Just a Whitecup Moment (pardon me a minute....)

Yes, I know it's New Years Eve.

Yes, I know most folks are raising something. . . . different than a whitecup with goobery thingies down the side of it.....
This (the goobery thingies) is not my fault! k.....apparently it is, but it's not a DELIBERATE thing......
Now, the absence of raising of something different--mostly my fault cuz I'm a coffee freak, though I didn't ask for the disease of alcoholism.
I mighta kinda sorta helped it along......but.......

k.......I helped it along.

Sheesh.

Where was I?

Oh yeah......it's New Years Eve.
*looking around*

If you've been hangin' around this joint for any length of time you know I don't 'celebrate' on New Years Eve.
Nope--not even during my 'drinking career'.
Fact is, it was one of the few nights you could actually find me sober.

It's not my deal.....by choice.
It's an honour thing, I think.
A kind of 'tradition' that I uphold.
Initially for wrong reasons...and today for very right reasons.
I'm here, complete with the whitecup with goobery thingies down the side, to remind me of those reasons.

You'll have to excuse me while I remind me:



I lost my mother on New Years Eve many, many moons ago.
I was just a wee thing. And I prayed really, really hard......a very unselfish prayer for such a wee thing.
I asked You to simply let my mother live into the New Year.

Not for an abundance of time....not to see me graduate out of grade school, not to be there for my first prom...... not to see me get married or to hold grandbabies--just let her live into the new year, that's all.

It didn't get to happen.
But the beginnings of a longstanding resentment with You did.

I decided You were capricious and fickle and didn't give a care about me and what I wanted/needed in my life. I decided it was stupid to go to you with anything, for anything.
And while I might have gone through the motions because I was all about making it LOOK good for the world around me........I decided You--were an extortionist.

Gimme.......... Do this.......or else.

I decided better I become the great and powerful ME.
And that became my world, my mission, my creed.

Me. Mine. Where's MINE. Gimme........ Do this........ or else.....

I opted to chase after things that, I'll admit, You tried to warn me about.
WHY you bothered to do that after ignoring my prayer only served to fuel that resentment I had..... Capricious extortionist. I was convinced.


Can I just say I'm glad I got around to discovering?
Can I just say how grateful I am.....for every circumstance, for every course of events, for every storm and every joyous, harrowing, eye opening moment that brought me to the great understanding of how very, very, VERY loved I am.....exactly AS I am?

Can I just say how much I love You?

Hope so...
Cuz I just did.

((((((((((((((((( The Big Guy )))))))))))))))))))))


Thanks, yaknow?
Thanks for taking such good care of me--even when, ESPECIALLY when, I was being a horses rearend.

And thank You for bring me to this New Year.