.
JUST great.
*sigh*

It's not always 'fun'..

NOone likes having to terminate an employee.
Not me, not the two leadership people who work directly with me.
We're all pretty personally invested in each other.
Team's are pretty tight and they work well together.
So when you end up in a position of having to let an employee go, it's not a fun thing. It's never 'fun'. And then there's the 'backlash' from the decision--even when it's 200% right....even when you've had a working relationship with the rest of the folks for YEARS....even when the other employees KNOW it was a good decision based on their OWN concerns.... Suddenly they're a bit paranoid that they, too, could be terminated. *sigh* Everybody gets squeemish. Heck, termination makes ME squeemish.

And then there's the 'junk' of the angry ex-employee that you get to answer to. Worse yet, when they involve administration and you get to answer to them about accusations made. Good practice, good accountability. Come talk to the kids and the staff if you like, look in places you'd like to look. If someone made an accusation about a team member, I'd go looking too. That's the responsible thing to do. Turning a blind eye would be a bad plan, whether the source is credible or not.

It just FEELS crappy.
Like you're not trusted.
Like you've done something horribly wrong.

I know afterwards, it'll be validation of doing the right things. At worst, it'll give us something to do 'better'.
I also know at this moment, it feels crappy enough to have had to terminate someone, period. Toss in the rest of the 'stuff'-- ick........just ICK.........
*sigh*
Some days are easier than others, eh?

Go fly a kite!

When you've had a day chalked full of 'those' kind of moments-- the ONLY answer is "go fly a kite"!

So that's what we did when himself got home. He whined and whinged and carried on about how windy it was.....how cold it was....how tired he was.....and hewasn't even gonna GET the big kite out (we're talking 6 feet of kite without a tail.....goodness knows how long with the tail!). Just the pocket kite, mind you. It's a cool kite. It folds up into its own little pocket and that little kite just soars its little heart out!

But he surrendered---mostly cuz I whinged and whined louder and longer. LOL

And we flew kites!
I'm feeling much better, thanks!
So much better that I can make note that I spent the entire day dating my 'stuff' 4/4...LOL I even rang the worksite to have them change the date on a few things that NEEDED to be altered elsewise it would mean some serious problems.
That musta been the kite flying at work......I'm such a dweebishly prideful person, I'da snuck in and made the changes in hopes to not have them noticed! LOL

I oughta drag himself out more often to fly kites.
It's good for my ego...LOL And however that works, it's just plain good for the soul.

QOTW 4/4

Would you rather be with someone for the wrong reason or alone for the right reason?

I've had the opportunity to do both. And Ohhhh what fun! *rolling eyes* I gleened a whole lot of lessons in both circumstances. The lessons were equally hard learned. LOL I'm a "two by four" learner, also lovingly known as "an experiential learner". (it just sounds nicer, it's STILL painful)

Alone for the right reasons would be my preference. Mostly because it limits who's being affected in the long run....or so I'd like to think. But frankly, even in the 'alone for the right reason' people were still being affected. I'd like to believe that the lessons learned in my 'aloneness' were ones that weren't shrouded and confused by all the 'relationship' garble.

Is it the weekend yet?

The Brit seems to think I've done something 'bad' to my knee. It's got a lovely bruise all the way around it but only hurts in one spot where it's not bruised. With my luck I've fractured it. I just know that I've been pretty selective about what clothing I put on from the waist down. It would seem that even fabric touching that one spot brings pain. *sigh* Stupid stairs! Okay...LOL Stupid ME!

And I'm weary. Tired and weary.
It's been a busy weekend.
We have family events on the unit. Frankly, the agency started it years ago when their focus was 'family based'. They've since moved away scheduling family events--it would seem the kiddos they serve acted out more with them. I'm not sure how they were 'using' the events--we've focused on just making it a time to spend structured in 'play' with your kiddo. We've opted to keep the family events. And yes, we get acting out before and after--sometimes during the event. What do folks expect? We have kiddos with families who have problems like the rest of the world. We also have kiddos with no families, or with families whose rights have been terminated. We work with tough kids who have been through tough circumstances. Don't call my kiddos 'bottom enders'........pisses me off if you do. LOL I'm rather fond of them, thanksverymuch.

