According to the fairies....

It's about Gratitude and Acceptance....

Yesterday I sent the email.
It must have been a 'weak moment'.
WHY I consider moments like that 'weak'....dunno....(k.....there's a lie....):

k....here I am tellin' on myself.......

I’m tired.

I think, in part, to just physically being where I am. (though I’m assured it will get better......soon would be good……..)
In part because I’ve had very little help getting done what’s required—given my two key folks ARE where they are, getting to deal with what they have to deal with.
It ends up being---well, ME! And well it should, eh? It's my job....
k……
In part cuz I’m a freaking 'overachieving', prideful person who won’t (and I know it’s a ‘won’t’) allow people to pick stuff up when they’re already dancing as fast as THEY can, too…..dealing with their own full plates and ‘stuff’….And folks ARE dealing with a whole lotta 'stuff'. This is just TRUE.

It just is where it is at this moment……and it’s just a ‘moment’.

But..... I needed to tell you that I’m tired and (on occasion) overreacting to the ONE MORE THING being put on the plate that needs done ‘yesterday’ or ‘sooner than you have time to make it happen’.
And for that, I apologize.
(hopefully in advance....)

We’ll get it done—whatever needs to BE done—cuz that’s what we do.

k…….done tellin’ on myself now……..

It was the responsible thing to do.
I know I've been reactive.
I know naughty words have come out of my mouth at wrong times.
I know I've been intolerant of things/people/circumstances.
I know I don't WANNA tolerate and accept some of the things that are getting to play out in front of me.
I know I'm tired.

OH boy do I know I'm tired.
I also know I still get to do what's in front of me.

And I know I pushed 'send' and closed the email window to go on and do what was in front of me.
Today I know he'll find me.
He tried yesterday.......when I was in a session with a family.
And I know he'll have options to offer.

Now--will I TAKE any of the options?
That's the real question.......
"Overachieving, prideful person"....

Boy--when I tell on myself, I tell on myself BIG.

*sigh*

• Gratitude and acceptance:
  
  It IS where it is. I didn't create it, I can't control it....and I can't cure it.
  
  I have great folks who work with the kiddos and families--who really ARE dancin' as fast as they can, taking turns falling apart so we get done what needs to get done. They've been responsive to being told "It ain't your turn to lose it....you're next on the list.....hold that falling apart moment, please!!"
  
  There ain't nothin' that's going undone that's gonna make the kiddos and families lose out.
  
  We WILL have real trees on the unit for the kiddos--the Fire Marshall said as long they're fireproof...(somethings don't HAVE to be accepted, they have to be manipulated!)
  
  I AM a good manipulator.
  
  I AM good at persevering.
  
  I prefer to WIN, thanksmuchly.
  And I'm good at helping people WANT me to win. :-)
  
  Did I mention we have 10 foot ceilings and that there's these really, really pretty 8 foot trees I've got my eyes on? (gotta leave room for the stars dontchaknow...)