Happy Bunny moment #3

You'd think by now I'd have pulled up my big girl panties and gotten over myself, wouldn't ya?

It IS all about MEMEME, ya know. Eeesshhh...

And yep, I admitted this to wisepersoninmylife.

Yes, WE had a conversation.
It's actually the first time I've approached it in words other than "WE aren't discussing it, thanksverymuch".
Even 'the girl' knew better than to push the envelope. She informed me she wasn't discussing 'it' either--not until she hears directly from the gal involved that she is indeed carrying twins that belong to 'the boy'. Even then she's not convinced that the two babies are the product of 'the boy's' hormonal moment.

Wisepersoninmylife suspects I'll be an awesome 'grandma'.
(yes, I did leave him 'upright and breathing')

I suspect I'll need to do what he suggested--
"Pull up your big girl panties and get over yourself"
This genuinely isn't all about MEMEME.
Fact is, none of it is about me....even though it's all about me.

I'm not exactly sure how I'm suppose to work this.

For very good reasons, including my own safety and sanity, there have been firm and tough lines drawn around what's 'allowed' and what's not 'allowed' interpersonally between 'the boy' and myself.
I know what will demonstrate to me that he's 'doing the deal'--sadly he hasn't produced. Still drinking, still using chemicals of the illegal kind and no personal responsibility for the havoc, no amends and more of the victimy 'I've always tried to make you proud and I've never been able to be good enough in your eyes'. It just doesn't cut it. I know the song and dance--I did it forever. As much as I love that child/young man--I won't accept less. And it's a 'won't'--cuz I certainly can. It's a 'won't'.

And now there's two babies---innocents that didn't ask to be a part of the issue that are an issue.
And the question of 'what are you going to do NOW'?
They really are the innocents. Uncool that they should be cheated because of his actions/inaction.

I don't even know the mother's last name.
Or where she lives.
But I do know that she has four tattoos and just got her fourth piercing.
And 'the girl' informed me that the mother is on probation for repeat charges of 'possession of a controlled substance' among other violations.

And there are two innocents involved here.

None of this gets to be about me.
I'll get to grieve the loss of a dream (again) and move on.........and decide which course I'll need to take so I can BE a decent grandparent to two innocents without engaging in the insanities or compromising my own wellbeing.

Dunno that I have big ENOUGH big girl panties TO pull up............but I best find some fast!