It really has been a long weekend, what little I've seen of it. 43 hours in three days.....small wonder I'm tired. But it's a good tired. And the family event went very well--I got to play with several kiddos and their families.
No, I didn't win a cake in the cake-walk. I even cheated and STILL didn't win!

But I DID get my cupcakes made, dangit!
I'd been trying since Friday afternoon to get the darn things made.
Nevermind that I left the batter sitting ON the counter Saturday morning and ran home after a chaotic moment at work passed to bake and frost 'em--after the family event had started! They got done AND they got won!
I'm sure it woulda made more sense to run to the store, huh?

Wow.
It's Sunday already.
This IS the weekend....
*putting head on desk*
I'm tired.....

ACK!!!!!

Ever have one of those moments in time where you KNOW you're whining and you just won't shut UP already? LOL

I've spent my three turns, methinks.
Time to pull myself up by the boot straps and get about the business of remembering how graced I truly AM today.

Okay, so I had the 'do this or you'll end up with a boss you won't respect' whittled down for me when the boss met with the whole leadership team on Tuesday. I now get a clear picture of who that lucky supervisor might end up to be--*sigh* Good people--just not quite 'with it' when it comes to this program and the work folks do. Fine........

I gotta be done whining about all this 'stuff'!
Good grief.........I GET to do what I do. By all rights I shouldn't even BE on the planet, let alone be getting to do some of this stuff that I'm getting to do.
I can KNOW I'm graced and still be an ungrateful snot.

*shaking head*
Somebody get out the big stick....I need whapped.......

I'm probably being hyper-sensitive BUT---

Please don't assume that my motives are impure.
Please don't dismiss my heart simply because you don't understand it or see the value in actions driven by it.
Please don't suggest my actions might have been bred out of anything else than what I've told you they were.
Please don't decide for me what I feel and think, what I 'buy' and what I 'don't buy'.
Please don't draw conclusions simply because you believe yourself 'right'.
Please don't discount what's been said as dishonest.
Please don't tell me what drives me.

I can't 'make you' believe me.
I can't 'make you' see anything differently.
I can't 'make you' not dismiss what's true.
I can't 'make you' trust the source.
I can't 'make you' find me credible.
I can't 'make you' come to ask.
I can't 'make you' anything.

I can only endeavour to do right things for right motives and live with the end results.
So I live with the end results.

Sometimes I don't like how the end results 'feel'.........doesn't make the decision any less of the 'right thing'.
*sigh*

Yes, thank you, I think I'd like some cheese with that whine......

It might not look like much...........

The 'yard' part of the layout. Messy, messy, messy!
Our 'adventures'. Okay--it's stolen railroad property. Have I not owned that I'm a theif?
No doubt there'll be more thievery. LOL At least until the walls are filled up.
There are framed black and whites to go on this wall--that oughta be FUN! ;-)

Now, I need to remind myself that when we started this a winter ago, we had a hellaciously orange/brown/gold striped carpet that ran the lenght of the room, holes in the wall and an embarassing MESS.....orange and tan on the walls, 20 year old ceiling tiles and horrid flourescent lights. *shudder* I'm GONNA find a 'before' photo just as a reminder of how much we've altered and how LESS embarassed I am of the mess that's going on down in that basement. LOL And I'm reminding myself that we're doing this all on our lonesome so far. I'm so hellbent on that for some reason--when it comes to doing the floor....this could be an adventure and a half.

Spring is here and I've got mountains of stuff to do outside.
I'm also on a mission to decide on flooring.
He's on a mission to get the backdrops done and scenery put in on the back part of the layout. Apparently having a new ceiling and lights will motivate work on a train layout! LOL

At least we won't be bored? LOL

....ouchie.........

Okay--so the intent was to take some photos of the basement (mess that it is) and post them here........plus send some on to my sister. I just hadn't gotten around to it.

I opted to do that after I got home from work just a bit ago.
Yeah, well, no one said I was a genius.
I managed to miss that last step or two.
Crashed to the floor on my knee.....

Yes, folks--I swore profusely. LOL
I think it must have been a minute that I laid there. I'm not one for pain shooting through a leg that's malfunctioning because of a car accident years ago. I'm not one for pain shooting through the leg on a DECENT knee.
Oy brother...

And did I snap some photos--yep, I did. LOL
And soaked in a bath cuz ice made me wince too much.
And now can I upload the photos here?
ROFL
Nope. It won't let me at this moment in time.

