An afternoon in the park

There's something about autumn and the changing of the guards. Feels a lot like it's the changing of the guard--that the trees are being deserted to make their way through the harsh winters here, alone. Spring comes and they're kept company again, buds eager to be a part of the season. But come fall, it's every leaf for themself! And they scatter hither and yon, finding a place where they can be of importance, sometimes a part of, sometimes singularly.














So I met with wiserperson and we discarded the self pitying crud and came to terms with the sudden limitations which came accompanied with fear. I react in fear. I forget where my peace and contentedness comes from. And it's not in what I physically do, it comes in what I bring to the lives of others. My value is no less because of the physical (temporary) limitations. I still have a calling, a mission--and G-d's still firm in His plan for my life. The question remains, am I still firm?














I don't intend to change anything today--but underneath the noise is still that fear driven child of G-d who can waiver on what's true in moments of change, self created or circumstance created. Will my value diminish because I'm not up to snuff. My value to my employer, to my spouse, to my friends, to the kiddos I serve--to my G-d. What becomes of that 'identity' that I've wrapped myself in and called "MINE" for so long.














Wiseperson reminded me that my identity was formulated longggggggg ago and I surrendered to His will for my life just this morning, did I not? *chuckling* SAME as I've done for almost thirty years--every morning. Some days I suck at it worse than others? I got a headlock and all the assurance in the world that the mission hasn't changed, the calling hasn't changed--the attitude and how I was looking at things was what had changed. I know that's true--it's what I told him on the phone BEFORE the time at the park. Me and my attitude..........it's always a choice.














So what's different after two hours in the park? Not a darn thing--except I'm reminded ONE MORE TIME of who I am and what I get to do. And the operative word is 'get' to do. Cuz it is a privilege. I'm reminded of who I am NOT. I'm a whole lot more grateful. I'm not feeling deserted and like some changing of the guard happened without my permission. LOL And I'm feeling pretty graced cuz we got to see eagles today. AND wiseperson in my life assured me that HE still has plans for my life even if I don't cuz I was too busy in my own head.


That means he's volunteered me to chair a meeting somewhere for the next month! He's not fooling ME! LOL