My sister will be pleased, however. I did the emailed to her.
Not that they're much to look at. Walls and a ceiling and an unfinished train layout.

Maybe I'll take a few more photos.
One of the knee, I'm thinkin'.....it's a pretty colour already!

Nah.
Wouldn't be able to post THAT one either! LOL

QOTW 3/27

What's the last thing you 'lost'?
How crazy did you go looking for it?


FOUL!! Unfair and embarassing question!! LOL

Okay, so it was last Monday and I couldn't find my housekeys.
I have this habit of finding them on my person at the work site and instead of walking them into the locked room where 'stuff' is kept, I toss them in the general direction of the room and go about my business.
When I couldn't 'find' them Monday, I decided I must have tossed them and a helpful staff member must have put them in the locked room.........this after repeatedly going through the house, through coat pockets, emptying out my purse TWICE and generally going room to room hoping some dead brain cell would awaken and I'd have that "ah HA" moment when I'd actually remember where I'd put them.
No such luck.
Instead, cuz I was offically late to work, I buzzed from the house. Of course, half way there I realized that I locked the door and had no way to enter the house unless the keys were found.....or wait for himself to get home with his set of keys.... Oy.

I humbly apologize for being late to the worksite and have to share WHY, of course--only to have my helpful staff start looking in all the desk drawers in hopes of getting me back into the house IF I ever get the chance to leave the office......LOL
Inside coat breast pocket.
Yep, that's where they were the whole freaking time.
Did I WANT to tell folks where they were located? NO!
*sigh*
Humility is good.
Humility is good.
Humility is GOOD.
YES, I told them. LOL
And no, they won't let me live that one down for a while. LOL

Confused?

I'm feeling a bit like this confused mess.

It's been a whirlwind the past few days. Some of it good, some of it just plain confusing as all get out.

We had a lovely evening out with the girl and Las--good times, good company. Take an Irish lass to a 'yeehaawww' kinda dinner joint and you get a whole lot of laughter. Two hours later, when they're wrapping her left overs you'd have thought we were laughed out. Sorry--lost it again when they opted to come to the table and twist tinfoil around her uneaten food in the shape of a longhorn's head. OMG.....Talk about leaving with a tummy ache! Rest assured the food wasn't the cause.

The rest of the week--warp speed with my hair on fire. There's just too much to do and not enough time to get it done in. Why I insist on attempting to do what I've already discovered can't BE done in a normal work day--I haven't a clue. It must be that stubbornness and unwillingness to surrender? *shrug* I WILL figure it out!!

And my boss has a new method of operation.
I've dubbed it 'dump and run'.
Take care of business, add to the pile of 'stuff' that needs sorted through--check your watch and announce the need to exit because you've got another meeting, dump something that you know I'd want to discuss and/or argue........and run like hell.
OY!!

Only this time he dumped two things. He wants me to work on giving him an answer about the position he's been trying to get me to take......or wrap my head around someone who'll take the position becoming MY boss.
Potentially someone who'll know less about the position's responsibilities than I do. Someone that I may have difficulty respecting.
Gee........thanks..........
OH......And while I'm wrapping my head around that/deciding to do what I'm capable of doing.....there's a three day/four night conference that would be benificial for me to show up for....outta state of course.........
Thanks.

Alot.

*sigh*
Take a position that I can do -- but I'm not certain I want to do.
Or--stay doing exactly what I AM doing and lose my 'dump and run' boss for someone I might not wanna be having for my boss. Trust me--he might be a dump and run kinda guy, but I do respect him and believe his heart is good.
Oy........
Eenie meanie miney mo.......

*sigh*
AND a four night out of state conference?
Suddenly the idea of flipping burgers at Burger King sounds really, really inviting.

*sigh*

*whew* It's done!

We oughta be disallowed from doing 'projects' together.
Seriously!

I have one way of doing things--and get outta my way while I do it.
He's got a whole 'nother way of doing things......and his way is much more logical and will get the job done.
Yeah, yeah.....MY way gets the job done, too, dangit........ A STEAK KNIFE WILL CUT SOD!!!!!!!

THAT would be my gentle reminder of the last time I was set on 'proving' I could and would get the job done......MY way.
Silly thing to argue.....even sillier that I was hellbent on proving I was RIGHT!

We had five lights in the basement ceiling cuz I put them up whilest he was away in England. I didn't finish the job because of the position of one of the flourescent fixtures--I was pretty sure he didn't want it crashing into his train layout. LOL So, silly me--waited.

Silly him didn't wanna wait for me to help him remove that last fixture. And he did remove it--without damage to the layout I might add.
And then he decided we'd finish that area with more recessed lighting.
Okey dokey--sounds like a plan.

He felt bad because I'd done the whole project without any of his help.
I started thinking I'd not done a good enough job, for some reason. LOL I have messed up thinking and can make things all about MEMEME!

I decided the best recourse was to exit the area and let him do his thing. Heck, I work best that way.
He summized that I was upset/mad.
I summized he didn't need another hand or someone (like me!) critiquing or giving him 'helpful hints' since I'd done 5 of the lights already....and I know me and my propensity to pop off with my not so humble opinion.

We now have the entire ceiling finished in the trainroom. And it looks darn good.
No one was killed during the installation of the ceiling.
No animals were harmed.
LOL

It's all good.
Unless the house burns down cuz we wired something funky.
The good news is now he won't be able to blame me and me alone! *snicker* I'll slip the firemarshall fifty bucks to say he couldn't determine WHERE in the ceiling the fire started if need be.... :-)

Smile and Nod

Gotta love the greens of Ireland.

And we had a lovely visit with Las--she's just a hoot. You get her and the Brit going and everything's up for grabs. It was definitely a very nice time.

We met Las through strange circumstances with the girl. The girl tends to pick up stray animals and strange friends. LOL Las is just plain whacky--she's got the good makings for a lovely relationship filled with good moments. All that's true and you just can't help but wanna adopt the gal.

But it was the blind leading the blind around this joint. The Brit was trying to interpret Las' remarks for the girl and I--and I gotta say, some moments he was equally hard to understand. (especially since he's just returned from England where he was overcompensating because he was told he sounded horribly 'Americanized'. LOL)
I did the smile and nod routine a whole lot.

I did end up laughing myself to tears, though....it would seem that on St. Patrick's day when Las, in all of her Irish wonder, tried to order at the bar the bartendered decided it would be easier if he just had her write it down. Apparently he looked at the paper, handed her a Guiness and simply told her "I can't make heads nor tails from the handwriting any better than I can your accent--have a beer and be happy." She drank free beer all night and boy, does she think America rocks! LOL

QOTW 3/20

"Do you travel for work or for pleasure (or in some lucky cases, for both at the same time)? Do you enjoy it, or does it depend on the reason?"



I don't know if you can count a 45 minute drive twice a week 'travel'. Ugh....some days I count it. LOL
I'm just not 'in' to the reason for the travel.
I'm not a very politically minded gal, I don't 'do' office politics worth a darn--nor do I want to necessarily 'improve' my abilities to DO office politics. I tend to simply say what I'm thinkin'--I don't particularly mind the audience I'm saying it to. Go figure.........

I enjoy the drive most days. But that's because the eagles are out and the birds are whizzing around.
Driving is a calming experience for me.

Conferences that require me to be gone for a night or two--I pass on cuz I've 'done my time' going to conferences and I have the luxury of staying home today. Gimme the all day conference that'll hand me the CEU's required so I can go BACK to the worksite and play with the kiddos!

Wearing Green?

I conceeded--I wore green.....

Yeah, yeah.......I work with 24 adolescents who'd love nothing more than to pinch me. I'm not convinced a single ONE of them is Irish. I don't think they care, today.

Las might care.
I was rushing around this morning, picking up, trying to give thought to what to feed an Irish gal on THE holiday for her. Broiled salmon. LOL Yeah, yeah. I know, not real Irish. I was thinkin' of dying it green. St. Patricks Day on a Lenten Friday.......doesn't leave ya a whole lotta squiggle room, huh?

A little butter, a bit of dill weed......
Oh now, you didn't really think *I* was gonna cook it, did ya? LOL

I'm suppose to be making an impression. HE'S cooking! :-)

More sighing material--

Charlestown Harbour

Charlestown Harbour

Frinton Beach

Low Tide

Blue Skies---

--Nothing but Blue Skies from now on.






Yeah, okay--so I'm singing. LOL
Picture it loud and offkey, cuz that's how I'm proned to doing it.

Have I mentioned that I genuinely LIKE some of the folks that I work with? In spite of them setting me up for humility (yeah, I'm still squirmy about that piece of artwork...LOL) on a regular basis--they're just fun people.
In the line of work that we do, you either find a sense of humour real fast, or you're not going to last in the field. We work with some huge traumas, learn to laugh/hang on to the good--or burn out is about what it boils down to.

Only, the world, as a whole, doesn't operate that way. Heck, it varies from worksite to worksite in our agency alone.
We're kinda a 'wild and crazy' group.
Plunk 12 of us in a room for CPR trainings with "we're the professionals" and we're apt to look a tad......ummmm...insane?
Well, *I* am anyway!

And apparently I'm fun to 'pick on' cuz I'll dish it 'back attcha'. And I'm a fun one to 'get'. Trust me when I say I don't 'allow' that very often. LOL

When you hear a vetran staff member telling a 'newbie' on the worksite "Hey..that means she LIKES you. She wouldn't give you a hard time if she didn't." you have to smile. Leastwise *I* do.
My favorite is when I then sneak up to the newbie and whisper "She lies. I just told her that cuz I knew she'd believe it.", pat 'em on the back and walk away....
It's GREAT fun.

I did get certified for CPR......again........
I'm not sure if it was my actually utilization of the techniques, though.
It might have been a desire to get me the heck out of the room.
I think it was my enthusiasm.

When someone's collapsed ON the fllor in front of me and it's CPR or nuffin'.... a gentle nudging and a 'can you hear me' is NOT my solution. I don't know about you--but I'm going to be beyond certain that CPR is being required before I plant my mouth on someone.

'Can you hear me?'

No, no , NO!

"HEY!!!!! HEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! You do NOT want this mouth on yours---RESPOND DAMMIT!!" FEELS like a better technique.

That and "GET UP AND GET YOUR CLOTHES ON!! YOUR WIFE IS HOME!!"
I LIKE that the newest hire in our shop lifted the dummie and said "Oh Gawdddddd.....Where's my pants?!".
I think I'm gonna like that gal......lots.........
:-D

Waaaahhhrrrr......

Attack of the killer squirrel!!
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!

*snickering*
Okay---now THIS kinda stuff I don't mind sharing! LOLOL

WAAAHHHHHRRRRRR!!!!!

(I'm almost sure that's the noise giant evil squirrels make!)

Fear of the Artsy-Fartsy.....LOL

I'm not exactly known as some 'artsy-fartsy' kinda person(stolen term from himself, of course!). People are utterly blown away when they step into the house and see quilting and cross stitch and handmade 'stuff' by yours truly. WHY, I do not know.....I guess it's just not something I broadcast to the world. I figure it's kinda--dunno.....private, maybe?

Oy geeze, I can see THIS getting made about 'fear' already!
*rolling eyes*

Yeah, well, on a 'hard shove' I got involved in some artsy-fartsy kinda deal in the work place. So it came out in the agency newletter and I got chided into it. Someone had to represent the offsite program I manage--and guess who got picked. Can I mention I had a whole three days notice of being 'chosen' before the 'project' was due. Yeah, yeah......well, I turned in an entry.....*sigh* Gotta lead by example, right? *rolling eyes*

Are you GETTING the sense I wasn't liking it in the first place.

Picture my---overwhelming sense of pleasure (NOT) when I walked into the training this morning only to discover the entries hanging in the room. HANGING IN THE ROOM.

No--get the gravity of that, will ya?

I mean H A N G I N G I N T H E R O O M .
For the world to see.
Gratefully, only with program names on them.
Only.........I had 12 staff present for trainings today.

*sigh*
Oy brother.

No, WE didn't win.
WE took second place.
Ya know......that means one thing.
Well, TWO actually.

1. WE will get to do more 'artsy-fartsy' projects as they appear--probably with three days notice. Oh joy!
2. I'm gonna haffta find a whole lotta 'hush money' to buy the silence of the staff who actually witnessed OUR entry.

G'head.........guess which was ours.
The whole freaking agency has seen it, why not the rest of the world.
*sigh*
And I don't wanna HEAR a word about 'fear'.
*grumbling*





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